Chapter 14
"Do you not miss them?" They stood in the kitchen, chopping vegetables for dinner, in some sort of domestic make-believe. The thought slipped out from nowhere, it had run through his mind and out his mouth without conscious thought, and now he wholeheartedly regretted it.
She looked up at him, warily. "Who?"
"Your old friends." He said, "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked. I just heard from Blaise Zabini today and it was on my mind."
"Zabini?" She tried to place the name but failed.
"He was a Slytherin in our year, he's dating Luna Lovegood now." He threw out off handedly.
She let the thought roll through her mind. "I try not to think of them. It's too painful." She turned, dropping the cut vegetables into her pan and the peels into her small compost bin. "I love them all deeply, and my heart is empty, but being there with them is too hard."
"There are mind healers, you know. The profession became sought after in the aftermath of the war and there is a lot of evidence for their success." He washed his hands, trying to sound casual so she remained calm and didn't get stressed or upset.
She looked at him, "You aren't leaving, are you?" Her voice was worried, her hands playing with a tea towel as she watched him.
"No, of course not." He stepped forwards, running his hands over her shoulders and down to her hands, rescuing the tea towel from her grip. "I won't leave until you ask me to." He phrased that carefully, knowing that one day she would ask him to leave her. He didn't want to think about that, so he pushed it out of his mind.
"Okay." She offered him a small smile, "I'm not ready for a mind healer to see my thoughts."
"Okay." He let the subject drop. Hoping it wouldn't hang in the air all evening. When they went to bed, she didn't wait for the invite before crawling between his sheets.
Hermione's phone beeped over dinner, the soft ring dinging in the comfortable silence she had grown accustomed to. Amelia's number flashed on the screen, along with a message inviting the two of them out for drinks that evening.
Theo lunged for her phone, slipping it out of her fingers as she laughed and cried out in protest, "Theo!" She exclaimed, as he quickly tapped a message back to Amelia before she had a chance to wrestle the device off him.
"We're going." He smirked, dropping the phone back in her lap and collecting their plates. He deposited them in the sink and then pulled her up from her chair by a hand. "It's good for us to get out and let loose."
"I'm not good at letting loose." She confided, brushing a worried hand over her hair.
Theo smiled, brushing her hair back over her shoulder, "I can teach you."
At that she laughed, "Let's hope that goes better than your attempts to teach me wizard's chess." He joined in the laughter, thinking of the countless hours she had spent pouting over the chess board.
"Let's get ready. You should leave your hair curly, you don't look so much like yourself without it." He said absentmindedly, running a finger over the soft locks.
"That was the point," she smiled, twisting her hair around a hand and pulling it over her shoulder.
She did as he suggested, reversing the straightening spell and letting it fall naturally over her shoulders. Worrying at her lip, she felt nervous. She needn't worry herself, she thought reassuringly, Theo was there and he'd keep her safe. Standing in her underwear, she stared at her wardrobe, unsure of what to wear. Amelia had suggested they go to the one nightclub in town, a place she had never hoped to frequent - but she cast her mind back to the Yule ball. She'd had fun then. She'd throughly enjoyed dancing, laughing, feeling beautiful. Maybe it would be like that again.
She swirled the glass of wine in her hand and took a deep gulp - fear settling back into her stomach no matter how hard she tried. "Are you sure we shouldn't just stay home, we could play chess again... I'd even let you win." She joked and heard his returning laughter.
"We should go, try and get out the house. If you don't like it, we will leave." He called back, shouting so she could hear through the closed doors. She faced her wardrobe with renewed determination, pulling out a red dress she had purchased but never worn.
When she stepped out of her room, and came face to face with Theo, he gulped audibly. "How's this?"
"You look beautiful." He smiled, trying to rip his gaze away but struggling. She was like a drug, her beauty was addictive.
She flushed, thanking him. He looked rather dashing himself. He'd forgone shaving again, the stubble giving him a rugged, handsome look and, when coupled with the black jeans, black t-shirt and leather jacket he was wearing, he looked rather dangerously handsome. "Ready to go?" He held out an arm to her, and she linked hers into his elbow.
"Ready as I'll ever be." She sighed and he laughed, spinning them on the spot as he apparated them into an alley way in town. She quickly disengaged her arm from his. While they were becoming closer, she was certainly not ready for casual touching. They walked silently to the bustling doors of the club, trying to spot Amelia through the crowd.
"Hermone! Theo!" A soft yell carried over the raucous crowd waiting to be allowed entry into the club. "You made it!" Amelia bounced towards them, blond hair piled into a bun on the top of her head. Her hand pulled along a tall blond man, who had soft freckles dancing over his nose and dimples in his cheeks. "This is Daniel." She smiled at the man standing to her left, "A friend of mine from London." Daniel beamed at them and shook their hands in turn. Amelia turned pulling them all towards the door, past the queue, speaking to the bouncer who showed them quickly through the door and into the hustle and bustle of the club.
Hermione had never been to an actual nightclub. Stepping closer to Theo, who helped her remove her jacket and handed it to the coat check, she watched the bodies on the dance floor gyrate to the heady base of a song she didn't recognise. "You alright?" Theo whispered into her ear, she jumped as the closeness, but relaxed when she realised it was just him.
She nodded, turning to look at him, and tried to find a weak smile. It was simply strange to find herself here, with Theo of all people, in the warm club. She slipped her hand into his, but she was quickly pulled away by Amelia, her fingers falling through Theo's grip. "Let's get some drinks!" Amelia smiled, a bounce in her walk and she pulled Hermione through the crowd and towards the heaving bar. She couldn't help but wonder where all these people had come from; the town was small, how was this place so full! Amelia ordered for them all, as Theo and Daniel caught them up. By the time they arrived, shots of some sort of colourless liquid sat before them on the bar. "Cheers."
Hermione was handed a shot and her glass clinked for her by Amelia, she turned to find Theo, "Bottoms up, love." Theo said as they threw back the liquid in unison. Hermione coughed, spluttering gently as the shockingly bad tasting liquid hit the back of her throat. Theo chuckled at her reaction and she tapped him lightly on the chest with her hand.
Amelia pulled them to the VIP section of the club, jostling them into a plush booth. The music was slightly quieter in this section of the club, so they were able to talk. Daniel and Theo started up a conversation about football, something Hermione was shocked Theo even knew existed, and Amelia turned to her. "So, you and Theo, huh?"
Hermione blinked up at her, "No, not like that. We are just friends."
"How you can be 'just friends' with someone who looks like him, eludes me." She laughed, "Plus he cannot take his eyes off you!"
Hermione rolled her eyes at this one, "Don't be daft!" Amelia just smiled and took a large sip of her drink.
"Let's dance." Amelia smiled, standing up, adjusting her dress and tugging on Hermione's hand. "See you guys out there." She said to Theo and Daniel, and promptly pulled Hermione away.
Hermione looked round panicked. There were so many people moving to the music, it was so loud and all her senses felt slightly dulled by the alcohol. Amelia started to sway, dancing. She started to shake; her fingers curling and uncurling, the temptation to take out her wand or scream almost overcoming her. The lights blinked, flashing, the noice amplified in her ears, people were yelling, Theo wasn't there...
"I'm here, love." She felt a hand on her waist, the warm, soft touch securing her. Turning to look at the source of the hand, she smiled up at Theo, who moved his hand so he was gripping hers and spun her around until she laughed. He always seemed to be there at the right time.
Her heart unclenched at the feel of his hands on her waist, the security he brought grounding her to the moment. She releaxed, letting her body sway with his to the music. The sound of her unrestrained laughter made his heart bloom. She threw her head back and smiled widely. He watched her dance uninhibited, looking carefree and beautiful. He also noticed several other men watching her and a wave of jealousy swept over him. He tried to shake it off, but stepped closer to her anyway, running his hands through his hair. In a surprising move, she threw her arms around his neck as she danced, her body moving against his as his heart threatened to beat out of his chest. She stood on tiptoes, reaching to speak into his ear, "Thank you for putting up with me, Theo." Her breath whispered against his cheek, the warmth forcing a flush onto his face.
"I'm not putting up with you, I want to be there for you." He raised his hands back to her hips, his fingers rising until he met the soft ends of his hair. She blushed, head dipping, and stepped away, still holding tightly to his hand. "Let's get a drink."
She nodded and allowed him to lead her from the dance floor. Hermione was flushed and sweaty and, for once, she felt one hundred percent alive. Theo ordered for them and handed her a fruity cocktail, which tasted delicious. She thanked him and allowed him to lead her back towards the VIP section, letting her sit first and then moving to sit next to her. He sat with his leg bent, his knee against her hip and his calf pressed against her thigh.
It was a strangely intimate considering that they were surrounded by hundreds of people dancing, but it felt like they were the only two people in the whole place. Hermione blinked up at him from under her lashes. "Are you having fun?" He asked.
She grinned, "I am actually." She looked around. She didn't think she would but, now that they were here, it felt amazing.
"I told you this would be more fun than loosing at Wizard's chess for the one millionth time!" He joked. She batted a hand against his chest and he caught it, scooting even closer.
She let him hold her hand, turning it over in his palm and running a finger along the lines of her palm, "I'm getting better!"
He laughed, shaking his head, "You are most certainly not! I still cannot believe you are so bad."
"One can't be good at everything." She nudged his shin with her leg. They were sitting so close now that their lips were millimetres apart. The lights were dancing around them and the light feeling she was experiencing, that was caused by the alcohol coursing through her body, made her want to do something reckless. He reached up, pushing her hair away from her face with gentle fingers. She threw caution to the wind, leaning forward and pressing her lips to his.
He froze, not sure how to respond. His heart was beating fast, drowning out the loud base of the music. All he could think was how good she felt, how much he wanted to keep kissing her, but he was over thinking it so much that he froze. Kiss her back you idiot!
The music crashed around them as a new song picked up and she pulled away, words of apology falling through her lips, "I'm sorry, I didnt..." She trailed off, brushing her fingers against her lips and avoiding his eyes. She started to get up, hands flapping over her hair and dress and fidgeting. How did she read his signals so wrong? What was she thinking? She looked around, hoping no one else had witnessed her embarrassment.
He was starting to be able to read her so well, that he could already see her planning her escape. He took her small hand in his and pulled her back again quickly, placing a hand on her waist and feeling the warmth emanating through her dress. All he wanted to do was pull her closer and never let her go - but... "Just friends huh?" The shouted giggle carried over the music and Theo almost growled as he was forced to pull away from Hermione, the moment shattered. Amelia slid into the booth, pulling Daniel along behind her.
Hermione flushed, sliding away from him, until they were no longer touching. He had no choice but to let her go, his hands falling to the velvet lined couch between them. She wouldn't look at him and he felt his heart sink. This was a mistake. She was going to hate him.
He excused himself to use the rest room and then headed outside to get some air. Pulling a cigarette from the metal case in his pocket, he lit it and took a drag. He didn't smoke often, only when he'd had a drink or was stressed - and he suddenly met both criteria head on. He ran a hand through his hair and flopped back against the stone wall. He watched a few drunk couples laughing and kissing and walking hand in hand as they headed home from the club. All he wanted in the world was to be like that with her, but it was never going to happen. He thumped his head back against the wall.
Fuck sake. He groaned as he saw the obnoxious Auror watching him and casing the entrance to the club. Just what he needed. "Hey..." A small voice coughed out behind him and he turned, stubbing out his cigarette. Hermione stood infront of him, her nose scrunched in distate at the waft of smoke.
"Hey." He pushed off the wall, stuffing his hands in his pockets and looking at the floor.
She was teetering on her heels, trying to relieve the pressure from hours on her tiptoes, she rung her hands infront of her, "Should we go home?"
Home. So she still wanted him to stay, that was something at least. "Yeah." He nodded, stepping closer and noticing that Amelia and Daniel were no where in sight. Hermione told him she'd informed them of their departure and had thanked them for a nice evening. He let her lead the way down the street, the alcohol causing her to sway; she didn't mention the kiss and he didn't bring it up either.
The awkwardness settled heavy between them and they walked back to her house in silence, she picked her way slowly over the cobbles. She opened her door with a click and used his arm for balance as she took her heels off. As she stepped down onto the carpet, she winced and wobbled, but turned to him with a smile, "I had fun tonight." She said, stripping off her coat and taking a step up the stairs.
"Are we good?" He asked, watching her as she tried to avoid eyes. Her chest was flushed again and her breathing seemed to increase.
Her resulting, "Yes.", was high pitched. He wanted to believe her, but when they made it to the corridor to their rooms, she stepped into her own and snapped the door shut.
He sighed, closing his eyes and hitting his head lightly against the wall. Things had been going so well and he'd fucked it all up. He crawled between his sheets and stared at the ceiling until he finally drifted to sleep. For the first time in a long time, she slept through the night.
