At the hospital reception, a modest-sized group of teen "volunteers" had been called to assemble, at least the part of the group that was currently doing the "kids shift". All of them wore matching outfits, but a few new arrivals were quickly drawing all the attention, some more so than the others, on account of being half the age of the rest of them.

"They are staring at us…" Lucy mumbled, clutching the hem of her oversized shirt.

"Just ignore them, they'll stop gawking any second." Lincoln assured her, standing next to her.

"If people are eyeballing me, I know how to shut them up in no time…" "Brian" stated while raising his fist, making the kids closest to him all take a step away.

He frowned in disappointment and lowered it. "Sadly, it goes against my job description."

"I'm sure the beanie and shades look aren't drawing any attention." Lynn snarked at him.

"Don't judge me based on how I dress, person I never met before." Ryan folded his arms.

"Okay, now you're just being a try-hard." Lincoln shook his head.

"Why is your hair so white?" Lincoln pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

"Brian, if you really want to go unnoticed, then at least try acting a smidge less suspicious." Lynn rolled her eyes at him.

"Glad to see so many of you could make it today, my friends." Kathleen suddenly arrived, accompanied by a nurse, as well as Amber and Jenny, the latter of which was carrying a stack of folded clothes.

"And since I'm seeing a lot of familiar faces, I believe most of you know the drill by now…." Kathleen continued "…but if there are any questions, ask now! We have a tight schedule."

A girl, who also stood out from the group by wearing hijab of all things, raised her hand.

"Yes, Parvana, was it?"

"Eh, why are these kids here?" she pointed at Lincoln and Lucy, then at Lisa and the twins "And these toddlers? Did they come from the infirmary to personally pick a buddy?" Her question started a series of murmuring and whispering amongst the crowd.

"None of your business!" Lola roared at her, making her jolt, as well as everyone else in the vicinity.

"I thought this was a children's hospital, not a reform school?" one boy whispered to his friend.

Kathleen smiled. "They are friends of mine and I offered them a spot in our group."

Parvana only looked more puzzled. "But I thought volunteers could only be between 13 and 16?"

"It's called nepotism, Ali-Baba. We're bud with Kathy, nuff said." Ryan, who was standing next to her, snarked, much to her visible annoyance. "Nice veil by the way? You gonna fulfill some little Disney uber-fan's fantasy and take them on a magical flying carpet ride?"

Lincoln looked at him in shock, but Lynn tried to suppress a snicker.

"Oh, very funny." Parvana replied dryly and pulled on his beanie. "And what crime did you commit, Mr. Down Low?

Taken aback, Ryan stepped back and readjusted his hat. He couldn't risk revealing his identity by being his usual witty self. "You win this round, tutz." He reluctantly backed down.

"Told you." Lynn elbowed him.

Kathleen cleared her throat and gestured at the nurse standing next to her. "You remember Nurse Sarah, she'll lead the way. As for our newest members, I would like to give them some quick pointers. Oh, but you're staying, Parvana, you're on receptionist duty today."

The girl in the hijab obliged, before Kathleen motioned for the Louds and Ryan to come to her. The former was quick to raise his hands.

"Before you chew me out, I was just trying to distract Veil Girl, she was asking too many questions."

Kathleen was unamused and lectured him. "Brian, we're social workers. We're supposed to be cordial with everyone, never mind their background."

"Cut him some slack, Kath." Amber shrugged. "I mean you said way more offensive things to her at school and she still volunteered?" Kathleen gave her an annoyed look.

"You know I can hear you, right?" Parvana cut in, being at the desk right behind them. Kathleen gestured for the group to move a few yards away before continuing.

"And there is no need to cover anything, I told them the truth about how you guys got here, just not why you joined us, I don't think anyone needs to know that."

Lola fidgeted awkwardly before noticing Kathleen's gaze inevitably shift at her. "As for you, Lola, I believe I made it clear that you all need to adopt a friendly persona for this visit? Yelling is not being friendly."

"Yeah, Lola." Lana huffed. "Look at how you scared that big kid? You'll scare the bejeebers out of the little ones. I knew bringing you here was a bad idea."

Lucy snorted. "I did propose to throw her in the bunker, but I was overruled."

Lola sent them a "shut your trap" glare before shrinking and shuffling her foot as she met Kathleen's gaze.

Lincoln smiled nervously and placed both hands on Lola's shoulders. "I'm sure it was just a little slip-up. That won't happen again, Lola. Will it now?" he asked in a stern tone while retaining his strained smile. "We need this money."

Lola yanked herself free, giving him a sour look. She noticed Lynn glaring at her and clenching her fists, while Ryan was harder to read under those shades, but him just facing her and frowning told her everything she needed to know, making her gulp.

"Sure, I'll be good." She grumbled. "I just don't want people getting on my case, okay?"

Kathleen sighed. "Don't worry, Lola. Nobody will be pestering you, as long as you do your duty. Your buddies for the day won't be asking any sensitive questions."

"Pffft…I can think of ten different ways some kid could tick her off." Lana grumbled

Kathleen clapped her hands. "Alright, Lucy?"

The goth was caught off guard, not that anyone could see it behind her usual stoicism and hidden eyes.

"Eh….yes?"

"You'll be assisting Parvana to assist the receptionist. You'll get the hang of it quickly."

Lincoln, Lynn and Ryan exchanged glances. "And why can't she join the rest of us?" Ryan asked suspiciously.

Amber smiled. "Oh, it's because Kathleen is worried she'll scare-uff!" Kathleen elbowed her in the ribs to shut her up.

"It's because I think this job will be….. the best-suited for her." Kathleen "corrected" her. "I understand Lucy is a bit of a wallflower, so I think a more low-key task would be easier for her, without triggering her social anxiety."

Lincoln didn't quite agree with that. "Kathleen, that's very considerate, but I think Lucy would prefer-"

"Sigh. Whatever, you're the boss." The goth accepted.

"Are you sure, Lucy?" Lincoln asked her.

"I'm not a baby, Lincoln. I can do this without you guys chaperoning me." Lucy retorted slightly annoyed and headed towards the receptionist desk, surprising Lincoln.

"Easy there, Pasty." Lynn rolled her eyes. "We didn't mean to step on any toes." She didn't mind Lucy working separately from them. Actually, she was quite happy about it.

"You just don't botch your job, Lynn." Lucy retorted without turning around. She hated talking to other kids anyway and this gig was surely more preferable than the misery that was awaiting her siblings and friend.

"Smart move, Kathleen." Lola remarked but stepped away as she heard a low growl from Ryan.

"Well, she seems happy with her task." He noted dryly before shifting his gaze at Kathleen and her cohorts. "By the way, where's my cat?"

"Don't worry about our furry friends." Kathleen brushed him off. "You'll see her in a moment. Which reminds me?" She turned to Amber, who learned to be quiet following a physical reprimanding from her leader.

"Weren't you supposed to bring the comfort animals to the play area?"

"Oh, yes. On it, Kathy!" she bolted off.

"Now as for you guys, your task is simple. You pick a friend and help brighten their day in any way you can. If you need any props to perform tricks, or board games to play with your buddy or books to read to them, anything, you'll be supplied with them. Of course, if they wish for a more active pastime, you visit the aforementioned play area. In fact, I think a few of you shall head there right away. You see, I have invested a lot of money this last month to build and expand said play area, before that these poor kids were pretty much confined to their infirmary. You can imagine how mind-numbingly tedious that is."

"Maybe." Ryan shrugged. "A few of my escapades have put me in the infirmary for a few days." He shuddered. "Hate that place."

"That…that was a nice thing to do." Lincoln had to admit. Lynn rolled her eyes.

"But I suppose you didn't build them a basketball court or soccer field?"

"Of course not, that would be too strenuous for them." Kathleen smiled.

"Or too fun…" Lynn grumbled.

"She has a point, Lynn." Lincoln had to disagree. "I doubt any kid staying here is in tip-top condition."

"Whateves, if that's all the "pointers" we need, let just get going." Lynn retorted and pointed her finger behind her back, eager to start this as soon as possible, so it could end as soon as possible.

"You're quite right, Lynn. Punctuality is very important." Kathleen agreed. "But first off…"

"You'll need to dress properly." Jenny said as she handed everyone a new shirt. The twins and even Lisa were quite delighted to see that these ones were the right size for them.

"Are you joking?" Lynn's face betrayed pure horror as she realized that she was a holding candy striper shirt. "You want us to wear this?"

"I know it's not the most fashionable attire." Kathleen shrugged as she took her shirt. "But it's protocol."

A few minutes later, Kathleen and Jenny were leading the group through the halls on the upper floor, all of them wearing their vertically-striped hospital attire. Lola was walking ahead of them, staying close to Kathleen.

"This is just pure sadism." Ryan didn't even dare look at himself.

"I look like a walking candy cane." Lynn grumbled.

"I dunno, I think it looks kinda neat." Lana disagreed.

"Compared to our previous wardrobe, this is dignified." Lisa grumbled to herself.

"At least I can maneuver like a normal human being in this one."

"C'mon, guys. It's not so bad. It could be way worse."

Ryan snorted. "I guess you're right, Lincoln. We could have been forced to dress up as Ace Savvy characters."

"Hey." Lincoln sent him an unamused look, as he and Lynn snickered between themselves.

Lynn felt a little better. "You do make a fair point. I've seen some of his comics, and you won't believe what the lady heroes wear there? They are oddly numerous in Ace Savvy comics."

Ryan smirked at the other boy and wiggled his eyebrows knowingly. "Ah, so you do read comics for the right reasons, eh?"

"No! It's because I greatly admire Ace Savvy as a character, and his crusade for justice where he goes through plenty of trials and tribulations, making personal sacrifices-"

"And teaming up with female crime fighters in skimpy outfits?" Lynn snorted. "Like that one who literally just wears a swimsuit with a sweatband and knee and elbow pads? Who in their right mind fights crime dressed like that?" she chuckled.

"Someone who is eager to sell countless issues to its primary demographic of young boys?" Ryan shrugged. "Maybe I should buy one, what's her name anyway? Does she have her own series?"

"Stop talking!" Lincoln snapped, his face flushing. It earned him a few glances.

"Eh, chill out, bro…" Lynn bumped her fist against his arm "…we're just trying to get some joy out of this miserable experience."

"Yes, but just how skimpy is that lady heroe's outfit, Linky?" Ryan asked him, genuinely curious, much to Lynn's visible chagrin.

"We're here." They stopped as Jenny opened the door, showing a typical infirmary, largely white in color and with beds lined up on both sides, and Kathleen gestured for them to follow her. Ryan and Lynn followed them and the twins, both grimacing. Lincoln followed suit but Lisa grabbed his hand.

"Pssstt…Lincoln? I need to inform you about something." She whispered.

"What is it, Lisa?" Lincoln sighed. "We have a job to do."

"Yes, I know. I just need to show you something." She pulled a small remote-like device out of her pocket.

Lincoln squinted his eyes in confusion when it hit him. Oh, no. She wouldn't have?

"What is that?" he pointed at it. "Please…" his voice grew more strained as he barely kept himself composed "…please don't tell me it's what I think it is?"

"Well, in laymen's terms, it's a teleportation device, you just type in your coordinates, latitude and longitude, and it will transport you to your intended destination. So far it only works within a 15 square mile radius." Lisa explained.

"You've been teleporting yourself this whole time?!"

"No, just for the last two months, it's a recent invention, and I'm still trying to work out the kinks. I still wish to visit Beijing without paying for aerial-"

"Why did you bring that thing here?!" Lincoln barely kept his voice down. "I thought we agreed-"

"In case you're wondering if it's going to spontaneously combust then no, it will not." Lisa assured him. "It's a tried and true invention."

Lincoln had a hard time believing that, but it was too late now to tell her to put it back in her lab. Losing his shit would do nobody any good, there was only one thing he could do now. Ask her why, after everything they went through, did she think it was necessary to bring one of her inventions along?

Lisa grew more nervous as she saw her brother rub his forehead and hiss through clenched teeth in clear frustration.

"Could I at least inquire why, oh why did you feel the need to bring one of your highly dangerous inventions into a freaking children's hospital?"

Lisa swallowed a lump. "Well…perhaps I'm just being paranoid, albeit for good reasons. Given my track record, especially recently, of dragging my family into mortal peril whenever I'm in their vicinity I thought it would be better to come prepared…should the worst come."

"Should the worst come?" Lincoln made a face and gestured at the infirmary. "It's a children's hospital? Just what kind of "danger" could we possibly encounter here-"

"Lyle's back! Run!" Lynn bolted past them, as did Ryan, the twins and everyone else within the building as a loud crash was heard.

Lincoln froze in place as he heard a loud thud in front of him and his neck was seized by a powerful hand. He was hoisted and turned around to face his attacker, who looked just as gross and disfigured as last night.

His eyes glowing bright green, Lyle's mangled teeth twisted into a deranged smile.

"You thought prison would hold me, Ace? Ha!" he used his free hand to grab Lincoln's head and crush it in its grip.

"Once I'm done with you I'll slaughter your whole miserable freak family, one by one!" he laughed madly.

"No, you can't!" Lincoln cried before his head was ripped from his body, taking his spinal cord with it.

"Lincoln!" The boy shook himself out of his thoughts.

"Lincoln? Why are you perspiring?" Lisa asked. Lincoln glanced at a wall mirror and saw his face covered in beads of sweat.

His breathing was shallow and he felt light in the head, forcing him to lean against the wall for support.

"Lincoln, are you feeling well?" Lisa was starting to get concerned. Lincoln didn't respond and instead fixed his gaze on the remote in her hand.

Now that he thought about it, quite a few of the life-and-death situations he and/or Ryan and Lynn wound up in this past week weren't Lisa's fault, nor did she have any connection to them. Given his recent streak of "luck" perhaps a teleportation remote was not such a bad idea?

"I…I thought about what you said." He exhaled and wiped his forehead. "Eh….maybe bringing that gadget along wasn't such a bad idea."

Lisa blinked, surprised by his sudden change of tune. "So you approve of my decision."

"It works, right? No side effects?" Lincoln adopted a serious face.

"I have used it 232 times, at this point a malfunction of any kind is statistically a 3% likelihood." Lisa reaffirmed.

"Alright then, but you'll only use it in case of a real emergency." Lincoln told her. "Like….I dunno, if Lyle's powers resurface and he busts out of prison and comes after us. Otherwise, pretend like you don't have that device with you."

"That was the general idea." Lisa nodded. "I would like to think such an accident would not happen but…."

"Better be safe than sorry." Lincoln finished for her, mirroring her own thoughts.

"Alright, but who is going to hold on to that little gizmo?"

"I was thinking you could?" Lisa offered it to him. "I don't trust myself with such delicate technology."

Lincoln hesitantly took and studied it, trying to process the fact that he was holding something that could teleport them anywhere within a 15 square mile radius. Under different circumstances, he might have been slightly tempted to try it out. But not now.

"I already typed in our home address, so it should teleport us there automatically, just in case."

"Alright then." Lincoln pushed it in his pocket. "Now come on, we have work to do. And don't tell anyone about it, least of all the twins."

"After what they did last night respectively, they are the last people on Earth I would entrust with such intel." Lisa agreed without objection, as the two caught up with the rest, who were standing in the middle of the infirmary. Several of the other volunteers were sitting next to a kid and interacting with them, none of the patients seemed to be much older than Lucy.

"What kept you there, pipsqueak?" Ryan inquired as they followed Kathleen. "Did you have one of those worst-case scenario image spots?"

Lincoln wiped some remaining sweat off his forehead. "Something like that…" he whispered "…just know that should anything happen, I…or more specifically Lisa here has a rock-solid plan."

"And that's supposed to be reassuring?" Ryan deadpanned, making Lisa look down in shame.

"So, Lynn. You'll be providing company for one of the bed-ridden, kids. Same for you, Lisa." Kathleen instructed them. "Jenny will introduce you to your buddies."

"I just can't hide my enthusiasm." Lynn muttered as she followed Jenny, wishing the boys good luck. Lisa nodded at her brother before joining the jock.

The rest were being led by Kathleen towards the play area. "Lincoln, Lana, Lola, Brian, I think your tasks will be a lot more fun." Kathleen told them before stopping at the entrance. "Behold."

They entered a large room that looked like every little kid's dream come true. The twins gaped in awe, it wasn't the funhouse at Tisdale Towers, but it was up there. Covered in bright techno-colors, this play area had everything, from a slide to hopper balls to arcade games to a small playhouse castle to more simple means of pastime such as a reading corner and one dedicated to arts and crafts, and it was filled with young children in their pajamas, most of them footy pajamas.

"I see you two are impressed." Kathleen leaned down to the twins, who nodded excitedly.

"Great, but remember…..you're meant to mingle and provide friendship." She reminded them and added jokingly. "So I better not catch you slacking off."

"No problem." Lana said confidently. "I bet I'll make lots of new friends in an hour, while Princess over there will make none."

Lola seethed as her twin ran off to mingle. "I'll show her who can't make friends!" she stormed after her.

"You spared no expenses with this place?" Ryan had to admit.

"Ah, Ryan, don't think I have forgotten about your task." Kathleen handed him a storybook and pointed at the reading corner. It was a large carpet with bookshelves lining each wall, with a stool in the middle and surrounded by cushions of every color, and on them sat around six little kids, who waved at them.

"They've been waiting for you, Brian." Kathleen patted him on the shoulder. "You're today's Storyteller."

Grimacing, Ryan looked at the book he was holding and groaned inwardly after reading the title.

"Whatever you say, Kathy." He grumbled, resigning himself to his fate. Before leaving, he placed his hand on Lincoln's shoulder. "If I don't make it, tell Lynn she meant everything to me."

Rolling his eyes, Lincoln shoved his hand off. "I will, you're a real trooper." He humored him before turning to Kathleen.

"And do you have any specific task for me in mind, or am I just to mingle like the twins?"

"Actually, I did." Kathleen smiled. "I was hoping Luan would have come for this, but the way I understand it, you have acted as her assistant once in a while?"

"Yes?"

"So I was hoping you picked up some tricks from her?"

"Well…I can try." He shrugged. "I doubt it will be too hard to entertain little kids."

Looking quite happy, Kathleen threw her arm over his shoulder and led him away. "Great, I'll get you your costume."

"Costume?" Lincoln gulped.

Meanwhile, Amber was carrying a large box towards a group of eager, excited children. "Hello, kids. Today Kathleen, the most generous person in all of Royal Woods, brought you a special gift!" she announced as she lowered the box. The kids all stared at it in anticipation.

"They are cute, they are fluffy and they can't wait to play with you." Amber said as she slowly lifted the box up for a dramatic reveal. "What better to help you with a quick recovery than the company of some adorable kitties and puppies!" The box revealed Marceline, Charles and Cliff underneath it, all three confused and huddled together at the sight of the unfamiliar surroundings and unfamiliar people after being literally left in the dark. The latter two also looked disheveled and beaten-up.

Their sensitive ears were in for a treat as they were bombarded by a chorus of loud, high-pitched cheers.

"Allow me to introduce Marcy, Charlie and Cliff! They all belong to some of our volunteers so you can't take them home with you. But you have free permission to play with them for this afternoon, and if they like it, they'll come back here the next day and the next and the next day." The three pets cringed and folded their ears again from the loud cheering.

Not a second later, countless tiny little hands started grabbing them and petting them. Cliff and Charles weren't bothered by it at first, but Marceline was wiser than that. She knew why cute, fluffy animals like her should avoid little kids like the plague, but she was cornered and had no way to escape.

"Well, you kids have fun." Amber carefully backed away from the growing mass of children.

"Hey, boy. Do you like to play fetch?"

"I'm sure he wants his tummy rubbed."

"Wow, look at his eye patch?" Some of the young boys took an immediate interest in Charles. The bull terrier reacted happily, panting and wagging his tail, until someone grabbed his tail and started pulling him back.

"C'mon, boy! Let's play fetch!" one of the boys was dragging him along.

"No way! I want to rub his tummy first!" another one grabbed him by the leg.

"I want to play fetch with him too!" another pulled him by the ear.

"Take your turn, Billy! I asked him first!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!" Charles's mirth disappeared faster than a frisbee over the neighbor's fence as he became the subject of a game of tug-a-war.

Watching this, Cliff got an idea of what was awaiting him, so he and Marceline tried to back out of there, when some other kids grabbed the tom, who shrieked and sunk his claws into the carpet but to no avail.

"He's gonna drive a car!" a boy cheered.

"Yes, he's just the right size for it." A girl agreed as she placed a race car helmet on Cliff's head and they stuck him into the seat of a toy car. Cliff grabbed the helmet and desperately tried to remove it as he couldn't breathe underneath the thing. The girl then used a remote to start the car and the two ran after it.

Marceline couldn't help but laugh and point at the sight. A bad idea, as she failed to notice the grubby little hands coming towards her.

"She's so pretty! She'll make a great model!" a girl laughed as she grabbed the savannah, who swallowed a lump and tried to escape as she was dragged to the two girls' "fashion show" kicking and screaming.

A few moments later, Marceline found herself standing on an ottoman, wearing a sunhat, sunglasses and a sundress with sunflower patterns as one of the girls took a snapshot of the miserable feline. After that, she was wearing a kimono and a Chinese wig, and another snapshot was taken, then she was dressed as a cheerleader, holding a flag in one paw and a pompom in the other, then she was dressed as Marie Antoinette, then as Chiquita Banana, and then as Ronald McDonald, with the red wig and red nose, all while the girls were cooing and fawning over her.

Then Marceline found herself in a wedding dress, with Cliff in a tuxedo and wearing a top hat placed next to her. The girls were playing wedding music and cooing about what a cute couple they are. Not in this lifetime. Marceline couldn't suppress a growl any longer and with one paw, showed the diminutive groom off the ottoman just as one of the girls took their wedding picture.


Meanwhile….

"So what exactly are we supposed to do again?" Lisa asked her older sister. "Kathleen was somewhat nebulous with the job descriptions."

"Don't talk to me." Lynn replied coldly, not even caring to look at her. Lisa looked down sadly.

"It's quite simple really." Jenny explained as they passed by a few beds already claimed by some of the volunteers, who were talking to the patients. "All you need to do is fraternize with the patients. Many of them feel scared and lonely being here without their families, so they need companionship."

"Right, so just lift their spirits and that's it?" Lynn deadpanned. "It's like babysitting?"

"Hmmm….more or less." Jenny shrugged. "Did you ever babysit?"

"Nope, and don't plan to." Lynn replied.

"A sound decision, if you ask me…." Lisa murmured to herself, getting a dirty glare from the jock.

"Well, there's a first for everything." Jenny shrugged. "Trust me, you'll need the money sooner than you think, and look at this?" She gestured at a young boy, who looked like he was around six or seven. "A chance to hone your skills? Hey there, little guy?"

"Um….hello?" he responded in a small voice.

"You're one of the new arrivals, right?" The kid just nodded.

"Ah, perfect." Jenny grabbed Lynn by the shoulders and pushed her forward. "This is Lynn, she's new at the job. You're the perfect match."

"Wait, what exactly-" Lynn was cut off as Jenny made her sit down on a chair next to the bed.

"Don't be shy, you'll do just fine." Jenny patted her shoulder and walked off holding Lisa's hand.

Now alone, Lynn looked at the kid, who just blinked at her. Shit, this was awkward.

"C'mon…eh…just strike up a conversation?" Lynn thought and cleared her throat. "So? Name's Lynn, you already know that. So….eh… what are you in for?"

The boy just pointed at his leg, which was in a cast and suspended from an intravenous pole.

And now Lynn felt stupid. "Oh, right, gotcha." She shot him a finger gun before rubbing the back of her head. "So what happened then? Slip on a skateboard? Tried sliding down the stairs?"

"I….I don't really wanna talk about it…" the kid looked down dejectedly.

Well, at least he wasn't being annoying. Lynn worried that she might get saddled with another Lola or something. Maybe she was getting the wrong impression, but the little ankle-biter seemed….ashamed of his broken leg?

"Hey, you can tell me. I won't judge." She shrugged. "Really, I'm literally getting paid to be as nice to you as possible." The kid stayed silent.

Lynn tried to keep her voice gentle. "Really, I won't laugh. Look, do you want to talk or are we just going to sit here in awkward silence? I doubt you have anything better to do until that cast gets removed."

The kid sighed. "Well….I tried out for the soccer team at my school, but during tryouts I…..I screwed up…" his voice trailed off, as he gained an expression that was halfway between frustration and embarrassment.

Lynn's eyes widened. She hadn't expected that? But of course, she wasn't the only person in the world to play sports. Was this twerp a sports enthusiast?

"Oh, why did you try it? Did your parents make you-"

"No, I just like playing."

"Oh? So are you going to try it again after your leg gets better?"

"Nah…." The boy looked ashamed of himself. "I'm no good at it."

Hearing that though made Lynn feel a sense of kinship with the kid. Why though?

"Doy! You're an athlete, stupid. This happened to you plenty of times." She mentally kicked herself. Having had her fair share of sports-related injuries, she could relate to the kids frustration and embarrassment. Nobody liked to mess up while on the field, in front of all of your teammates.

"Hey, now. That's quitter talk. Just because your first try didn't as smoothly as you hoped doesn't mean you're no good at it." The kid looked at her puzzled.

"But my leg-"

"It will heal. Look, I know how you feel. Yeah, messing up during tryouts, that really bites."

"You do?"

"Of course, I'm Lynn Loud." She pointed at herself proudly. "You probably heard about me somewhere if you're into soccer."

The kid blinked. "Eh….no. Should I?"

"You like soccer, don't you? And other outdoor sports?" Lynn asked him. He once again just nodded, but her name didn't seem to ring any bells.

Lynn grew annoyed but kept her composure. "Well, I am an athlete. Been playing sports pretty much since I could walk. Soccer, basketball, baseball, hokey, Mexican wrestling, you name it. I've done them all and not to be a braggart, but I am a natural at pretty much any sport I tackle."

"Oh…" the kid looked down. "Bet this never happens to you?"

"You kidding? I've been at the hospital thanks to some sport-related injury more times than I can count."

"But you said you were an athlete? That you're really good at it?"

"Sure I am. But I didn't get where I am today without some slip-ups. Even today, I still get banged up pretty badly sometimes when luck isn't on my side. Accidents happen when you play sports. It's inevitable, but you should never let them discourage you to keep trying. There are two major rules you always need to follow, "practice makes perfect" and "never give up"."

"I dunno, after what I did, I don't think I'm cut out to play soccer…"

The kid was faced with crippling self-doubt. But anyone who felt this self-critical about his or her performance must have potential, at least Lynn thought so.

"And what exactly happened?" Lynn inquired. Again, the kid went quiet.

"Tell you what? How about I share some of my most embarrassing screw-ups and then you can tell me about yours? At least if you feel like it afterward? Does that sound fair?" Lynn asked.

"Well….okay…"

"Alright, but care to tell me your name first?"

"Toby."

"Alright, Toby, I've got a good one for you. It happened when I was seven and I first tried baseball…."

Meanwhile, Lisa had been wondering who she would be paired up with as Jenny led her to the end of the corridor.

"Um, Jenny, was it?" she asked the teen. "I'd be remiss if I didn't inform you in advance that I am not exactly the most…fun person. So if my performance might fall short of your expectations."

Jenny looked at her incredulously. Did this toddler have a dictionary installed in her head after birth? How was she talking so eloquently? When Kathleen said she was "smart" she wasn't kidding.

"Don't worry, Kathleen told me you were the brainy type, so I think we have just the right buddy for you?" she reassured Lisa, who wasn't quite convinced. "And there she is."

Looking ahead, the genius spotted a girl around her age sitting in her bed and holding a stuffed giraffe. She had mocha skin and short brown hair and was dressed in the usual hospital gown. A folding table was next to the bed along with a chair.

"Hello, Darcy. How are we doing today?" Jenny greeted the little patient.

"Hello, Ms. Jenny. Did my mommy and daddy come?" the girl asked eagerly. Hearing that, Jenny frowned, knowing she would have to disappoint her.

"Afraid not." She shook her head. "Their work schedules are tight." She shrugged. Lisa noticed the immediate disappointment on the little girl's face.

"But I also brought good news." Jenny tried to perk her up. "Two good news in fact. Firstly, your doctors say you'll be free to go in a day or two, and secondly, we brought you a new friend today." She gently shoved Lisa in front of her.

Lisa made eye contact with Darcy and awkwardly waived. "Um….pleasure to meet you?"

"Hello, I'm Darcy Helmandollar and this is Rafo." Darcy politely introduced herself and her giraffe.

She didn't strike Lisa like the brainy type, even by the standards of the average human being at this developmental stage. She didn't notice Jenny picking her up and placing her on the chair, which conveniently had a booster seat, so Lisa could actually reach the table.

"She's gonna pway with us?" Darcy asked.

"Of course, that's why she came."

"Um, excuse me?" Lisa whispered to Jenny. "Why did you select her as the most compatible match for me?"

"Because she likes to play chess." Jenny smiled and pulled out a chess box from underneath the table and handed it to Lisa. Lisa looked at Darcy again, whose simple smile didn't convey someone strategically-minded. Or did these cheerleaders confuse boar games with chess?

"Well, I've got work to do, so I'll just leave you two to get acquainted." Without further ado, Jenny left, leaving Lisa alone and confused. How was she to approach this?

"So….um…..you're Darcy?"

"Mhmm…" Darcy nodded, "That's my name."

"Oh….so why were you enrolled in this medical establishment for the prepubescent?"

Darcy offered nothing but a confused stare and Lisa reminded herself to use simpler phrasing.

"I mean, why did you go to the doctor?"

"Oh, because of this." Darcy lifted her gown and Lisa cringed as she saw a large healed scar on the former's right flanks, lined on both sides with dots that were clearly the result of stitching.

"I stayed because they gave me a…..kiddey….thrasphant." Darcy tried to explain to the best of her capabilities as she lowered the gown. "I don't wemember a lot."

"Oh, well….glad to hear you made a full recovery." Lisa replied awkwardly.

"Thanks, mommy says Miss. Kathween paid for ewerything. Mommy was vewy happy because she saying she not have many money." Darcy elaborated but then sighed sadly.

"So what's with your despondency?" Lisa inquired, moderately curious. "Your operation went without any complications and your medical bills have been paid via a generous donation?"

Once again, she lost Darcy and Lisa rephrased her question. "Why are you sad?"

"I miss my mommy and daddy, and my grandpawents." Darcy clutched Rafo.

Oh, yes. Lisa couldn't say she could relate to the feeling. She never felt a particularly strong attachment to her parents and communicated with them only when necessary. She seldom had a reason to do it. But if she remembered her zoology books correctly, all juvenile mammals felt an instinctual connection with their parents as a survival mechanism, so this was likely the root cause of Darcy's sadness.

"Ah, I see. Well, you heard what Jenny said. You'll be clear to go in a day or two and you'll be reunited….eh you'll see your family by tomorrow, or the day after that, and then you'll go home."

"But I want to see them now." Darcy sniffed.

"Come on, Lisa. You are supposed to find a way to make her happy? It can't be that complicated?" Lisa remembered the chess box she was holding and opened it on the table.

"Well, it's my job to distract you from those pesky thoughts, so how about a game of chess? You like it?"

"Oh, yes. My gwandpa pways it with me aw the time." Darcy nodded.

"Great, then I assume this will give you a sense of familiarity. So, care to test your wits against me?"

Darcy giggled. "You tawk funny."

Lisa rolled her eyes. She doubted the kid was remotely aware of her own hypocrisy. "It's a lateral lisp, I couldn't squeeze in any speech therapy in my schedule." Darcy giggled more quietly.

"But if my speech impediment amuses her, I am heading in the right direction." Lisa figured.

"Okay…" Darcy selected her chess pieces. "But can I ask something?"

"What?"

"Why are you here? Were you hurt?"

"Um…no? I'm part of the volunteer group."

Darcy blinked in confusion, just now noticing that Lisa was wearing one of those striped shirts. "The wolluteers? But aren't they big kids?"

"Yes, but my family knows Kathleen and she allowed me to work here."

"Oh, okay! That's why you're weawing a zebwa PJ?"

"Eh, yes." Lisa shrugged.


Lola had managed to assemble a small group of half a dozen kids around the castle playhouse. She was sitting on her makeshift throne with her legs crossed. "So I don't want to repeat how lucky you all are to have someone like me, Lola Loud, be your buddy for the day."

"Who are you again?" a boy whose arm was in a sling asked, irking the princess.

"Don't any of you watch pageant shows?" Lola asked irritably, to which the other kids just shook their heads, making her facepalm.

"Figures, you uncultured roobs…." She grumbled under her breath before resuming a friendly demeanor. "Never mind that, because do I know how to make your day more fun! See that castle?" she pointed up. "The game we're gonna play is very simple, it's roleplay! You all like role play, don't you?"

Before anyone could reply, she clapped her hands. "Today, I'll be playing the role of the beautiful princess Lola, and all of you can be my loyal servants who cater to my every whim." The other kids murmured among themselves.

"Is that all?" one of them asked, not very enthusiastically.

"Of course not, silly." Lola brushed him off and stood up. "One of you can play my knight in shining armor who sings minstrel songs to me about how beautiful and virtuous I am, and also caters to my every whim." She explained as she pulled a leash, bringing in a toy horse on wheels.

"And that's not the only role available." She then pulled a green costume from behind her throne. "You see, every story needs a villain, and in this one, one of you will be playing the evil dragon that wants to kidnap me and who gets slain in battle by the heroic knight."

"Now let's see." She examined the group and picked out a girl with a stitched-up scar running along her cheek. "You there! You can play the dragon!" she tossed her the head. "If you wear the dragon mask, nobody will notice that nasty blemish on your face." Lola shrugged.

"Wow, that's like the most unfun role play I ever heard." Lana barged in on their meeting.

"Lana, get out of here and stop bothering these nice kids!" Lola confronted her. "Don't you see, I'm trying to brighten their day!"

"Looks to me like you're just trying to stroke your ego, as usual." Lana scoffed and pointed at the dragon costume . "And this isn't a dragon, dummy, it's Godzilla, a mutated dinosaur. Everyone knows that."

"I'm doing my job here, idiot! What exactly have you been doing all this time?" Lana smirked and pointed at a small replica of Tokyo she and some other kids had built from legos. Lola's jaw dropped, how did they build it so fast?

"We have plenty of screaming, panicking pedestrians, now we just need a few kaijus to go on a rampage and tear the city down. Now, who wants to be a kaiju!" Lana exclaimed, suddenly holding costumes of Rodan and Anguirus. Her question was met with roaring cheers and hands being raised in the air.

"You can't do that!" Lola snapped at her twin. "They are my friends, go play with your own!"

"It's their choice, stupid!" Lana snapped back. "And your idea of "fun" just sounds like you picked a bunch of slaves to pamper you!"

Lola folded her arms. "It's not, it's roleplaying, an accurate reenactment of the medieval time period and I just happen to be the best-suited and most experienced at playing an absolute monarch."

"Yeah, yeah…" Lana mocked her. "In case you've forgotten, none of them have to play with you. It's their choice."

Before Lola could retort, Lana turned to the other kids. "It's your choice, guys. If you want to do the dumb "historical reenactment" you can stay, but if you want to join me and my new friends, the more the merrier."

The response was overwhelming.

"Sure do!"

"I wanna be the pterodactyl!"

"I'm the rhino-lizard!"

Lola seethed as the kids immediately jumped to Lana's side and took the costumes. The girl with the scar snatched the Godzilla costume from her.

"I think I will play the dragon." She scoffed at Lola and ran after the others.

Lana looked at her twin with a smug look. Lola growled. "I see what you're doing, trying to steal my new friends!"

"Stealing? I don't need to do that." Lana shrugged, still carrying a smug look. "Your "lovely personality" did that for me." Lola boiled with fury.

"I'd ask you to join us, but I can't. Kaijus might be destructive but you're more of a monster than even Tokyo could handle." With that, Lana left her while making an "L" sign.

"That lousy, backstabbing, no-good…." Lola hissed through clenched teeth and stomped her foot. The nerve of that girl, thinking she can make a pariah out of her here too!

"Bah, who needs them? They were all idiots anyway!" Lola told herself and looked around. "Surely there are more cultured individuals around here I can fraternize with?"

She spotted three girls holding a tea party, with Marceline forced to join them, once again wearing sunglasses, a sunhat and sundress.

"Ah, kindred spirits." Lola waltzed over to them. "Pardon me, ladies. Mind if I join your party?"

The other girls looked at each other with uncertainty. "Um….I don't think there's room for another?" One of them said tentatively.

"Nonsense, I'll just grab another chair." Lola brushed her off. "As you can see from my shirt, it's my duty today to be your buddy."

"I don't want her for our buddy, she's mean." One of the girls whispered to her companions, but Lola heard it and her response?

Slamming her hands into the table, making the other girls flinch in fear.

"Mean?! Who said I'm mean! You don't even know me!" Lola pointed at herself, before it hit her. "Who told you I'm mean!"

The others looked hesitant to speak.

"Come on, spill the beans!" Lola demanded.

"Your sister said so. She told everyone here to watch out for you." one of the girls admitted out of fear.

"Lana?" Lola clenched her fists. "Figures, that brat would want to slander me!"

Calming herself, Lola huffed haughtily. "Oh, that? Yeah, she tends to do that. But that's idle gossip. You shouldn't believe such stuff, at least not when it comes from filthy, unruly riff-raff like Lana."

"Well….that's not a very nice thing to say about your sister?"

"Yeah, it's pretty mean…."

"Meow." Marceline seemed to agree.

That was it for Lola. "I AM NOT MEAN!" she snapped at the girls once more, making them cover. Marceline used the distraction to get out of there.

Lola counted to ten and tried to collect herself. "Sorry about that…" she leaned back and chuckled as if nothing happened "….where did that come from?"

The three girls bolted away, leaving Lola alone and deflated.

"Um…Lola? May I have a word with you?" the princess tensed up upon hearing Kathleen's voice. She hesitantly looked over her shoulder and saw the teen waiting for her at the balcony door.

"Can you come over here, please?"

Lola gulped. She'd done it now. No, she couldn't alienate the one friend she had left.

"Save face! Save face!" She nervously approached the head of their "volunteer" group, who raised an eyebrow at her.

"Um…yes?"

"Care to explain the yelling?" Kathleen's tone wasn't particularly harsh but that didn't stop Lola's knee-jerk reaction.

"I'm sorry!" she grabbed the hem of Kathleen's shirt. "Please don't be mad! It was a slip-up! An accident! A misun-"

"Take it easy, Lola. I'm not mad." Kathleen quickly reassured her. Her heart still pounding, Lola let go, still sweating and her pupils dilated with fear.

"Of course you're not mad…" she chuckled nervously while pointing two finger guns at Kathleen. "Why did I even say that-"

"Lola, we need to talk." Kathleen sighed and placed a hand on Lola's back, guiding her to the balcony. "Don't fret, I just want to talk to you."

"I didn't do anything. I swear." Lola said in a small voice.

"Then why did you send those girls packing?" Kathleen placed her hands on her hips. "Remember, the whole point to our visit is to brighten their day, not to replicate the galvanizing anxiety they felt upon arriving here for whatever operation they had to undergo, and might still be waiting for in utter fear."

Lola shuddered at the thought. She wasn't a big fan of the big bad doctor and his cold and empty white void of an operating room filled with twisted and pointy instruments of torture either. Looking back at Kathleen, she scrambled to think of an excuse to save face.

"I'm pretty sure they just needed to go to the little girl's room! All of them! And the cat-"

"Lola, I think I know what's troubling you."

Lola blinked. "You do?"

"It's Renee, isn't it?"

Hearing that name, Lola felt a shiver run down her spine. She still hadn't heard anything about Renee? Was she….

"Lola, she's fine, or at least as fine as you can be after falling out of a window. I called the hospital." Kathleen informed her.

"You did?"

Kathleen nodded and kneeled down next to her. "I did, and I'll let you in on this little secret."

Lola tentatively nodded. "So….she is not hurt?" she asked hopefully.

"Well….not quite. She broke her right leg and cracked some ribs…"

"What?!" Lola yelped.

"…..but nothing too severe, those will heal."

Lola sighed with relief. Okay, so the damage wasn't too bad.

"Also, her neck was dislocated by the fall…."

Lola paled.

"….but they've given her a neck brace, so it should heal in due time." Kathleen finished.

"…..and that's all?" Lola barely dared to ask.

"Yes, that is all. Doc says she should make a full recovery, if she agrees to rest. Says she's been very restless since she woke up though, ranting about having to return to her job and having to kill someone."

Lola didn't know if she should have been ecstatic or terrified. On one hand, Renee was alright. On the other, she was clearly pissed, and for good reason. She would surely strangle her, if mom and dad didn't beat her to it. Something told she would not be able to push those two aside like they're nothing this time.

"But remember, mum's the word. Better not let your siblings know about this, they need all the incentive they can to do their jobs properly. But don't worry, her and more importantly, you Louds won't be in any debts as far as medical bills go. "

"Wait what?" Lola didn't follow.

"I already paid for her hospital bills in advance, what? You thought I was going to procrastinate on that?" Kathleen chuckled. "That's been taken care of, but just remember what I told you? Your siblings don't need to know this."

Kathleen trusted her with confidential information, the least Lola could do is to honor that. "Okay, I promise I won't tell anyone, ever."

Kathleen patted her head affectionately. "Not forever, just until the end of the day."

That brought Lola some relief, but not for long. She clutched Kathleen's shirt again, sporting a pleading look. "Kathleen, please don't let her hurt me! Or mom and dad-umph!"

Kathleen placed her hand over her mouth. "Don't sweat it, Lols. You think I haven't thought about that too? I've been in way worse predicaments than this, plenty of times, and I'm still here alive and well."

"You'll help me?" Lola asked incredulously.

"Why wouldn't I? One, we're friends, aren't we? And two, I just can't stand by and let an innocent be punished for an accident. A very bad accident, but an accident nonetheless."

"Yeah, yeah…accident…" Lola's breathing was shallow. Why did she feel like she didn't deserve Kathleen's graciousness? It was an accident! She didn't mean to hurt Renee, not this badly anyway. "But how can you help? Even if they don't have to spare a nickel, mom and dad will freak-"

"Yes, I think they might." Kathleen rubbed her chin. "Which is why I'll invite you to a….prolonged slumber party? Just to give them some time to think things through? And I might send them another nice gift to "help" the process. Like perhaps, a generous donation to help fund your father's upcoming restaurant? Or hook up your mom with some high-profile publisher?" She continued with a knowing nod.

"You want to bribe them?" Lola blinked. That sounded low, but also brilliant.

"Bribe? That's such an ugly word. I will merely try to guide them towards making the right decision,should they consider reprimanding you. Naturally, I'll speak on behalf of my little buddy."

Lola thought about it. Hiding while they cool off? Some money exchanging hands to lighten their moods before she reunites with them? Renee's hospital bills being paid for in advance will also help?

"Yeah, yeah, and once they hear I was a social worker for a day, they'll forgive me." Lola nodded, trying to convince herself of it.

"Yes, but-"

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you a thousand times, Kathleen!" Lola embraced her joyfully. "What would I do without you!"

Kathleen grabbed the chuff of her striped shirt and gently peeled her off.

"Can we go on a month-long vacation to Tahiti maybe, while they "think things over"?" Lola quickly suggested. "It's summer after all and there's no school…."

Kathleen smirked. "Don't get greedy now, you know I have obligations here."

"Oh, yeah….sorry…" Lola chuckled nervously as she was placed down.

"And speaking of obligations, a social worker like you should go back to work, remember? And socialize."

"Oh, yeah…." Lola looked down sheepishly. "But…eh…"

"But what?" Kathleen cocked an eyebrow, before it hit her. "Ah, lemme guess? Your outburst wasn't just from the stress, was it the kids? Did they say something that upset you?"

"No…I mean…sort of…" Lola rubbed her arm.

Kathleen sighed. "I know doing this stuff isn't easy. Not everyone you help is going to be appreciative of it-"

"It wasn't that." Lola raised her voice, her anger returning. "It was…"

Kathleen looked at her, silently encouraging her to continue.

"It was Lana!" Lola spat it out. "She tried to slander me, okay! Telling the other kids lies about me being mean and then they didn't want anything to do with me."

"And is there any truth to that claim?"

Lola was taken aback by the question. She hadn't expected Kathleen to ask that. Despite her insistence a minute ago that Lola should return to work, Kathleen was silently and patiently waiting for an answer, her expression telling the little girl that she could be honest with her.

Lola's first thought was to utterly deny it, say Lana was the evil one and that she's a perfect little angel. It would have been easy to do that, but for whatever reason, Lola couldn't bring herself to lie to Kathleen. Kathleen had been her friend even when her own flesh and blood turned their backs on her and tortured her for their own sick amusement. Lying to her didn't feel right.

Pursing her lips and tightening her fists, Lola scrapped her right foot against the floor in aggravation but she tried to force a truthful answer out of herself.

"Well…..maybe…."

"Maybe?"

Lola grew even more tense and avoided eye-contact.

"It's okay, Lols. I won't judge, you can be honest with me." Kathleen said in a gentle and reassuring tone. "I was honest with you guys about my misdeeds, remember? Surely nothing can trump those."

That reminder made Lola feel guilty about keeping her friend in the dark, and she recalled how not being truthful with her family had earned her a tickle torture session this morning, so she confessed.

"I….I….okay….so maybe I have been mean to my family from time to time." She shut her eyes tight as she spat that out like a sour grape. She didn't know how Kathleen would respond.

"How mean?" she asked simply.

Lola was confused by her calm and understanding tone, but she continued, reluctantly.

"Well….I….how mean? Eh…..snitching on my siblings…blackmailing them to do my biding…eh, threatening them with violence if I didn't have a bargaining chip….sometimes I destroyed their most prized possessions for revenge….likeLanasfavoritehat…." she looked away in shame.

"And that's all?"

"Well, in general?" Lola answered before looking at her incredulously. "Wait, what do you mean "that's all"?"

Kathleen shrugged. "Those weren't nice things to do, yes, but that's just entry-level meanness compared to what I did over the years." She sounded decidedly unimpressed with Lola's confession. The latter wasn't sure if she should have been relieved or offended by it.

Kathleen patted her shoulder. "But I'm happy you were honest with me, Lola. Don't think I think any less of you because of it. Honesty is a virtue and nobody is perfect, we can only try to be our best selves."

A smile tugged Lola's limps. It felt kind of….nice saying what she did, admitting to her faults. Maybe it was just the fact that Kathleen was so understanding or how she faced zero consequences for her confession of being less than a perfect angel, but still. Getting this off her chest made her feel better than she had felt in the last 24 hours.

But that was only the start of it.

"But I must know? Does Lana have a leg to stand on?"

"Huh?"

"You admitted that you've done some bad things in the past and I'm starting to see why some of your siblings might hold a grudge against you, but there are two sides to every story, and are any of them in a position to wiggle their finger at you and scold you for being "mean"?"

"Uh? Wha-what do you mean?"

"I'm asking if Lana has the right to act like she's a better person than you, same for your other siblings?"

Oh, now she understood. Thinking about it made Lola's blood boil anew. "Heck no!" she exclaimed, her vigor slowly returning. "They are no better than me! They have done plenty of mean and selfish things as well, more than I can count! You have no idea how many times they broke things, or destroyed the inside of our house, or hurt each other with petty fighting!"

"Is that so?" Kathleen didn't appear all that surprised. "All of them?"

"Ye….well, not all…" the riled-up Lola scratched the back of her head. "Leni is too brain-dead to be malicious and Lucy just likes to lurk around in dark corners and be creepy instead of talking to any of us like a normal human being, but the rest of them? Heck yes! Lori is a huge jerk and a tyrant! Luan's so-called pranks are lethal! Lynn is a walking disaster area! Lana is a living, breathing disease-infested pigsty! Luna acts like she's cool and chummy with everyone but that's just surface-level! Even Lincoln! He'll lie and scheme all the time to weasel his way out of things!" Lola's voice trailed off as she ran out of breath.

"Sounds like you wanted to get this off your chest for a while?" Kathleen pulled her closer and patted her back.

How did she know that, Lola wondered? Kathleen was like a psychic, or maybe she just understood her better than anyone? They were so much alike after all. She was right to come clean with her.

"I'm sorry, I lost it again…" Lola sighed ashamedly.

"Oh, no, quite the contrary." Kathleen shook her head. "It's good to talk about things that trouble you with a friend. And it doesn't look like your siblings make an effort to be your friends. Is that why you were so mad when those girls called you "mean"?"

"What do you mean?"

"You may have done mean things, but so did Lana. Did it upset you that Lana was being a hypocrite and they were still siding with her?"

Lola pondered, and felt a small fire in her chest. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Lana was being a hypocrite! She was just as bad as Lola, all of them were. She was no worse than them, she was just playing their game! So why did they single her out as the jerk of the house who should be scorned and punished? Okay, so she may have accidentally put them in mortal danger that one time, but this was not a new thing. They always treated her like that, they always sided with Lana and favored her, as if she was some kind of goody-two-shoes and poor Lola was the devil!

"Yes." She said with tranquil fury as she leaned into Kathleen's embrace, hot tears filling up her eyes.

"They all went with her, and I don't understand why? I offered them to join my role play, but no! They all preferred knocking lego buildings with her."

"Ah, I see." Kathleen nodded. "Well, firstly, when doing this line of work, you need to be the bigger woman. Remember, our goal is to brighten their day, meaning you'll have to let them do what they want, you should never impose something on them."

"But what Lana suggested, it's so stupid and…." Lola shut her eyes and hissed in frustration "...why do people always like her better!"

"Always like her better?" Kathleen leaned back and looked at her, finally showing some surprise. "Surely you're joking?"

"I'm not!" Lola stomped her foot. "It's always, "Oh, Lana, you're so cute. You're so nice. What a great gal you are, nothing like that spoiled brat you call a sister!" People always like her better! When I do something mean, I'm a monster! But when she's being mean everyone just gives her a slap on the wrist and forgets about it! I don't understand why?! It's not fair!"

"It's not fair, but it's not surprising." Kathleen sighed with resignation. Lola stared at her in confusion.

"Ah, you may be wondering why anyone would feel disdain for a girl that boasts so many positive and desirable qualities, like being smart, beautiful, charismatic, fashionable, refined, talented and ridiculously rich?" Kathleen told her with a knowing smile. "Those qualities are the reason. It's simple envy. They envy you for not being as gifted as you are, and it's easier to project their anger and frustration about their own inadequacy onto you than admit to their own faults, like you did right now."

"Are you talking from experience?" Lola figured.

"Yes indeed. Granted, I did do a whole bunch other nasty things to large numbers of people and that might be why I've earned their ire, but with you and your sisters, there is no other logical explanation. You are very much like me, besides the small matter of not being stinking rich, and your presence provides an ever-present threat, so to speak, to your siblings' sense of self-worth. Even if you don't intend to, your presence makes them feel more self-conscious about themselves. Or in simpler turns, they feel ugly and worthless because you are pretty and gifted."

"Yes….yes, yes, yes…" Lola was more than happy to believe that. "They are green-eyed twits who gang up on me because they feel inferior!"

"And that might be why Lana comes off as more appealing to some people. They can relate to her more." Kathleen poked her in the chest before moving her index finger to Lola's lips. "But you should never tell them that to their faces, it only makes it easier for them to demonize you. The few exceptional people are always held up to much higher standards."

"But why shouldn't I give them a piece of my mind! They deserve it! I can't just sit back and take it!"

"Who said you should? But there are better ways of proving your point than simply hurling insults." Kathleen stood up. "Lola, I know better than anyone how it feels to do this thankless job, especially for unappreciative and judgmental people who will hold any slip-up, any misdeed from your past against me just to put me down."

"You do?"

"Yes, I've been called many things when I first started my charity events. A spoiled brat? A trust fund baby? A shameless coward trying to save her own skin? A sociopath? A megalomaniac? Heard it all."

Lola gasped. "That's horrible."

"Indeed, and I've felt compelled to give those people a piece of my mind or a knuckle sandwich more times that I can remember. Between you and me, some of your siblings have also been particularly difficult to tolerate, but even more so their overly clingy friend, Ryan Taylor."

Lola smiled at the mentioning of that name. Finally, someone acknowledged that scumbag for the piece shit he was.

"I hate to judge people I don't know personally but everything I saw about him shows me that he is a crude, disrespectful, condescending and unruly brute who will gladly exploit any situation to put people down, not to mention his lack of fashion sense and personal hygiene." Kathleen emphasized her point by clenching her nose.

"Yes! Finally someone sees what I've been saying this whole time!" Lola leaped with joy. "I have no idea why everyone in my family treats him like he's the greatest person in the world!"

"Indeed." Kathleen nodded. "Now, it would have been all too easy for me to kick him out of my limo or my five-star hotel. I was only aiming to make amends with Luan, and by extension her family, I had no reason to tolerate him. But if I did that, if I had bouncers throw his sorry behind out of my hotel-"

"Why didn't you do that?" Lola asked impulsively. "It would have been justified, and hilarious!"

"But using my wealth and influence to manhandle and throw out a poor, hapless commoner? Wouldn't such an act only validate all those nasty accusations in the eyes of those who have a vendetta against me or those that view me as a spoiled brat wanting to lord over the common folk?"

Lola deflated upon hearing that. She never considered how being powerful and influential could have such major drawbacks, like people automatically judging you far more harshly than an average person out of pure envy.

"I….yes, I guess it would?"

"Which is why the best revenge is to prove these people wrong, my dear Lola. To make them look like the bad guys by showing everyone that their accusations are utter bunk." Kathleen finished. "That's how you handle these things, by being the bigger woman and by exposing them for the hypocrites they are. Be your best self, whatever that might need to be in the given situation."

"So….if Lana goes around saying bad things about me?"

She felt Kathleen's hand on her shoulder. "And are you going to validate those accusations?"

Lola gained a determined look. "No! I won't."

"Good girl, now? Put your skills to good use. Use your charm and your wit to win those kids over. Do whatever you can to get into their good graces, no matter what you have to do. Prove to them that you are the superior twin and the one they should be pinning for to have as a friend. Just remember, be subtle, and don't impose yourself on them."

"Subtle, I can be subtle." Lola told herself and tightened her fists. "I can sweat talk people."

"Then enough moping, go there and do it!"

"Yes, I will!" Lola hugged her once more. "Thanks, Kathleen. I'll make you proud, I promise!"

And so Lola ran back to do her job. Kathleen watched her and smiled to herself.


"So he huffed and puffed and blew the house down." Ryan had to stop after every page and gag to the side from how stupid the story was. The little kiddies that were listening to him didn't seem all that invested in the story either, they seemed bored, but he wasn't getting paid to care about that.

"God, this is so stupid…." Ryan grumbled under his breath when he saw one of the kids raise their hand.

"Seriously now?" Ryan made a face before deadpanning. "I'm reading you "The Three Little Pigs", what part of this story could possibly leave you asking questions?"

"Can wolves really do that?" the kid asked innocently.

"No, they can't. And they don't wear raggedy overalls and top hats either." he said flatly. "Trust me, kiddo, I know wolves. If they want to kill you, they'll just go for the throat and not waste time huffing and puffing. Plus, it's a freaking straw house! You honestly think a straw house could hold back a goddamn wolf? C'mon, use some common sense, something whoever came up with this story didn't. I could easily bust my way through a straw house. Heck, you twerps could too. It's straws! You do know what straws are?"

"The things you drink your soda with?"

Ryan facepalmed.

"I think he means hay." Another kid said.

"It would be structurally unstable either way." Ryan rolled his eyes and looked back at the book.

"Then why doesn't the wolf just break in?"

"What do I know, probably because he's a moron." Ryan shrugged before reading on.

"Terrified of the Big Bad Wolf, the first little pig ran as fast as he could…oh, c'mon on now? They're just aping the sugar-coated Disney version!" Ryan lamented.

The kids looked at him in confusion.

"Isn't that how the story usually goes?" one of them asked.

Ryan snorted. "Maybe in the censored pansy version, but not in the original. In the original version, the wolf devours the first pig, then does the same thing to the stick house and eats the second one." Finally, he got a reaction out of them, mild shock.

"And what happened to the third one?"

"Well, the wolf obviously couldn't just bust his way into a brick house, so he tried climbing though the chimney, but the third pig planned ahead and placed a cooking pot filled with boiling water waiting for him at the end of it. In the end, the third pig enjoys some nice wolf stew. You see, the moral of the story is not to be a dumbass and make your house structurally sound, so a big predator can't just drop by and eat you. That's why we build houses. It's called a cautionary tale, it's what fairy tales used to be back when they had balls. You do not want to know what the Big Bad Wolf did to Little Red Riding Hood in the original tale."

Now he had their full attention.

"What happened in the original tale?"

Ryan grew a little uncomfortable. As tone-deaf as he was to children's sensibilities, even he knew that there were some stories where he had to draw the line.

"That's….not very appropriate for you, but…" suddenly he had an idea. These poor runts were clearly bored out of their skulls being stuck at this place, so if he was already there he might as well try to brighten their day with some real entertainment.

"You know what, screw this book!" Ryan threw the storybook over his shoulder hitting another volunteer in the head with it. Ignoring the audible "Ow!", Ryan resumed storytelling, now with some actual investment in his voice.

"But if you want to hear a thrilling tale involving a ravenous wolf, then I've got one for you."

The kids seemed interested and sat up at full attention. "Did you meet a real wolf?" one asked.

Ryan laughed. "Did I? Boy, I didn't meet just any wolf, I met the biggest, baddest, blood-thirstiest lobo in the world! A beast as big as a cow, his fur darker than the night, his eyes as red as blood, his teeth as sharp as butcher knives, claws like meat-hooks. A savage, fearless man-eater by the name of…..One Eye!"

The kids jerked back in fright, but kept listening, their small eyes fixated on their storyteller.

Ryan grinned, this was starting to get fun. "So there I was, going on a camping trip all by my lonesome. And I don't mean going to one of those sanitized camping sites filled with other campers, no, no, no, no. I went camping like a real man, hiking deep into the dark and foreboding woods with nothing on me but my clothes and my trusty switchblade, no backpack, no gun, no food, not even any shoes. And that's when the behemoth and I first met! I was catching my own food with a makeshift fishing rod made out of a branch, enjoying the tranquil scenery around the lake, unaware that I was being watched…."


"Enjoy your stay!" Parvana waved at the family bringing in the newest kid to be administrated at the hospital. She promptly slumped in her seat and sighed. Where was the actual receptionist? This was one long coffee break?

"Anything else I'm required to do?" Lucy appeared in front of the desk, carrying a sweaty odor. She had just returned from walking all the way to the nearest toy store, buying as many toys as possible with one of Kathleen's numerous credit cards, dragging them all back to the hospital in a huge sack and dragging it upstairs, and refilling the hospital's toy stock, which was already a humongous mountain threatening to collapse.

"I think you've earned a break, kid." Parvana said sympathetically and offered her a can of soda, holding another one for herself. Lucy was hesitant to take it.

"It's okay, I didn't poison it." Parvana joked. Sighing, Lucy took it and took a couple of swigs. After her journey to the toy store, it was rather refreshing.

"Don't the patients have any more demands that I could help with?" Lucy asked reluctantly.

Parvana was impressed with how this 7-year-old was taking her job this seriously. "No, really. You should take a break. You've been a very helpful assistant, even with all these ridiculous requests. I personally think Kathleen could invest her vast wealth in better ways for this place instead of pilling on more toys in the basement to collect dust, but you did what you were told to do, and I admire that."

Lucy actually got praised for doing something? This was still uncharted territory for her, especially coming from a stranger. She didn't know what to think of it.

"So….. what kind of trouble is your family in?"

Lucy froze on the spot.

"I'm not judging." Parvana shrugged. "What? You think you're the only one here who desperately needs cash to fix a mess they made before their parents find out?"

"That's why you're here?" the goth asked, completely caught by surprise.

"Plenty of us are. I'm not gonna snitch on my friends, but as for me…..eh, I'd rather not have my mom know I broke her vase, but a replacement won't be cheap." Parvana admitted, tugging her collar. Lucy didn't say anything, trying to process this information.

"So want to share your story?" Parvana asked idly, not at all anticipating what she was about to hear.

"Our babysitter got pushed out of a window." Lucy said in her trademark emotionally-detached tone. "We need to pay her hospital bill by the end of the day."

Unsurprisingly, the teen's eyes widened in shock, so Lucy quickly added. "I didn't push her, it was Lola. The little blonde that yelled at you."

"Oh….that explains things." Parvana understood, still unnerved. "And I thought I screwed up royally? So that's why you put up with Kathleen and her cloying nonsense?"

"Put up with her?" her choice of words caught Lucy's interest. "You don't like working for her?"

"Not really." Parvana didn't hesitate with her answer. "I'm not exactly the biggest fan of Ms. Tisdale, most of us aren't."

"Why though? I thought she was the most popular student at Royal Woods Junior High?"

"She is, but here's a nugget of wisdom, kid. If you're rich and popular at school, you tend to be an insufferable snob and bully who treats everyone like lesser beings." Lucy studied her voice, noticing a definite sense of frustration, like she was speaking from personal experience.

"Actually, when I joined this group, it was the first time Kathleen ever addressed me like a thinking, feeling human being." Parvana added sardonically.

"So you're saying she's popular at school even though everyone knows what kind of a person she is?" Lucy asked, the other girl nodded. "But why?"

"Because she's rich, and the head cheerleader, and class president. She practically runs the school, when you're that powerful, people tend to look the other way or stay out of your path so they won't get crushed. It's not pleasant, but being a toady or just keeping your head down is the only way to survive. Nobody wants to get on her bad side, otherwise they end up like the school's resident outcasts, that weirdo Luan."

Luan clenched her firsts, but didn't remark on that. It occurred to her that she might be able to gather some insights into Kathleen's motives, to make sure this wasn't some elaborate scheme as Luan had warned her.

"So do you think Kathleen is sincere? Regarding her claims of being reformed and trying to be a humanitarian?"

"Eh…I don't really know." Parvana shrugged. "But I kind of doubt it. People don't just change overnight, I like to think her behavior finally caught up to her and she's trying to cover it up with her community service."

Lucy knew the actual reasons, if Kathleen was being truthful at least. But the gist of it was the same.

"And do you think she has ulterior motives for this? Not just to save her own skin?"

"Huh?"

"Like maybe this is part of some grander scheme and we are all unwitting pawns to her?"

"Kid, you have a funny imagination." Parvana replied with amused disbelief. "It's not my place to question her. I'm just doing my job and questioning her might get me fired."

Lucy frowned, it didn't seem like she wanted to push this further. Though from the look of things, she was just as much locked out of the loop as any of them and obviously wasn't a friend of Kathleen's either.

"And trust me, I'd be one of the last people Kathleen would share any private information with." Parvana waved her hand.

"Um…yeah, I guess you're right." Lucy sighed, wondering how her siblings and Ryan were doing.


Wow, time just flies by these days? This should have been out a long time ago. I wish I could comment on this chapter more, but I'm just really tired now. The highlight of it though was undoubtedly Lola still having...issues fully accepting her faults, and not helped by Kathleen being the only one willing to hear her out and giving her some questionable advice. And Lisa brought her teleportation remote with her (remember that from chapter 11), I'm pretty sure that won't have any consequences XD