The Wolf You Feed

Chapter 88

When she open fired on the saviors in their compound, Nokake expected to die. She was sure they would kill her. Instead she was taken prisoner. She was taken alive. A fate far worse than death. She twisted her arms, testing the rope that held her wrists together behind her back. The binds were tight. Even if she tucked her thumbs into her palm and pulled, she wasn't going to be able to escape her bonds. And even if she could get free of the rope, she was locked in a cell.

The small room was dark. When the door swung open unexpectedly, the light from the hallway outside momentarily blinded her. Nokake blinked her eyes until they adjusted to the light. A man was standing in the doorway, staring down at her. He asked her if she needed anything. Nokake didn't like the way the man was looking at her. But her throat was painfully dry and her tongue felt like it was made out of sandpaper.

"Water?," she croaked.

The man seemed to expect her request. Because he knelt down and grabbed a bottle of water from the floor near the doorway. Twisting off the cap, he leaned forward with it. Nokake parted her lips. The man shoved the bottle inside her mouth, dumping the contents forcefully down her throat. She gagged and sputtered, spitting water down her front.

"Uh oh," the man grinned, "you got water on your shirt."

With that he leaned forward and ripped the front of her tank top open, baring her breasts. Nokake leaned back away from the man. When he moved towards her again, she lurched forward and slammed her forehead into his face. She felt a satisfying crunch. The man hollered and held his hands to his face, blood running down out of his broken nose.

The man lurched forward again, angrier now than he had been before. His hands closed down around her throat. She felt a moment of calm wash over her, hoping that the man was so angry he might kill her instead of raping her. She would rather die than lay down with this stinking wendigo. But before he could cut off her air supply, the man was yanked roughly back and away from her.

"Were you trying to rape this woman?"

The light was shining into the dark room from behind the man. Making him no more than a tall hulking silhouette to Nokake. But even without seeing his face, she knew who he was. Negan. She was confused as to why the man was helping her. But Nokake stayed quiet while he killed the man that was trying to force himself on her only moments before. If these crazy wendigo wanted to kill each other, Nokake wasn't going to stop them.

Now that the first man was dead, Nokake assumed that Negan, the larger and stronger of the two, would come into her cell and finish what his subordinate started. She assumed he would rape her. The man surprised her when he knelt down and cut through the rope that was holding her wrists together instead. He didn't threaten her. Or hurt her. Instead he spoke to her, trying to convince Nokake to join his army. As if she would ever even consider such a thing. She might consider pretending to join. To gain her freedom from this tiny cell. But even that was a stretch. Negan didn't demand an answer. He just gave Nokake his offer and left her alone in the dark with her thoughts.

It didn't take long before Nokake lost track of time. She drifted in and out of consciousness, riding the edge between dreams and her memories. She thought about her son. Her strong, brave boy. She worried who would care for him now that she was gone. She pictured what he might look like as a young man. In her mind, she envisioned a taller version of her older brother. What he looked like when he was still strong and proud. Before he became addicted to drugs and gambling at the casino. Her son was stronger than that. And his father would make sure he knew how to thrive in this new world. Grey Wolf was many things. But above all he was a survivor.

When the door opened again, Nokake shielded her eyes against the light. She expected to see Negan again. Or another one of his rapist henchmen. When she felt Rowan's arms wrap around her, she thought she must be lost in a dream.

"Hekaza," Nokake whispered, "you're here."

Rowan held her tight, her tears raining down over them both. Nokake could feel the hard swell of Rowan's stomach against her, much larger now than the day she was taken. Under the flat press of her palm, Nokake could feel the movement of new life inside.

"Have you come to set me free?," Nokake asked. Rowan shook her head. The entire place was on lockdown after the attack. And since Negan knew one of her family members was behind it, he was having her watched even more closely than before. Not only could she not set Nokake free, she couldn't even speak freely to her with the two guards standing behind her in the hallway.

"I brought you some water and a pillow," Rowan said. She grabbed the items, pushing them towards Nokake. Rowan felt helpless and useless. She knew Nokake wasn't going to be willing to play along with Negan like Eugene and Olivia were doing. That wasn't her way.

"I don't need a pillow," Nokake whispered, "I need okablaya. My freedom. If I can't have that, I want ozuye wichata."

Rowan sucked in her breath. Nokake didn't need to translate the last part. All the wolves knew the words for a warrior's death. It's what they prayed for in lue of a victory. To be captured or die slowly from a wound was a fate worse than death.

"I'm sleeping on a pillow and I'm still alive," Rowan responded. She knew they weren't talking about a pillow anymore. But about living as a sheep in the den of lions.

"You've taken that wendigo to bed," Nokake said, spitting the words at her. "I won't." Rowan could feel the tears spilling down her cheeks.

"I didn't have a choice," she insisted, knowing it was a lie. Daryl had a choice. When those horse killer women took him captive. He chose to die rather than lay down with them. Rowan could have done the same. But she was too afraid. Too weak. Thinking about it made her sick.

"There's always a choice," Nokake told her. "You can choose to help me now."

Rowan didn't answer. She got up and slammed the door shut. Nokake could hear her sandaled feet, slapping against the concrete floor as she ran from the room. And from her. But Nokake knew the woman would be back. And when she came back, she would be ready.

Nokake wasn't sure how long she had been inside the tiny cell. There was no natural light to gauge the passing of time. But by the time Rowan came back, she knew she slept twice. She didn't hear the woman. And Rowan didn't open the cell door this time. But Nokake could feel her presence nearby, with only the thin metal slab of the door between them.

"The battle is coming," Rowan whispered, her voice so low and mournful that Nokake could barely hear her. "He's going to use you to get to them. There's a coffin outside. He's going to put you in it. I can't stop him. I'm sorry."

For a moment, Nokake thought that Rowan was done. That all she came to do was give her a warning. But then she whispered the words. Ozuye Wichata. A warrior's death. It's what Nokake asked her for. And though Rowan might want to, it wasn't her place to deny it to anyone. A small pouch slid under the door. Nokake picked it up and carefully opened the small bundle. The moment she smelled the musty urine-like odor she knew exactly what Hekaza had given her. Hemlock. Enough to kill her if she chose to take it.

"I love you," Rowan whispered through the door.

Nokake rose to her feet. She placed her palm on the door. Rowan was doing the same. Their palms pressed together, their aura's combining even with the metal of the door separating them. Nokake felt it. The sudden rush of powerful energy. Rowan was stronger than she realized. She always was. Her father knew it all along.

"Take care of him for me," Nokake whispered, blinking back the tears in her eyes. She knew she didn't have to ask. Wolves took care of their own. Her son would be safe and loved in Rowan's arms.

"Always," Rowan whispered back.

She could see the aura around her hand shifting. Nokake's vibrant purple mixing with her own paler violet. Then they spoke the words together.

"When I run let me run like a deer,

When I hide let me hide like a fox,

When I strike let me strike like a rattlesnake,

And when we fight let us fight together as wolves."