"And that's the last one." Lynn huffed tiredly and yawned as she loaded her cart with various sports equipment. She had tried to squeeze in as much as she could, but she would probably need to make at least three more trips to the basement. She did own a lot of sports equipment.
The siblings hadn't had much time to discuss which pairs would take which room so they chose on the fly. Lisa was alone in hers anyway, so Lincoln suggested taking all of Lola's belongings and cart them to Lisa's room, and the genius was helping him along. Nobody argued, least of all Lana.
But with Luna still hogging hers and Luan's room, and currently being in a foul mood, Lynn agreed to move into the twins' room while Luan would move into hers. Not many words were exchanged as neither the jock or the comedian wished to look at each other, and the former, as well as the resident goth, shared the same sentiment.
"How are you doing, Lana?" Lynn looked over at the other cart and found it stuffed with her clothes, rolled-up posters and other idle belongings. She didn't have that many belongings, besides all the sports equipment, since there was only so much space in a small bedroom for two, so Lana had an easier time stuffing most of her cargo into one cart.
"Fine…" the little girl grumbled as she stuffed Lynn's trophies into the mountain of clothes. Now they were sticking out of it like candles on a birthday cake.
"Don't overpack it." Lynn tried to joke. "We can make multiple trips. Not like we have much else to do."
She certainly hoped so, as she was trying to fight off fatigue. Lynn hadn't slept all night, but once she got herself stimulated, even it was with a menial task, she could keep herself going. For how long she wouldn't know, but the jock hadn't thought that far. In spite of everything, this was a joyous occasion for Lynn, as she was finally parting ways with Lucy and settling with a more appropriate roommate! One that had no affinity for poetry, emo crap and most of all, blood-sucking winged rats!
"Don't say that." Lana muttered under her breath, her face scrunched up and her eyes planted on the floor.
Lynn exhaled. "I know you're mad…"
"Gee, what gave you that idea?" her sister retorted bitterly.
"Lana, I'm not happy about this either, but try to understand?"
Lana looked at her incredulously. "Understand what? I've been good, haven't I?" she pointed at herself. "I've listened to you, I behaved, I didn't talk with Kathleen and it was Renee who bullied us and treated us like garbage! And we're the ones getting punished for it?!"
"Well, to be fair, she didn't get out of this unscathed. She took a serious beating, both physically and emotionally. And she earned squat." Lynn tried to explain, but it didn't nothing to calm the tomboy.
"So what! She still got away, while we got punished! How is that fair, Lynn! How is it fair to punish someone who did nothing wrong!" slowly, hot tears formed in Lana's eyes.
"No. It's not fair, not in any way." Lynn admitted sullenly.
"Then why didn't you say anything!" Lana stomped her foot, her anger rising again.
"Lana, calm down. What was I supposed to say? What was Lincoln supposed to say? You think mom and dad would have believed us any more than the rest of ya?"
"Yes…I mean no…I mean…" a flustered Lana stammered, too emotionally strung to give a counterargument.
"Lana, do you remember the talk we had? Try…just try to look at this from mom and dad's point of view?" Lynn said softly. She kneeled down to be on eye level with her sister and placed her hands on Lana's shoulders.
"I know we did nothing wrong, but they don't know. And remember, we've been driving them up a tree for years, acting as spoiled brats and causing mayhem intentionally. Why would they think anything was different now? It wasn't the first time we drove a babysitter nuts either. Dad already mentioned that Hugh guy?"
"But we didn't do anything this time, it was all Renee's fault! She abused us!" Lana cried flippantly. "She was the bad guy, she was doing the bad stuff, not us! We even did charity work for Pete's sake! And all for her! It's not fair!"
"Yes, it's not fair, but life sometimes isn't fair and you can do nothing but roll with it?" a crestfallen Lynn replied. "Look at me? I tried to save Lisa and I got female pattern boldness for my heroic deed."
A tear dropped down Lana's cheek as she cooled down a bit.
"And as I said, when you've been treating people poorly, they tend not to have faith in you. How about Lola? After all the crappy things she did to you, would you believe her if she claimed that she was innocent? Same reason Luan doesn't trust Kathleen."
Lana's eyes narrowed and she looked away. It wasn't easy getting a 5-year-old not to look at things through a myopic lens, and Lynn could only hope that her reasoning would get through to her eventually. But Lana was right, they were unfairly punished and it blew chunks. Lynn wanted to be angry, but she knew this was not the time for it, not when they were more important things at stake than her idle privileges.
She realized that a lecture about the harshness and unfair nature of life would do little to lift her little sister's spirit, so she tried to find a positive spin.
"Lana, try looking at the bright side. At least we weren't grounded. Imagine having to spend a week of summer locked in your home?" the jock grew a small smile. "There are still lots of ways to have fun outside. You like the outdoors, don't ya?"
"But my friends!" Lana lamented. Sighing, Lynn sat down and pulled her sister into her lap, letting her rest her head against her shoulder.
"They're still here, mom and dad promised to take care of them. I know, this sucks….royally, but it's not like they are taking them away. You'll see them again in no time."
"But I want to see them now!" Lana sniffed. "A week is so long!"
"We'll find ways to pass the time, I promise you." Lynn gently caressed her face, before adopting a more confident tone. "Try to look on the bright side, today wasn't a total bust? Remember, we are officially roommates now. I won't have to deal with the Duchess of Darkness again, and you're finally free of that little monster that we unfortunately have to call our sister."
Being reminded of that, Lana couldn't help but grow a smile. "Yeah? No more Lola?"
"Tell you what, once I get settled in your room, the first change we're going to do is find some red paint and write on the door, in big letters…." Lynn waved her hands for emphasis "… "No Prissy, Pink Princesses Allowed!", what do you say to that?"
Lana couldn't help but giggle. She really liked the thought of that. "We should do that."
"Besides, didn't you say something about trying out for those Blueball scouts in a few weeks?"
"Bluebell scouts." Lana corrected her, a bit annoyed. "And yeah…"
"Right, right, Bluebells. I'm sure you'll make the cut, and if you go camping, then won't you have to leave your pets behind either way? You know they don't allow those at camp."
"Oh?" Lana's face fell. "I haven't thought of that?"
"Don't sweat it. I'll take care of them, I promise." Lynn assured her and patted her back. "You just give me instructions and I'll follow them to a T. Scout's honor."
Lana smiled again and hugged her. "Thanks, Lynn."
For the first time since losing half her hair, Lynn felt warm and happy inside. Speaking of the Bluebells, she recalled her conversation with Ryan from last day, about sending all her sisters away for the summer. Now that she thought about it, it would be better if they sent Lola away somewhere else. Why make her go to camp and ruin Lana's fun with all her inevitable whining, griping and complaining? There was probably some other program for children she would be much happier in, and a happy Lola was a more manageable Lola.
Hearing a canine's whining, the sisters noticed Charles walking up to them. "Hey, Charles?" Lynn greeted him. "Look, Lana? Not all your pets will be confiscated?"
"Charles?" Lana reached out to pet him, but the bull terrier sniffed her cart and got up to inspect its content. This caused it to shake and one of Lynn's trophies fell.
"No!" Lana jumped to grab it but it fell between her hands and shattered. "No! she kneeled in front of it and her lips trembled.
"Lynn, I'm sorry…" she said meekly.
But surprisingly, Lynn didn't feel upset. This wasn't Lana's fault to begin with, but more importantly, at the moment, she couldn't muster up any attachment to that trophy. Its destruction felt oddly arbitrary to the jock, like if she saw a random dinner plate being dropped.
"Meh…no biggie." She shrugged and stood up. Lana was surprised to hear that. She got up too and looked at her incredulously.
"You're not upset?"
"Not really…" Lynn shrugged, looking at the shattered trophy. "Can't even recall how I won that one, but who cares? I'll win another one in no time to take its place."
Lana's jaw hung open. "Okay, who are you and what have you done with Lynn!" she pointed at the jock.
Lynn chuckled at that cliché line. "Relax, it's still me. And I know, I'm surprised too that I'm not more upset, but I guess I sorta realized that there are more important things in life than dumb trophies that just stand on a shelf and collect dust."
She patted her sister's head and ruffled her hair. "Like looking out for my little sister when she needs me."
"Cut if out…" Lana stepped back, semi-annoyed.
"Woof!" Lynn glanced aside and saw Charles walking up to her, holding part of the broken trophy in his mouth.
"Sure, you can use it as a chew toy. I have no use for it." The jock smiled and petted his head, before turning to her sister.
"Alright, enough with this sentimental crap. Let's get this stuff to my new room!"
Pushing their respective carts, the two most unfeminine of the Loud sisters wheeled Lynn's stuff into the hall. But they immediately bumped into another pair of new roommates.
The two sent Lynn frosty glares, and she gladly returned the gesture, while Lana blinked in confusion.
"Lynn." Luan sneered.
"Luan." Lynn folded her arms.
"Lynn."
"Lucy." The jock glanced down at the goth.
"Would you mind moving out of the way, we're moving to my new room?" Luan huffed.
"So are we, and you're in our way." Lynn retorted. "We've already been punished unfairly, the last thing I need is to stare at your stupid mug."
"Then move it. Do something more productive than taking up space." Luan huffed. "Though I guess by your standard, that is productive."
"Oh, pipe down and go be unfunny someplace else!" Lana waved her hand dismissively, making Luan glower at her.
"Uhhh! Sick burn!" Lynn high-fived her new roommate. Luan seethed.
"Luan, let's just go and leave these two uncouth louts to their infantile frivolities." Lucy folded her arms.
"What did you call me?" Lana glared at her, though she didn't understand half the things Lucy said.
"Uhhh! That's telling them, Luce!" Luan slapped the goth's back in approval. "Said like a true poet!"
"Poets are dumb!" Lana retorted.
Lucy was irked but kept her composer. "Don't take it the wrong way, Lana. I do appreciate you taking Lynn off my back. I can't, for the life of me, fathom why you would want her as a roommate, but that's your choice."
Lynn scowled in annoyance but so did Lana. "What's wrong with her? Why would you want to be roommates with an annoying, unfunny blabbermouth like Luan!"
Luan gasped but Lynn snickered. "That's right, any audience of hers is as lively as a graveyard, but this is taking it to a whole new level." She pointed at Lucy, causing Lana to snicker.
"At least Luan has the capacity to hold a civil and intelligent conversation." Lucy retorted smartly. "And she remembers to bathe more than once a month." Lynn trembled with annoyance.
"So what! Nobody likes stinking baths!" Lana retorted. "At least Lynn's cool!"
Lucy snorted, the gesture actually unnerved Lana a bit. It was weird seeing the stoic goth do that.
"You used the words "Lynn" and "cool" in the same sentence without a negation." She said coolly.
"Wut?" Lana made a face.
"Ha! Grammar humor!" Luan shot back at the jock. "Not like you and your little protégé can grasp that!"
The two tomboys growled, their tempers rising.
"Girls! No fighting!" Lynn Sr. appeared from the bathroom. "Just get back to your tasks!"
The two pairs glared at each other and parted ways. But Luan looked over her shoulder and smiled triumphantly as she entered Lynn's old room.
"Ha! We totally won this roasting contest, Freckle Face!"
"Keep dreaming, Tin Teeth!" Lynn shot back as she carefully took her cart down the stairs while Lana took hers into her room.
Their father just massaged the bridge of his nose and sighed tiredly. He didn't know why his namesake and Luan were so hostile with each other, or at least more hostile than usual (since Luan had that effect on her sisters). What they said to each other sounded very personal for some reason?
"Hey, Lynn? You got a second?" he heard Albert's voice and saw the old man approaching him.
"Albert? Are you feeling better?"
"Sure…" Albert tried to brush it off. "A little dislocated shoulder was no big problem. I popped it back into its socket easy."
Lynn shuddered at the mental image. "Well…that's good to know. I'm…I'm sorry about Lori? She-"
"No harm done. Now, do you have a second?"
"No…I mean sure, I got a second." He sighed. "I'm pretty my kids aren't in the mood to talk with me."
"I can imagine. No one likes to be punished." Albert concurred. "But a little tough love is sometimes needed to whip those little whippersnappers into shape. I don't blame you for feeling the need to be strict."
Lynn hadn't expected to hear that from him. "Well…actually, that was mostly Rita. Not that I blame her or anything, it's I…eh…I thought…"
Albert rolled his eyes as his son-in-law grew tongue-tied. He could tell that Lynn, as usual, felt tremendous guilt for having to punish his kids, and to an extent, he sympathized. He knew Lincoln and LJ certainly haven't been causing trouble this week and he knew that, at least to an extent, the crazy claims the girls made had some merit, but he was not in a position to defend them and maybe, at least for the moment, keeping them in line through harsh restrictions was for the better.
"Lynn, just stop." He cut him off. "I know exactly what you're trying to say and I know it's not easy putting your foot down, but maybe Rita's harsh punishment was for the better, at least right now."
"You….think so?" Lynn asked, all the more surprised. Granted, it had been a long time since Albert had been involved in any family drama but it was still surprising to see the normally jolly old man agree with such actions.
"I know so, Lynn. Kids can easily get out of control if you don't establish some boundaries." Albert nodded. "I may be old and my memories ain't the best, but I remember what's like being a parent. It might be hard for you to imagine, but a lot of the girls aren't too different from their mother when she was young."
"Well, if you say so…" Lynn mumbled. He wasn't sure what Albert was getting at, but he knew that his father-in-law barely knew the surface of their problems. Except it wasn't the case, Albert knew exactly what the real problem was.
"I got a lot more to say, Lynn. Actually, the one big reason I came here was because I wanted to talk with you."
"Me?"
"Yes, you. It's been a while since we had a talk, man to man." Albert explained. Lynn noted that he sounded a lot more serious compared to his usual light-hearted demeanor. What could he possibly want to talk about with him? Lynn started getting some ideas, given how an upset Rita went to visit him not too long ago, and they unnerved him.
"Oh, well…if you want to talk with me, then we'll talk? It…ehh…would be very rude of me to refuse, wouldn't it?" he let out a nervous chuckle.
"Good, do you know any place where we could do this in private?" Albert finally smiled a bit. He just hoped the kids wouldn't cause any fuss in the meantime.
"I wasn't expecting this to turn out boring." Ryan mused while observing one of the most pathetic sights imaginable. His cold, calculating, hardass of a big sister was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling and wallowing in self-pity. She somehow made mopey Lincoln feel like better company?
Then again, it was probably a positive sign that he saw no blade or bottle of pills anywhere in Renee's room. Under normal circumstances, she wouldn't have tolerated him entering into her territory and staying there for this long, but Renee no longer gave a crap about anything.
"Just how long are you gonna keep this up?" he asked sneeringly.
"Meh…"
Ryan was really starting to hate that noise. He made a mental note to never use it as an indicator of apathy again.
"You do realize that given all the shit that went down these last two days, you ended up looking remarkably good with your first babysitting job in this town? If I were you, I'd be counting my lucky stars! The amount of luck and contrived coincidence you've been bestowed with for these last 48 hours was nothing short of miraculous." Ryan retorted, actually trying, for all intent and purpose, to cheer her up.
"You're acting as if you-know-what didn't happen." His sister groaned blandly.
"Always the perfectionist, ain't ya?" Ryan snorted. "So what if you lost that brat? Not like anyone in her family cares about her? I'm pretty sure even Mr. and Mrs. L just keep her around out of obligation."
"Meh…."
Ryan seethed, that noise was really grinding his gears. "Oh, get over yourself already!" he threw his arms up. "If it makes you feel any better, you were not, and I repeat, you were NOT outwitted by some airheaded bimbo, alright?"
"What are you talking about…" she muttered lamely.
"I'm saying Kathy is no Paris Hilton. She's not a ditz, she's a devious and calculating diabolical mastermind with a knack for manipulating people and twisting any situation in her favor." He sat down next to her.
"And how exactly do you know that? We literally just moved here two weeks ago…" Renee muttered.
Oh, shit? How should he explain this to her? "So? I'm a very good judge of character, I know you are too." Ryan insisted. "You yourself deduced that she was trying to drag us into her charity project as a PR stunt, didn't you?"
"Meh…" was her response, making her brother fume once more.
"Why, I'm pretty sure it was no accident that she brought in Pinky when she did. I doubt it was an act of callousness that she brought her out of hiding just as we left that nursing home, considering she was the only person who still cared for that brat. She couldn't have the two of you cause a riot in there, but once we were out and her little charity project was no longer in jeopardy, she wanted you to throttle her, so she could play hero and take claim of the brat."
"Your deductive reasoning is impeccable, Ryan. Just one small flaw." Renee responded, her flat tone adopting a little bit of that familiar disdain. "Why would someone as rich as her want to take possession of the Loud brat?"
"The hell if I know?" Ryan shrugged. "Probably cuz she's an only child and she's taken a shine to the brat, the two are so much alike. Egomaniacs like her probably love the idea of having a fun-sized version of themselves running around and inflating their ego some more."
"Uh-huh…." From Renee's tone, Ryan could tell he was losing her.
"Look, point being…" he poked her in the nose with his index finger "….there is no shame it being outwitted by an evil mastermind like Kathleen. If that had been Lyle, sure. I'd be questioning my own intelligence too, cuz Lyle's as dumb as shit, but not Kathleen."
"I don't recall you ever getting mopey all those times I played ya?" Ryan smirked.
"And when did that happen?"
And so his smirk dropped. "Oh, you're a riot. You have no problem sweeping all of that under the rug, but you can't do the same the one time someone else played you for a sap?"
"Meh…"
Ryan grinded his teeth and got up, throwing his arms up in defeat. "I give up! I guess we'll have to find a good psychiatrist to fix you up?" he rubbed his chin in contemplation as he walked up to the window. "Or maybe some Prozac?"
"Meow." He looked back and saw Marceline hunkered down at the door, flickering her tail.
"You're right, Marcy." Ryan grinned. "Physiatrists are just hucksters who talk fancy and then charge you ridiculous prices, that's why I never went to those quacks. Prozac oughta do the job!"
Not like he understood a word the feline uttered, but it was fun to play along. He rubbed his chin once more. "I'm sure mom and dad have plenty of that stored in their drawers, the stress of their hectic jobs always gets to them." He said as he looked back at the window, but then caught sight of something in the corner of his eye.
Taking a better look, he saw someone walk by the tree at the other side of the road. He wouldn't have cared much about that, if it weren't for the person's hasty pace and unique choice of headwear.
Ryan smirked again. "Bitch, you didn't?"
"Pee yew!" Luan's nose twitched as she threw Lynn's bedsheets to the floor so she could replace them with clean, new ones. "This place smells like the boy's locker room at school! Actually, no." she laughed condescendingly. "That'd be an insult to boy's locker rooms!"
Lucy snickered as she placed a chair next to a wall but then had a question. "How do you know what a boy's locker room smells like? Do middle schools not have the same rigid rules about keeping boys and girls segregated during gym class?"
Luan blushed and looked aside. "I…yes, yes. I just heard about how bad they smell from…word of mouth."
"Say, Lucy?" she thought of a joke to change the topic. "How many Lynns does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"I dunno, how many?" the goth asked, genuinely curious.
"Doesn't matter!" Luan replied. "They'll smash it with a soccer ball two seconds later!"
The sisters shared a laugh. "I think jokes are the funniest when they admit a simple truth." Lucy said before standing on the chair.
"What are you doing?"
"Just getting rid of this poster." The goth said as she tried to tear down a poster of some quarterback Lynn admired for this month. The chair shook as she balanced herself.
"Wow, Luce. Be careful." A concerned Luan walked up to her and grabbed the chair.
"Lemme do it." the comedian insisted as she grabbed the edge of the poster.
"I can do it! I'm not a baby!" she stepped back in shock as Lucy abruptly yelled.
Luan looked at her, speechless, as Lucy breathed heavily before calming herself and glancing aside bashfully.
"Sorry. I shouldn't have yelled." She said in a small voice.
"Lucy, are you alright?"
"I'm fine." The goth insisted.
"You don't sound "fine" to me. And why did you say "I'm not a baby"? That was awfully specific."
Lucy's pale cheeks flushed and she said nothing.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Luan offered, but her little sister remained silent.
"It' okay, Luce. Whatever it is, I won't laugh." Luan assured her. "Who do you think I am? Lynn?"
"I…I don't know how to articulate it." The goth said hoarsely, still looking away.
Luan wasn't quite sure what "articulate" meant, but she guessed Lucy was having trouble expressing herself. She knew very well that when you were hurt or embarrassed, it was often hard to tell others how you felt.
"I'm sure you'll find a way to do it, now come on." Luan gently led her to Lynn's old bed and they sat there together.
"Let this be the first of many private discussions between roommates. Whatever is troubling you, I'm all ears." The comedian told Lucy with a level of calmness and maturity she hadn't gleaned from her teen sister before. After saying that, Luan became quiet and just watched her, giving her time to speak.
Lucy shuffled. The real issue wasn't so much that she couldn't articulate her feelings, as much as having trouble explaining why she felt the way she felt without revealing any compromising information. But she really wanted to tell someone about it, it was frustrating to keep it all pent-up inside.
"Luan? Do you ever feel like people don't take you seriously?" she finally spoke, but immediately regretted it. That was a stupid question to ask Luan, for she knew the feeling all too well.
The teen had an impassive expression, but after sighing, she said despondently, "You need to ask? Story of my life."
"That's…that's not quite what I meant." Lucy added.
"Oh, then what did you mean with people not taking you seriously?"
"I don't mean people judging you because your interests don't confine within the boundaries of their arbitrary social norms, but I mean…." Lucy rubbed her arms "….do you know what it's like being looked down upon because you're younger?"
Luan was surprised to hear that, but she had no trouble imagining the issue Lucy suggested.
She let out a humorless laugh. "Of course I do. You don't know how many times Lori, Leni and Luna excluded me from something with the "You're not old enough" excuse. I don't really think any of them cared about that to begin with…" her face darkened "…they were just looking for any excuse to get rid of me. But I guess "Piss off" wasn't classy enough for them…"
"Oh, I'm sorry…"
"Don't be…" Luan sighed "…I'm done trying to reach out to those jerks. If they don't want anything to do with me, that's their loss."
"I know the feeling. Lynn busts out that same excuse all the time…" Lucy replied hoarsely, frustration slowly creeping into her voice. "For the same reason. She's very transparent."
"Doesn't surprise me one bit." Luan smiled in agreement before raising an eyebrow. "But I don't get it? Since when did you care what Lynn thinks of ya? The only thing you two have in common is a love for bats, but it's not even the same kind of "bat"?" she joked.
"I don't. And we don't." Lucy said without hesitance. "But why do Lincoln…and Ryan…." Her voice trailed off.
Luan blinked. "What? Them? You're saying they treat you like a baby?"
Lucy just nodded.
Luan didn't quite know what to say. "What exactly happened that gave you that impression?"
It was a simple question, but it was one Lucy couldn't answer without revealing too much private intel.
"Nothing specifically….it's just…me and Lincoln had a talk, it happened just before….Lyle kidnapped us."
Luan shuddered after being reminded. "And…. what did he say to you?"
"We talked about our family not taking us seriously, he said he respected me and thought of me as smart, and I said the same to him. I was under the impression that he thought of me as his equal. And Ryan…"
"Sigh….do you think Ryan likes me?"
"What kind of a question is that?" Luan chuckled. "Of course he likes you. Didn't he spend a whole day doing things you wanted to do? Like visiting a bat cave, playing a prank on some kids that picked on you and he even watched your favorite show with you, all while snubbing Lynn? Trust me, Luce. I know the guy, if he doesn't like someone, he'll let them know."
"I guess…" Lucy sighed. She didn't really doubt that Ryan liked her as much as she doubted that he didn't see her as an equal "…but then why do both of them still treat me like a baby? They are never overly explicit with it, but they constantly sneak in a "You're too young for this" or "We don't want you to get hurt" that…"
"Lucy, I don't think that's them not respecting you, I think that just shows that they care for you."
"I don't consider caring and smothering to be the same thing." Lucy folded her arms crossly.
"Well…maybe, but I think it's the thought that counts. If they are that worried about you doing something you're not ready for, then they must really care."
Lucy said nothing. Her sister put a hand on her shoulder. "Look, Luce. You gotta understand, you are younger than them. Ryan was, what? The twins' age while you were still a fetus? I can kinda see why he would see you as-"
"What difference does that make?" Lucy countered. "Lynn is the same age as him, and yet she has all the maturity of a toddler."
"No argument there, but….look. I can see where they are coming from, because I wouldn't want to see you hurt either, and it would drive me crazy if I thought you were trying to do something you weren't ready for. You're my little sister, and that's just natural for people, to feel the need to look out for their younger sibling. Maybe they are underestimating you, but they are just doing it because-"
"So you agree with them? That I'm too little to be taken seriously?" Lucy frowned.
"No, I don't, Lucy. I know you're smart and self-reliant."
"They both said the same thing, and they still treat me like a baby."
"Lucy, if I may ask? Under which circumstances did they treat you like this? Ryan had no issue doing all those crazy activities with you or letting you join us on our prank calls? Just what happened?"
Lucy grew tongue-tied. Now she was cornered. She couldn't answer that without spilling the beans. "It's….it's something private.." she rasped, barely being audible.
Luan blinked for a few moments before giving in. "Fine, if you don't feel comfortable speaking about it in detail, I'll give you space. But as far as I can see…."
She sighed and took a moment to think things over. She defiantly could relate to not being taken seriously by her older siblings and being excluded for her age. She didn't want to repeat the same thing with Lucy. She certainly didn't think that Lucy was some naïve and hapless baby, but at the same time, she could understand the need to try and protect your little sister.
"At least if they are being overprotective, that shows how they truly care about you."
"You said that three times now." Lucy deadpanned.
"Listen to me! Do you think Lori, Leni or Luna ever took an interest in my life? Heck no! They never cared about what I was up to or if I was having any troubles. We went to the same school, and yet Luna never even once noticed Kathleen bullying me to no end. And trust me, some of her meanest pranks were so grand, literally everyone student knew about it."
Lucy fidgeted. Luan was right about that. She saw how both Ryan and Lincoln reacted to Lyle threatening them, even if Lincoln didn't have the means to do anything but take the beating so they could escape. Ryan giving Lyle a violent pummeling said enough, but Lincoln's willingness to endure physical torture in order for them to escape it said perhaps even more. He was perfectly willing to hurt himself just to save her.
"Maybe…" she grumbled. Part of her was starting to feel selfish for being angry at them over their protectiveness, but.."
"But is it wrong to wish to be treated as an equal?"
"No, no it's not." Luan answered. It was hard giving her little sister an answer there, since she thought both sides had a point. Being the "big sister" was not easy.
"But maybe….I dunno. Maybe you could try to show them that?"
Lucy looked at her strangely.
"I'm not suggesting that you go and do something crazy and dangerous. I'm just saying, that maybe instead of getting angry, you could try and show them through some means that you're emotionally ready to do the same things they do. After all, you already have a far greater tolerance for all kinds of scary stuff that would make grown adults scream and wet their pants."
"Like what? What should I do to show them-"
"I don't know, Luce. I'm afraid that's something you'll have to figure out. I'm not some fortune cookie and you're not making it easy by not telling me the whole story. I'm not trying to pressure you, it's just…"
"Sigh…I understand." Lucy replied. She was starting to feel bad about keeping Luan in the dark but she knew better than to casually state what was going on. Now that was something that was truly difficult to articulate. She felt Luan putting her arm around her and patting her other shoulder.
"Maybe you should just try and talk things out with them? I…I'm sure it's not as bad as you think?"
"I'll try." Lucy sighed. She knew she would have to make peace with them eventually. They were bigger things at stake.
Parvana entered the nearest convenience store and grabbed a bag of…..something, she glossed over the label, and paid for it at the counter. As she exited the place she looked both ways anxiously, seeing various people walking by or mingling at nearby cafes, but no sign of familiar faces.
She hastily made her way home, but she didn't get very far before hearing….
"What do we have here? A peeping Jane?" she dropped her jellybeans as she saw Ryan casually leaning against a wall and wearing visor shades.
"Why, Pamala?" he put his hand to his chest. "I'm flattered. I really am. But me and Lynn are already going steady. You missed your chance."
Now, instead of feeling scared, Parvana felt an odd mixture of fear and nauseousness as Ryan creepily approached her, flashing her a crooked grin, forcing her to step back.
"What's the matter?" he asked overly sweetly. "Cat got your tongue?"
"Meow." Parvana jolted and looked over her shoulder to see Marceline watching her. Much to Ryan's amusement, she stepped aside fearfully as the cat strolled past her.
This was better than Ryan had hoped for. As his cat joined his side and rubbed herself against his legs, he looked at the girl again. He noticed her bloodshot eyes and heavy eyebags. Evidently, him and his buds weren't the only ones who didn't get to enjoy a goodnight's rest.
"No reason to be alarmed. Marcy's harmless…" he told her before smirking darkly "…unless I tell her not to be. But you should still be careful, I forgot to feed her this morning."
"What do you want?" the skittish Parvana finally spoke, in that classic "I'm brave but I'm really not" tone of voice. Ryan rolled his eyes. And to think he thought that chick had a little spunk?
She put on a brave face and scowled. "I want to go home, if you don't mind."
"Really, then why were you skulking around my home then?" Ryan wiggled his eyebrows. "Unless you were expecting to get some."
Parvana grimaced in disgust. "You're a pig-"
"Don't be coy with me, sweetheart." Ryan decided to cut to the chase. "We both know what you were really doing. Spying on little ol' me." He pretended to be hurt. "Y'know, if our roles were reversed, I'd get my ass beat in no time for such behavior."
"I wasn't spying on you! I was just passing by!" Parvana raised her voice. "Now get out of my way!"
"Oh, but weren't you looking for an explanation for that strange little incident you witnessed yesterday?" Ryan baited her. The moment he noticed a glimmer of hope in her eyes, he squashed it like a bug. "Oh, silly child. You were seriously expecting to sniff out some answers?"
"What was that!" Parvana's tone changed to a demanding one. "I know what I saw, and you know it! Why were all of you-"
"Pretending like we saw nothing?" Ryan rubbed his chin in faux-contemplation, oozing with sarcasm. "Oh, I don't know? Could it be that I and my associates didn't want anyone to know about it? Just a thought?"
"So you were lying? Stop playing games with me! What was that! Who are you people!"
Ryan chuckled. "Oh, aren't you adorable? You expect me to just tell you that?" he said patronizingly. "Nuh-uh, it's not in our interest to share such delicate intel with you carbon-based troglodytes."
"Carbon-what?" Parvana made a face. What Ryan said made things even more confusing.
"Well, I can tell you this much?" Ryan shrugged. "I'm not the inventor of that nifty little device, but I am, for lack of a better term, an enforcer. And I don't like having to deal with pesky interlopers like you."
"Device, so they did…teleport in front of me?" Parvana deduced, getting caught up in her own thoughts. "But how did you make that thing? That's impossible!"
"Oh, aren't you just hungry for some juicy answers? It pains you being stuck in the dark, doesn't it?" Ryan taunted her. "Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave you with an empty stomach, my dear. There are some things that you primitive beings simply couldn't comprehend and you are better off not knowing."
Thinking now was the appropriate time for a dramatic reveal, he lowered his shades and Parvana paled in shock as she saw his sickly yellow sclera and small patches of scales glued around his eyes.
"And I hope that's the only actions I will have to take against you. Your meddling is preventing me from focusing on more important functions as it is, so I'll warn you only once." He said ominously while pointing at her, showing off more scales.
"Stay out of our way. We don't appreciate snoops and when we find any, we tend to….do away with them, quickly and discreetly."
Not saying a word, the girl stepped back, her hand unwittingly moving towards her mouth.
Oh, now she had her scared and Ryan savored every moment of it. His brilliant acting along with his Hallowed props were doing wonders. Parvana was scared speechless but Ryan had the courtesy to pick up the bag of jellybeans and put it back in her hands before patting them.
"Now, be a good little girl and get all those confusing thoughts out of your pretty little head, and there won't be any further issues. I'm glad we could talk things out like sentient beings." He clicked his tongue and shot her a finger gun before walking past her.
"Marceline….grlphp gnnph gahbh…" he spoke in gibberish while pulling a sardine out of his pocket and enticing his cat to follow him immediately.
He didn't need to look at Parvana to know that she was scared shitless. The sound of her running was enough. He knew she wouldn't bother them again, he made sure of that and he had a blast doing it!
Good thing his performance didn't need to last long, since the contact lenses he was wearing were really itchy, and he had trouble seeing where he was going. As demonstrated when bumped into a streetlight.
"Goddammit…." He grumbled.
"Careful….careful…." Lincoln slowly stepped into Lisa's room while carrying Lola's wall mirror. He heard construction noises but dared not to divert his focus from the heavy mirror and carefully and laboriously leaned it against the wall.
With sweat dripping down his forehead, he finally looked in the direction of the noise and was stumped to see Fenton, now sporting two pairs of extended arms and holding various work tools, building a nearly completed bedframe.
"What the heck's going on?"
"Greetings. Master Lisa has issued the. Construction of a new. Bed for her new roommate." Fenton explained, his attention still focused on completing the bed. "She calculates it's simpler. And less energy demanding than. Engaging in negotiation with. Subject Luna during her. Faze of "adolescent angst".
"And you made that while I was away?" Lincoln couldn't believe it? He had barely been gone for fifteen minutes. He and Lisa had already brought in most of Lola's stuff and had left it in a pile, including the small stand and chair that came with Lola's beauty mirror.
"Positive."
That did make some sense to Lincoln. He'd rather let Luna cool off and if Lisa fox-bot could make a new bad at this speed, who was he to complain? It made the transfer all the easier.
"And where is your "master"?" Lincoln inquired, noticing that his youngest sister was nowhere to be seen.
"I am under orders not to. Disclose master's location." The robot replied before using one of his arms to pull a 100-dollar bill from a slit in his chest and the arm extended all the way to Lincoln, making him flinch a bit.
"But she has requested that. You depart and purchase new mattress."
Lincoln took the money but he had no intention of leaving, especially after noticing another, smaller pile in the far corner of the room, and this one was covered with a sheet.
"And what's under that sheet?" he asked accusingly.
"Also confidential."
Lincoln narrowed his eyes. He had been thinking about Lisa while transporting Lola's stuff, and was hit with one particularly concerning thought while on the job. But he knew Fenton wouldn't tell him anything and he knew that pushing the android's buttons could cause him grave bodily harm, like what happened to Clyde.
"Fine, I'll go and buy that mattress." Lincoln pretended to leave, turning around and walking out of the room. Once he was out of sight, he just made stomping noises, each one softer than the other, before standing still behind the wall and waiting.
He listened in, and despite the loud drilling and hammering, he made out a footfall.
"Is he gone?"
"Positive."
Thinking of a quick excuse, Lincoln walked back in. "Wait? Are you sure this is enough for a mattress-Lisa?" he feigned surprise.
"Lincoln?!" she grew nervous. Lincoln saw that she was holding on to some kind of high-tech helmet thing?
"Should I remove him. From the premise?" Fenton politely asked his creator, while the power drill on his upper left arm morphed into a buzzsaw. Lincoln's eyes grew wide.
"No, idiot!" a flustered Lisa snapped at him. "Just…just finish your job!"
"As you wish." With his buzzsaw turning back into a power drill, Fenton resumed building the bed.
Feeling like it was safe to enter, Lincoln took on a sterner look and approached his sister.
"What's that helmet thing?"
"It's eh…" Lisa stammered.
"And what's under that sheet?" Lincoln pointed at the other pile.
"Those are just some of my inventions that survived the recent disasters within this premise." Lisa hastily explained. "I was planning to do away with them…"
"And why were you needing me to leave?" Lincoln cocked an eyebrow.
"I… didn't want to worry you." Lisa explained, trying to keep her cool.
"Worry me?" Lincoln was confused. "Why would this "worry" me? And what's that helmet thing you're holding on to?"
With all those wires and other doohickies protruding from it, Lincoln was sure that, whatever that helmet was, it was meant to be worn by someone and it would have some kind of effect on them. But what?
"This…? This is just one of my early inventions, the Universal Translator-900." Lisa explained. "It's admittedly not the most inventive designation, but I was just one month shy of my second birthday when I made it."
"Translator?" Lincoln inquired. "So that thing does, what? Translate things?"
"Correct. In simple terms, this helmet can download the entire vocabulary of a foreign language into your brain and it allows the wearer to speak said language fluently. Currently, it holds the database for fifteen non-English languages."
"Oh?" Lincoln listened to her, but wasn't sure if she was being truthful. "That thing sounds useful, why would you get rid of it? Does it have malfunctions?"
"Um….no. It works perfectly, never experienced any glitches."
"Right?" Lincoln said skeptically. "How exactly do you know that?"
Lisa gulped and looked aside.
Six months ago…
"C'est l'histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d'elles se fait écraser et l'autre s'écrie: Oh purée !" Luan said while wearing the helmet and laughed.
"Very good. You spoke perfect French, Portuguese and Swahili." Lisa nodded, sitting on a dresser behind her. "That will suffice. Gadolinium."
Upon hearing that word, Luan froze, grew a dopey smile and spirals appeared in her eyes.
Lisa took the helmet off her head and placed it on the dresser, before turning back to the hypnotized teen.
"Alright, you have served your purpose. Now go back to your room and forget everything about how I….requested that you test out my updated invention."
Luan held her arms up like a zombie. "Yes. Go back to room, forget everything." She droned obediently and walked out of the room.
Lisa grabbed her hypno ray and gave it a kiss. "You make persuasion so much simpler."
Back to the present….
"Um…I had volunteers test it out? And they experienced no side effects."
"Mind if I try it then?" Lincoln tested her, thinking Lisa would refuse and therefore oust herself.
But instead, the 3-year-old just groaned and handed it to him. "Sure, if you must."
Lincoln frowned a bit. There was no hesitance in her voice or body language. Feeling somewhat assured, he put it on. That's when he saw Lisa holding a remote and typing some buttons.
"Go on, have a go at it."
"Comment fonctionne ce truc?" Lincoln spoke and a second later, couldn't believe what came out of his mouth. "Qu'est-ce que c'est ça? Je parle français?" he said in amazement.
"Yes, you are, brother." Lisa nodded impassively. "How about a little Spanish?"
"¿Español?" the boy blinked and was once more caught off-guard. "Yo también lo estoy haciendo?"
"Soy un niño, tengo diez años, vivo en una casa grande con nueve hermanas y una es un super genio." He tested out his newly acquired linguistical knowledge. "Y una de ellas está enamorada de un molesto gilipollas."
"Has your curiosity been satisfied, Lincoln?" Lisa tapped her foot and crossed her arms. "Because I can tell you didn't think I was being truthful when you only had my word to go by."
"¿Qué?" Lincoln grew nervous. "¡No! Lo siento. No quise..."
He tried to remove the helmet but the thing was locked to his head. "¡Este maldito casco no se quitará!"
Lisa pressed the big button at the bottom of her remote and the helmet loosened its grip on Lincoln's head, allowing him to remove it. "Lisa, I'm sorry. I was just confused by all the…"
"No reason to apologize. I'd be suspicious of myself too." Lisa said sullenly as she took back the helmet.
"So you're getting rid of the helmet and those other inventions?" Lincoln asked.
"Yes, all of them." Lisa lied. Well, not really. She was being 99% honest.
"Lisa? Aren't you going a bit overboard with this?"
"I thought my inventions were a menace to society." She said plainly.
"That's not…I mean…" Lincoln grew flustered and grumbled incoherently. Now was the time to ask the genius about the thing that had been bothering him.
"Lisa? If you're going to destroy all your inventions…what are you going to do after that?" he asked, genuinely curious. "Are…are you just going to swear off inventing? Because that-"
"Positive." Lisa said without a moment of hesitation. "I thought I had made that abundantly clear."
Lincoln blinked. This wasn't exactly news to him. He knew how guilty Lisa felt about her inventions causing others harm, especially after the zombie flue thing and the incident with Lyle, not to mention teleporting Darcy and her own brother into One Eye's clutches. But there was one big logical fallacy to her new "play it safe" mentality.
"Lisa? Don't you see a major problem with that idea?"
"What?"
"You're a scientist, an inventor." Lincoln raised his voice. "Doing science experiments is what you do. It would be like asking Lynn to swear off sports, or Luna to swear off music."
"Their interests inconvenience people at best and might cause property damage, but they never put lives in danger….that I'm personally aware of."
Lincoln's brow furrowed. "Yes, I know of the risk factor. I was there each time." He saw the toddler wince upon being reminded of that, so he kept his voice gentle.
"I agree that something must be done to avoid such incidents, but what exactly do you plan to do if you're going to swear off science? No offense, but I can't really imagine you taking up any other hobby."
Lisa looked at him, her expression unreadable. "I'll think of something, don't you fret about me. I already made a new friend at the hospital. That's a start."
"Darcy?" Lincoln blinked. "Lisa….Darcy's a nice girl, if a bit rambunctious, but I don't see how you two can spend time together? You are polar opposites. Darcy's just the kind of kid who would love to do all those things that you would deem a "waste of time" and "juvenile" and "unproductive"."
"People can change and adapt." Lisa shrugged, wanting to derail this conversation. She wished she could tell him the truth, but knew that doing so would be counterproductive.
"I know, but making the change from "science inventor" to "little kid who plays with dolls"? That's a daunting task and let's be real here, Lis, you can't do that. I know it and you know it."
Lisa scowled and frustration crept into her voice. "How about you let me worry about my problem, brother. It's not your concern."
Lincoln scowled back. "It is my problem if it concerns one of my-"
"Lincoln." The two screamed and jolted as Lucy appeared behind Lincoln.
"Lucy?" the boy blurted, while Lisa sighed with relief.
"Thank, Tesla." She muttered under her breath. A distraction.
"Lucy, what are you doing here?" Lincoln asked awkwardly. He knew the goth was mad at him.
Her face was even more unreadable than Lisa's. Which was the norm for the stoic girl whose eyes were almost never visible.
"Lisa." The goth acknowledged the youngest Loud and paid no mind to Fenton nosily constructing a bed just in front of them, before turning to her brother. "Can we please talk? Alone?"
"Lucy, this is kind of a bad time-"
"No, it's a great time. I have work to do anyway, destroying my remaining inventions. And you two should settle your differences." Lisa insisted, eager to part ways with Lincoln, at least until she could produce a more elaborate lie to satiate his obvious suspicions.
"Yes. I really want to talk." Lucy insisted, forcing Lincoln to weigh out his option. Ultimately, he knew that Lucy was more urgent than Lisa.
"Alright, let's go. This conversation isn't over, Lisa." Lincoln told the genius before him and Lucy walked out of the room, much to Lisa's relief. She looked down at the helmet she was holding and grew a grim expression. She needed to sped up progress.
"Lucy…." Lincoln looked at the goth awkwardly. "I…I thought you were angry at me?"
"I am." Lucy nodded as they stopped in the hall. "But this is a bad time for fighting, so I'm willing to forgive you."
He had been right. Lincoln had predicted that Lucy would see reason and not let her anger cloud her judgment, and he was thankful for that. He still felt crummy for excluding her from their latest mission. Which by all accounts he shouldn't have, since that mission had been an insane suicide run.
"Lucy, I hope you can understand that we didn't exclude you because…..you know we only did that-"
"To protect me. Yes, I've heard it before." The goth finished for him, her tone bitter and sarcastic.
"I understand why you did it, but I don't appreciate it. I don't appreciate being treated like a baby."
"Lucy, you're not a…ugh.." Lincoln grew a little frustrated. "Lucy, trying to keep someone out of danger, real danger, is not treating someone like a baby, it's because-"
"You care about me." She once more finished for him and crossed her arms. "I know it, and I don't doubt it. But I still don't appreciate being treated like a helpless infant."
"Lucy….damnit. Do you even grasp the danger we were in!" Lincoln raised his voice, catching her by surprise. "This isn't some horror novel or tv show, this was real and the danger was real. If that damn wolf caught us, we'd be dead!"
But then, Lucy saw his look of anger melt into something else, a look of horror and sadness. "I almost lost you to that beast once. I told you everything about how that awful day went down. You may not remember it yourself anymore, but I still do, and it's been haunting me forever. Just the thought of that happening again…." His lip trembled and his voice trailed off as he glanced down at the floor "…I don't what I'd do…"
Lucy once again felt guilty and entitled for lashing out at her brother. She couldn't deny that her interest in One Eye was influenced greatly by her general fascination with horror, but seeing her brother break down with raw emotion reminded her of the consequences such things could have. Like Lincoln said, this monster was real.
"Lincoln…I'm sorry…" she touched his arm, her voice soft. "I didn't mean to upset you." Seeing his response reminded her of how much her brother feared One Eye.
Lincoln feared many things, inquiring the wrath of his sisters, facing bullies, facing Lyle, the list went on. It was one thing to get roughed up by spoiled and entitled sisters, it was another to get beaten up by bullies, it was a whole different thing to get mangled and possibly killed by a mental case like Lyle (especially when he was even crazier under the influence of experimental super-roids), and then there was a wild beast like One Eye, whose sole intent was to kill. Death was the ultimate consequence from getting into trouble and it was one no one could ever mend. And yet Lincoln was willing to face all of those threats, even the worst one, despite the odds being stacked against him.
"Lucy…I just…" Lincoln was cut off when the goth hugged him, the top of her ebony head rubbing against his chin.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you." Lucy told him hoarsely. "I just…never mind. I'm sorry."
Lincoln felt a little relieved. It looked like Lucy had forgiven him. "It's alright….we shouldn't have misled you. I just hope we can…"
"You know that you're very brave."
Lincoln blinked in surprise and let out a weak chuckle. "Me? Brave? Don't be ridiculous, sis. I'm scared of more things than-"
"To be brave means facing one's own worst fears." Lucy said sagely, as she looked at him. "You took on Lyle and even One Eye alone, despite the odds being against you. All to protect your family. That's what makes you brave."
"Well…okay….I guess…" Lincoln grew flustered. Genuine admiration? That's something he rarely got. Lincoln wasn't one to brag, but he guessed he earned it this time? He just really hoped he wouldn't have to be "brave" once more.
"OMG! Totes adorable!" the two separated after being jolted by a flashlight. They looked to their left and saw Leni holding her phone. She took another snapshot, making them flinch from the blinding light.
"Leni, just what are you doing?" a puzzled Lincoln asked while rubbing his eyes.
"Taking a picture. This is too precious!" the fashionista squealed.
"Where are you, Leni!" Lori barked as she stormed out of her room and grabbed Leni by the shoulder, before giving her little brother and sister a disdainful look. "You can gush over the twerps some other time!"
"I was trying to take a picture of Lincoln and Lucy hugging after they had an argument." Leni explained.
"Were you spying on us?" Lincoln asked with a raised eyebrow.
The still surly Lori's curiosity was mildly piqued. "You two had a fight?" she sneered in disbelief. "Just what in the world could you two dweebs be fighting about?"
Lucy's blood boiled. "It wasn't a fight, we just had a minor disagreement that we quickly resolved like rational human beings."
Lori rolled her eyes dismissively. "Really now, and what was it about? Couldn't decide which nerd property to watch together?" her tone was dripping with mockery as she pretended to ponder.
"Oh, dear, what a tough choice? Ass Savvy or the Vampires of Moroncholia? How ever could you choose one over the other?" she said overdramatically while pressing the back of her hand over her forehead.
Now Lincoln felt his blood boiling, but Lucy was enraged. "Take that back!" she snapped. "You never even watched it!"
"Don't care to!" Lori huffed patronizingly. "It's a dumb show about a bunch of pasty vampires being mopey all the time. The main vampire's nephew was a stud though."
"Oh, I know!" Leni grew dreamy-eyed. "Tristan was so attractive! Even his name makes me light-headed! I don't understand why he left the show so fast?"
"Because people have horrible taste." Lori shrugged.
"No! It's because he was a terrible character and took attention away from Edwin! The actual vampire! He was detrimental to the show!" Lucy retorted flippantly. "The immediate negative rece-"
"Pffttt….of course! That show's main audience are creepy goths with no social lives." Lori scoffed. "Not like those freaks would appreciate a real leading-man like Tristan."
Lucy trembled with anger but Lincoln put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Calm down, Luce. Don't let her get to you." He whispered encouragingly. "You don't expect her to understand the true depth of vampire melodrama?"
"Of course not…." Lucy grumbled under her breath. Despite her anger, her natural instinct told her not to push the buttons of her much bigger, stronger and easily set off sister.
"Lori, that was uncalled for!" Lincoln yelled at the eldest sister, but she wasn't even remotely phased.
"Apologize for that." Lincoln demanded. Lori looked almost amused.
"Yeah, right." She snorted. "What do I have to apologize for? Speaking the truth? I thought mom and dad told us not to fib?"
"Don't worry, Lucy. I'm sure you'll learn to appreciate Tristan more once you're older." Leni told her little sister reassuringly, giving her a wink.
"Over my dead body." The goth grumbled.
"Oh, for the love of? You can give little Ghoul Girl "the talk" later!" Lori gruffly grabbed Leni by the shoulder. "We have places to be!"
She marched past her younger siblings and dragged Leni with her.
"Wha-where are you going?" Lincoln asked.
Lori looked over her shoulder. "None of you beeswax, twerp!" she held her fist up. "This ain't no siblings meeting, it's a "sisters meeting"! So you two stay out of it!"
"But didn't you say Lynn wasn't allowed?" Leni asked innocently.
"Yes, she is…I mean she isn't!" Lori added, glaring daggers at Lincoln and Lucy. "Same goes for Wednesday Addams there!"
Lincoln followed them but they slammed the door in his face. Stepping back, he heard them locking it and realized it was Luna's room.
"What are they up to?" he asked in a worried tone.
"Lincoln, please remind to make voodoo dolls of Tristian and Lori, and then run a butcher's knife through their black hearts." Lucy told him, her tone laced with venom.
"Lucy, you're going to have to put a pin on that, something is going on here?" Lincoln told her seriously and looked back at the door. "Call it a hunch, but I think Lori is plotting something?"
Realizing that, Lucy calmed down. "Yes, I think you're right." She concurred. "Lori was very upset after mom and dad took her phone away. Her phone is her world and now it's been taken away from her, and an upset Lori is at her most spiteful."
"Yes, that's what worries me." Lincoln frowned. "C'mon. We gotta get Lynn. A new disaster is brewing, I'm sure of it."
Lynn framed a certain corner of the twins' room with her fingers. "I think my closet can go there. To keep all my sports equipment." She then frowned a bit. "Guess there's no rush for that."
She looked at her clothes, which were lying in a pile in the middle of the room, and yet there was still plenty of space.
"Say, Lana? Is it just me or is this room bigger than my old one?" Lynn noted. It did indeed look like it had comparatively more space than her old one, where her bed and Lucy's were barely 5 feet apart, with only a drawer between them.
Here though, Lynn guessed that three of her could lie down in a row to cover the distance between the two beds and there was no drawer under the window, making it easier to access it. She could get used to these new accommodations. Just one more reason to keep the house from being demolished.
"Yeah, I guess." She heard her younger sister.
"Y'know, I kinda expected Lola's half to be pink?" Lynn said absentmindedly. "I dunno, I kinda imagined her half to be pink and yours to be blue or something, cut down the middle? Sounds dumb, but I kinda had that in mind?" Was it that long since she had last stepped foot here?
"I guess…I remember some time ago we couldn't agree on which color…" Lana muttered sadly, making Lynn turn towards her and find her looking at the dresser where all her pet enclosures used to stand. Lynn sighed sadly and approached her.
"I wanted blue, she wanted pink. In the end, dad used a different color to paint the walls and neither of us was happy." Lana recollected, glancing at the drab, beige-colored walls.
"Maybe we can repaint it now." Lynn approached her, once more trying to lift her spirit. "Personally, I prefer red, but maybe blue looks better as a wall color? You prefer navy blue or sky blue?"
"Huh?" Lana looked at her. "I dunno…..maybe sky blue?"
Lynn frowned. She was about to tell her that they were going to do something together, something fun to take Lana's mind off her confiscated pets, but then Lynn remembered that she wasn't available. She could be called in any time now to deal with another problem, and that dreaded day was now oh-so close.
"Lynn?" Lana looked at her with big eyes. "Can we do something together? I wanna play a game of-"
"Lynn, there you are!"
"And there it is. Time to disappoint her." Lynn groaned inwardly as she turned around came face to face with Lincoln.
"We need to talk."
"I had a feeling we had to." She rolled her eyes. "So what's the hullabaloo now?"
"What hullabaloo?" a confused Lana asked before noticing Lucy next to Lincoln. "Hey, what's she doing here?"
"Living in the same house." Lucy deadpanned. Lana scowled at her but Lynn got between them.
"Lana, I gotta take this." The jock explained quickly. "It's urgent."
"What do you mean "urgent"? Is something bad going on?"
She looked at Lincoln and Lucy, but they remained quiet and carried impassive expressions.
"No, no. We just gotta talk about something. Nothing big." Lynn insisted.
"Then I wanna come." Lana replied.
"No, you can't."
"Why not? If something's going on here, why won't you tell me?"
"Because it's noting important, Lana." Lincoln insisted. "We just need to borrow Lynn for a bit."
"Yes, I'll be back in no time." Lynn told her, but Lana wasn't buying it.
Lincoln, okay. But why on Earth would Lynn go off to do something with Lucy? They couldn't stand each other? And why wasn't Lucy paling around with her new roommate?"
"But-"
"I'll be right back, you just put your clothes in a separate pile." Lynn told her as she pushed Lincoln and Lucy out of the room and closed the door shut.
Now alone, Lana frowned and her brow furrowed. She felt an odd mixture of hurt and confusion. Why did Lynn just ditch her, right as she was asking her to play with her? But she also didn't understand why Lynn would just run off with Lucy of all people?
Then she heard her phone ringing.
"C'mon, let's take this outside." Lynn told them as she opened the front door and got out.
"Wait, Lynn. We didn't even tell you what-"
"In a minute, Lincoln. Let's just create some distance!" Lynn ran out to the tire swing and Lincoln and Lucy caught up with her.
"Alright, what's the deal?"
"Why did you take us here?" Lucy asked.
Lynn gave her a condescending look and crossed her arms. "I saw that look on Lana's face. She's getting curious. Better to play it safe than deal with another pintsized snoop, Lucy." The goth glared back at her and let out a low growl.
"Smart thinking, Lynn." Lincoln commended her, while Lucy scoffed silently. "As for what's going on, we saw Lori dragging Leni to Luna's room, looks like they are having some kind of meeting."
"What? Are they having a slumber party?" Lynn snorted before it hit her. "Wait, wait? You think they are planning to cause trouble?"
"Undoubtedly." Lucy nodded.
"Now, let's not jump to conclusions." Lincoln insisted, without much conviction. "Lori said that they were having a "sisters meeting"-"
"Sisters meeting?" Lynn squinted. "When did they ever have one of those?"
They had sibling meetings every now and then, when they were facing an issue that concerned all of them, but why would her sisters have a "sisters meeting" and exclude Lincoln? They never got together like that, mainly since between the tomboys, girly girls and oddballs, all nine of them couldn't possibly be dealing with a mutual issue that wouldn't concern Lincoln as well, usually some broad issue? Anything even mildly specific only concerned two or three of them at worst?
"Actually, me and you aren't invited for some reason, Lynn." Lucy added. Lynn's eyes widened.
Then she grimaced. "Okay, now I'm certain Lori is up to something."
Lincoln wanted to give Lori the benefit of the doubt, but the fact that she was having a meeting and excluding him, Lynn and Lucy specifically was highly suspect, to say the least.
"You're right. I hate to do this, but I guess we'll have to spy on them." Lincoln said reluctantly. "Maybe whatever Lori wants to tell them isn't of concern, or at the very least not too bad, but we can't know anything until we hear the details."
"And looks like Lori doesn't want us to hear the details." Lucy crossed her arms. "Yup. Definitely an evil conspiracy."
"For once, you're right on the mark." Lynn reluctantly agreed and exhaled. "Alright. You guys stay here and keep an eye on things, I'll get Ryan. Me and him will get to the bottom of this."
"Can't you just call him to come?" Lincoln asked, only to see Lynn already typing a message on her phone.
"Way ahead of ya. But we'll need special equipment to sneak our way into that secret meeting." Lynn explained and was already running down the street. "If you learn anything, call us!"
Lincoln watched her go, when Lucy asked him something. "Shouldn't we tell grandfather about this? He said he would help?"
"Not now, I heard him and dad talking about having a private conversation. I have a feeling whatever Pop-Pop wants to tell him, it's important and dad needs to hear it. We shouldn't disturb them unless we're absolutely certain that there's an emergency."
Lucy looked at him. "Lincoln, do you honestly believe that there's even the slightest chance that Lori's meeting won't spell trouble?" she asked rhetorically.
"I…not really." Her brother sighed. "But you can't convict a crook if it's just your word against theirs, you'll need evidence. And the last thing we need right now is to have our sisters catch wind that we're snitching on them before we have any incriminating evidence to show mom and dad."
"Fair point…" Lucy reluctantly agreed, when she realized something. "Wait? You said "sisters", doesn't that mean Lori's going to…."
Lincoln's eyes widened. "Let's go!"
Lynn barged into Ryan's room, as usual forgetting to knock.
"Ryan! Are you…..what the hell?" she made a face as she found Ryan sitting on his bed next to a duffle bag and…peeling scales of his arm?
"Ah, Lynn." He said casually as he peeled off the last remaining scales. "We're loaded and ready to go."
"Just what are you doing?" Lynn asked him with a queasy expression. "Do you have a medical condition I should know about?"
"Nah…" he shrugged and smirked. "This was just part of a disguise I put on to deal with a minor problem. You guys can thank me later."
He grabbed the duffle bag, pulled the strap over his shoulder and jumped to his feet. "I knew you kiddies would come calling me for help in no time." He told Lynn with an air of smarminess.
But the girl walked up to him and crossed her arms, carrying a serious expression.
"Just what was that "minor problem", Ryan?" she inquired, well aware of Ryan's habit of underplaying serious issues.
"Nothing, I took care of it myself." Ryan insisted. "But if you must know, that chick in the veil, the one from Kathy's charity group? She was skulking around."
"What? You mean Parvana?" Lynn hadn't expected that. "What do you mean she was "skulking around"?"
Ryan yawned, not so much because he was trying to act aloof, but because he was starting to feel his lack of sleep. "Seems ever since she saw Lizzie, Linky and that other kid teleport themselves in front of her, she's been a bit….freaked-out. She wants to know just what the hell that was about."
He grew a sly smirk. "Either that or you should be feeling jealous, Lynn-ow!"
Lynn gave him a smack to the head. "I'm pretty sure it's the former." she scoffed. "So you're saying she didn't brush that off as her imagination going wild?"
"Nope." Ryan rubbed his head. "But don't worry, I discouraged her from snooping around again, by making her believe that we're some kind of highly advanced alien race and that we'll vaporize her if she gets on our case again."
"You did what?!"
Ryan couldn't help but snicker and slapped his knee. "You shouldn't have seen the look on her face. I scared her good!"
Lynn didn't share that sentiment. "You blockhead! Why didn't you tell us about that!" she lamented.
"Because I didn't want to bother you with such a minor inconvenience." Ryan shrugged dismissively. "Not like she's a threat."
"Maybe. But why did you have to pull such a crazy stunt!" Lynn asked him. "Did it ever occur to you that this would just make her all the more nosy and craving for answers!"
"Oh, relax. She won't be spying on us again, I scared her away. She was utterly petrified after my amazing performance as an alien enforcer." Ryan insisted and walked past her. "Besides, what threat would she pose even if she did come back?"
Rolling her eyes, Lynn decided to drop the matter for the moment and focus on the real issue. "Alright, but don't you do something like that again without telling us, you hear!" she told him as she ran after him through the hall and down the stairs.
"Sure." Ryan smiled at her in the living room. "Cross my heart, hope to die."
Lynn narrowed her eyes and looked at his back to see if he was crossing his fingers.
"So, you're saying there's a conspiracy going on at your place?" Ryan asked as he closed the front door.
"Unfortunately…."
Lynn saw him grow a gleeful smile. "Sweet! Finally, something exciting is going on, I couldn't bear another second as a freaking social worker."
""Exciting" ain't the word I would use." Lynn told him grimly as they were now walking down the street. "We don't know for sure what Lori is up to, that's what you and me need to dig up."
"Oh, so she's the mastermind behind it?" Ryan cocked an eyebrow. "I told you, Lynn! I've been telling you all this time that the whole "brainless Ms. Goody-Good" routine was a sham!"
Lynn rolled her eyes. "That's Leni you're thinking of, idiot. I'm talking about Lori, the….other tall, blonde one. The ones that's been openly mean to us all this time."
Ryan was a little disappointed but shrugged. "Ah, the phone-addict? The one who socked you in the eye?" he said knowingly.
Lynn gave him a mean look. "It was a lucky shot, I can take her on any day!" She insisted.
"Figures she would start causing trouble as soon as she came back."
"Yeah, well, mom took her phone away as part of our collective punishment." Lynn explained grimly.
"Uhhh…" Ryan grew an awkward expression. "That's right? Your mom was royally pissed off last time I saw her? How…how bad is your punishment?" He felt a huge swell of guilt, knowing it was his sister who had landed the Louds in trouble in the first place.
"Did you escape from your room?"
"No, mom and dad didn't ground us. They did take away our privileges for a week though. No tv or internet. And they confiscated my sports equipment, Lincoln's comics, Luna's instruments, you get the drill."
Ryan tried to suppress his guilt in order to focus on the mission. He could make it up to Lynn later. What she told him certainly had unfortunate implications.
"So I take it all your sisters are pissed?"
"That's an understatement." Lynn grimaced. "I know Lana is very upset, I've been with her ever since mom and dad declared our punishments. She didn't deserve any of it. She's listened to me and behaved ever since your sister came to babysit us."
"And what about Blondy? I know "cranky" is her default mode, so how cranky is she now that her precious phone's been confiscated?" Ryan asked, though he could easily imagine it himself.
"Cranky enough to cause trouble, that's for sure. Far bigger trouble than just hosting a house party without permission."
Ryan smirked. "All the sweeter once we bust her-uph!"
They had bumped into two big bellies and stumbled back.
"Hey, what's the big idea!" Lynn snapped and shook her fists, but Ryan grew a classic "Oh, crap" expression and started sweating upon recognizing the two rotund brutes they had run into.
"Hey, it's that little rat!" Hawk pointed his big, meaty finger at Ryan.
"Well, well, well…look who finally crawled out of his hole!" Hank said while clenching his oversized fists.
"Hank? Hawk? My old pals?" Ryan said nervously while wringing his hands. "It's a small world?"
"Wait, are these two the guys that tried to beat you up?" Lynn asked him.
"That's right, twerp!" Hawk lamented.
"You mean the ones that were tricked by Lyle?" Lynn snorted in disbelief. "By Lyle? How dumb do-ow!"
Ryan elbowed her in the flank. "Lynn, this is not the place to get mouthy." He whispered to her urgently.
"You calling us stupid!" Hank snapped.
"You? Stupid? Don't be ridiculous." Ryan chuckled awkwardly. "Excuse Lynn's rudeness. My friend's really bad with words. So…eh…what have you two been up to?"
"Take a wild guess, shrimp!" Hank wasn't beating around the bush. "We want to finish what we started!"
"Oh, shit…" Ryan and Lynn stepped back as the towering Hogan brothers took a step forward, fists raised.
"Now, now, there is no need to get violent." Ryan told them cordially. "I understand you two fine gents were very upset last time we met. I don't blame you for being unwilling to talk things out then or for smashing my head against a tree several times. But now that you had the chance to think things through, you do understand that-"
"What? That Lyle punk played us for saps? You think we don't know that?" Hank asked indignantly. "We figured that out ages ago! You think we're stupid?"
"We're not stupid!" Hawk insisted adamantly. "But that little bastard has dropped off the face of the planet! We can't teach him a lesson if he's not there!"
"Oh, that's great." Ryan chuckled and pulled Lynn along. "I knew we could clear this mess up like rational adults, now-"
"Nuh-uh!" Hank said as him and Hawk blocked the tween's path with their massive arms. "You're not off the hook, ugly!"
"But I thought-"
"You may not have talked shit about our momma, but you did trick us into clonking each other out cold with bats! That really hurt!" Hawk lamented.
"Not to mention this!" Hank lifted his shirt and his brother followed suit, revealing the words "Dumb" and "Dumber", which were partially scrubbed off but still readable.
Ryan gulped, there was no talking his way out of this. Seeing that, a stupefied Lynn turned to him and gave him a nasty look. In hindsight, she shouldn't have been that surprised.
"You just had to do it, didn't you!"
Ryan chuckled sheepishly at her and sweated bullets. "I…got carried away, okay?"
"Nobody makes a fool out of the Hogan bros!" Hank roared.
"Now listen here, you Neanderthals!" Lynn stepped in front of Ryan, once more being bold but not so rational with her actions. "We have places to go and no time for this bullshit!"
"Step aside, short stack!" Hank told her. "This ain't your business!"
Hank had picked the perfect insult to get Lynn's blood boiling. "That's it!" she pulled her right sleeve up and bulged her bicep. Hank and Hogan looked rather unimpressed by the sight of her skinny arm.
"If you think you can pummel my friend, you have another thing coming!" she barked. "If you mess with him, you mess with me!"
She swung her fist and hit Hank in the gut. The hulking teen just laughed it off. "Ha! That tickled! Now that's a pussy punch if I ever felt one!"
Growling and clenching her teeth, Lynn proceeded to punch his bloated gut again and again, and even delivered two spin kicks, but Hank just yawned.
"Oh, we're so screwed…" Ryan muttered while Lynn continued trying to beat up Hank, with little effect.
Acting quickly, Hawk pulled her beanie over her eyes and easily shoved her back. Ryan caught her from falling while the Hogans laughed.
"Fine, if you want to make it your business, so be it!" Hank told Lynn. "We'll beat up both of your!"
"Swell! One punching bag for both of us!" Hawk beamed.
"Wait? You wouldn't hit a girl, would you?" Ryan asked them.
Pulling her beanie back up, Lynn glared up at him. "What are you-"
"Shhh…I'm trying to save your hide." He told her curtly.
"No, our momma always told us to treat ladies with respect." Hawk told her. "But I see no girl here!"
Lynn got up and glared daggers at them. "But I AM a girl, you meat-heads!"
Hank snorted. "Sure." He said sarcastically. "And me and Hawk are Chinese!"
Lynn was even more enraged but it slowly dawned on her how hopelessly outmatched she was, as Hank and Hawk advanced towards them, making her and Ryan step back. Damn, if only these two idiots were four or five years younger, then she would have taught them who's boss!
"Fine mess you got us into now!" She snapped at Ryan.
"Not to worry, I know just what to do." Ryan told her coolly.
"What?"
His façade of confidence dropped immediately, but his tone was still even. "Run like hell."
Ryan's need to rub salt in the wound came back to bite him in the ass. Though him tricking Hank and Hawk into bashing each other in the head probably already sealed the deal for them wanting payback. Their return won't be a big deal, just like last time, but their untimely arrival will have one big consequence, it will prevent Lynn and Ryan from returning to the Louds' house sooner, which just might help the sisters get their conspiracy off to a smooth start. Or maybe there is no conspiracy and Lori just wants to whine about her first-world problems to Leni and Luna? But suffice to say, if Lincoln and Lucy try to mess with Lori's plans by their lonesome, they'll be in big trouble if caught.
Same thing for Parvana. Having an outsider get suspicious of all the strange things that have happened with the Louds in this very, very eventful week could make for a humorous little inconvenience, especially now that Ryan gave her the idea that there's a lot more behind them than there really is, just one kid genius who wants to drain herself of all her intelligence. Speaking of which, we just saw the device Lisa will use to do that. Kinda like that Jimmy Neutron episode where the title character tried to do the same thing, except here, Lisa is using a modified version of a pre-existing invention, one that clearly has a lot of practical use.
