Lincoln tried so hard to avoid any trouble, any needless complications. Was one day of relative normality too much to ask for? Well, no matter how hard he tried, chaos and danger seemed to follow him and his family everywhere this week like an angel of death. Today turned out to be no different, as he found his molecules being transported from Royal Wood's Children Hospital to destination unknown.
The next thing they knew, he and Lisa found themselves in the middle of a highway, with honking cars bolting past them. They both screamed, while Darcy looked around in surprise.
"Where are we?" she asked as Lincoln grabbed her and Lisa and pulled them out of the way of a speeding car.
"Lisa! Get us out of here!" he screamed before hearing another horn and barely dodging another oncoming vehicle.
Lisa tried to grab the remote from Darcy, while Lincoln screamed as a huge SUV came speeding at them. But Darcy accidentally pressed the remote and they disappeared in another flash of light.
But then, they found themselves at a construction site. Specifically, they were on a beam being suspended by rope. Seeing the massive drop below them, Lincoln and Lisa yelped and hugged the beam they were on.
"How did you do this, Wisa?" Darcy asked. "Are you a wizard?"
"I'm a scientist! Give me that!" Lisa cried, only for the beam to tilt.
Lincoln looked up and saw the rope snapping from the extra weight. "No! No!"
They found themselves falling, with Lincoln's clown wig wafting across the air, but grabbing onto the remote, Lisa managed to open a portal below them and they fell into it.
Lincoln landed on something hard and steely and the girls on top of him. They were in pitch-black darkness, with only the faint glow from the remote providing a meager source of light.
"Ow…" Lincoln rubbed his back and felt around, gripping what seemed to be a steel bar. "Where are we?"
The girls got off him and Lisa used the flashlight built into her device to look around. She flashed it at her brother and saw him lying on a train track.
"I believe we're in a tunnel-"
She was cut off by a deafening train horn and the whole tunnel lit up. The Loud siblings screamed once more at the sight of the giant incoming train. Lisa pressed the remote frantically and they disappeared a millisecond before being flattened.
The next second they were breathing in cold, high altitude air. Lincoln realized that the three of them were standing on a tiny cliff ledge overseeing Royal Woods. Lincoln and Lisa pressed themselves against the wall, but Darcy peered down.
"Look at the view?" she marveled and nearly fell down if Lincoln hadn't caught her leg and pulled her back.
"Lisa, get us out of here."
"Just a minute, I need to calculate the right coordinates." Lisa retorted. "Now, in which part of town is the children's hospital-"
"Forget that! Just beam us somewhere safe!" no sooner did Lincoln say that, the ledge underneath their feet started to crumble.
"Eh, good idea!" Lisa was quick to agree and zapped them away just as the rock fell off the cliff.
Next, they found themselves on a concrete platform, surrounded by water.
"Where are we now?" Lincoln wondered.
"Look, mommy! How come they get to see the animals up close?" he looked up and saw a small child and his dumbfounded mother staring down at them.
"I think we're in a zoo enclosure?" Lisa realized.
"Teddy bear!" Darcy exclaimed happily.
"What teddy-" Lincoln swallowed a lump as a huge shadow was cast over them.
Him and Lisa screamed at the sight of a 10-foot-tall polar bear standing on its back legs and roaring at them.
Lisa pressed some buttons and they were zapped away just a as the bear's massive paws slammed against the concrete where they were.
They were transported to a new location, and a nauseous odor assaulted their nostrils.
"Pe-yew!" Darcy clenched her nose. "I don't want to be here."
Lincoln felt relieved and sighed. "At least a junkyard is safe. Lisa, can you now-"
A bullet flew past them, grazing the left tip of Darcy's hair.
"You'll never get me alive!" a coarse voice cried and more bullets started flying. Lincoln grabbed the girls and pulled them behind a pile of junk. Lisa was quick to press the remote and they were gone.
From his trailer home, Flip peeked through the window but saw no one and scratched his head.
Inside the headquarters of the resistance, which happened to be the castle playhouse, as picked by Lieutenant Lola, since none of the dunderheads working above or below her rank could find any other place to assemble, a dozen kids in monster costumes sat there, tied up and gagged with whatever toy their opponents could stuff in their mouths.
They were surrounded by kids dressed like foot soldiers and a few dressed in fancy military garb, while a few were holding flashlights from above and pointing them at the captives. They all moved out of the way as Lola stepped into the light, together with Angie.
"Well, it seems we have wrangled every monster in town but one?" Lola said in an eerily calm tone.
"What should we do now, Lieutenant?" Angie asked her.
Lola casually removed the toothpick from her mouth and rubbed her chin. "What we are going to do is win this war. We basically have won, all that's left now is to nuke the head honcho of these beasts who started it all. But we can't nuke her until we have her location."
She removed the gag from the mouth of the kid dressed as Rodan. "What are you doing? This isn't fun anymore!" he cried, utterly petrified.
"Oh, it's not fun, is it?" Lola mocked him. "Maybe you and your army of abominations should have thought of that before terrorizing our fair city!"
Her followers cheered in agreement. Evidently, they had all collectively forgotten that this was just meant to be roleplaying.
Lola grabbed the boy by the chin and stared him right in the eye. "Now listen to me, Birdy. You better start singing before things get rough for you and your pals. Where is La….I mean your queen!"
"I want my mommy!" the boy cried.
"Eh, Lieutenant?" Angie tapped Lola's shoulder with her good arm. "Maybe we've gone a bit too far? They all look really scared?"
"Nonsense, General! There is no room for sympathy in war." Lola retorted. "Need I remind you that they were the aggressors? We are just defending ourselves."
"Well, I guess…"
"You guess right, sir. And these freaks would have no reason to fear us if they weren't so blindly loyal to their queen. But fear not, my friends!" Lola told her and the rest of the kids before adopting an ominous smile. "I know how to make the squealers squeal."
"How?" Angie asked.
"Cold-blooded torture." Lola crossed her arms, making the costumed kids quiver with fear.
"Now, how about I hear some suggestions? What's the most torturous thing you can think of?"
"We can stuff chill peppers down their noses!"
"We can give them swirlies!"
"Purple nurples!"
"How about wedgies!"
"How about tickle torture!"
"Yes, tickle torture!" more kids agreed with the last suggestion, but Lola paled upon hearing it.
"NO!" she commanded, trying not to shudder. "Absolutely not! That's too cruel! No living thing deserves tickle torture, no matter how heinous their actions are!"
"Then what should we do?" Angie asked her.
Regaining her composure, Lola pondered. "I know! We don't need to hurt them if we can simply scare them real bad." She explained before snapping her fingers. "Unleash the hound!"
Someone pushed Charles into the light and Lola petted his back. "There you are, my trusty canine companion." Charles shook fearfully as she petted him.
Lola turned back to her captives, specifically the kid in the Rodan costume, sporting an evil smile. "Now listen very carefully, you monster! Charles here is a highly trained attack dog. He may seem cute and harmless now, but all I need to do is utter one word! One command! And he'll turn into a ravenous killing machine that will tear you to pieces."
Charles tilted his head in confusion, while the costumed boy wetted his pants.
"Just one word needs to escape my lips, and this dog will make mincemeat out of you. You have until the count of three to talk. One-"
"I don't know where she is, she just told us to wreck the city and capture humans!" the boy cried, fighting his binds. "I haven't seen her since then!
Lola rubbed her chin. "Hmmm….his loyalty is stronger than I thought?"
"What's going on here!" a familiar raspy voice cut in.
Lola blinked in surprise and saw Lana, dressed in a salamander costume with her eyes visible through the mouth of the mask, barging in. The kids moved aside as she confronted the surprised Lola.
"Why is everyone here? What are you doing, Lola? Where are all my kaijus!"
Lola smirked triumphantly. "There they are." She took a step back and Lana gasped at seeing all her comrades tied up.
"What did you do to them?!"
"I won the war, dum-dum." Lola said matter-of-factly. "I assume you came here to surrender, now that your forces have been vanquished, your "highness"."
"What war are you talking about? Who let you join this game?"
"Why all of these nice kids did?" Lola spread her arms, gesturing at everyone. "They chose me as a leader because I protected them from your monsters."
"And by the way? What are you supposed to be? A big salamander?" Lola snorted. "How fitting, considering what a slimeball you are."
Her quip elicited laughter from the other kids. Lana blushed. "I'm a slimeball?! We were all having fun until you barged in and started kidnapping kids like some kind of psycho!"
"Oh, and like you and your goons weren't doing the same thing to these innocent kids?" Lola asked the others. "Do you call that fun and games? Being hunted down by monsters and dragged to their filthy lair?"
The kids looked at each other and started murmuring among themselves. Soon more and more of them voiced their agreement with Lola.
"We were just playing!" Lana yelled with frustration.
"And so am I." Lola shrugged. "Don't blame me and my friends for being the superior players and wiping the floor with your loser team!"
"Some sport she is?" Lola asked the kids. "She wouldn't let you play as kaijus and now she's all salty because you refused to bend to her will and just let yourselves be captured."
The kids voiced their agreement and started booing and cursing at Lana.
"What are you doing?!" Lana was utterly shocked. "This is Lola you're talking about!"
"Yes, and so?" Lola smirked. "I'm not allowed to participate in this game, huh? Wow, Lana. Not letting your own sister join in? That's a very, very mean thing to do!"
"I'm not mean! You're the mean one!"
"Oh, and if you think you're the good guy here how about you put your money where your mouth is, Lizard Lips!" Lola retorted. "You and me! One on one! Whoever wins this fight, wins the war?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Why, if you're the good guy here and I'm the bad guy, you will win? Won't you?" Lola shrugged. "The virtuous good guy always wins in any story. Or are you yellow?"
Lana seethed, as Lola clucked and started flapping her arms like wings.
"Oh, it's so on!" she pointed at her twin angrily.
"Alright, release those monsters, guys!" Lola ordered her subordinates. "I want them present to see their "mighty leader" fall like the phony she really is!"
"You're the one who's going down!" Lana retorted.
The bright ball of light flashed again, and this time, Lincoln, Lisa and Darcy were teleported to yet another place that was eerily dark. The girls hopped off Lincoln and took a look around. Fortunately, there was no sign of railroad tracks.
"Wow, look at this?" Darcy marveled at the strange environment made up of various rock formations, mainly stalagmites on the cold rocky floor and corresponding stalactites on the smooth and wet dome-shaped ceiling.
"Are you even remotely aware that we almost died several times?" Lisa asked her irritably, while clutching the remote securely in her hands. Darcy didn't seem to register that question as she was too preoccupied watching the rock formations. To her, it looked like a place straight out of a fairy tale, the kind of place that would harbor elves or gnomes.
Getting up, Lincoln soon realized they were inside a cavern, a small crack on the ceiling allowing a few rays of sun to lit up the otherwise dark and foreboding place. But at least there were no speeding cars or trains, or construction beams you could fall off of. Or gun-wielding lunatics.
"Lincoln…" his sister approached him tentatively, but stopped as he held his hand in front of her.
"Just. Shut. Up." He said between gasps and leaned on his knees to catch his breath. "Lemme put on my pants."
Blushing slightly, Lisa looked away as Lincoln slipped into his blue jeans and fastened his belt. He grabbed his clown nose and threw it away in irritation.
Lisa chuckled sheepishly. "Well…..this…this was an unexpected inconvenience?"
"You brought that thing with us." Lincoln said through gritted teeth. "That thingamajig is the reason we are here."
"Lincoln, I-"
"Just grab Darcy and keep her safe." Lincoln walked off. "I need a moment."
"Where are you going?" Lisa asked, but her question was answered as she saw the reflection of water on the cave ceiling and saw Lincoln walk towards a small spring overseen by a large boulder. He kneeled down and splashed some water into his face to cool his nerves.
Figuring it was better not to bother him, Lisa obeyed his command. But as she turned around, she saw no sign of Darcy.
"Oh, no." her heart raced and she started searching feverishly, turning on the flashlight on her teleportation remote. "Darcy! Where are you!" her calls were followed by strong echoes as she navigated past the stalagmites.
"Look at this?" Lisa yelped as she got tapped on the shoulder. Turning around, she jumped yet again after her flashlight fell on a nightmarish face.
As Lisa tripped over her own feet and fell on her butt, Darcy giggled. "Made you look!"
"Darcy, what are you doing?!" Lisa realized the latter was wearing a skull on her head. "That's unsanitary, take that thing off, you don't know where it's been!"
"The mask? Why?" Darcy asked as Lisa pulled the dusty skull off her head.
"That's not a mask, you cretin!" Lisa snapped. "It's a skull, a skull of a…." she took a second to examine it and noted the forked horns. "Um…a pronghorn, I believe?"
She looked back at Darcy. "Where did you find this?"
"Over there?" Darcy innocently pointed to her left and Lisa saw a jumbled-up pile of disarticulated bones. Feeling a shiver go down her spine, Lisa dropped the skull and wiped her hands against the nearest bolder.
"Ow!"
"Darcy?" Lisa turned around sharply and saw Darcy rubbing her rump. The genius saw an antler wedged between two rocks.
Lisa cautiously approached it, and found some more scattered bones lying around the floor. She groaned in annoyance. "We got to leave, this place must be a hotbed for parasites and diseases."
"Look at this, Wisa!" Lisa saw Darcy holding a femur and used it as a drum stick against a rock. "I'm playing music!"
Lisa was losing her patience and snatched the bone away from her. "Hey!" Darcy cried.
"I told you not to touch these bones, do you want us to get infected…." Her voice trailed off as her eyes fell on the bone. Something about it didn't seem right. The distinct shape of the femur seemed oddly familiar?
Meanwhile, Lincoln had washed up his clown makeup while splashing his face to calm himself. He took a few sips as well before letting out a long exhale. This was bad, if they don't bring Darcy back to the hospital pronto, they'll be in big trouble. If something didn't happen to them in this cave first. Like a cave-in or the place getting flooded by a sudden flash flood. Lincoln didn't want to wait and see.
Taking one final sip to stop himself from fainting from hyperthermia, he took notice of how crystal clear the water was. It was likely fed by a mountain stream and seemed to be coming from beneath the large boulder. He could make out all the individual rocks littering the floor, as well as a few tiny fish and newts swimming in it, and the human skull lacking its lower jaw….
"What?!" Lincoln gasped, thinking he must have been seeing things. He rubbed his eyes before taking a second look, and sure enough, he saw a human skull, along with a ribcage and part of the right arm still attached to it, resting at the bottom of the spring.
In shock, he jumped back and fell on his rump. He crawled away from the water. What was that? Was that a human body?! No, no, no! It couldn't be! It made no sense?! He needed to get out of here!
"Lisa! Darcy!" he cried instinctively. "Where are you!"
"Over here, Lincoln!" The boy scrambled to his feet and followed the direction of the voice, but as he did so, he nearly tripped on something. He halted upon hearing the distinct sound of bones clacking against the hard stone floor and he noticed how many of them were scattered all around him.
"Lincoln, I'm here!" Hyperventilating, Lincoln spotted Lisa emerging from behind a stalagmite.
Lincoln wasted no time rushing to his baby sister, who looked just as mortified as he was.
"Brother, I do not wish to cause panic, but I have reason to believe this place isn't as harmless as it first appeared." She took a deep breath before dropping a bomb. "I found human remains!"
Lincoln's eyes widened. "So did I?! There was a human skeleton at the bottom-"
"S-s-skeleton?!" Lisa jerked back. "You found a human skeleton?!"
But Lincoln didn't answer, as something caught his eyes and he pushed past her. "Lincoln, what are you doing?" Lisa followed him and lit the way.
Almost in a trance-like state, Lincoln searched the cave floor, his jaw hanging wide-open as he found more remains littered across it. The flashlight revealed many bones, most too partial to identify, but he recognized some more intact remains, which appeared to belong to rabbits and beavers, deer and pronghorn, goats and sheep, even a moose antler was lying among them.
But those weren't the ones that caught the boy's attention. He recognized some of them from his biology books. A femur or two, some ulnas and radiuses, and a very distinct pelvis and soon after, a ribcage. Along with them, there were some more foreign objects, like a camera and a fanny pack and a baseball cap.
"Oh, God…" Lincoln slowly covered his mouth, his entire body shaking. He felt like he was going to faint. This was like a horror movie come to life. The third instance this week. And just in case there was any doubt about the identity of those bones, he soon stumbled upon something that made him freeze on the spot. Lisa had the exact same reaction.
They found a mostly articulated human skeleton sprawled across the rocky floor. Its jaws were gaping wide open, and pieces of what seemed to be a blue sweater along with dark trousers and one sneaker were still attached to it, as was a backpack, still clinging to the right arm. The skeleton was no bigger than Lincoln. Lincoln didn't know if his mind was playing tricks on him, but he swore he heard the kid's deathly cries before shaking himself, realizing he was covered in cold sweat.
"Lincoln…" he felt Lisa's hand softly gripping his, her voice was meek. He looked at her and saw a single tear run down her face.
"I….I don't want to be here." She told him, without any hint of her usual intellect. She sounded, for all intent and purpose, like a frightened child.
"Yes, yes…" Lincoln agreed in a shaky voice. "We have to get back to Royal Woods, now. You have to crunch those coordinates."
"I….I can't remember…" Lisa was starting to panic while clutching the remote in her shaky hands.
Exhaling, Lincoln grabbed her by the shoulders, trying to keep his tone even. "Calm down, just calm down. You'll remember it, just focus on it."
"I'll….I'll try…" Lisa nodded, despite her breathing getting harder.
"Darcy? Come on?" Lincoln called for the other toddler but saw no sign of her, prompting him to get goosebumps.
"Up here!" Lincoln gasped as he saw Darcy ten feet off the ground, hugging a stalagmite and laughing.
"Wow! You wook so tiny down there?"
"Darcy, get down from there this instant!" Lincoln demanded. "You'll fall!"
"No, I won't." Darcy shook her head defiantly. She had so much pent-up energy from lying in bed for so long, and this adventure that Lisa and her brother took her on was so exhilarating, it was intoxicating.
"Darcy, get down from there!" Lisa cried out.
"You focus on the remote, I'll get her down." Lincoln told her.
"But-"
"Just do it!" he snapped at her, making her flinch and nod.
Looking back at Darcy, Lincoln tried to scale up the stalagmite, but he was grossly out of shape. Looking up again, his pupils shrank as he saw Darcy swing her body back and forth.
"No!" he cried as she made a daring leap and hugged another stalagmite. Lincoln nearly fainted as he saw her slipping against the rough surface, but thankful, she gained her footing.
"Darcy, please! We have to leave this place!" Lincoln begged her. "We…the adventure has to continue! We can't get stuck in this dingy cave!"
But the toddler wasn't listening, she was eyeing a ledge that made up a narrow pathway along the cave wall. Lincoln screamed inwardly as he saw her jump again and land with one foot on the ledge, balancing herself back and forth before fortunately falling forward and onto the ledge. Darcy laughed and whooped with exhilaration before looking down.
"C'mon! Get up!" she gestured for Lincoln to follow her. "I can see evewything fwom here!"
Lincoln tried to climb up the cliff, but decided that it was better to follow her from ground level and catch her if she fell. He followed after her, as she trotted along the ledge, but soon lost sight of her.
"Darcy!" he cupped his mouth and shouted. "Don't go there! I can't see you!"
Unable to see her anymore, he moved onwards, hoping the rocks would become less clustered so he could spot her again, but as he did that, he noticed another, even brighter source of light.
"Is this the cave opening?" Lincoln wondered and walked up to a pair of large boulders pressed against each other, but there was a gap between them, and shining through it, what seemed like a heavenly gate offering them an escape from this dark, hellish pit.
But just as Lincoln felt a little hope, he heard a faint but startling noise. Snoring, deep, raspy snoring. His heart started pounding, and Lincoln was hesitant to see what lie ahead. Judging from the volume of it, this was no fox or raccoon. The sound grew more audible as he approached the entrance. Growing more and more fearful, Lincoln took a cautious peek, mindful not to make the faintest noise.
What he saw confirmed his worst fears. Lying just ten yards away was One Eye! His forelimbs were crossed and he was resting his head on them, soundly asleep. His huge, dark form was forming a barrier between Lincoln and freedom.
Instinctively, Lincoln jerked back and fell on the icy cold floor. He felt dizzy, nauseous even. All reality seemed to stop and everything around him went mute except for the sound of his own rapidly beating heart. Tears started pouring from his eyes, while his whole body shook. This couldn't be real. He had to be hallucinating this! Fate couldn't be this cruel to him! Those bones they found….oh, God, oh God!
Lincoln was ready to vomit from sheer anxiety, when Lisa's voice finally penetrated his trance.
"Lincoln! Lincoln!" Shaking himself, he looked over his shoulder and saw her rush up to him. "I figured it-umph!"
Lincoln's hand clamped tightly over her mouth and he pulled her close to him, shushing her. Lisa immediately noticed her brother's terrified demeanor, even more terrified than when he found those bones. She too heard the snoring and felt her blood running cold.
"Wha…" she pushed his hand away but kept her voice as low as possible. "…what's that out there?" She was sure she wouldn't like the answer.
Once again, her brother seemed to fall into trance as his faraway gaze shifted at the entrance.
"Lincoln, what did you see out there?" Lisa asked fearfully.
"One Eye…." He replied in a detached, hollow tone "….he'll…he'll kill us."
"Who's One Eye?" Lisa asked. Lincoln didn't respond, he seemed to be out of breath and was wheezing heavily.
Lisa pulled herself free and took a peek herself. Her face promptly paled and she crawled backward towards her big brother. "It's a woo….a woof….a wfffff….a Canis lupus lycaon!"
Lincoln glanced at her. She was visibly afraid, as much as he was, and he was positively petrified. By some cruel twist of fate, he was brought to One Eye once again, and this time without Lynn and Ryan to protect him. He was on his own, and with two toddlers caught in the crossfire. And one of them was his baby sister. A wave of protectiveness flooded his sense, briefly overriding his deathly fear of the, now fully confirmed, man-eating wolf.
He tried to think. He was asleep? One Eye was asleep. There was still hope? Trying to speak clearly, he asked Lisa, "The teleporter, you have it with you?"
Lisa weakly nodded. "Good, good, you have to use it, I don't care where it takes us-"
"But what about Darcy?"
"Darcy?!" Lincoln grew a look of horror. He had totally forgotten about her.
As if on cue, the siblings heard the sound of walking and giggling, as well as pebbles falling. They took another peek outside and their worst fears were confirmed.
Darcy was strolling along another ledge, just above One Eye, seemingly unaware of the wolf's presence. She kicked some more pebbles, which tumbled down the cliff wall and missed One Eye's head by a hair. The wolf's ear flicked, and the siblings held their breath in fear. Fortunately, he didn't stir awake.
"Lincoln, we can't leave her?" Lisa pleaded. "He'll eat her alive."
Lincoln didn't object. At that moment, he remembered one of the most poignant and reoccurring messages in Ace Savvy comics; being a hero meant doing the right thing, not saving your own bacon.
Lincoln knew there was only one option, and only one way out. His face dropped and grew hard as stone. "We have to get past him." He said simply.
"Get past him?" Lisa asked incredulously. "But…but canines have very acute hearing, it won't take much noise to wake him up?"
"I know, that's why we can't make any noise." Lincoln said despondently.
"Listen, Lisa. If he wakes up, I'll distract him and make him chase me, you get Darcy and get the hell out here. No question. Just do it."
"What? But-"
"No, question. Now c'mon!" Lincoln seized her hand, and without another word, pulled her with him as he took the first bold step out of the cave, trying to circumvent the black, hairy, fang-faced hurdle in their path. Lincoln bit his lip and mustered every single ounce of willpower to remain composed.
Was this how it felt confronting your worst fears? Comics and movies sure made it seem a lot more glorious.
The wolf's enormous form came closer into view, his chest rising up and down, some of his teeth exposed as his lower jaw hung limply. Lincoln felt his sister stopping and her feet were dragging across the floor.
"C'mon, Lisa." He urged her and glanced at her. The 3-year-old was having trouble breathing.
"I can't…" she seemed ready to break down crying. Lincoln didn't have time for this, they had to move now or never. Acting quickly, he threw one arm under Lisa's armpit, with the intent of carrying her.
Lisa didn't notice that as she caught sight of something else. The wolf's good eye opened, his yellow sclera staring right into Lisa.
"L-Lin…" she tried to speak as she was scooped up.
"Be quiet." Lincoln shushed her.
"He's awake…"
His eyes widening, Lincoln swiftly turned around, only to find One Eye peacefully snoring. He grew slightly annoyed. What was Lisa talking about?
Above them, Darcy stopped as she noticed her friend and her brother, along with an unfamiliar face.
"A doggy…" Darcy grew a smile. She loved dogs!
"Lincoln, I did see him-"
"Shhhhhh…" Lincoln tried to hurry around the wolf, when it happened.
One Eye yawned and stretched his forelimbs, halting Lincoln and Lisa as they got trapped between them. His paws wrapped around Lincoln's left leg and pulled it into a hug. Lincoln lost balance and toppled to the ground, dropping Lisa.
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no….." His mind was racing and sweat dripped down his head. It only got worse, as One Eye's jaws engulfed his scrawny limb, his fangs poking his soft flesh and the wolf started softly nibbling on it.
Miraculously, Lincoln refrained from screaming. This was it! De was a goner. Done for. Dead.
"Don't move a muscle…" he heard Lisa's hushed voice, and saw her arrive with a leg bone in her hands.
"Lisa, don't be stupid, get-"
"Shut up, you idiot." Lisa snapped and moved the bone into the wolf's grasp. "Now, slowly move your leg."
Just as his jaws slid off his leg a bit, Lincoln slowly slipped it out of One Eye's grasp while Lisa simultaneously moved the bone in its place. In a second, Lincoln's leg popped free, while One Eye seized the bone and started gnawing it.
Sweating profusely, Lincoln struggled to get on his feet. He grabbed Lisa and picked her up.
"C'mon…" he turned around, but Lisa squirmed in his grasp, her eyes still glued on the wolf. Maybe her eyes played a trick on her? Maybe he really was firmly asleep?
Nope! To her horror, she saw him turning his head towards them until his functioning eye could see them. But as she tried to warn her brother, she lost her voice.
"We're almost there, stay calm." Lincoln tried to reassure her. Lisa hastily glanced at him, then back at the wolf. But he was gone! At that very second, Lincoln came to a grinding halt. She knew exactly why.
Lincoln couldn't believe his eyes. One Eye was blocking their path, staring him down.. Lincoln had no one to protect him, it was the two of them, plus Lisa. One Eye barred his teeth, emitting a fierce growl while his claws scraped against the rock floor.
Within a second, he lunged at them, jaws wide open. Turning on her remote, Lisa managed to flash her light into his eye, making him yelp in surprise. Falling backward, Lincoln dropped Lisa again, and both rolled out of the way as the wolf's paws slammed into the ground.
Getting up and crawling back, Lincoln's back hit the rock wall. The wolf snarled and shook his head, Lincoln feared he would see him any second, but much to his horror, One Eye turned the other way and found Lisa on the ground.
Lisa flopped on her back, only to get pinned down by One Eye.
"Lincoln!" she cried frantically, as the wolf's paw pressed down into her small chest.
"No! Let her go!"
"Who-ho!" a new voice caught the black wolf off-guard, as Darcy jumped on his back and grabbed his shaggy neck fur.
"Darcy, what are you doing!" Lisa cried.
"Giddy up, doggy!" Darcy laughed. Snarling and barking madly, One Eye swung his head left and right before letting Lisa go, nearly crushing her ribs under his weight. Lisa crawled back, but One Eye leaped forward, and stepped on the toddler's left arm.
She cried in pain, as the wolf started flailing around, trying to snap his jaws at the small child on his back but couldn't reach her. He tried swiping at her with his front paws but couldn't reach her either.
Darcy laughed. "Good doggy! Faster! Faster!"
"Lincoln, do something!" Lisa pleaded. "He'll kill her!"
A million thoughts were running through Lincoln's head. What to do?! What to do?! The situation grew even more dire as One Eye shook the toddler off, but Darcy still clung to his neck, barely out of reach of his snapping jaws.
"You're so soft!" Darcy laughed, hugging his neck.
Right then, Lincoln felt a bulge in his left pocket and he got an idea.
The pepper spray! The pepper spray he had confiscated from Lana! But he only had one shot, he had to make it count.
Darcy fell off the wolf, landing on her butt. She laughed happily and clapped her hands. "Again!"
One Eye snarled at her with murderous intent.
"Leave her alone!" Using her right arm, Lisa grabbed the bone the wolf had left behind as a weapon, but then…
"Hey, One Eye! Over here!" Lincoln's voice made the canine look over his shoulder.
"Over here! Come get me, you cowardly cur!" Lincoln's waived his arms, trying everything to divert his attention away from the girls. It worked, as the wolf stormed over towards him.
Lincoln braced himself, he had to wait until the last moment. He had to stand in place as One Eye's maw of razor-sharp fangs was zeroing in on him. "Now!" Once the wolf was just a foot away from him, he pressed his thumb against the trigger.
Lincoln sprayed the content of the can at the wolf, creating a huge red cloud that engulfed the latter's face. One Eye squealed in pain, the burning hot spray assaulting his eyes and sensitive nose. Blinded, he reared up and started stumbling back on two legs. Acting fast, Lisa used the opportunity to throw the bone she was holding under his feet.
It made him trip and slam his head and back into the cave wall and slump to the ground.
"One Eye's fun!" Darcy cheered. "Let's play again!"
"I think he had enough games for one day!" Lincoln said nervously and grabbed both girls under his arms before making a mad dash down the hill. As it turned out, the cave was located on top of a hill, surrounded by conifer forest, and it made it all the easier for Lincoln to hit his stride as he ran faster than he ever did.
From up here, Lincoln saw Royal Woods in the distance, surrounded by forest and open plains, and beyond that, he could see a small blue line between the horizon and the sky, which must have been Lake Michigan.
"The tree!" Lisa cried. "Watch out for the tree!"
The open meadow gave way to dense forest and Lincoln barely avoided colliding with a pine tree, but he couldn't stop his momentum or the pull of gravity, and continued speeding downhill, following a path and dodging yet another incoming tree.
Lisa closed her eyes, while Darcy cheered. This was the most fun she had in weeks. Lincoln tried to skid to a halt, only to trip over a fallen log and send the girls flying. Darcy fell into a soft bush, while Lisa was sent tumbling down the hill, only stopping once she slammed into a stump.
"Ow…" she groaned.
Lincoln was likewise sent tumbling downhill, rolling along the path until there was no more path, and crashed through a bush, continuing to roll down the now grassy hill, receiving many small cuts and bruises in the process. He rolled himself into a ball before crashing through another bush and then another, the latter being a thorn bush. And as luck would have it, right below the thorn bush was a rock shaped like a ramp that sent him hurling into the air.
Gravity soon caught up with him and he fell into a patch of bushes, but landed on the back of a browsing animal. The startled pronghorn bleated in fright and galloped down the hill with Lincoln on its back.
"Wow! Calm down, boy!" Lincoln cried before the pronghorn bucked and sent him face-first into a mudhole and ran uphill.
With his wild ride finally over, Lincoln muttered, "I hate rodeos."
He staggered out of the mud and his first thought was if Lisa and Darcy were okay. Luckily, he didn't have to worry, as the two came running down to him.
"Lincoln, are you okay?!" Lisa asked.
"No." he said bluntly, while wiping mud from his face.
"Again! Can we go on another ride!" Darcy asked exuberantly.
Lincoln had to suppress the urge to snap at her and instead turned to Lisa.
"The remote? Is it working?"
"Yes, yes, the remote." Lisa pulled it out of her pocket. Thankfully, it was undamaged. The same couldn't be said about her left arm, however, judging from the searing pain she was trying to ignore.
Lincoln dropped down on his knees and started breathing in and out. Darcy patted him on his back.
"Wisa, I don't think your brother is feewing well." She said with concern.
"I'll feel much better once we're back at the hospital."
"Just a moment, Lincoln." Lisa held the remote in her right hand, having already typed in the numbers. "We won't be staying in this beastly neighborhood any longer."
Suddenly, they heard the pronghorn from before, and saw it galloping towards them. Acting quickly, Lincoln pushed the girls and himself out of the way before they could get trampled.
"Look, it's the goat I saw!" Darcy pointed at its fleeing form.
"What's gotten into it?" Lincoln wondered, but got his answer once he spotted a dark form descending down the hill, ears lowered, fangs barred and with teary eyes.
"Lisa!" Lincoln cried. "Get us out of here!"
"I'm doing it, I'm doing!" Lisa started pressing the remote.
Lincoln grabbed Darcy and Lisa into a hug, while the latter was shaking the remote, which was finally starting to glow.
Closing the distance between them within seconds, One Eye came down towards them. Lincoln and Lisa screamed while Darcy welcomed the "doggy" with open arms, when a bright blue light engulfed the three, while a startled One Eye halted and stepped back, getting blinded by the bright light.
Once he could see again, the wolf shook his head and was dumbfounded to see that he was all alone. He sniffed the ground where the kids stood, and found their scent trail abruptly ending there. He looked around, utterly bewildered, but there was no sign of the kids.
Meanwhile, Ryan and Lynn were walking through the halls of the hospital, both nervous and unsure of what to do now, especially the latter. She opened a window to catch some fresh air to calm her nerves, but it didn't help much.
"Ugh! When she gets back, I swear I'm going to wring that egghead's neck!" she lamented.
"Ditto, assuming nothing bad happened." Ryan quipped humorlessly.
Lynn gave him a horrified reaction. "Do not joke about this!"
"Trust me, I don't see nothing funny about this." He raised his hands. "But Lincoln got caught in Lizzie's teleportation beam or whatever that was, who knows where they could have ended up at? For all we know, she could have teleported them to Mars and…" his voice trailed off as he realized the horrifying implications, so he just grabbed his throat and made a gasping noise.
Lynn's eyes widened and she had to lean against the window frame for support, as she felt like fainting.
"Ryan, Lynn? What are you doing here?" Lucy's voice cut in. The tweens saw the goth approach them, carrying a large stack of papers. Parvana caught up with her, also carrying a large stack.
"Lucy, we have to bring these documents back to-" she stopped as she noticed Ryan and grew an annoyed look.
"What are you doing here? Weren't you supposed to be storytelling-"
"Look, missy. We don't have time for this shit." An annoyed Lynn cut her off.
"What were you talking about Lincoln?" Lucy asked them, sensing that something wasn't right with her sister and Ryan.
The two exchanged nervous glances, and Ryan leaned down and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Eh….Lucy? Can we talk to you…. in private." He said in a hushed tone. "There's…there's a problem."
But just as he said that, a big blue ball of energy formed in front of them and grew in size before combusting, blinding them for a second. Once their eyes adjusted, they found Darcy, a disheveled Lisa and an even more disheveled and muddy Lincoln huddled together right in front of them.
"Um…false alarm I guess?" Ryan shrugged.
"Lincoln?" Lynn exclaimed, feeling a massive wave of relief, but Parvana gawked at the trio in shock before dropping her stack and yelping, tripping and falling back.
"Bro, what happened?" Lynn helped Lincoln up, but the boy didn't seem to take notice of her as he looked around.
"We're here?" he babbled before feeling himself up, especially his head and neck, to make sure they were still attached to his body.
"Yes, we're here?" Lisa let out a nervous laugh as she too looked around. "And…and fortunately One Eye was not caught in the beam? That sure would have been a disaster if he did."
Lynn and Ryan looked at her incredulously. "What did you say?" the both blurted.
"He's a big fwiendly doggy we pwayed with, and he always looks like this." Darcy explained and shut her left eye tight for demonstration.
Lynn's jaw dropped while Ryan looked at Lincoln incredulously. Surely this was not true? The pipsqueak faced the wolf alone, and lived?
"Did he hurt you, Lincoln?" Lucy asked him worriedly.
"I'm still alive, so no." Lincoln said in a shaky tone, resting on his knees again and breathing slowly, trying to process the fact that he had cheated certain death once more.
Lisa felt like commenting that she did get hurt, but chose not to. Considering she was at a hospital, she better go and try to fix herself up.
"What the hell was that?!" Parvana exclaimed frantically, as she sat up, looking like someone who had just seen three people materialize out of a flash of light.
"You were…and they…the light….." she rambled.
The Louds and Ryan exchanged glances, not knowing what to say about that. Lincoln, Lynn, Ryan and Lucy knew one thing though, it would be very bad for them to have Parvana blab about Lincoln and Lisa's teleportation escapade, or that they took a patient for the ride.
"Wisa's a wizard!" Darcy said cheerfully, only adding to the teen's confusion.
"Ah, there you all are." Kathleen suddenly walked in on them. "I was wondering where…" she stopped upon seeing Lincoln and Lisa.
"Eh…..what happened to you two? Why are you covered in mud, Lincoln?"
The others all gulped, trying to think of a quick excuse, but Parvana jumped to her feet and pointed at them fearfully. "I saw them teleport here?!"
"You saw….what now?" Kathleen made an involuntary snort.
"They just appeared there! There….there was this…..this ball of blue light and suddenly….they were just there!?"
Kathleen gave her an unamused look and turned to the others. "Eh, mind explaining to me what she's trying to say?"
"Beats me, I don't know what she's rambling about?" Ryan shrugged.
"What?!" Parvana blurted. "You saw what happened!" she pointed at Lisa, Darcy and Lincoln. "They….just appeared there…out of nowhere….there was this light-"
"Wow, wow. Take it easy?" Ryan raised his hands. "What are you talking about?"
"What am I-you saw what happened! You all saw it!"
"Saw what?" Ryan raised his eyebrow, looking utterly baffled. "Lizzie and her friend were escorting Lincoln to the bathroom so he could get cleaned up after his torturous act?"
The others quickly caught on and played along. "Yes, what are you talking about them appearing in a flash of light or whatever you were trying to say?" Lynn asked her, trying her best to sound nonchalant and confused.
"Parvana, you feeling okay?" Lucy placed a hand on her arm. Parvana just stared at all of them incredulously. What was going on? Had she gone crazy?
"Not from the looks of things?" Kathleen rubbed her chin before placing a hand on the other teen's shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Parv. I didn't think receptionist duty would be so….psychologically draining on you?"
Parvana jerked her shoulder free and stepped back. "I'm not making this up! I know what I saw! What's wrong with all of you!"
Lincoln shook his head. Gaslighting? Well, they've done much worse things this week.
"Kathleen? I don't want to be a bother, but can I just go and clean myself up? I was totally cool with the kids pelting me with pies, but no one told them they were going to be mud pies?"
"Wisa?" Darcy tapped her new friend on the shoulder. "Can we go on another-" she was cut off by her own yawn.
"Aww…looks like someone had a fun day and is tired now?" Kathleen smiled at the toddler.
"Eh, yes. She's very tired." Lincoln nodded and gave Lisa a frantic look. "You were going to escort her back to bed, like right now."
Darcy pouted. She did feel a bit sleepy, but she wanted to go on more adventures.
"I'm not tired, I wanna-"
"That was enough fun for one day!" Lisa pulled her along, leading her away from the group. "C'mon, Darcy. I'll tuck you in!"
"Well, I think this was a job well done, I hope you all had a fulfilling experience?" Kathleen asked the others.
"Meh, wasn't too bad?" Ryan shrugged.
"I may have just kickstarted a career as a coach?" Lynn shrugged too.
"Yes, it…was very fun." Lincoln agreed, before excusing himself. "Love to chat, but I need to get cleaned." He left the group and headed towards the nearest bathroom. He needed a moment to himself.
"It was fairly uneventful?" Lucy shrugged as well.
"Uneventful?!" Parvana lamented. "But you saw…"
Ryan shook his head with pity and turned to Kathleen, twirling his finger next to his temple. "Coocoo."
"Don't call me crazy!" Parvana got all up his face, making him step back in fright. "You saw what happened, you liar! Why are you lying about this!"
"Parv, take a chill pill." Kathleen intervened and gently pushed her back. "You clearly had a rough day. Look, I'll get you a latte before we depart. That should help you relax."
"Acting crazy might entertain the kiddies, but you can't act like that around our next clients. You might give them a heart attack?"
"Next clients?" Lynn cringed a bit.
"Why of course, Lynn. Our group took part in the "kids shift"." Kathleen explained helpfully.
"And what's our next shift?" Ryan asked unenthusiastically. "How many do we have before we get paid?"
"Just one more. Now we're heading for Sunset Canyon. Y'know, the retirement home."
Lynn and Lucy were surprised to hear that. "Sunset Canyon?"
"Yes."
"Old people? Boooring." Ryan rolled his eyes. "Don't you have some other kiddies that need "buddies"? I had lots of fun as a storyteller."
"Well, there is one subsection of our group that always deals with kids. I think they could use some new members." Kathleen told him.
"Great, count me in." Ryan walked off. "C'mon, girls. Let's board that bus."
"Oh, but they are kids with autism." Kathleen clarified, making Ryan halt and turn around.
"On second thought, old folks aren't so bad." He passed by them. "They have lots of tales to tell."
The lego Tokyo city had been demolished entirely, with only a few buildings left standing. But they didn't last long either as a pair of battling twins smashed into one after the other.
Lola had Lana pinned down, but Lana kicked her off and knocked a building onto her. As it collided with Lola, it smattered into a million tiny pieces. The other kids watched the brawl from opposite sides, one side, the human civilians, cheering on the twin dressed in military garb, while the other, the kaijus, cheered the costumed twin.
While her twin was down, Lana jumped on her back and grabbed her into a headlock.
"Give up! You're no match for Ōsanshōua, Queen of Kaijus!"
"I'm more than a match for a phony like you!" Lola growled and sank her teeth into Lana's arm.
Lana cried in pain and let go. Lola got up and slammed her sister into another building, knocking it down, before grabbing a toy train and swinging it like a club. It hit Lana in the head, but it didn't phase her one bit.
"Ha, can't hurt me with my mask on!" Lana laughed while tapping the padded head she was wearing, before using it to headbutt Lola in the gut. She landed on her back and Lana tackled her to the ground.
"Eat buggers!" Lana dug into her nose and lowered her dirty finger at Lola. Lola grabbed her by the wrist, but Lana managed to smear it across her twin's face, making her cry.
Now livid, Lola turned the tables and pinned Lana under her body. She held up a perfume can and shoved it down the mask before spraying Lana in the face, laughing maniacally.
"Take a whiff of this!"
Lana managed to get up and they rolled around the ruins of the wrecked city, locked in combat.
"I hate you!" Lana yelled.
"I hate you more!" Lola retorted.
"I hate you even more!"
"I always hated you!"
"I hated you from the moment you were born!"
Lola grabbed Lana around the head and pulled her mask off.
"You can't do that!" Lana cried, when Lola grabbed her by the pigtails and started pulling them.
"Try and stop me, Lizard Breath!" Lola laughed but was thrown off.
"You are the worst sister ever!" Lana attacked her.
"No, you are!" Lola got up and they grappled with each other.
"I wish you were never born!" Lana growled.
"I wished that before you did!" Lola shot back.
"I hate you a thousand times!"
"I hate you a million times!"
"I hate you a billion times…times two!"
"I hate you infinity! Ha! You can't top that!" Lola bragged.
Growling, Lana used her free hand to poke her in the eyes.
Lola cried and let go of her, clutching her face.
"My eyes, my eyes! What have you done!" she screamed in the most agonizing tone Lana ever heard her utter.
Lola grabbed two white balls out of her pocket and threw them to the ground, shocking her twin.
"You blinded me!"
"Lola, I'm sorry?!" Lana stumbled back in shock, as the "eyeballs" rolled towards her.
"Sykes!" Lola tackled her, pushing her on her belly and tied her hands behind her back with a jump rope.
"I win! I have won! I am the good guy!" Lola pumped her fists into the air. The kids on her side cheered, while those dressed as kaijus sighed in disappointment.
"No fair, you dirty cheater!" Lana cried in anger. "You didn't win!"
"I so did!" Lola retorted smugly, with one foot pressing into Lana's back. "There are no rules in war!"
Suddenly, she was grabbed by the waist and hoisted into the air. "What the? Lemme go!"
"Damn. If you weren't you, Pinky, I might have commended you for your cunning battle tactics." She heard Ryan's deadpan tone.
"Lana! What's going on here?" Lynn kneeled down and untied her.
"Judging from the number of times the word "hate" was uttered and the devastation all around us, I reckon the clones had a sisterly dispute." Ryan shrugged.
Her eyes filling with hot tears, Lana jumped up and hugged the jock. "Lola came and spoiled all our fun!"
"Shut up, you big baby!" Lola retorted. "I singlehandedly made this game a lot more fun-ow!"
Ryan dropped her unceremoniously on her rump, and she landed on several lego bricks.
"You did that on purpose!" she hissed at him.
"Not denying that. And there's a lot more I want to do on purpose." Ryan said dangerously, making her flinch.
"C'mon, Lana, our shift's over." Lynn told her sister and grabbed her hand to make sure she wouldn't get into another brawl with her twin. "Forget about her now, cuz we are going to visit Pop-Pop."
"Pop-Pop?" she finally had Lana's attention. "Why now?"
"We're going to the old folk's home next. We'll explain it to you on the way there, but first, we must catch our bus." Lynn led her out of the play area.
Lana groaned. "Alright, but can we chuck Lola out of a window while we're driving?"
"Great idea, I second that." Ryan said sincerely as he followed them, leaving Lola alone.
Lola growled when a hand touched her shoulder.
"Tisk, tisk, so self-absorbed. So unappreciative. They don't know what they are talking about." She looked up and saw Kathleen smiling at her.
"Kathleen?"
"You were marvelous today, Lola. Not that I expected anything less from you."
"I…I was?" Lola asked.
"Oh, yes. You outshone everyone else today. Just look around you? You made all these kids so happy by orchestrating the most epic roleplay they ever witnessed in their young lives."
Lola remembered that she was still surrounded by the patients, and sure enough, they started cheering her, except for the costumed ones, who walked away sulking.
"That was awesome, Lola!" Angie exclaimed.
"Yes, will you be coming here again?"
"Oh, don't worry. With her stellar performance and how much everyone loves her, I have half a mind to make her a permanent member of the Teens of Tomorrow." Kathleen reassured them.
"You really think so?" Lola asked.
"Indubitably." Kathleen nodded. "Only someone truly devoted to our cause would go above and beyond to reenact an entire Japanese monster flick."
Lola frowned a bit. "Actually….it was Lana who came up with this idea."
"Don't be modest, Lols. She may have come up with the idea, but you're the one who built upon it and utilized it to its full potential. You made so much more than just a glorified game of hide and seek."
"Yeah…I guess I did." Lola agreed, enjoying the praise.
Kathleen patted her shoulder. "I'm very proud of you, Lola. Very, very proud."
Outside the hospital, there was a slight delay, as the bus the volunteers were supposed to board on was out of gas and needed to be refueled.
Lincoln was sitting on a bench together with Lucy, wearing a towel over his shoulders and a new candy striper uniform. Jenny gave him a cup of hot chocolate. Charles was sitting next to Lincoln, while Lucy was holding a disheveled and traumatized Cliff, who was shaking in her lap.
Ryan was holding Marceline, who looked no better than Cliff, and had tons of makeup crudely smeared all across her face.
"This is plain inhumane." Ryan said while petting her back. "I can't believe you talked me into letting the poor thing suffer so much."
"It was no picnic for our pets either." Lynn snarked, pointing at Cliff.
Ryan looked at his cat. "Marceline, I…I'm so sorry for this. I promise, I'll make it up to you."
The cat looked up sourly, growled and clawed his cheek. Ryan only flinched slightly and sighed. "Guess I deserved that."
"Don't worry. We all know what a menace those kids can be." Jenny patted Lincoln's shoulder before walking off.
Lynn watched her go before turning back to her brother. "So did that really happen? You ran into One Eye? And lived?"
"Why would he lie to us?" Lucy told her. "He's already displaying all the visible signs of PTSD."
"I did happened." Lincoln sighed. "Every single thing I told you happened."
He did not expect what happened next. Lynn chuckled and patted his arm.
"Well, congrats, Linc. I think you just became a man today."
"What now?" Lincoln made a face.
"I'm saying I'm proud of you, bro. You encountered the most vicious, bloodthirsty thing this side of Detroit and you not only lived but you showed him who's boss."
Lincoln looked down. "Lynn, that's not how it….this is not something to be proud of."
"Oh, on the contrary." Ryan spoke up, rubbing his cheek. "I can't believe I'm saying this…"
"Can't believe what?"
"I share Lynn's sentiment, pipsqueak." Ryan put his arm on his shoulder, for once giving Lincoln a genuine smile. "Color me impressed. You can't be a total wimp if you can handle freaking One Eye on your own. Maybe there is a real man there behind your scrawny butt and effeminate demeanor."
"Eh….thanks?"
"Savor that, bro." Lynn chuckled. "That's high praise coming from this guy."
"I know what he's saying, but I don't feel very proud of myself."
"Oh, there it is." Ryan rolled his eyes. "Lincoln must put a damper on everything, even his own rite of passage."
"Rite of passage?" Lincoln looked at him incredulously. "You're treating this like it's some kind of game?"
"Oh, no." Ryan shook his head. "I do mean rite of passage, as in, an honest to god one, involving real peril and stakes, not some pansy game."
"Does this mean I will fight him too, one day?" Lucy asked. "I still wish to meet him."
"No, Lucy. No, no, no." Lincoln turned to her. "You are not going to meet him under any circumstance."
"Um, yeah, don't kid yourself, Pasty." Lynn snorted. "Casting spells on him or holding a silver spoon won't stop One Eye. You would be eaten alive in a jiffy."
"Not if I arm myself with wolfbane." Lucy insisted.
"Guys, this is serious. We…we gotta tell someone about this."
"Say what to who?" Ryan looked at him like he was crazy.
"The authorities, someone, anyone who can deal with this." Lincoln explained. "I was there, I saw his lair."
"His lair? And where was that?" Lynn asked.
Lincoln looked around and sure enough, he spotted a large hill in the distance, covered in forest on one side except for the top, while the other side was a rocky cliff. That had to be it! It was the only one like it around Royal Woods.
"There!" he sat up and pointed at it. "Bearpaw Hill! It's the only hill big enough to oversee the entire town and I saw the whole town and more from up there."
"Shit, losing one eye sure didn't harm his eye for topnotch real estate." Ryan quipped, only to be elbowed by Lynn.
"He lives up there in a big cave. And that cave…." Lincoln tried to stay calm as he recollected the haunting imagery he witnessed. He shuddered and sat back down. "It was filled with human bones, mostly children I think."
Lynn looked uneasy hearing that part again, but Ryan and Lucy just listened to him, the latter with strong intrigue.
"Wicked." Lucy said. "There were lots of dead children there? How many did you count?"
Lincoln gave her an annoyed glare. "Eh…I mean? How horrible."
Lincoln sighed. "He's a man-eater, there is no doubt about that. And he's been doing this for some time."
"Well, duh." Ryan shrugged, not at all surprised. "Why do you think he was chasing us?"
"Do you think he is behind the disappearance of that girl in the newspaper?" Lucy wondered. "Do you think that intact skeleton you saw was her?"
"Wouldn't surprise me." Ryan shrugged again. "I did say she was probably eaten by wild animals."
Lynn shuddered. "Guys, maybe he's right about this?"
"Of course I'm right." Lincoln lamented. "We can't just let this go on. It's our moral obligation-"
"Eh, sorry, we can't do that." Ryan cut in. "We're not in a position to snitch on the Big Bad Wolf."
"What do you mean we can't?" Lincoln scowled at him. "Are you going to say "Oh, this ain't our problem"? Because-"
"Oh, no." Ryan's brow fell. "One Eye's defiantly our problem, but here's the thing? You can go around telling the authorities all you want, but here's what they are going to ask you…"
Ryan lowered his voice "So how do you know about this man-eating wolf none of us ever heard about, son?"
He went back to his regular voice. "Oh, my baby sister is a super-genius and she teleported me to his cave which was filled with incriminating evidence. Yeah, that's a totally believable story, I'm totally not crazy or making shit up."
Lynn and Lincoln exchanged glances, the latter looking despondent as the realization hit him about how ridiculous his tale was. Did he mention how much he hated it when Ryan made sense?
But Ryan wasn't done. "And forget about giving your mom and dad heart attacks, how are we going to explain knowing One Eye?"
"Oh, me and my friends snuck away from home in the dead of night, broke into a five-star hospital, assaulted a pageant judge and stole from him, and then we bumped into One Eye on our way back. He tried to kill us so we snuck into a farm and let all the animals to run loose and wreck the place."
"Yes, I don't think it is possible for you to say anything without putting yourself into a lot of trouble." Lucy agreed. "On top of giving mom and dad heart attacks."
Looking defeated, Lincoln looked down and covered his face with his hands.
"Damn it. Just damn it…" Lynn grumbled under her breath. "Why didn't we just come clean the first time he attacked us….before things….before things got so complicated?"
"Probably because you couldn't have known that he would be your Moby Dick and you wished not to worry mom and dad." Lucy explained.
"Don't try to help." Lynn said curtly. "Because it's really not helping."
"Shhhh….look who's coming." Ryan told her. Sure enough, the four were approached by Lisa, who had her left arm in a cast and sling. Charles sniffed her and became startled upon picking up the scent of his hated enemy all over her.
The genius looked anything but comfortable as she was greeted by frosty glares from Lynn and Ryan, an unreadable expression from Lucy and a sullen look from Lincoln, but with the latter, it quickly shifted into wide-eyed surprise as he saw the sling.
"Well, well….if it ain't the walking disaster area herself?" Ryan snarked. "Could you please hold off dragging us into another perilous situation with your stupid inventions for a least a few days? The constant fear of death isn't doing my health any favors."
"Ryan, back off!" Lincoln told him sternly before turning to his youngest sister. "Lisa, what happened to your arm?"
"Oh, nothing…" Lisa shrugged feebly. "One Eye just stepped on it and fractured my ulna. But worry not, I snuck into an operating room and popped it back into place. It was excruciatingly painful, but I managed to refrain from screaming."
Lynn felt a small amount of pity for the toddler, so she didn't say any of the harsh things she planned to say to her, but she didn't exactly feel sorry for Lisa either. "Can I ask why you felt the need to bring one of your stupid inventions with you? You almost got a little kid eaten alive! Not to mention Lincoln!"
"Yes, and less than 24 hours after the last time one of your creations nearly got all of us killed." Lucy added, more calmly but no less harshly. "I didn't expect you to screw up again this quickly."
"I….I…" Lisa fumbled with her words, glancing down in shame. "I brought my teleportation remote with the intent of avoiding another Lyle situation."
"Another "Lyle situation"?" Lynn made a face. "Did you forget that the last "Lyle situation" happened all because of your asinine science?"
Lincoln sighed. "Lynn, don't be so harsh on her. I….I understand why she did it."
Lynn and Lisa were both surprised to hear him say that. "You what?" the jock asked.
Ryan remembered something Lincoln told him earlier this day. "Wait a sec? Was this the "backup plan" you told me about? You knew about this?"
"You knew about that remote?" Lynn blurted.
"I didn't ask her to bring it along." Lincoln clarified. "But once she showed it to me at the hospital, I…she asked me to keep it safe and I agreed. I thought it would come in handy should the worst happen."
"Sounds like someone is turning into a paranoiac." Ryan deadpanned.
"Oh, shut up. Like you're one to lecture me about paranoia, Mr. "I think Leni is secretly an evil mastermind"." Lincoln retorted.
"Should the worst happen?" Lynn asked. "Just what the hell were you expecting to happen? For Lyle to regain his powers and come after us?"
"Yes." Lincoln said bluntly. "Given our luck, that might as well happen. In case you haven't noticed, a lot of crazy stuff happened this week."
Ryan deflated. "I guess you got a point there…"
"Yes, because of Lisa." Lucy argued. "First the flue zombies, and then the incident with Lyle."
"You remember the flue zombies?" Lisa asked her.
"I take Lincoln's word for it." Lucy replied.
"Lincoln, are you defending that little menace?" Lynn asked her brother in an accusatory tone.
Lincoln looked aside. Should he have defended her? Or was he just going crazy now?
"Lynn, I'm just trying to be fair. We can't entirely blame her for this. I was the one who lost the remote and Lola was the one who incited the riot where I lost it."
"Lola?" Ryan narrowed his eyes, finally remembering her by name. "You're saying that little shit stain was involved in this?"
Lincoln immediately regretted sharing that intel, but he couldn't let Lisa suffer the brunt of the blame.
"Yes…" he sighed in defeat. "I think she wanted some payback, so she got the kids all riled up against me and Lisa. They overwhelmed us, one kid pantsed me and that's how I lost the remote. Then Darcy found it and activated it."
"Lola…" Lynn seethed. "I swear….that little idiot will be the death of us."
"I can agree on that." Lucy replied.
"You want to redeem yourself, egghead." Ryan suddenly asked Lisa. "Then how about you open another portal to One Eye's cave so we can push Lola in it, and let him bite her head off?"
Lisa blinked. Was he joking or was he being serious?
"Because Lana's suggestion of chucking her out of a moving bus sounds too good for that little hellspawn."
"That's a lovely sentiment, but I don't think that mutt could bring himself to eat her." Lynn shook her head. "He would sooner kick her out of his cave because he couldn't take her shrill voice."
"And her flesh is likely too spoiled for his taste." Lucy added.
"Ryan, you're not funny." Lincoln told him exasperatedly.
"I wasn't trying to be funny." The other boy scoffed.
"I don't think I can participate in murdering my own sibling." Lisa replied.
"Oh, now you have an issue with that." Ryan spat.
"I wasn't trying to get them killed!" Lisa freaked out, earning a few glances from the onlookers.
"Guys, keep your voices down." Lincoln told them. "And you three…" he looked at Ryan, Lynn and Lucy "….you're not helping. Can we please just calm down and-"
"What, sweep it all under the rug again?" an irate Lynn asked before pointing at Lisa. "Act like that brat isn't a walking time bomb that will get all of us killed? I thought you wanted us to have a better home life? We can't have a better home life if none of us are alive."
Lincoln didn't know what to say to that. He didn't want to play the apologist, but it didn't feel right to him to attack Lisa over this.
Lisa glanced at him. She didn't know why he was standing up for her anymore and she didn't want him to be yelled at because of her. Maybe…maybe the others would calm down if she gave them a genuine reassurance that the science-related disasters would soon stop for good.
"Guys? May…may I say something?" she asked weakly.
"What now?" Ryan rolled his eyes. "Are you gonna tell us how "sowy" you are? Because lemme tell you something. Saying "sorry" won't cut it."
"Actually…that's not what I was meaning to say. I wanted to tell you that…I'm in the process of devising a permanent-"
"C'mon, guys. It's time to go." They heard Jenny calling for them.
Ryan rolled his eyes. "Let's go. Time to play servants to some old coots."
Him and Lynn left first, while Lisa glanced at her brother before sighing. She decided it was probably better to keep her mouth shut, and so she left without another word.
Now alone with him, Lucy looked at her brother. "Lincoln, maybe we can figure out a way to oust One Eye after…you know?"
He sighed, his experience from today still weighing heavily on him. "After we deal with the "incident"?"
"Yes, it should be over in…." Lucy stopped to count the days in her head "….in two or three days, if I'm not mistaken?"
"Oh…" Lincoln remembered. The dreaded day was on the horizon. Very soon, they would learn if their actions made a difference. And more importantly, they would have to evacuate their siblings from their home on that day.
"You're right, Lucy. We have to finish what we started. At least here we can make a difference."
I dunno why I am even doing this crap, what did Lana ever do for me?" Luan grumbled while kneeling next to a pond, holding a rope attached to a stick holding up a small box. So far, no frog had taken the bait.
She didn't know why she even bothered, except that she needed something to get her mind off her siblings and the one who shall not be named.
Eventually, one of the amphibians took the bait and Luan pulled the rope, trapping it underneath it.
"Hurray." She droned unenthusiastically as she walked over to the box, and managed to close it shut before it could escape. She hoped she remembered to poke some breathing holes?
As she headed back home something tripped her and she crashed to the ground, dropping the box, which released the frog and it made a mad dash to freedom.
Spitting out some grass and dirt, Luan rolled herself onto her back when the pad of a crutch was pressed against her throat, pinning her down.
Clutching the handle, Luan looked up while trying not to choke and her eyes widened in shock.
"You…." she chocked.
Her right leg was in a cast, as was her neck and her chest was wrapped in bandages, but that was nothing compared to the pure, unbridled fury in her eyes that burned a hole through the terrified Luan.
Renee hissed, "Where are they!"
"What are you doing here?" Luan gasped. "You're supposed to….aghg!" she chocked as the pad was pressed further onto her throat, driving her neck further into the dirt. The pressure only kept intensifying.
"Where are they!"
"Kathleen…" Luan choked out, her voice high and raspy. "Kathleen took them to…." She couldn't finish as she was running out of air and her face was turning blue.
"Her volunteer group?" Renee deduced and let out a furious growl before finally lifting her crutch off Luan's throat.
She sat up and coughed while rubbing her neck. "Why are you here-ah!" Renee's hand grabbed her by the collar and hoisted her up. Before Renee could say anything, however, they heard ambulance sirens and this made Renee visibly nervous.
"Dammit…." She grumbled and started moving.
"You're coming with me!" Renee dragged her along as she limped away from there in a hurry. Luan was pretty sure she had just been taken hostage.
"But I don't know where they went?" Luan cried as she was dragged behind the Louds' house. She was lying, she had some idea where they might be, but she was trying to save them from Renee's wrath. It was a terrible mistake.
After making sure nobody was following them, Renee turned to her with a sinister glare.
"You don't know, do you?" she said coldly. Luan just shook her head.
Ten minutes later….
"Mmmmphmm!" Luan struggled against the ropes tied around her legs and torso, with a bandana tied over her mouth.
She was standing in a small closet, with Renee on the other side, holding the door.
"I would have just thrown you in the bunker, but then your idiot sisters wouldn't learn their lesson properly if they shared their humiliating punishment with someone." Renee said casually before slamming the door shut and locking it.
"You won't get away from me that easily, you miscreants." Renee cursed at her brother and clients before limping away to track them down.
Damn, this went into some dark places, if only briefly, but it kind of went without saying that One Eye was no newb at hunting children. Also…..did it seem like he was….toying with Lincoln and Lisa for a little bit? Pretending to be asleep and giving them false hope of escaping before swiftly killing that hope, and them? Well, given that the pets, especially Marceline, have displayed some fleeting anthropomorphic behavior, like her laughing at Cliff's misery, I wouldn't rule it out XD
On the upside, Lincoln confronted his worst fear. It's amazing how easy it is to get over that when your baby sister is in danger. But Lincoln being Lincoln won't take any credit for his own bravery, especially since he and his entourage now have knowledge that could determine whether other people live or die. Unfortunately, they cornered themselves in a position where telling anyone about a man-eating beast roaming the fringes of their town would put them in a lot of trouble. Guess that issue will have to be put aside for a while.
And Lisa certainly made a new friend and gave her the time of her life (if unintentionally) after weeks of fear mixed with mind-numbing boredom. On the downside, she's really giving Lola some stiff competition for the title of most hated family member in the Loud family. The poor thing, this story is really putting her through the wringer. Maybe she should put on a squirrel suit to counter the bad luck she has obviously been cursed with?
