Disclaimer: Okay, just to be clear, all the build-up regarding Luna's crush on Sam is going to get paid off in this chapter, and, as you might have expected, not in a heartfelt or romantic way. Ryan and Lynn weren't very sympathetic to Luna's situation before and be warned, here it's going to be at the forefront (if only for a scene or two), as they'll try to exploit it. Though rest assured, Lincoln (the implausibly virtuous voice of reason in this story) is going to lecture them that what they are trying to do is wrong. Besides me liking my "crosses the line twice" humor, I'm also strongly against portraying minorities as squeaky-clean saints instead as, y'know, actual people, people with very human vices. With that in mind, just imagine Luna and Sam's dynamic (as depicted here) if Luna were a boy, and ask yourself if you would still think that my treatment of her was harsh and unfair, or that Luna wasn't a bit of a creep (as most 14/15-year-olds tend to be XD).


Peeking into the kitchen, the four saw Luna reaching out to one of the cabinets and pulling out a bag of nachos. She poured it into a big bowl near the kitchen sink and added molten cheese, before splashing some water from the fossette into her face and leaning onto the sink, breathing in and out, as if she were nervous, much to the other's confusion.

"Calm down, calm down, dude." She told herself, facing away from them. "Stay cool. You need to come clean with her. Just one confession and everything will be uphill from there."

"I don't believe it?" Ryan snickered quietly. "She's going to do it."

"Seriously?" Lynn snickered as well, before feeling her heart racing. Sam's arrival had truly been a blessing!

"No, it can't be?" Lincoln was flabbergasted. "Can it?"

Suddenly, Ryan stepped forward.

"Where are you going?" Lincoln asked him.

"We just found ourselves a mole?" the other boy smirked. "We've won."

"Of course." Lynn smiled and followed him, with Lucy and Lincoln in suit.

"No wait!" Lincoln cried when a new voice entered the conversation.

"Lynn, can I talk to you?" the jock froze and turned around.

"Lana?"

"Lana?" Lincoln looked at her as well.

Lynn scowled at her disdainfully. "Oh, come home, have we?"

Lana scuffled her foot. "Look, Lynn. I gotta-"

"Ugh!" Lynn shut her eyes. Talk about abysmal timing? She would give her an earful later.

"I don't have time for this. Later." She shooed her away.

"But, Lynn?"

"Lynn, don't do this." Lincoln followed the jock, completely forgetting about Lana, who remained where she stood, held back by shame.

"Just one confession." Luna braced herself as she grabbed the bowl. "That's all you need to do, man-"

"Ello gov'nor." She jumped and found Ryan standing behind her, arms crossed and sporting the smuggest of smirks, with Lucy by his side. Luna dropped the bowl and the nachos and molten cheese splattered all across the floor.

"What the hell, dude!" she snapped at him. "Look at what you've made me do? This was meant for me and Sam-"

"Oh, what's some spilled nachos between girlfriends, am I right?" Ryan brushed her off, his comment cutting deep and it made her lips go thin and her pupils shrink.

Lynn and Lincoln joined them, the former also sporting a cocky smirk. "You cooked up something special for you and Sam, huh?"

Luna scowled. "What's it to ya?"

"Guys, let's just leave her be?" Lincoln spoke up but was promptly ignored by the tweens.

"Oh, nothing." Lynn crossed her arms smugly. "Just need you to do us a favor, sis."

"What for? I don't owe you anything. Besides, I have stuff to do. Important stuff." Luna argued.

"Oh, but I think you do." Lynn insisted. "See, our silence does not come without a price."

Luna froze with fear, feeling like a cornered animal. "W-what's that supposed to m-mean?"

"Let's just leave her alone." Lincoln hissed at the others but his voice was tuned out by Ryan letting out a long, cruel laugh, one which gave Luna chills.

"Oh, puh-lezee." He told her. "Do you take us for a pack of monumental fools, Moon Girl? You weren't even being subtle with it."

"Yeah, and don't think we didn't hear ya?" Lynn added, trying not snicker.

"I..I wasn't talking about-"

"About telling your best friend how you really feel about her?" Ryan made a kissy face and held his clutched hands bellow his chin. "How romantic."

At that moment, Luna knew the jig was up. She reacted on instinct, panic overriding all other senses.

"How do you know!" she freaked out and grabbed Ryan by the helm of his shirt.

The boy smirked with satisfaction and turned to the others. "Paging Dr. Loud! She's LGBT positive! Emphasis on the L!" Trembling with fear, Luna let go and stumbled back, her heart pounding rapidly.

"We got a confession." Lynn chuckled.

Ryan and Lynn started giggling uncontrollably while Luna sweated profusely. Lincoln watched the whole thing uncomfortably.

Ryan wiped a tear from his eye and finally calmed down. "Alright, tuz, here's the deal." He started in a more business-like tone. "I'm not so cruel as to blab out someone's dirty little secret for shits and giggles, but if you want us to keep our mouths shut…."

"….you'll need to do us a favor, Luna. Plain and simple." Lynn folded her arms again. "We got a deal?"

The trembling Luna watched them, completely mortified. After getting no response, Ryan grew impatient.

"Do you really want your sisters to know?" he pressed on. "They'll never let you live it down!"

"Leave me alone!" Luna cried and ran past them.

"A tough negotiator, are we?" Ryan snarked, ready to go after her, only for Lincoln to grab his arm and stop him, much to the former and the girl's surprise.

"No! I said leave her be!" Lincoln let go and jumped in his way. "We're not doing this. We're not stopping this low!"

"Why not? Victory is practically ours?" a befuddled Lynn retorted.

"Because it's wrong!"

Ryan snapped his head back. "Here we go again. You're going to annoy us with some preachy lecture about how amoral our actions are, but in the end, you'll go through with it anyway because there's no other option. Can we skip that part and just get to bussi-"

"No! I'm serious about this! I'm putting my foot down." Lincoln retorted while stomping his foot. "This is going too far! Way too far! I refuse to do it! I refuse to exploit people like this!"

"But we already exploited them?" Lucy asked. "What about your prank call? What about-"

"This is different, Lucy. This is something very personal to Luna, I won't exploit it for my own gain. If we do this….we….we might as well just hold her at gunpoint. It's as low as you can go."

Lucy looked at Lynn and Ryan. "Didn't they already do that with Jenny?"

Ryan snorted. "It's one thing to hold someone at gunpoint, Linky. It's another to pull the trigger."

"He's right. We're not going to actually tell anyone." Lynn agreed with him. "We ain't that cruel. But it's the best way to get her to talk. We need leverage over her. And what better way-"

"I understand "leverage", Lynn. It's one thing to have dirt on someone, but it's another when the so-called dirt is something this intimate and personal, when you take something that could hurt that person on such a deep-"

"Here come the lectures." Ryan groaned exaggeratedly. "In case you've forgotten, our mission is to keep your idiot sisters from fucking things up! Not to hold PSAs about how it's "Okay to be gay".

Lincoln walked up to him, tilting his head up to look him in the face. "Tell me something, just how did you feel when all the other kids made fun of you in your hometown, just because of the way you looked?"

That question managed to crack Ryan's smug exterior a bit.

"How did you feel being in such a vulnerable position? It wasn't your fault that you look the way you look, you had no control over that? But they didn't care, did they? They still singled you out and persecuted you mercilessly. They held that leverage over you and there was nothing you could do about it. That's no different than Luna's situation."

Ryan's face hardened and he sneered. "That's precious. You're comparing my "unique complexion" to Moon Girl wanting to canoodle with another chick? Get real, Linky. It's completely different."

"See this?" he gestured at his face. "My mug is public domain; I couldn't hide it even if I wanted to. I never worried about being exposed because I was already exposed. The jig was up the moment I was born."

"But you were still persecuted with no mercy." Lincoln countered. "They still had leverage over you."

"Nah-ah." Ryan glowered at him. "If someone tried to pull that stunt on me, I would just beat them up."

"And so you did. And where did that get you exactly?" Lincoln countered, making Ryan frown bitterly.

Lincoln turned to Lucy. "And you're in the exact same position at school, Lucy. Not only that, but you also stand out among your peers and your own family because of your unique hobbies and interests. How does it feel being judged, mocked and discriminated because of it?"

Lucy looked down shamefully.

"Look, Lincoln." Lynn spoke up curtly. "We're not planning to oust her, it's just a freaking bluff to get her to cooperate. She won't cooperate if she's not scared."

"Now you're sounding like Lori." Lincoln countered, eliciting a shocked reaction from the jock.

"And who's to say you'll actually stop after she has fulfilled her end of the bargain?" Lincoln added, glaring at her and Ryan. "It's a slippery slope, and it's all too easy to slide down it."

"We won't get carried away." Lynn retorted bluntly. "I'm not like Lori!"

"Then you shouldn't do this."

"We have to do it."

Lincoln sighed. "Lemme put this in perspective for you, Lynn? Remember when you were nine? When you did that stunt with the dirt bike, and mom and dad pressured Lori into being your cameraman because no one else would do it?"

Lynn paled as her brother sparked that painful memory.

"What now?" Ryan blinked, while Lucy just listened attentively.

"It didn't go the way you planned, did it? It was one embarrassing wipeout? And Lori caught it on camera? And what did she do? She used it to extort you without an ounce of mercy? The rest of us spent two weeks being perplexed why you were being an obedient servant to her all while Lori milked that leverage for all its worth. How exactly did it feel to be in that position?"

Lynn wilted and looked aside.

"I'm never gonna learn about what happened there either, will I?" Ryan asked with idle sarcasm.

"She made you do all those menial tasks until you couldn't take it anymore and you smacked her, ending the deal. Of course, Lori felt spiteful, especially in the moment, and she showed us the video, and our sisters all gave you hell for it for nearly a month."

"Oh, I remember that?" Lucy smiled nostalgically.

Lincoln glared at her, making her shrink. "….eh, but not fondly." She added.

Lincoln pointed at himself. "I too laughed at it and "joined the fun", as much as I feel ashamed about it now. So don't you tell me that I don't know how tempting that feels, to exploit someone when you have such "juicy" and compromising intel. There had been many times I was wishing that I had some kind of leverage over you girls, especially when you ticked me off."

Lynn didn't have a response to that.

"Or if you want a more recent example, how about the reason behind that hat of yours?"

"Alright, I get it." Lynn snapped bashfully. "You made your point. What do you want me to do?"

Lincoln's face softened, feeling guilty for reminding her of that embarrassing event, but he had to get his point across. Though he knew one member of his team would not get it. He saw things through a "dog eats dog" lens.

"Seriously, guys?" Ryan lamented. "You're just going to pass an easy victory like that?"

"Ryan, just shut up. Or I'll rearrange your face into something more pleasant." Lynn grumbled while tugging on her beanie, before talking to herself. "I never did make Lori suffer for what she did to me?"

Ryan was stumped. He expected back-up from the girls, but neither came to his aid. They were both silenced by Lincoln.

Ryan turned to Lincoln with an angry glare. "So what are we supposed to do now, huh? Time's of the essence?"

How right he was.

"Alert. Alert." They heard Fenton's voice and the fox-bot flew down and landed in front of them. "Subjects Lori and. Subject Leni are. On the move. Their intention is to leave. This premise. Indefinitely."

"Great, now what?" Ryan asked Lincoln curtly.

"Go find Luna and Lola and grab them!" they heard Lori as she stormed down the stairs. "And Lana too! Wherever she might be!"

"I'm going!" they heard Lola's shrill voice. "I cannot stay one moment in this house with those restrictions!"

"Are you shitting me!" Ryan ranted. "Mr. L didn't ground that little monster!"

"I was confident that she would push him to his breaking point, like she did with you and your sister." Lucy noted. "It sucks to be wrong."

Lori arrived at the bottom of the stairs and glared at them, making them huddle closer together. She noticed Fenton standing next to them.

"Aren't you twerps a little too old to be playing with dolls?" she sneered spitefully.

"Hello. I am Fenton." The robot introduced himself. "I am an artificial-"

"Shhhhhh!" Lincoln grabbed him. "Pretend to be a toy. That's an order."

"He's an action figure." Lincoln insisted to the teen. "With a built-in voice box."

"Whatever! I don't care about your nerd terminology." Lori turned away and walked off. "I'm SO out of here!" She didn't seem to in the mood for a verbal brawl.

"Right after you!" Lola came running down the stairs.

"Lori! Luna's room is locked?" Leni called from upstairs. "And I don't know where Lana is?"

"I don't care! If they won't come now let them drive themselves!" Lori snapped before glancing at the four, her expression showing that she was being careful with her words, not let too much slip.

Sighing, Lynn sent Lincoln an annoyed look. "Congrats, you've forced us into it." She told him grimly before running off and blocking Lori's path.

"Out of my way, Lynn!" Lori snapped. "Or you're dead meat!"

"You're going nowhere, Lori!" Lynn stood her ground and folded her arms.

The blonde laughed cruelly. "And how are you going to stop me? None of us are grounded, in case you-"

"Because I'm issuing a challenge!" Lynn pointed at her. "For a ritual sibling duel!"

"What?" Lori blurted.

"What!" Lincoln, Lucy, Lola and even Leni all uttered in shock.

"What now?" Ryan made a face, once more being the one who was out of the loop.

"A sibling duel?" Lori scoffed, mildly curious. "Why? We literally hadn't had one of those in eons?"

"Because you've grown too big-headed for our good, and someone needs to put you in your place!" Lynn exclaimed. "And I'm the one who'll do it!"

Lori laughed again at the absurdity of the claim. "And why should I accept it? You think I don't have better things to do?"

Lynn grew nervous. She had to make her agree, some way, somehow. Looking around, she realized that half of their siblings were watching them. Lincoln, Lucy, Lola and Leni were all there.

The jock crossed her arms, trying to act nonchalant. "Fine. If you don't want to, you don't have to. But I guess that proves it. And these guys can testify to it."

"Proves what?" Lori narrowed her eyes.

Lynn smirked. "You're scared that your "baby sister" will beat you! You never did go up against me in one of these, did ya?"

"Can't blame ya for being chicken?" she shrugged with unbridled cockiness, making Lori boil with anger. "I wouldn't want to go up against myself either. Everyone knows that Lynnsanity is unbeatable. I am quite intimidating."

Lori barked a laugh. "Me? Intimated by you? That's literally the most hilarious thing I have ever heard!"

"Oh? Then are you ready to put your money where your big, fat mouth is?" Lynn challenged her.

"No!" Lori scowled. "I have more important things to do than playing games against an insufferable little twerp like you!"

"Then you are scared of me." Lynn scoffed. "You are SO transparent!"

Noticing half of her siblings' eyes glued on her, plus Ryan's, Lori began to sweat.

To add insult to injury, Lynn started clucking and acting like a chicken.

"Cluck! Cluck! I'm a weenie who can't stand up to Lynn Loud! Cluck! Cluck! I'm pissing my short shorts with fright! Cluck! Cluck!"

The others watched her like she was going crazy. Not for doing the chicken dance but for trying to incur the wrath of Lori Loud, who now looked like a personification of a volcano about to erupt and destroy everything within a 100-mile radius.

"What's going on down there?" a tired Lisa yawned and appeared next to Leni.

"Hello, Master Lisa." Fenton greeted her from below.

"Fenton?" the genius mumbled.

"That's it!" Lori yelled and stomped her foot, causing the whole room to go silent.

"I accept the challenge!" Lori growled, then spat into her hand and offered it to Lynn.

"I just hope you know what you and your team are getting yourself into, you overconfident, conniving little egomaniac." The teen hissed through gritted teeth.

Lynn grew a determined look and spat into her own hand, before shaking Lori's.

"I never back down from a challenge!"

"And I just know I've been roped into something I will deeply regret." Ryan grumbled.

Lori turned to him and gave him an evil smile. "Oh, don't worry about it, Freakazoid. This is a sibling duel, meaning only a Loud sibling can be on either team, I'm sure your girlfriend will gladly explain the rules to you." She turned to Lynn, her voice filled with venom.

Lynn narrowed her eyes at her.

"You can pick whichever three losers will want to help you, as long as they are blood relatives." Lori continued. "I'm sure that will include Ace Sappy and the Corpse Bride over there."

Lincoln and Lucy shuddered inwardly. They knew there was no way out of it now.

Lola glared darkly at Lynn, knowing she would be on Lori's team. Part of her dreaded it, fearing they might lose, but the other part was ecstatic at the prospect of winning and the consequences that would befall Lynn and Lincoln.

"OMG! This is totes awesome!" Leni squeaked and clapped her hands, knowing instinctively that Lori would include her on her team as well. Lori always asked for her help. "It's been so long since we had fun together as a family!"

"Moron!" the princess barked at her. "We all went on a picnic just a few days ago!"

"Luna, just try to understand?" Sam suddenly bumped into Leni, while walking backward, and Lisa moved out of her way.

"Oh, sorry, dude?" Sam hastily apologized to Leni, just as a despondent Luna arrived on the scene. Tears were dripping down her face.

"Sam, how could you do this to me?" Luna cried. "We were so tight?! We've been best friends for years! I thought-"

"Oh, no…" Lincoln looked at the scene in despair. It happened.

"What the hell is going on there?" Lori watched the two rockers scrutinizingly.

"Oh, something very ugly just went down." Ryan appeared next to her, his tone jovial. Though getting friendzoned was anything but pretty.

Lori looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean "ugly"?"

"Luna?" Sam said awkwardly. "I do think of you as my friend. You're my best friend. I do care about you a lot, but….but not….not in that way? I just….don't roll like that?" she fumbled over her words, clearly caught off guard and unprepared for whatever conversations they just had.

"Luna, why would you even think that I-"

"Oh, hey, guys!" Leni cut in. "Luna! We just agreed for another sibling duel! Won't that be fun?"

"Sibling…what?" Sam glanced down and realized, to her visible discomfort, that the house was full.

She turned back to her friend with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Luna, but I gotta go. We'll talk about this later."

Without another word, Sam ran down the stairs as quickly as she could. Lynn jumped out of the way as the rocker zapped past her.

"What's their deal?" Lola wondered, genuinely confused, but the moment she and others looked back at Luna, she had vanished and they heard a door slam.


"Luna! Luna! Please open up!" Lincoln kept banging on her door but to no avail.

"Please, I just want to talk with you!"

Him, Lynn and Ryan knew exactly what had happened between Luna and Sam, and the result had been inevitable but Luna had apparently been none the wiser.

"Something occurred to me?" Ryan mused and rubbed his chin. "Not like I'm some kind of expert on this topic? But did Moon Girl even think about if Sam was…..eh…into girls? She clearly was going steady with that guy?"

"You're not helping, Ryan." Lincoln glared at him.

"I'm just saying? Wouldn't your sister have known this, if they are best friends and all?" Ryan shrugged. His tone wasn't actually condescending, but rather just idly curious. "Or did she just make an entitled assumption without thinking about Sam?"

Lincoln deflated, knowing that Ryan may very well have been on to something. Most of his sisters always had problems putting themselves in other people's shoes and thinking outside their own comfort bubble.

"Sounds like a plausibility to me?" Lucy replied, though she didn't fully grasp Luna's situation. She didn't care much about romance to begin with and considered the concept of a boy and girl kissing to be icky. A girl doing it with another girl felt no different to her, outside going against the basics of her admittedly very limited knowledge of romance. Could a boy also have a crush on another boy?

"Lincoln, let's just leave her alone." Lynn said tiredly. "We have bigger fish to fry."

Lincoln knew she was right. "But it just doesn't feel right leaving her like this-"

"Lincoln? Can a boy also have a crush on another boy?" Lucy asked him out of nowhere. "I don't want to know the details, just a simple "yes" or "no" will suffice."

Lincoln groaned tiredly. "Yes, Lucy, they can. You know about Clyde's dads already."

"Oh…." Lucy realized, but that answer stirred another question. "Is Clyde also crushing on you?"

Lincoln gave her an awkward look. "Eh, no, Lucy. He does not…"

"I just thought that might explain his obsession with you?" Lucy shrugged.

Ryan snickered. "Very deductive, Spooky?"

"No, no, he does not." Lincoln replied. "I've seen him crushing on a lot of girls at school."

Ryan frowned with disappointment, since Lincoln's reserved and non-defensive response implied sincerity.

"But he might as well try "experimenting"?" Ryan snarked. "Doubt he'll have much luck with those chicks."

"We're getting off-topic!" Lynn barked impatiently and squeezed Lincoln by the arm. "Come on, bro. We have more important issues than Luna's lesbo angst."

Lincoln gave in and let her drag him back to her room, knowing she was right. Lucy followed them but Ryan took a moment to smile at the camera and held up a CD showing the band Simple Plan and titled "Untitled".

"Hey, Moon Girl? Just so you know there are no hard feelings between us!" he slid the CD under the door before following the others. "This will help you cope with your pain."

"Now? Can someone please explain to me what this "sibling duel" is?" Ryan caught up with the others. "Or is this another secret an outsider like me cannot-"

"It's exactly what you think it is, Ryan." Lincoln told him as the four stood in a circle inside Lynn's room. "A duel between siblings to settle a disagreement, though they can pick a team for themselves and it seems Lynn and Lori already agreed to it."

"And the losers will have to act as servants to the winners for 24 hours." Lucy said crossly. "Thanks a lot for dragging me and Lincoln into it, Lynn."

"It was a knee-jerk reaction, I had to do something?" Lynn retorted defensively. "They were ready to fly the coop!"

She then shifted her accusing glare at Lincoln. "I wouldn't have had to resort to that if Mr. Honor and Virtue hadn't guilt-tripped us into not simply forcing Luna into being our mole!"

"Now you're talking." Ryan smirked with satisfaction.

"You're blaming me?" Lincoln argued. "What you were going to do was wrong and I had to stop you."

"I know!" Lynn threw her arms up. "And now we're having a sibling duel. Happy?"

"I'm certainly not." Lucy said sullenly.

A knock on the door put the kibosh on Lynn and Lincoln's argument.

"Can I come in?" Lana opened the door, her tone meek.

Lynn pinched the bridge of her nose. "Lana, we're in the middle of something."

Lana's features hardened and she stepped in anyway. "Then I have the right to be here. I'm your sister and this is my room too!"

Lynn gave in. Both her and Lincoln knew that there wasn't much point in arguing amongst themselves. They had made their bed already, now they had to sleep in it.

"What is it, Lana?" the jock asked peevishly. "Make it snappy!"

"Lynn, this is important." Lana scowled at her. "You need to hear this, all of you do."

"Alright…" Lynn exhaled "….what is it?"


By the time Lana had finished her story, Lincoln was twitching uncontrollably, clenching his teeth and pulling on his white hair. Ryan had a similar reaction, except that he was chewing on his hat.

Lucy was more reserved. "Irony is a cruel mistress." She recited to herself.

Lynn was doing her best to remain calm as Lana wrapped up her story.

"And that's why I came back home. I was so confused, I didn't know what to do." The 5-year-old admitted sullenly, gazing at the floor. "I didn't want to go back on my promise to you, but Lori scared me, made me think awful things would happen to my friends if I didn't go along with Kathleen's plan."

She finally glanced up to meet her older sister eye to eye, whose expression was unreadable, at least to Lana. To anyone else, the twitchy eyes and flared nostrils were quite obvious.

Lana was afraid that Lynn would be mad at her, for lying to her and going behind her back. Though that was far from the actual reason behind Lynn's constipated expression.

Lana grabbed her hand. "I'm sorry, Lynn. Please don't be mad at me. I didn't' know what to do?"

"Lana…that's…that's awful." Lynn finally spoke.

Hearing that, a single tear dropped Lana's cheek. "I'm sorry, Lynn, I didn't mean to…" she was on the verge of crying and Lynn finally noticed it.

"No. I mean what Lori and Kathleen tried to do is awful." She clarified. "I'm not mad at you, squirt."

Lana was relieved. "Really?"

"Yeah…" Lynn nodded, being relieved herself by her little sister's final choice. "It's just…"

Lana's small smile faltered, but then she heard Lucy, of all people, speak on her behalf.

"You were heading down the wrong path, but you turned back before it was too late." The goth said sagely, her tone still monotonous. "You were staring down the rabbit hole but didn't jump. If you did there would be no return."

Upon the blonde's confused reaction, Lucy reiterated. "Sigh. I mean you did the right thing. And…..and I admire that."

"Eh…thanks, Lucy."

"The Duchess of Darkness is right." Lynn concurred. "I…I was mad hearing about what you were up to, but you made the right choice in the end, before you screwed up royally. I…I can see my advice stuck with you."

Lana smiled at her, but her lips trembled. "Lynn?" she asked innocently. "You…you won't let mom and dad take my pets away, would ya?"

"Lana…" Lincoln finally composed himself enough to speak. "That would never happen. Mom and dad would never do something that cruel."

"But Lori said-"

"Lori was lying to you." Lynn told her firmly.

"Yes, she was." Lincoln put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "That's not the point of punishment. I know you're young and don't fully understand it, but punishment is meant to teach you a lesson. That callous actions have consequences. But it's not meant to cause you pain. Taking away your pets forever wouldn't be punishment, it would be abuse and mom and dad love you too much to ever do anything that cruel or permanent."

"Yes, they know how much your pets mean to you." Lynn elaborated. "They know that taking them away would be the ultimate blow to you, one you would never recover from and you would hate them for it. As Linc said, they love you too much to do it. Not to mention, owning pets is not bad behavior, you can be well-behaved and still own lizards, and snakes, and frogs and such as pets. Those things ain't mutually exclusive."

Tears poured down Lana's face again, but they were happy tears. There was a sincerity to their words that couldn't be denied, as was their rationale. He mom and dad wouldn't love her if they did something like taking away her pets, and she knew this wasn't true, even if they were acting crabby as of late.

"Blondy was just using your worst fear to make you obedient." Ryan told her with disdain, though it obviously wasn't aimed at her. "She knew what your greatest fear is, so she fed you a load of bullcrap to make sure you would follow her orders."

"Thanks, guys…" Lana said meekly. "Gosh, I feel like such a doofus…"

"Don't, Lana. Lori knows how to manipulate people…" Lynn told her reassuringly.

"And Kathleen? It was her plan that we go into hiding and make mom and dad think we've gone missing." The tomboy asked. "Lori claimed that we had good reason to do it, but I dunno, something about it felt fishy to me…."

"That's because it's not right, Lana, not by a long shot." Lincoln told her. "What Kathleen suggested is one of the most….most awful ways to deal with a problem. You were right in thinking that mom and dad would be stricken with grief, any parent who gives a damn about their kids would be."

"And if you had any doubts that Kathleen was a bitch with a capital B, that's your proof right there." Lynn said sardonically.

"What about the sibling duel? I wanna be on your team!" Lana said with fierce bravado. "I know Ryan can't be on it and it's the least I can do."

Lincoln and Lynn exchanged looks and made a mutual decision.

"No, Lana." Lincoln shook his head. "We need you to tell mom and dad about our sisters' plan, so we can't risk you getting entangled in sibling politics."

"But I wanna help!"

"He's right, Lana." Lynn agreed. "Better for you to stay neutral, or at least pretend to be."

"In that case, may I be of assistance…" a familiar lispy voice entered the conversation.

The others saw a sheepish Lisa standing and waving at the doorframe together with Fenton, who was noticeably missing an eye.

"What do you want, Lisa?" Lynn asked standoffishly. "And what were you doing?"

"We were not. Keeping you under surveillance." Fenton insisted, while his missing optic crawled along the wall with spider legs before jumping into his hand and he placed it back into his socket.

"Lisa, you're awake?" Lincoln said idly. "How much did you hear?"

"I heard about Lynn's impulsive decision to challenge Lori into a sibling duel." Lisa explained as she walked in. "I admittedly aren't very familiar with the rules of this family tradition, I am only three, but I have recently studied a copy of the treaty lent to me by Leni."

"There are rules and a treaty?" Ryan asked.

"Oh, yes, we all remember singing the treaty when I was three during that sacred siblings' meeting." Lucy explained, only adding to Ryan's confusion.

"You do remember one of the cardinal rules, Lynn, I assume?" Lisa told the jock. "There must be an even number of challenges, preferably four, and each team gets to handpick half of the challenges. I'm confident in my assumption regarding your choices, as we all presumably are, but Lori and her team will undoubtedly pick challenges that play into your weaknesses."

"What weaknesses?" Lynn asked crossly.

"Anything that doesn't involve athleticism?" Lisa shrugged. To Lynn's annoyance, everyone else mumbled in agreement.

Lynn narrowed her eyes. "What? You think one of Lori's challenges will be like a stinkin' quiz or something?"

"That would make too much sense." Lincoln nodded.

"Oh, yes. No offense, but we both know you don't do so hot with trivia." Ryan agreed.

"That's an understatement." Lucy nodded.

"And it's inevitable that Lori will not involve trivia related to sports should she choose a quiz as one of her challenges." Lisa concurred while adjusting her glasses. "And that's just one of the possible ways she could exploit your weakness with academics, as well as other potential weaknesses."

Seething, Lynn crossed her arms in annoyance. "Alright, egghead. You can be on the team, but only in case we really need your big brain." She said while holding a finger up.

"Linc, I guess you'll be our choice if the challenge depends on ingenuity but is light on the heavy lifting or endurance."

"Fair enough." Lincoln nodded.

"And Lucy?" Lynn smirked. "You can be our cheerleader or something. Doubt any challenge will involve poetry."

Lucy frowned and crossed her arms.

"Just one question?" Lynn turned back to Lisa.

"Yes?"

"Why are you so eager to help?"

"I helped you last night without any requests for compensation, why do you ask?"

"Yeah, but we asked you for help that time." Lynn reminded her, being careful with her choice of words, since Lana was present. She had secretly told her about One Eye, but only about their first encounter.

"Master Lisa wishes. For you to remember. Her fondly. Once-"

Lisa coughed "Rapshutyourt…", which was code for "Shut your trap"

"Correction. I mean…." Fenton's head rotated 360 degrees before popping up on a spring while he rambled "Dum, Dum, Dum, Diddly-Dum Dilly-Dum Dilly-Du…"

The others looked on unnerved as he screwed his head back into place.

"Apologies. It seems I'm suffering. From malfunctions. Commence internal repairs." Fenton said, before his eyes went blank, though he was just faking it.

"Exactly. So please pay no mind to his inane ramblings." Lisa insisted.

"Yeah, okay, before Felton finally snaps and tries to kill us all, can I ask what my role in this game will be?" Ryan asked.

"None. As Lori said, you're not part of the family and only Loud siblings can compete." Lincoln told him.

"I know that, but I can always help out without participating in the games." Ryan pointed out. "Like helping you out from the shadows. Rig up things in your favor."

"No way, Jose." Lynn scowled, looking downright offended. "I never cheat in a game! Only cowardly losers with no skills resort to cheating."

Ryan smirked. "Your sportsmanship is admirable, but as you yourself said, "cowardly losers with no skills" tend to cheat."

Lincoln sighed despondently. "Which means Lori will likely cheat? I wouldn't put it past her."

"Is there even a debate?" Lucy asked.

"Ugh…alright." Lynn reluctantly gave in. "You do as you see fit, but ONLY if the other team does resort to cheating. I'm not sacrificing my principles."

"Unless we need it to even the odds." Ryan replied. "But fair enough."

As they continued talking about their plans, Lisa silently mapped out her own plans for the following few days. The repurposing of her translation helmet was nearly complete and she had calculated that it would be operational by tomorrow night at the latest, allowing her to do what was needed. But this unexpected wrinkle in her plan would necessitate postponing "Operation: Brain Drain" for the next 15 hours or so.

At least she would go out using her dangerously high IQ for something beneficial to her family.

"Hey! Anyone in there!" Ryan's voice snapped her out of her thoughts and she realized that everyone was looking at her.

"Pardon?" she blurted.

"Why were you spacing out?" Lynn asked.

"Eh…I was contemplating about unrelated matters that don't concern you." Lisa answered, before realizing her answer was too suspicious, so she added. "About algebra."

Ryan rolled his eyes. "If you're done solving 9th-grade math equations in your head, may I have your permission to use your creeper bot for my task?"

"I could really use his "spy eye" for the job." He said while prying the eyelids of his right eye open.

"Eh, sure." Lisa answered simply. They had survived her lending Fenton to Renee, so him being in Ryan's possession couldn't possibly be worse.

"There you are?" Luan suddenly appeared at the doorway, holding a bunch of papers. "Are we having a meeting?"

She stopped upon noticing that Lana was among them, but before she could comment, Lucy ran up to her.

"Where were you? I've been trying to call you?"

The comedian's brow furrowed. "Oh…that? I was-"

"Cut the crap, we know what you've been up to." Lynn huffed disdainfully. "Lana told us everything."

Luan wilted, knowing she had been ousted. "That? I wasn't part of it, really."

"I know. You bailed on it." Lucy said reassuringly, but Lynn scoffed.

"Yeah, right. Lana over there bailed because she realized her mistake. Funny Pants, on the other hand, just bailed because Kathleen was involved."

"Lynn, let's not start arguments over petty things again." Lincoln told her evenly. "You know Luan was very reluctant about it to begin with."

Luan blinked, to which Lucy quelled her confusion. "Me and Lincoln were spying on your first meeting, then Lori found out and locked us in the basement."

"Wait, Lori did what?" Luan blurted before a look of anger washed over her features.

"I also saw you defending me from her insults." The goth smiled.

"Ugh! I knew she was using me." Luan ranted. "She never gave a crap about us, just about her own stupid privileges!"

"Luan, just where have you been all this time?" Lincoln walked up to her. "Lana says you ran off in a huff?"

"Yeah, I did…" the flustered comedian admitted. "I was really pissed, didn't really think about where I was going. I guess I just wanted to be left alone to vent."

"A.k.a going off to sulk. Called it!" Lynn snorted at Lucy, much to Luan's chagrin.

"At least I wasn't locking up little kids to cover my tracks, like Lori did." Luan sneered. "Though I guess you would never do something like that, right?"

Being reminded of that, Lynn blushed and shrank sheepishly.

"Actually….I found one of these." Luan showed them a flyer advertising a camp.

"A clown camp?" an amused Ryan walked up and grabbed it. "They really make a camp for everything these days?"

"Yeah, I stumbled upon it and I found it very intriguing."

"Figures." Lynn snarked under her breath.

"So I looked it up some more and got these brochures too." Luan held up three brochures like a stack of cards.

"So you want to enroll yourself in that camp?" Lisa asked. "I take no pleasure in dampening your enthusiasm, but I don't think mother and father will be in a very charitable mood any time soon. And summer camps cost money."

Luan's smile faltered but then Lincoln said, "I'm not sure, Lisa." He pondered while looking over the flyer. "I think they would love the chance to have some time to themselves, maybe that would convince them to let us go to summer camps? Some of us have been thinking about the same thing."

"You got a point, Linc." Lynn shrugged. "And if there's any place tailor-made for Luan to spend her summer at, it's…" she sniggered at the absurdity of the idea …"clown camp."

"I'm sure if we let them cool off for a day or two, they'll likely consider it, especially dad." Lincoln told Luan. "He always did love summer camps."

"And if they don't have enough money, we can always have Blondy chime in." Ryan shrugged before shocking everyone by holding up another, more fancy-looking wallet.

Lincoln's jaw dropped. "You didn't?"

"Oh, I did. I snatched this beauty from her pocket while she was gawking at Sam and Luna." Ryan explained as he looked through its content. "Looks like Kathy gave the Vice Queen of Mean her monthly allowance."

He tossed the wallet to Luan and she saw that it contained 3 hundred-dollar bills.

Luan was beside herself, but so was Lynn, dumbfounded that Ryan gave Luan his ill-gotten loot.

"Ryan? You…you shouldn't have?" she grew teary-eyed. She moved in to hug him but Ryan stepped back and gently kept her at arm's length.

"Let's not get too mushy, Lu. Think nothing of it. I'm not much of a materialistic guy." Ryan insisted. "Me and Lynn get all the fun we need through just a few sports accessories, and she has them in droves."

Lynn folded her arms and pouted.

"You do know you stole that money?" Lincoln glared at him.

"Oh, cool down." Ryan smirked. "It's still Kathy's money, remember? Stealing a few hundred bucks from her is like taking a penny from your piggy bank, Lincoln. A very old, fungus-infested penny that is part of an obsolete currency."

Lincoln facepalmed and exhaled. Why did he even bother?

"So, would you like to come too?" Luan asked Ryan eagerly. "I mean, I'm sure you'd like it? We both love comedy!"

Growing nervous and seeing Lynn's enraged expression, Ryan politely declined. "Eh, no thanks. Not my cup of tea. I prefer regular stand-up over face-paint and undersized cars."

Luan pouted with disappointment, while Ryan gestured at Lincoln. "Though he might be interested? He already has a persona, Lincaroonie the Looney!"

"What now?" Luan made a face.

"Long story." Lincoln sighed. "I'll explain later."


Later that night…

"So those are your two challenges?" Ryan asked. He, Lynn and Lincoln were sitting on the couch in the former's living room, discussing how to defeat Lori's team the next day.

They and Lana had told Albert about what the other sisters were up to and he was unsurprisingly outraged, but quickly found himself in a corner after learning that they had challenged the others to a sibling duel. "My hands are tied" he said, but he did promise to watch over their home while they were away. They hadn't told Lynn Sr. about what was going on with Kathleen, figuring they were better off not freaking him out, at least until after the challenge was over, as he was already busy trying to think of something special that he could do for his wife to lift her spirit after the carjacking.

"And what do you have against them?" Lynn asked.

"I dunno, guess I thought you would do something…" Ryan leaned into the couch "….something less predictable?"

"Predictable is good." Lincoln told him. "That way you can predict how things will turn out."

"Exactly." Lynn argued. "And I'm a pro at those things, none of my siblings can measure up in those categories."

"Fair point." Ryan shrugged. "I guess it will be funny seeing Blondy having to go through that first one."

"Though I would prefer to plan things out better." Lincoln told them.

"Lincoln…" Lynn rolled her eyes. "You can't "make plans" for these kinds of things, because you never know what your opponents will have in store for you and trying to guess every possible tactic of theirs is just going to burn you out mentally." She tapped her head.

"All you can do is be on the top of your game and CRUSH them into toothpaste." Lynn emphasized by smashing her fist into her palm.

"Plus, those idiots have no idea what I'll have in store for them." Ryan smiled devilishly and gestured at himself.

"Only if they cheat." Lynn reminded him pointedly.

"They will cheat." Lincoln said cynically.

"Words." Ryan gave him a thumbs up.

"Your sister is still catatonic." He jumped as Lucy appeared next to him.

Clutching his chest, Ryan let out a bitter chuckle. "What else is new?"

"Well, Marceline is currently using her face as a pillow and is sharpening her claws on it, but Renee still doesn't respond?"

Ryan looked unnerved for a second before brushing it off. "Eh, she'll get over it. The lack of oxygen is bound to stir her out of her funk."

"So what do we do now?" Lucy asked.

Lincoln yawned and stretched his arms. "Sleep. We haven't had any in a while."

"Yeah, I could do with that." Lynn agreed while rubbing her eyes, her burnout from not sleeping in over 24 hours was seriously starting to sting now.

It was not even 9 p. m yet, but the three older kids all felt like hitting the sack and not getting up for the next twelve hours.

"Finally." Ryan rolled his eyes. "You know I have been pretending not to be sleepy all this time because I didn't want to come off as the weakling."

"And what about me?" Lucy asked him. "I'm not tired?"

"Eh, you can use the tv all night long, Lucy." Ryan shrugged and gave her the remote. "Not like anyone else will notice."

The Loud siblings remembered how they had this whole house to themselves. Renee was still catatonic and her and Ryan's parents were still away on their respective business trips indefinitely. Lynn and Lincoln both felt shitty for not being able to make use of that privilege, but they were so tired, they simply couldn't stay up much longer. The mental pain was really starting to fester.

"Fine by me." Lucy smiled and turned on the tv. "Vampires of Melancholia should be airing right-"

"..and there were no survivors." The kids all groaned as they tuned in on the evening news with Katherine Mulligan.

"And in other news…" Mulligan paused and scrutinized the paper she was holding "….seriously, people care about this?" she tapped her earpiece.

"They do?" Mulligan rolled her eyes "Slow news days. Alright…" she forced a cough.

"Change the channel." Ryan told the goth, but then the obnoxious reporter said something that caught their attention.

"In other news, a wolf was found dead near Bearpaw Hill."

Hearing that, all four were suddenly listening to the report attentively. Ryan in particular slowly grew a smile, as the realization hit him.

"A large male in the prime of his life, found dead near the road adjacent to the hill. Wildlife officials believe the cause of death to be the result of poisoning, presumably the work of a poacher or a rancher who lost livestock…" the report was accompanied by footage showing wildlife officials moving the lupine's corpse out of the back of a truck, which was covered by a blanket, with only its stiffened front paws visible.

"Seriously now?" Mulligan looked aside, her tone growing increasingly volatile. "That's what counts as "breaking news"? What's next, some kid got his kitty run over and is crying about it? I'm too good for this-"

The broadcast abruptly ended with a "Technical Difficulties" disclaimer.

"Yes! Hell yeah! Oh yeah, baby!" Ryan jumped up and pumped his fists. "My plan worked! It worked like a charm!"

Lucy watched her siblings' excited reactions.

"Finally! That cur is a goner once more!" Lynn cheered.

"He's gone?" Lincoln said simply, with a small but sincere smile. He sounded like a huge burden had been lifted off his shoulder, while Lynn and Ryan were was less restrained.

"Ryan, you maniac! Your crazy plan worked!" Lynn hugged him with one arm.

"Of course it did!" he laughed. "I told you I knew what I was doing!"

Lucy felt grossly left out and silently sighed.

"What you were doing?" Lynn scoffed in good humor. "I believe you had help?"

"Of course I had help. I'll thank Lizzie for the assist." Ryan smirked smugly. "I ain't that self-absorbed."

A second after Lynn scowled at him, he playfully slapped her shoulder. "Just kidding! I couldn't have done it without you guys. You included." He pointed at Lincoln.

"Eh…thanks." Lincoln said awkwardly. "Well, it was your plan. It was insanely risky, but I guess risks sometimes do pay off."

"Alright, let's not get too sentimental." Ryan rolled his eyes as he scooted in-between the siblings and wrapped an arm around both of them, pulling them closer.

"What matters is that we've disposed of ol' Fang Face, once and for all. He won't be snacking on kids anymore, but more importantly, he'll never bother us ever again. Bye-bye, One Eye!"

"Yeah, and no one will ever know or thank us for risking our asses doing a public service." Lynn joked.

"Again." Ryan snarked, remembering the flue-zombie incident.

"Virtue is its own reward." Lincoln told them. "Doing a good thing always matters, no matter if you get recognition for it."

"Yeah, yeah, I've gotten used to it." Lynn scoffed as Ryan let them go. It was such a dorky thing to say, but that was in-character for her little brother.

"I know you think that what I said was really hokey." Her brother told her, in rare bit of levity.

"Linc, we are celebrating a great victory." Lynn playfully punched him in the arm. "Don't you dare spoil it."

Rubbing his arms, Lincoln rolled his eyes before noticing Lucy watching them from the side and his happy mood soured a bit. The others noticed her too.

"Oh, I know that look?" Ryan chuckled awkwardly. "You are feeling left out again?"

"Sigh. I shouldn't feel disappointed." Lucy said. "You've vanquished your greatest enemy, I just wish I was there."

"Lucy, I told you. There was nothing glamorous about it." Lincoln got up and put his hand on her shoulder. "This was dangerous."

"And besides." Ryan added. "Who cares how we did it? You and every other ankle-bitter in town should be happy that you can grow up in a world where there is no Big Bad Wolf lurking at the fringes of society, just waiting to gobble you up."

"Yeah, I guess it is a good thing." Lucy looked aside. "Congratulations, guys."

Lincoln grew a lopsided smile. He was confident that Lucy would forget about it. Hopefully. He himself couldn't wait to forget about the damn wolf as soon as possible. First Lyle, now One Eye, perhaps things would get better from now on?

"That's being a good sport." Lynn said halfheartedly, for once trying to be nice to the goth.

"Ah, the only thing I regret is not getting his hide and draping it next to my fireplace." Ryan said wistfully, earning odd looks from the others.

"Yeah, yeah, I know I don't have a fireplace, but I still could have used a new floor rug."

"You are such a weirdo." Lynn scoffed light-heartedly.

"For wanting a piece of the beast that I slew as a token?" Ryan scoffed back. "I don't think I'm the weirdo here."


Meanwhile, at Tisdale Mansion….

Those ninja boys hadn't grabbed her? At least not yet. Jenny knew she shouldn't have been too hopeful, but part of her rationalized that she was in no real danger. Kathleen had made so much progress these past few weeks, maybe her old self, or at least her worst qualities were indeed a thing of the past?

Tentatively, she opened the door at the end of the hallway of the third floor. Sure enough, she found Kathleen sitting at the desk of her father's old study, which he hadn't visited since his daughter was in kindergarten, leaving it for her to occupy at her whim. She was writing something in a notebook, and Amber was standing by her side.

"You're here." Kathleen said impassively, without looking and closed the book. "I was expecting you to return a lot sooner."

"Jenny, you okay? You look awful?" Amber noticed.

Jenny realized that she hadn't cleaned herself up or did her hair, since she was too preoccupied calming herself down and digesting the fact that she had been kidnapped by unknown assailants and interrogated at knifepoint. She had debated telling her friends about it, at least Amber, but remembered the ninjas' threat to well, and Jenny knew from years of experience that it was always the right choice to bow down and listen to whoever held power over you. Free thinking was very counter-productive and even dangerous.

She walked in and closed the door, fiddling with her fingers and avoided looking Kathleen directly in the eye.

"Where have you been?" Kathleen asked, as she walked around the desk and approached Jenny, her expression unreadable.

"Eh, I…I got distracted?" Jenny gulped. "It's just….I got roped up in family matters, lost track of time?"

"Family matters?" Kathleen raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, it's okay." Amber smiled. "Her sisters didn't stick around for long either, not even Lola."

"Yes, I was quite disappointed." Kathleen frowned. "You told us you would talk with Luan? She never did return, so I can only assume you failed to persuade her?"

"Well…yeah.." Jenny finally admitted. "She was harder to convince than I thought?"

Kathleen was silent for a moment before growing a relaxed smile and shaking her head, humming a small chuckle, which made Jenny ease up a bit.

"You're not mad?"

"Oh, no. I'm not mad." Kathleen said nonchalantly.

Maybe she had been worried over nothing? Jenny chuckled with relief. "Well that's cool, I was only-"

She had not time to react, for it happened so fast, as Kathleen's fist connected with Jenny's nose.

Amber gasped and Jenny's body slammed against the door before she slumped to the ground. She instinctively clutched her nose and felt warm blood on her palms. The searing pain she felt crushed any hope she had felt just a second ago.

"I'M FURIOUS!" Kathleen screamed, her voice echoing through the room, before advancing at Jenny, her chest growing and deflating rapidly, her nostrils flared and her eyes bulging with inhuman rage.

""I will get her back!" Those were your EXACT words!" Kathleen yelled, towering over Jenny, the veins in her eyes pulsating and her teeth clenched into a feral snarl.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I really did try, but she wouldn't listen!" Jenny cried.

"LIAR!" Kathleen screamed and leaned closer, making Jenny flinch. "I had an offer she couldn't possibly have refused! I busted my hump getting in contact with the dean of the only goddamn clown college in this country and you couldn't even hold on to her long enough to tell her about it?!"

"No! I did tell her, but she didn't believe me!" Jenny explained. "She thought it was all fake! She probably thought you made it-"

She yelped as Kathleen hoisted her up by the helm of her "Teens of Tomorrow" shirt, making her stand up on her knees. Kathleen loomed over her, her face cast in shadows and her eyes piercing. Jenny could practically see the flames in them.

"So you're blaming ME for this!"

"No! No! That's not what I was implying…" Jenny whimpered.

"Kathleen, calm down, it's…it's not a big deal?" Amber gingerly touched her arm, but knew better than to tug it. "Remember your anger management class?"

Kathleen turned to her, and the blonde paled with fright, as those vicious, rage-filled eyes were now directed at her.

"Y-your pills?" she hastily grabbed a small bottle of pills form the desk. "Maybe they will help-ah!"

Amber flinched and closed her eyes as Kathleen snatched the bottle from her hand, grabbed a nearby glass of water and scarfed down half a dozen pills.

Jenny and Amber saw her stand still for a moment before shuddering, "Oh, that hits the spot…"

Sighing and cracking her neck, Kathleen turned her focus back to Jenny, the pills taking a clear effect on her, quelling her mood from unstoppable fury to just regular anger.

She raised her hand again and Jenny shut her eyes in terror, but this time she just received a backhanded slap, which she had grown used to and wouldn't have minded too much, were it not for the bridge of her nose being shattered.

"Ah!" she cried and her eyes teared up.

"Quit your incessant whining, you useless imbecile!" Kathleen snarled at her, which did the job. Jenny didn't dare make another peep.

"I hope you are aware just how much pain you are causing me!"

Kathleen shook the pill bottle in front of her. "See this? I'm already overdosing on this crap, having to put up with all those charity events, all those annoying brats and old farts, Mulligan, daddy, not to mention Luan's freakshow of a family and her insufferable boyfriend! The last thing I need is your incompetence driving me into a coma!"

"I'm sorry! I'll do better next time, I swear!" Jenny cried, but was only met with a cruel, humorless laugh.

"Don't make promises you cannot keep." Kathleen warned her and straightened herself up. "Maybe it would be beneficial to my health if I just dumped you two nimrods? I'm sure Stacey and Zoey will be all too eager to take your place."

"No, please, Kathleen! Have mercy!" Amber dropped on her knees and groveled. "Those two are total amateurs! Zoey can't even do a proper high-V!"

She got backhanded as well.

"Shut your trap!" Kathleen hissed. "Your shrill voice is giving me a headache!"

"But….but I've been practicing to make it less shrill?" Amber whimpered while nursing her reddening cheek, but was ignored.

Kathleen turned back at Jenny. "As for you, you bumbling, ungrateful slacker! Don't you ever forget that you owe everything you have to me!"

"I know! I'd never forget that." Jenny shook her head.

"Of course you wouldn't!" Kathleen barked. "Because no one would want anything to do with a fat! Ugly! Talentless! Incompetent! Fashion-deprived bitch with zero wits or charisma like you! The cheerleading squad wouldn't come near you, no boy would ever give you even a first glance, no one at school would give a shit about you if it weren't for me!"

She pointed at herself. "You wouldn't be worth dirt without me! Don't you ever take that for granted! I made you, and that idiot over there!" she pointed at Amber, making her shrink.

"So excuse me for expecting just a little appreciation in the form of basic competence for even paying attention to you two rejects!"

"I understand!" Jenny pleaded. "I always appreciate you! Not a day goes by where I'm not grateful for being blessed with you as a friend!"

Kathleen was unmoved, but she did calm down enough to cease her rant. "Then try showing it better once in a while! For starters, think of a reason for how you broke your overgrown honker, the one you made me break."

"There was an accident during cheerleading practice! Those happen all the time because I'm clumsy." Jenny replied hastily. That was pretty much their go-to cover story whenever she or Amber was too close to Kathleen when she flew off the handle.

"Good. So you can teach a retard a few tricks after all?" A pleased Kathleen smiled.

She turned around and paced, or rather stormed past Amber.

"It was all going so well! I had them right where I wanted! I almost had Luan too, if it weren't for your incompetence, Jenny!"

She slammed one hand into the desk, making her two cohorts flinch. "Do you have any idea how much willpower I had to exercise just to put up with that pack of freaks! It's driving me over the edge!"

She grabbed her (rather thick) notebook and shook it. "See this? These are all the insults I had in store for that Ryan Taylor the moment I laid eyes on his hideous mug, and I couldn't use any of them!"

"All that money, all those hours of my life that I can never get back! Wasted on those disgusting degenerates!"

"I don't think all of them were so bad?" Amber shrugged innocently. "I kinda like Leni?"

"Of course you do!" Kathleen laughed cruelly. "You're both airheads who are destined to drown in their own drool! A match made in heaven!"

Amber whimpered shamefully while Jenny got back onto her feet.

"I know it must bite?" Jenny started, still clutching her nose with one hand. "But you're smart, you always know how to get to people through….subtler, more insidious means? Isn't that the mark of true brilliance?

Kathleen could see her blatant attempt at flattery, but after all the hell she went through, especially this week, she was happy to take it. Not like what Jenny was saying wasn't 100% true and she had preached the same thing to Lola just the previous day.

"I suppose you're right." She rubbed her chin as she reminisced wistfully. "Ryan's reaction when his sister fell out of the window was so cathartic, and the best part? That malformed moron had no clue that I'm the one who pushed that skateboard towards his sister."


"Let her go, you…you tyrant! You can't do this to her!"

"Watch me!"

Lola attacked the dowdy, personality-deprived teacher's pet, forcing her to let go of Kathleen's ear, allowing her motor function to kick back into gear.

"Get off me!" Renee roared. Everyone gawked at the show, Ryan stopped Lincoln from interfering.

The gears in her head moving, Kathleen surveyed her surroundings and saw the skateboard.

"You're dead!" Lola bravely evaded the tyrant and grabbed a hairdryer as a weapon.

With everyone's gaze focused on her and Renee, Kathleen, knowing what was going to happen, smiled evilly and placed her foot onto the skateboard.

As the blinded Renee cried and stumbled back, Renee shoved the skateboard under her foot and within seconds, the former fell through the second-story window.

What a pity that the fall wasn't fatal.


Kathleen let out a wicked chuckle. The memory really did fill her with much-needed joy.

"That was so delightfully devious of me. Too bad that house wasn't a few stories higher. Not like anyone would miss that wretch, plus having to put his sister six feet under would have surely chipped Ryan's attitude."

Amber and Jenny looked at each other unnerved.

"Though it did give me the chance to play hero and endear myself to Lola. The best part, the only good part of yesterday's work was getting to spend time with her. She made the experience almost bearable."

Kathleen sighed. "I can't believe that kid was birthed from the same parents as Luan Loud, she is so strong, so determined, so clever, so uncompromised and unabashed in flaunting her obvious qualities, she was born to be upper crust, not caring that those miserable neanderthals will be envious of her for being who she is. I can relate."

"Yeah…" Jenny started awkwardly "…..she does bear a certain likeness to you, I guess?"

"Not quite." Kathleen smirked. "She is a bit….on the temperamental side, but not like I can fault her. I'd be cranky too if I had to live with a family like hers, those Louds would drive anyone nuts. Frankly, she's too good for them."

"Maybe you can buy her away from them?" Amber innocently suggested.

Kathleen glared at her. "That's not how it works, you idiot."

Amber stepped back bashfully and Kathleen narrowed her eyes at her and Jenny. She really was getting tired of looking at them.

"You are dismissed." She said. "I'd prefer to preserve what little sanity I have left by not having to put up with your idiocy, so begone! Don't come near me unless I request it."

"Yes, Kathleen." Jenny nodded obediently. "Understood, Kathleen."

"Come one, Amber." She grabbed her friend by the arm, opened the door and they made a hasty exit.

"I really should cut them out…." Kathleen grumbled to herself as she sat back behind her desk. "They are tainting my image."

Though she didn't dwell on that issue for long, since she got caught up thinking about how to get herself out of her predicament. She needed to try out a new strategy. She was almost there and yet she couldn't overcome these last few hurdles. So close and yet so far.

Tapping her fingers against her desk, her eyes wandered over to a newspaper that was just lying there. Maybe it could give her some kind of inspiration? It was a long shot. She hated to admit it but she was running out of ideas.

Looking through the paper, she stumbled upon an article with a mugshot of a familiar face.

"Lyle Owen?" she looked at it, the name ringing a bell. Oh, right. He was that monobrowed imbecile with the hideous hairdo who was in class with her in elementary school? Not much going on in his head, but he had plenty of muscle. Kathleen wondered why she never hired that goon as muscle, he would have surely done it for twenty bucks?

Except he didn't have his hideous hair in the photo, a definitive improvement as far as Kathleen was concerned. Though his acne seemed worse than ever.

Reading his story, Kathleen couldn't help but chuckle. "What did that cretin get himself into?" Even she couldn't believe the story she was reading. Though perhaps she shouldn't have been too surprised. That idiot lacked the brains or the charisma to get away with his misdeeds, the same was true for most people.

Kathleen was ready to move on when she caught one strange paragraph.

"He seems to be suffering from amnesia, but he was rambling about wanting "the power back". Subsequently rambled about a tiny scientist giving him a strength-enhancing potion?"

Kathleen sneered. "Those roids sure took a toll on his pea brain." She laughed and was ready to move on, when she felt an itch in the back of her mind.

Something about this article seemed familiar? Though she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"And last night, some maniac with super strength kidnapped us!" she recalled Lola ranting.

She hadn't thought much about it then, but now, now that the Loud sisters have told her about little Lisa's unique gift and how she had, in fact, made a potion that healed all injuries or something? No…

"No way, it couldn't be connected?" Kathleen wondered, her curiosity piqued, but then she read the rest of the article.

"He also muttered the word "loud" over and over for no apparent reason?"

Kathleen's smile widened. "How very fascinating? I'm sure Lola will love to recount that story?"


Lynn stirred awake, her eyes slowly opening to find herself in a dimly lit room. Her memories came back and she saw that she had been lying on the floor in a sleeping sack. She heard soft snoring and found Lincoln, still sound asleep, next to her.

"Morning already?" Lynn mumbled and yawned before looking at the window and night sky, though the sun's rays were visibly seeping in from below. It was the wee hours.

Lynn got out of the sack, carefully stepped past her sleeping brother in the dim light and then stretched herself. It was time, a new day had begun and she knew what that entailed. She had little reason to go back to sleep now. Once she was awake, it would take all day for her to grow tired again and she was sure she had been out cold for at least nine hours.

She remembered where she was and looked at the bed, but saw no sign of Ryan. The bedsheet had been thrown off, half of it lying on the floor.

Lynn walked down the stairs and unsurprisingly, found Lucy asleep on the couch with the tv still on. She wondered where Ryan was and if he had gone off somewhere by himself? Maybe to plot a-"

"No…" she saw that the lights in the kitchen were on and sure enough, found him by the fridge, drinking from a can.

"Good morning, Freckles. Did we sleep well?" Ryan asked without turning around, as he leaned down to grab a second coke. "Think fast!"

He tossed one can at her and she caught it with ease. "You gotta try harder than that." She smirked confidently, popped the can and took a swig.

"Guess you're in tip-top shape?" He looked at her. "You'll need it."

"You might as well hit the hay again." Lynn approached him. "Knowing my sisters, we'll have at least until noon before all of them even get out of bed."

"In that case, just follow me." Ryan walked past her. Confused, Lynn followed him.

"Where are we going?"

"Don't you want to see the sunrise?" Ryan asked casually, as they went up the stairs. "This is the perfect opportunity."

"Sure." Lynn smiled, happy with the idea of sharing a moment with Ryan alone. No Lincoln. No Lucy. No annoying sisters. Just the two of them.

They found their way onto the roof and Ryan offered to hold her hand to make sure Lynn didn't slip. She rolled her eyes at the gratuitous chivalry but still took it. She felt fuzzy on the inside and very much liked the feeling.

Once seated, Lynn soaked in the great panoramic view from Ryan's house, seeing much of the suburban neighborhood, with forested hills in the distance, and beyond that were some distant mountains, with the early morning rays growing stronger behind them.

"Nice view." She admitted as the cool morning breeze hit her in the face. It was a familiar sensation, but one she usually associated with jogging or backyard exercise.

"You know you got us into quite a mess, don't you?" Ryan suddenly said, not so much in an accusatory tone, but a casual, matter-of-factly one.

"Yeah, I know…." Lynn sighed and looked aside. "It wasn't the brightest idea, but we were pressed for time."

"Eh, I don't blame ya for it." Ryan snarked. "I blame the pipsqueak. We had an easy win with Moon Girl, but he had to derail us with his freaking PC moralist crap."

Lynn could tell from his tone that he was still genuinely angry at Lincoln over it. He didn't have any actual stakes in this. Not like he was under threat of becoming a slave for 24 hours if they lost, but Lynn could guess why he was upset. Though not like Ryan would freely admit it.

"It's not his fault. We had a willing mole delivered to us on a silver plater." The girl pointed out. "If only I had listened to her and not been so impulsive." She sighed in annoyance. "Story of my life."

"Oh, yeah? I guess it is your fault after all. A double whammy screw-up." Ryan shrugged candidly. He wasn't surprised to receive a dirty glare in response.

"What? You were expecting me to tell you "Oh, no, Lynn. It was not your fault"?"

Lynn rolled her eyes and gave in. "Don't worry about it. I've led many teams to victory despite bleak odds. This game won't be any different." She told him with moderate confidence.

"Yeah, but I would have preferred not having to face any odds." Ryan replied sardonically. "There it was, a free ticket to easy street and we let it slip through our fingers."

"It's not all bad." Lynn pointed out. "Lana is still willing to spill the beans. Whatever happens tomorrow, at the end of the day, she will march up to mom and dad and tell them everything."

"And won't your sisters be pissed at her?"

"As if, not like mom and dad will tell anyone who the mole was." Lynn countered. "They know the game. It will all be handled in private. So in the end, our team will be basking in a double victory. Once Lori and her team become indebted to us, "the incident" will pretty much be taken care off."

"Yeah, if your team wins." Ryan countered. "But I guess even in the worst-case scenario, the bimbos will still lose."

"We will win, that is a promise." Lynn told him with utmost conviction. "When I set my eyes on the prize, nothing can stop me."

"Sure, but it doesn't hurt to be prepared." Ryan said smarmily.

"What are you plotting?" Lynn inquired with a smirk. She knew his "plotting" face.

"Well, in the case that Team Lynn does lose, there are still plenty of ways to screw your sisters over and keep them from spoiling everything. Incompetent servants can cause the whole house to collapse, if you'll pardon the expression."

"I get it. We're going to be the most incompetent and accident-prone servants ever, and our mishaps will cause our masters lots of pain." Lynn chuckled. "A cute backup plan, but it won't be necessary."

"If you say so…" Ryan didn't want to press on. With One Eye's termination, last night had been a time for celebration, regardless of what would happen the next day, and the next day was still at least 20 minutes away, as the sun was only starting to rise over the mountains.

"I know so."

"Alright…" Ryan gave in. "Can I just ask you something? If…eh… I mean when you win, can Luan join in on the fun of putting Blondy and her cohorts through slave labor?"

"Why?" Lynn raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I was just hoping that I, and Lucy, have some fun times with her before she departs for that clown camp. I'm sure she would be ecstatic."

"I thought you wanted to avoid her?" Lynn asked him.

"She'll be out of the picture soon enough." Ryan shrugged. "She's going to meet like-minded people at camp, that's for sure. Maybe even a boy who is even funnier and more charismatic than little ol' me. As unlikely as that it."

"Don't make me slug you." Lynn warned hi half-seriously, trying to hide her growing envy.

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger. We both know those are the qualities that got Luan enamored with me." Ryan smugly defended his assertion. "And don't act like you don't think the same."

"I do not think the same." Lynn retorted smartly, but it came out rather blustery.

She realized that and grew nervous, while Ryan sent her a knowing smirk.

"Oh, I know. Plenty of people think I'm just an annoying, tryhard smart alec." The boy elaborated. "Blondy, Pinky, the pipsqueak, I'm sure Moon Girl as well. That's why they don't want anything to do with me, or in the former two's case, why my presence incurs such naked hostility. But you, Lynn? If you thought the same, you would never have hung out with me in the first place."

Lynn shifted, her heart racing and her cheeks getting hotter.

"So?"

"So, I've told you why I like you, I didn't try to hide it. But are you ever going to admit what you like about me?" there was an undertone of seriousness to his voice, but it didn't last. "Or is this another double-standard that I just have to suck up and take?"

"Alright, alright…" Lynn gave in. "No need for guilt-tripping. I do think you're funny and charming….most of the time. You can be a major pain in the keister as well but….you're also fun to be around and I can always count on you."

"Aw…you can be really annoying too, Lynn. But I always look past that because you're just too cool and pretty to mind that." Ryan replied, with a mixture of snideness and sincerity only he could pull off.

Lynn's cheek turned red after hearing the p-word. She thought she would get used to him using it in relation to her, but it still packed a punch. She said nothing.

"What, no witty comeback?" Ryan joked, though in an uncharacteristically calm manner.

"What's there to say?" she said in a small voice. "I know my faults, I ain't denying them any longer. I know I can be pretty insufferable, especially when I'm focused on winning."

"You mean like making a big deal over winning a board game and twerking in front of your siblings?"

And there was the smartass she was looking for. Lynn rolled her eyes. "Yeah, like that. Well, would you look at that? We're having a sincere conversation, where both of us admit our faults."

She noticed the slightest bit of uncomfortableness in Ryan's features as he glanced slightly aside.

"Actually, I wanna keep it going. I want you tell me something, and be honest with me."

"What?"

"Why were you flirting with Luan? Actually, I know why. You find her funny and enjoy her crappy jokes, I for the life of me don't know why, but you do."

Ryan scratched his neck. "I thought we were done with that? It's just….I dunno…I thought I had a shot with her. You wanted to stay as friends and all…."

"Yeah, but not like that kept you from trying. Don't think I didn't notice what you were trying to do on the pier…or, at least I realized it eventually." Lynn countered. "You never gave up on it."

Finally, she had him in a corner. He just watched her, blinking but without a response.

"So what was the deal with Luan? You just figured it would never work out with me so you might as well….I dunno….broaden your options?"

Ryan exhaled. "Not like I had many options. Not for a guy who looks like me…" his voice dropped to a lower, more coarse tone. "Finding any girl who can not only see past my looks but also enjoy my presence, that was a one in a million chance as far as I'm concerned."

Lynn couldn't crack any jokes about that. He wasn't oblivious to his looks. She was kind of amazed she was though, often having to reminder herself of it. After spending so much time with him, she had become desensitized to his appearance, though having someone like Lucy as a roommate for years likely also helped her adjust.

"Well, now you have two. And you were fine letting them squabble over you." She pointed out, slight annoyance seeping into her voice.

Ryan chuckled lightly. "That was a one in a trillion chance, how could I not enjoy it, at least a little bit?"

His tone turned serious again. "But not like I don't have regrets. I really do like Luan…eh, as friend. Don't read too much into it, Lynn, I really do…..like you a lot, but at the same time, me and Luan are kinda….birds of a feather, we're both mavericks, who don't fit in with anyone and try to be funny all the time, no matter what other people think."

"Oh, didn't think about it that way…" Lynn glanced aside.

"But so are you and me." He smiled a bit. "We're both tough, scrappy and enjoy a good, adrenaline-pumping and physically torturous challenge. It's just that you're always obsessed with winning, while I just try to have fun."

"Alright, you got me there." Lynn shoulder-bumped him. "I guess both me and Luan are a bit cooky in different ways. Well, most of my siblings are as well. Except for Lincoln, now that he has sworn off reading in his birthday suit, he's a pretty normal dork."

"There's nothing wrong about being a bit off." Ryan shrugged. "Conformity is for sticks in the mud. But I'd say even Linky's a bit off. No normal kid is as much of a boy scout as he is, not even actual boy scouts."

"Well, he has always been open-minded, guess that's why I and most of the girls always wanted him to play with us. In my case though, it was also because he's the only brother I have."

She expected Ryan to say something along the lines of "Too bad he grew up to be such a girl", but he didn't. He didn't say anything to that. Guess he was feeling generous today.

Then Lynn remembered the conversation they had the previous day, before her siblings barged in, Renee got hospitalized and Kathleen dragged them off to a day of charity work. She remembered once more that they were all alone now. Lincoln and Lucy were asleep and Renee was in too much of a funk to notice anything going on. The circumstances couldn't have been any better.

But she did not know how to bring that topic up, and the thought of it still scared her a bit, much to her annoyance. She told herself to buck up, they've already had frank conversations about how they felt, Ryan even had the gall to kiss her on the cheek without her permission, this wasn't much of leap now.

She rubbed her arm. "But speaking of girls and boys, can I tell you something else? Just promise not to tell anyone?"

"You question my loyalty? You wound me." Ryan said overdramatically and placed his hand on his chest.

"Alright, smarty pants." Lynn rolled with it. "It's just…you said I was pretty, several times."

"You are pretty." Ryan shrugged casually. Lynn's cheeks grew increasingly redder.

"Well…yeah….you said that. But no one else ever said that to me." Lynn admitted.

Ryan looked at her inquisitively, but before he could get a word in, Lynn added. "Not like that ever bothered me. I never thought much about boys, my one true passion has always been sports. I guess that was one reason why I never clicked with my older sisters. Lori and Leni have been boy-crazy for years…"

"That's not hard to imagine." Ryan snarked.

"…and even Luan talked about them quite a bit. I know Lori and Leni had quite a few suitors at school, so obviously they were….I dunno….certified "pretty girls"? But I never thought of myself as one. Nobody ever called me that, until you came along."

"Guess I was the first one who looked past your "emasculating" tomboyishness…" Ryan joked while making air quotes.

Lynn chuckled a bit. She already knew that he liked that about her. She couldn't help but feel fuzzy on the inside once more, from the idea that a boy liked her for the qualities that she always considered her most defying features as a person.

"Yeah, most boys don't like having a girl be better at sports than them, I oughta know, but still….I still never thought of myself as pretty. Plenty of people said I was "plain", including Lori….especially Lori."

"Meh, she's probably just projecting something onto you…" Ryan said snidely.

Lynn wanted to agree, but she knew it wasn't true. "I don't think so. She had way too many admirers for that."

"Well…I guess it all boils down to one thing?" Ryan smiled at her. "As they say, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"? How else can you stand the sight of me?"

Lynn giggled impishly. "I dunno…guess I have weird tastes…"

Another brief silence ensued before Lynn said. "Ryan, I'm glad to have met you. I really am."

Ryan was caught off guard by the sincerity in her voice. Not like he hadn't heard her being sincere before, but there was something weirdly warm and genuine about the way she said this.

"I know we didn't start off on the best of terms…"

Growing flustered, Ryan scratched his neck and felt his whole body heating up. "Um…yeah, that's an understatement."

"I know, hitting any other girl would have been an immediate deal-breaker." Lynn joked. "Lucky for you that Lynnsanity doesn't mind a bunch of bruises."

Ryan swallowed a lump. He really did not like being reminded of their first encounter. He had held back no punches there, quite literally. He had treated her like any other random schmoe who had insulted him or been in his way. And his behavior after that wasn't much better. The idea of doing that to Lynn now was beyond horrifying to him.

"I…sorry about that…" he said in a small voice, not doing much to hide the clear guilt. "You know I was…..really, really stupid back then."

"So was I." Lynn candidly admitted. "But it was for the better in the long run. Spending time with each other helped both of us better ourselves. We both needed someone to keep us in our place."

"Oh…yeah…"

"You knocked some sense into me, I'll give ya that. Made me realize I wasn't invincible. It helped me realize how badly I had screwed things up with my family and I made amends with Linc and my sisters. I stopped being a bully then."

She glanced at Ryan. "And I gave you a reason not to be a bully anymore. Gave you someone you cared for. Well, me and….half of my family, but I know I'm you're favorite, right?"

Ryan just nodded weekly. "Well….yeah, I guess. It's weird having folks you actually care about. I spent my whole life looking out for myself. I had no one to depend on, no one to drag me down emotionally, except for Marcy, but she could always take care of herself…..so do you…."

"I know. I can protect Lincoln or Lucy or Lana from harm on my own, but it's always better to have a helping hand. You know those two squirts like you, Lucy really seems to look up to you. And don't deny that you like the two of them."

"I do like them." Ryan admitted. "It's weird though, it feels strangely….liberating."

"What? Having friends and helping them out?" Lynn smirked.

"Yeah….that crap." Ryan looked aside.

Lynn scooted a bit closer to him and bumped his shoulder again. "Hey, no shame in admitting that. That you like people. You already told me how you like-like me."

Ryan looked at her again. "Yeah, I do like-like you."

"And I like-like you too, Ryan." Lynn said impishly, her hand slowly moving to touch Ryan's.

The boy noticed it and felt his blood pumping, only now realizing how close they were. Any thoughts of leaving left his mind once he and Lynn locked eyes and he was graced by that beautiful smile of hers, her features illuminated by the morning rays.

Now it was inevitable. Without any thought, the two were drawn towards each other, their eyes closing as their lips connected. They didn't stay connected for long, but while it lasted, it felt like they were walking on clouds. They were technically high up anyway.

They leaned back, both of their faces flushing red, and looked away from each other, chuckling sheepishly.

"Wow…" was all Lynn could say.

"Yeah…" Ryan agreed. "Guess it's official?"

Smiling warmly, Lynn leaned towards him and hugged him while resting her head on his shoulder.

"Yeah….you're stuck with me now…" she said softly, while Ryan wrapped his arm around her.

At the moment, she or Ryan couldn't have cared less about tomorrow's challenge. They just cherished each other's company.


This pathetic, insignificant little settlement. From his vantage point on the hill, it looked like a mere stain in the dirt. Like a sagebrush that the smallest gust of wind could just blow away. Worthless, disposable, nothing.

So small, so unremarkable, like a dead rabbit festering on the open prairie and attracting flies and maggots, which were perfect analogies for the vile creatures that inhabited it. The inhabitants of this dinky village were hardly any different than the insects that you squashed under your heel. He knew those primates could do a lot better, raise entire mountains that housed thousands of them. And yet it was this little backwater town that harbored those little beasts, those runts that dared to attack him on his turf and were somehow still breathing.

His fangs clenched and he let out a vicious growl. How could they have gotten the drop on him? Twice in a row? And how did they find his cave? Whatever the answer was, he had ditched it now. It was an inconvenience at best, for he had many lairs across this land that he could fall back on. It was always wise to keep your enemies on their toes. But what would stop them from finding him again? Whatever trickery they had used to track him down, which seemed to involve a bright flash of light, and then vanish without a trace, they could do it again.

He fiddled with the small, spherical skull he had in his grasp, as he sat on the mossy hill, partially hidden by the towering spruce trees. His claws dug into the sockets and the skull started cracking in his grasp, his claws sinking into it. He could almost feel their squishy little appendages crumbling in his grasp, just like the skull which was soon crushed under his paw. Killing such feeble little worms should not be hard. Any rabbit could run fast, any prairie dog could escape down their burrow, but they would eventually be caught. It was an inevitability and this was no different.

Hearing wing flaps, he looked to his right and saw one of his vultures perching on a nearby branch. The scavenging bird started chirping at him. As usual, he had news.

One Eye listened keenly, before a smile formed on his lips. How serendipitous? And yet so perfect.


Well, I've dropped some pretty big bombs here. I think there is no denying that this chapter is a milestone for the story.

Now, I am someone who firmly believes that romance can't carry a story. It's, for all intent and purpose, a side dish. It can make a story more enjoyable, but it should never be the A story. Otherwise, you get a "Romantic Plot Tumor". That's the approach I took with the romance between Lynn and Ryan, but holy shit, I cannot believe that it's been four years since I create my OC and it took until now for him and Lynn to kiss. I planned to have them do it in my last story before I had my big epiphany and realized that the direction I was going with was a bad one (along with my gradual acceptance that the show itself is shite) and soft rebooted it with "Second Chance", leaving the main romance sidelined by a lot of other plots, subplots and many other relationships (a lot of which also involved Ryan Taylor). I'm so glad I had him and Lynn admit that they "like-like" each other back in chapter 16 and avoided many of the tedious cliches that come with the obvious couple of the story NOT doing that, but still. Damn, it sure took a long time, even if the context of the story, it took them less than a week to go from "admitting their feeling to each other" to "first kiss" XD And of course, it happening in Lynn's softcore wet dream beforehand doesn't count.

Okay, back to more plot-relevant stuff. I think it's safe to say that Lana's character arc has come to its logical conclusion. She started out as a spoiled brat (albeit one of the lesser ones among her family), she bonded with Lynn, who started being a good influence on her (as insanely nonsensical as that would be in the show itself XD), started being more considerate towards her parents, was tempted by the devil (Lori and Kathleen) to relapse into her old ways and ultimately rebuffed it. Suffice to say, she too is now a definitive "good guy" in the story. The only thing that is still unresolved is her broken relationship with Lola. There is also Luna's mini-arc. Considering she is the character I was the least interested in writing, it's amazing that she still got something to do in the story. Unfortunately for her, it was the lesson that just because you're part of a marginalized minority, doesn't mean fate will be any more inclined to follow your whims and give you the object of your affection (Sam) as a prize (especially if you didn't care to consider if your crush herself is even into girls XD). As I've mentioned before, the point of her mini-arc was also to show that there are always more important issues than your own personal grievances, since in the context of this story, Luna coming out of the closet is small fries compared to the Loud family's rampant disfunction that is severely hurting every family member in slow and insidious ways. Priorities.

On the villains' side, by which I do mean villains, not just extreme jerkasses like Lori and Lola (who still refuse to indulge in meaningful development), there have been some major revelations as well.

So Kathleen hasn't reformed after all? What a twist! Yeah, not like that was a huge surprise XD It was pretty obvious, but you gotta give the girl credit, she put on one hell of a performance that fooled everyone sans the few people that were personally familiar with her. She is a theater kid after all. And this chapter showed just how much effort she had put in just to keep up a convincing façade, given her true nature. I've been dying to have her unravel her true self for a while and I'm so happy that I finally got to that point. As you can gleam from this scene, Kathleen is a just little bit of a complete sociopath, and has serious rage issues to boot (her and Lola are indeed alike). Basically, both her and Lyle are bullies, by they are only bullies under someone like Stephen King's definition. Under normal definition, they are just supremely twisted children who don't care one iota what happens to the people that get in their way. Kathleen already tried to bump off someone without the influence of drugs, which is another plot point I've been eager to reveal. Technically, it wasn't Lola's fault Renee fell out of a window. At the very least, Kathleen gave a heavy assist.

As for One Eye, well, if his behavior in chapter 47 didn't make things clear, his evil smirk at the end of this one defiantly proves, without any doubt, that he's not just a smarter-than-average animal (wolves are still highly intelligent in real-life) acting out on instinct, but is as sentient as the human characters. I've been easing this idea into the story for a while now, with Marceline, Charles and Cliff also having fleeting but more frequent moments of anthropomization. And with sentience comes such things as malice and oh boy, One Eye is really pissed now. The times the protagonists ran into him by chance are over, he's coming after them now! And you do not want to incur the wrath of a wild beast who is much bigger and stronger than you and has no restrictions on what he can or can't do by virtue of not being human. Good new for the kids, he can't attack them while they are in town. Bad news, I just pulled a Jaws on them and they think the threat is gone, while said threat is well aware that he now has the element of surprise. Oh, and speaking of Jaws, that's basically what the vulture told him, that another wolf took the poisoned bait and One Eye put two and two together.