Hold onto your horses, cuz things will get pretty nuts in this chapter. Except for the scenes involving Luan, ironically enough.


"Cotton candy?" Ryan offered one to Luan as they sat down on another bench in the bustling amusement park.

"Thanks." she accepted it dejectedly but didn't even take a nibble. Ryan pulled a piece from his and stuffed it into his mouth.

"So..." he began with a full mouth and swallowed "...why do you keep pulling pranks and cracking jokes if none of them like them? Not judging you or anything, it just seems kind of counterproductive to keep doing it to a bunch of people who don't like it. I`m sure it doesn't make the best PR for you as a family member."

Luan sighed. "I dunno...I just thought if I keep trying at least one of them would like it."

"There`s nothing wrong with trying, I suppose?" Ryan shrugged. "But if you keep getting one bad review after another from the same people then shouldn't you start considering that they might not be the right audience? Isn't feedback important for comedy?"

"I suppose..." Luan looked down.

"Aren't there others who enjoy your acts?" Ryan inquired. "I mean I think you're funny, but one dude isn't an audience."

Luan rose up. "Sure there are! I perform for my grandpa and his nursing home pals whenever they take a bus trip, and I have performed as a birthday clown several times already. They all loved it!"

"See, sounds like you have your audience." Ryan replied nonchalantly. "One of them is even family, so why waste so much time making eleven sticks in the mud hate you?"

Luan didn't know what to say. When put like that her attempts to make her siblings, and even her parents, laugh did seem incredibly inane and futile.

"They don't hate me over it..." Luan retorted, though her tone betrayed a major lack of confidence in her own words "...they...just get cranky cuz they don't get the joke."

Ryan gave her an unconvinced look. "What I saw today sure looked like hate. Specifically, of the "feed up with something" variety."

"I mean, I don't know the full context of it, but the words they said to you are the kind of words I would dish out at folks that I seriously don't like."

Luan shrank and looked away. His words cut like a knife, she found it harder and harder to deny that her family was truly pissed at her this time around.

After she made no reply Ryan sighed. "Look, I`m sorry if I upset you, it's just-"

"No, you're right they are angry at me." she finally admitted sorrowfully.

"So why do you keep doing that "Prankmageddon" of yours if-"

"I don't know!" she raised her voice. "I don't usually think about it! I just...i just do it! I feel compelled to and I just do it!" she admitted flippantly.

"Wow! Easy there." Ryan raised his hands. "I didn't mean to offend you."

Luan deflated. "I`m sorry I yelled at you." she fought back tears.

"I`m not angry." Ryan reassured her. "I just wanted to give you some advice."

Luan looked at him tearfully. Feeling guilty, Ryan extended his arm and pulled her closer, allowing her to rest her head on his shoulder.

"Luan..." he tried to sound as soft as possible "...I think there's something seriously bothering you. And you don't want to tell anyone about it."

The girl sniffed. "Cuz I know I'm a screw-up. Even my family can't stand me..."

"Now wait a second. You're overexaggerating." Ryan joked. "There's a difference between being pissed at someone for the moment and actually hating someone."

"Then what kind of advice did you want to give me? And why?"

Ryan sighed. "Time do it."

"Because I like you, and I`d hate to see you put yourself in harm's way, even if you don't realize what you're doing."

"Doing what?" she sniffed.

"Luan, let's get real. Your siblings are getting tired of your yearly prank apocalypse. Lynn said some very unflattering things about you I`d rather not discuss in detail. I can see when people are being put to their limit. And I really don't think it would be good for you to keep pressing their buttons."

"So you're saying I should quit comedy?" she concluded sullenly.

"I never said that. But I think it would be better for you to quit your April Fools tradition, as far as I see it's causing you more pain than joy in the long run. And maybe consider practicing your pranks on someone else. Cuz beyond annoying your family, didn't you ever think that your pranks might have...bad consequences?"

Luan blinked through her tears. "Worse than my family despising me?"

Ryan sighed. "I`m afraid so. Didn't you hear about the bitter argument your folks had over you last night?"

Luan rose up with a startled expression. "What do you mean?"

"Your dad went fishing yesterday and when he came back everyone was livid and accused him of helping you out and then fleeing to save his own skin."

"What?" Luan looked scandalized. "I only ever got him to do that once. I`ve long since outgrown the need for an accomplice!"

"I believe ya, Luan." Ryan replied. "But for everyone else, it was hard to ignore the convenient timing, especially your mom who forced him to work all night peeling the furniture down and then sleeping on it. And I doubt she`ll speak to him for the foreseeable future."

A wave of guilt quickly hit Luan. How could this have happened? And it was all a result of her actions?

"I`m sure you didn't mean to, but intentional or not, you wound up screwing your old man over hard and made your mom be pissed for nothing."

"What have I done..." Luan uttered desperately and collapsed into Ryan`s embrace again, sobbing softly.

Well, his mission was going in the right direction, if only Ryan didn't feel like trash for the way he was handling it. But he had to give Luan a dose of reality one way or the other.

All he could do now is comfort her.


"What`s that you're holding?" Lori asked instantly while pointing at the paper in Lynn`s hand.

Her and Lincoln were busted and were being scrutinized by four pairs of eyes. Lynn quickly hid the paper behind her back.

"Holding what?" she faked ignorance. Lincoln facepalmed.

Rolling her eyes in annoyance, Lori glowered at them.

"Do you think we're blind!" Lola snapped. "What's that piece of paper!"

"It's just tissue!" Lincoln cut in. "Lynn has the flue. And uhhh..." Lincoln touched his forehead and pretended to shudder "...I think I caught it from her. You guys better get away from us. We don't want you to get sick too!"

"Ohhh...you poor things!" Leni gasped sadly. "You need bed rest and chicken soup, and a doctor-ow!" she was cut off by Lola stomping her foot.

"Get your head out of the clouds. That's the most obvious lie I ever heard!" the princess lashed out at her.

"I knew you were up to something..." Lori sneered at the pair. "If you're being so secretive about this piece of paper then it must of some value." Lori slowly grew a smirk. "Okay! What is it!" she asked eagerly.

"It's nothing! It's just a worthless piece of paper!" Lynn retorted.

"Your choice, dweebs." Lori shrugged. "Then we`ll have to prie it out of your grubby, little hands!"

"No, you're not!" Lincoln boldly stepped between them. "You're not taking a single look at it!"

Unfazed, Lori shoved him to the floor.

"Linc!" Lynn gasped when Lori grabbed her wrist and pried her hand open to take the paper.

The jock narrowed her eyes. "Oh, no you don't."

Lynn leaped at Lori, snatching the paper with one hand and planting the other one on Lori`s shoulder for support. Before the latter could register what had happened, Lynn did a flip jump over her and landed gracefully behind her and the rest.

She sent them a teasing smirk. "Looks like star quarterback Lynn Loud is going for the touchdown!" she boasted before sprinting away from them.

Lori growled and fumed. "Get her!" she exclaimed before she and the twins chased after her.

Getting up, a worried Lincoln followed suit. The commotion caught Lisa`s attention, who had been busy working on the fox toy, and she peeked through the door after her brother.

Lisa stroked her chin with intrigue.

A confused and worried Leni remained where she stood. "Guys! Lincoln and Lynn can`t play football when they're sick!" she cried in concern.

Lynn rushed down the stairs, followed by her sisters. Once she reached the bottom, she abruptly stopped and crouched down, causing Lori and the twins to trip over her and crash into a pile.

Lynn winced before growing a cocky smirk as she strolled towards them. "Looks like somebody has two left feet!" she mocked them.

"Lynn!" Lincoln called after her from atop the stairs. "Get that thing out of the house and destroy it!" he shouted urgently.

"On it, bro!" Lynn said affirmatively but just as she was about to run for the yard Lori grabbed her ankle.

"You`re not going anywhere!" Lori hissed.

Cursing, Lynn crumbled the paper into a ball and looked at her brother.

"Linc, catch!" she threw it to him. Lincoln, barely having the time to react, clumsily caught it.

He soon gulped as all eyes were on him now.

"He has it!" Lola shouted as the twins got up. Lori pushed Lynn off balance and got up as well.

Lincoln, sweating fearfully, backed up.

"Oh no, Linky! You're sweating from your fever!" he jolted as heard Leni from behind him.

"Get him!" Lori shouted from below.

Lincoln turned back to Leni. "Look out! A spider!" he shouted.

"WHAT?! WHERE!" Leni screamed and ran through the hall blindly until she slammed into a door and fell down.

Lincoln tried to run for cover when Lisa jumped into his path. Startled, Lincoln halted.

"Excuse me, brother, but I may I observe the item that caught everyone`s intrigue?" she asked. Lincoln growled.

"Lisa, get out of-ah!" the twins jumped and clung on to him.

"Give me that!" Lola yelled.

"Get off me!" Lincoln fumbled around, desperately trying to keep his footing and to keep the paper out of reach.

"Don`t be so selfish! Let us see!" Lana retorted while trying to grab it.

"Perhaps I should take custody of the mystery item!" Lisa was jumping up trying to reach the letter.

"You don't even know what it is!" Lincoln snapped.

"If you have it I want it!" Lola whined.

"That's precisely the thing that makes new discoveries fascinating!" Lisa retorted to her brother while trying to reach it, when suddenly, Lincoln toppled over and landed on top of her. The twins wrestled him for the letter when Lori grabbed them both and yanked them off.

She promptly grabbed Lincoln by the collar of his shirt and hoisted him up. "Now be a good boy and show your sister what you have...OR I`LL TWIST YOU INTO A PRECLE!"

"Never!" Lincoln stated defiantly and hid the paper behind his back. Lori fumed.

Suddenly, Lynn jumped on Lori`s back and grabbed her in a chokehold. "Let go of him, you bully!"

Gasping, Lori dropped him. "Run, Lincoln! I`ll keep her busy!" Lynn shouted.

Lincoln barely stood up when he was tackled down by his three little sisters. With surprising strength, he stood up and threw them all off before slouching as he panted with exhaustion.

Grabbing Lynn`s wrists, Lori pried the jock`s arms off her throat and let her fall back. She immediately set her sights on Lincoln. He ran.

"Enough games, twerp! GIVE ME THAT!" she quickly caught her fleeing brother by the arm. Lynn rose up just in time to see it.

"Lincoln! I`m free!" she waved her arms. Lincoln threw the paper ball to her and she caught it. Lynn immediately ran to her room.

Lori ran after her but Lincoln grabbed her leg, causing them both to hit the floor as Lynn shut the door. Lisa and the twins ran over them and tried opening the door only to find that it was locked.

"Allow me." Lana smirked and pulled out her locksmith tools and opened the door in no time.

The little sisters rushed in while Lori pushed herself up and angrily kicked Lincoln away into a coat hanger, which fell down and hit him on the head.

But as soon as she joined the others they found the room to be empty.

"Look!" Lana pointed to a rope made of tied together clothing which was tied to Lynn`s bed and hanging out the window.

The sisters peered over it and saw Lynn climbing down the wall.

"Sayonara, suckers!" Lynn mock saluted them as she was nearing the ground.

"She`s getting away!" Lola cried.

"From you three maybe." Lisa turned around while the others were still peering through the window.

She pulled out a small remote and pressed it, zapping her away from where she just stood a second ago.


Lynn reached the ground and bolted around the house and hid behind a tree. She made sure that the coast was clear when Lisa materialized behind her. Lynn turned to run only to jolt in fright upon meeting the genius.

"Lisa?!" she blurted. "What? How?"

"That`s not for you to ponder about." Lisa adjusted her glasses. "Now will you please let me examine that enigmatic document. Something that caused so much stir must yield very valuable information."

Lynn scowled. "Fat chance, now get lost!"

Lisa sighed.

"Alas, don't say I didn't use the diplomatic approach first. But now you`ve forced my hand." she pulled something out of her pocket.

Lynn sneered. "Oh yeah? And whatcha gonna do, tiny? Beat me up?"

"Entirely unnecessary." the toddler stated plainly and pointed her hypno ray at Lynn.

It shot a bright, enticing beam at the jock. Her pupils shrank before her eyes started swirling and she started moaning dumbly.

Lisa smiled deviously. "Now, will you politely hand over the paper to me?"

In a deep trance, Lynn nodded obediently. "Yes, I will give you the paper." she droned robotically and gave Lisa the crumbled up ball.

"Thank you." Lisa smiled. "Now...eh...go find a very big stick and give yourself a corporal spanking!" she ordered her.

Stretching her arms out like a zombie, Lynn walked away and droned, "Yes, I will spank myself. Must spank myself."

"Huh, I didn't honestly think it would work." Lisa looked at her little device proudly before opening up the letter. "Now let's see what secrets you're withholding-hey!"

Lola snatched the letter from her hand while Lana stuck a trash bin over the genius. Lisa`s muffled rants were ignored as the twins walked off.

"Finally, it's mine!" Lola smiled gleefully.

"Lemme see!" Lana leaned in only for Lola to jerk it back.

"Nah-ah! I grabbed it so it's mine!"

"Hey! No fair! I helped ya!"

Lola stuck her tongue out. "Who cares! I don't like sharing!"

"You selfish cow!" Lana angrily grabbed the paper and they started a tug of war.

"Stop it, you imbeciles! You'll tear it apart!"

The twins stopped and saw an angry, trash-covered Lisa pointing her ray at them.

"Beat it, egghead! We stole it fair and square!" Lana retorted.

"Return it to me, this instant! I stole it first!" Lisa growled.

"Or what?" Lola shot her a mocking sneer. "You`ll spray us with your weird-looking water pistol?"

"Actually, it's a hypnosis ray! It only works on undeveloped minds..." Lisa shot its beam at the twins. Their eyes turned swirly and their mouths hung open as they dropped the letter.

Smiling, Lisa picked it up. "Oh, and by the way, you two are chicken now!"

The twins crouched down, stuck their elbows out and started flapping, clucking and scrapping the ground with their feet.

Smirking with satisfaction, Lisa walked away only to bump into Lori.

"Ah, Lisa. You found the letter for me!" she smiled at her smarmily.

"Oh no!" Lisa objected. "If anyone deciphers the secrets from within this paper it will be me!"

"Don`t push your luck, brat!" Lori glowered.

"Don`t you push yours!" Lisa pointed her ray at her.

Lori gasped before narrowing her eyes."You wouldn't dare!"

The two circled around each other and Lisa slowly backed away towards the front door. "Try me!" Lisa warned her when suddenly, the door flung open and slammed Lisa against the wall and the paper flew up.

Still rubbing his sore head, Lincoln leaped out and locked eyes with Lori. "Where`s the paper! I`m warning you!" he stooped as the paper came floating down into his hand.

"Oh. That was easy." he noted in surprise.

Lori folded her arms. "Alright, twerp. You know there's no way you'll escape. So just spill the beans and we might not hurt you as badly as we planned."

Lincoln scowled and placed the paper in his pocket. "Sorry, but I can't. Someday you'll thank me for doing this."

"Whatever that paper holds must be really valuable if you're willing to risk your life like that." Lori noted with a hint of respect.

"I guess you could say it like that." Lincoln admitted grimly. "Too bad you'll never learn what it is."

Lori snarled and lunged at him. Acting quickly, Lincoln slipped through her legs and ran off. Looking over her shoulder, Lori saw him fleeing and turned around to chase after him.

But luck was on his side, as the hypnotized Lana came right into Lori`s path to dig and slurp up a worm. Lori tripped and crashed on top of her.

Groaning, Lana dragged herself from underneath Lori and shook her head. "Wut?... What happened? How`d I get here?" the bewildered tomboy looked around and saw Lola running by, acting like a chicken. Confused, Lana ran after her.

Getting up, Lori saw that Lincoln was gone and fumed silently. Right then Luna came back.

"Hey, dude. I`m back. Did I miss something?" she greeted her. Lori kept fuming.

"Ow. My head..." Leni groaned as she stumbled into the yard.

"Forget your head, Leni! We have to rally up and find Lincoln?"

"Huh? For what?" Luna asked cluelessly.

"Because he's been hiding a piece of paper from us! I don't know what it is, but given how insanely protective he`s of it it must be valuable!" Lori proclaimed as Lana dragged Lola back and slapped her a few times to wake her from her trance.

"Like a treasure map? Or a winning lottery ticket? Or some dead millionaires last will and inheritance!" Lori theorized. "Whatever it is we`re gonna track him down and find out! Let's go!" Lori ordered and stormed off, followed by Leni and the twins.

Luna was a bit hesitant to come along but then concluded, "You say it involves doe? I`m in!" she quickly followed.

Meanwhile, the front door moved back, revealing Lisa smashed into the wall, with her glasses broken and her hypno ray crushed. She let out a feeble groan before falling to the ground.


Having left the park, Ryan brought the now downbeat Luan to a cafe and bought her a smoothie.

"Want one? It's sure to smooth things over, get it?" he joked but got no response.

Sighing, he sat next to her. "C`mon now, Luan. Don't beat yourself up over it. It's no big whoop."

Luan slouched and rested her head in her hand. "Can`t, not after what I`ve done.

"Luan, you just made some mistakes, everyone does. You can easily fix that."

"How?"

"Easy, just say you're sorry and think about the consequences your future pranks might have better. Trust me, you do that and they'll forget about it in no time." Ryan reassured her.

"But that won't stop them from seeing me as just a talentless annoyance." she muttered in response. "A lot of folks do."

"Well, you can't make people like you if they don't, that's how it is." Ryan said poignantly. "At least with your family you know that at the end of the day they care about you even if you do get on their nerves."

"You sound like your talking from experience." Luan read between the lines.

Ryan sighed, debating with himself whether he should reveal so much about himself. He and Luan did have quite a bit in common when it came to their social lives.

"So do you. And I`m not talking about family here, am I?"

Luan grew nervous, figuring that he was starting to realize about her outcast status.

"Don't have a lot of friends, huh?" Ryan finally asked her. Luan shrank ashamedly.

"Am I that obvious?" she replied fearfully, worrying that he would laugh at her.

Ryan gave her an understanding smile. "Well sorta, I can tell you're not a social butterfly. I should know, I` didn't have much more luck in the friendship department either."

"What?" Luan rose up and stared at him sadly.

Ryan made a sardonic chuckle. "Don't be so surprised. You think kids like to be seen with a guy that looks like me?"

"You`re saying you were all alone in your old town without any friends?" she gave him a sympathetic look.

"Yup, never had a real friend back home. And you?"

Luan grimaced. "No..." she admitted miserably. "All the kids in my class make fun of me or avoid me, it was basically the same in elementary school too." It really hurt admitting that to someone. It made her feel pathetic and worthless. But Ryan kept giving her an understanding look.

"I know what's that like, there's little room for sympathy for the weird-looking ones."

"Did they call you names too?"

"Did they? Too many to count, I eventually grew tired of it and started punching out their milk teeth."

"You did?" Luan asked in surprise.

Ryan nodded. "Yep, it made me feel better turning the tables on them, but it didn't help my reputation in hindsight. I just went from plain freak to freak and bully and most started fearing me more than ever. In the end, I kind of led a hollow existence so I wasn't super-upset when we moved to Michigan."

"I always wanted to lash out at those who made of me, but I never had the strength or the courage to do it." Luan admitted sullenly.

"You shouldn't waste your time, it's a hollow joy at best." Ryan advised her.

"Ryan, I`m sorry you went through that. I know how that feels like. It really blows." Luan told him sympathetically.

"Yeah, but I don't like hanging on to the past, not when things are finally turning around for me..." Ryan finally smiled.

"... I had no reason to think this place would be any better than the last dump I lived in but then I met Lynn. For whatever reason, she gave me a chance and treated me like an actual human being, some of your little sisters like Lucy and Lana also seem to like me, and of course, there's you. All you guys seem a little kooky, so maybe I just fit in with your family."

"I guess that`s true." Luan finally perked up.

"See, you finally turned that frown upside down, you're not a screw-up, your one of the first real friends I made, we weirdos gotta stick together." Ryan told her encouragingly.

"And you're not technically friendless either."

Smiling brightly, Luan pulled him into a tight embrace, making him blush. "Thanks, Ryan. You're the best!"

"Hey, no problem." he replied patting her back.

Luan moved back and planted another kiss on his cheek, making him feel giddy and light-headed again.

"And by the way, I think you're really cute, in your own quirky way." Luan said sweetly.

Ryan gave a cheeky smirk. "Well, I always liked to think that I`m my own kind of beautiful."

Right then, his walkie-talkie started buzzing. Ryan groaned inwardly.

"Scuse me for a second, I have to visit the little boys`room." he told Luan and rushed to the bathroom.


Lincoln was hiding behind a dumpster, his walkie-talkie shaking in his grasp.

Where was Lynn? Did they do something to her? He couldn't risk searching for her, not while he was carrying dangerous data and the rest of his sisters were hot on his trail. There was only one other person he could turn to now, as much as he hated it.

"Come on. Pick up!" he grumbled fearfully.

"What is it now, snowflake?" Ryan`s deadpan voice finally came.

Lincoln swallowed his pride. "Taylor, I need your help, now!"

"Can`t do. Can't leave my lovely date with the check." came Ryan`s snide response.

"Forget about her! We found the letter!"

"Well congrats, pipsqueak. Only took ya, what? Over ten hours to do it."

"This isn't a joke, you idiot! My sisters found out and now they're following me. I can't evade them for long. You have to meet me at the park."

There was a brief silence. "And where's Lynn?"

Lincoln`s brow furrowed. "I don't know. She disappeared while trying to take the letter away from them. I found it and took it, but I don't know about her."

There was a longer silence. "...I`ll be there." with that, Ryan ended the call. Lincoln could only hope that he was being serious.

"You have his scent, don't ya?" he suddenly heard Lola`s voice in the distance and bolted away.

A minute later, Lana arrived on the scene on all fours sniffing the ground and pointed north like a hunting dog.

Lola quickly joined her and rubbed her hands sinisterly. "We got him now!"


Luan waited patiently for her date to return. He finally came back but looked rather skittish.

"Luan, I`m very sorry to cut this date short but I just received a call about a family emergency. I`m afraid I`ll have to go."

"Oh." Luan frowned with disappointment. "I...I understand. I know all about family emergencies."

"Thanks for understanding." Ryan started backing away. "I had a great time by the way."

"Me too. I`ll see you soon, right?" she replied hopefully.

"Sure you will. I can't wait to hang out again. See ya soon!" Ryan waved goodbye and darted out of the cafe.

Luan looked on dreamily. "What a guy! I think I`m in love."


Lincoln quickly arrived at the park. It was full of people strolling through it and enjoying the beautiful, sunny day.

Lincoln rushed to the cover of the trees. Much to his dread, he quickly spotted his sisters entering the park. He ran deeper into the small forest, trying to find the local lake.

But he had to do it while evading his sisters. He tried to move deeper into the forest.

Searching through the bushes, Lana eventually found some white hair snagged in a branch.

"Guys! Look what I`ve found!" she showed it to the others.

"He`s here." Lori proclaimed before clapping her hands. "Alright, everyone! Split up and flush him out! He`s a sitting duck now!" she ordered the others and the girls dispersed.

Hearing that, Lincoln`s heart started racing and he frantically looked for the lake until he spotted a path through the woods leading towards something blue.

There it was! Sucking up all his courage, Lincoln braced himself and made a beeline towards it. The blue lake came closer and closer.

But suddenly, Lori, Leni and Luna jumped in his way, making him halt in his tracks.

"Not so fast, buster!" the oldest sister exclaimed putting her hands on her hips.

Then, a spinning, wooden stick was flung at Leni and hit her in the leg, knocking her off balance and knocking Lori and Luna down like dominos as well.

Wearing a backpack and a rope over his shoulder, Ryan leaped out of the bushes.

"Sorry! Coming through! Excuse me!" he quipped while landing on and digging his heal into every individual sisters` back before grabbing Lincoln with one arm and diving back into the bushes.

Hidden in the undergrowth, Lincoln was soon thrown to the ground and Ryan appeared over him.

"Sorry for being tardy. I had to pick up a few necessities." Ryan said smarmily.

"Th...thanks...for saving me." Lincoln replied begrudgingly.

"Don`t get sentimental now, pipsqueak." Ryan smirked. "You just dunk the letter into the lake, I`ll take care of the bimbo squad." he proudly pointed at himself.

"Oh, and if you get into a pickle, take this!" he tossed Lincoln a little bag of tricks before proceeding to leave.

"Just don't hurt them, alright!" Lincoln called after him.

Ryan looked over his shoulder and smirked cheekily. "No promises."


"Can you believe the nerve of that selfish jerk! Keeping something to himself and not wanting to share it with his beloved sisters! Disgusting!" Lola lamented as she and Lana searched the forest.

"Sounds like something you would do." Lana commented offhandedly.

"Not it's not! I always share!" the princess snapped at her twin.

"Liar, liar, pants on fire!" Lana argued back.

They immediately got into another one of their classic squabbles before suddenly noticing a dark shadow looming over them.

They looked up, only to see a potato sack being thrown over them before everything went black.

Ryan hoisted the squirming and screaming sack up and tied its opening into a knot.

"Ughh...that whiny little prima donna needed to be sacked." he quipped before his smirk faltered. "Eh...sorry about this, Lana."


Lincoln rushed towards the lake but had to hide behind a tree as Luna passed by.

Once she was out of sight, Lincoln peaked to survey his surroundings before moving on.

"There you are, Linky!" the boy jumped as the always perky Leni appeared out of nowhere. Sweating, Lincoln backed away.

"Say, could you please remind me why we chased you here?" she asked politely. "It sorta slipped my mind after noticing how crystal clear and beautiful the sky was today."

Lincoln sighed. "I`m sorry, Leni." he apologized in advance before digging into his bag and throwing a fake spider at her.

Leni screeched and ran away blindly.

Lincoln cringed as she ran into a tree and knocked herself out cold.


"Lincoln, will you show yourself, dude!" Luna shouted for her brother. "C`mon, don't be such a greedy buzzkill!"

"Oh dear, oh dear. What do I do? What do I do?" she heard a nasally voice and spotted Lincoln`s snowy head and bright orange t-shirt as he awkwardly waddled through a grove of trees.

Scowling, Luna ran after him and grabbed his shoulder to stop him. "Alright, enough games, bra."

The boy turned around to reveal himself as Ryan in a white wig. "SIKES!" he exclaimed with a crooked grin.

Luna screamed in terror as Ryan grabbed her and pulled her into a patch of bushes.

"What are you doing!? What's the big idea?!" Luna protested as she suddenly found herself lying on her belly tied up.

Ryan kneeled down and patted her head. "Nothing personal, sweetheart. I`m just doing my job." he answered coolly before swiftly leaving her behind.

"Hey! Come back! This is so not cool, dude!" the squirming rocker yelled after him, but to no avail.


Lincoln finally stepped out of the forest and onto the grassy field in front of the lake.

"I made it!" he exclaimed happily when someone grabbed his arm. He looked back before freezing with horror. "Lori!"

Steaming mad, Lori almost crushed his arm in her grasp. "I`m like so sick and tired of chasing after you!" she ranted madly.

"You`ll show me what's on that paper, or I'll-"

"You guys don't even know what it is, and yet you chased the poor sap all the way here?" a third voice joined the party as Ryan stepped into the open.

"Someone desperately needs a hobby." he smirked mockingly.

"You..." Lori addressed him venomously.

"Ah, so you remember me!" Ryan gushed with mock-flattery. "I`m touched."

"You miserable, little shit stain!" Lori gritted her teeth. "You attacked us and walked all over me!"

"Wowzie! Nothing gets by you, does it, Blondy?" Ryan quipped nonchalantly.

Growling, Lori let go of Lincoln and stormed towards Ryan.

Lincoln used the distraction to run to the lake`s shore and threw the crumpled up letter into the water. It opened up and started slowly falling apart as it sank below the surface.

Lori grabbed Ryan by his shirt and hoisted him up. "Wow, easy there, tutz. The shirt`s cotton." he quipped nonchalantly.

Lori growled. "You know what I'm gonna do to you now?!"

"Get spit all over my face?" Ryan answered with a look of mirth and wiped his face.

"You're dead meat! You hear me? Dead!"

"Sounds like a hoot, Laura." Ryan yawned. "But first, lemme show you a trick."

Ryan wrapped his arm around her head and pulled Lori`s face into his armpit. Lori`s eyes teared up as the rancid smell burned through her nasal cavities.

Lori screamed and let him drop. "That smell?" she clutched her throat while gasping and gagging uncontrollably. "Oh god!" she uttered in a strained voice while her face turned green before collapsing.

"Weak." Ryan noted mockingly as he stood up and put his hands on his hips. "Renee would barely have been stunned by this."

Lincoln joined him, staring at Lori`s unconscious form in disbelief.

"Take note, pipsqueak." Ryan told him jubilantly. "Not caring about personal hygiene has lots of perks.

Then he looked at the audience. "And knowing is half the battle."


"Ow...ow...ow...ow..." Lynn uttered monotonously while hitting her behind with a stick repeatedly.

Once they found her, the boys exchanged weirded out glances.

"Lynn? Lynn! What on earth are you doing?" Lincoln asked her worriedly.

"Ow...ow...ow...ow..." Lynn didn't respond.

"Taylor, what`s wrong with her?" Lincoln started to panic.

"Hmmm..." Ryan rubbed his chin and waved his hand in front of her face "...swirly eyes, drolling at the mouth, robotic monotone, self-inflicted humiliation. Yep, definitely hypnotized." he deduced.

He turned to Lincoln. "Eh...how exactly did one of your sisters learn hypnosis?"

"I dunno, can we wake her up?"

"Oh, that's easy." Ryan replied coolly and snapped his fingers a few times in front of Lynn`s face. She blinked and her eyes returned to normal.

"So what will you do, Lisa, huh?" she said cockily before realizing she wasn`t facing the little genius anymore.

"Wut? Were am I...owwww!" her rear felt like it had been assaulted by an army of fire ants, forcing her to rub it and she noted the stick in her other hand.

"Lisa, of course..." Lincoln deadpanned and added her on his to-do list. "Teach Lisa that using a hypno ray on other people is not a nice thing."

"Lincoln? Ryan? What happened? Why`s butt hearting so much."

"It seems one of your sisters hypnotized you and made you spank yourself. Somehow?" Ryan shrugged.

"What..." Lynn was outraged before narrowing her eyes and blushing with embarrassment. "Lisa...that conniving, little rat!"

Lincoln sighed. "I`m sorry about this, Lynn. But on the upside, we did get rid of the letter and miraculously there was no collateral damage, and I don't think mom and dad ever even noticed anything."

Lynn glanced at him and exhaled dejectedly. "So that crap is finally over?"

Lincoln nodded. Lynn pinched her nose. "Ughh... I guess a win for our team is a win regardless of how we achieved it." she concluded miserably.

"That`s the spirit, Lynn. And for an added bonus, I got Luan to seriously reconsider how to handle her little hobby. So I`d say this was a success."

Lynn looked at Ryan with annoyance. "Oh...and how was your...uggh..."date" with Luan. Pretty annoying, huh?"

"Actually no." Ryan replied pleasantly. "I actually had fun, and it felt kind of good comforting her about her problems. I actually think we kind of became a lot closer."

Lynn felt like a brewing volcano on the inside. "Glad you had fun." she replied through clenched teeth, barely concealing her rage.

"Yeah, looks like I really lucked out on this mission." he gave her a sympathetic glance. "Sorry, you guys didn't have such a good time, but hey, no pain no gain. That's what you always say, Lynn."

"Yeah, I do." Lynn deflated.

"Doesn't mean you practice what you preach though."

The kids jolted upon hearing the strange voice. They looked up to find Lucy hanging upside down from a tree branch with a flock of bats, her hair hanging down to reveal her bloodshot eyes.

"Lucy? What are you doing?" Lincoln spoke up.

"Just hanging out with friends." the goth replied stoically before climbing down the tree. "By the way, what were you talking about a mission?"

They all froze, but thinking quickly, Lincoln thought of a way to throw Lucy off tracks. And he could be mostly honest with her to boot.

"Well, I guess I can trust you. Remember that meeting we had yesterday?"

"What are you doing?" Lynn asked him.

"Yes?" Lucy sounded intrigued.

"Well, we found out that dad had left a fake treasure map in the attic as a practical joke, but I knew our sisters would tear the house apart looking for it. And given all the anarchy and madness yesterday, and the misunderstanding, I thought mom and dad deserved a day of rest after that. So the three of us distracted the others while looking for the letter."

"Misunderstanding? So you're saying dad didn't sell us out?" the goth inquired.

"Not at all. I got the confirmation from Luan herself. She was pretty adamant about "not needing no assistance"." Ryan confirmed. Both Lynn and Lucy felt relieved after hearing that.

"Yeah, and I`m sorry for not telling you, Luce. But we didn't want to burden you with such a task." Lincoln explained.

"Oh...eh thanks." Lucy replied with uncertainty. She still felt angry for being left out, but she supposed Lincoln had her best interest at heart.

"Say, how long have you been up in that tree?" Lynn asked her suspiciously.

"All day long, saw you being under a spell and smacking your own behind." Lucy confirmed.

"What?" Lynn looked outraged. "Why the hell didn't you wake me up?!"

The goth grew a small, sheepish smile. "I found it amusing." she admitted. Lynn growled.

"So, kiddo?" Ryan cut in. "How did you hang out with those bats all day long with all the blood rushing to your head? That's pretty impressive."

Lynn`s jaw dropped while Lucy smiled. "Thanks, I had years of practice. I usually watch my favorite show like that."

"You have an interesting way of doing everyday stuff. Cool." he replied.

"Thanks." the goth smiled.

Lynn rolled her eyes.


"You should have seen it, his head nearly exploded while thanking me."

"I still don't understand why you two can't get along." Lynn rolled her eyes.

Ryan smirked. "I dunno, why can't you and Lucy get along?"

"That`s different, Lucy`s an annoying weirdo." Lynn retorted.

"I don't see it, I like her, and you like me don't ya? Doesn't really make sense."

"So what, I get along with you and with Lincoln. But why can't you two get along?"

Ryan shrugged. "To each their own, one man`s nuisance is another man`s friend I suppose. What do you say, Mars?" he asked the cat. The cat meowed.

"Ah, I can translate that. She said that the pipsqueak should stop prancing around in a unitard and cape."

Lynn sneered. "I dunno, to me it sounded more like "my master should keep his yap shut more often"."

"Well, I suppose neither of us is fluent in feline." Ryan replied amusingly before noticing that they had arrived at his home.

"Ah, home sweet home." Ryan opened the gate and let Marceline in.

He turned to his friend. "So, wanna come in? We can still hang out."

"No thanks. I`m pooped and my behind is still sore." Lynn denied his request.

"Oh, don't be a sore winner, Lynn. We were successful today..." Ryan tried to lift her spirit only to receive a glare.

He chuckled nervously. "That was a joke. Just a joke." he apologized.

"I know." she sighed. "But I think I should take some rest. The last two days have been a wild ride and who knows what Linc will have us do tomorrow. Even I need downtime."

"I gotcha ya." Ryan shrugged understandably. "Guess I forgot that not all of us spent the day at an amusement park."

Upon mentioning that, Lynn was once again faced with a question that had been nagging her all day long.

"Speaking of that..." she started awkwardly "...how was Luan acting while you were there? Was she embarrassing you?"

"Not really. She was acting pretty normal if a bit shy. And she dolled herself up a lot, so if anything having me for her date was embarrassing to her."

Lynn crossed her arms and snorted. "Well, if you spent the whole "date" spewing cheesy lines to her as you did at school then I suppose you're right."

"Cheesy maybe. But effective nonetheless. We hit it off pretty quickly and I had no idea Luan could be such a flirt."

"Her? A flirt?" Lynn snickered.

"I ain't kidding ya. Didn't wanna say it in front of Linky so he wouldn't lose his head, but once Luan grew comfortable with me she stopped being shy very quickly."

Lynn didn't like the sound of that. "What do you mean?"

"She was clinging on to me all day long, she even tried to kiss me twice, very persistently at that." Ryan revealed to her.

Lynn felt like a boulder had crushed her. "W-What?"

"I was as surprised as you, but I wasn't so easily persuaded. So I only allowed her a peck or two on the cheek." Ryan boasted, of course not telling her how he barely avoided that temptation.

Hearing the rest made Lynn feel more at ease, but hearing that her sister got so touchy-feely with Ryan and was goading him to make out with her made her sick and enraged. She felt like twisting Luan`s scrawny neck and fix her overbite with a good ol`knuckle sandwich.

"You okay?"

"What?"

Ryan looked at her oddly. "You kind of fazed out for a second."

An embarrassed Lynn scowled and punched him in the shoulder hard. "I`m fine. Don't get so worked up, nana." she said curtly.

Rubbing his shoulder, Ryan smirked at her. "Yep, you're definitely alright." he concluded. Punching people was her way of showing she was happy.

Except she wasn't.

She felt confused, flustered and angry and she couldn't fully understand why.

All she knew was that the more she heard about Ryan`s interaction with her sister the worse those conflicting emotions got. The stronger they got the more unfocused and irrational she got.

She had been feeling like that all day, and couldn't ignore it anymore.

For once, she felt uncomfortable with Ryan and wanted to be far away from, and even that she couldn't fathom why when her friend had done nothing to anger her.

Lynn looked at him. "I`m sorry, but...I gotta go." Lynn punched his arm playfully and quickly left. "See ya around!"

"Sure, see ya!" Ryan waved goodbye.

Lynn left his neighborhood as far as possible, feeling embarrassed for acting stupid for no reason.

What was going on with her lately? Why was she feeling angry at Ryan of all people? And he had been fooling Luan, it wasn't his fault she turned out to be so clingy and creepy. Slowly a certain thought started resurfacing in her mind, one that until now she had adamantly refused to even consider.

"That`s ridiculous!" she was quick to ignore it and tucked her hands into her pockets as she walked back home in a surly mood.


You gotta be pretty crazy to chase someone around for a piece of paper under the rash assumptions that it might yield some kind of valuable information, but that's the Loud sisters for you.

The fake treasure of DeMonet fiasco has been dealt with, but there will be other hurdles to overcome. And of course, the looming threat of "the incident".