Another breather chapter.
"….and lastly, on late-night news, yesterday's alleged break-in at Tisdale Towers has many of its guests gripped with fear about losing their own lavish possessions." Katherine Mulligan reported from the news station, struggling to keep a straight face.
She proceeded to make air quotes. "I say "alleged" because, as you're about to hear, this story is….rather preposterous. Esteemed pageant judge and host, Donnie Dufresne, has been reluctant to talk about his harrowing experience, but after some persuasion, I've managed to get an exclusive interview with him. This is what he said."
The footage cut to Mulligan offering her mike to the shaken Dufresne, who was sitting on his bed with a blanket wrapped around him and holding a cup of hot coco, next to him was one of the guards. Seeing him like this made Lincoln feel a twang of guilt.
"Mr. Dufresne? You claim to have been assaulted and held hostage in your own suite, while the thieves stole the applications for your latest beauty pageant for young girls?" Mulligan asked in a conceited tone.
"Y-yes!" the traumatized man blurted, his bloodshot eyes staring into the camera. "It was h-horrible, uns-speakable! Unfathomable! I thought I was alone, I drew my bath and came out to retrieve my rubber ducky when, bam! A bag was thrown over me and they tied me up, leaving me on the floor as they robbed me blind! I….I thought they were going to mur-"
"Uh-huh…very riveting." Mulligan seemed less than interested. "And did you get a good look at your assailants?"
"No!" Dufresne shook, barely keeping himself together. "I told you, I couldn't see anything. All I heard were their voices…and, I know this might seem hard to believe, but they sounded like children?" Mulligan snickered off-screen.
"I'm telling you, news lady. These were some master thieves!" the guard insisted while making wild gestures with his hands.
Hearing this put a smile on Ryan's face. "Yup, I'm pretty awesome."
"One of my colleges thought he heard footsteps in the hall and rushed towards it, but found no sign of anybody! Then, when I came to Mr. Dufresne's aid, I was blinded by smoke bombs and they escaped through the window in mere seconds! They were like ninjas!"
Mulligan couldn't keep it in any longer, and she burst with laughter, as the camera moved back to her.
"Right, right. Child ninjas broke in to steal some applications for a beauty pageant?" she replied sarcastically. "Well, I'm no detective, but it's obvious that they must have been two of the participants, trying to eliminate their competition before they could even come near the stage?"
"No, no…they sounded like boys. Both of them. I heard them quite clearly." Dufresne insisted, making Lynn fume.
The footage froze and zoomed out, cutting back to Mulligan in the news station. "And there you have it, folks. It seems either that Donnie Dufresne organized some elaborate and frankly nonsensical publicity stunt or Royal Woods is home to some new ninja burglars that seriously need to get a life. This is Katherine Mulligan, reporting to you-"
Ryan changed the channel, no longer finding much enjoyment in the news report. That reporter sure was annoying.
"You think that was real?" Lucy asked the others. Lincoln and Lynn shifted uneasily.
"Pffffttt…..nah. Just more junk news, Spooky." Ryan shrugged. "They tend to rear their ugly head on slow news days, which I assume are a daily occurrence in this sleepy, little town."
"Sigh….when's Renee going to come back? We still haven't heard anything about Lana?"
"If we come to pay her a visit, I'm sure Renee will blow a fuse." Lincoln reminded her, hoping the little tomboy would be alright.
It was almost half an hour past midnight. Obviously, the kids' "caring" babysitter had not intended for them to stay up this late, but circumstances made her forget about enforcing any kind of curfew. After the story she was told, a curfew was at the very bottom of Renee's priorities.
For Lincoln, Lynn and even Ryan, this was a very unnerving moment. Renee was not the sort of person you could keep a secret from easily and she knew how to squeeze the truth out of you without resorting to any physical interrogation techniques and she now had a very detailed account of their feud with Lyle, as well as another revelation that even for someone as hardened as her, was quite the mind screw.
They, along with Lucy were currently awaiting her return, while being on the edge of their seats. But at least there was one thing that helped alleviate the tension, and he came to affectionately lick Lynn's face.
"Charles, I can't believe you're back…." Lynn cupped the dog's face and petted him, along with Lincoln. The two of them were sitting on the living room couch, along with Lucy and Ryan, who was holding Marceline.
Charles return was defiantly a welcome surprise and a much needed break after all the crap they endured this night.
"Look at his neck? The wounds are gone?" Lincoln was still at a loss for words as he checked out the dog's neck, unable to believe his own eyes. The canine was overall a lot livelier than the last time they had seen him.
"I see that too, but y'know….after all the shit tonight, I'm not going to question a good thing happening, mystery or not." Lynn replied.
"Sigh. Perhaps he came across the same serum Lola used on Lyle?" Lucy, sitting next to Lincoln, suggested. "I mean, rapid healing? This would be some coincidence if it wasn't connected to Lisa's strength-enhancing serum."
"That would explain the state of your house." Ryan shrugged, leaning on the armrest next to Lynn. He looked down on Marceline, starting to understand why she looked so shell-shocked.
"But didn't Lisa's creep-bot say the house was wrecked by "intruders"?" Lynn asked.
"And wouldn't that imply that Lola has more of it stashed in her room? The room she's currently locked in?" Lucy asked. Lincoln paled and rose to his feet.
"We've got to get to her!" he urged the others. "If she touches that stuff again, she could-"
"Do not be alarmed. Security footage shows that subject. Lola had only purloined one container. Of Master Lisa's imperfect serum." They heard Fenton's robotic voice, accompanied by the sound of mechanical movement as he waddled towards them, carrying a tool kit.
"What are you rambling about?" Lynn asked irritably. "What does "purloined" mean?"
"It's a synonym for stealing, Lynn. Try reading a book once in your life."Lucy lectured her, earning a dirty glare.
"What do you mean "security footage"?" Ryan raised an eyebrow. "Does Lizzie have this whole house bugged?"
"That's classified."
Ryan rolled his eyes and turned to the others. "Yup, she has planted hidden cameras all over the place."
The siblings were varying degrees of shocked and furious hearing about that implication, but what Fenton said next diverted their attention.
"What I am permitted to tell you. Is that the canid known as Charles. Has only inhaled a small. Percentage of the serum. In the form of a small puddle, which. The ignoramus known as Lola. Has failed to notice upon her departure. And although he did experience an. Episode, it only lasted for. Exactly one minute and 47 seconds."
"If Lizzie's such a genius, can't she make you speak without making awkward pauses?" Ryan snarked.
"I am displeased with the. Limitations of my. Vocal processors. But I do not wish to bother. My master, unless she wishes. To upgrade me."
"Wait, wait. Go back a bit." Lincoln cut in. "Who were those intruders? If Charles didn't wreck the place, then who did?"
"That would be the deceased amphibian. Known as Hops." Hearing that, the kids widened their eyes, except for Lucy.
"Hops is dead?" she asked.
"What?" Lynn blurted. "Hops died? How?"
"Affirmative. As for how? He absorbed large quantities. Of the serum through his. Glandular skin, and went on a rampage. I calculated he would pose. A threat to my master's well-being upon her return. So I took the necessary precautions."
His optics suddenly projected an image onto the wall, or more precisely, a short film. It showed Hops croaking next to the telephone stand, then, he was hit by a pair of laser beams and reduced to a smoldering pile of ash.
The kids were left slack-jawed, except for Lucy, who looked at the telephone stand and found Hops, or what was left of him, still standing there.
"That pile of ash used to Hops?"
"I…..ah…" Lincoln's jaw was hanging wide upon, unable to form words to describe what he had just witnessed.
"You shitting me? Lana's gonna lose it!" Lynn pulled on her hair. "Guys, we gotta find a new Hops before she finds out."
"Forget the frog." Ryan whacked her in the head before leaning closer to whisper. "That thing has a death ray? We need to disassemble it before it pulls a HAL 900 on us."
"My audio receptors heard that. And it's hurtful to. Generalize other sentient beings."
Ryan scooted away from the robot, thoroughly creeped out. Lincoln looked at him with even more horror. He was reluctant to know what Fenton had done with the other intruder.
"You…you said "intruders", as in plural? There was another?"
"Correct. Fortunately for him. He understood that he. Was not welcome." Fenton projected a second film onto the wall, showing how he dealt with the other intruder. "He was responsible for the. Shattered window. And for setting off the silent alarm."
"Daddy! Daddy! Help me!"
"Clyde?!" Lincoln gaped, but the others erupted with laughter.
"Oh, man! That's rich!" Ryan pointed at the screen. "Look at him run!"
"I was right. Even the biggest wimps can unleash their inner speedster with proper motivation." Lynn added.
"Guys, this isn't funny!"
"No, it's hilarious!" Lynn countered.
"Nah, it's freaking hysterical!" Ryan added.
"But I can't take full credit. For his eviction." Fenton added humbly and showed another film, this time it was overhead security cam footage. "Upon his intrusion. Charles and Marceline acted accordingly. As proper guard animals should."
The room erupted with more laughter. "He's still wearing that gay musketeer suit?" Ryan snickered.
"Good boy, Charles." Lynn patted the bull terrier's head. "Put those skills to use when a real burglar shows up."
"I'm surprised he woke up from his coma this fast." Lucy added.
"Can you play the full film?" Ryan turned to the fox-bot, conveniently forgetting that he was talking to a death machine in the guise of a children's toy.
"Movie night is over." the voice everyone was dreading to hear cut through and all laughter died down.
Renee came storming in, making Marceline hiss at her, while Charles whimpered and scurried off to hide under the armchair. The kids all gulped.
She first turned to Fenton. "I believe you've been given an order."
"Yes, Temporary Master Renee." Fenton bowed and walked off.
"Did he call you "master"?" Lincoln looked at her.
"I thought that tin can only listens to Lisa's voice?" Lynn asked.
Renee narrowed her eyes and folded her arms. "Our resident mad scientist was gracious enough to order her abomination to obey my command for the remainder of my stay."
"Well, that's terrifying." Ryan snarked.
"So I appointed him to do some repairs." Renee continued and the kids saw Fenton carrying a brand new window glass.
"You trust that thing to fix the house?" Ryan quipped. "Lizzie's inventions have a tendency to go bad, y'know?"
"I've inferred that." Renee said, barely containing her anger, as she started pacing back and forth. "So, let's recap tonight's events, shall we? One of you kids I was supposed to be watching consumed dangerous drugs and I had to run across town like an idiot to catch her before she got herself killed. Two, the rest of you-"
"How's Lana?" Lynn cut in, earning a disapproving glare from Renee.
"I did not give you permission to speak-"
"How. Is. Lana!" Lynn repeated, more firmly, her body language sending an unsubtle challenge.
Renee slapped her forehead and groaned. "According to Lisa, her vitals are all fine. The psycho-stimulant meth has run its course. She should be waking up by morning with no ill effects, but Lisa will continue to monitor her, just in case."
The others let out a collective sigh of relief, except for Ryan, who was confused/startled by the revelation.
"Wait? Lana was on meth?"
"Yes, it would appear she didn't heed the oldest warning in the book for little miscreants and took candy from a stranger; probably the obese man in the conspicuous trench coat and fedora." Renee replied uncaringly, annoying Lynn greatly.
"You don't care about that, do ya?" Lynn spat out those words.
"We're both happy that she wasn't hurt, if for very different reasons." Renee replied coldly and continued pacing. Lynn was ready to jump her when Ryan seized her shoulder.
"Let it go….she's plenty pissed already."
"I heard that. Swearing is against the rules." Renee turned sharply at him. "Don't think I've forgotten about the house rules."
"Astounding." Ryan did a slow clap. Renee ignored him and continued pacing.
"Can we see Lana?" Lincoln asked.
"No. You'll see her in the morning."
"She's our sister!" Lynn tensed up again. "We have a right to see her-"
"I'm in charge, my rules." Renee reminded her. "And watching that brat snoozing should be the least of your worries."
"As I was saying, I don't think I need to explain to you idiots that tonight, everything that could have gone wrong has gone wrong, and then some. Besides Lana's meth run, the rest of you were kidnapped, assaulted, strangled, molested and, oh yes, I just found out that one of the children I'm watching is a mad scientist who is responsible for creating, among numerous other things, a serum that, coincidently, fell into the hands of some hooligan with a vendetta against my idiot brother, which resulted in tonight's oh so fun escapade." She explicitly pointed at Ryan and then at Lincoln, specifically at their bruised faces.
"So, as you can gather, to say I'm ticked off after all of this would be a major understatement!" Renee stomped her foot, making Lincoln, Lucy and Marceline flinch.
"Yes, we've established tonight was a lousy night." Ryan said, unfazed by her outburst. "I didn't enjoy it any more than you did, less so in fact, considering I was the one getting pummeled. So what do you want from us? I think my buds went through enough sh….misery tonight?"
"First off…." His sister leaned at him. "Why didn't you inform me that I would be dealing with a child scientist with a knack for inventing dangerous serums?" she turned towards the siblings. "Or, alternatively, why didn't your parents inform me about that?"
"Because…." Ryan smirked, knowing he had the upper hand, "….because, if we had told you that, you would have thought that we were all nuttier than a fruitcake, and Mr. L wanted a capable babysitter."
"…..good point." Renee replied through clenched teeth. It was underhanded, but it was easy to see why they resorted to it. "Oh, well. At least I can charge them extra money, given how my contract has a strict rule against clients giving me incomplete accounts about the hazards I would have to face."
"See…" Ryan scoffed "…you'll profit from it."
"Not quite." Her scowl returned. "No if this permanently damages my reputation."
"Your reputation? Figures?" Ryan snorted and looked away. "Me getting beat to an inch of my life? That's negotiable damage?"
"Don't get cute with me, Ryan." Renee warned him.
"Look at this?" he pointed at the massive bruise on his cheek. "I collected this shiner doing the job you were incapable of doing, looking out for these fellas." He pointed at the Loud siblings.
Renee seized him by the wrist. "Don't test me." She said dangerously. "The only reason all of this happened in the first place, is because you couldn't suppress your urge to start fights wherever you go."
Lynn couldn't take it. "He didn't-"
"Oh, right. And I guess it's also somehow my fault that some creep gave Lana drugged candy?" Ryan pointed at himself. "Or was it because you couldn't control your urge to twist the knife while proclaiming your assumption that her dear puppy dog croaked? Which, by the by, you were totally wrong about." He pointed at the cowering Charles.
"Meaning, you pointlessly set this whole fiasco into motion. If Lana hadn't gone to that bathroom, she wouldn't have gone crazy, therefore, Blondy and Moon Girl would not have had the opportunity to slip away, meaning we wouldn't have had to split up and I'm pretty sure you and Lynn could have moped the street with Lyle. Problemo avoided. But thanks to you, that's not what happened. So in the end, totally your fault, Ren." Ryan leaned back, happy at how he had twisted everything so all the fingers were pointing at his sister.
"Huh? He's got you there, oh master babysitter?" Lynn scoffed and folded her arms.
Lincoln and Lucy grew nervous as Renee's nostrils flared up and she seemed ready to kill everyone in this room. Lynn braced herself for a brawl.
But instead, Renee once again went through her breathing exercise to calm herself.
"So, you still think this is Ryan's fault?" Lynn challenged her.
"How….how did you meat this Lyle idiot?" Renee asked strenuously, trying very hard to keep herself form snapping.
"We told you already." Lynn glowered.
"The real story." Renee corrected her. "The one where you two started the fight?"
"We didn't start the fight!" Lynn turned red. "That creep and his goons attacked us!"
"This may come as a surprise to you, and to be frank, even me?" Ryan pointed at himself smarmily. "But I was indeed trying to be a good boy. New home, new friends, new start. Me and Lynn were just going for a swim, and then ended up in a situation where we had to defend ourselves, as hard as that might be for you to believe."
"Give me one reason to believe you two?"
Ryan's face fell and he shook his head. "You wouldn't believe me even if I had filmed every single brawl we had with him, now would you?"
"Renee, they are telling you the truth." Lincoln spoke up.
"You weren't with them." Renee shut him down. "You can't attest."
"I can, you can interview every single kid in the neighborhood if you want to?" he scowled. "They'll all tell you the same thing; Lyle lives to bully others."
"What you described sounded a lot worse than mere bullying. Even before doing new-age drugs; that Lyle sounded like a very….unhinged child."
"Yes he is." Lincoln narrowed his eyes. "And Ryan? Ryan risked his neck to save us. Look at him? How do you think he got those bruises?"
"How does that matter?" Renee asked coldly.
"How about you don't focus on "who started it" and instead try to focus on the fact that Lyle kept attacking us after that? You can ask me, Lucy, Luan, Lisa and even Lola? Our stories will line up. We never went looking for trouble with him, he came after us. The only reason him and my sister…" he pointed at Ryan and Lynn "….continued fighting that creep, is because they were defending us." He gestured at himself and Lucy. Ryan was rather surprised to hear Lincoln standing up for him?
Suddenly, Lincoln slouched and let out a long sigh. What he said next came as a surprise.
"I admit. It was a huge mistake to keep quiet about this, we should have told our parents about this right away and sorted it out peacefully. I regret agreeing with their stupid idea and even encouraging it, but I want to rectify that now."
The others stared at him in surprise, which included Renee, oddly enough. She was somewhat unnerved by what he was suggesting.
They all certainly spoke with a lot of conviction, but conviction could be fabricated by skilled liars, a category her brother fit neatly into. But ultimately, whether they were truthful or not didn't matter. None of that could erase the disaster that happened tonight. All Renee could do now was intense damage control.
"Lucy, I'm sorry for not listening to you." Lincoln told the goth but couldn't face her and buried his face into his palms. "I was such a fool, such a fool…."
At a loss for words, Lucy gently touched his arm.
"That would be ill-advised."
"What?" Lincoln looked at Renee incredulously.
"Saying anything about today's mishap wouldn't be beneficial for any of us."
The others started to glower at her, even Ryan.
"Oh, so it wouldn't smear your precious reputation?" Lynn spat.
"Yes, my motives are entirely self-serving." Renee admitted, seeing no shame in doing so. "And so should yours be, or do you not comprehend the full picture?"
"Full picture?" Lincoln's brow knitted.
Renee's face hardened. "Think about it? This Lyle kid went on a rampage and destroyed property with his bare hands before being apprehended by the police. That's a pretty big offense. If you think getting in trouble for breaking vases with a soccer ball is bad, you haven't seen anything yet." She glanced at Lynn specifically, who returned the death glare.
"He's going to be tied up in legal battles for a very long time and after what he's done, he can kiss his freedom goodbye for the foreseeable future. Fortunately for you, and by extension, for me. And if he indeed has amnesia, like you say he has, all the more fortunate. But, they will find out that he's been taking some new and experimental substances, make no mistake, and if they trace those back to you Louds, it will make you liable and coconspirators in this crime."
The siblings paled hearing that. The full ramifications of this event hadn't fully dawned on them until now, though Ryan and Lincoln could very well envision the consequences of this becoming public knowledge, especially after they themselves had called Lisa a threat to humanity that needed to be locked up.
"Unless, we stay quiet about this? Never tell your parents or anyone else. Your feud with this idiot is not my concern, believe me. You can tell them how Lyle was picking on you if you must, but if you're remotely sensible, you'll keep quiet about your last encounter with him. You were never there."
"That's exactly what I was saying." Ryan perked up. "I always like seeing your underhanded side, sis."
"It's a necessary evil." Renee retorted. "Unfortunately…."
Lynn made a face. "You're kidding? You're actually willing to….help us cover this up?"
"For a lack of a better term, yes, yes I am." Renee nodded. "Doing otherwise won't be to your benefit, or mine. Our respective goals, while both self-serving, are not mutually exclusive, quite the opposite in fact."
"So, you're agreeing that everything we've talked about tonight stays between us?" Lincoln blinked.
"I really wish I didn't have to make this deal." Renee said in a frosty tone, glaring at her brother again. "I don't know what possessed me to take up a job offered by you, I should have been smarter than that. But my lapse in judgment has led me into this mess and now the only remaining way to save face is by reaching an agreement with you miscreants."
"You'd be surprised how often she has to do this." Ryan "whispered" to the others, intentionally yanking Renee's chains.
"Knock it off…." Lynn pushed him slightly before facing Renee. "So your lips are sealed?"
"Yes, as my cretin of a brother might phrase it, "no harm, no foul". All you need to do now is convince the rest of the girls that took part in this event to stay quiet. I have a feeling Lisa won't be an issue, but as for the others….."
"We'll get them to shut up, just as long as you do not snitch on us." Lynn continued, eager to end this. As much of a self-serving scumbag as Renee was, this was a golden opportunity to get her off their back.
"Then we have nothing left to discuss." Renee put her hands behind her back. "It's late. Take a shower first, because you all reek, then it's off to bed. It's long past your curfew. Goodnight." With that, she strolled into the kitchen, leaving the siblings dumbfounded.
"I…I did not expect that to happen." Lynn scratched her head.
"I did." Ryan admitted, much to the others' surprise.
"What? I know my sister." He shrugged. "Besides, it's not hard to see how blabbing about Lyle wouldn't be the smartest idea for her. If word got out about what happened tonight, she would be deemed the worst babysitter in history."
"Why didn't you tell us about that?" Lincoln scowled. "We were scared out of our wits!"
The other boy smirked. "Call it schadenfreude."
Lynn and Lincoln rolled their eyes.
"Besides, me and Renee are hardly alike, but we do have one crucial thing in common: we don't follow principles, we do the smart thing. We're both hardboiled cynics after all."
Lynn sighed and shook her head. "At least our cover wasn't blown."
"Speaking of covers? Didn't you promise me to let me in on a certain secret, Lincoln?" Lucy glanced at her brother.
"Are you out of your gourd?" Lynn threw her arms up. "He was beaten to a bloody pulp; let him have some rest first."
"I was attacked too, and I have the bruises to prove it." Lucy pointed at her checks. "While you were busy hunting Lana."
Lynn became enraged. "You think that was fun for me? Chasing Lana over buildings? Worrying every second that she would fall to her death?! You think I had a jolly romp!"
"Girls, please don't fight." Lincoln said weakly as he raised his hands. "Lucy's right, I will tell her everything tonight, as I promised. I've delayed it long enough and it's the least we can do after dragging her into this quagmire. Stalling it will only make things worse, I know that now."
"Lucy…" he turned to her "…I can't express how sorry I am for getting you and the others into this. If any of you had gotten hurt tonight, I don't know…" his voice trailed off as he wiped a tear from his eye.
"Lincoln?" Lucy said meekly. "I'm…I'm not angry at you. This wasn't all…."
"Well, yeah. You can't pin the blame on us." Ryan started. "Lizzie was the one who made the serum, and Pinky was the one who stole it and squirted it all over Lyle."
"Regardless. If we had fessed up earlier, it wouldn't have come to any of this." Lincoln countered sullenly.
"You're still here, off to bed! I'm checking on you in twenty minutes!"
Hearing Renee's voice, Lincoln stood up and took Lucy's hand. "Come on, guys."
The two of them headed upstairs, and Lynn and Ryan followed them, accompanied by their pets.
"Not to be a jerk, but what should we do with Lizzie and Pinky?" Ryan briskly pointed out. "They are responsible for Lyle going berserk."
"Yeah, Lisa made a promise to stop with her crazy experiments?" Lynn added.
Lincoln stopped halfway up the stairs. "I know you two, and especially you Ryan, wish to kill her for this."
"Not kill her per say. Just hurt her real, real bad." Ryan folded his arms.
"I understand where you're coming from, believe me, we went through the same ordeal after all. But in spite of all that, we have to be fair with Lisa. Lola stole that flask from her weeks before Lisa made her promise."
"Jeez Louise, you oughta be in the Guinness Book of Records for patience and forgiveness." The bemused Ryan rolled his eyes. "If I were in your shoes, I'd have sent her to be adopted by some hermit scientist living in Antarctica."
"So we're just gonna let her off the hook for this?" Lynn asked sourly.
"Lynn…" Lincoln sighed "….it's been a long night. We need to sleep, or at least you will. We'll have plenty of time to talk about this tomorrow."
"You're not going to catch zs?" Ryan asked.
"Not until I fulfill my promise to Lucy."
Ryan smirked. "As much as I like slumber parties, I'm glad I can sleep this one out. My whole body hurts like hell."
"But speaking of that…" Lynn pointed out "…aren't me and Lucy still roommates? And you and Ryan are roommates by default? Renee won't let us switch things up."
"The killjoy." Ryan smirked at the girl.
"Didn't you have a plan, Lucy?" Lincoln turned to the goth, and she nodded.
"I do." She gestured for them to huddle together. They leaned down to do so and she whispered her plan.
"That's your plan?" Lynn scoffed.
"I like it, Luce. Simple and effective." Lincoln nodded.
"Well, all that's left now is for each of us to grab a quick shower." Ryan erected himself and smelled his armpit. "All the easier then to pull the ol' switcheroo."
They heard the bathroom door opening, letting out a large trail of steam as Luan stepped out, wearing her yellow bathrobe and a towel wrapped around her head.
"Luan?" Lucy walked up to her. "How are you feeling?"
"Oh, hey Lucy?" the not-so-chipper comedian said meekly. "Sorry I wasn't there, I…." she rubbed her arm "….I needed to take a long shower. Renee wasn't too harsh on you?"
"Hi, Luan? Actually, she was surprisingly cooperative." Lincoln joined them.
"What?"
"She agreed to stay quiet about this whole mess." Ryan joined in, shrugging. "What? You thought tonight's mishap would look good on her resume as a babysitter? She knows better than that."
Luan blinked. "She…she's not going to tell about Lyle?" she sounded more saddened than relieved by it, and everyone knew why.
"She won't." Lincoln confirmed. "But we've had a talk and…." He sighed, briefly glancing at Lucy. "This might give our folks plenty of grief, but it's about time we came clean about Lyle. Tell them about everything, except the whole, y'know….what happened tonight."
"About…."
"Yes, everything that happened tonight." Lincoln sighed. "I think…I think we should put a pin on that, until mom and dad are….ready to hear such harrowing news. You know neither of them is doing too great right now, and this would be a huge bombshell to drop on them."
"I….I…understand…" Luan glanced aside. She couldn't blame them if they completely flipped out. If she herself had merely heard about this incident, instead of actually witnessing it, she didn't know how she would have handled it? This coming so soon after her Prankmageddon also wouldn't be the best of timing. "Too soon I guess? But the…"
"The rest? We'll tell them the rest. Everything up until Ryan left him K.O-ed on those trashbags, if you want to?"
"Yeah…eh…" Ryan scratched the back of his head. "I'm not a fan of…..telling such things to grown-ups and such, but after what that lowlife did today, it was an eye-opener. Can't keep quiet about such things, they'll only get worse if you do. And I guess whatever meager punishment we might suffer because of this is nothing compared to the crap we endured tonight."
Luan looked aside again, not sure if she wanted to tell her parents about what Lyle did to her? It felt humiliating, demeaning, and she would rather have as few people knowing about it as possible.
"Ryan? You actually think you're going to get punished for this?" Lucy walked up to the boy, sounding rather confused.
Ryan's crest fell and he sighed. "Well…remember my comment about how grown-ups punish everyone equally? That's why I don't like snitching-"
"But why? You did nothing wrong?" Lucy didn't follow. "You protected us. Without you, we could have gotten seriously injured, or worse."
"Look…" Lincoln hesitantly placed his hand on Ryan's shoulder. "You don't have to worry about getting in trouble, trust me on this. Our parents are very reasonable, and we will all back you up on this if necessary. If you're worried someone will spin this to make you look like the bad guy, that won't happen."
"Eh…yeah…sure." Ryan brushed his hand off and took a step back. "Look, I'm not worried." He insisted adamantly. "I just know from….. experience….that grown-ups have a very screwed-up sense of justice."
"That won't be the case here. You were a hero tonight, Ryan." Luan finally spoke and gently grabbed his hand. "And we'll make sure everyone knows it."
"Eh…..don't use that word specifically." Ryan didn't like being called such a thing out and proud. "Just say I had your back, as your friend."
Standing in the back of the group, Lynn felt irritated watching the two of them get this close, but she made no comment. Her issues with Luan aside, she was still her sister and what Lyle did to her was quite horrendous. It really made it all the more upsetting that she didn't get to witness him get his sweet comeuppance.
Lynn cleared her throat. "Eh…hey, Luan?" she tentatively walked up to the comedian, catching her off guard and prompting her to jerk her hand back.
"I…eh…" Lynn started, not exactly being a champ at sensitivity.
"I heard what happened with Lyle. I….I'm sorry I wasn't there to teach him a lesson about respecting a girl's personal space, but I guess Ryan did the job for me?"
Luan blinked, unsure how to respond. She would have preferred not talking about it entirely, but she supposed she couldn't blame Lynn for feeling the need to acknowledge it, along with everything else Lyle did to them tonight.
"Yeah….he…did…" she said in a small voice, once again feeling vulnerable and on edge just reminiscing about the incident.
"Well, I'm glad you're alright." Lynn awkwardly patted her back, her remark being entirely sincere.
Sensing her unease, Lincoln cleared his throat. "Eh….do you need anything, or do you want to go to bed?"
"Yeah…." She sighed "….look, I appreciate your support, and I don't want to be mean….but…"
"But what, sis?"
"Well…..I'd rather be alone for now, get some sleep and get my thoughts straight." She said meekly and walked past them. "I'll be fine, really."
She stopped as she noticed the two pets standing by them. "Oh? Hey, Charles? Glad to see you back."
The dog stepped back a bit, evidently nervous. Luan looked crestfallen, recalling her April Fools tradition again.
"Hey, this gives me an idea." Ryan grabbed Marceline and handed her over to Luan. "Take her with you. Trust me, having a cat by you while you take a rest soothes the soul."
"Oh, thank you…" Luan smiled, feeling a little better as the savannah didn't show any hesitance and purred pleasantly.
"And between you and me, I think Marcy had a nasty fright tonight as well." Ryan revealed. "I think it had something to do with Lana's frog somehow getting a taste of the same serum as Lyle and tossing my poor kitty and Charlie there around like ragdolls."
"That's why the living room was wrecked?" Luan blinked, utterly dumbfounded.
"Yeah, among other things…." Lincoln looked aside, slightly embarrassed.
"Ryan's right. Fang's presence always helps me to cope with my never-ending despair." Lucy chimed in.
"And if it's any consolation…..you have your room all to yourself tonight." Lincoln added, pitying Luna and her current predicament.
Luan nodded "Thanks….see ya in the morning…."
"Kay, but if you need anything, remember, we're all across the hall." Ryan reminded her; she stopped and gave him a quick smile, before entering her room with Marceline and closing the door.
"You think she's going to be alright?" Lynn asked.
"Don't know, she seems pretty shaken up?" Ryan shrugged. "But a night's worth of rest oughta help a little."
"I guess you're right, we'll see how she's doing in the morning." Lincoln replied.
"And it was nice of you to offer her Marceline as a comfort animal." Lucy smiled at Ryan.
"I guess….oh!" Ryan slapped his forehead, as he remembered something. "Speaking of gifts? I felt kinda bad about ditching you guys. So…" he reached into his pocket "…a bought something for a special someone. But I didn't want to show it in front of Luan, didn't want to upset her."
Lynn looked at him eagerly, her heart racing, but her face fell as he pulled out a small charred skull and handed it to Lucy.
"Hope you like it, Spooky." He turned on the switch and the skull toy started glowing through every opening it had, illuminating an eerie, ectoplasm-green light. "Doubles as a nightlight."
"Wow….." the goth marveled at the trinket "…thank you."
Lynn grumbled and looked away. Lincoln noticed it but made no comment, though he was slightly amused. Knowing Ryan, it wasn't unlikely that the latter worded it like he did just to get a rise out of Lynn.
"Okay, guess now's the time to go to bed, which means you and me, Lucy, need to-"
"Yeah, but first we gotta pay a certain egghead a visit." Lynn cut him off as she started walking towards Lisa's room and grabbed the handle, only to find the door locked.
"What the-"she grunted in frustration and started knocking on the door. "Lisa! Hey, Lisa! Open up!"
They got no response, which only angered the jock further. "Quit playing games, we know you're in there and we wanna see Lana!"
On the other side, Lisa stood silently below the door handle, unwilling to let them in. She couldn't face them, not after what happened tonight. She looked back at Lana, who was sleeping peacefully under a blanket on the operating table, the same one she was strapped to when she caught the flue.
"Lisa! I'm serious!"
"Lynn." Lincoln grabbed her shoulder. "Let her be, I think she has a lot on her mind right now, just like Luan. We'll talk to her tomorrow."
Groaning, Lynn yanked her shoulder free and crouched down to look through the keyhole.
"What do you see?" Lincoln asked.
"Lana's asleep."
"Does she look alright?"
"I think so. That sedative must have packed quite a punch."
"I guess she is all better." Ryan shrugged. "I doubt Renee would keep any secrets from us, considering this affects her too."
"What's taking so long! Get cleaned! Go to bed!"
They all flinched at the loud voice from downstairs.
"We better not incur her wrath." Lucy advised.
"We're going, we're going, your Bossy-ness! Yeesh!" Lynn shouted down.
"Okay, you girls go first. I'll…bring our disguises." Lincoln started.
Renee soon came upstairs to check on the miscreants. It was insane to be awake past 1 a.m, only hooligans and riffraff did that, and she wanted to end it and forget about this gratuitous breach of her principles as soon as possible.
She found the corridor empty, but someone was in the bathroom, as evident by the sound of water pouring from the shower. Renee found two doors open. In the first room she checked, she found Lucy, wearing striped pajama pants and a plain white t-shirt, sitting alone on her bed, or rather coffin. Renee was way too exhausted to be disturbed by it.
Noticing her, Lucy spoke. "Just waiting for Lynn to come."
Huffing, Renee walked off to the other room, expecting her brother and Lincoln to be there. Long and behold, she was right. She found her brother resting on the first bed in line, with his hands behind his head.
"So, is Felton being a good little worker bot?" Ryan asked her casually, eyes closed. "Fixing up the house so Mr. and Mrs. L won't know about your lackluster performance?"
Renee's face hardened but she remained composed. Looking over to the other bed, she found the back of Lincoln's snowy-white head facing her, as he snored softly. Below him, resting next to the bed was Charles, who looked at her uneasily.
"You don't have a problem with Charlie joining this manly slumber party?"
"No slumber party." Renee said stiffly. "You're going to sleep."
"As much as I would love to defy you out of spite, I'm seriously popped tonight, Renny." Ryan smirked smarmily. "So don't fret, I promise no late-night shenanigans."
"For once, I'm comfortable believing you." his sister shrugged, not out of trust but rather out of the physical evidence in front of her confirming the battered and bruised Ryan's claim.
"I'm surprised you picked this room though." She took notice. They were in Lori and Leni's room.
"Meh….last time, me and him bunked in Lizzie's room. It was defiantly more interesting and less girly, but I ain't complaining." Ryan sighed comfortably. Effeminate or not, this bed was comfy, which is something his broken bones desperately needed.
Plus, using Leni's bed while that diabolical mastermind was left to fester in the bunker was the ideal middle finger to give her.
"Then I'm glad her room was unavailable." Renee scoffed, horrified by the idea of putting Ryan in the same room as a mad scientist's arsenal of deadly inventions.
"How does it feel staying up late for once?" Ryan opened an eye. "Too cool for you?"
"Goodnight, Ryan…." She said not-so-gently and was about to leave when she stopped to give a final warning.
"And please refrain from pulling any idiotic pranks on Lincoln while he's asleep."
"Like I was gonna try anything with that menacing guard dog? Besides, the little guy's been through enough tonight. Even I ain't that rotten. Now beat it, before you wake him."
Rolling her eyes, Renee closed the door. As she did so, she found someone else in the hall, wearing a red bathrobe and drying her brown hair with a towel, while heading for Lucy's room.
"You better not go on any late-night excursions either, Lynn." She warned her.
"Yeah, yeah…..wouldn't want to anyway, I'm pooped. See ya…" Lynn shot back in a grouchy tone, not facing her though, and quickly closed the door behind her. Ignoring her attitude, Renee headed downstairs, happy that all of the brats finally went to bed.
Inside the unlit room, "Lynn" threw his wet wig away and dropped the bathrobe, revealing his orange pajamas.
"That went pretty well." Lucy remarked, sitting on her coffin with Fang perched on her shoulder, and holding a paper megaphone.
"Gotta say, Luce, that Lynn impression was spot on." Lincoln commented.
"Thanks, I had years of experience mocking her behind her back to vent out my ever-growing frustration with her." Lucy smiled. "And, y'know, she and I share the same voice actor, as much as it appalls me to admit it." She shuddered.
Lincoln shook his head. "Well, I'm sure Luan will find that talent of your quite interesting."
"Pffftt….why do you have to be such a dweeb, Stinkoln? Stop hanging out with those freaks and join me on the soccer field like a real boy for once!"
"Stinkoln?" Lincoln snorted. "C'mon, Luce. You're exaggerating. Even Lynn wouldn't use such a lame and juvenile insult. That sounds like something the twins would come up with."
"Well, I might be a middle schooler in body, but I'm still a toddler at heart. And I'm secretly jealous of Lucy's maturity, elaborate mind and knack for poetry."
"Okay, I did not cross-dress just so we could make fun of Lynn." Lincoln chuckled, but whatever fleeting levity there was soon disappeared for him as he realized that now was the time. There was no going back now.
Lucy got the memo and grew more serious. "Yes, you seem nervous about it?"
"Well…..what I'm about to tell you….well, it's pretty out there."
"It involves zombies, doesn't it?" Lucy asked, remembering Lisa's two brief comments.
Lincoln closed the window curtains before moving over to lock the door, wanting to secure their privacy. He exhaled dejectedly, memories of that haunting night resurfacing.
"Actually….no. That was just an unpleasant bump in the road for what me, Lynn and Ryan were really doing."
"It's unrelated?"
Lincoln sighed. He might as well get this out of the way quick and easy before getting to the important stuff. After tonight, he didn't want his little sister to be left with any lingering questions, outside of those he himself couldn't answer.
"Is she gone?"
"Sure is, "pipsqueak"." Ryan yawned while glancing at the ceiling. "But keep your voice down, she'll probably come back to check."
"Don't care, this thing is so itchy." Lynn pulled off her white wig and sat up, wearing her red shorts and red and white t-shirt.
The room was now unlit, as Ryan had turned the lights off, so to avoid rousing any suspicion.
Charles whined and wagged his tail, and Lynn petted his back. "Take it easy, big guy. I missed ya too, but keep your yap shut or else you'll alert the bummer patrol."
"Y'know, Lynn? I am the only one who felt a huge case of déjà vu tonight?" Ryan said casually between yawns. "One of Lizzie's serums falls into the wrong hands, creates monsters, or just a monster in this case, and me and Linky have to save the day while you miss all of that, and the monster in question turns back to normal with convenient amnesia? Yeesh, I hate repeats. Plus, fighting acid-spewing zombies as a ninja is way cooler than having to deal with Lyle again; that guy sucks."
"You're suggesting I got it easy?" Lynn scoffed. "Spending the evening with your sister is way more painful than dealing with a roided-up dunderhead."
"Fair point, Freckles. Nothing beats spending quality time with my sis on the anguish meter." Ryan admitted defeat.
"But still, I haven't felt this much pain in years. Seriously, not even one of your exercise routines is this aggravatingly painful."
"Oh, I can find a way to make it more painful." Lynn smirked painfully. She didn't receive an immediate response.
"Sounds…. like fun…" Ryan murmured.
Lynn chuckled, when it dawned on her where she was. She and Ryan were finally alone. No Luan, no Lucy, no Lincoln, and best of all, no Renee. She blushed impishly as some naughty thoughts entered her young mind, but she quickly pushed them away.
She wasn't ready to take that step, not yet. But then again? There was a first for everything. Or maybe? Maybe it would be easier to talk with him about some other stuff, casual things? Just to enjoy each other's company while they could? Or perhaps ask him some things regarding his home life that have been bogging her mind all night?
"Say, Ryan? If you're not too tired, would you like to talk about some stuff?"
His response was snoring and Lynn's face dropped.
"You shitting me? He nodded off?"
She exhaled and shook her head. "Guess he deserves some rest, we can catch up tomorrow."
Carefully, she walked over to him and pulled up his blanket. She stopped and considered something.
She thought about giving him a quick peck on the cheek and blushed madly, but chose against it and turned away, fearing he would wake up. Plus, kissing an unconscious person was kinda creepy.
"Guess it's just you and me, Charles." She yawned and sat back on her bed, petting her dog.
Truth be told, she too was quite exhausted and would probably nod off soon. Better makes herself comfortable then. Charles lied down next to the bed.
"I'm so glad your back, Charles. I knew you can't keep a good dog down." She said while nestling her head into the pillow. Lori would probably flip out if she knew sweaty and smelly Lynn bunked in her bed, and knowing that just made Lynn smile.
A whine directed her gaze back to the dog. "I'm sure Cliff's gonna be happy to see you. That lazy bum needs someone to keep him on his toes. Still can't believe he slept through all of that mayhem?"
This made Lynn wonder what happened to the remaining pet? They had more or less guessed that Walt went down Marceline's digestive tract. What happened to Geo though, she couldn't know. Not like Charles could tell her.
"Was it hard on you to get back home? Seems you and the others ran all the way out of town and into the woods?"
Oh, she had no idea. Charles journey back home was a tail in its own right.
"Well, I hope you didn't have another run-in with ol'One Eye? I mean, considering you're still in one piece, I guess luck was on your side and you didn't?" Good lord, if she never saw that cur again for the rest of her life, it would be too soon.
"Guess what? We had another run with him last night. Me, Lincoln and Ryan, we bumped into him while recovering a bank deposit mom lost. That mutt was persistent, I give him that, but we outmaneuvered him and gave him a run for his money, and still saved mom's money. It was quite the adventure. The best part was when we used him for target practice and pelted him with pinecones."
Charles glanced aside. Lynn didn't know if she was seeing things or not, but he looked nervous. Did he understand her or not? She was too tired to ponder.
Lynn yawned, feeling sleepy. Time to call it a night.
"Goodnight, Charles." She yawned and like that, she drifted off.
Charles rested his head down and followed suit, happy and relieved to be back home.
And so, everyone at the Loud residence spent their night a little differently.
In Luan's room, the comedian was lying in bed while stroking Marceline, who was snuggled up to her, tears welling up in her eyes as she gradually fell asleep.
In Lisa's room, the genius tried to distract herself by monitoring Lana's condition.
This eventually led to the 3-year-old scientist falling asleep face down on her desk.
Lola was sitting curled-up at the door of her room, sulking and with her throat still sore. To make things worse, she had no proper bed to sleep in, for her room was absolutely trashed, something Renee hadn't even noticed as she haphazardly threw her in and locked the door without taking a single peek inside.
At least Lana wasn't with her.
Then she noticed all of Lana's pet reptiles and amphibians crawling across the floor, having been freed after Hops had smashed their cages. Except for the snipes, unfortunately for them.
She suddenly noticed all the animals moving towards her, so she stood up and tried shooing them away, but to no avail, as she couldn't even use her infamous pipes to scare them off.
As they started coming closer, Lola let out a wheezy scream.
Fenton was busy replacing the glass of the window, when his optics noted someone being up and preoccupied fixing the torn wallpaper with a seam roller. She was wearing overalls covered in paint blotches and looked rather frazzled.
"Temporary Master Renee? Shouldn't you be resting? You organics can't function mentally. Or physically without a mandatory eight hours. Of rest?"
She turned to him and glowered with bloodshot eyes. "Shut your trap and keep working. I'm not letting you out of my sight until the work is done."
She did indeed heed her brother's warning that the robot could malfunction and she was prepared to shut him down should he experience any sort of glitch. Lisa had given her a little tech she was keeping in her pocket, which would get the job done in a second, all with the press of a button.
"Explain your reasons? This seems highly ilogica-"
"Shut up and keep working." She hissed. "That's a direct order. Do your job or I'll dispose of you at the junkyard."
"Yes, Master." Fenton obeyed and continued working, being unable to defy his programming to blindly obey his master, even if their actions didn't, in his lowly and insignificant opinion, follow any sort of logic.
"So what color am I thinking of?"
Luna covered her head with her hands, trying to sleep on one of the benches in the bunker.
Leni, however, couldn't make herself fall asleep on the hard, cold "bed" she was stuck with for the night, so her mind (what little there was) kept racing.
"Come on, it's very easy?"
"Will you shut up and try to sleep, you dingus?!" Luna snapped. How late was it now? Passage of time seemed nonexistent in the pitch-black darkness of the bunker.
"I can't sleep. This bed is so hard and cold." Leni replied sullenly.
"Not my problem, man! I just want to sleep for Swagger's sake!"
"Okay, how about you guess which number I'm thinking of? Here's a hint, it's a number between four and five? Guess?"
"AHHHHHHHHH!"
"So you're saying I was temporarily a zombie? A genuine rotting but still animated corpse?"
"Yes…" Lincoln nodded uneasily. "About as literal of a zombie as you can get."
"Cool."
The boy blinked. That was not the response…..actually, that sounded about right coming from Lucy.
"For a brief moment, I was the undead and couldn't even keep my memories of it? Just my luck." The goth grumbled to Fang.
"Maybe that's for the better." Lincoln suggested, not sure what to add to this. "I personally wouldn't cherish the memory of trying to slaughter my own family."
"Oh…yes." Lucy rubbed the back of her neck. "I guess zombies are cooler in theory than in practice, hence why they work best in fiction."
"Well, yes, you weren't exactly thrilled to experience a horror film firsthand, just like with Lyle." Lincoln pointed out, a bit smugly, though he quickly deflated.
"But then again, you were the token team member who sacrificed herself in order for the rest of us to escape zombification."
"Cool…" Lucy smiled, but her smile faltered as it became apparent that her brother didn't approve of her making light of this horrendous event.
"Um….so that was why me, Lori, Leni, Luan and the twins all suffered from amnesia?"
"And Bobby, yes. I had to "borrow" Lori and Leni's phones and send a bunch of phony messages to their friends and classmates in order to convince them this was just some elaborate "early Halloween" prank. Better that than to have countless eyewitnesses associating our family with creating zombies."
"And I assume their respective passwords were "Bobby" and "Password"?"
"Is it that obvious?" Lincoln yawned. He really wanted to sleep but they were far from over.
"Yes." Lucy nodded, still as wide-awake as a vampire in her element.
Lincoln rubbed his eyes and stood up, stretching himself and grabbing a coke he had brought along to stay awake and hydrated.
"And Ryan's a ninja? Wicked."
Lincoln rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm only telling you this because he trusted you enough to show it to you in the first place. I think it's a secret identity of his or something."
"I really regret remembering nothing."
"Lucy, as much I would love reminiscing about that particular mentally scarring experience, I think we should move on to what really matters." He took a swig and exhaled.
"The secret?" Lucy asked, her heart racing.
He had seriously dreaded this moment. As much as he trusted Lucy, Lincoln had no way of knowing how exactly she would react to this, or what ramifications this could have? They weren't going to talk about the supernatural as an abstract concept, but as a reality.
Lincoln sighed. "Yes, the secret. You might find it hard to believe, you might think I'm crazy, but what I am about to tell you is the absolute through. Nothing but the truth."
"Okay, so what is it?" she asked simply, yet there was an eagerness behind her stoic tone, one that Lincoln seldom heard. "Is it tied to every inexplicable and baffling choice or action you or Lynn have done this week?"
"More or less, except for the amnesia thing and the Lyle thing."
"I know that already." She nodded, growing steadily impatient. She had been waiting for this for so long.
Bracing himself, Lincoln sat down next to his sister's bed and crossed his legs. "Lucy, what I am about to tell you…..you gotta promise to keep quiet about it. This is something you can only discuss with me, Lynn or Ryan."
"Lincoln, you know I don't participate in many conversations?" Lucy said duly as she sat on the floor as well, facing him. "Even if I went around spilling every single thing you told me, who would listen to me? And if they did, they would just dismiss it or laugh it off as one my "weird goth things", and think no further of it."
Lincoln's expression turned sheepish and he glanced aside. "I guess you're right about that…."
"So, what is it then? I'm all ears." Lucy asked keenly.
"Here it goes…." Lincoln braced himself. "Okay, so I assume you're familiar with the concept of prophetic visions?"
"Having a vision of things to come, oftentimes bad things? Yes? Why?"
Lincoln grimaced. "Well, what if I told you that our family will split apart in less than four days?"
It's fitting how the previous chapter (chapter 40) coincided with the story surpassing 400,000 words.
I'm currently not sure how to proceed with the next chapter. It might be pointless and repetitive to have an entire chapter devoted to nothing but Lincoln recapping past events. Besides that, it's blatantly obvious what Lucy's course of action will be once Lincoln reveals the truth to her, so maybe I should just skip to the next story. The Louds' parents (as dictated by the original timeline) aren't meant to return until around the evening of the following day, so who knows what might happen in those remaining 15 hours?
After this, I'm not sure how quickly I will be able to upload the next chapter, it might take a while.
