.
Chapter Nineteen
"Mother's...song?"
Sakura had whispered that while glancing at the small paper again. She tried to make out the little symbols as well as the small scribbling of words, but before her narrowed eyes could even make out anything, Temari folded and tucked the paper hastily away. The rosette could not protest or request a glance as Temari turned to face with her giant grin.
"Thank you, Sakura!" she laughed.
Temari hoisted herself towards Sakura, wrapping her small arms around the woman's neck and nestling herself against her shoulder. Her hug was long, tight, and filled with so much emotion and gratitude that it made Sakura blush sheepishly. Just as quick as her hug came, Temari let go of Sakura and made a dash out of the room.
"Come on, Kankuro," she called for him. "Let's go read it together in my room!"
Just like that, the young girl disappeared out of the room. Her brother did not follow quite yet, instead lingering behind and watching Sakura. When emerald met brown, a soft smile found the little boy.
"Thank you," he whispered to Sakura.
Sakura returned his smile and gave him an acknowledging nod. In his hand was the picture he had shown her earlier still; Like the paper to Temari, perhaps the picture was meaningful to Kankuro, and it was another memento these two children would take from their father. When the brunette only continued to linger behind, Sakura decided to speak.
"Do you remember her?"
The boy immediately knew who it was Sakura spoke about, and a frown formed on his face as he stared at the picture in his hand.
"Not very much," he admitted. "I just remember her a little bit. Sometimes I can remember how she looked, and sometimes I forget. I know she was really nice. Sometimes I dream about her, singing to me."
"Singing?" Sakura asked with a tilt of her head. "What does she sing?"
Kankuro was silent for a few moments, blinking at the picture still with a head full of thought.
"I don't know," he mumbled, "but it does always sound the same."
Kankuro picked up his head then, eyes looking at the ceiling as he recollected the memories. After a few moments he began to hum softly. It was only three ascending notes, and eventually the boy stopped not long after he began. He blushed and averted his eyes away from Sakura's smile, embarrassed she had convinced him to reveal his dreams, and lull, so openly.
"It sounds pretty," Sakura commented, hoping to persuade the boy he needn't worry about her judgment.
He was quiet for some time, cheeks still pink and lips pouting lightly before he finally mumbled.
"...It was."
He looked back at the picture, staring once more at it with eyes giving away that his thoughts were deep before he asked.
"Is Gaara better yet? Can we play together?"
Sakura stared at him nonchalant, again unsure how to feel about Kankuro's questions about his brother. She imagined she should be happy he showed interest in Gaara, and that he was hopeful the two of them could become close. Yet, at the same time, it bothered her that he thought of Gaara being in the wrong. There was nothing wrong with the redheaded boy, the problem lay with how others treated him. A part of her wanted to introduce Kankuro to Gaara, for the brunette was willing, and another part of her worried Gaara's perception of Kankuro making such assumptions, or even Kankuro asking Gaara if he was better or what was wrong with him, would not pan over well with the angry child.
"Soon," was all Sakura could say, for she dared not diminish Kankuro's hope.
There was no reason to anyway, the brothers were close in her own time. Hopefully a time would come soon where she could sit Kankuro down and explain Gaara's situation, where he wasn't at fault for everything and that the Ichibi did not define his character. As of right now, Sakura did not wish to linger much longer inside Rasa's room.
She smiled softly at Kankuro's own, he was happy with Sakura's answer.
"I'm going back to Temari now," he said while making small steps towards the door.
Yet, he stopped short just outside the door, taking one more quick look at the picture before turning back towards Sakura and asking a surprising question.
"Does Gaara like you?"
Again, Sakura stared blankly at the boy, unsure what to say or where his thought pattern was at the moment. Was he just curious of his brother, or was there something more to it?
"I do not know," Sakura answered. "I hope he does. I like him."
Kankuro nodded as if he understood, but his eyes were skeptic.
"Are you his new mother?"
Sakura's eyes went round to Kankuro's inquiry. Never did she give that idea any thought, nor have any desire to take up that role. Karura was Gaara's mother, not her, and she was certain that train of thought was the same for Gaara as it was for her. After all, the idea of a mother had been painted as something bad in Gaara's mind.
"No," Sakura said with a slow shake of her head. "I am not. I am his friend."
"Friend?"
Sakura nodded and Kankuro opened his mouth and nodded along with her, understanding. Another glance at the picture from him before he spoke again.
"You're so nice, Sakura."
Kankuro's eyes narrowed on the photo then.
"Mother was nice too..."
He brushed his thumb against the image of Karura.
"I think you could be our new Mother."
Sakura's eyes nearly bulged at Kankuro's idea. At first thought, an image of her and Rasa becoming a couple came to her mind with her adopting these three kids. She felt sick at the idea before her mind became much more clear and she sympathized with the frowning boy in front of her. He said these things not because he imagined her falling in love with his father, but because he was just like Gaara, unsure about his mother. His memories of Karura were limited, yet it made Kankuro curious as to what it be like to have a mother figure in his life. Gaara may, or may not, view her as a friend, but the brunette here thought of her as a mother. It all made Sakura's throat dry. The idea was complimenting, but it wasn't the impression she was wanting to leave on anyone here.
She wanted to remain the same as she was in her time, a close ally. A friend.
The two were quiet, lost in their own mindset. Sakura stared at the boy as he stared at the photo. Eventually he walked down the hallway and away without another word, and Sakura was left there dumbfounded.
'These children barely know me,' she told herself. 'How could Kankuro think of me as being their mother?'
The thought made her heart ache as well. As little as they knew of her, a bond had formed. While it seemed small in her eyes, for Kankuro this bond seemed so much more larger and deeper. It made Sakura again see just how lonely and desperate for an adult figure these children were.
'Rasa should have never left them to feel that way,' Sakura thought, eyeing the room around her.
She tensed immediately at the scattered papers around her. An hours worth was damage by three was more than evident in this room, yet only one was left to pick up the mess.
'Those brats,' Sakura thought before quickly beginning to work and hoping she would leave nothing askew.
Even though she labeled the children that, it was Temari's grateful grin and Kankuro's soft smile that kept invading her thoughts. It left her cleaning with a bright smile of her own.
Sakura's eyes were on the ground as she paced herself. She promised to only be few moments, Annaisha begged her not to make it years, and she had to wonder if this time in between would suffice. Gaara was in good hands, she had absolutely no doubt about that, but the boy's patience and abrupt mood swings were something Annaisha was not accustom to. She had no worries she wouldn't find the pair alright, but Sakura still carried her feet fast.
Sakura's tread slowed as she approached the kitchen and spotted another figure making their way towards the same room. The robed figure was fast, yet something about the way he moved and how his white garb flowed was graceful, and Sakura watched transfixed until she caught sight of their dark, auburn hair.
"Rasa!" she gasped before sprinting towards him.
As innocent as her acts were today, most of them at least, she knew she had to approach this man and stop him from entering the kitchen. Not for her sake, or his, but for the child inside who feared his father. Just as she made a reach for him, he turned to her with a scowl, and eyes that seemed to darken and resemble Gaara's own. It took the young woman by such surprise that she froze and gasped while staring at those dark rings. In one instant blink though, by Sakura, the dark rims on Rasa's eyes vanished and his scowl had morphed instead to a disapproving frown.
"Sakura," he instantly said, even giving the woman the slightest of nod.
Sakura did not return greeting, if you could consider it one, and instead was quiet while watching Rasa curiously stare at her eyes.
"You're tired," he stated those words as a fact. "Last night?"
"Last night…?" Sakura repeated slowly, trying to understand the Kazekage's short words. "Last night..."
Her eyes went round when she realized what Rasa was asking. He was looking for answers to again feed the intrusive hunger in his mind. At least, that was what Sakura was convinced to think of him, and finally matched his hard frown.
"I am not hurt," Sakura answered, hoping it would be enough for Rasa to see that she could handle Gaara at his supposed worst.
"That's not what I'm asking," Rasa rounded on her, voice low.
"Everyone is accounted for today, are they not?"
"So, you're saying he didn't lash out at all last night?" Rasa asked with a rise of his eyebrow.
Sakura pursed her lips then. Lying about Gaara's nature last night would be a losing situation, yet she did not want to tarnish anymore of the young boy's name. Whatever significance was left of it anyway to anyone besides her…
"I am here now," Sakura rephrased.
To this, Rasa suddenly howled with a laugh. It made Sakura's eyes narrow all the more towards him. Nothing in this situation should be found humorous, not when a lonely, little boy's psyche was coming into question. Rasa's own son nonetheless.
"Stubborn girl," Rasa finished his laugh.
"Woman. Stubborn woman," Sakura corrected him.
The amusement on Rasa's face washed away then, and he stared at Sakura skeptically then. Sakura could see that Rasa had wanted to counter, or to say something more on the matter. Eventually though, he sighed, and his stoic features, the rosette was more familiar with, finally returned.
"Will you be needing another vial?" he asked.
Sakura blinked a few times in silence. The image of Gaara playing with that blood flashed across her mind, and the sight made her stomach twist in a knot. That couldn't be the answer for Gaara. If anything, feeding the monster inside his mind was not the correct way to go about this. Gaara had to learn to control, and Sakura was more than willing to show him. She shook her head.
"No, it will be alright tonight."
Sakura looked back up at Rasa, and was surprised to see his look showed just a bit of concern. Did he worry for her sake?
"Are you sure? The moon will still be big," he spoke.
Sakura shook her head then. She was sure.
"Fetch him for me," Rasa suddenly said.
"Huh?" Sakura mumbled, confused.
Rasa, from what Sakura could see, had stayed away from Gaara like the plague. Now suddenly he asked that she bring him. It made Sakura wary, and her face narrowed once more.
"Why?" she asked.
That amusement returned on Rasa, and it made Sakura all the more on the defense for the sake of Gaara. The Kazekage in front of her smirked, suddenly enjoying getting a rise from Sakura.
"Do I need a reason to see my beloved son?"
Sakura clenched her fist then and struck for the man's face. It was a warning, Rasa knew as well, for his arm was enough to block her hand whereas the woman could easily break his bones to reach his face. His smirk left him then, and his eyes narrowed to match hers.
"Remember your place," he calmly told her. "Who I am."
"Don't you dare mock that child. Your child!" Sakura spat back.
They challenged the other with angry eyes, and while Sakura still held her fist tight against Rasa's arm, she was surprised to see it would be eventually him who sighed and backed away from her. Even more surprising, he saw the error to his mistakes.
"You're right. That was uncalled for," he sternly spoke, back straightened. "Gaara is no laughing matter."
It was not enough for Sakura to forgive the man, but her tensed body did relax and she watched Rasa's face morph slightly before his eyes returned to hers.
"Bring him here, I will train him today."
Rasa had given her an answer, yet it didn't help to settle her heedful mind. He noticed her hesitation, and called her name to reassure.
"Sakura, he needs to learn control."
"He fears you though," Sakura murmured, a guilt building inside of her by handing over Gaara to him.
"I am his father. I decide for him," Rasa replied.
Sakura's eyes fixed back on the man with a scowl.
"Yes," she replied in distaste, "You were making his decisions long before he was born."
Sakura clenched her fist at Rasa's passive look.
"Look where that has gotten you," she continued.
"I'm not here to play games, Sakura. I don't have time to go back and forth with your adolescent mindset."
He struck another nerve then, and Sakura was drawing closer towards him once more.
"Don't you dare undermine me because of my age," Sakura hissed in warning.
Rasa made in exaggerated sigh then, rubbing his temple in the process.
"Lower your fist and listen. I will train him today. He has added stamina in him during this time of the month, when the moon becomes full. I am willing to drain that extra energy, and more, so that he will be much more amenable tonight," Rasa clearly said.
Sakura finally had her true reason, and she had to agree the idea was not one she could argue against. Yet, something about Rasa she did not trust. It didn't help that he treated his son as nothing more than an object, and it certainly didn't help that Gaara had a fear from him that Sakura did not quite understand.
"Take me to him, Sakura," Rasa said when she did not reply.
His impatience made her scowl at him once more before she ultimately led him into the kitchen. Before they entered, she could her him speak under his breath.
"He isn't suppose to be out of his room..."
She ignored the comment because no matter how many times he would reprimand her, and remind her that the child should barely be out and never around others, Sakura knew that type of isolation would only be worse on the poor child. Walking in, she was relieved to see that Gaara had created no problems for the brunette, and Annaisha was by his side still directing him how to properly clean a pan.
This was the kind of interactions Gaara needed in his life, and Sakura smirked triumphantly at the thought of Rasa walking in and seeing Annaisha and Gaara cooperating together. Yet, as the boy turned to face Sakura, a happy smile on his face looking up at her, it dropped in a flash as the man behind her made his appearance. Sakura's heart dropped when Gaara's smile turned into a heavy frown, and behind the fear in his eyes she could recognize another emotion that flashed across his gaze while looking up at her; betrayal.
"Kazekage-sama!" Annaisha murmured, surprised at the company.
She bowed her head low as Rasa drew near to her.
"Annaisha," he greeted.
"Would you like me to make you something to eat, Kazekage-sama?" Annaisha said.
At this point, with Annaisha and Rasa conversing, Gaara used his father's distraction as an opportunity and made a quick dash towards Sakura. He hugged the rosette's leg tightly before scrambling against her skin for her attention. By the time Sakura lowered her head towards him, she could see his anxiety building and panic swimming in his orbs. Before she could even ask, his shaky voice begged.
"Let's go back," he began repeating. "I want to go back. I need to go back. Let's go to my room. Let's go to my room."
His voice slowed as Sakura pulled him into a small hug, trying to shush and calm him.
"It's alright," she told him. "Everything is going to be alright. I'm going to stay right here with you."
The boy was quiet, but buried himself in Sakura's hug, and the girl knew it wasn't endearment he was searching for but instead a sense of security. He stayed in Sakura's hold, even when his father came behind him and watched the two's interactions. He stared down at Sakura and Gaara in a shock that he couldn't quite hide. Clearly he wasn't expecting this sort of bond between the two, and it made Sakura want nothing more than to smirk triumphantly at him. Yet, this achievement would have to wait, for the child clung to her in fear, not adoration, and the guilt still ate at Sakura that she agreed on something on Gaara's behalf when the child clearly did not want anything to do with Rasa.
"Gaara," Rasa called.
Gaara quickly turned to the call of his name, facing his father with a dropped face, and he backed more into Sakura as a means of a shield against Rasa. The man was quiet while watching this, holding Gaara's gaze with his long stare for a few moments before turning slightly in the direction of the exit.
"Come," he ordered, gesturing with a nod of his head. "Today you train."
With that, Rasa broke the gaze and waltzed his way out of the kitchen and headed towards outside. He didn't even wait for Gaara to follow, but carried the idea along with him that the child would not disobey. With the mention of training, Sakura assumed Gaara's quiet demeanor meant he was relieved that was all his father asked of him, and that calm manner she understood him to almost always have had returned. Yet, as she nudged the boy to go along, he pulled himself away from her grip before his eyes looked up to plead with her.
"I want to stay here..." he mumbled under his breath, desperate.
Sakura's heart ached then, for the boy was clearly the most upset when it came to Rasa. Again, she felt guilty for agreeing on Gaara's behalf, but also tried to find reason behind Rasa's actions. Not only because the older man was right, that Gaara had to grasp control of his powers as well as tone them for the future, but because tiring him out this night may be more beneficial than Sakura's own means the night before. She certainly hoped to avoid a repeat of looming sand, a screaming child, and cleaning up blood off his face.
She knelt down to the floor once more, meeting at his level. As soon as he could see her reaching for him with a means to pull him into an embrace, he instead slowly walked into her open arms. More familiar with her movements now, and desperate for that sense of security, it was him this time reaching out to meet her, and she held him tight as he buried his head and placed his arms against her.
"I don't want to go with him," he repeated, voice muffled against her clothes.
She hushed him, swaying him lightly in her hold for a few minutes.
"I promise everything will be alright," she said, feeling his body tense. "I'll come with you. I'll be right there."
His body relaxed then. He had probably been worried Sakura would send him off on his own, yet he still didn't reply or pull away from their hug. Eventually she nudged his small head with her chin, making him look back up at her and her warm smile.
"Afterwards, maybe we can stop and get some kakigori."
She could see his eyes light up some, but he was still hesitant on the idea. If given a real choice, the boy would sacrifice the sweet in vain of not having to be with his father. Gaara was not so clueless on the situation like any other child would be. He understood that he had no real say in the matter. He was smart enough to see that the rosette holding him now was also doing her best to make better of the awful situation. She promised to stay by his side, and promised a treat in the end. With that in mind, he stepped slightly back from her, nodding at her in agreement.
Sakura chortled, placing a hand on his red locks and stroking him lightly.
"What?" she asked. "Was kakigori all I needed to say to convince you?"
Her words were playful, and she was happy to see his distraught poise had washed away and been replaced with a small, appreciative smile.
'Just like Naruto,' Sakura thought. 'Promise him ramen and he will bend the world for you. Promise Gaara kakigori, and he may very well do the same.'
Standing herself back up, Sakura stretched herself before offering Gaara her hand.
"Let's go," she said. "The sooner we get started the sooner we can finish it."
His eyes traveled to her hand. He looked hesitant once more about holding it, but eventually reached for her and laced his small fingers around her two bigger ones. She gave him one last smile as he drew himself closer to her before she looked back towards Annaisha.
"Thank you for..." Sakura stopped her words as she took sight of the blubbering girl.
Tears were pouring out of her as she fiddled with her fingers while staring at the two. It made Sakura feel awkward at how emotional and hysterical the girl was looking at them, and before the rosette could even ask, the younger woman answered.
"That was so precious to watch! You are so kind to Gaara-sama!"
Annaisha was able to place an embarrassing smile on Sakura, and the rosette wanted nothing more than to sneak away.
"Annaisha..." Sakura muttered. "It's nothing to get so worked up about."
Despite this, Annaisha blubbered some more before trying to snivel back her drops and wipe the remains off.
"I'm sorry!" she cried, still drying off her face. "That just really warmed my heart, you know? It reminded me of my mother!"
Eventually the brunette composed herself enough to stand her ground and look straight towards the two.
"Sakura-sama, you've been here for such a short while, but I can tell you really love that boy a lot!"
Sakura eyes widened briefly for a moment, for it was the first time hearing that word describe what sort of bond her and Gaara now shared. The boy too, seemed to be taken aback, for the grip he had on her fingers suddenly tightened.
'Love,' Sakura repeated in her mind.
Thinking of that word reminded her of the only man she felt that way in her life, Sasuke. It was new to her to hear it as a reference as a way she felt towards a child. Never did she think of herself incapable of loving a child, just that she didn't think love in that sense would come any sooner until having her own. Then again, she claimed love for her closest of friends.
"Gaara is my friend. This is how I treat all my friends," she stated to Annaisha, as if that was enough of a reply.
She turned then, Gaara still in hand, leading him out to his father.
"You two have fun! Thank you for your help, Gaara-sama! Bye!" Annaisha called.
Sakura was surprised that the boy actually looked back, halting their movements and gave a small wave towards the brunette.
"Bye," he whispered, his voice still quiet towards Annaisha.
It came as no surprise to either of them that Rasa had not waited on the two, but both Gaara and Sakura knew where their destination lay, and walked hand and hand through the hot village towards the training grounds. Even if the boy was quiet next to her, face stoic, Sakura could feel his grip on her hands tighten back and forth. He was nervous, for whatever reason, and so she spoke to ease his mind.
"Training is good," she reminded him. "The stronger you are, the more people you can protect."
Gaara looked up at her, considering her words for a moment.
"Why?" he eventually muttered.
"Why what?" Sakura asked back, crooking her neck.
"...Protect them?"
He repeated her words like she had spoke taboo, but Sakura couldn't stop herself from smiling and thinking of his future self. She found it irresistibly humorous at times that this child basically denied what his future self would be.
"You'll have friends you'll want to protect. There will be many important people in your life," Sakura commented.
She was able to see his face contort to confusion as she looked down at him. He looked up at her skeptically, unbelieving, and along with a wrinkle in his nose that was silently asking her, "you do know who I am, right?"
"It's true," she said with a skip in her voice. "You'll see."
He shook his head then and faced it forward.
"They are afraid of me," he mumbled, as if that was enough for her to think otherwise.
"If you show them kindness, show them you care and that you want to take care of them, they will change."
Sakura was still watching him, silent as his eyes fell to his steps. He was again deep in thought, doubting of her words yet also trying to humor that thought in his mind. He tried to pinpoint how he would truly feel guarding those who showed him no kindness thus far. Obviously the idea didn't settle well with him for his face morphed into an angry frown the more he thought about it.
"What would you do if Annaisha was in trouble?" Sakura asked, trying to change his perspective.
He blinked upon hearing Sakura's voice, his angry gaze melting away and turning back to look up at Sakura. Again he was quiet, considering the idea and how he truly would act on the situation. His passive gaze gave no indication to the rosette of what he was thinking, and eventually kept that same blank face while answering truthfully,
"I don't know."
"Eh?" Sakura drawled out, a bit humored at Gaara's blunt answer. "That isn't nice. Annaisha won't be happy to hear that when I tell her later."
Though her words had meant to be playful, Gaara turned his cold frown back to the ground below him. At first, Sakura assumed the joke to have gone over his head, but she soon realized he was once again deep in thought. He was quiet, and Sakura said nothing more as they continued down the dirt path.
"...tect you."
Sakura tilted her head, unsure if she had heard Gaara suddenly speak. Looking back down at him, his eyes were glued to hers, his expression indicating that he was waiting for her response. He had even stilled his movements, making the both of them stop in their tracks. She waited on him, as he waited on her, before realizing he really had spoken something to her.
"What did you say?" she asked.
His eyes narrowed then, not out of anger at her but instead from frustration at himself. His eyes darted back and forth to the sides as he chewed on his lip softly, trying to calm the rattling inside of him that threatened to keep him quiet. He sighed trying to remember all the good Sakura had done for him, how she treated him, what she taught him, the kindness she had shown.
The way she claimed him a friend in front of others.
Even if he was nervous saying it, still fighting the voice that told him that she was too good to be true, he drew in a breath and muttered once more.
"I'd protect you."
Sakura was wide eyed and stood frozen staring back down at the boy who watched intently for her reaction. She wasn't blind to see how much Gaara had open up to her, but was surprise to hear him proclaim such a thing, and to her nonetheless. She hadn't really given it much thought how much she was making an impact on the boy, and she stood there unmoved, even when a traveling breeze brushed her hair to tickle at her skin.
"Gaara," she eventually breathed, and even if her voice was quiet the boy had heard her, and shifted on his spot, anxious to hear her.
She grinned then, giving his hand a tight squeeze and nodding at him.
"I'd protect you too," she replied.
The boy's smile grew then, showing off his teeth. A small moment between them, and Sakura let it linger silently for a few more minutes before ushering him along to their destination.
"But you know," Sakura commented along the way, "I don't need you to protect me."
The boy tilted his head, peeking at her.
"Why not?" Gaara asked.
Sakura stuck her tongue out playfully at him.
"I'm stronger than you, and always will be."
It was joke, they both knew, and Sakura said it now for she knew this humor would be lost to the Gaara of her time. She imagined his older self calling foolish, and turning away coldly from her playful teasing. However, his child self rebuttal differently, it reminded her a little of Naruto when Sasuke took shots at his skills when they were young and training together.
"I'll get stronger!" Gaara cried, a little flustered that Sakura mocked his strength.
"I'll just get stronger while you're getting stronger," Sakura snickered before shaking her head at him. "You'll never catch up to me."
Gaara gripped her fingers tight, and even tossed their limbs together some in protest.
"I will too!" he proclaimed.
Sakura gave a hearty laugh, and it grew as she took in his angry pout.
"We'll see," Sakura managed to say through her snickers. "Once you're older, we'll see who the stronger one is."
Gaara smirked at her, giving her a quiet nod of agreement. They continued their walk, still conversing lightly. It would be happiest moment between the two that day, as night was once again unkind to the both of them.
