Beta'd by DistractedStudent
Chapter Fourty-four
There it is again.
A familiar sound for her but one she had thought to end long ago.
"Don't cry, Gaara," Sakura can hear her voice say.
Yet, as she takes a moment, thinks real hard on it, she can remember the darkness around her is something uncanny. The weeping she is hearing now is a mistake, her mind tells her. Gaara is older now, she remembers.
'Perhaps these tears belong to another,' she ponders.
Another child.
With the same tears.
In this darkness.
...That's not right.
No, she needs to find the light switch, she thinks. No, she needs to get out of this emptiness, she remembers.
No.
She needs to wake up!
To that last thought her body and mind do exactly just that. Like a jolt, she shoots her back straight up from the cushioned bed and gasps loudly. Her body regrets that shot of breath as soon a she is thrown into a loud, fit of coughing. Her eyes scour the room, and sure enough, she can spot the old furniture and windows around her caked in dirt and filth. Even the bed she sits on, as she clutches the fabric under her, feels torn and grainy from years of neglect.
'Where am I?' she wonders through her coughs, body struggling for a clean breath.
In an instant, the circumstances leading up to this point flash through her mind. She had fallen for a trap, the enemy has gotten a hold of her; she is now in unknown territory where they have the upper hand. Yet, despite all this, Sakura still grinds her teeth and remembers what it was she had wanted to achieve.
"Gaara!" she hisses.
She quickly throws the covers off of her, the dust once again cascading down her like a shower before she sprints to the door. Before she takes a hold of the knob, however, she pauses as her racing heart begins to slow. Instead, she gently presses an ear against the door frame and tries to sense any presence whatsoever.
She closes her eyes to heighten her other senses, but even with time can hear nothing but the stillness of the building she is in now.
"Where am I?" she whispers, turning from the door to look back into the room she is currently in.
It's like the air wants to choke her again as she stares at the old bed, dressers and furniture within the room. Sakura has to stifle her cough as she stares at everything coated in dust. The room is well furnished, but it's evident by the state of everything that this room has been abandoned for years. The bedroom is vast in size, with another door leading into a washroom, and the furniture looks like it belonged once to someone well off.
Yet, what catches Sakura's attention the most is the décor of everything around her. She is only aware of one country that styles their homes in a style such as this. Her eyes narrow. That would mean she had been out for days. She quickly shakes her head before power walking towards one of the giant windows in her room.
Sakura sees nothing through the dirty glass but quickly works her way with the foreign window to pry it open. As she pushes the window forward to open the glass frames, she is hit with a wave of humidity. Her eyes grow and grow as she takes a step back to stare at the vast change in climate she has been thrown into.
"This is..."
In front of her is nothing but green jungle. In the distance, she can spot a mountain lavish and lush, and the cry of wild animals can be heard in the far distance. As she stares farther out, she realizes the room she is in is high up. The building she is in is like a mansion.
Dawn begins to breakthrough the tall mountain, and it begins to show off a mist that coats the ground.
At the sight of it all, Sakura clenches her fist.
"I'm somewhere in Water Country," she realizes then, wondering once again how she could be out for so long for them to bring her here.
In the end, it matters not where she is but only who she is with, and the enemy mocks her once more by leaving her alone. Though high, Sakura is able to descend from the window of her room down to other frames. As she climbs her way down, she takes the time to peek into room after room. Yet, like the one she woke up in, the windows are covered in filth, and what little she sees tells her nothing except that this home is abandoned.
As soon as her feet hit the ground, she takes a moment to step back and look at the mansion in front of her. Like the interior, the exterior is dirty with broken debris all around. With an ocean behind it, the jungle that faces the home has begun inching its vines closer over the years with a threat to take over the home.
Given different circumstances, and with the home being maintained better, Sakura may actually have take the time to goggle at its uniqueness. Instead, she turns her back towards it hoping never to return.
Quickly, she races towards the back at the home. As dirt becomes sand, her eyes scout for a boat. Finding none, she instead looks out at the far, giant, blue ocean. She gulps when she realizes the water seems forever around her. Perhaps, there was no reason to tie her up for this very reason. She recollects in her mind the many islands in Water Country, and narrows her eyes angrily at the probability of her being on one small island.
She tries to reach out to her chakra, and even presses a foot down onto the cool water in hopes of standing on it. Yet, as the water sinks her foot in, she gives an annoying click of her tongue.
"Damn it," she whispers before turning back towards the home, past it, and into the jungle instead.
She runs unsure if she will find friend or foe, but where civilization is is the chance that a boat exists. It is what she needs now, she decides. Time passes as she races through the thick green, kicking up wet dirt and chasing away shy animals whose paths she crosses. Yet, with time to settle in her mind, her senses heighten, and it doesn't take her long before she realizes she is being followed in the trees once again.
Yet, she feels no threat, and carries on for some time in silence. However, as time passes and she finds herself hitting no sign of life, or dead ends that lead to the ocean, her frustration grows. Soon enough, her pursuer hears the anger boiling within her as she aims a punch to the tree he settles in.
"Bastard!" she calls to him, watching him leap away from the shaking tree she had just hit.
As he settles onto another tree, Sakura turns to race through the forest once again. However, her feet slow to a defeated stop when she is once again faced with sand and ocean. Her attempts at every direction are beginning to damper her soul, and she just stands there while staring out at the vast ocean.
Yet, even though she is defeated for now, she knows she'll think of another way. Hell, she'll make her own boat with the materials in the home if she has to.
As soon as she feels his presence once again behind her, Sakura rethinks that thought. Obviously, he would have a boat. It didn't take her long to recognize his aura, yet she has a hostile attitude towards him knowing all that he has probably done, and what he had done to her earlier. She turns her angry eyes towards the tree he hides in.
"You don't have to follow me," she calls out to him. "I'm not planning on going anywhere until I speak with Gaara anyway."
She quickly grows bored as his reply is silence. Yet, before she can turn away, it seems he too finds the absurdity in chasing Sakura when she has no means to escape. Perhaps, curiosity is what led him to follow; to see where she goes, or what she will do. Not to mention, as he knows, the animals here are not always so kind.
Nonetheless, he can see why his approach is met with her angry eyes. So, instead of keeping his distance, he jumps from the tree to the ground below. He lingers behind her some, giving Sakura her space. As he looks up at her, the rosette is actually surprised to be met with a soft smile from him.
A lot of things surprise her with his appearance actually. Though his black clothes are relatively familiar, the purple that typically dons his face is now gone. Yet, that could just be because the circumstance now led him to forsake it for the moment. It actually appears as though he carries no weapons or scrolls, more evidence to her that he followed her with not-so-hostile intent. In the end, she stares mostly at his biggest, different, physical trait; his one glass eye.
Despite her surprise, she keeps her facial features nonchalant. She is still upset at what he has done to her, and says nothing to him. She doesn't return his smile, and instead turns her head away from him to stare back at the ocean. In her mind, she is wondering exactly how far the next island is.
"Sakaasan..."
Her eyes widen a little to Kankuro's call, but she keeps her head steady towards the ocean in front of her. Like Gaara, despite the man behind her, her thoughts suddenly fall to the shy brunette boy who was the first of his siblings to reach out to Gaara. He embraced her with hugs and laughter, and warmed her heart during troubled times in Suna. In the end, she is unable to ignore him like she had wanted and instead turns her distressed features to face him.
Despite her look, Kankuro's smile seems to grow as she responds to his call.
"Y...You're the first to remember that name."
Perhaps, despite the sadness in her features, he can see the recollection of that name she has in her eyes. Maybe her turn to him from his call is assurance enough for him. Whatever reason, despite her silence, his smile seems to only grow until it turns into a giddy grin.
"I...hated that name," Sakura finally reveals.
Her blunt words make the young man's eyes round, and his smile falls shamefully fast. They stare at another again, Kankuro waiting on Sakura to say more, yet the young woman doesn't know if she owes anything to him right now. What innocent lives has he taken alongside with his brother, she wonders. Not to mention, there is a part of her that blames big brother now for letting little brother turn out like this.
At her departure, Sakura was leaving Gaara with so many, including Kankuro, that she was sure in her heart he would continue to help Gaara transform into the man she knew in her world. Then, maybe that's her own fault. Maybe she was relying too much on others. Her own fault thinking those who had done so in her world would do the same here. At that thought, and her long stare on Kankuro's glass eye, a little of that blame and anger dissipates from her.
"I was never meant to replace your mother," she tells Kankuro. "I just wanted to be a friend to you and your siblings."
Sakura can see the hurt in Kankuro's eyes from Sakura's words, and he even sighs while brushing the back of his head while tearing his gaze away from her.
"You already have a mother," Sakura continues. "She clearly loved you all."
Kankuro's eyes pick up back to Sakura's emerald gaze, and he studies her momentarily.
"She wrote you all a song," Sakura adds.
Kankuro straightens his back, another sigh escapes him and he closes his eyes for a moment.
"Aa," he says, forcing the small smile to return. "You just...You know...We...I was young."
Not an excuse, but reason he gives to Sakura. She can understand a little of what he is saying.
"Fifteen years, you were always Sakaasan in my mind. It may just take some time for me..."
Sakura grimaces. In the end, perhaps it doesn't really matter what he calls her. Yet, his words make her wonder just exactly how long that "time" he speaks of will be. She doesn't necessarily owe him time at all. She would rather like to end this as soon as possible before finding a way back home. If she thinks about it, perhaps he is playing with her. Toying the idea that she is the real Sakura just to lead her astray. After all, there were many assassins they said with her face, why does the brunette now not ask anything and just conclude that she is the real one?
"I need to speak with Gaara," she tells Kankuro.
Kankuro's eyes fall then, and he swallows hard while staring at the ground. Eventually, he nods.
"Yeah..." he almost whispers. "He'll be here soon."
Kankuro offers up another smile, and at this, Sakura narrows her eyes. There is something about his speech, his presentation, that strikes her odd. This Kankuro seems held back, timid, and unsure of himself. She had seen his child self act in just the same manner, and she wonders why he is so different here compared to the one in her world.
'Perhaps the people he was suppose to meet never showed up in this world,' she wonders.
Maybe he was going to make friends that boosted his confidence and made his speech more resolute. Perhaps war had taken those people from him, or her presence had stopped him from reaching out to others. To those thoughts, Sakura grimaces again while her eyes scan the sand at her feet.
'I didn't do anything wrong...' she continues to tell herself. 'I showed a little boy love. I showed three lonely children to rely on one another. How could that be wrong?'
Her eyes furrow the harder she thinks.
'I didn't help to raise murderers!'
"Is it true?"
Kankuro's voice breaks her line of thinking, and he continues as her eyes go back up towards him.
"That you still love Gaara?"
Sakura's eyes widen briefly, but if she recalls the conversation, it was true she claimed that before running into the arms of Kankuro's puppet. Kankuro had heard her divulge of words, and without her answer just lets his smile grow.
"I...I think Gaara will be so happy when he hears that."
Sakura studies Kankuro some more, her mind trying to figure out the man in front of her. He is older than her now, threatened her life with harsh words before he knew who she was. Yet now...his demeanor is different, and his smile comes much too easily. It's as if…
'...he is still a child,' Sakura thinks.
The psychological aspect of what's happening in front of her finally shines, and she almost gawks at him for a moment before trying to shake away the dismal thought of it all.
"Why…?" she finally manages to ask.
Her soft question is heard, and Kankuro stares at her again with a tilt of his head.
"Why?" she asks again, her lips quivering after. "Why are you doing this?!"
Her cry makes his eyes widen.
"Why is he doing this?!"
Questions she was saving for Gaara suddenly spill, and she can feel the heat in her eyes return. Kankuro was the most willing when he was young, he pushed Sakura into letting him meet the little brother everyone told him to hate. He had actually listened to her when she said they would share the closest bond as brothers. Where had Kankuro gone wrong with Gaara? She was not here to stop this spiral of madness, but surely Kankuro should have…
"Ah Sakaasan! Don't cry!" Kankuro cries.
Shereally hates that name.
Sakura picks her head up as she senses the man now approaching her fast. Even if she takes a step back from him, his forwardness still met with hostility, he notices none of it. Instead, he pulls out a cloth from his pocket, offering it to Sakura.
"Take it," he says. "It's clean, I promise."
From the black fabric to his face, Sakura's tears do not break, they linger on the corners of her eyes. Instead, she takes a moment to stare more into his shiny, glass eye. Glass that reflects nothing but an image of her tired self. Along with the glass eyes comes a deep scar similar to Kakashi's. The bags under his eyes tell her he is worn, at least for the moment, and the small wrinkles that begin to show on him tells her he has been in a world of stress.
Her gaze shifts from his glass eyes to his real one. There she can read his emotion, and his goodwill towards her now.
"Here," he says while taking her hand and forcing the cloth into her palm. "You can keep it."
As he takes a step back, Sakura catches a glimpse of his sympathetic smile. It is enough to make her suddenly lax, and she nods at him before stuffing the cloth away and brushing the wetness from her eyes.
"Thank you," she whispers.
Kankuro nods, smile growing.
"Of course, if there's anything you need. You just let me know."
Sakura's lips curl back, and she feels guilty for treating Kankuro badly thus far. Whether an enemy or not, whether his actions these past years have been as atrocious as Gaara's own, Sakura owes him the benefit of the doubt. For the little boy she knew him to be, friends she called him, she owes him an explanation and is willing to listen to his story until she judges him. Maybe he is more innocent than she is trying to paint him in her mind.
"Kankuro..." she mutters, as a question that has been bothering her finally finds voice. "What happened to your eye?"
His answer doesn't come, and it takes some time before Sakura looks back up at him. Her words have wiped the smile from his face, and stares at her with a hard, straight face. Both his eyes now show only her reflection, and it is enough for Sakura to realize that subject is a sensitive. One he is not ready to share with her, if ever. So, instead, he turns partially.
"Come on," he says. "Let's go back, I can make you something to eat."
She hesitates, and even looks back towards the jungle and ocean. A part of her still tells her to flee, that Kankuro is not truly a friend to her now.
"We can talk while we do so," he offers her instead.
Bait, she would call it, but she can't stop herself from following to feed her hungry curiosity. She wants to hear his story, she wants to answer the questions he undoubtedly has for her, and she wants to know when she can see Gaara. So she follows Kankuro back into the thick jungle with slow steps as they make their way back to the mansion.
Despite the silence, Sakura does take the time to ask a few last questions.
"You believe I'm the real Sakura?" she asks Kankuro.
She can see his shoulders rise and fall as she asks this. Time ticks by again and silence looms.
"I do," he finally admits.
From an enemy's viewpoint, Sakura would call Kankuro foolish. She has done nothing to convince him that she truly is her despite her knowing otherwise. In her heart, her emotional viewpoint, she is grateful to the brunette in front of her. His soul may be the most kindest of all three siblings.
"Thank you," Sakura whispers to him.
Quiet again, but with time, Sakura picks her head up as soon as she hears Kankuro chuckle lightly. Her steps follow, but Kankuro's own stop for a moment and only pick up when he is next to her. He looks down at her with a playful smile.
"You don't look any older though!" he grins, and his eyes scan her face once more. "You actually look younger than me now."
Truth to his words, for she really is the younger between the two now. Yet, she humors the lie she had begun with Chiyo.
"I age well," she says.
Kankuro tilts his head some to his words, and the longer he stares, the more awkward Sakura begins feel. Eventually, as his smile grows into a grin, Sakura stops their movement.
"What?" she asks, a little annoyed.
"Well..." Kankuro begins, rolling his shoulders as he looks back out in front of them. "Nah. Nothing. Never mind."
He picks up their walk again, and Sakura lifts an eyebrow at him before racing to catch up to him.
"What?" she asks a little more fervently, his words and body language making her curious.
Kankuro quickly shakes his head, his eyes still not returning to her.
"Tell me," she pushes.
Immediately Kankuro sighs, and his hands sink into his pockets as he slouches while they walk.
"It's nothing. It's just..." he trails off again, and as he continues his voice becomes more hush. "When I was little I always thought you were pretty."
Sakura blushes lightly. Walking the streets of her home, she has been approached by, and met with, many children. Some who have complimented her beauty whether it be her hair or eyes. So, as Kankuro reveals this, she doesn't think his words a lie.
"Seeing you now," Kankuro continues while he stretches his neck and rubs that back of it. "Now that I'm older..."
His words come to a stop, and he glances quickly at Sakura before his eyes go back out in front of him. From his neck his hand finds its way over his mouth, and through it he finishes his words.
"You really are cute."
Sakura's blush deepens. She is still not familiar with men close to her age complimenting her, and can't help herself from diverting her eyes away to the ground next to her. As she humors his words in her mind, she half-wonders if Kankuro, from her world, ever shared the same thoughts while viewing her from a distance. Yet, as that thought comes to mind, as well as Kankuro's younger self, Sakura is able to brush away the bashfulness and turn to Kankuro with a lift of her brow.
"You were just calling me Sakaasan a few minutes ago," she shoots back. "Sakaasan. Sakura. Okaasan."
It's like she has hit him hard, for he grits his teeth as his eyes shy away from her once more. He even gives a small hiss of pain.
"I know! I know!" he says. "I'm just...you know...It's been fifteen years and...now you're here. I don't know how I'm suppose to feel. Like, I'm happy but I feel like I shouldn't be. I should be mad at you or something...but I'm just..."
He sighs when he realizes his ramblings are just showing off an insecure being.
"It's alright," Sakura says, trying to brush away his worries. "I'm glad to see you again too."
As he looks at her, he almost gives her a surprised expression.
"Really?" he asks.
Sakura can't help but wonder why this would even be a question to him. Perhaps he thought she left them behind because she cared nothing for them, or maybe he is shocked she still says that after all the things he has done. Yet, if she thinks hard on it, searches deep within her soul for an answer, she can't help the small smile that follows.
"Yeah," she admits with a nod. "It's always nice to see a friend again."
It's Kankuro's turn to blush this time, and his hand is still stuck around his mouth as his eyes sway out in front of him. He needs admit nothing verbally for her to see that her words have lifted his spirits.
As they return home, and march their way into the kitchen, Sakura steps back to watch him brings out the old, dirty looking pots. She must make a grotesque face, for he grins apologetically before beginning to work above the stove.
"We...haven't had time to fix up this place," Kankuro admits. "Apparently this whole island belonged to some rich guy and his family. As you can see, they either died or left the island long ago."
Sakura says nothing, but instead listens as she reaches for the glass bowls. She gently wipes her thumb across the dish, grimacing more as the dust on the cracked bowl slides along with her skin. She brings the dishes to the sink next to Kankuro, and he takes a moment to watch her wash the dishes.
"We each kinda just come and go. We really don't stay here that long, just a couple of days here and there for each of us."
Kankuro continues to speak and his words make the gears in Sakura's head turn.
"This is one of their bases?" she wonders.
While the lone home is quite big, she doubts it can house an entire army. Perhaps what Kankuro means is a select few of them.
"By we you mean…?" Sakura pushes.
She can see through the corner of her eyes that Kankuro tenses lightly. Perhaps, by her pressuring, he is reminded that Sakura is not truly on his side. It could be that before her capture the young man had been lectured and reminded the importance of not revealing much. He speaks vaguely.
"Just those close to Gaara."
Yet, he also accidentally slips a little more.
"He doesn't really get close to anyone..."
With that slip, Sakura notices the hurt in his voice. That alone makes Sakura's heart sink. Kankuro was supposed to be the closest one to Gaara. In this world, does that position fall to another, or no one at all? She also makes note of the underlying message Kankuro is not saying to Sakura. That people come and go here, but it is a select few.
"Gaara was closest to you when he was younger," Sakura mentions. "I have no doubt you're his closest ally in this, aren't you?"
The spoon that stirs stops for a moment, and Kankuro falls silent and thoughtful. Sakura can't help herself from turning to look at him, to possibly understand through his silence what he is emotionally feeling and thinking. Yet, his face is blank as he stares at the brown water he now prepares them. In the end, he gives Sakura nothing.
"Soup is alright for now, right?" he asks while forcing a smile. "Something quick for now, I'm sure you're starving. You've been out for a few days."
'Days...' Sakura thinks, and wonders if Chiyo and Baki worry for her like they claimed they would.
Maybe, if he plays her cards correctly, Kankuro will show her a means to reach them. Though, as she recollects his loyalty to his brother, she realizes that idea is foolish as it gives away this island. She sighs then, staring at the dusty ceiling.
"No one else is here?" she asks.
Kankuro nods.
"Just you and me," he answers her.
'Days...' she remembers.
That thought makes her ponder. How important does Gaara view her now? She imagined him to be like her, wanting nothing but answers to questions that, for him, had probably been stirring inside his mind these past fifteen years. Yet, instead of meeting her when she first awoke, it is Kankuro instead. She would think she were Gaara's top priority as he was for her, but now wonders if he keeps her waiting through hate.
'Chiyo mentioned he wouldn't listen to me, and that he has changed...' she thinks.
Yet, she shakes her head to those thoughts.
'No,' she convinces herself. 'He will listen to me. He did so as a child. He will take the time for me.'
As if to solidify her thoughts, she turns to Kankuro.
"When will Gaara be here?" she asks.
Again, the young man tenses before his gaze shifts towards Sakura. He stares at her with a piercing look for a moment before swallowing hard.
"Soon," he replies.
Yet, his vague answer doesn't pass this time around, and she narrows her eyes more in silent demanding.
"He'll...He'll be here...s-soon," he replies to Sakura. "He-He's taking care of some urgent business up North."
To this answer, Sakura's eyes widen some.
'Up North?' she wonders, vaguely recalling words she had heard in Kakashi's office.
"No word from the others up North yet. Maybe we should send some of the underlings up there to assess the situation and report back."
Kurotsuchi had said this, and the recollection along with Kankuro's words just paints a picture again in Sakura's mind of how very real this war is. How her friends are fighting one another. Blood of those she cares about is being spilled around the world, and instead she stands here waiting to eat soup. Her fists suddenly clench.
Her swaying moods go unnoticed by the young man; instead he humors her more with light chatter before carrying two bowls to the table. He settles into his seat before glancing back towards Sakura.
"Come on," he says with a nudge of his head. "You don't want it to get cold."
It's only then that he notices Sakura's tense body, and his eyes scan her over once more before his features fall.
"Kankuro," Sakura begins. "Tell me everything. Tell me what happened after I left. Tell me what's happened to Gaara."
His eyes go round, and quickly he turns his shocked features from Sakura's piercing gaze.
"A-A-After dinner," he tells her. "Just come sit and eat, yeah? Let's just have a nice dinner. We can talk about nicer things."
Yet, the only appetite Sakura has is that of a hungry mind searching for answers to feed it, and she narrows her eyes towards Kankuro before stepping next to him. To her approach, Kankuro keeps his eyes downcast at his food and refuses to look at her.
"Tell me what's happened to Gaara," she repeats with some distaste.
Still nothing comes from the brunette, and Sakura only grows angrier, and that anger echoes through her next set of words.
"Tell me why three children I cared and loved grew up to be cold-blooded murderers!"
She is surprised by his reaction this time around, as anger now seems to course through him. She takes a step back as Kankuro violently pushes the table away from him. Though the top doesn't move by much, the bowls of soup and silverware he has placed down topple over with the brown liquid now dressing the tabletop and floor. Even if some of the hot soup drips down to his thigh, Kankuro makes no move from his spot, and instead places his head and eyes into the palm of his hand which he rests against the wet table.
His heavy breaths are heard, but Sakura makes no sound. Instead, she is astonished at what she has just witnessed.
"Sorry..." he whispers, eyes still hiding in his hand. "I'll make you some more soup in a minute."
Sakura swallows hard, and berates herself for approaching Kankuro in such a manner. She had noticed before his stress through his features, but is it only now that she truly wonders what hardships he has gone through these past fifteen years. Maybe, just maybe, like her, he is put into war against his will.
To that thought, Sakura draws close. Even if Kankuro still will not look at her, she presses forward by gently placing her hand on top of his. He does not move to her touch, and does not pull away or bring his eyes up. In her mind, she recalls the time she did the same thing to him when he was younger, and wonders if it's possible for him to remember the same. Back then, she had done this and begged Kankuro to not hate his brother, and he had listened.
This time, she asks for something different.
"Please," she whispers. "Tell me what's happened to Gaara."
Time passes, but eventually Kankuro gives her an answer. She watches as his hand slides into her own, his hand embracing her own before he gives it a tight squeeze. It is like her touch is the push, and reassurance, he needs to reveal a dark, painful past.
"I'll answer what I know and can," he whispers.
