Can I recommend you all some other fics-
Giant Waves by 157yrs.
Old Faces Turned New, and Affection Given by Magical Muffin Ride.
Chapter Thirteen
For the most part they remained in his room. Quite boring for Sakura, but she held on to her sanity with books, scrolls, and tending to the child when he needed it. For Gaara, he seemed to pay the confinement no mind, but there were times when the rosette would watch him curiously open up all the windows he could in his room. He would then stare into the outside world with a blank expression.
"Can we go get kakigori again?" he would ask feverishly on those days.
"If you behave we can," she would answer.
And he would, for Sakura could sense him becoming stir-crazy at times. She wasn't sure if this was normal behavior, or if he imprisoned himself within this room because of her, but she would be left wondering why the boy rarely asked to go outside. He was mistreated in the outside world, maybe that was why he shackled himself within his personal prison. Nobody could hurt him with words in here, or maybe it was the fear of his father that made him linger. Whatever reason, Sakura could see a small change in Gaara when it was obvious he longed for fresh air. Aside from opening all the windows, his toys would receive rough treatment.
Sakura sighed one day, closing her book and walking over towards the child, when she noticed he was nonchalantly ripping his stuffed animals and smashing the plastic ones to bits. It wasn't her first time seeing this, but it would be her first to acknowledge the act. As she knelt down to his level, she could feel a small breeze enter through one of the opened windows, brushing the small hairs on her neck.
"Gaara," she called to him softly.
He did not answer.
"What are you doing?" she asked. "You shouldn't do this to your toys. You'll run out of things to play with."
He didn't listen to her. Only when Sakura slowly reached for one of the playthings in his hand did he pause and watch her fingers pull the toy away from him. He let her take it, and stared at his palms where the toy once was before blinking a few times as if he was lost in thought.
Meanwhile, Sakura was studying the toy, making sure the damage to it wasn't bad enough to be declared broken and thrown away.
"I'm bored," Gaara finally admitted to his palms before turning to look at Sakura.
She looked back at him before nodding in agreement.
"Me too," she smiled. "Want me to read you your new book?"
Sakura laughed when Gaara narrowed his eyes. It seemed the boy had lost interest in that book the second she brought it home, and it only sat on the table collecting dust now. Perhaps he wasn't the reader she had imagined, and chuckled still at his obvious distaste.
"What do you want to do then?" Sakura asked.
Gaara paused for a moment, once again thinking.
"Kakigo-"
"Later! I keep telling you, later!" Sakura reminded him once more.
He was beginning to annoy her with his frequent requests for the sweet ice that Sakura had actually gripped the toy in her hand a little too hard. It snapped in her fingers, a loud crack ringing in both of their ears, and together they watched the toy's broken pieces fall from her grip.
"Ah!" Gaara was surprisingly the first to call out, pointing to the plastic portions on the floor.
Silence followed after, Gaara mesmorized by the broken toy while Sakura hissed at herself.
"I'm sorry, Gaara," she quickly apologized. "I'll get you another one..."
Still, the boy was quiet and was still staring at the pieces. Even before Sakura could ask if he was alright, he scooted his small body closer and placed his small hands on Sakura's leg, using it as a leverage to peer more over her and to the broken toy. The surprise of that contact on Sakura's part didn't last long as Gaara's eyes were quick to steal back her attention.
"You broke it," he whispered, hands leaning onto her leg still.
Sakura sighed, remorse settling in.
"Sorry," she apologized again, "sometimes I forget my own strength."
She worried his eyes would turn sad when she looked back at him, but was surprise instead to see some amusement in his teal orbs.
"You killed it," he smiled. "You killed it just like I killed that scarpien."
"Scor-pi-en," Sakura corrected him before her face fell to his words. "And I didn't kill it. It's a toy."
The boy was smiling once more, but his grin this time wasn't one of the darkly ones that came across his face from time to time. No, this was a child's smile, one she had only seen once before at the time she asked for a cookie from him, and the more he stared at her small destruction, the more his smile seemed to grow. She was in awe staring at his lit up face, for no matter how happy she knew Gaara to be she didn't possibly think a smile so big would ever grace him.
He pushed himself off of her leg, the bounce giving him some momentum to run quickly to his toy box before bringing back another plastic toy. He fell to his knees next to Sakura once again and offered her this new toy with a strong smile.
"Again," he ordered before she could even ask.
Sakura was flabbergasted.
"What?!" she asked. "You want me to break another one?"
"Yea!" Gaara beamed, tightening his hands around the small toy, mimicking her. "Crush it again."
Sakura was hesitant, but nonetheless picked up the toy he offered her within her hands before staring down at it with uncertainty, and a frown. Was it healthy this boy was excited because of her destructive power? Did he find this amusing on a much darker level, or was it just a child admiring her strength? Again, he drew closer towards her with anticipation, and she turned to look back at his smile.
"I shouldn't break your toys like this," she tried to convince him otherwise. "You might regret this later on. What if you want to play with it but can't?"
His gaze wasn't on her but instead on the toy in her grip. His eyes were big with delight, and he leaned in all the more closer with anticipation building.
"Break it," he whispered with fixed eyes.
Sakura's frown only turned heavier as it traveled from the young boy and to the toy in her hands. She thought again to protest, but sighed at the idea of him becoming disappointed. It wasn't like they couldn't go out and replace the cheap thing anyway. Gaara's father had made it abundantly clear that all of the child's physical needs, clothes, foods, entertainment, would be met at the snap of Gaara's fingers.
'It's too bad Rasa turns a cold shoulder to Gaara's most important need,' Sakura sadly thought.
Sakura turned her sad eyes back to the boy, surprised his teal orbs were looking up at her curiously. Before she could apologize and refuse his wish, he surprised her with a small, sheepish smile. She was left in slight awe at his happy features. Usually she was the one to grace him with a smile first before he rarely returned the gesture. She turned her eyes quickly away then.
'Damn it!' she thought. 'He can be a pretty cute kid with that smile!'
For a minute, she wondered the more damage he could do with such a sweet smile than the heinous frown people often saw on him. She knew she lost the argument the moment he turned the small grin in her direction, so it was unfair that he continued to push her by asking her so innocently.
"Please?"
'Damn it!' Sakura cursed once more before turning her face back towards him.
She tried to keep a stern face while looking at him, but instead all he saw was her red face once again twitching while she tried to keep a straight look. She wanted to show him his smile hadn't been the thing to persuade her otherwise into breaking this toy. She did not want him to learn how dangerous his smile truly was.
"Just-Just this once!" she cried, aiming the toy in his face as if she was lecturing him.
Soon enough, she brought the plaything back and stared down at it along with Gaara. Looking back down at it her uncertain frown, and second thoughts, returned. Yet, when she saw Gaara's red hair under her, eyes peering with want, she was quick to shake off those thoughts.
Much quicker this time than the last, she squeezed the toy again with her strength, and Gaara's wide eyes were set on the small destruction the whole time. His grin, and eyes, growing the more broken pieces fell from her hand. As Sakura dropped the rest of the bits of the toy onto the floor, she realized Gaara's hands had again found her leg, and he had gripped her tightly at the scenario. She was about to open her mouth to speak, but stopped and watched in astonishment as the boy began to chuckle lightly.
His laugh was breathy, and low, as if this experience was unfamiliar to him and he had yet to grasp the concept. Which, was probably true, since this was the first time Sakura was listening to him laugh. She had heard him chortle darkly once before, but that cackle then and his chuckling now were in two different lights. While the young woman had never seen a young one find this sort of amusement over a broken toy, her own smile grew when she saw Gaara's eyes shut tight, and his grin big as he laughed through his teeth.
'Took him long enough,' Sakura thought, before commending herself. 'You got a laugh out of him. Good job.'
She watched him still as he once again took flight from her side and back to his box of toys.
'Oh no,' Sakura thought when he returned with two more toys this time.
He took a seat next to the rosette before eying the two toys carefully that were in each of his hand. Sakura already knew what he was going to ask before he even offered her one of the toys.
"No," she said before he could even inquire. "Not again. You know, you're suppose to take care of these, not break them."
Gaara still handed her the toy as if he had not heard her, and Sakura sighed taking the toy still in her hand despite what she was telling him. She frowned once more at the plastic.
"Together."
"Huh?" Sakura whispered, her eyes on Gaara in wonder as he said this.
Though, she wished she had kept her eyes away, for once again did he show off that small smile that could win over anyones heart.
"Let's break them together," he repeated.
A noise of grains suddenly hit her ears, and she watched from his gourd as sand wrapped around the toy he held. From his grip to his sand the toy was taken, but next to her hand the sand brought his toy next to the one she held. She felt Gaara once again scoot his body close next to hers and peer over her with anticipation.
'No...' Sakura argued in her mind, but knew the boy had already won her over with his laugh and smile.
So, she gripped the toy once again, telling herself this was alright since it was blossoming the boy's happiness. He seemed so sad, and angry, for most of the time that she didn't want to shatter the sudden happiness he had watching his toys break. So with that thought, and a pout, Sakura slowly crushed the toy in her hand like the last two. She also watched, and listened, as his sand followed her example. His sand made the small toy squeak before its stuffing began to rip through and fabric before littering the floor. She sighed when she realized all around them were broken pieces, and destruction. Yet, she couldn't stop her smile forming once again when Gaara's smile grew a little more, and she met his eyes at the perfect time as he was just turning his giant grin back at her.
"We killed them together!" he chuckled.
"Hey now..." Sakura groaned. "They're toys. We didn't kill them."
She sighed at the child's dark thoughts. She had finally managed some joy, and laughter, out of him and yet his thoughts were still of killing and destruction.
'I hope this is alright...' Sakura thought, trying to believe all of this was innocent.
"Again!" Gaara beamed, shooting from the floor and turning to race for his box of toys.
Sakura was much quicker though, and was able to nab the boy's wrist before he even sprinted.
"No!" Sakura said. "No more! Breaking things isn't what we should be doing to pass the time."
She waited on the boy to acknowledge her, but instead his eyes were fixated on the hand that held him back. He tilted his head back and forth, curiously staring at their connection before his eyes slowly went back up to hers. He had lost his smile, and his cheerful aura. His eyes on her now were stern, but also held curiosity in them.
"What's wrong?" Sakura asked, unsure if the boy was growing upset with her holding him.
He turned to face her fully, drawing himself closer to her hold.
"Are you going to crush my hand now? Just like my toys," he asked in a low voice.
To his serious eyes, and voice, Sakura knew his question was no joke, and she quickly let go of him in surprise.
"Gaara," she mouthed, shocked his mind would suddenly think her to hurt him. "Why would you think that?"
He was quiet, staring at her still, and she him. His gaze was steady while hers was shaky trying to read the blank emotions through his eyes. When he didn't answer her, she refused to let his silence slide this time.
"Weren't we just having fun? How could you think I would want to hurt you still after all this time?"
To her question, Sakura already knew this answer. That his upbringing made his mind flip-flop at inappropriate times. It was how he was treated so far for him to think Sakura wanted nothing but to hurt him. Yet, at the same time, was this by chance the first time he had smiled and laughed so freely? Did he not feel at ease just moments ago? How could the grace of her touch make him feel so threatened suddenly?
He was still quiet, but Sakura could see his steady gaze waver slightly. Just as much as she silently studied him, he now tried to read her expression.
"You remind me of him."
Sakura eyes widened briefly for a moment to Gaara's answer. Who was he referring to? Someone good, someone bad? It seemed only bad people had come into his life, so it troubled her a little more than it should have for Sakura to hear that. Not to mention, the distant look he was giving her now didn't give her any confidence that he was praising her.
"Who?" Sakura whispered, watching his distant gaze return.
He opened his mouth for a moment, but paused before any words came out. He was struggling once more whether how much he wanted to reveal to her, but eventually did answer her after much thought.
"He would play with me too."
Sakura smiled then.
'So, someone else was kind to him beforehand?' she wondered.
Yet, her smile fell to his long frown, and now hard gaze. His eyes had even narrowed some towards her, probably upset that she bore a grin to his words. Without him even having to say it, Sakura understood the outcome of this story was not a happy one. She finally understood now that his words had not meant to compliment her. It was a way, his way, of telling her that he was wary of her. That despite everything, she did not have his trust. He was willing to laugh and smile with her at times, but was also very aware of the power she had over him.
Figuring all this out with time and silence, Sakura smirked at the young boy.
"Alright," she whispered to him. "I get it now."
Though he didn't understand her words entirely, his eyes were still hard on her; he did his best not let her see his confusion and uncertainty. Yet, he jumped lightly when Sakura's hand sneaked its way into his, taking a small grip of his fingers. Before he could pull back and tear away from her, she spoke to trap him with her words.
"You're right," she whispered with a playful grin. "I think I will crush you."
The boy's face was quick to fall, and his eyes even widened. Yet, before he could counter in any way, Sakura gripped his hand a little tighter before pulling him in to her chest. A quick gasp escaped him, and he even gave a small whimper of protest and fright. Yet, before he could pull away from the rosette, she encased her arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace.
Though in her mind, Sakura's intent was both playful and affectionate, she realized her action may have just been a tad too forward. For while she held him in a hug, she could see that his sand had raced for her as the boy had gone on guard to her words, and quick action.
Yet, as Gaara stood stiffened in her hold, so too had the sand froze from encasing her. Instead, its grains were aimed at her, warningly, ready to strike at any given moment, but they did not move, and neither did the little boy in her hold for some time. Another unfamiliar gesture for him, and with time he began to shake lightly with doubt as Sakura held him in that spot. While Gaara trembled, so too did the sand around them begin to lightly ripple. It was probably another silent warning, yet all Sakura did was pull the child tighter into her before brushing the side of her head next to his. To that unfamiliar physical contact, he once again stiffened.
"Whoever it is you're thinking of, I'm not them," she whispered to him. "I'm not any of them."
Her embrace grew tighter, and she closed her eyes with a smile.
"I'm Sakura. I'm your friend. I'm here to take care of you, not hurt you."
Like the time she comforted him before, she pulled back before nestling her forehead against his. Through her steady eyes she could see his teal gaze shaking once again. For Sakura, it was a sad thought to think a small embrace like a hug could invoke such precariousness in the boy, but she had to at least find some hope in the fact that he did not push her away, or ask that she let him go.
"Don't forget all that I've told you before," Sakura smiled, and closed her eyes with her head still leaning against his. "I'm here for you, Gaara. Let my whispers become your strength."
Silence between them again, and Sakura took a few more seconds holding him before she began to pull back with a smile. Before she could fully pull away though, Gaara took the moment to finally will his frozen body to move and Sakura halted when she felt his small hands fall hesitantly onto her collarbone. His touch was soft, almost like a graze, yet his skin stayed in contact with hers, which was enough to stop the rosette from pulling away. He was indecisive with what exactly he wanted to do, and his hands still had not moved from their spot, but Sakura softly smiled as time passed once again between them. She understood his silent plight.
"It's alright," she eventually whispered.
His fingers twitched lightly then, her voice surprising and breaking his concentration.
"You can hug me back if you want," Sakura finished.
She couldn't see the boy's face, but heard him take in a sharp breath. Again, she wondered what went through his mind as he fiddled once more with his fingers on her skin. Was he uncertain what to do? Did he argue in his mind how he should perceive this action? Was he still reminded of the other he mentioned to her earlier?
Yet, while these questions swam through her mind, they stopped the instant she felt his small hands slide up her skin slowly before he wrapped his arms around her neck gently. Sakura lowered her neck closer to him when she felt his small embrace.
"You're giving me a hug?" she playfully asked with a smile.
He was silent, but her voice had given him a little more confidence to tighten his arms more around her neck, and Sakura was pulled in closer. To this, she smiled softly, and gently patted his back. She wasn't sure whether he held her because he was desperate for physical affection, or if this hug was his way of thanking her. Either way, it warmed the young woman's heart in a new way. A child's embrace was new to her, but was definitely inspiriting.
"Thank you," Sakura whispered, patting his back once more.
He still hadn't let go, but he had managed to finally find his voice through this whole circumstance.
"Why thanks?" he whispered.
As reluctant as she was to break this contact, Sakura's neck and back were starting to disapprove at the way she lowered to him for such a long period of time, and so she took the opportunity to pull back. His small hands protested for a second, but fell as well when she straightened her back and began twisting her neck from side to side. Looking back down at him, his eyes were curiously set on her, and she smiled.
"Because we all need a hug sometimes. Even me," Sakura answered him, and with truth to her words.
Because while his hug was new, and light, it gave her reassurance that her time spent here was not entirely wasted. This time, and place, was no longer hers, and it drove into her at times with uncertainty at how lax and adherent she had become with Gaara instead of working hard for an answer back home.
"Thank you," she said again.
His eyes wavered slightly to her words and he glanced at her neck before his eyes dropped to the palms of his hands. Sakura watched him while he studied his hands, and before long he narrowed his eyes at them before glaring back at her. For the rosette, her eyes widened the moment he turned angry eyes towards her. Before she could ask him what was wrong, he whispered with a deep tone.
"You're just like him."
Sakura sighed, before shutting her eyes.
'Patience,' she reminded herself.
Yet, along with that thought, she had an image of Gaara sweeping all she had just told him past his head, and she couldn't deny it made her short temper quake lightly.
"It's alright," she told him a sigh.
Yet, when her eyes met his again, his glare was unmoved. Instead of studying the teal gaze, Sakura took a moment to look at the small destruction around them. All around her and Gaara were plastic pieces, and stuffing. Never before had the child made a big mess such as this.
"Uhhh..." Sakura mumbled, looking all around her before back towards Gaara. "I don't suppose you could use your sand to clean this all up?"
Though his eyes were still stern on her, even after her question, he did let up after a few blinks and peered around the room along with her.
"You know..." Sakura called for his attention, smirking once he looked back up at her. "If you help me clean all this up quick enough, I think we may just have enough time to get some kakigori afterward."
"Slow down, you're putting too much syrup on it again! I keep telling you every time that you're making it wrong!"
The young woman barked at the rushing old man in front of her, tapping her foot impatiently as she watched him work. Frequent as much as she brought Gaara, almost daily, the vendor still made the sweet treat with haste. It left his culinary work sloppy and, for Sakura, the overly, sweet ice inedible. The rosette was well aware of the reason for his haste though; that the man simply rushed to be rid of Gaara all the more quickly out of fear. As regular as the two of them came, Sakura took this light acquaintance to the next level, and didn't hold back reminding the old man how to do his job.
"If you're going to bring him, at least bring him at night!" the vendor responded. "I'm hurrying because you're scaring off my customers."
Of course, this didn't mean the vendor held back his tongue for long. With the common visits, so too did the man become more accustom to the situation, and Sakura had learned his voice, and opinion, could be just as loud as hers.
"We haven't done anything wrong," Sakura replied, followed by a click of her tongue. "If people aren't coming it's not because of Gaara, but because you make your ice too sweet."
Sakura waited for his retort, but instead watched with curious eyes as the man leaned over his counter to hand off the cup to the redheaded boy. That was a first, and Sakura was in awe at the scene. He often handed off the ice to Sakura, but approached Gaara without hesitation this time that it left the young woman a little baffled at first. Yet, a smile found her when she watched Gaara take the cup without any doubt.
'This is how Gaara should be treated,' Sakura thought, her smile growing all the more.
"Besides," the old man spoke, watching Gaara dive the ice into his mouth, "he likes it a little more sweet."
Turning back to Sakura, the vendor was caught off guard by her warm smile. He cleared his throat while turning his eyes away from her and back to the little boy, realizing then what had transpired between him and Gaara. Yet, he continued to play it off as if this was another routine night of their visit.
"I take it you want one as well..." the old man mumbled, already in the process of making another.
Sakura shook her head, instead stepping next to the boy and smiling warmly down at him before looking back up to the old man.
"It's fine," Sakura replied, "It's like you say, we'll get out of your way now."
He cleared his throat again more forcefully before speaking.
"That can't be helped. You're already here anyway, might as well take one for yourself..."
Sakura repressed a chuckle then sighed before placing a gentle hand on Gaara's shoulder. Too invested in his treat, Gaara paid her touch no mind and simply ate standing in his spot.
"Like I said, you make the ice too sweet," Sakura said.
Her glare on the old man returned then, and yet her smirk was that of a teasing one. The vendor understood Sakura then, and waved them off with a shooing gesture.
"If you're not buying another then go. I'm losing business with you two loitering around her," he mumbled before turning his back to the two of them.
As much as a right they had to stand there and let Gaara eat there in peace, Sakura decided to usher the boy along. It was the least she could do as a silent thanks to the old man for showing Gaara some respect. Yet, before she escorted the boy away, she spoke to him.
"Gaara, can you thank him?"
The boy said nothing, but did turn his eyes towards Sakura. Perhaps he was in wonder, for this was the first time she asked him of this.
"He made it just the way you like it. Do you understand? He makes it special just for you," Sakura said with a nod of her head.
The boy turned back to the ice, examining it a little more closely before his eyes blinked from it and back to the old man. He was silent for a minute, but finally spoke that brought another smile to Sakura.
"Thank you," he said with a quiet voice.
The vendor did not turn, or acknowledge Gaara's gratitude, but Sakura knew he had heard him, and once again directed Gaara away in time. They walked back in silence, such was the usual case when the child had that colorful ice in his hands. However, when Sakura remembered the toys broken from earlier, she spoke up.
"Should we go to the toy store? I told you I'd get you a new toy for breaking your others."
Sakura peeked an eye open to the boy next to her, watching him lick his red stained lips before he replied.
"No."
Sakura was wide-eyed surprise. Since when did kids ever say no to that sort of offer?
"Eh? Really? Are you sure? You only have like two or three left."
When Gaara shook his head, Sakura grinned.
"Wow, you're pretty selfless, aren't you?" Sakura said with a smile.
The boy took another few bites of his ice.
"I've played with all the toys from the store. They're boring," the boy said, to which Sakura's head fell slightly.
"Eh? You've been given all those toys before?" she mouthed quietly to herself, "I take it back then. You're kinda bratty still..."
These were words she would never reveal to the boy, just a label she pushed into the back of her mind while reminding herself that this side of Gaara would one day change. Yet, the more she thought about the toys, an idea suddenly came to her; but it was one she would keep secret to herself for the time being.
"Let's stop at the store real quick. I need to pick up a few things," Sakura said, grateful the boy didn't question any further.
In fact, her words were probably lost to him as he continued to indulge, and Sakura smirked playfully.
"Do you want to hold my hand while we walk there?" she asked.
Still no reply, Gaara's mouth was occupied with the spoon.
"How about you share? Let me have a bite."
Her words were only playful, and she teasingly inched her fingers towards the cup of ice. She got Gaara's attention quick then, and he glared at her with the spoon still in his mouth. Yet, the rosette only pulled back when sand formed a small barrier between the two of them.
"Definitely a brat," Sakura laughed.
