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Chapter Thirty-four
"I want to know if you are alright."
…
"I want to know if you wonder about me."
...
"Sometimes I lie down on the floor."
...
"And I listen to the sounds."
...
"I do not want to make the footsteps out."
...
"I want to imagine they are yours passing by my door."
...
"I don't feel right."
Time…
It moved almost too quickly for Sakura the next few days, and it began as Gaara patted her face gently to wake her.
"What is it?" she had asked him with a tired groan.
He pointed with a blank stare towards the door.
"Someone is coming," he told her before returning to play with his new blue doll on the floor.
She paid his words little mind until he spoke carefree once again.
"Someone new. Someone we do not know."
She hopped out of the bed fast then, worried for the child's sake even if he gave it no mind. As she opened the door, she was greeted by a fidgeting, young woman. Dressed in her ninja attire, she shrieked and jumped back as Sakura opened the door, but, nonetheless, regained some composure before handing off Sakura an envelope.
"From Kazekage-sama!" the girl informed Sakura before dashing away from the rosette's dismissal.
Looking at the contents, Sakura literally lost her breath as she stared at her new traveling documents, as well as Gaara's. She read Rasa's note quickly before disposing of it.
"Prepare today. Depart early morning."
'I didn't imagine it be this quick!' Sakura thought with a racing heart.
Adrenaline pumped through her from this news, and she wasted no time packing their two bags, and planning what she needed to get done in Konoha. She dragged Gaara with her to the store to buy their supplies for the travel, she brought him to the hospital to organize a list of medicines and plants she could retrieve in Konoha. As soon as she decided all was done on her part, she brought Gaara to the park to let him play one more time with the brown-haired girl that seemed to always be there.
"Wow!" Matsuri had told him. "Konoha huh? Can you bring me back something from there?"
"Like what?" Gaara had mumbled.
"Anything is fine," she ended up telling him, waving goodbye and to come play again soon.
Sakura brought Gaara to the kakigori stand next, explaining to Tsutomu not to expect them anytime soon.
"What?!" the man grumbled. "That's bad for business!"
Sakura simply laughed, for she did believe their frequent visits upheld this man's business somewhat.
"We'll return before you know it. Gaara wants to see the cherry blossoms, right?" she said while nudging the little boy.
"They're the same color as her hair," Gaara commented to Tsutomu while pointing towards Sakura.
The old man smiled then before handing Gaara his sweet treat.
"Well..." he mumbled. "If Gaara-kun wants to see the cherry blossoms I suppose that's a good reason to go. Those things sure are a beauty to look at."
Tsutomu knelt down on his counter, grinning towards Gaara.
"Just promise me you'll stay loyal to this stand. Ain't no better tastin' Kakigori in Konoha than mine here in Suna."
They left as Tsutomu began trying to hand money over to Gaara.
"Get yourself something nice there," he told Gaara.
Yet, Sakura refused on the boy's part.
"His father is paying for all the expenses. Please, keep your money."
Still, Tsutomu slipped the coin to Gaara, winking at the boy and earning Gaara's grin as Sakura had her back turned.
"Goodbye!" Gaara called, waving to Tsutomu.
Sakura did the same.
"We'll be back before you know it!" she told him.
They went next to his siblings, and Sakura was hit with a barrage of tears and whining.
"That's not fair!" Temari cried. "I want to come too!"
"Please, Sakaasan," Kankuro begged. "Bring us too!"
And even Gaara had gotten caught up with their pleas.
"I won't go unless they can go!" he begged Sakura.
The children literally had Sakura covering her ears with her hands.
"Next time!" she kept on telling them. "I can't keep track of all three of you by myself!"
Eventually, Sakura was able to calm down the spoiled children long enough for them to give their brother a proper goodbye. Hugs and well wishes again, and Gaara had even surprised Sakura by offering Kankuro the tiny, blue, bunny doll.
"Please, take care of it for me," he had asked his brother.
Kankuro promised with a sniffle.
After that, Sakura whisked them back to their room, and prepared herself for an early sleep for an early rise.
"Gaara," she called to the boy. "Don't play too much tonight. Konoha is a long trip, we'll be doing a lot of running tomorrow."
Gaara nodded, eyes falling to the floor as he wished Sakura a good night.
And that was it, Sakura thought. She drifted to sleep thinking the next time she awoke would be when it was time for them to leave. The day had been so busy for them, that sleep found her quick. The day, for her, had also been so mind-filling that she had failed to realize the boy's nervous eyes.
So, late into the night, he climbed into her bed, nestling himself close to her as his worries got the better of him.
"Gaara?" Sakura groaned, his movement stirring her awake.
She turned to face him, bringing her arms out to cradle him. He need not say a word then, for his act now told her everything.
"What's wrong?" she asked sleepily.
Through the dark his eyes found hers, and he studied her quietly before revealing his feelings.
"I'm scared."
She stroked his red locks then, trying to calm him through touch.
"What if they hate me there too?" he asked.
Sakura smiled softly, eyes closing as sleep threatened to steal her back.
"Don't worry," she told him. "I'll be there. I'll be by your side the whole time. You listen to my whispers. Let them be your strength."
Her voice disappeared as Sakura slipped back to sleep, and her hand stroking his hair remained tangled in his locks. She had wanted to say more, to remind him the people there knew nothing of him, and that he would be treated kindly without being judged. Yet, sleep had gotten the better hold of her.
Even so, despite what more she had to say, Gaara watched her silently as her breaths evened out. Even if it was just those few short words, she had managed to reassure his worries for the moment, and he smiled softly before placing himself closer to Sakura, relaxing and listening to her lights breaths soothe him through the night.
Sakura woke up before dawn. Perhaps too anxious, or with too much on her mind, for she didn't make a mention of Gaara's worry. Instead, she dressed the boy in a concealing cloak, and asked him with a smile if he was ready. He returned her smile with sparkling eyes.
"Let's go see the cherry blossoms," he told Sakura.
She nodded before ushering him to follow quickly behind her.
"Let me know if your gourd becomes too heavy for you," she told him. "I can carry it for you if you like."
Though the offer was there, somehow Sakura knew Gaara wouldn't let up his canister to her.
"I'll be alright," he told her, trudging closely behind her towards the village's exit.
As the entryway came closer to view, Sakura could spot one guard watching them in the distance.
"Keep your head down," she told Gaara, for Rasa had it made it extremely clear that he didn't want this knowledge to return to the council.
Yet, as they drew closer and closer, Sakura sensed the little boy behind her stop frozen in his place. As she turned back to look at him, he had picked up his head to look past her and towards the single guard. His eyes were round, distant, and his mouth was open.
"Gaara? What's wrong?" Sakura whispered.
The boy said nothing, his eyes focused entirely past her. She stumbled slightly as the small breeze in the air suddenly erupted as a gust, and wind began blowing hard around them. Yet, before Sakura could grimace at the sudden change in weather, she felt the figure suddenly drawing closer towards them. Her head whipped back behind her just in time to catch the guard's eyes with hers.
Yet, it was no guard now in the way of their exit.
"Rasa," Sakura whispered, grimacing as the man drew closer to them.
Sakura narrowed her eyes, unsure what his purpose there was now. Why was he alone? Why was here so early? Was he there to stop them, did he have a change of heart? Yet, as he strolled closer, eventually coming next to Sakura, he didn't even glance in her direction.
"Don't forget the set date," he reminded her. "I will not tolerate any later."
Sakura only kept her lips pursed, and it seemed Rasa did not care for her words then. His eyes were set already on his target, and he continued to stride towards the small boy. Sakura watched as Rasa stopped short in front of Gaara, the winds picking their robe and cloak. Even if the old man's eyes were on the boy, Gaara looked forward and past him. Still, his eyes were anxious and his nose flared as his breathing became quick.
Gaara was nervous.
"Gaara," Rasa called.
The boy did not stir to his voice, and Rasa was unable to earn Gaara's eyes like he had wanted. So, instead of waiting in the strong winds as sand danced around them, Rasa said what he had come out here to tell his youngest son.
"Behave yourself, boy."
Again, he waited for no remark before strolling past his son, and as Sakura watched auburn hair disappear into the brown cloud of sand, she noticed Rasa did not once look back towards them. For Gaara, the words were as belittling to him as everything else his father told him. For Sakura, the rosette wondered if Rasa would keep up his facade with Gaara until his dying days.
'He cares for Gaara,' Sakura thought to herself.
Yet, this revelation she decided to leave best secret until the day Rasa decided to reconcile with Gaara.
'If he ever does…' Sakura thought, unsure how their relationship ended in her own time.
She called to the boy, nudging her head when his eyes found hers.
"It will take us at least three days," she told him. "Stay close by me."
To her words, the boy quickly rushed to her side then. He looked up at her with determined eyes.
"I'm ready," he told her.
Sakura smiled.
"Let's go then."
As they ran, Sakura began to realize this windy storm around them was not something that simply happened here in Suna at this early time of day. The weather was hard-hitting today, and the winds mildly blinded them with sand. Yet, Sakura was accustom to route, and made sure to stop at times to make sure the boy was able to see her through the small storm. Despite the obstacle that mother nature prepared for them, Sakura welcomed the hardship wholeheartedly.
Everything leading towards the scroll had come so easily for her, that she greeted any tribulation thrown at her. In her mind, the harder it became to obtain the scroll, the more sure of its magic to help her return home she thought of it. So, she accepted the winds all around her, striding through still with determination.
And she was happy to see Gaara keep up with her fast pace. She worried Gaara's young age and lack of training would lead these three days to possibly four or five, yet the boy kept up, probably through sure awe at their destination was what drove his legs to be as fast as they could be. Still not the fastest pace Sakura could do, the rosette was content with their progress, especially through this small, windy storm.
They traveled all day without words, and Sakura had mused at the thought that this many hours had been the longest she had gone not speaking with the boy for quite some time. Only when their destination became blinded with both darkness and sand did Sakura decide to call it a day and began setting up small camp for them. She had used some abandoned ruins and rocks to shield their tent from the wind, and only when the two sat in their small shelter did Sakura realize how sweaty and heavy-breathing Gaara was.
"Gaara," she lectured him, holding the canteen up as he chugged the water desperately. "You need to tell me when you need a break. Don't push yourself. There is no rush to get to Konoha."
As he popped his mouth back, exasperating, he grinned at Sakura.
"I'm fine," he told her. "I want to get there as soon as we can."
Sakura smirked, thrilled to see the excitement on the boy still despite his fatigue. She wrapped him then in many blankets as they listened to the wind.
"Lay by me tonight," he told him. "It will be cold."
It was then, as Sakura pondered lightly, did the woman realize the direction of the winds.
'Straight towards Konoha,' she thought.
This time of year, she was more than certain they would meet the village in snow.
"Are we near?" Gaara began asking, drawing himself near Sakura and resting against her for warmth.
"Three days," she reminded him.
"Have you ever been there?" he asked then. "What does it look like?"
It's my home, she had wanted to tell the boy. For she knew he would find that information fascinating. She knew he would find some wonderment to that knowledge only a child would see, but held back her tongue.
"It's beautiful," she told him, and was happy to see his eyes still light up to that description. "It's nothing like Suna."
"How so?"
"Where Suna has sand, Konoha has leaves. Where Suna has breaking buildings, Konoha has tall ones."
She knew her words were a little biased then, for her home was the most beautiful, but she painted Konoha to be the most beautiful place Gaara would ever come across in his life. The little boy, hooked on to the rosette's every word, believed Sakura was suddenly bringing him to the most magical of places.
"People will smile at you," she told him. "Unlike Suna."
She watched Gaara smile quietly, eyes falling elsewhere as he drowned himself at the thought.
"Konoha has cherry blossoms, unlike Suna," she finished with a grin.
She needn't say anymore, she realized, as Gaara rested and nestled himself closer towards her. She had already painted a perfect picture in his mind, and his smile never let up as they ate before Sakura nestled with him while she slept. Yet, unknown to her while she rested, Gaara laid with many thoughts of a beautiful, perfect village. As grateful and excited as he was to get to Konoha now, in the back of his mind, he had to wonder again why life was unfair to him.
Why was he stuck in such a place like Suna when the world around him seemed so much more beautiful? Was it because of the monster inside of him? Was he purposefully placed in a crumbling village filled with hate simply because of Shukaku? It made him wonder, made him think, that if Konoha was everything Sakura claimed than he would much rather choose a life there than call Suna his home.
Wise enough to ask himself these serious questions, yet still too young and naive to understand why one village flourished over the other, Gaara spent his night contemplating many things a child would brush away or not worry about until they were much older. He was the one this time to wake Sakura up as dawn began breaking, and his enthusiasm was met with Sakura's own.
"Let's go," she told him. "After today, it won't be much longer."
Before they departed, Sakura eyed their path. The sun did not greet them this morning, but neither did the sandy storm. Instead, it continued through the night, darkening the sky in the direction of Konoha.
'We're bringing a storm with us to Konoha,' she thought.
The shade towards their destination was of a dark purple, a warning to those of the approaching storm. Above her and Gaara were clouds of gray. While they did not threaten the weather around them like the storm farther ahead, they did cool the desert around them with a gentle breeze, and moistened the air with a promise of rain.
She narrowed her eyes when Gaara protested against the warm clothes she tried to get him into.
"No," he whined. "They're heavy. They're hot. They're itchy."
"Better than you catching a cold. You don't want to get sick there do you? If you do, I won't take you to see the cherry blossoms."
To that statement, he whined some more before promising not to get sick.
"Then you'll wear the jacket?"
He narrowed his eyes at her with a pout, but reluctantly nodded in his head.
"Fine," he mumbled.
Once she was in Konoha, Sakura would realize her most tedious day travel would be this second one. With the winds gone, the sand no longer shield the world around Gaara, and the boy stopped to glance at every passing person, every moving creature and every stirring noise. He watched with cautious eyes as other ninja and merchants trailed by him without a glance, he took every opportunity to chase down scorpions, lizards, beetles and foxes that drifted himself away from the trail. At random times Gaara would just suddenly stop, glancing in a direction and asking Sakura if she could hear what he could. There were times he even brought sand out from his gourd, mixing it with the grains around them.
She had told them there was no rush, but still…
"Let's go, Gaara," she always ushered him instead. "You don't want to make the cherry blossoms wait too long."
He followed, but his stops were continuous. Rain also slowed their movements, as they continued on the heavier and more cold the rain became. The rain was freezing, but their sprint kept them warm.
"There it is!" Gaara suddenly cried. "There! There! There!"
Sakura had paid it no mind, but only to Gaara's call did she notice sand and grass were beginning to blend together. The terrain ahead of them was also much more flourished than that behind them.
"Konoha!" Gaara cried enthusiastically.
Sakura stopped their steps then, smiling back towards the boy before explaining to him.
"No, Konoha is still about a day away. We're in the Land of Rivers now."
Glancing back, Sakura stared at the trees for a long time before realizing something.
'We...saved you once. In this country.'
Sakura swallowed hard then, and even if the threat here wouldn't be one until many more years later, she beckoned Gaara to her side.
"Stay by my side where I can see you."
He nodded with a smile, trudging to her slowed pace. Yet, as much as she try to deter away his curious mind and exploring eyes, Gaara relentlessly halted his steps. He asked Sakura what some flowers were, and chasing the animals that he sensed still, and no matter how many times Sakura called him back, reminded him they had to continue without distractions, the boy would only laugh as he continued off the trail. Eventually the rosette gave up and called the day as soon as evening came.
The cold rain had stopped as they finished their dinner, allowing Sakura to build a fire for them. Despite the warm flames, Gaara still wrapped himself within a blanket and nestled against Sakura for more warmth.
"I bet your glad you wore that jacket now, aren't you?"
The boy shivered against her.
"Will it be this cold in Konoha?" he asked her.
Sakura hummed in thought, remembering the direction of the storm.
"It will probably be colder," she told him, watching his nose wrinkle.
Perhaps weather would be the deal-breaker that kept Gaara imagining Konoha was a perfect land.
"Don't worry. We'll be indoors where it's warmer, not out in a tent."
The boy did not reply, instead burying his head into his blanket.
"But, we get to play in the snow. Won't that be fun?"
Gaara's head perked back then, and he eyed Sakura with a glint of amusement.
"Snow?" he asked under his blanket and watched Sakura nod.
He nestled more into the warmth, whispering ever so faintly to the woman.
"I've never seen snow before…"
She grabbed him then, nestling him and his blanket into her lap.
"Well, you're going to see it now so get ready," she told him. "You're going to help me build a snowman, and throw snowballs at one another, and drink hot cocoa."
For the moment, as use to travel as Sakura was, the woman felt homesick as she listed all the things her and Gaara would do together.
"We'll do all the things I use to do when I was young," Sakura said with a smile.
As she lost herself to her thoughts, Gaara eyed her, smiling along with her as he saw happiness dance across her eyes.
"Sakura?" he called for her attention.
As she looked down at the boy in her arms, she could see his eyes twinkle in amusement. Something deep had crossed his mind.
"We should just stay in Konoha," he told her, deciding now before even seeing the place. "We don't have to go back. We should stay."
Sakura chuckled then, pulling Gaara tighter towards her.
"That's a pretty big decision to make. Especially for someone your age!"
She continued to giggle, and only stopped as the clouds above them suddenly passed. The stars came out this cool night, shining brightly for the woman and boy to admire.
"Suna is your home," she told him then, remembering his place in the future. "You're bound to that village..."
Her voice drifted, staring at the stars still. Gaara watched her for a moment before following her line of sight. He blinked at the many stars and listened to Sakura speak more.
"Besides, that's where Kankuro and Temari are waiting for you. Tsutomu-san and Matsuri also want you to come home. Baki-san, Chiyo-baasama...You have a list of people waiting for your return."
Her mouth opened slightly as she thought back of her own family and friends.
"It's the same for me..." she whispered to herself.
Yet, the boy had heard her, and lifted his head and eyes back towards Sakura.
"You mean they're waiting for you too, right? Kankuro and the others."
Sakura bit her lip then, still unable to bring out the truth.
'Not yet,' she told herself. 'Once you know he will be alright, than you can tell him.'
Instead, she turned a smile towards Gaara's direction.
"Right," she lied.
The clouds parted the night sky even more, revealing an array of bright stars. So, Sakura allowed herself to stay up a bit later, laying next to the boy by the fire and watching the twinkling stars. She revealed something else that ruined Gaara's perfect image of Konoha.
"You can't see the stars like this in Konoha. It's beautiful here right now."
Gaara nudged his head back, staring at Sakura for some time before looking back up at the stars.
"Yea," he murmured.
That night, Sakura went into their tent before him. Reminding him to come inside as soon as the fire died out. Yet, the boy disobeyed some, staring at the stars long after the fire had died before the cold got the better of him. He retreated back into the tent, plopping alongside Sakura and shuffling into her hold as soon as she reached for him. Though she fell right back asleep, Gaara was thoughtful while listening to her soft breathing.
'Why couldn't it always just be like this?' he wondered.
Away from Suna. Away from his father. Away from the hate. Even if a dark presence had to tag along, why couldn't him and Sakura just live like this? Traveling during the day, and stopping to stare at the stars at night. He was outside of his prison, his father's chains broken, so the idea to never return dawdled in his young mind. He spent all night thinking of his possibilities now without the eye of his father watching him that he was not the first, this time, to stir Sakura awake. Instead, the young woman woke up with her mental alarm clock. She stretched herself some before smiling down towards the boy.
"Last day," she told him.
He returned her smile with a grin, showing off his missing tooth.
Yet, as soon as they began their run, it didn't take long for Sakura to stop them.
"Why are we stopping again?" Gaara asked Sakura curiously.
"I just need a small break," she told Gaara before pointing to a small pool of water. "Help me fill up the canteens with water."
He did what he was told, but not without watching through the corner of his eye as Sakura began pulling out small canisters.
"What's that?" he asked her as soon as he was done.
He sat next to her then, staring at the black goop Sakura showed him.
"Want to help me?" she asked with a smile.
He nodded, yet tensed as Sakura placed the canister in his hand.
"Just grab a handful and spread it through my hair."
Again, he did as he was told. At first appalled at the smell and texture he was spreading through Sakura's soft hair, Gaara eventually began to laugh as he realized it was like painting a real life person. It wasn't until Sakura began spreading the goop on her eyebrows did Gaara ask.
"This smells bad...Why are we painting your hair?"
For the moment, Sakura stared off in front of her with a distant frown. The truth was much more complicated.
There was probably another pink-haired girl running through the village. Another Sakura, and she didn't want her, her family, or her friends to spot the similarities.
'What will happen if they do?' Sakura wondered. 'Or if I meet myself? Will Gaara make the connection?'
She swallowed hard at the thought, yet, despite the severity that situation would bring, Sakura was undeterred. She had her own personal mission, and pink hair or not, she was going to stroll into that village and get that scroll.
'Home,' she thought.
Her bangs were long enough to hide her forehead now.
"Just felt like a change," she smiled at the boy. "I want to see what it looks like to have dark hair now."
Yet, as soon as Gaara learned that paint was actually dye, his disapproving frown had formed and he looked to be on the verge of crying.
"No..." he whined. "I like your pink hair, don't change it! Didn't you get your name because of your hair? I don't want you to change…Sakura is suppose to have pink hair."
The rosette, now brunette, was only able to calm the boy back down with a promise that she would have pink hair again as soon as they left Konoha. Even if he still argued, or asked why, Sakura was able to convince him to move on with the mention that Konoha was not too much farther.
They ran as she let the dye settle in her hair, stopping a few hours later when she came across another small pool of water. Gaara watched silently as Sakura rinsed out her hair, and took some time making sure every strand was of a darker shade.
"How do I look?" she smiled, showing off her hair to Gaara as soon as she was done.
The boy narrowed his eyes and pouted. He whipped his head and eyes to the side of him before answering.
"Ugly," he told her. "I don't like it."
She laughed to his blatant answer, but agreed with him nonetheless.
"It'll be pink again soon, I promise."
His response was just to turn from her.
"Let's go," he mumbled.
As they ran, there were no distractions, and Sakura was happy with the time they were making. They did eventually hit a cold rain, and as they traveled farther and farther, that cold rain finally became snow. Their feet began to crunch under thick white, and as soon as Gaara started taking notice of not only the white, but also of the green that white collected on, he stopped short.
Sakura took notice immediately, but did not beckon the boy to continue. Instead, she smiled as she watched Gaara suddenly stare at the tall trees around him. The snow falling was gentle, but it blanketed most of the green, and as Sakura had guessed beforehand, a storm had probably passed by some day ago. From the trees, to the sky above, Gaara was in awe at this scenery. Quite suddenly, he kicked the snow under him, and studied the grass hidden under it. Sakura chuckled then, earning his eyes.
"Where did the sand go?" she playfully teased him.
He began laughing to her words before kneeling down to the ground under him. Once again, he was lost in wonderment as he began feeling and studying the grass. He had even took a handful, dirt and all, and brought it to his face to smell it.
Meanwhile, Sakura picked up the snow around her, forming a small snowball. She tossed it lightly in Gaara's direction, but only succeeded in startling the boy as his sand raced from his gourd to shield her snowball from hitting him.
"That's no fun..." Sakura murmured. "I guess we can cross off a snowball fight."
Gaara said nothing, instead coming to stand next to her. He looked up at as she spoke.
"Sorry, Gaara," she told him. "I should have stopped to tell you when we crossed the border. We've been in the Land of Fire for some time."
Gaara grimaced at the name.
"...but it's snowing," he told her.
"It's just the name," she told him, before smiling once again. "This is where Konoha resides."
Gaara's smile grew then.
"Cherry blossoms," he whispered.
Sakura nodded enthusiastically to him.
"Let's go," she told him. "We'll be there soon."
There pace quickened to their enthusiasm. Gaara's wonderment of the village drove him while Sakura felt a sense of normalcy suddenly return. It was like finishing a mission with Naruto back in her young days and of returning home, to the house she and her family lived in entered her mind. Mother would have dinner prepared, she remembered, while father would be welcoming her with congratulations and an earnest ear to hear about her mission.
Yet, as time passed, and night came, and the lights of Konoha were just off in the distance, Sakura remembered then she was not truly returning home.
'Soon,' she reminded herself, and smiled as she heard Gaara suddenly cry behind her.
"There it is! Konoha!"
