A/N: Beta'd by Errihu.
Chapter Six
Sakura choked on her food for a second time that day. Though, through her years of swift teaching, she sprung up to her feet before the loud scream even finished, and forced the food in her throat down. She raced out the room without a second thought, except for a curse at herself in her mind.
'Damn it! What was I thinking?!'
Now it became all the clearer to her how much Rasa had meant his words. She wanted to believe this child held no ill intentions, and that the Gaara of her future, the one who would shield his village and friends from harm with his own body, was somehow inside this child. She had hoped this task would be a breeze, that she could allow him to come and go as he pleased without the worry of him laying a finger on anyone. Yet, as she ran through the hallway and down the stairs, it was the image of Gaara, how she had first met him, that came to her mind suddenly. Crazy, blood-thirsty, cold, and murderous, as hard as it was to believe now, she did know a different side of Gaara, and grimaced thinking that this child's mindset was more like his teenager self than his adult one.
'He's just a kid,' she kept telling herself, as if that gave him his innocence alone.
But to those thoughts, it was the voices of people she just recently met speaking in her mind. Rasa's warnings, Temari's distaste, Annaisha's pride for her taking up this task, even the acts of ninjas who jumped back at the sight of Gaara, the extra steps his siblings had to take to shield away from him, Gaara's own angry stare towards her; it was all of these that made her rethink her stance on the boy's naivety. Surely now, taking in that deafening scream, he was not at all like the other kids she had passed by in Konoha.
He was Gaara, different.
Sakura found herself racing once more into the kitchen, skidding to a halt when she caught sight of the vibrant red hair. She watched him standing in front of the fridge, catching his sand at just the last moment planting the cookie jar into his small hands. She blinked, dumbfounded at the sight she clearly was not expecting before Gaara buried his hands into the jar and stuffed cookies hastily into his mouth.
"Sakura..."
Her name had been whispered, and she turned her eyes to catch sight of the old lady from before, who watched over Temari and Kankuro, shaking and staring wide-eyed at the redhead while fallen on the floor. In front of her, stood Annaisha, once again holding a cooking utensil out in front of her as if it were some sort of weapon. She had been the one calling Sakura's name, and like the old lady, her eyes were wide and riddled with fear.
"Get him out of here," Annaisha whispered frantically to the rosette.
Through the silence that followed, save for Gaara's hurried eating noises, Sakura's hearing caught something else in the air, and her eye's fell once more to the old, trembling lady. She was mumbling something frenetic, though her eyes were set purely on the small boy's back. The rosette took a moment, straining her ears to catch wind of what the old women was saying. It didn't take the young woman long to realize she was reciting words Sakura had been told over and over again here.
"Do not run. Do not run. If you run, he will chase you."
The old woman kept repeating this phrase over and over under her breath. Meanwhile, Sakura took a moment to study Gaara again, and sighed when she realized the only harm he had committed at this time was stealing cookies. This mad fear the other women in this room had was not justified in her mind. Gaara did not deserve the way they looked at him now.
Right?
Once again, doubt came to her, for she remembered once again his teenage self, the way his father had described him. Everything that made her doubt his innocence again poured into her mind as she watched him bury cookies into his mouth still.
"Sakura..."
Again, Annaisha whined towards her, and it made Sakura shake off her thoughts.
"Gaara," Sakura said, striding over to him. "Let's go back to your room. We can eat in there."
Again, her words did not move him. He ate while staring mindlessly at the fridge in front of him. To which, Sakura sighed, it was one thing to let him ignore her in the sanctuary of his room, yet here, in front of others, she knew it was her task to draw him away from others. She could not allow him to not hear her.
"Gaara," Sakura spoke a little more loudly this time. "We have to go back to your room."
Still nothing, and Sakura sighed. She didn't want to be the bad guy in his eyes, but realized she was given no more choice.
"Gaara, listen to me," she finally said. "No more cookies. We have food up in your room. We're going back. Now."
Her words were still not enough, and she somewhat knew they would not be, so she reached for the jar in his hands. As soon as her fingers graced the pottery, Gaara pulled the jar, and himself, away from her. Now she finally had his attention, but it was the look of anger and defiance he sent her. It shook Sakura for a moment, before her bold determination returned, and her gaze narrowed to match his.
"Gaara," she said, warning in her tone. "Give me the cookies. You can't have any more."
The young woman could see something flash in Gaara's eyes. Whatever it was, it looked downright evil, and Sakura swore she could suddenly feel rage radiating off of the young boy. Yet, she stood there undeterred, for others depended her on the moment. So, she stretched her arm out and opened her palm to the boy in front of her.
"Give them to me. Now."
Though she kept her strong front outwardly in appearance, she was surprised to see Gaara suddenly hiss at her like some sort of animal, and again his eyes flashed with some dangerous intent. His emotion must have been so strong that moment, for Sakura could hear the old woman mumbling more loudly and frantically while Annaisha took the second to shed some light onto the situation.
"I was told his last caregiver gave him whatever he wanted."
Her voice was quiet, shaky, but Sakura suddenly had an understanding why the boy was suddenly so non-compliant with her. Not only because she was a new person in his life, someone he had no trust in, but because she didn't heed his angry eyes.
'He's spoiled,' Sakura thought. 'Spoiled, and angry. Bad combination.'
"Just let him have the cookies," Annaisha pleaded once more.
Perhaps it was because she was stubborn. Maybe it was because she kept her pride strong. That, or it could be because she knew the right thing to do was not to allow this child to walk all over her. He was young, he was stupid. She was the adult here, the smart one. She held the authority, not him. It was her duty now to make sure he learned what was acceptable, and what wasn't. It would be her teachings now that formed the great leader she knew Gaara would become. Again, she motioned her arm for him to hand over the jar, and again he scowled at her while pressing the cookies closer to his chest.
A minute would pass in silence, the other waiting for the other to give in, before Annaisha spoke up again.
"Please, Sakura," she begged. "Just let him have it. He is getting angry."
The rosette and young boy did not turn to the cook's words, ignoring her and focusing at the other in front of them. The old woman, who sat on the floor still and shook, finally found her voice outside of her quiet chanting.
"Give him what he wants," she whispered barely loud enough for Sakura to hear. "Yashamaru always-"
The old woman let out a small whimper, unable to finish her sentence, when the jar in Gaara's hands suddenly fell. Broken pieces and cookie crumbs littered the floor now, and Sakura took a moment to study the damage before looking back up at the boy. She was curious why he had dropped and broken the container, maybe his way of rebelling against her, she thought. Still, the young woman's face fell when she saw Gaara's sudden trembling form. With his wide eyes to the ground, his breathing heavy and fast, Sakura knew she had seen this look somewhere before. No matter how many years it had been, no matter how young Gaara was in front of her, she knew the situation in front of her had suddenly turned very dangerous. She tried to think of the reason why. Was he just a time bomb waiting to blow, and this had been the moment? Or was it something else? The old woman's words perhaps.
'Who is Yashamaru?' Sakura wondered.
Sakura realized the question would have to wait, now was not the time for such things and wonders. Not when the boy in front of her was now clutching his head and whimpering slightly. The rosette drew closer to him, surprised he did not look her way to her motion, and knelt down to one knee in front of him.
"Gaara," Sakura spoke softly, trying to get his eyes back on her. "Are you alright?"
He did not answer her, instead his breathing had become louder, his hands on his head gripped harder, and his whimpering became more frequent. Sakura frowned all the more, something inside of her told her to back away, to get as far away from him as she could. Perhaps it came from the time she last saw this look, when she was young, naive, and unsure of herself. Yet an ache in her heart made her stay, and again she wondered what psychological damage he could be going through at such a young age.
"Can you hear me?" she spoke again.
His eyes were on the floor in front of him, yet as Sakura studied them more, she realized how they wavered, moving from side to side every so often. He would open his mouth, as if about to speak before shutting it closed, and he repeated this over and over as time went by.
"He's talking to him."
A panicked voice suddenly rang out, and Sakura turned once more to look at the fallen old lady. With Gaara's sudden invisible distraction, the two woman took the opportunity to straighten themselves out.
'Him?' Sakura wondered, tilting her head in confusion.
The old woman noticed Sakura's quizzical look.
"Come on, enough talking," Annaisha said as she pushed the older lady towards the door. "Let's get out of here."
Before the other caregiver was ushered away, she locked eyes with Sakura once more to answer her puzzling look.
"Ichibi," she mouthed.
Sakura's eyes widened at this, and she quickly whipped her head to look back at Gaara. The way his eyes darted, his mouth moved, the way he tilted his head back and forth ever so slightly, all of this was because the creature inside his head was stirring? She couldn't recall a time she ever saw Naruto act this way. Then again, she never really interacted with Naruto at a young age like Gaara was now. Maybe everything was unstable because he was simply a child.
'What a burden. Why did they do this to him?' Sakura thought with a grimace.
Behind her Annaisha spoke one last time before disappearing.
"You shouldn't stay, Sakura-sama," she said.
Instead of dwelling on the young girl's advice, it was the old lady who piqued Sakura's interest suddenly.
'She seems to know quite a bit. I should talk to her soon.'
Another whimper cam suddenly from Gaara, and his lips twitched ever so slightly that Sakura leaned her face down and towards him. She hoped his eyes would meet with hers, but instead he looked past her. She could tell he was far away from her now, not physically but mentally.
"Gaara?" she tried. "Can you hear me?"
Sakura sighed when nothing changed, and she frowned at the thought of the monster in his head. What were his words to the young child? At a young age, she had a sense that the Ichibi, and all other tailed beasts, were evil. That of course had changed during the war, but she still wondered what was happening inside the boy's head now. Did Shukaku whisper dark promises into his mind? Is that why he grew up to be the twisted teenager Sakura remembered him to be? If this were true, why had Naruto come out differently with his own monster in his head?
'Because he had us,' Sakura remembered quickly.
Sakura's frown grew as she blinked at Gaara once more. From what she had seen so far, no one came to his side but she. She, who wasn't even suppose to be here now. She, who really had no attachment to the redhead except a knowledge that his older self was a good man.
'Does he truly have no one that cares for him?' Sakura thought.
She continued to ponder if Gaara had been cast aside since his birth. It would explain the distance he held for others, would explain his erratic behavior she learned him to have. Would explain why it was only her now, kneeling next to him and trying to draw back his attention. To these thoughts, the dislike she held for Rasa grew.
'Bastard. He's just a child,' she thought.
Sakura finally reached out for the young boy, settling a gentle hand on his trembling back. Yet, at the small contact, her hand was slapped away as Gaara finally took notice of her. He stepped away from her fast, his eyes angry and watching her for sudden movements. From her hands to her eyes, his eyes went to and fro, watching her intently. The older woman recognized this, her frown heavy when she realized he was still on guard of her. That she was still a threat in his eyes.
"It's alright," she spoke softly. "I'm not going to harm you."
His eyes didn't move from hers then, and he only narrowed them more the longer time passed.
"I'm here to take care of you," Sakura continued. "I'm a friend. I'm-"
"Liar!"
Sakura's eyes widened to the boy's sudden cry. It was the loudest she had heard him thus far, and she was taken slightly aback to both his voice and label of her. He glared more at her, perhaps waiting for her retaliation before speaking again.
"Leave. Me. Alone."
He accentuated each word then, as if she were the misunderstanding child between them. Time between them again passed with silence, eyes locked, for Sakura was now at a loss for what to say. Words could only take her so far, and she realized then Gaara would not see her as anything more at this time. So, she nudged her head lightly to the side.
"Come on," she said, trying to force a small smile. "Let's go back to your room. We can eat. We can get you in some clean clothes, and-"
"No."
Her mouth dropped slightly to his defiance. Now what was she to do exactly? She wanted to show him she meant well, but how would she be allowed when he was so against her? She didn't want to raise her voice to him, for she worried he would lash out. To these thoughts, she sighed.
'I do not know how to care for a child,' she admitted once more, as if that would help her in any way now.
Maybe, she thought after some time, if she put a little trust in him, he would see her intentions as a good one in time. So, she again forced a smile, to which the boy's eyes flinched slightly at seeing.
"Ok," Sakura said. "We can do something else. What would you like to do?"
Gaara's body was still tense, and he said nothing as Sakura hummed in her spot. Again, she was puzzled what a child would want at this moment, and decided once more to put her trust in Gaara's hands.
"Surely there must be something," Sakura smiled. "We could go play up in your room, or you could show me the house."
"…"
Sakura sighed at the silence, upset she was failing once more.
"Surely there was something fun you and your last caretaker did together," Sakura mumbled.
The young woman knew her words had been the wrong ones the second her eyes fell back to Gaara's. His orbs were wide, jaw slightly agape, and he held a look of shock, as if she should have known better than to say such a thing. Perhaps that idea was true, for she was still lost and confused in this world, and how to support the child in front of her. Yet, before the rosette could apologize, Gaara's face fell, anger had returned, and all of it was focused on her.
It was a rage she had yet to see in him, and she tensed up slightly the more his death glare met her. He looked ready to strike, and if he knew she didn't have the strength to fend him off, he probably would have. Meanwhile, Sakura gulped, trying to decipher what to do next. Should she apologize? Play dumb and ask him what was now wrong? In honesty, she didn't understand how her words suddenly provoked something inside of him.
Her attention was back on him as he scowled towards her, and let out a loud groan as if he was irritated by her. At least, that was her impression of it, maybe he was actually trying to scare her away by making loud noises. Whatever reason for it, though, was soon forgotten as he turned from her and ran fast out of the kitchen.
"Gaara!" She cried.
She was quick to her feet, trying to catch up to the young boy. Throwing herself out of the kitchen, her heart instantly sank when she caught a glimpse of him sprinting out the home entirely through the front door. She stood frozen for a moment, her mind forming an image of a disapproving Rasa.
"You are to keep him from harming others," Sakura's thoughts repeated his words.
Yet, here she stood, watching the angry child throwing himself into the world of innocent lives. Of people who would run from him despite the warnings, ones that did not have the strength to crumble his sand, of many villagers who had no knowledge that they relied on her to keep them separated from the danger Gaara could bring. To that last thought, Sakura picked up her feet again and raced to the door.
Staring outside, her eyes found his vibrant red hair with ease. He was a distance away now, no longer sprinting but trudging slowly with determination to get away. Sakura ran once more, catching up to him and calling out.
"Gaara!" she cried. "Come back!"
She glanced around them, glad to see no one was around to lay eyes on the scene about them. She worried a panic may start, much like what had happened in the kitchen, and it also gave her time. Time to diffuse the ticking bomb walking away from her.
"Listen to me, Gaara!" Sakura cried.
His back was hunched slightly as she drew closer, yet his stride was still strong, as if he had a destination in mind to be. Sakura was set on stopping him though, and reached for his shoulder as soon as she came close enough.
"I said, stop!"
Her voice was loud only for a brief second. Her fingers didn't even get a chance to grace him before sand flew towards her face. It wasn't much, but it startled her enough to make her step back from the child and watch him leap slightly into the air. The grains below him picked up and swam around him, shielding him away from Sakura's touch and gaze. As quick as they picked up, they fell once more to the ground, leaving the boy completely disappeared and Sakura standing there alone.
"Shit." She cursed, spinning on her heels in hopes of catching Gaara's colorful hair once more.
Seeing nothing around her but buildings and sand, Sakura dragged her hands over her eyes and face, an annoyed groan following soon after.
"Why me?" she mumbled. "Why do I have to do this?"
"He is dangerous."
It was Rasa's voice again playing in her mind, reminding her that she could not turn a blind eye in this situation.
"Help me, and I will help you."
She also had a much bigger reason to do her job at hand properly. Kage were powerful, surely he would have an answer for her over her biggest dilemma, getting back home. Rasa would definitely give her his hand in aid if she did what he asked, right?
Sakura sighed again, turning her head in the direction she could hear people chattering away, going about their routine lives. She jogged lightly through the village, slowing her pace every time someone glanced her way. Causing a panic was not what she aimed to do. Despite her searching, she could not call out the boy's name for fear of frightening the villagers around her.
She looked to and fro. Going to every place her mind could remember in Suna, while stumbling into new territory she never knew the village to have. Well, that, or it was destroyed or replaced in the time she was familiar with.
"I do not know how to care for a child," Sakura whispered to herself, staring at the empty playground in front of her.
Her search had started with the sun in the sky, now she was trudging to random places with a beautiful orange, and pink sunset above. She didn't need to look at a clock to know her search had been a long one, and while it was draining her knowing Gaara hadn't crossed her path once, she was at least grateful she had heard no screams of terror within the village. As upset as the child was, how dangerous and irrational people claimed him to be, no more destruction had fallen Suna today thus far.
Sakura took a moment to look up at the colorful sky above her, contemplating what to do next. She imagined with his powers, if Gaara wanted to stay hidden from her, that was probably something she couldn't change at the moment. His sand hid him from her, that fact was obvious all the more to her now while she stood there in solitude. If there wasn't a sense of danger that the boy gave off before leaving, she would have probably allowed him to have his time on his own. Everyone needed that. Everyone deserved that.
Even Gaara.
"Please," she begged the dark clouds, "just don't let me find out he ran away again. Please, just let him come back home."
Sakura closed her eyes then, taking in a deep breath of fresh air. She whispered these words because she worried the Kazekage would go back on his promise if he ever found out of this mishap. Yet, thinking of the distant child, how others viewed and treated him thus far, she worried for his welfare as well.
"He's not a bad guy," Sakura said, reminding herself once again. "Just misunderstood. Nobody realizes yet the good he will bring."
Bringing her head down from the sky, Sakura glanced once more around the empty playground. No life could be seen by her, just some grains of earth sweeping by with the help of a fleeting breeze. To which, she sighed once more with a sense of failure. Turning on the spot, she slowly made her way back home, her mind full of questions, but above the rest, she simply wondered where the child could have fled to.
She glanced down at her dirty clothes the minute she stepped back into the giant home. Through her missions growing up, Sakura became undeterred of her dirty wear when an assignment given to her lasted longer then the amount of clothes she packed; or when in enemy territory, where a bath and fresh underwear were a luxury long forgotten. Still, that didn't stop the woman from morphing her face into distaste looking down at her dirty wear and skin. She wasn't on a mission far away from a bath. She had no excuse for herself.
"Maybe I should bathe, and rest," she told herself, looking up the stairs.
She had a plan. Simple, she could do it. Yet, she still stood frozen at the doorway, rubbing her temple back and forth, and thinking of the boy in the world outside.
"He's probably starving," Sakura whispered to herself.
Remembering him from earlier, how torn and dirtier his clothes were than hers, she frowned.
"He needs a bath, too."
She groaned while dragging her hands down her face, not sure why she couldn't get Gaara out of her head now. The image of him sick earlier played in her mind, and while she knew sleep was forbidden for him, she couldn't help but feel her heart ache for the child thinking how worn he must be.
"He's probably so tired..."
Sakura let out a loud moan of annoyance, looking back and forth from the stairs back to the entrance she just came in from.
'Should I go look for him again?'
Knowing this concern for him was not going to leave anytime soon, Sakura turned to leave and search again, but stopped in her tracks when she heard a small giggle behind the kitchen door. She didn't need to second guess it, she knew that laughter belonged to a child, and strolled quickly over towards the kitchen.
'Did he come back on his own?' Sakura thought, a smile on her when she realized he was probably back in there searching for cookies.
Her smile did not fall when she entered the room, instead her eyes scoured for the vibrant red, and she called his name.
"Gaara?"
Her smile was strong, but it faltered immediately at the three pairs of eyes that were now on her. None of them belonged to the child she sought, and she stood there awkwardly as they took in her baffling interruption to their dinner. Sakura's eyes bounced to each of them, from Kankuro to Temari, and then up to the old lady she assumed to be these children's caregiver. She had been the same one earlier who asked Temari to put her hair up, and also the very same who stared in fear while Gaara ate cookies before running from Sakura. The old lady held so much fear then, and Sakura recognized it still strong as she stared towards her with a hanging jaw.
"You lost the boy…?" she whispered with a panic brewing.
Sakura's hands were up in a flash, and she forced a grin on her face.
"N-No! Of course not," she laughed "Just thinking out loud. He is up in his room of course."
The old woman's stare was hard, but she nodded in time, accepting the answer before turning to the two kid's at the table.
"Continue your meal."
The kids obeyed, and Sakura took a step back, about to take her leave and allow them to dine in peace. Yet, taking one more glance at the old lady, the scenario from before replayed in her mind. This woman had uttered a name earlier, and it seemed to have triggered some reaction out of Gaara.
'What was it again?' Sakura asked herself in her mind. 'Assanaru? Yishamara? Yashamaru? Ah, right...'
Sakura strolled over to a seat next to Kankuro, feeling the boy's stare on her the whole time as she settled down.
"Is it alright if I sit next to you?" she smiled down at the child.
Though his eyes were curious, Sakura worried his bashful nature would drive him away from her, but instead he eventually returned a smile of his and a nod of approval. He returned to his meal, and Sakura turned to the old woman.
"I'm Sakura, by the way. I don't think we've properly met."
"Shiori. I am Temari-sama, and Kankuro-sama's caretaker," the old woman replied before biting into her meal again.
"Shiori-san, huh?" Sakura repeated, earning the older woman's eyes on her.
Sakura tried to pinpoint a moment she may have met this old lady before; but her name, along with her face, were a new one to her. She also looked late into her age, it was possible she had passed before Sakura had made her first travel to Suna.
"Nice to meet you," Sakura finished.
"Nice to meet you," the old woman replied.
Despite the casual greeting, Shiori's look was long and hard towards Sakura, and the old woman swallowed before speaking once again.
"Do you think it wise to leave him on his own for this long?"
Surprised at first, Sakura was about to retort that he was a child, and ask what harm could possibly happen? Yet, before she could utter a single word, her mind reminded her of the child they spoke of.
'That's right. Gaara. He is not like other children.'
Instead, Sakura returned the older woman's stare.
"He will be alright. I will not be long," Sakura replied.
It was at this point, Sakura realized the eyes of the children were staring once more at her. She wondered how blind they were to her and Shiori's conversation. Did they know they spoke of their brother? Did they also have a sense of dread knowing Sakura was here and Gaara on his own? It made Sakura wonder briefly what sort of panic would ensue if she told them the truth of Gaara. That he had run off to the outside world, without a clue from anyone where he was hiding. Their eyes were curious, but as she looked at both of them, Sakura could sense their cautiousness.
They were just as afraid.
For Sakura, it was another heartache to see this. Gaara was their brother, their family. It gave the rosette some comfort to at least know this would change in the future.
Quick to ease their minds, Sakura playfully picked at Kankuro's food, popping some of it into her mouth. She winked at him when his eyes found hers again, and she was relieved to see his smile grow before letting out a small chuckle.
"I'll go back once I finish off your food," Sakura teased, her hand playfully reaching for his plate once more.
The brunette boy's laughter grew, and he shielded his meal from Sakura's teasing hands.
"Sakura! Guess what?!"
It was the blonde girl who called out to her casually, much to Sakura's surprise, and her smile was big when Sakura took notice of her.
"Hm?" Sakura replied, nodding her head that she had heard the girl.
"I got a new fan to train with!"
Sakura's eyes widened briefly, surprised to hear of Temari's training. She seemed so young to be learning just yet, still, the rosette forced a grin.
"That's great. I'll have to come watch you train sometime."
"I'm really good!" Temari boasted. "Sensei says he'll teach me to fly with it someday. Kankuro needs more training though, he isn't that good with his puppets."
Sakura could hear the small boy whine in disapproval next to her, no doubt Temari's words were meant to be secret. Shiori picked up on this quick, hushing Temari and telling her once more to finish her dinner. To this, a silence fell for some time, and it was Sakura's thoughts of earlier that came back.
"Shiori-san, may I ask you something?" Sakura broke the silence with a soft voice.
Shiori's eyes were back on Sakura. Perhaps Sakura's curiosity had piqued then, or she worried Shiori would hint for her to return to Gaara, but for whatever reason, Sakura was quick to ask before the old woman could even reply.
"Who is Yashamaru?"
