"Oh yeah! That's right! Lori for the win!" Team Lori had thrown a small party in honor of their first victory.

The team's leader was currently slide-stepping and twerking her butt in exuberance. "Go me! Go Lori! I'm the champ! I'm the victor! I'm on fire!"

Luna, leaning against the picnic table and holding a glass of juice, just rolled her eyes. Might as well let her celebrate prematurely. Better to have Happy Lori than the usual Cranky Lori.

Standing next to the rocker, Leni cheered and clapped her hands.

"You're totes awesome, Lori!" she laughed. "Celebrating Luna's victory after you failed twice! You're such a good sport!"

Conveniently, a scratch was heard as the record player broke down and Lori's gaze snapped towards her sister, scrunching up into an enraged glare.

"You're so cool, Lori." The ever-oblivious Leni continued clapping while Lori's eye twitched.

"Calm down, dude." Luna tried to mitigate the situation. "Lori, if you get angry that will just agitate your blisters again."

Lori growled as her skin started feeling like it was on fire again and she scratched her neck and left flank in agitation.

"Yeah, we should be celebrating!" Leni squealed with joy. "After all, we won the duel!"

Luna facepalmed while Lori's skin itched even more, but she was too pissed at this point to care about it once she was reminded that they weren't out of the frying pan yet and could still fall into the fire.

"We haven't won yet, you idiot! There's still one more challenge left!" their leader snapped before shuddering a bit, knowing this was Lynn's challenge. Suddenly, she regretted humiliating the former so badly during the last challenge.

Leni gave her a blank face before slowly counting on her fingers.

"Wrestling… one…pugil joust…two…quiz…eh…" she tried to remember what came after two "…oh…three? One, two and three?"

The realization finally dawned on her. "Oh, right?" she giggled sheepishly. "There were supposed to be four challenges? Silly me? I thought this duel was a bit on the short side."

Lori clenched her teeth and curled her fingers, mustering up every ounce of willpower she had not to strangle her sister on the spot. Seeing the warning signs, Luna walked up to her and cleared her throat.

"Say? Have any of you blokes seen Lola?"

"Lola?" Lori remembered and looked around, her anger quelling. "Where is that useless brat?"

"Here…I'm here…" they heard the princess panting as she walked up to them and rested on her knees.

Her face was smudged and her usually speckless pink dress and gloves were covered in dirt, and her hair was a mess.

"Oh, hello, Lana!" Leni smiled. "So you came to watch the duel after all?"

"Just what the hell happened to you?" Lori scowled. "Where have you been this whole time?"

"I was held… prisoner…" Lola panted, trying to straighten herself. "That maniac… caught me…locked me up… in an outhouse. Had to…dig my way…out…so gross…so many worms…"

"So in other words, you failed at your job, again!" Lori chastised her, making Lola flinch. "Lucky for us Luna had enough brains to win the last challenge! But you…you're just WORTHLESS!"

"Dude, take it easy." Luna grabbed her shoulder. She couldn't believe she was actually standing up for Lola of all siblings, but she couldn't just stand here and watch this.

"What did you expect her to do? Beat Ryan up?"

Lori yanked her shoulder free. "Keep your trap shut." She hissed, gesturing with her head at Leni.

"I'm not useless! I destroyed that stupid robot thing!" Lola snapped back with hot tears. "He was feeding Lynn information! They would have won if I hadn't poured water onto it and fried its wires!"

"What robot thing?"

"Lori, she's telling the truth." Luna nodded. "Lisa did build this robot assistant for herself that looks like a fox crossed with a midget psycho killer. Since she's on Lynn's team, the robot might be helping them?"

"Um…what are you guys talking about?" Leni arched an eyebrow. And this time, it wasn't due to her stupidity. She was legitimately left in the dark.

"Yes!" Lola smiled proudly. "I think someone owes me an apology and a "Thank you"!"

But Lori didn't hear a single word Lola said, too caught up in her own thoughts.

"Wait? Is that how they impersonated Bobby?" the blonde put two and two together. "That bucket of bolts has some kind of voice monograph?"

"Eh…you mean voice modulator?" Luna corrected her but shrank under Lori's glare.

"Excuse me!" Lola snapped at them and jumped in anger while shaking her fists. "Don't I deserve praise for my hard work! I had to dig through the dirt like a mole! Look at what happened to my beautiful dress, you pompous ingrates!"

"Shut the hell up or I'll put you back six feet under!" she jumped and hid behind Lori as a pissed-off Lynn marched up to them, followed by her teammates.

"Oh, lookie?" Lori smirked smugly. "Miss Chromedome has come back to grace us with her shiny noggin!"

Lynn fumed as Team Lori erupted with laughter and she raised her fist, but Lincoln grabbed it and held it back.

"I still don't know what's so funny?" Leni paused and blinked.

"Gee, sis." Lori sneered at the jock. "I mean, I know your name is Lynn Junior but you don't need to copy our dear daddy in every way possible? At least wait for the cankels to grow in before you start losing-"

"I didn't come here to trash-talk, you hefty heffer!" Lynn snapped at Lori, though as usual, her mouth wasn't quite in synch with her brain. "I came to finish this duel!"

Hearing that, Lori's smirk faltered and she felt a chill run down her spine. Fun time was over.

"Because so help me! After my second challenge, not only will my team be taking home the gold!"

Lincoln's brow furrowed. "But there is no trophy, Lynn-"

"But my opponent will be paying a visit to the hospital for a freaking leg transplant!" the enraged Lynn continued. "Cuz her old ones are gonna be a bust!"

Lori tried to keep a brave face and snorted. "Maybe, but I guess you won't be visiting the barbershop anytime soon?"

Lynn's eye twitched as the opposing team erupted with laughter again.

"Oh, you're on fire, Lori!" Lola slapped her knee.

"Being a bit of a hypocrite, aren't you, Lola?" Lucy's impassive quip brought the princess's laughter to an end. "You roll around in the dirt like a pig and yet you shame Lana for doing it?"

Lola's eyes blazed with fury. "Don't you dare mock me, you grime-infested hag! Lynn's stupid boyfriend did this to me!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry? What could have possibly made him want to hurt you?" Lynn feigned regret before deciding to cut the crap. "While we're at it, why don't we both come clean? Huh? Neither of us has been playing fair and square?"

"Lynn…" Lincoln tried to stop her.

Lynn glared at Lori. "I mean, I was trying to preserve my integrity as an athlete and be a good sport, but you and your sad, sad, insecure squad of losers forced my hand!"

"Who are you calling…" Lori's face turned red when a familiar face casually strolled out of the bushes, with his hands behind his back. Lincoln facepalmed in defeat while Lori was left speechless at the other boy's brazenness.

"Well, guess the robo-fox's out of the bag, fellas? It was fun while it lasted." Ryan shrugged and joined his team's side. "But I guess this proves who the superior team is? Doesn't it, Blondy? Lynn's smart enough to hire competent saboteurs."

Lori was fuming and reached towards him. "How dare you show your ugly-"

She yelped as Ryan swatted her hand away, the force of it making her clutch her aching hand.

"Don't you even think about it, you miserable cunt!" Ryan snarled and stepped forward, his aloofness suddenly replaced with unbridled anger. "Don't think I'll let you get away with what you did to Lynn!"

Lincoln's heart skipped a beat as Lori glowered at Ryan and seemed ready to strike but he wasn't budging one inch. He instead smirked with vicious glee and pulled his switchblade from his back pocket.

"No!" Lincoln cried when someone jump-flipped onto the scene and got between Lori and Ryan.

"Wow! Things just got a little too intense here, ladies and gents!" Kathleen announced into her mike, stopping the startled competitors dead in their tracks.

"Tisk. Tisk." She shook her head. "Can't say I approve of your cheating, but hey? Who am I to question the Loud family's traditions? You do you, guys."

"Wait?" Leni frowned. "You cheated?" she gave Lynn a sad look, then shifted it towards Lori. "We cheated too? Guys, how could you! That is totes not cool!"

"Wake up and smelly the coffee, you ding-dong!" Lola snapped at her.

Kathleen cringed upon getting a better look at Lola. "Yikes, looks like Team Lynn's saboteur employed some rather dirty tricks! What do you have to say for yourself, Mr. Taylor?" she shoved the mike towards Ryan.

"Oh, ha ha ha. You're so witty, Kathleen!" Luan said mockingly. "You are the freaking Wordsmith of Comedy!"

Lana made no comment about that. She just let Luan vent.

Ryan smacked the mike out of the rich girl's hand, glaring at Lola. "All I got to say is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't clobber the little monster while I had her in my grasp instead of trying to accomplish the impossible and help Lynn win a quiz."

"Hey!" Lynn said indignantly.

Kathleen picked up her mike and dusted it. "Well, looks like Ryan still has issues with assaulting little children?" she announced in jest.

"Since when were they and hellspawn the same thing?" the boy scoffed.

"True that." Lucy smirked and they bumped fists, much to Lola's chagrin.

"But on the upside, this is bound to make the final challenge a lot more… interesting!" Kathleen stated before approaching Lynn with her mike.

"Speaking of which? What will the final challenge be, Lynn?"

Feeling her blood rushing, Lynn's face hardened and she grabbed the mike. "A race! A race all the way back to our home!"

The opposing team gasped.

"A race all the way back to our house?" Lola asked incredulously. "Have you lost your marbles? That's so far away and difficult and-"

"That's the idea, sissy buns!" Lynn glared at them. "I know none of you nancies could make the journey back home on foot, let alone by running! And I chose Lori as my opponent again!"

"What?!" her teammates blurted.

"What!?" Lori freaked out. "You want me to run all the way back home! Are you literally insane?"

"Oh, you can call it quits now and become our slaves! Either works for us." Lynn laughed curtly. "But personally, I would prefer the workout and watching you humiliate yourself like the bitch you are!"

"I never call it quits!" Lori snapped furiously.

"Then it's settled, we start the race in half an hour!" Lynn announced. "Get ready to suck pavement, tubby! Cuz we all know there ain't no way you're gonna last half of the track before plopping on your smug face!"

"Um, hey! Can I ask something!" Lisa shouted and held her arm up. The others looked at her.

"Not to be brash but what about the whole "cheating issue"?" Lisa asked. "Now that both teams have admitted that they were trying to rig the challenge in their favor-"

"Oh, that's simple!" Kathleen laughed into her mike. "In accordance to the ancient law of cheating, if both sides cheat, then it evens it out into being fair play again! Plus, this is a team challenge after all! So Lori and Lynn will both have their own….pit crew while running the marathon!"

"What?!" Lori panicked. "You can't be serious?! You can't allow that?"

"Hey, I'm just the host. It's your game." Kathleen shrugged. "And after all, it was your idea to add this…additional wrinkle to the games, not mine."

Lori's lips thinned out and she was rendered speechless. There was no talking her way out of this one.

"Ohhh…looks like someone's plan backfired on them?" Ryan cooed mockingly. "Again. But who is keeping count at this point?"

"Alright!" Lynn pumped her fist while giving Lori an evil smile, before turning to her team. "Ryan! Lincoln! You'll be my pit crew!"

"Me?" Lincoln whimpered, feeling his stomach twisting. Now he was being appointed to rig the challenge as part of the game?

"Lynn, you maniac! You're the greatest!" Ryan chuckled with unflinching glee and rubbed his hands. "I was born for this role!"

"But he's not part of the family!" Lori snapped.

"I thought the rules only apply if you play in perfect accordance with them? Do they say anything about che…unconventional play?" Kathleen asked.

"Why…I…"

"Actually, no." Leni explained while holding up the treaty. "As a matter of fact, the treaty doesn't mention a single thing about cheating?"

She then recalled something and smiled at Lori. "Don't you remember? You told me yourself that we should never bring up the topic of cheating when we updated the treaty… so that you could use it as a loophole to win the challenges should you ever be challenged?"

Lori stood there with a stupid look, gargling on her own words. Leni's smile faltered as something else hit her.

"Wait a sec?" she scowled and wagged her finger at the stupefied Lori. "That was not a very nice thing to do!"

Ryan gave the other team a diabolical grin. "Alright, soon-to-be-slaves? Which two of you wish to perish while squaring off against me and my over-moralistic little sidekick who can in no way stop me from maiming you? Don't be shy?"

Lola and Luna trembled and hugged each other, knowing there were no other options but the two of them.

"Oh, me! Pick me, Lori!" Leni raised her hand. "I always wanted to rock the helmet and red jumpsuit!"

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and say…you're gonna pick Lola and Luna?" Kathleen held the mike out to Lori.

"Yeah…sure…" she said with a vacant look.

"Awww…" Leni hung her head.


"Lynn? Why on Earth did you choose Lori again?" Lincoln lamented in front of the changing hut.

"Well, technically?" Lisa tapped her chin. "If we take into account our four sisters' usual daily activities respectively? With Lola being involved in a lot of physical quarreling with Lana, Leni spending comparatively more time at the mall meandering around on foot and carrying moderately heavy shopping bags, and Luna…if nothing else, standing while playing her guitar, I'd say Lori is the most, as our athletically-inclined sister would put it, "out of shape" of the four? So perhaps Lynn made the right call?"

Lincoln blinked. "Well…that does make sense? But you also realize-"

"Still, I doubt Lynn thought about any of that when making her decision?" Lucy crossed her arms. "She was clearly too upset to even think clearly."

"Yes! Plus, Lori is going to be the most vicious and relentless opponent Lynn could have picked? Her anger alone could be enough to fuel her in the absence of strength or endurance?"

"That…" Lisa pondered. "That is also true? I suppose there are advantages and disadvantages to this particular choice."

"No problemo." Ryan said confidently while looking at his fingers. "Lynn's "pit crew" is gonna make sure she crosses the finish line first! Are you as excited as I am, Twinkle Toes?"

"No…I…" Lincoln grew flustered and grabbed his head. "I don't know what to think about this!"

Rolling his eyes, Ryan walked up to and threw his arm over Lincoln's shoulders.

"What you should be thinking of is ways to prevent Pinky and Moon Girl from sabotaging Lynn so you and I can sabotage Blondy. Strike first, show no mercy, do our jobs. You get that?" he said wryly while poking Lincoln in the chest. "It's part of the challenge, remember?"

"I…you…ugh…" Lincoln grumbled before sighing in defeat. "Fine! But you gotta promise me one thing?"

"Oi.." Ryan groaned. "Lemme guess? You don't want me to-"

"-hurt Lola or Luna. Yes!" Lincoln finished for him. "We should focus on keeping Lori away from the finish line, so can you at least promise me not to hurt my sisters in any way?"

"Fine, Linky, fine." Ryan rolled his eyes. "You have my solemn word that I will not harm them whatsoever…"

He paused, in order to give Lincoln false hope before adding a condition that the latter would obviously not approve of. But Lincoln wasn't fooled and his scowl didn't falter.

"Unless?" he asked irritably. "Unless what?"

"Oh, you got me." Ryan chuckled and let go of him. "Unless they try to sabotage us, you know they'll try that. Or unless I lay my eyes on the little monster. Moon Girl I can spare, but the pint-sized hellspawn? Nadda! All bets are off."

"That sounds reasonable." Lisa concurred impassively.

"Couldn't agree more." Lucy smiled darkly.

Lincoln must have grown used to it, because he just felt numb at this point. Though he couldn't argue that Ryan raised a fair point with the first condition. While Lori and Lynn were racing, their respective "pit crews" would undoubtedly clash as well.

"Could we just settle on… I dunno…" he tried to think of anything to keep this volatile situation from escalating too much "…tying them up to a telephone pole or something? We can even draw mustaches on them if you want?"

"Not a bad idea? For Moon Girl that is." Ryan rubbed his chin before shrugging. "But Pinky, nah."

"I'm hammering her on sight." He emphasized by smashing his fist into his palm.

"Can you take a camera to film that?" Lucy asked her brother with a hopeful smile. Defeated, he made a mental note to keep an eye out for Lola and Luna before Ryan saw them.

The door of the hut was busted open and Lynn jumped down the small staircase.

She was decked out in a white sports bra and jogger shorts, along with her usual soccer socks and sneakers, in combo with knee and elbow pads. But what surprised everyone was her headgear! For she was wearing nothing but a red sweatband, revealing the large bald patch on her scalp.

"Lynn?" A dumbstruck Ryan lifted a finger. "Why are you-"

"Cuz I have nothing to hide!" Lynn snapped, making them all flinch. "Lori exposed my shame, so I'm gonna unshame it!"

"Um…"unshame" isn't a real word?" Lisa pointed out.

"I don't care, grammar geek!" Lynn told her sharply. "After I crush Lori like the cockroach she is, nobody will dare make fun of my bald spot!"

"She sure is being bold about her baldness. I'll give her that." Luan admitted before snickering uncontrollably. "Get it? Bold? Bald?"

Lana ignored the teen's lame pun as she held on to the phone, her eyes glued to it.

"Come on, Lynn? You can do this?" she said in a small voice.

"Wait? So this sibling duel will end at our house, won't it?" Luan realized.

"Yeah? Meaning…we can see it ourselves!" Lana beamed before realizing something.

"Well, I can?" she gave the comedian a sheepish smile. "You'll just have to watch it through the window?"

Luan frowned but quickly perked up. "Good enough for me. As long as I get to see Lori get humiliated."

"But, Lynn? Aren't you worried that someone else, someone you know, might see you?" Ryan pointed out. "Nosy? Crutch Girl? Other insignificant background characters who will be part of our future class-"

"I'll take my chance." Lynn scoffed brazenly. "I'll be moving too fast for anyone to get a good look anyway!"

Ryan smirked and rubbed his chin. "Good point there."

"Lynn, we're all counting on you now." Lincoln approached her and put a hand on her shoulder. "This is the last leg of the sibling duel, and it's all resting on your shoulders now."

"Don't worry, I will win this." Lynn's face hardened.

"Just be sure to look out for any traps or other nasty surprises." Lincoln reminded her. "You know you're dealing with Lola."

"Oh, not to worry. I have a hunch Pinky will never get that far." Ryan chuckled darkly while fiddling with his switchblade, making Lincoln uneasy.

"And don't let Lori distract you with name-calling or any other hackling." Lucy added poignantly.

"In your dreams, Pasty!" Lynn scoffed. "She won't get a single word in! Because she'll be too busy eating my dust!"

They heard a coach whistle in the distance. It meant the race was about to start.

Lynn's eyes narrowed. "No time for chatting. You two!" she pointed at Lucy and Lisa.

"Go join the others at the starting line! And you two!" she pointed at Ryan and Lincoln. "Get moving, lazy bones! You're supposed to have a head start!"

Lucy and Lisa nodded and ran off. "Good luck!" the genius shouted.

"Same here." Lincoln nodded. "Best of luck! I believe in you!"

"Don't get mushy! Just move it!" Lynn grabbed his shoulders and pushed him onward. Lincoln obliged and ran off.

"Not to worry, Freckles. I got this." Ryan said confidently and saluted her in jest. But as he was about to run, Lynn grabbed him by the arm.

"Just promise me one thing?" She told him seriously. "Do whatever it takes to help…short of stabbing anyone."

"Pffftt…I wasn't gonna stab, Blondy." Ryan insisted. "The knife was just for intimidation purposes…I swear."

"I don't care." Lynn said firmly. "Just do what needs to be done. I'm relying on you and Lincoln and I don't think he'll have the guts to do what's necessary, so you need to be strong for the both of you!"

"No biggie." Ryan laughed and yanked his shoulder free. "When has he ever been able to stop me?"

Lynn let out a small snicker. He had her there.

"I'm putting my trust in you, so don't you dare disappoint me. Got it?" She told him. "If…I mean when we win, I promise, I'll kiss you for your troubles."

Ryan smiled and shrugged. "Pretty sure you would do it under any circumstances but I'll gladly take-"

Lynn cut him off by pulling his cap over his eyes and turning him around before giving him a speed boost, like with Lincoln.

"Just get going, Casanova!" she barked at his shrinking form before taking off towards the starting line.

"Here goes nothing…" she braced herself. No race or sports tournament she had participated in before has ever made her this nervous.


Lynn arrived at the starting line, which was just a simple white line that had been painted on the ground in a hurry, in front of the open gate leading out of the park. In front of it was a pathway cutting through the forest and in the distance, she could see Royal Woods.

Kathleen's limo was parked next to it, with its owner standing right behind the line, holding her mike, along with Lisa, Lucy, Leni and a still-groggy Amber, the latter standing in front of the line with a starting pistol in her hand.

Lori was also there, with her arms crossed and wearing a similar outfit to Lynn's except hers was black in color, and she had tied her hair in a ponytail again.

"Subtlety much?" Lynn scoffed under her breath before marching onto the scene, doing everything in her power to ignore the snickering Kathleen was trying to suppress.

"Why did ya ditch the beanie? It was very gangsta." Lori taunted her. "Or do you just like feeling the breeze against your shiny scalp?"

"Your words mean nothing to me, Lori." Lynn replied in a steely tone, staring her in the eye. "For they won't mean shit by the end of this race."

Feeling like she was gaining the upper hand, Lynn allowed a smirk to crawl onto her face.

"Plus, you ain't fooling me. Anyone with eyes in their skull can see that you're terrified on the inside."

Lori growled. "As if. You are going down!"

"She might have a point, Lynn? About the hat anyway." Kathleen said casually. "Aren't you worried someone you know might see your…less-than-pleasing hairdo?"

"No." Lynn said firmly before anyone could quip about it. "I have nothing to hide! Unlike some people."

"Your funeral, freak…" Kathleen said inwardly before clearing her throat. "Very well then! Let the final challenge commence!"

She snapped her fingers and James wheeled in a chart with a simple map on it, showing a more or less straight line.

"I've taken the liberty of figuring out the main three landmarks that will guide you down the shortest and easiest path towards your house!" she announced through her mike while holding a pointer with her other hand.

"First one's the bridge which most folks use to enter Royal Woods from the west! The one going over the gorge! Getting there will be the longest leg of the race!"

Lynn shuddered a bit, remembering how that was the place where she was first reacquainted with One Eye. Good thing that cur was a dead dog.

"Next, you'll be heading towards town square, and finally, you'll take a left turn at Royal Woods' high school, with your final destination being, naturally, your own humble home! Do our racers got that!"

"Easy peasy…" Lynn folded her arms.

"Child's play…" Lori scoffed.

"Or really?" Lynn smirked. "I do recall that you're pretty bad with directions unless your Bobby-kins is there to drive you?"

"Why you…" Lori growled.

"Save the trash-talking for the race, ladies!" Kathleen called out. "With your pit crews having a twenty-minute head start…" she said while looking up her stopwatch "…you two will start the race in T-minus three minutes! So… get ready!"

Fixating her gaze on the track, Lynn crouched down in a classic standing position, with one leg between her hands and the other far behind them. Lori tried to do the same but was a bit awkward until she stabilized herself.

"Heh…amateur…" Lynn said snidely, making her opponent seethe.

"And remember!" Kathleen announced. "The only rule for this race is…there are no rules! Whoever reaches the finish line first wins the challenge and wins this duel!"

Lynn and Lori both sweated and braced themselves, their hearts pounding rapidly, while an unfocused Amber tried to aim her gun at the sky.

"One minute left!" Kathleen announced exuberantly. Amber held her gun up with a shaky arm.

"Go, Lori!" Leni cheered while playing with Amber's pom-poms.

"You can do it, Lynn!" Lisa shouted.

"My calculations. Show. That. Subject Lynn has. The physical. Advantage." A one-eyed Fenton, whose voice was randomly rising and dropping in pitch, said while standing next to his creator, with a poorly patched-up head that had sparks flying out of it.

Lucy just gave Lynn a thumbs-up.

"Come on, Lynn! You can do it!" Lana shouted from the bedroom, way too loudly for her companion's liking.

"You know she can't hear you?" Luan said in annoyance.

"Thirty seconds left!"

Lynn and Lori prepared to run.

"Aaaaand…go!"

Amber shot her pistol and the two racers bolted… when a dead raven dropped in front of them.

"What the?" temporarily confused, Lynn got tripped by Lori and faceplanted in the dirt.

"My bad!" Lori laughed crassly and took off into the distance. "Later, looooser!"

"Opps…" Amber covered her mouth while watching the dead bird, as a growling Lynn wiped her face and got up.

"Looks like Lori is taking an early lead, folks!" Kathleen announced as Lynn chased after her sister.

"Why that lousy, no-good…jerkface!" Lana was enraged and shook the phone.

"I hope she breaks a leg." Luan said bitterly. "And I don't mean it metaphorically."

Once both racers were out of sight, Kathleen casually threw her mike over her shoulder.

"Guess I won't be needing that anymore." She quipped and dusted her hands.

"Thank the Grim Reaper…" Lucy muttered under her breath.

Kathleen clapped her hands. "Alright, everyone! Get into the limo! We have to reach and more importantly, construct the finish line at the Louds' backyard!"

"Wait a minute!" Lisa raised her voice. "Where are Charles and Marceline?"

"Yes, where are they?" Leni noticed.

Kathleen rolled her eyes. "Alright! Everyone, fan out and find the two little fuzzballs toot sweet, we have no time to lose! Chop chop!"

Everyone did so, with the barely functional Fenton stumbling after Lisa.

"I shall. Assist. You. Master. Lisa." He said awkwardly, making his creator groan and grab his arm to pull him along.

"Come on, you clattering contraption!" she hurried him along, noticing how Kathleen was watching them.

"Incredible…" she said quietly before hearing the faint noise of tiny mechanical moving parts, directing her gaze towards the grassy ground.

Her eyes widened as she saw a tiny orb with spider legs heading towards the little genius and her android. Acting on instinct, Kathleen ran after it and squashed it under her heel.

"What's going on?" Luan blurted as the screen on her phone suddenly went static.

"Reception must be bad?" Lana shrugged.

"It's a highly advanced robot, for Bozo's sake!" Luan lamented. "How can he have "bad reception"?

"I dunno, guess I'll have to wait for Lynn outside." Lana figured and jumped off the bed.

"Smell ya, later!" she closed the door and Luna could hear her running down the stairs.

Groaning, the comedian left her phone on the bed, grabbed a chair and moved it towards the window. She could do nothing now but sit and wait.

Kathleen, meanwhile, grabbed the little spy eye, which was twitching and sparking, and held it up to her face. It then occurred to her that she saw the fox-bot with only one eye, even though he usually had two. She quickly deduced what this little doohicky likely was.

"Fascinating…you're coming with me." She smirked deviously and tucked it into her purse before going off to search for the cat and dog as if nothing happened.

"Oh, Chares! Oh, Marceline!"


Back at the trapeze net, shrieking and the flapping of wings was heard, as Raza struggled to untangle himself, with Charles just below him, repeatedly jumping and snapping his jaws, barely missing the vulture.

But his eyes were fixated on Marceline, who was prowling towards him, trying to keep her balance on the net, her vibrant green eyes glaring daggers into the vulture, as she shook her rump and braced herself to pounce.

His heart pounding a mile a second, Raza desperately tried to free himself and manage to untangle one wing but too late. With a vicious screech, the savannah lunged at him, claws extended but landed right in front of him and her legs went through the net.

Their combined weight lowered the net, so Charles succeeded in grabbing it with his jaws and started pulling it down, while Marceline struggled to free herself, hissing and swatting at the bird with her free paw. She resorted to biting through the net to untangle herself and after several bites, she tried lunging at Raza again, only to fall through, the action lowering the net even further as she clung onto it with her forelimbs.

Following her example, Raza tried to bite through the rope with his beak, while Marceline decided to help Charles in pulling the net down, their target just out of reach. Shrieking, Raza managed to free his other wing and tried to fly away but found his left foot to still be caught in the net and the cat and dog were pulling him increasingly closer to them.

"There you guys are!" Marceline and Charles jumped as they heard Leni squeaking joyfully, accidentally releasing the net and it flung Raza high into the sky. He let out a long shriek as he was hurled towards the forest at breakneck speed and crashed into the distant canopy, leaving behind another wafting trail of feathers.

Marceline and Charles watched this with their jaws hanging limp.

"I see you guys made friends with that nice rooster!" Leni laughed as she picked the two up. "But play time's over! We gotta go back home! I'm sure the rooster had to fly back to his farm too! Gotta wake the farmers up every morning so they won't miss work!"

Charles whimpered and hung his head while Marceline squirmed and meowed in frustration. How could a damn bird be slipperier than a fish!

"Oh, I know. You must miss Ryan?" Leni cooed. "Worry not, I will bring you back to him myself. But he's a little busy at the moment."


"Do you see them?"

"Not yet? They should be coming down this path…" Ryan used his binoculars to scour the area as he and Lincoln were lying on their bellies on top of a rocky overhang, observing the dirt path in front of them, flanked by pine and birch trees. Both were carrying handbags filled with lots of nasty surprises.

Lincoln used his own binoculars to search for Lola and Luna, but so far there was no sign of them.

"And what about the pummel dummies?" Ryan chuckled in eager anticipation.

"Can you please focus on your task?" Lincoln asked in annoyance.

"I am. But I don't think you are." Ryan sneered. "You do realize those bimbos won't have any mercy for us, so keep your eyes peeled and strike first, doughboy."

"I told you…we'll handle them." Lincoln insisted. "We just don't need to be…violent about it."

"Again, you know the feeling ain't mutual." Ryan snarked with growing irritation while looking through his binoculars. "Why are you so defensive of that little shit stain anyway? I thought even you agreed she was a lost cause?"

"I didn't…I mean…" Lincoln grew flustered. "Look, I have a plan….it's a long game…of sorts.."

"…a.k.a. you're making crap up as you go along. Gotcha." Ryan scoffed. "Well, I'm telling ya right now, it ain't gonna work."

"It will!" Lincoln said indignantly. "I'm trying to break through her thick skull by exploiting her current position as a pariah in our family until it finally dawns on her that the world doesn't cater to her every whim…" his voice trailed off, as he realized that he said too much.

But Ryan seemed unfazed. "Not a terrible idea, pipsqueak…except for one tiny problem. You're dealing with freaking Lola Loud." He paused, as something dawned on him. "Huh…I finally remembered her name?"

"And what's your point?"

"My point is that after all the crap she went through this week, I'd reckon she would have seen the light by now. Nobody is that delusional. But she didn't, so I guess she is that one exception." Ryan replied frankly. "Hence, she's a total lost cause that's only good for being pummeled into a bloody pulp."

"You can't expect her to change this quickly?" Lincoln pointed out. "And you can't expect any results while Kathleen is encouraging her bad behavior, we have to get rid of her while-"

"Shhh! They're here!" Ryan grabbed him by the collar and pointed ahead. They saw two specks heading towards them, one light, one dark.

Just a few miles into the race, Lori was already feeling tired, she was sweating profusely, and her muscles felt heavy and like they were on the verge of cramping up.

"Tired already, slowpoke?" Lynn zapped past, making sure to kick up the biggest dust cloud possible.

Lori halted and coughed before resting on her knees to catch her breath.

"You're not giving up already!" Lynn laughed as she stopped in the distance and pointed at her. "At least try to make this look like a challenge, Chica Mucho Grande!"

Lori growled at her as Lynn raised her fists into the air and whooped triumphantly before running down the path. "See ya at the finish line, Thunder Thighs! Or should I say the hospital!"

But she didn't get far, as her foot got caught in a rope trap and Lynn found herself dangling upside down from a spruce tree.

"What the hell!" she cried as she swung back and forth.

She heard Lori's crass laughter as her older sister ran up to her and folded her arms.

"Oh, did we have a little accident?" Lori pinched her cheek. "Looks like my pit crew was busy?"

After patting her cheek, Lori ran off laughing. "Sorry to leave ya hanging, but I have a race to win!"

Hearing something swinging, Lori ducked at the last second and the flying bolas missed her and caught a small pine tree instead.

"Nice try, twerps!" Lori laughed up at Ryan and Lincoln. "Too bad your aim is as crooked as your teeth, Ryan!"

"Dammit!" Ryan boiled as he watched Lori getting away.

"Come on, we gotta help Lynn!" Lincoln slid down the overhang and Ryan followed him.

"You're blowing it already! She's getting away!" Lynn ranted as the boys reached her and Ryan pulled out his switchblade.

"Cover your head, Lynn." Ryan told her as he cut the rope.

Lynn wrapped her arms around her head before hitting the ground but she picked herself up like it was nothing and dusted her shoulders.

"Pick up the slack, you bozos!" she said angrily and made a mad dash after Lori.

"You're welcome." Ryan rolled his eyes before turning to Lincoln.

"Come on! We gotta find those two bimbos and put them out of commission!" he ran off.

"Without violence!" Lincoln cried as he followed him. "Please, just without excessive violence!"


Lynn ran as fast as she could and soon enough, Lori came into view, the latter's form growing bigger as Lynn zeroed in on her. Once she was close, she could see that Lori was struggling and panting heavily once more and a smirk formed on Lynn's lips.

"Gotta…keep…up…" Lori said between breaths when Lynn zapped past her, blowing a raspberry.

"You call that running? Aunt Ruth has more endurance after stuffing herself at Thanksgiving!" Lynn taunted her as the horrified Lori grew smaller and smaller.

But as she boasted, Lynn failed to see the rope being lifted from the dirt and she promptly tripped over it, leaving behind a long skid mark across the pathway and eating a mouthful of dirt.

"Nice wipeout!" Lola shouted from the side, holding one side of the rope, while Luna ran past the fallen Lynn and grabbed the brat by the arm.

"Just shut up and hide!" she said urgently as she dragged Lola back into the woods, while Lori waved at them.

"Nice work, girls! Keep it up!"

She ran past Lynn, who was trying to pick herself up. "Better watch your step, Lynn!" she shouted mockingly.

Right then, Ryan and Lincoln popped up from a bush and a grinning Ryan spilled a bag of marbles onto the path, causing Lori to spin out of control and crash face-first into a pine tree, where she slumped to the ground and was buried under a pile of pinecones.

"Practice what you preach, stumblebum!" Lynn laughed as she took the lead again, while Lori growled and pulled herself up from the pinecone pile.

"There!" Ryan grabbed Lincoln by the shoulder and pointed ahead, and the latter caught a fleeting glimpse of two blurs, one pink and the other dark purple, climbing up a wooded hill.

"Let's get them!" Ryan charged ahead.

"But what about Lori?"

Ryan halted and shot him an annoyed look. "Without her flunkies, she'll never be able to keep up with Lynn! Now move it!"


Once she was sure they were safely hidden, Luna stopped and rested on her knees. While she panted, Lola brushed the leaves off her dress and pulled a twig out of her hair.

"That was a close one…" Luna panted. "Ryan and Lincoln…definitely saw us…"

"Forget about them!" Lola pulled a rope net out of her handbag. "We need to set up a new trap! This one will take out Lynn for good!"

"But…we'll have to get…ahead of them again… to set it up?"

"Then what are you standing around for!" Lola barked. "The clock's ticking!"

Luna panted until her eyes widened. She pointed at the bottom of the hill.

"There they are! He's on to us!"

Lola turned around and saw Ryan and Lincoln moving through the bushes right below them.

Ryan looked up and grinned maliciously. "Time to die, Pinky!"

"Run!" Lola bolted past her sister, who rushed to catch up to her, but in the process, she stepped on a moss-covered log and tripped forwards.

The action caused the log to start rolling downhill, towards the boys, who froze in their tracks.

"They wouldn't?!" Lincoln cried in disbelief before the log knocked the two over like bowling pins and sent them tumbling down the hill, with Lincoln falling on the hard log and Ryan falling on top of him.

Getting up, Luna looked down and gasped in horror at what she had done, until Lola returned and patted her on the back with a laugh.

"Nice one, Luna! You're getting the saboteur game!" Lola shot her a finger gun. "Now let's scram!"

The mortified rocker saw Ryan sitting up and rubbing his head with an annoyed growl and she ran after Lola.

"I can't breathe…" the battered Lincoln said hoarsely before Ryan jumped off him.

"I can walk off a few broken ribs…" Ryan grumbled "…let's get them! It's SO on now!"

Further up, the girls ran deeper into the forest. "What did I do?" Luna panicked.

"I know what we're gonna do!" Lola stopped her and chuckled wickedly as she held up the net.

"Forget about Lynn! We'll use it on these chumps!" she told her partner. "Hoist them up like freshly caught herrings!"

"But…but I…"

Lola rolled her eyes. "You know Ryan's gonna kill you after the log thing, right?"

"Alright, fine!" Luna gave in. "What do we do?"

"Just hold onto the net and follow my lead!"

Gripping the different ends of the net, the sisters spread it out and went back where they came from, remaining vigilant.

"Stay sharp, we need to get the drop on them." Lola whispered.

"But what if they get the drop on-"

"They won't." Lola hissed. "They can't be far ahead. We gotta act fast-"

They heard a rustle in the bushes.

"Now! Now!" they threw the neat at a nearby bush and it caught something.

"Got them! They're putting up a fight!" Lola laughed as she and Luna held on tightly to the rope to restrain their captive, when he reared up from the bushes, bellowing loudly and with his huge antlers tangled in the net.

Luna paled. "You gotta be-"

The bull elk reared up and the sisters found themselves being swung around like ragdolls, screaming.

Ryan and Lincoln arrived on the scene and halted, unable to believe what they were seeing. Lincoln gaped in horror while Ryan erupted with laughter.

The elk soon threw the girls towards them, and the latter flew right over Ryan and Lincoln's heads, spinning through the air until Luna crashed into the top of a birch tree and Lola into her, clinging on to it as the tree spun back and forth wildly.

"Looks like mother nature is on our side!" Ryan exclaimed as he and Lincoln headed towards the tree. "We got them now!"

Then they heard the elk bugling and turned around to see the whole herd raising their heads from the forest and panicking.

"And they got us!" Lincoln cried as the herd charged towards them.

"Up there! Hurry!" Ryan pointed at the nearest pine tree and they scaled it up as fast as they could as the thunder of hooves was heard right below them and the herd stampeded past them and the girls, kicking up a huge dust cloud in the process.

By the time it cleared, Ryan and Lincoln pried their eyes open to find Lola and Luna gone.

"Goddamnit!" Ryan shouted.


Further ahead, Lynn was very much in the lead, with Lori being barely a speck in the distance. Lynn felt victory within reach before hearing bugling. She came to a screeching halt as the ground beneath her shook and the elk herd cut her off like incoming traffic.

"Oh, come on!" Lynn lamented as she stepped back and saw Lori encroaching on her.

Looking around, she found a thin tree trunk lying nearby. She always wanted to try out extreme pole vaulting?

"Bingo!" she ran up to it, grabbed it and then charged towards the stampeding elk, using her improv pole to successfully vault herself over the herd. She stuck the landing and continued running.

Seeing that, Lori growled and grabbed the nearest pole she could find and tried to do the same thing. It mostly worked, except that she botched the landing and faceplanted in the dirt. And to add insult to injury, as she pulled herself up, she noticed that the herd was long gone.

She cried at the heavens and resumed running as fast she could, her newfound wrath giving her another vital boost of energy. The path soon fell down a hill and Lynn skidded her way down while Lori followed her example, albeit more clumsily.

She managed to reach the bottom without tripping and pursued Lynn, who saw an armadillo crossing the path. It squeaked and rolled up into a ball upon seeing the girls charging at it.

Unable to stop her momentum, Lynn jumped over it, but Lori didn't care for that.

"Out of my way!" she barked while kicking it like a soccer ball and Lynn ducked as it flew over her and bounced into the forest.

"You really don't like armadillos, don't ya, Cruella?" Lynn scoffed back at her before getting an idea and kicked up another dust cloud as she ran.

Lori slowed down and coughed. She ran past the cloud and gritted her teeth as her opponent disappeared behind the trees once they came at a sharp turn.

Lori followed her, only for Lynn to jump up from behind a tree and body-slam her off the path.

"I can play dirty too, bitch!" Lynn laughed and ran off as Lori crashed into another tree.

Above her, a blue jay was making her nest when the tree shook and her eggs fell out and cracked on Lori's head, covering it in yolk. She growled and wiped it off her face before resuming the race.

Lynn laughed triumphantly as she saw the bridge coming into view, meaning the longest leg of the race was almost over, when Lola popped up from the bushes and swung a rope attached to a cholla cactus.

She aimed it and threw the cactus right into Lynn's left thigh, making her scream in pain and halt in her tracks as her leg became paralyzed and she spun around while hopping on one foot.

Seeing that, Lori hollered in laughter. "Uhhh…that's gonna leave a mark!" she ran past Lynn and mock saluted her.

Growling, Lynn sweated and looked around for a stick, saw one and hopped her way towards it. She grabbed it and tried to pry the cholla off her thigh. It hurt like hell but she sucked it up, clenched her teeth and managed to fling it off.

No sooner did she do that, she turned around and ran after Lori at full speed, not noticing that the cholla flew towards a boulder where a lynx rested.

The lynx awoke and yowled in pain as the cholla was embedded on his rump. After running in circles and shaking his behind, he turned around and saw the humans in the distance, making him growl ferociously and leap off the boulder.

Ryan and Lincoln arrived near the bridge leading into Royal Woods and saw many cars driving by in the distance.

"Now they have to face the urban jungle." Ryan quipped before looking around. "Where are those two rodeo clowns?"

"Forget them, there's Lori!" Lincoln grabbed his arm and pointed ahead.

They saw Lori running towards the bridge with Lynn in the distance. Ryan grinned and pulled out another surprise from his bag, a pair of firecrackers and a lighter!

"I know how to slow her down." He chuckled and was about to light one up when Lincoln grabbed his arm and pushed it down.

"You crazy!" Lincoln snapped at him.

"What? The bitches threw a log at us!" Ryan retorted.

"Look…that won't be necessary." Lincoln tried to reason and pointed ahead. "She can't run anymore? She's at her wit's end!"

Indeed, Lori was slowing down, her face was red, her breathing shallow and she was sweating bullets.

"Can't…go…on…" she could barely even speak and came to a stop, her body on the verge of giving up on her.

"Too bad, bubble butt!" Lynn zapped past her once more, her eyes on the bridge.

"Lori, run!" Lori heard Luna crying from a ridge.

"I…KNOW…IDIOT!" Lori ranted between gasps for air, trying to kick her legs back into gear.

"No! Run! Behind you!"

Lori looked over her shoulder and screamed. "I think I got my second wind!?"

Lynn was confused as she saw Lori catching up to her until she heard a feline screech and saw an angry lynx gaining on them, with a cholla sticking from his rump.

"Ahhh shit!?" Lynn screamed and started running faster. The two sisters were finally tied, running parallel to each other with the enraged lynx on their heels.

"Nice job, Lynn!" Lori yelled at her. "Only you would provoke a wild beast!"

"Me?! It was your freaking cactus!"

"Which you flung at it-yow!?" Lori cried as she got her butt clawed.

"Dammit, Mutton Chops made a comeback?" Ryan lamented before holding up the firecrackers. "Light them up, pipsqueak!"

Lincoln obliged and Ryan threw them at the lynx, one after the other. The first one exploding at his feet made the cat stop and the second made it turn tail and run away.

Calming down, Lynn waved at them and took the lead again. "Thanks, guys!"

She caught the water bottle that was thrown her way and gulped it down while still running.

"You're welcome, Blondy!" Ryan shouted at Lori, who grumbled irritably and tried to catch up with Lynn as they ran across the sidewalk of the bridge and got pelted in the head by the now empty bottle, courtesy of Lynn.

The jock blew another raspberry and continued leading the race while Lori started lagging behind.

"What a waste of perfectly good firecrackers." Ryan shook his head. "And to think I almost got to see Blondy being used as a scratching post?"

"Not funny, Ryan! Come on!" Lincoln told him as he ran after the girls.

Ryan followed him. "Who said I was joking?"

Luna and Lola, both sporting a shiner and bruised cheek respectively, watched them from their vantage point on the ridge and the former glowered at the latter.

"Nice job, almost getting our sisters killed." The rocker snarked bitterly.

Lola grinned sheepishly, revealing some bloody teeth when they heard the lynx yowling angrily in the distance and jolted.

"Including me!" Luna panicked. "Let's get out of here!"

They ran across the opposite sidewalk of the bridge, with the speeding cars separating them and the boys.


Rita was sitting on the couch and channel surfing. She could hear thumping from above and figured that her father and husband were in the attic. Why? She did not know. And she honestly wasn't very interested in it.

"That's it. Put them up. Great job!" she heard a familiar voice from outside, got up and walked up to the window.

Her eyes widened as she saw Kathleen back, along with Lana, Leni, Lisa and Lucy, and some blonde girl she'd never seen before, putting up a banner at the parkway. The banner said "Finish" and they tied a red ribbon on the poles.

On the upper floor, Luan glared angrily as she saw that her mortal enemy was back, standing behind the ribbon and putting her hand above her eyes.

"Now we just gotta wait for the victor." Kathleen told the others.

"Guys, where are Lynn and the others?" Lana asked Lucy and Lisa, who just shrugged.

"Beats me, we have no idea how far they have come." Lucy explained.

"Have you spoken to mother and father about you-know-what?" Lisa whispered.

"Nope, not yet." Lana answered when they all heard the backdoor opening.

"Just what's going on here?" Rita asked pensively as she marched up to them.

"Ah, good afternoon, Mrs. Loud." Kathleen greeted her. "We're just waiting for Lynn and Lori to finish the final challenge. I'm sure you've heard about the duel?"

"The sibling duel?" Rita remembered before looking at the rich girl uncomfortably.

"Oh, don't worry. I am not upset." Kathleen reassured her. "I don't fault you for Luan's temper problems, or any of the girls."

"What?! I oughta…" Luan clawed her nails against the window glass but nobody noticed her.

"I…is this challenge some kind of race?" Rita asked.

"Yes. If everything went according to plan, the two of them should be here very soon." Kathleen said while dialing a number.

"And where are Lincoln, Luna and Lola?" the mother asked.

"They…were given special tasks?" Lisa tried to explain. "Lynn and Lori both have their own…eh, "pit crew", to help them along?"

Rita arched an eyebrow but ultimately decided not to press on. Whatever strange rules they were playing by, it was not her concern. Unless they caused bodily harm to innocent pedestrians or collateral damage. Then it would be her concern and then some.

"What do you say?" Kathleen listened to her phone. "Oh? They've reached the town square already? Excellent!"


"Yes, they're heading for Lori's school as we speak." Jenny nodded and ended the call, as she observed the racers running down the sidewalk, while she hid behind a building and they passed by her. Jenny promptly turned around and ran back towards her taxi, to take a shortcut to the Louds' home, with her job being pretty much done.

Random pedestrians jumped out of the way as two girls in jogging gear ran past them, the younger one taking the lead. Of course, they recognized them as two of the Loud girls and each one of them moved on without giving them a second glance, content that the Louds rushed by them without doing anything to them. Compared to their usual shenanigans, this was pretty lowkey anyway.

"Try and keep up, chubby cheeks!" Lynn looked back and taunted the exhausted Lori. "Once I reach your school, I'm heading straight for victory!"

She noticed something flying in the corner of her eye and saw that it was a stink bomb. Acting fast, Lynn jumped, spun around and punted the stink bomb away.

"Seriously?!" Luna lamented while leaning against the railings of a fire escape.

On the other side of the street, Hank was holding a nerdy teenager while Hawk prepared to pummel his face, when the stink bomb landed next to them and exploded, creating a huge, green cloud. They coughed loudly while their intended victim managed to slip away before the cloud cleared and the Hogan brothers were left lying against the wall, slack-jawed and their eyes spinning.

"Cute! But you'll have to try harder than that!" Lynn laughed at Lori.

Hiding behind a wall, Lola pushed a roller skate in front of Lynn and the jock had a painful pratfall and slammed her head against the pavement.

"Is that pavement hard enough for ya!" Lori shot back as she ran past her.

Hissing in pain, Lynn sat up and rubbed the back of her head, while Lola silently skedaddled out of there.

Further up the street was a comic shop, and Principal Huggins stepped out of it dressed as a rancher and wearing sunglasses, carrying a small cardboard box filled with the latest volume of Ace Savvy. He looked left and right to make sure nobody was looking at him and stepped forward.

"Out of the way, cowboy!" Lori shouted as she bolted past him and knocked him to the ground. The comics spilled out of the box and half of them were lifted by the winds.

"No!" Huggins tried to grab them when Lynn vaulted herself over him, pushing him down once more and his comics were lost to the cruel draught.

"No! My comics! My mortgage!" he cried before collapsing and sobbing uncontrollably.

Lynn was catching up to Lori as the road dropped down a hill and they saw the high school in the distance. Though exhausted, gravity gave Lori a much-needed boost and she ran down the hill at full velocity but just as she reached the bottom, a trash can came rolling towards her.

"Garbage day!" Ryan laughed.

Lori's eyes bugged out and she tried to stop herself but couldn't stop her momentum and found herself on top of the rolling can, trying to keep her balance until she came speeding towards a grocery shopper who had just exited a store. Seeing her at the last second, he cried in alarm and they collided, as his groceries were splattered all across the pavement.

Groaning in unimaginable pain, Lori picked herself up and heard a familiar voice roaring, "YOU!? What the hell is the matter with you demented maniacs!?"

Covered in yolk and condiments, Mr. Grouse looked ready to explode, while Lynn ran past him unnoticed. "Can't a man even buy groceries without you goddamn Louds-"

"Get over yourself, you old fart!" Lori snubbed him as she chased after Lynn, leaving the poor old man dumbstruck before he dropped on his knees and sobbed into his hands. Until he felt a sharp pain.

"Agh!" he cringed and put a hand to back. "My aching back…" he whimpered.

Though the pain in his back was nothing compared to the pain his wallet was feeling.


"Don't you dare screw this up!" a crazy-eyed Lola told her partner while wielding a baseball bat. "It's now or never!"

Luna gulped while holding on to a potato bag. The two of them were hiding behind a wall in an alleyway, just one block to the left of the high school.

"I don't know about this…" Luna said, making Lola boil.

"You want to be a slave or not!"

"No, I don't…" Luna stammered. "But this-"

"Just throw the flippin' bag over her, I'll clobber her into submission and you grab the duct tape!" Lola reminded her. "This is our last chance! If we don't do this, we're done for! Done for!"

Quivering, Luna looked back at the road and soon saw their intended target heading towards them.

"Get ready!" Lola held up her bat. "You only have one shot!"

Bracing herself, Luna opened the bag and held it over her head, as the sound of footsteps became increasingly louder. As soon as Lynn's form came into view, Luna was ready to bag her but the bag wouldn't budge.

"No!" Lincoln cried as he pulled it back, causing Luna to plop on her butt while Lynn zapped by them, but Luna didn't let go.

"Lincoln!" Lola growled as he and the rocker fought over the bag.

"It's over, you two!" Lincoln was forced to let go as a crazed Lola swung her bat at him.

"Yes, it is! For YOU!" she raved viciously while Lincoln dodged her swings. "You won't win while I'm still breathing! You hear me!"

"Give it up, Lola!" Lincoln implored her as he grabbed the bat and tried to pry it out of her grasp, when Luna threw the bag over him and restrained him.

"Sorry, bro!" she grunted. "Nothing personal-agh!" she gasped as she was grabbed in a chokehold.

"But this is personal!" Ryan smirked and pulled her back, while Lincoln sighed inside the bag.

"I tried to warn you…"

"Ryan!?" Lola's eyes widened and she instinctively swung her bat at him, but Ryan simply used Luna as a meat shield. She took the blow for him and Ryan threw the battered teen aside.

Lola cringed in shock, when Lincoln snuck up behind her and pulled the bat out of her hands, before tossing it away.

"Enough!" he grabbed her by the arm. "It's over, Lola."

Ryan chuckled at the brat, before turning to Luna, who was groaning in pain and leaning against the wall.

"Now, what to do with you?" Ryan said while looming over her.

Luna whimpered and covered her face. "Please! Go easy, man!"

"Funny? You weren't thinking that when you sent that log after me and your widdle bro." Ryan retorted mockingly.

"It was an accident, I swear! I tripped!" Luna grew hot tears and clutched her hands in a pleading gesture. "I really did! I'm not some blinkin' psycho like Lola!"

"Hey!" Lola cried while being restrained by Lincoln.

Ryan rubbed his chin and turned to his partner. "What's your opinion, Super Sleuth? You're the expert on the bimbo squad? She legit?"

Grimacing, Lincoln studied his sister's expression and body language before sighing, "I believe her. She's not a callous lunatic like Lola."

"I am not!" said lunatic ranted.

Grunting, Ryan looked back at Luna and rolled his eyes. "Fine. Benefit of the doubt it is."

He smirked. "Relax, dollface. I'll go easy on you…"

Five minutes later…

"You call this "going easy"?" Lincoln lamented as Ryan tied Luna to a nearby telephone pole.

"What are you complaining about?" Ryan quipped as he made the final pull and squeezed the air out of Luna, before tying a triple knot for safekeeping. "This was your idea."

"I can't breathe…" Luna whimpered as Ryan used a marker to draw a mustache on her.

"Now, back to the truce menace." Ryan chuckled gleefully and flexed his knuckles.

His eyes were set on Lola, who was struggling to free herself from Lincoln's grip.

"I do believe we have some unfinished business, princess?" Ryan raised his fist when Lincoln pulled Lola away from him.

"Please, don't do it!" Lincoln implored him. "She's just a kid…a very spoiled…very obnoxious…very horrible…maybe slightly sociopathic kid."

"Oh, Lincoln, don't do this to me?" Ryan pouted with faux-pity. "You know we won't be able to agree on this, so just step back and let a real man take care of business."

"Wait! Can't we…can't we find some kind of compromise?" Lincoln pleaded.

"A compromise?" Ryan arched an eyebrow, but suddenly grew a big smirk and shrugged. "As you wish. We can compromise…"

Lola signed with relief, but Lincoln was still on edge. "Under what condition?" he asked.

"I won't beat up the little demon if you do the honor for me." Ryan declared.

"What!" Lola cried incredulously.

"What? You want me to beat up my little sister?" Lincoln blurted.

"It's either you or me." Ryan crossed his arms. "You know she had this whooping coming for a loooooooong time."

"But…but…"

Ryan rolled his eyes in annoyance. "You have one minute to make a choice, or I'll shove ya aside and tear little Lola to shreds. Tick tock…tick tock…"

Sweating, Lincoln glanced at Lola, who looked terrified but her expression soon morphed into a threatening scowl, aimed at him.

"D-don't you d-dare…" she warned him in a shaky voice. "Or…I'll tell mom about it!"

"I doubt you'll be able to do much talking with your arms shoved down your gullet." Ryan smirked darkly. "Tick tock…tick tock…"

Lincoln sighed. "Lola, I'm sorry…"

"Don't you even think about it!" the princess panicked. "I'm warning ya!"

"Tick tock…tick tock…"

"Sorry." Lincoln raised his fist. "It's either this." He pointed at it before pointing over his shoulder. "Or that."

Ryan snickered evilly and punched his palm.

"Time's up!"

Losing his cool, Lincoln swung his fist into Lola's gut, knocking her to the ground.

"There, I did it!" he scowled at Ryan.

Lola groaned and sent her brother a death glare. "You're SO dead for this!"

Ryan shook his head and moved towards her. "Not good enough-"

"Okay!" Lincoln panicked, hoisted Lola up and gut-punched her a second time before throwing her against the pavement. "Good enough!"

"Nope." Ryan said flatly. "Go for the face."

"The face?!"

"I'll give you a demonstration-"

"No, please!" Lincoln grabbed Lola by the arm and sucker-punched her in the face.

He tried to suppress the smile that was trying to creep onto his face and looked at Ryan, but the other boy did not seem pleased.

"Dammit…" breathing like he was surpassing laughter, Lincoln punched his sister several more times, two times in the face and three times in the gut before judo slamming her to the ground and doing an elbow drop.

He hoisted her up again and threw her into a trashcan, put the lid on, grabbed the nearby baseball bat and struck the can several times before sending it rolling into a wall.

Panting, Lincoln rested on his knees, horrified at what he had just done, and yet he also felt something else, something that felt oddly…cathartic? Then he heard Ryan snickering and applauding him before the latter pulled him into a one-armed hug.

"Well done! That was beautiful! Simply beautiful! You had it in you all along!"

"You…you're insane! Absolutely insane…" Lincoln lamented while in a daze.

"Pfffttt…don't act like you didn't want to do this for years, pipsqueak." Ryan chuckled snidely. "You just needed a push to finally grow a pair and do what needed to be done. Wait until we tell the girls about it, Lynn's gonna be so proud of you, and laugh her ass off!"

"Yeah, yeah…" an enraged Lincoln shoved his arm away. "You forced me to beat up a 5-year-old girl-

"Hellspawn." Ryan corrected him helpfully. "And we don't know how many years she spent in Ol' Scratch's employment? Time probably passes differently down-"

"Whatever!" Lincoln snapped at him. "Let's get to the finish line, shall we? Lynn still has a race to win!"

"Don't think I didn't see you smiling, buster." Ryan wiggled his eyebrows.

"No…no…what have you done to me, you sick maniac!" Lincoln hyperventilated and clutched his head.

"You just felt the sweet taste on revenge, that's all." Ryan shrugged.

"Let's just get back to the race!" the flustered Lincoln snapped.

"Alright, let's go." Ryan agreed and they ran off, leaving Luna all tied up, while a beaten-down Lola slowly crawled out of the dented trashcan.

"Can't…be over…" Lola said in a daze as she stepped out of the trash and rubbed her head. "Must stop…them…"

"Dude, can you please untie me?" Luna begged her but if the princess had heard, she didn't show it, for she just growled, grabbed the banana peel that was on top of her head and ran off.

"LOLA!" Luna cried. "Come back!"


Rita, the girls and Kathleen and her posse were still waiting at the finish line.

"I see someone!" Jenny exclaimed.

Lana's eyes widened. "It's Lynn! It's Lynn!"

"Lynn!" Lucy and Lisa smiled.

Lynn was sweating bullets as she herself was feeling burned-out, but she wouldn't give up. She was almost there, while her opponent was several dozen yards behind her.

Without her pit crew's help, Lori had no hope of outrunning Lynn, having to tap into every ounce of energy she had left just to keep Lynn in her sights. The jock, meanwhile, didn't look at her once, too fixated on her house, which grew bigger and bigger as she ran down a very familiar sidewalk, passing by the bus stop.

"I'm winning! I'm winning!" Lynn's eyes widened like dinner plates as the finishing line was a mere hundred yards away.

"Go, Lynn! Go!" Lana and Lisa cheered, and even Lucy smiled brightly and applauded her.

"Woohoo! Lynnsanity for the win!" the jock exclaimed and raised her fists when a rotting banana peel was thrown in front of her and Lynn slipped.

The onlookers gasped as she spun mid-air before faceplanting on the pavement. Lucy, Lisa and especially Lana all dropped their jaws in shock.

Not far from the jock, they saw a bruised, disheveled and trash-covered Lola grinning maniacally and pointing at her while supporting herself against a stop sign.

"Ha-ha!" she laughed in a deranged manner. "You slipped up!"

From the window, Luan's brow fell. "Oh…the banana peel is a cruel mistress."

"Lola!" Rita yelled. "You're in so much trouble, young lady!"

"Oh, don't worry, Mrs. Loud." Kathleen assured her. "They are playing by the rules."

"What now?" Rita made a face.

Seeing her little sister's humiliating fall, the sweaty, overheated Lori got her second wind (or fifth or sixth one) and laughed before sprinting towards the finish line.

"Lynn! Get up! C'mon, get up!" Lana cried desperately.

Groaning and dazed, Lynn lifted her head and shook it before seeing Lori zap past her.

"No!" Lincoln cried as he and Ryan arrived at Mr. Grouse's house.

"How did the little bitch get here?!" Ryan blurted incredulously after spotting Lola.

"Hah! I know shortcuts!" Lola laughed at them from the other side of the street.

"Nooo!" Lynn cried as Lori was approaching the finish line and tried picking herself up.

"Tough luck, twerp! Who's sucking pavement now!" Lori laughed crassly as she raised her hands and ran backward so she could see Lynn's sorry face.

"Enjoy servitude! Lori for the-OW!" Lori froze on the spot as her right leg twisted in an unnatural manner.

The onlookers blinked in surprise as Lori fell on her butt just fifteen yards from the finish line, clutched her leg and cried.

"OW! Cramp! Cramp!" she shed tears.

"Ah…it seems this sudden and excessive dose of physical exercise has caused severe muscle strain in Lori's leg?" Lisa deduced.

Lincoln blinked while Ryan beamed. "Ah! The unexpected twist that will save us!"

Lucy blinked under her bags. "That means-"

"Come on, Lynn! Get up!" Lana cried encouragingly. "You can make it!"

"Yes! Come on!" Lucy joined in.

Panting, Lynn sucked up all the pain from her nasty fall and stood up on wobbly legs. Taking a big gulp of air, she charged towards the finish line.

Lori's eyes widened in horror and she struggled to stand up. She tried to run again, but her cramp made her drop down almost instantly.

"No!" she cried as she saw Lynn closing in, sporting a determined look.

"No! She can't win!" Lori had no other option but to crawl towards the finish line.

"Come on, Lynn! Run faster!" Lana cried.

"Almost there!" a panting Lori was just three feet away from the finish line while Lynn quickened her pace, as the onlookers held their breath.

"Come on…" Lori said in a strained voice as her hand was just inches away from touching the finish line when Lynn ran past her, cutting through the ribbon.

A look of utter horror washed over Lori's features and she let out a small squeak.

"I've won?! Yes! YES!" Lynn cried with sheer, unbridled joy. "I've won!"

Lucy, Lisa, Lana, Luan and Leni all cheered while Ryan and Lincoln laughed with joy as the former grabbed and shook Lincoln, the latter's stupendous grin not faltering one bit.

"You did it, Lynn!" Lana jumped and glomped Lynn around the waist. "I knew you could do it!"

"I…all in a day's work, squirt." Lynn chuckled, while trying not to faint from her exhaustion and many bruises.

"You did it, Lynn! You won the duel!" Lisa was beside herself with ecstasy.

"Yes! You were incredible out there!" Lucy agreed, too happy to say anything snarky to Lynn.

Charles joined them, jumping and wagging his tail happily before letting out a victorious howl.

"Yay you! You're the winner!" Leni squealed and clapped her hands, earning odd looks from the others.

"Leni? You do realize you're part of the losing team?" her mother told her dryly.

"I know, mom! But we spent the whole day playing together!" Leni smiled brightly. "It's win-win for everyone!"

"I guess you have a point…" Rita gave up and shrugged. "At least that kept them out of my hair for the whole day….and?"

She looked at her eldest daughter, noticing her pathetic state and crushed expression, and a small smirk formed on Rita's lips. She knew this was incredibly immature for a woman in her 40s, but screw maturity! She earned this bit of fun!

Lola's jaw hit the ground and she plopped on her belly, as fresh tears of unadulterated anger and sadness poured down her faces like raging rivers.

"NO! No! No!" she sobbed and pounded the pavement. "It's not fair! Not fair! Not fair! Not fair!"

Lori could do nothing but stare in despair while the winners celebrated their victory and babble incoherently as the gravity of her loss slowly but steadily dawned on her.

"Well, looks like you took a gamble and lost, sweety." Rita told her in an even tone, trying to hide her immense schadenfreude. "If memory serves, the losers of the sibling duel will have to pay a hefty price?"

"Uhhh…you got that right, Mrs. L!" Ryan said deviously as he and Lincoln arrived on the scene, the former giving Lori a patronizing pat on the back.

"I've heard about karma being a bitch, but I never heard about it being a cramp." Ryan chuckled and gave her a wink. "Don't worry, I'll be sure to abuse you as much as possible."

Giggling with excitement, he ran off towards his team and Lincoln followed.

"Sorry, Lori. You win some, you lose some." He only gave Lori a passing look. After the stuff she and Lola had pulled, even he couldn't feel too much pity for them.

Tears poured down Lori's face as she gave her mother a pleading look. "Mooom?" she whined, hoping against hope her mother would do something.

"Sorry, Lori. My hands are tied here." Rita shrugged. "I can't change the rules of your treaty, can I?"

"But….but…but…" Lori stammered.

"So I reckon you and the others will be staying at Ryan's place this night and tomorrow as well?" Rita guessed, trying not to smile too much. "Don't worry, I'll pack your stuff."

She turned around, leaving Lori to choke on her salty tears and gave Lynn a simple, passing pat on the shoulder.

"Nice work, honey." Rita nodded before doing a double-take. "Wait? What happened to your head?"

"Um…one of Pinky and Moon Girl's nasty surprises." Ryan lied while Lisa wilted with guilt.

"You were amazing!" Lincoln was overwhelmed with joy. "You did it, Lynn! You saved us!"

"After putting our team in danger in the first place." Ryan snarked. "But then you turned the tide like a pro, and gave us the sweetest possible reward in the process!"

"Yes, it cannot be denied that things very much turned out in our favor." Lisa nodded.

"You guys…" Lynn gushed and grabbed Lincoln in a smothering, bone-crushing hug. "You were the best "pit crew" I could have asked for!"

"Iphm wphh nphppp…" Lincoln replied before falling over as he was let go and Lynn jumped at Ryan, wrapping her arms around him and causing him to spin around and blush madly.

"Are we the greatest team or what!" she laughed, while Luan glowered at the two suspiciously from the upper floor.

"Yup. And I kept my promise of not hurting your sisters." Ryan sent Lincoln a wry look, who in turn just rolled his eyes, but that didn't kill his buzz too much, since the pros of this particular victory far outweighed the cons.

Of course, Lincoln was the only person on his team who even saw any "cons".

"Let's all just agree that it's great that we have won." he smiled.

"Indeed." Lucy nodded. "And now we should start brainstorming ways we can torture Lori and her lackeys?"

An idea hit her. "Uh! Can I force one of them to serve as supper for my leech farm?"

"You have a leech farm?" Lisa asked.

"No. But me and Lana can always collect one by the end of the day?"

"Sure. I help ya with that." Lana smiled, savoring the idea of Lola being covered in leeches.

"Yup, at my place." Ryan wrung his hands. "Where no one can see or stop us from doing whatever we want to our slaves!"

Lisa cleared her throat. "Good on you guys, but I think I'll have to decline your invitation."

"Why?" Lincoln asked. "You were part of the team?"

"Yeah, they're your slaves as much as ours." Lucy smiled eerily.

"As appealing as that proposition sounds, I still have to decline." Lisa looked aside. "I need to focus my attention on…fixing Fenton? Yes, on fixing Fenton."

She pointed at the nearby fox-bot, who was twitching and once more chanting, "Dum dum dum, diddly-dum dilly-dum…"

"Actually, that's a great idea." Ryan scoffed. "Don't want any malfunctions that could lead to a robo-apocalypse…"

"And I can't come too." Lana hung her head sadly and whispered, "I need to tell our folks about you-know-what."

"You do that." Lynn nodded. "We can't sit on this any longer and don't worry, squirt. Should any of them grow suspicious of you, you'll have our full protection."

Lana smiled with relief.

"Awesome." Ryan clutched his hands. "So what are we waiting for? Let's shlep our slaves to my place!"

He grinned evilly at Lori, who was joined by Lola, who had crawled up to the house on her knees. The two whimpered as a passing pigeon did its business on Lola, prompting the two to break out crying and hug each other, while Leni walked over to comfort them.

"There, there." She said gently. "There's no reason to be sad? Remember the old saying, "We're all winners"!" Granted, she didn't exactly know the context of that phrase, but it sure sounded nice, warm and comforting.

She blinked and looked around. "Hey, where's Luna?"


"Hello! Can anyone help me?" Luna cried out feebly while still being tied to the telephone pole in the back alley, when a German Shepard walked up to her, smiling and flopping his tongue before moving closer and lifting his leg at her.

Luna's pupils shrank. "No! No! Back! Bad boy! I'm not a fire hydrant! Don't you even think…"

She gave up and just shuddered despondently as she felt something warm and wet pouring down her plaid skirt.


Well, we've reached a milestone, ladies and gents! The last day leading up to the dreaded date that is June the 29th is over and our heroes have not only won the duel but safely secured a means to keep the sisters away from the house. They've accomplished their ultimate goal. All's well that ends well? Obviously not, since there's still a number of loose plot threads that need resolution XD And there are some new ones coming, with some pretty big stakes. Let's just say that I didn't send Lynn Sr. and Albert to the attic for nothing XD

As for this chapter, my aim was to make it very fast and kinetic once the race started, as is only befitting a race. I found it easier to think of humorous wipeouts and other scenarios for the woodland setting than for the town, so I kept the town part relatively short, except for the part where the karmic Lola abuse reached its natural conclusion, with Lincoln himself beating her up (against his will that is), though she's not out of the woods yet, especially with Kathleen still being in the picture.

The next chapter will be another "aftermath" one, and Team Lori is going to suffer some more as slaves XD