"Come in, Gar." Her voice invited him as the door slid open.
The changeling hesitated, prevaricating before entering, his feet feeling as if they were made of lead and were glued to the floor. He knew well that this wasn't Raven's room, but the realism was simply overwhelming, as every nuance was present, down to Raven's aroma of jasmine and lavender. He had only been in her room on a handful of occasions, so few that he could remember each incursion. Even during the brief period when they unofficially dated each other he only entered a handful of times and he had not set foot in the sorceress's abode since he left the Titans over 13 years ago.
"It's OK, Gar, please come in. You are welcome here."
Hearing her voice sent a shiver down his spine. He still had the nightmarish image of her pale, lifeless face in his mind. Even though he knew well that it wasn't really her, he felt joy and exhilaration tingling throughout his body. His feet became unglued and stomping like Frankenstein's monster he entered the room.
Raven's room was essentially unchanged, at least as far as he remembered it. The bookcases were still loaded with dusty and ancient looking tomes, and also had mysterious figurines and objects peppered on the shelves. Strange and grotesque masks hung from the walls, staring at him as he entered. The curtains were closed and the room was lit in the amber glow of dozens of candles of all shapes and sizes and they cast strange shadows, which danced on the walls like furtive demons.
Raven was in the middle of the room, waiting for him to approach. But she wasn't the way he remembered her as of late. Her violet hair was short, in her old A-line bob. Her white ensemble was also gone and instead she was wearing the black leotard and blue cape, which she had abandoned over 10 years ago.
The two separated friends came together and shared a hug. That was when he noticed one more difference, she was also slightly shorter. Without releasing her, he spoke.
"Raven, why are you a teenager in here?"
She released him from her embrace. She cupped his face with her palm.
"This is how I want you to remember me."
He shook his head. "What? I don't get it, why?"
She took his hand and guided him to her bed, beckoning him to sit down on its edge. This surprised him, as she didn't allow anyone to sit on her bed. He still remembered the chewing out he received when he tried that once many years ago.
"Gar, since you are here, I presume that I died in the real world."
He sighed. "Yeah, you did."
"How is the team handling my passing?"
"I'd hardly call it passing. You were murdered in cold blood."
She gave his hand a gentle squeeze.
"I see, so they didn't take it well."
"No, that would be an understatement … "
He hesitated.
"Raven … you seem so … real."
"That's because there is a little of Raven in me."
"Yeah, I know, Melissa already explained it to me. You're an imprint, a snap shot of Raven's mind."
"Not entirely accurate, but close enough … anyway … I knew that my death, should it be untimely, would be a violent death. Did you see my body?"
He nodded. "Yeah, I did … I won't sugar coat it, it was pretty gruesome."
"I see. That's why I chose to present myself to you in this form. I don't want you to remember me dead in a morgue, so I chose the form I had when we … were close."
"Raven, we were always close."
"I know Gar, it's just that this was the best time of my life, when we …"
"When we dated." He completed the sentence for her.
She nodded.
"Isn't it sad, Gar? I could only bring myself to admit this to you after I died. We … dated … however briefly, we were a couple."
He lifted his arm and wrapped it over her shoulder.
"Rave, why didn't you ever tell me that you loved me?"
The imprint tensed up upon hearing the remark.
"I see Starfire didn't keep her mouth shut."
He frowned at her.
"Don't blame her, she only told me after you died. You might be an imprint, but you're just as evasive as Raven ever was. I guess you really are Raven."
Raven released his hand, and sighed.
"Do you even need to ask why?"
"Yeah, I do."
"She raised her hand, gesturing at her room."
"Garfield, look around you. Is this the room of a girl you want to spend your life with?"
"It's just a room …"
She shook her head.
"Gar, I need to ask you to forgive me. We never should have gone out together. I … it happened because of something Dick told me after we defeated my father. He said that I was the most hopeful person he ever met. When I heard that, and knowing that my father was gone, I thought I could start over, with a clean slate. I even told Robin that there were always new beginnings … that must have sounded so sappy. But for a while I thought things were actually changing for me … but I was wrong."
"What do you mean?"
Raven, who looked clearly distressed, stood up and began to pace around the room.
"Raven, what's wrong?"
She stopped her pacing and turned to face him. She was biting her lower lip.
"Gar, since the day we met I've had a crush on you. Because of who I am I kept that to myself. I did let my feelings for you slip out once in a while, but my outward behavior convinced everyone that I hated you, and it worked as it kept you away from me. But my feelings only grew over time, and they became harder and harder to suppress, it got to the point where it literally hurt."
She sighed.
"When Terra first appeared and you fell in love with her I was heartbroken. But I was also relieved, as I knew that I could give up on you as I had no chance whatsoever against her. Still, it wasn't easy and in the end it was once of the reasons I despised her back then. Every time I saw her bubbly blond face, with you hopelessly in love with her … I became angry, angry that I was a creepy witch and that the boy I loved was in love with her."
Raven paused and rubbed her forehead.
"Then we lost her and I was torn. I knew my father was coming, and I was so tempted to throw caution to the wind and confess to you. But you have to understand what I was going through. After treating you so badly, after being so mean to you, I figured it was pointless, you had to hate me because of how I treated you. Then … Malchior showed up."
She paused and heaved a huge sigh.
"What a fool I was, what a pathetic, love sick loser. What could have possibly made me think that a mature wizard could possibly be romantically interested in a teenager? Had he really been who he said he was he would have given me a lollypop and patted me on the head."
"You were lonely, Rave, no one blames you for what happened. He was really slick, even when I spied on you guys he fooled me."
She shook her head.
"I almost got all of you killed because I was a stupid, lonely girl. And then the fates rubbed my stupidity in my face when you came to cheer me up … Gar … I came within an inch of telling you I loved you."
"And Cyborg ruined the moment when he clobbered me with the stupid stankball."
She shook her head.
"No, it wouldn't have happened, I didn't have the nerve, and I was worried about my emotions, afraid that I would lose control of them. But it was the closest I ever came, until we started going out together."
He looked up and made eye contact with her.
"Those were good times, Rave."
"All we did was hang out together. We never even kissed."
"It was still good."
She nodded.
"It was. But I still knew that it was doomed to failure, so I held back."
She sniffled.
"Gar, I wish it could have been different, I wish I could have been different. I wanted us to be together. I wanted to share myself with you. I wanted … to be your wife … to have children with you … but it wasn't meant to be."
"You mean Terra?"
She nodded.
"She was the one for you, the one you were destined to be with, and don't deny it. You have a solid marriage with her and a wonderful family. I couldn't have given either of those to you. And you deserved to have children who weren't demons."
"Don't say that, Raven."
"It's true and you know it. They would have been Trigon's grandchildren. There's no guarantee that they wouldn't have followed him. And that's why I quietly stepped out of the way when Terra came back. It wasn't easy, believe me. When you impregnated her and announced your marriage, I had to recluse myself, it was so painful. But it was the right thing to do."
A dead silence hung in the air.
"Raven … I'm sorry … I wish it could have been different. You knew that I love you, right?"
"I did, but … I wish I could have heard you tell me that yourself."
He sniffled.
"Yeah, it's too late now. Raven … the real Raven … she won't get to hear me. Or can she?"
She shook her head.
"Contacting the spirit world is difficult; I tried myself many times, but never succeeded. But I will be waiting for you in the afterlife. When you arrive, you can tell me then."
He chuckled half heartedly. "What about Terra? She might get jealous."
Raven smiled. "We'll have to share you."
Gar stood up and hugged Raven's image.
"So what do we do now?" He asked.
Raven released him and looked him in the eyes. She looked sorrowful.
"We say goodbye, Gar."
"What, you mean this is it?"
She nodded.
"Yes, I don't want you to linger here with my ghost. I just wanted you to see me one last time and to know that I love you with my heart, body and soul."
"But why can't I come back to visit?"
"Because there is no point in returning, Gar. I'm just an imprint. We can't have a real relationship because I'm not real. Raven understood this all too well, and that's why I'm going to erase myself after you leave. Plus you have a real life to live out there."
"What? You're going to destroy yourself? Why? Melissa said that she'll be visiting with you for a long time."
"I know very little about the other imprint that was left for Melissa. But do understand that Raven had a different relationship with her than she did with you. That's why we have to say goodbye."
An uncomfortable silence followed.
"Dammit! We should have told each other."
"Gar, please don't dwell on this. I just wanted you to know the truth."
Garfield grabbed Raven by the shoulders and pulled her towards him. He planted his lips on hers. She did not resist and returned his kiss, which evolved into a heavy make out session. Their hands became uninhibited and they lovingly caressed each other. After a blissful eternity they separated. Gar turned to the bed and looked at it.
"I suppose that would be a bad idea." He murmured to her.
"It would be a very bad idea. We shouldn't have done this at all … but … I have no regrets."
"Neither do I."
He took her hands.
"It's time for me to leave, isn't it?"
"I'm afraid so, Gar."
"I love you, Raven."
"And I will always love you."
He swallowed hard.
"So this is it then … goodbye."
"Goodbye, Gar. We will be together again, I promise."
Garfield jerked and found that he was alone in his bedroom, sitting on a recliner. Terra was in bed, asleep with a book on her chest. He sat still in the chair, looking around their bedroom. He had no recollection of being moved here from Melissa's room. The alarm clock on his nightstand showed that it was 2:47 AM.
He still had the meditation mirror in his right hand. The imprint that Raven left behind for him was now gone, lost forever. He began to weep silently, having lost her a second time tore at his very soul. He pulled himself together but remained in the chair, feeling as if the very life had been sucked out of him. After several minutes Terra rustled.
"BB?" She asked sleepily. "Are you back?"
He nodded. "I'm back."
"Are you OK? You've been gone for hours."
"Sorry, I guess I lost track of time. I'm feeling pretty tired."
"Then come to bed."
"Yeah, sure."
He stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed. Terra snuggled up and wrapped her arms around him.
"She's gone Terra, we said our goodbyes."
"Will you be alright?"
He smiled at her.
"I will be … Terra?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
Terra kissed her husband and turned off the light.
THE END
I know that the end of this story was predictable and anticlimactic. I apologize for that. Sometimes when you swing, you miss.
