An hour ago…..
"Gone! Her trail has gone cold!" Renee lamented as she and Lynn found themselves at an intersection in the middle of town, currently waiting out the ridiculous traffic. They had been following Lana's muddy footprints on the concrete but they soon disappeared, as Lana undoubtedly went towards higher elevations to move around. They kept searching regardless but found no further signs of her presence.
Lynn would have been more annoyed by her partner's complaining if her annoyance wasn't overshadowed by her concern for her little sister. For all they knew, Lana might have slipped and fallen off a high place and was currently lying somewhere with a broken leg, or worse. If she ever found the scum-sucking piece of shit who fed her that laced chocolate bar she would kill them!
"Where do you think she might have run off to?" Renee's question snapped her out of her thoughts.
"Oh, so my opinion matters now?" Lynn scoffed in return.
"As her "favorite sister", as you insist you are, I would expect you to be familiar with her passions and hobbies." Renee continued, not going into another petty argument. "So what do you think is the most likely place she would have gone to?"
"How am I supposed to know? I don't catalog every mud hole in town? Or every place that has cute, fuzzy animals-"
"Your incompetence is unbelievable." Renee facepalmed.
"What?" Lynn scowled.
"You had one simple task, so simple even a toddler could follow it, and yet you botched it when victory was literally within your grasp."
"I did everything you told me to!" Lynn snapped. "I followed your dumb "jump into the mud and grab Lana" plan to a T! What about you? You couldn't catch her either when she was within your grasp, you egotistical cunt!"
"Swearing? The crutch of the linguistically challenged." Renee scoffed. "And here I was hoping for a semi-intelligent-"
"Oh, no! You're not getting out of this! You're not pinning the blame on me for your shortcomings!"
Suddenly, Renee's phone rang. She picked it up and frowned even more upon seeing that this wasn't Lincoln.
"Who is this?" she picked up the call. "What? How did you…."
"Who are you talking-"Renee lifted her finger to silence Lynn.
"That's not your concern." Renee said harshly while giving Lynn a side glance. "Go and meet up with the others and find those chained idiots, they're heading to that SMOSH concert. Goodbye." With that, she hung up.
"Who was that?"
"Nobody important." Renee insisted dismissively as she saw the green pedestrian light and told Lynn to move it.
"It was Ryan, wasn't it?" Lynn followed her onto the street, her pulse racing with anger. "Why did you dis him, you idiot! He could have helped us-"
"It wasn't him." Renee insisted, but Lynn was unconvinced and grabbed her shoulder, stopping her in the middle of the street.
"You think I'm stupid!"
"You'd rather not hear my opinion on the matter." Renee said dryly and yanked her shoulder free.
Lynn turned red. "You self-absorbed skank! You couldn't admit to him that you screwed-up! You'd rather let Lana get herself killed than let your own brother know-"
A chorus of car horns cut her off.
"How about we stop contributing to the traffic jam?" Renee suggested and went on. Seething, Lynn followed her.
"But as for your accusation? Oh, to the contrary." Renee looked back at her. "I am taking responsibility for my failings. I admit it was a mistake bringing an idiot like you along. Your brother might be frail and out of shape, but he would undoubtedly have been more useful on account of having at least half a brain at his disposal."
Lynn snarled, "Screw you! This would never have happened in the first place if you hadn't made Lana cry and run into that freaking bathroom, you soulless piece of shit!"
"Oh, right…" Renee rolled her eyes. "I'm an unfeeling monster for not caring about some little girl's inane obsession with an animal that doesn't have the intellectual capacity to even care about their master?"
"I know you are, but what is Charles!" Lynn scoffed.
Renee did a slow clap. "How imaginative, I am still astounded by the continued unveiling of your elaborate mind, Lynn. You know, when I deal with my brother, he's at least capable of coming up with more creative insults than something you'd pick up by playing in a kindergarten sandbox."
Lynn's only response was to growl and clench her teeth.
"See. I continue to best you whenever we have an argument." Renee shrugged. "It's only logical that I would prevail and come out on top. So how about you stay silent and spare yourself any further humiliation?"
"Why you!" Lynn swung her fist, which Renee easily dodged and stepped back.
"And of course, you resort to physical violence as a last means of covering up the fact that you admit defeat." Renee continued. Lynn glared at her hatefully, her chest rising up and down.
Renee grimaced. "Of course, the only reason I'm humoring you now with this pointless arguing is because I can no longer avoid the reality that Lana has evaded us-"
Suddenly, they heard a chorus of barking, meowing and chirping. Lynn turned around to find a whole pack of cats and small dogs running down the street, along with a few exotic birds taking to the sky.
"Lana?" she blurted and ran ahead. Grunting, Renee followed and they came across a pet store, where the remaining pets ran away, while the store owner rushed out, holding a phone and calling someone frantically.
The girls caught a glimpse of a small figure parkouring over the roof and disappeared from sight.
"It's her!" Renee's eyes widened. Her resume as a babysitter was still salvageable!
"Then what are you waiting around for!" Lynn yelled and ran ahead but halted as she spotted a van parking next to the store and the driver had a brief chat with the owner before speeding away.
"Was that a dog catcher?!" Lynn blurted.
"Yes, and take a wild guess who his target is?" Renee said irritably and pulled her along, and they chased after the van.
Present….
Ryan slowly woke up, his eyelids were heavy and his head was throbbing. He groaned as he felt his face pressed against something cold and hard, like concrete. His vision was blurry, and he hissed as he clutched his aching head. Where was he, what the hell happened? He gradually realized that he was lying face down on the street and something was clogging up his left nostril. As he snorted it in, he felt the strong, irony taste. Blood?
As his vision cleared, he made out the image of a dark alley, filled with trash bags and trash cans. His memories started flooding back. Lyle? The Louds? Him losing it and beating the ever-loving shit out of the former?
"Lyle?!" with that, he pushed himself up but stopped in a kneeling position, as another sharp pang resonated through his skull. As he felt his face, his cheek hurt like hell. It was bruised and swollen.
"About time you woke up." A monotonous voice cut through the silence. Ryan was caught off guard and looked around frantically until his eyes fell on Maggie, who was leaning against the wall.
"You?" he slurred as he rubbed his head, still perplexed about what was going on. As more of his memory came back, he looked up and saw the night sky, with the moon looming over him.
How long had he been out? The Louds? Wait, what had happened to Lyle that-
"Oh, crap…." He grumbled and staggered to his feet, feeling dizzy as he did so.
"I would advise not waiting around any longer."
Hearing her voice again, a still groggy Ryan turned around sharply, grabbed her shoulder and pinned her against the wall.
"You? Where are they?" he growled, though with his head trauma he sounded more like he was recovering from a hangover.
His assault didn't faze Maggie. She kept her blank expression and sighed in annoyance from being manhandled again. "I thought you were more rational than your girlfriend?"
"Don't play games with me. Where are they!" Ryan demanded and grabbed her other shoulder.
"I'll take you to them, if you would allow me to. That was Lyle's request."
"Lyle?" Ryan grumbled. "What the hell happened to him? How did that windbag punch me out-"
"Don't remember? That brat doused him with something and….well, I think you should come and see for yourself." Maggie explained, lacking any inflections in her tone.
"Oh, and don't bother trying to call your girlfriend and sister for help, Lyle took care of that." She pointed down and Ryan saw a mobile phone on the ground, smashed to bits.
Before Ryan could respond, he heard sirens and noticed red and blue lights to his left.
He glanced in the direction, loosening his grip on Maggie. "Wut….what's that? Who called the co-"
"We shouldn't hang around and get caught up in questioning." She advised him as she wiggled out of his grasp. "Let's just say Lyle did some property damage before leaving."
Ryan made a face and Maggie walked past him, silently gesturing for him to follow. Mumbling and with his head and face still hurting, he followed. Once they walked back into the street, Ryan was in for a surprise.
Two cop cars were parked next to a small grocery store across the street, with one cop talking to the frantic owner. The store windows were broken, with smashed fruit and vegetable stands in front of them, and the latter's content splattered all across the street, and the awning that used to shade the stands having been violently ripped off, leaving just the support poles hanging loosely. But what caught Ryan's attention was how the second cop car was utterly trashed and missing its hood and the officer within it was covering in the backseat.
Looking around, Ryan also saw a squirting fountain where a hydrant used to be, a bent traffic sign and several more broken windows across the street.
Ryan's jaw dropped. "Lyle did that?" he asked incredulously.
Maggie nodded. "All him."
Ryan grumbled before turning to her. "What did he need that overhang for?"
"Get your elbow out of my face!"
"You get your foot off my abdomen!"
"Luan, your hair is in my mouth!"
"Geh…..ohph…..oph mah!"
Lincoln could do nothing but listen to his sisters' bickering. The five of them were pressed against each other, bathed in pitch-black darkness inside a makeshift sack that used to be a store overhang. They were dragged-no, they had been suspended over Lyle's shoulder, and he had carried them for an unknown amount of time. They had no idea where they were heading or what he had planned for them until they were suddenly and unceremoniously dropped to the floor, falling on top of each other.
"I believe we've reached our final destination…." Lincoln deadpanned and wiggled his way out from the bottom of the pile, searching for a way out. He lifted the fabric with his hand to peek out, only to be met with more pitch-black darkness.
"Enjoy the ride? Carrying you lightweights was a breeze!" Lyle's mocking tone cut through the silence, frightening the boy as the place suddenly lit up.
Lincoln covered his eyes from the blinding light, until they adjusted to it and he looked around to see Lyle holding the handle of a large flashlight which he placed on the floor to light the place.
Lincoln realized this wasn't some room. The vertical beam of light revealed the vast interior of a building with a dome-shaped roof, filled with stacks of wooden crates and towering shelving units stacked with dusty cardboard boxes, along with a few forklifts. His sisters came out to see where they were, and were greeted by Lyle's sickly green eyes and demented smile, extenuated by the flashlight he was standing over, which cast his face in shadows.
"Like it? It's my favorite place to hang out, or lie low!" he gestured wildly with his hands.
For no apparent reason, Lyle grabbed a nearby forklift and toppled it like it was a dollhouse. The siblings gasped.
"Damn! This feels good!" Lyle laughed, still in disbelief about his newfound power, and then swung his fist and punched a hole through the nearest crate, startling the siblings, and snarling and bearing his teeth with unbridled glee, as his pulse raced with excitement.
Observing this, Lincoln had no doubt what was going on. This was like comic book stock plot number three, random civilian gets their hands on some dangerous, untested serum concocted by a mad scientist that gives them super strength but it comes with side effects, namely insanity. Though a potential hole in that theory was the ambiguity regarding Lyle's original state of mind, which just made their current predicament all the more terrifying. What do you get when you douse an insane sadist with even more insanity?
"Ah, dang it." The siblings, sans Lucy, recoiled in horror as Lyle turned back towards them, showing a decent-sized chunk of wood jutting out from between his fingers, bleeding profusely. Lincoln covered his mouth as his tofu dinner threatened to come back up.
Lyle, however, seemed more peeved by it that anything and took it out, and tossed it towards them, making them all scoot to their left, except for Lucy.
She saw the wound on his hand close up almost immediately. "It healed?" she said in a small voice. This would have been quite wicked if it weren't for the fact that she, her family and Lola were being held hostage.
Lincoln heard her and reluctantly looked to see that it was indeed true. Enhanced healing factor? Another comic book cliché.
"It did, didn't it?" Lyle heard the goth perfectly and marveled at his hand, before touching the back of his head to find no scabs or anything. "Hell, yeah! This is better than I thought! I'm indisputable!"
"Don't you mean indestructible?" Lisa asked, simultaneously impressed and horrified by her own work. Lyle's only response was more mad laughter.
The laughter echoed through the warehouse. The sisters flinched and huddled closer together. Lincoln was just as scared. Speaking of comics, he now knew thanks to Lyle what it was like being held hostage, more than once, and it was much scarier in life than on the printed page.
"Why did you bring us here?" Lyle stopped laughing as he heard his tentative response. Lincoln raised his voice slightly. "Why did you bring us here?"
"I heard ya the first time!" Lyle retorted before grinning. "And don't play stupid, Ace! It's a trap, you moron! And you're the bait! Plain and simple." he threw his arms up. He still made no attempt to tie them up like last time. Was it pure cockiness on his part or had the serum made him even more irrational? Or both?
"By now, Taylor is probably being led here by Margaret, and maybe your butch sister, Lynn was it, is looking for you too. Here I can have my revenge and leave no witnesses."
That last comment chilled each one of the siblings to the bone. No witnesses? He couldn't be serious?
"W-what, w-hat do you mean by that?" Lincoln asked hesitantly.
"How about I give you a demonstration?" Lyle grinned wickedly and walked up to him; picking Lincoln up by his neck and pressing his thumbs below Lincoln's ears.
"I bent a stop sing like it was made of play-doh, I'm surely strong enough to pop your head off like a cork?" Lyle stated with sick glee, pressing his thumbs further into Lincoln's head, making him sweat.
"Lyle, please don't!" Luan begged him, with tears in her eyes.
Lyle smirked at her and shrugged. "Eh, good point. I should reserve that honor for Taylor." He instead gave Lincoln an atomic wedgie and dropped him.
"Owwww…" Lincoln wept in a high-pitched voice, paralyzed. Luan crawled towards him to help unhook his underpants from his head.
"Hooo….uhhh think…" Lola was about to stand up when she was smacked in the head by Lucy.
"Shut up, Lola! Just shut up!" the goth growled angrily.
Lola glared at her incredulously, wanting to return the favor but was swiftly grabbed by the arm by Lisa.
"Lola, what part about this being a highly volatile hostage situation didn't register with you?" she snapped at her.
"I hope you're proud of yourself, your petty desire for revenge got us into this." Lucy spat bitterly, venting out some long pent-up frustration with the princess. In this situation, what did she have to lose?
"Shhut…." Lola coughed before continuing "….uhp, ughly…"
"I always wished you didn't exist, but now more so than ever."
The others widened their eyes, not so much surprised to hear this from Lucy as much as the fact that she actually said it out loud.
"Uhhhh…family drama?" Lyle listened keenly. "How thrilling!"
"Bah…" Lola scoffed, not particularly concerned with what Lucy thought of her. "Ihh..herh foughlt." She gestured at Lisa, prompting Lucy to glance at her.
Lisa shrank. It was her fault, just like the zombie incident. Lincoln and Luan shifted their eyes at her as well, not saying anything, but the look in her brother's eyes told her everything she needed to know.
"Why are you all gawking at Four Eyes?" Lyle asked.
But maybe she could still course-correct this? Lisa looked at the grinning Lyle and swallowed a huge lump. She had to try, what did she have to lose? So she stepped up.
"Lyle, please, I implore you to listen to me!" she pleaded.
"Lisa?" Lincoln tried pulling her back but the pain in his butt crack made him stop.
"What did I tell you about bossing me around!" Lyle grinned, eager to hurt someone.
"Please, that serum is making you irrational, delirious!" Lisa continued desperately. "You need help. This serum is already causing a chemical imbalance in your brain, but they could have any number of unwanted side effects on your physiology? Please fight it and listen to me!"
"Side effects, schmide effects." Lyle laughed and flexed his biceps. "I'm jacked now, baby!"
"Listen to me, you might have increased strength now, but who knows how long that will last, or what other alterations to your physiology might manifest themselves?"
Hearing that, Lincoln mused. If he knew his comic cook tropes, untested super serums tended to wear off, often quickly. Or turn the infected person into an even more powerful and grotesque abomination? Regardless, this renewed some hope within him. Maybe if they could stall him long enough, Lyle would lose his strength before hurting any of them, or worse? Assuming they had time to stall?
"Lyle, you should listen to her. She made that super serum after all."
"What are you blabbing about?"
"Aren't you the least bit curious how you got so strong?" Lincoln continued carefully.
Maybe the serum was helping him think faster, but Lyle looked back at Lisa and put two and two together. "You made me super strong?"
"Yes! I mean no-I mean…ugh. It's complicated. I created the serum, I'm a certified genius and I can tell you that those experimental steroids have never had human trials and are highly-"
"You're a scientist?" Lyle leaned forward, making her shrink.
"Hmmmm…you do have glasses, a weird accent and ugly hair?" Lyle rubbed his chin. "Yup, you defiantly look like a scientist. But why are you so puny? You're one of those midget people, right?"
"It's a lateral lisp, not a foreign dialect, and I'm not-ugh!" Lisa tried to collect herself. This nitwit was about as focused as Leni. "Not important. Yes, I'm a brilliant scientist and the creator of the serum that bestowed you with great strength, therefore I demand that you-hey!"
Lyle grabbed her by the waist with one hand, and Lisa winced as she felt his crushing grip and was lifted up like a doll.
"In that case, I won't hurt you." Lyle reassured her. "I'll keep you with me, just in case I do run out of juice, so you can cook up some more!"
"What? That's not what I was-"
"Yes! Yes! That's what she was offering you." Lincoln spoke up and gave the genius a "shut up" glare. "But only if you promise not to hurt her family. It's a mutually beneficial-"
"No way!" Lyle snorted while tossing the squirming Lisa from one hand into the other like a toy. "I'm stronger than all you losers put together! I can do what I want and you get zilch!"
Lincoln gulped while Lisa yelped as she was tossed into the air. She closed her eyes as she came close to the floor, but Lyle caught her with one hand, balancing her on her abdomen.
Lyle chuckled as she once again struggled in his grasp, savoring the feeling of absolute power. She didn't weigh much to begin with, and he wondered how little pressure he needed to apply just to crush her tiny neck? Perhaps he should test it on the blonde or the emo creep?
But then, his ears picked up the sound of footsteps, from across the street.
"Lyle, please let her go." Lincoln pleaded. "We promise, we won't make a peep, just don't hurt her."
"He's here!" their captor said to no one in particular.
"Who's here-ah!" Lisa was dropped to the floor as Lyle glanced towards the entrance and clasped his hands.
"Alright, kiddies. Time for the game to begin!" He announced to them before grabbing Lisa's glasses and crushing them into powdered dust.
"My glasses? What's that noise?" Lisa asked as she heard the sound of dust pouring to the floor.
"Just so you don't get any ideas, Smarty Pants." Lyle smirked before looking at the others.
"Now, you're all going to be good little dorks and sit tight, right there." He pointed at the floor.
"Don't wanna make an example of one of you." he smiled.
"I'm not sure if I should be relieved or horrified?" Renee deadpanned as she and Lynn finally found the animal control officer in an alleyway, knocked out and sprawled out on the ground, his face smeared with mud and his cap pushed off his head by a huge bump.
"At least we won't have to worry about the competition." Lynn sighed when she saw Renee crouch down and flip the guy over, pulling off his jacket.
"What are you doing?"
"Put this on." Renee threw the jacket and cap into Lynn's hands before jumping into the back of the van.
"You want to rob this guy?" Lynn was surprised.
Renee quickly came out, wearing a uniform of her own, along with a catcher net in her hands.
"Yes, the brat's assault on this man might prove to be our lucky break, this way we won't arouse any suspicion when we catch a rabid animal and take it with us." She jumped out and walked past Lynn. "Come on."
Lynn was unsure of this but gave in and put the jacket and cap on before following her. Her reasoning made sense, even if Lynn hadn't expected Miss By The Book to resort to borrowing things without permission. This seemed more in line with the other Taylor's M.O.
"Oh, so you have no problems with stealing to get what you want?" Lynn asked coyly.
"He's in no need of it in his state, and it's a necessary evil." Renee said simply.
"Ah, so there is a little bit of Ryan inside you after all?" Lynn scoffed.
"I'm nothing like him." Renee said firmly.
"I meant it as a compliment." Lynn replied.
"I can't think of a more condescending evaluation of my character than being compared to my brother."
Lynn scowled. With this pompous cow, a moment of levity could never last.
"What's your deal with him?" Lynn asked harshly. "Why do you act like he's lower than dirt?"
"If I need to spell it out for you yet again or if you're incapable of seeing it with your own eyes, then I know that any explanation I offer now will be futile." Renee dismissed her, irking her yet again.
"Oh, I remember what you said. And if memory serves, you're reasons were pretty shallow."
"Here we go again…." Renee rolled her eyes. "This is not the time to discuss your pitiful school girl crush; we have more urgent matters to attend to."
Scowling, Lynn walked up to her. "What's that supposed to mean? Am I supposed to be ashamed for liking him?"
Renee glanced back. "If my memory serves you, you were in denial about "liking" him, so perhaps you find your own crush shameful….hmmm?"
"I do not!" Lynn retorted. "Yes, I have a crush on him! I admit it, you happy! I have a crush on him and he has one on me! Do you have a problem with that?"
"I never implied that, in fact, I think you might as well be the ideal match for my brother." Renee said. Of course, her remark wasn't a positive one. "Though that's hardly a compliment."
"Of course not, because me liking a boy is stupid and childish, am I right?" Lynn snorted.
"More or less, I'd say the bigger issue you'll inevitably have to face is the reality of how meaningless romance is, especially for a child like you. It's a fatuous feeling that, much like an adrenaline rush, fades fast and then you're hit with the sobering realization of how inane it all was."
"Oh, I get it. Some guy stood you up and now you're bitter and pissy about it?"
"Hardly, because I never had a "crush" to begin with. Ask Ryan if you don't believe me." Renee replied, her rather chill tone implying she was entirely earnest.
"Then how the hell do you know what having a crush is like?" Lynn challenged her.
"It's not rocket science, kid. Most adults can hardly sustain a relationship for long, let alone a minor. You think you have found your soul mate now, but you'll have an ugly breakup in about…..oh I don't know….by the end of this summer? A pointless and ridiculous distraction is all it will amount to in the end."
"We won't!" Lynn got defensive. "What do you think? That Ryan just sees me as arm candy and doesn't care about me? Well, you're wrong! He does care about me, more than you could ever imagine. He'd risk his neck to help me!"
"How quaint. Don't tell I didn't try to warn you, but you clearly don't understand him."
"Don't understand him? That's something coming from you!" Lynn retorted. "Lemme guess, you think I don't know about his past? About how he bullied and pushed other kids around? I do! He told me everything! About him being a bully, tagging the school wall, dropping stink bombs at pep rallies, destroying a jungle gym to spite the other kids, visiting preschools every Halloween drenched in fake blood, etc, etc! I know all the shit he's done!"
Renee's eyes widened slightly. "He's been that open with you? I must say, that is surprising."
"Yes, he was. And you think I wasn't angry with him at first, I totally was. In fact, when I first met him I thought he was a complete asshole and a creep. Don't think I'm not aware of how insufferable he can be."
"Then how pray tell do you find him appealing now?"
"Because I looked past that, I gave him a chance. Have you tried giving him a chance? He did shitty things, but he didn't do them for no reason."
Renee rolled her eyes. "Oh, I see, his little sob story-"
"Sob story? I ain't that stupid! I know being bullied doesn't give you the right to be a bully, but he wasn't given a chance. How would you react if you were just born looking weird and the other kids always gave you crap for it? Have you ever tried helping him?"
"I gave up on that a long time ago." Renee said coldly.
Lynn felt her blood boil. She had formed a connection with Ryan in a matter of months, despite their horrible first meeting, despite weeks of him giving her every signal that she should steer clear of him. But his own sister still viewed him as nothing but the sum of his parts after twelve years? Lynn had no doubt that she never even tried.
"Why? So you mean to tell me a kid who got bullied at school, all the while his folks were always away and never there for him and his own sister treated him like shit ended up messed up? News flash, who was supposed to teach him to be better? His absentee parents? The bullies at school? The bully he shared a home with?"
Renee narrowed her eyes. "I never, ever instigated a fight. He has always been the aggressor and the bane of my existence."
"Oh, you don't say?" Lynn wanted to laugh. "So insulting someone every day and treating them like they're utter garbage isn't called instigating? It sure sounds like instigating to me, cuz I only had to put with you for half a day and I already want to rip your throat out."
"I treat people with respect when they've earned it."
"That again? And how was he supposed to earn it, when you're being colder than a hockey player who fell through the ice? Because you find him annoying? Believe me, I grew up with a whole horde of annoying siblings and I got into more fights with them than I can count, but I never treated any of them, even the worst of them, like they were less than human!"
Renee sighed in annoyance. "If you have a point, make it."
"My point is that there's a lot more to Ryan than the smart alec he is on the surface, and you know what? I don't think he would be half as messed up as he is now if you had bothered to be a sister to him! Why are you even like this?"
"And are you speaking from experience-"
"I asked you something!"
Renee sighed exasperatedly. "You still don't understand anything? Unsurprising, since you're still a child."
"And you're not? You're only fourteen!" Lynn scoffed. "What's your damage? Would it kill you to smile or enjoy yourself for once?"
"Typical child mentality, unable to see the bigger picture." Renee dismissed her. "Treating an authority figure like they're in the wrong because you're incapable of looking past your hedonistic, self-serving outlook?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"There are more important things in life than frivolous notions like "fun". Adults have responsibilities, duties, obligations that they must follow on a daily basis. And those obligations leave little room for lazing around and treating life like a joke. You think it is easy for me to juggle all my responsibilities? Keeping up good grades, earning money independently, finishing novels for my book club, being head of the debate team, being part of my AcDec team, those are all things that will matter in the long run."
"You think I don't know what that's like? It's not easy for me being on two dozen sports team, but that never made me into a bitter, humorless prune-"
Renee sniggered. "You're comparing your inane hobbies with my responsibilities? You think sports matter, that they're going to get you somewhere in life? That just proves my point of how ignorant you are, Lynn."
Lynn felt her blood boil even more. "What did you say?" she asked dangerously.
"You're still a naïve child, who throws caution to the wind and thinks life is a carefree romp, one who cannot see or comprehend the bigger picture. One who does nothing but laze around, engage in meaningless games, all the while being oblivious to the chaos and misery you cause to the people around you, like you're parents, who I'm sure they were more than happy to leave you and your siblings in order to have a much-needed vacation from all the stress and strain. That is what I'm saying."
Lynn was speechless. That last remark did it for her. That was the last straw.
"Take that back!" She hissed through clenched teeth. "I'm not like that!"
"Keep telling yourself that." Renee scoffed.
Lynn wanted to attack her when they heard a familiar laugh from another alleyway.
"It's her!" Renee forgot about Lynn and ran ahead. Clenching her fists, Lynn followed and they came across Lana, still drenched in mud, crouching on a closed dumpster and spilling out a bag of cat food to a bunch of alley cats.
"Here-ya-go! Eat-up!" she laughed and threw the now empty sack into the air. "I-stole-it-from-the-animal-prison-after-liberating-those-poor-fuzzballs-who-were-held-there!"
"Alright, we can't afford for anything to go wrong." Renee whispered to Lynn. "This time you're going to listen exactly as I tell you-"
"How about no?" Lynn snatched the net from her hand.
"What are you doing?" Renee hissed.
"Doing things my way." Lynn retorted and sprang into action.
"Wait, you idiot!"
Lana looked around and dodged the net. The cats scattered as she back-flipped through the alley, jumped high and grabbed the bars of a balcony.
"Nice-try!" she laughed. "You-will-never-catch-me!"
"Lana, get down from there, you'll hurt yourself!" Lynn pleaded.
"Lynn? You-joined-those-mean-old-catchers!" Lana was appalled. "BOO! BOO!"
Grunting, Lynn tried snagging her but she was out of reach. Lana blew a raspberry and jumped onto the balcony before scaling up a fire escape.
"Lana, get down from there!"
"Catch-me-if-you-can!"
Groaning, Lynn chased after her, zigzagging up the fire escape until she climbed onto the roof, where she found her mud-covered sister taunting her.
"Nah nah nah nah! Can't-catch-me!" she exclaimed and ran off.
"Lana, get back!" Lynn cried and gave chase. "You'll fall off!"
She tried catching her again, but she was too fast, causing Lynn to hit the concrete and pull herself up.
"Can't-catch-me! Can't-catch-me!" Lana shouted as she jumped onto the edge of the roof.
Lynn gasped. "Don't even think!"
"Yippee ki yay!" Lynn screamed as she watched her sister leap, curl up and spin through the air. Fortunately, she landed on the neighboring roof with the grace of an acrobat.
"Bet-you-can't-make-the-jump! Phony!" she stuck her tongue out again.
Boiling with anger, Lynn took several steps back and ran at full speed, jumping off the roof and barely managing to grab hold of the ledge and pull herself up. She looked down at the three-story drop below and shuddered.
"I really need to kill this urge to show people off." She climbed up and found Lana waiving at her.
Without a word, Lynn chased after her and swung her net. A unit of air conditioners stood in their way, and Lana somersaulted over them while Lynn vaulted herself over them.
Lana jumped on the ledge and laughed. "This-is-fun!"
"Lana, stop…" Lynn panted, clutching her net "….this is dangerous…"
"Don't-come-closer!" Lana warned her. "Or-I'll-jump-again!"
Lynn feared for her life, but held it together and lifted her net. "No you're not!"
"Suit-yourself-by!" Lana made good on her threat and jumped down.
Lynn screamed with horror and looked down. She found Lana hanging admits a series of clotheslines, suspended between the two buildings.
"Ha! Made-ya-look!" Lana laughed.
"Lana?" Lynn yelled in a shaky voice as she suspended the shaft of her net. "Grab on to this!"
"No-way! You-wanna-spoil-my-fun!" Lana started climbing away and swung towards another cord.
"Lana, listen to me! You'll fall! You hear me! You'll fall!" Lynn was freaking out when she saw the line holding Lana moving on its own and taking her with it.
Lana looked to her left and saw Renee on a ledge on the other building, pulling her towards her.
"How-did-you-get-up-there!" Lana cried. "No-fair!"
"This ends now." Renee reached out for her but Lana let go and grabbed hold of a lower hanging line.
"Can't-catch-me! Can't-catch-me!"
Lana caught sight of Lynn's hand in the corner of her eye and swung away.
"Damnit!" Lynn cried, suspending herself from the cord with both arms, her net strapped to her back.
"You idiot!" Renee called her out. "You'll snap the cord!"
"Shut it! You think our stick figure designs weigh anything?"
"No, but your big head sure does!"
Growling, Lynn ignored her and tried to focus on Lana. She gasped as she saw her tight rope walking on one of the lines.
"Now-we're-talking!" she laughed. "Look-at-me! I-m-in-the-circus!"
Lynn climbed towards her, and Lana casually walked away, holding her arms out to balance herself on the rope. Holding on with just one arm, Lynn tried snagging her with the net, but had to swing her body just to reach her.
Lana continued laughing and whooping when someone seized her arm.
"Now I got you!" Renee hung from the rope when a net was thrown over her head.
"What are you doing?" Lynn yelled when she heard a snap behind her. She screamed as she found herself falling, so she clung onto the rope and planted her feet into the wall, stopping the rest of her from colliding into it.
"Lemme-have-a-try!" Lana slipped out of Renee's grasp, jumped down and grabbed hold of her foot, using it as a swing. Grunting, Renee lifted her leg to reach her, but Lana scurried over her body and climbed back onto the line.
"You're-a-big-meanie-Renee! I-don't-like-you!" she taunted her and started biting the cord. "Go-away!"
Narrowing her eyes, Renee swung off to another line just as Lana snapped this one and used it like a vine to swing back and forth. Lynn tried to reach her with her net but to no avail.
"C'mon! Ugh!" she sweated.
Renee, meanwhile, heard another snap from both sides and found herself plummeting. She was spared from a fatal drop through pure serendipity as she landed into a nightgown hanging from a lower-hanging line.
She rolled her eyes, this was hopeless. She looked up at Lynn, still trying to net Lana. She looked down at her. "Will you stop playing dress up and do something!"
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but maybe we should put aside our differences and work in unison?"
"Oh, now you're thinking about it!"
"You do realize…"Renee climbed out of the gown and onto the rope "….while we're bickering, she could fall to her death?"
Whooping, Lana swung past them and back again.
Looking worried, Lynn sighed. "Alright, what should we do?"
"At this point, I'm willing to hear you out." Renee deadpanned. "Whatever you say it might just be stupid enough to work."
Lynn frowned but nonetheless, started thinking. Then it came to her. "I know! We need to beat her at her own game!" she pointed up.
"You want us to play Tarzan?" Renee inquired.
"Yes! And….and if we cut the remaining rope, she'll have nowhere left to escape!"
Renee raised an eyebrow. "That's…not a terrible idea."
"Yeah, yeah, don't choke yourself with the compliments, just do it!"
Both girls climbed up to their respective ledges and snapped a rope. Lana laughed and continued swinging when she suddenly spotted her sister swinging towards her and barely dodged her net.
"Missed-me! Now-ya-gotta-kiss-me!" she stuck her tongue out while Lynn planted her feet against a wall and sprung into action again.
Lana dodged an attack from Renee as well, who swung towards a balcony and landed on its railings. As Lana came towards her, Lynn reached out with her net and just barely missed her.
"Ugh!"
"Grab my hand!" she heard Renee as she came towards her, and reluctantly did so.
"What are you doing?"
Holding on to Lynn with one hand, Renee held her rope with the other. "Giving you a speed boost, keep her in your sights!"
Lynn saw Lana's shrinking form make a U-turn and head towards them.
"Get ready!"
"I'm always ready." Lynn insisted as she swung herself and with Renee's help leaped forward on a collision course with her target.
Seeing the net heading towards her, Lana let go of the rope and flew across the air. Acting fast, Lynn lifted her net and, miraculously, she caught Lana, the added weight causing the net to drop down.
"Yes!" Lynn cheered, forgetting to look where she was swinging in the process and slammed into a wall. Stunned, she let go of the rope and found herself and Lana falling.
She grabbed hold of a ledge, barely holding on to it. Lana climbed out of the net and used the hoop as a swing.
"Whoho!" she exclaimed.
"Lana, no!" Lynn pleaded her, feeling her own grip slipping until she started plummeting. She screamed when suddenly, Renee grabbed her hand.
"You're not dying on my watch." Renee grunted and pulled the two up.
Giggling, Lana crawled out of the net but was promptly pinned down by Renee and Lynn.
"Enough!" Renee pulled out a vaccine from her jacket.
Lynn's eyes widened. "What's that for?"
"No-fair!" Lana laughed. "Let's-do-this-again!"
"Sedative, step aside." She pushed Lynn back and jabbed the needle into Lana's butt.
"Ow! That-hurt!" Lana complained but quickly felt groggy and stopped struggling.
"Whoaa…" her voice slowed down "….why….feel…sleepy…"
"Yes, sleep…sleep." Renee told her as her body slowly went limp.
"Where did you get this stuff?"
"From the animal control officer, where else?" Renee said firmly.
Lynn sighed with relief watching Lana fall asleep before turning to Renee again, looking awkward.
"Eh….thanks….y'know…..for saving me…"
"Someone had to save you from your idiocy." Renee scoffed, making the former frown.
"Y'know, this should be the part where we reach some sort of understanding?" Lynn rolled her eyes.
"How about you reach for one of those sheets over there, so we can carry the brat?"
Lynn grumbled and did so. At least this nightmare was over.
Placing Lana into their makeshift bag, the two climbed down and quickly rushed out of the alleyway and onto the streets, with Lynn carrying Lana over her shoulder.
"Alright, let's go meet up with Lincoln and go back home, I really need a nap. The squirt gave me half a dozen heart attacks this night." She panted.
"He still hasn't called." Renee looked at her phone. "How hard can it be to track a pair of-"
They saw a police light and a cop car parked in front of them.
"No….no, no, no…." Lynn stuttered. She had successfully broken into a five-star hotel without ever being seen last night. She couldn't get busted for this!
Renee grabbed her by the shoulder and said, "Stay calm…"
A heavyset cop with a bushy mustache stepped out of the car. For some reason, he was wearing shades at night.
"Office Tucker…" he showed them his badge "….may have a word with you, kids?"
"Why, sure, officer." Renee smiled. "Is something a matter?"
"Yes, yes there is. I've been informed about some neerdowells causing trouble around these parts."
The girls looked at each other nervously.
"Have you seen some kid with roid rage going around on a rampage? Or a fat guy in a trench coat carrying a cash register?"
Their worry soon got replaced with looks of confusion.
"Ehhh…" Lynn scratched her arm.
"Eh, no, I'm afraid we haven't, sir. But I give you my word that if we happen upon somebody who fits either of those two descriptions, we'll contact the police station instantly." Renee assured him.
Tucker snapped his head up and groaned. "Another dead end? Or for crying out…..ugh. Does nobody commit felonies during daylight hours anymore…"
As he grumbled to himself, Renee nudged Lynn to start moving.
"Hey, wait a minute?" they froze as he pointed at them. "What with those uniforms, are you animal control officers?"
"Why, yes, yes we are." Renee nodded.
"Aren't you too young-"
"Too young? Yes, we're just interns at the local animal shelter, but me and my friend like to think that regardless of our age or position, we all have our civic duties to fulfill. I'm sure an esteemed law enforcer like you understands that?"
The officer scratched his head. "And what's in that bag? Is that snoring I hear?"
"This thing?" Renee grabbed it from Lynn. "I don't want to be rude, but me and my friend just bagged and tranquilized this rabid wolverine which was going around on a rampage, just like that first perp you're trying to catch. We're kinda in a hurry to reach the animal shelter and put it out of its misery."
"Rabid wolverine?" Tucker backed away, unnerved.
"Eh, yeah, you do not want this thing waking up here and busting loose." Lynn added.
"Eh….good point, you ladies take care of that. I'll be going back to my case, thank you for your cooperation…" Tucker quickly opened the door to the drivers' seat.
Renee nudged Lynn again before nodding. "No, no. Thank you for keeping our streets safe…..move it." She whispered to Lynn and they quickened their pace while the cop car drove off in the other direction.
"Huh…..nice safe…" Lynn begrudgingly commented.
"It was nothing. Regardless of which part of the globe you inhabit, they always waste tax money on inept twits to uphold the law." Renee replied.
"Y'know, you're add-lip lying there reminded me of a certain someone…"
"Don't even think about saying it." Renee gave her a stern glare. "We have two more runaways to catch."
"I know this dump?" Ryan recognized the warehouse from the outside. Him and Lyle used to hang out here, or rather, were supposed to down the line. Either way, he recognized it. Should have known this was the obvious place for Lyle to go to.
Surrounded by a wired fence, he found the partially demolished gate. "So where's Lyle?" Ryan asked Maggie but received no response. As he turned around he saw her shrinking form running away.
"Smart girl…." he said begrudgingly looking back at the warehouse. Maggie hadn't been very talkative on their way here, and Ryan assumed it wasn't due to her normal stoicism. All she said was that Lyle snatched them and took off with all five of them at once, using the torn off overhang as a kidnapping sack. Ryan had a hunch how he had managed to carry them all and why Maggie hightailed it out of here.
Considering Lyle got doused by another one of Lizzie's psycho serums, no duh! And it honestly scared him, having firsthand experience with the kind of horror Lizzie's botched science projects were capable of.
"Swell, this is just the third time in three days I had to fear for my life." He grumbled dryly as he ran onto the premise and discreetly stepped into the dark building, hoping he wouldn't have to deal with zombies at the very least. He hated repeats. He knew he should probably have devised some sort of plan, but he didn't have the time for it, not when friends were being held hostage, along with a few unpleasant bonuses by a super-powered maniac.
He sure wished Lynn was aiding him right now, but control freak Renee's "no phone" policy put the kibosh on that in advance.
He thought about calling out for Lyle as he searched the dark interior, but chose against it. He knew he was hopelessly outmatched, and the element of surprise was one of the few advantages he had. Sneaking past this loon was no problem, but retrieving the Louds while remaining undetected was another matter. Whatever was going on, surely Mohawk Moron didn't think of a more sophisticated trap than simply holding people hostage and fighting the dashing hero?
He soon saw a light and figured that's where the damsels were being held. Darkness and sneaking around being his thing, he snuck up to a shelving unit and made a cautious peek only to find….the Louds sitting in a aisle, huddle next to a flashlight on the floor?
Ryan raised an eyebrow. They weren't restrained? Lyle had just left them there, looking terrified? And where was he? Ryan squinted and looked around. Even with his honed in night vision, he saw no sign of Lyle. Did the serum simply give him super strength or was that just the tip of the iceberg? Did it turn him into a chameleon monster with a biological cloaking device? Or it made him capable of moving through time and space? Or so moving so fast that he was practically invisible?
"Is he gone?" Lucy asked fearfully.
"No…" Lincoln was more than certain. "He's just hiding."
"Maybe we should make a break for it?" Luan asked nervously, barely keeping her composure.
"No, Luan." Lincoln told her. "He'll catch us with ease."
Sighing, Ryan was about to reveal himself when he was struck in the chest by a flying kick and knocked into a bunch of empty cardboard boxes. The noise startled the siblings.
"What was that?" Luan gasped.
"I can't see anything!" Lisa cried.
Ryan pushed himself up and clutched his chest. He glanced up to find a shadowy figure standing in front of him.
"Lyle…" he grumbled. This was going to hurt.
"I'm ready for our rematch." Lyle said as he advanced towards him, eyes flashing green.
Ryan got up and swung a fist, which Lyle caught and they locked hands. Ryan's face scrunched up and he grunted strenuously as he found himself unable to push Lyle away. His worries were quickly confirmed. Lyle went easy on him, savoring the pleasure of showing this big-mouthed showoff what he could really do and giving him a fleeting second of false hope that he could take him on.
"What's wrong? Widdle baby can't bwawl?"
Ryan looked him in the eye, as they were facing each other. "So what's the deal?" he scoffed in a strained voice. "Did Lizzie's serum turn you into Jackie Chan as well?"
"Oh, much better than that." Lyle grinned and slowly unleashed his full strength. Ryan hissed as his hands were being crushed in Lyle's iron grip and he was forced to kneel.
"Bout time you showed some respect!" Lyle laughed. "Now kiss my feet!"
"How about you kiss my tuchus, king of boobs!" Ryan spat. Outmatched or not, he wasn't going to cower in front of this joker. He would rather croak than do that. "How…." He asked between long breaths "…how are you doing this…"
"I told you, I'm the toughest kid on the block!" Lyle relished and stopped playing around. He threw Ryan to the ground and grabbed his ankle.
"Oh, no…" Ryan knew what he was in for.
"Let's not go in circles all night!" Lyle laughed as he swung Ryan around and threw him into the light, making him faceplant right in front of the Louds.
"Ryan!" Luan gasped and rushed towards him.
"Fear not…." Ryan said weakly as he looked up "…..salvation is at hand-oh boy." He groaned as he saw Lyle coming. He shoved Luan away and seized Ryan by the neck and lifted him up to face him.
Ryan chocked. "Okay, that….actually hurt."
"The hurting has just started!" Lyle slammed him into the floor and then pressed his foot on him, making him gasp in pain. "Got any more funny quips, huh!"
"If you get your foot off him, I'll leave you in stitches by the end of the night." Ryan insisted.
Lyle grabbed him again and lifted him over his head, holding him with absolute ease. The siblings went slack-jawed.
"Drop the charade; I know you're shitting your pants right now, Taylor!" Lyle laughed. "Once I'm done with you, you'll be the one in need of stitching!"
"I wouldn't celebrate just yet, Lyle." Ryan scoffed. "Knowing Lizzie's work, you might be Charles Atlas now but you could turn into an acid-spitting zombie in t-minus five minutes."
That would actually be preferable at this point. The Loud zombies had lost all the faculties and were little more than rabid animals. Lyle still retained what few brain cells he originally had, and handling a monster that could think was a whole new level to try and survive.
"Ha! Is that supposed to scare me!"
"No, it's a legitimate concern!" Lisa cried.
"Lisa…" Lucy deadpanned. "He's to your left."
"Oh!" Lisa blushed and properly faced him. "Another of my serums once turned my entire family into zombies!"
"Wut?" Lucy, Luan and Lola said simultaneously.
"There's no way of telling how my serums could affect a human's physiology unless I can study them. Otherwise, you run the risk-"
"We'll have plenty of time for that later." Lyle brushed her off and lifted his defeated foe high up.
"Look at him, you losers!" Lyle yelled at the top of his lungs. "You're seeing this? Bear witness to me reclaiming my rightful title as the strongest kid on the-no! The strongest man on Earth!"
"Pffftttt…too bad circus strongman is no longer a real profession." Ryan quipped and was promptly thrown across the aisle, hitting the floor hard.
"Ryan!" Luan cried and stood up. "For once in your life, stop joking! It will save your life!"
Her heart skipped a beat as Lyle's leery eyes fell on her again and he grabbed her by the elbow.
"No!" she cried. "Let me go!"
"Lyle, please!" Lisa begged. "You're not strong! You're on drugs and they could wear off any second!"
"You see this, creep!" Lyle taunted Ryan as he pulled Luan close to him and caressed her face. "I could hurt this skank right in front of you and there's not a bloody thing you could do to stop me! You get that! I'M STRONGER THAN YOU COULD EVER HOPE TO BE!"
Ryan struggled to get up, his whole body aching from the impact, but he had enough strength left in him to give Lyle one intense and hateful glare.
Luan flinched as Lyle's yelling nearly pierced her eardrums and then felt a chill coursing through her body as Lyle's glance returned to her and his face got uncomfortably close to hers. She whimpered as he sniffed and kissed her cheek.
Ryan's eyes widened, his nostrils flared and he clenched his teeth. Regardless of what his feelings for Luan were, he couldn't let that sick bastard force himself on his friend. The sisters felt nauseated seeing this, as did Lincoln but his eyes drifted towards the flashlight standing next to him, and he started forming an idea.
"Uhhhh….did I struck a nerve?" Lyle taunted his fallen rival. "You ain't man enough to protect your girlfriend?" Luan teared up as he looked at her again, when something hit him.
"Wait?" he turned back to Ryan. "Isn't Lynn your girlfriend, or are you playing them both, you pimp!"
With all his remaining strength, Ryan roared and pounced on him but Lyle easily backhanded him and threw Luan to the floor.
That's when Lincoln grabbed the flashlight, unnoticed by Lyle. "What are you doing?" Lucy asked frantically.
"Lights out, you run and take Lisa's hand!" he told her quickly as the light beam started flailing around.
Lucy understood. "But what about them?"
They saw Luan on the floor and Lyle singlehandedly slamming Ryan into a crate.
"Luan, get up!" Lincoln rushed in and grabbed her by the elbow. This was their chance to escape. Ryan could take care of himself or…..
Lyle grabbed Ryan's waist and lifted him up with both arms, looking up at him with a smirk.
"You just don't know when to give up!" he laughed. "You still won't accept that I have the biggest muscles in town!"
"Well….. at least my nards are now bigger than yours." Ryan snorted.
Lyle seethed but soon smiled with glee. "So brave in the face of danger? You deserve a hug!"
Ryan's face fell as he was pulled into a bear hug to end all bear hug, groaning in pain as he was crushed in Lyle's grip.
"Aw, not a hugger?"
"Nope, unless it's from a pretty girl!" Ryan shot back, but to no use. Things were going black.
"AGHH!" Lyle cried and let him go as Luan jabbed a broken piece of wood into his back.
Lyle let Ryan go, swung around and smacked her, sending her flying across the floor. He pulled the wood out of his back and laughed.
"You think a little splinter could hurt me! Bad girl, I oughta teach you-"
"Hey, you!" he heard Lincoln's voice and turned around, only to be blinded by the flashlight the former was holding.
"Get out! Now!" Lincoln yelled at his younger sisters. "We'll catch up in a minute!"
Lucy grabbed Lisa's arm and looked for Lola, only to hear her running away.
"Figures." She grumbled inwardly before turning to Lincoln. "Luan?"
"We'll help her! Go!" Lincoln commanded before spotting Lyle's hand swiping at him and barely dodging it. Lucy ran and pulled Lisa along.
"You think that will stop me!" Lyle laughed. "You're crazy!"
Ryan, stumbling to his feet, saw Luan lying on the floor and Lyle zeroing in on Lincoln.
"Hey, dummy! Over here!" he flailed his arms to get his attention. "Leave the pipsqueak alone! You ain't finished with me!"
Lyle snarled at him, and the panting Lincoln looked at his flashlight and knew what he had to do.
"Lights out!" he announced and did so. The building turned pitch-black.
"What's going on?!" Lyle yelled. "Give me back the light!"
Coming to, Luan felt someone grab her elbow and pull her up. "It's me, stay quiet…." Ryan whispered to her.
"Ryan?" she kept her voice down and he helped her to her feet. "Where are the others?"
"Think I can't find you like this!" they heard Lyle nearby. "Huh! I'll hunt you down even if I have to do it blind!"
"Come on!" Ryan pulled Luan along and tried to find a place to hide, hoping the little brats listened to Lincoln and that Lincoln himself knew better than to stick around.
It must have been hours since they have been hiding under the living room couch. Banged up and terrified, Marceline and Charles had squeezed themselves underneath the couch. For poor Charles, this was a major case of déjà vu, hiding under the couch and fearing for your life. Like owner, like pet.
The house had been silent for some time, with no sign of the crazed frog. Marceline was the first to find the courage….to goad Charles into going out and seeing if the coast was clear. She gestured with her head for him to move it, but the bull terrier shook his, as well as the rest of his body, whimpering and crawling further back.
Marceline growled in annoyance. She should have just run back home through the pet door, then she wouldn't be dealing with all this madness. If only she knew what that was like for Charles and Cliff.
Cliff? She wondered if that pipsqueak was still alive, or if Hops had swallowed him and his cage whole, like how she had seen him swallow a footstool? How much food did those slimy amphibians need before they turned sleepy and lethargic? One good-sized bird was enough to knock her out for a few hours.
What neither she or Charles knew though; was that Cliff was still sleeping soundly in his cage in the parents' room, blissfully unaware of Hops' rampage, somehow having tuned out the ruckus while dozing? True to the feline stereotype, he was a heavy sleeper.
Marceline couldn't take this anymore. The only thing worse than being wedged in a tight space was being wedged in a tight space next to a reeking cur, and catching some of his flees. Worse still, being pressed against a dog that desperately needed a long bath, something even a feline like her had to admit.
She gestured again for Charles to move it, but the mutt still wouldn't budge, utterly terrified. Eventually, his horrendous smell and the maddening feeling of being cramped into a tight space took its toll, and Marceline made the suicidal decision to check out if the coast was clear.
Pulling herself out and shaking the dust bunnies off her, she looked around frantically but just saw an empty living room. The eerie silence wasn't very reassuring, so Marceline set her sights on the pet door, just a few yards away from her. This was it! But the moment she lifted one paw….
"Ribbit!"
That sound made her hair stand on edge.
She saw Hops standing next to her and she jumped on her back legs and dug her claws into the wall in fright. Hops looked at her and inflated his throat sack, making her shake with terror and jump onto the telephone stand, knocking down said phone in the process. Charles couldn't bear to look and shut his eyes tight. She was going to die!
Marceline reared up on the stand as the frog kept eye-balling her and croaking when suddenly, a pair of red laser beams were shot at him and within two seconds, reduced him to a tiny, smoking pile of ash. Marceline blinked in shock, unable to comprehend what had just happened, until she heard the sound of small jet engines.
"Objective achieved. Hostile intruder neutralized." She and Charles heard a robotic voice.
Marceline's jaw dropped as she saw Fenton, sporting jet feet, hovering in the air and slowly descending to the floor, transforming his jet feet into regular feet again. His right eye turned into an extendable telescope to inspect the little smoldering pile.
"Confirmed. Hostile intruder 100% neutralized."
Marceline looked at him incredulously. What the hell was this thing? Whatever it was, it was beyond creepy. Fenton's optics turned towards her, and he scanned her. Marceline filched as the red beam went over her from head to paws.
"Identifying subject: Felis lybica catus. Designation: Unknown. Threat level: Minimal. Conclusion? Termination unnecessary."
Picking up Charles' confused whine, he spotted the dog and scanned him as well. "Identifying second subject: Canis lupus familiaris. Designation: Charles. Function: Pet." Charles pushed himself back, not wanting the robot to scan him again, while Marceline stared at him with the hair on her back raised.
After a prolonged silence, Fenton came to the logical conclusion that these simple-minded animals were confused by his presence. He was probably too much to fathom for their limited cognitive capacities, so he opted to introduce himself using only one and two-syllable words. That he knew of.
"Hello. I'm Fenton. Master Lisa's faithful servant. Threat dealt with. No reason to be afraid. Anymore."
Marceline eyed him warily, extending her claws, just in case.
"I was ordered to go. Into hibernation. But in my quarters I am. Wired to the security system that. Master Lisa has installed. To awaken if the silent alarm. Goes off." Fenton explained, but the animals were too busy being horrified by his frozen plastic smile that didn't synch up with the words coming out of him.
"I am programmed. To eliminate threat. If hostiles appear on perimeter." He pointed at the pile of ash that used to be Hops. "Though my programming still suffers. From glitches. Like delayed reaction. I sincerely hope. I was not too late."
"You have no reason. To remain in a state. Of fright."
After receiving no response, he blinked, creeping them out even more, as his "blinking" looked more like closing camera lenses. "Was that too articulate?"
Marceline scowled, she didn't understand half of the things this….thing said, but it sure reminded her of behind talked down to by humans, specifically Renee. Mustering up the courage, she jumped down and walked up to the fox-bot, sniffing him.
"I would appreciate if. My personal space was. Respected."
Marceline bumped him with her paw and was surprised that he felt more like plastic than a flesh and blood being. Charles, encouraged by Marceline bold move, came up behind him and sniffed him too, also surprised that he smelt more akin to a tin can than an animal.
"Scanning someone for their. Scent is impolite."
Marceline growled and skulked around him, unable to look at that psychotic smile any longer. At least he got rid of the frog, somehow, and wasn't threatening them. Charles, however, continued sniffing him, currently having a mental argument with himself if Fenton should be identified as an animal or an inanimate object?
"That is very unsanitary. I am not a. Fire hydrant." Fenton said as Charles marked him as part of his territory and walked off.
Fenton extended his arm and snatched a bottle of disinfectant to spray himself with. Seeing this from the couch, Marceline shuddered.
"Much better."
A groan diverted Fenton's attention to the broken window. He grew roller skates from his feet and rolled towards the window, and then extended his legs so he could peer through it.
He spotted a battered and leaf-covered Clyde stumbling around. "Where am I?" he moaned then grew a smile. "Making out with Lor-oh….no…." his smile faltered. "That was just a dream? What was I doing-"
"Intruder alert."
The boy yelped as Fenton shot his eye beam and scanned him. The fox-bot went through his data to see if this human being was familiar to his master, and if so, if he was friend or foe.
"Identifying subject: Clyde McBride."
"Wut?" Clyde glanced at the window. He didn't know if it was due to his concussion, but he could have sworn that he was looking at a grinning fox in a purple jacket that could talk via ventriloquism?
"Relationship status with Master Lisa? Not friend. Status: Personal nuisance." Fenton considered whether that qualified him as foe? The matter in which he would deal with the intruder hinged on that question.
Charles reared up next to him and the moment he saw Clyde, he started barking at him viciously. Fenton was starting to pass judgment. Domesticated dog were bioengineered guards after all.
Furthermore, hacking into the security footage showed him that Clyde was, in fact, the one who set off the silent alarm, which Lisa had specifically designed to detect people or animals that weren't part of the Loud clan entering the perimeter while the owners of the house were all absent. The data on Clyde was anything but flattering anyway.
"Final verdict: Foe. Course of action: Termination."
Clyde squeaked as Fenton's pupils turned a hellish red and barely dodged his eye blasts, which shot a chunk out of the tree trunk behind him. Clyde screamed like a little girl and ran like the wind, bolting down the street while avoiding getting fried by further eye blasts.
"Daddy! Daddy! Help me!"
Marceline joined Charles and the robot, enjoying watching the intruder run like a little baby. Perhaps this creepy walking tin can wasn't so bad after all?
The conclusion to this mini-story was meant to come out like a month ago, right after I posted the last chapter, but these writer's blocks come at random, among other things. This final result ended up being yet another 20,000-word chapter and I felt like the subplots with Lynn and Renee as well as the scene with the pets and Fenton were derailing the pacing of the main story (partially because I wrote the Lynn and Renee one after finishing the main one), so I split this chapter in two and wrapped up the two subplots here. Part two is pretty much finished and should come out any day now. As per tradition, the chapter after this one will be a much-needed breather chapter given how this story has once again reached "flue zombie" levels of craziness.
