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Chapter Forty-nine


She is left alone for a moment while sitting and trying to make herself as comfortable as she can. Her bruises still ache against the dusty cushions. He had told her to take a seat, that they would discuss certain matters.

'Certainly not all...' she reminds herself, for she still doesn't believe Gaara to share every little detail with her.

He had raced off as soon as she sat and told her he would bring her something to eat as they spoke. As anxious as she had become for this moment, she bit her lip and let Gaara disappear as her stomach twisted and turned with hungry need. If she were to think about it, she has only ate a mikan these past days.

Yet, her biggest appetite now can only be quenched by Gaara's words.

'Think about all you want to ask,' she reminds herself. '...and don't let him, or your emotions, rile you up. Hear him out until he refuses to say anymore.'

The moment she catches Gaara stroll back into the room her eyes immediately lift up to his which are already looking back at her. He looks at her with uncertainty resurfacing into his features. He had called her Sakura moments ago, but she can tell he is still wary catching her wearing the mask of the woman who once cradled him in her arms. A part of her knows how pointless it is for him to be so guarded around her since she truly is Sakura. Another part of her can understand judicious acts. As important as his siblings and even himself, claim him to be, this opportunity must be a rare one.

Gaara leads a war once again, yet hides himself from it so as not to be taken out. She is somewhat surprised she is even allowed in this home and not kept within that hot mountain.

His eyes never leave hers once he brings a tray and sets it on the table in front of her. She says nothing while watching him pick up a decorative pot and cup, the kind she has seen on television and in magazines, and pours the tea before carefully offering it to her. Despite the way he holds it, fingers around the handle while cradling the bottom, Sakura reaches for the cup with both hands she is traditionally use to. At the sight of seeing her fingers reach towards the cup, Gaara pulls it away and rebukes her like a child.

"No," he tells her. "You will burn yourself if that is the way you wish to hold your tea."

Sakura brings her hands back, studying Gaara's small grimace as he stares at the table for a moment before setting the tea back down.

"You will wait for it to cool. Then you may drink."

Before she can reply, he once again strides out of the room which makes the rosette sigh. Perhaps, he does this with a purpose, she thinks. Perhaps, he is afraid of the conversation to come and runs away before they can even begin. Looking back at the tea on the table she reaches one more time for it. Despite Gaara's warning, and the light steam that decorates the cold air, Sakura takes a hold of the delicate glass and grimaces that the heat is nowhere near as hot as Gaara had claimed. She brings the cup towards her lips.

'Wait...'

Her eyes widen to a faint, chemical odor that is masked with herbs, and she takes a moment to study the contents of the tea for a moment.

'But this is...'

She stares at the tea for some time, lost in her thoughts, before finding a conclusion in her mind.

"I see..." she whispers, before setting the tea back down towards the table.

He is certainly on guard, she realizes. Her strength may be gone, but her senses aren't, and the poison in the drink is a strong one. Perhaps, it was a test for her. Perhaps he remembers the medic she was, the way she worked with plants. Maybe other Sakura's have fallen for this trick. Yet, at the same time, the simple fact that he humors her now tells her there is a bond between them that he hasn't severed. With whatever anger he has towards her, claiming her to have abandoned him, he still keeps her in his home, has not killed her, and even brings her food.

Yet, deep down, she knows this man has done horrible things to her friends.

Sakura's eyes follow Gaara once he enters the room again. This time his eyes stay on the tray in his hands, however, they do waver over her cup of tea as he passes by it.

"Thank you," Sakura comments once he hands her the bowl of rice crackers.

"Of course," he remarks, taking a bowl of his own. "If there is anything you would like all you need do is tell me."

Sakura nods to this, but her focus is entirely on the rice crackers in her hands. She studies them for a moment, even takes a nibble off of one before deciding its safe to take bigger bites. Throughout all this, Gaara watches her carefully.

"Not to your liking?" he asks, noticing her hesitance.

She shakes her head to this, taking even bigger bites now.

"It's been days since I've eaten," she tells him. "I just don't want to rush and upset my stomach."

She looks at Gaara, and her eyes widen as she spots his eyes narrowing in anger suddenly. The bowl he grips, even threatens to break.

"My captains offered you nothing?" he asks with a small hiss.

Sakura quickly shakes her head while wiping off her lips of crumbs. If anything she has learned from being here, it's that Temari is protective of Kankuro, and that Kankuro may, or may not, have been injured by Gaara himself. She is also very, very aware of the anger that Gaara still carries in him.

"Kankuro did," she quickly speaks; trying to dissipate the anger in Gaara.

Her words seem to rock him from his world back to reality and even some anger leaves him once he looks at her. Yet, the pot that boils has yet to simmer, and she can see rage in his eyes. Once again, Sakura is learning to read Gaara.

"The acts of my captains are deplorable. I ask that you not to regard my army, or I, based on how those two acted in front of you. My men are ascetic creatures."

Sakura's eyes nearly bulge to Gaara's speech. She isn't what to first pick at first. His way of speech is off, the fact that he tells her Kankuro and Temari acted terrible towards her, and the way he describes his army as creatures has her all wondering how exactly Gaara views this world and the people around him. Instead of replying right away, she takes another rice cracker from her bowl, her thoughts her own until her eyes land onto the bowl Gaara holds onto. She swallows hard before looking back at Gaara who clutches the bowl close to his chest.

"What are you partaking of?" Sakura asks, nudging her head towards Gaara.

She tries her best to shift her speech. Though she is certain her vocabulary isn't as broad as his, she wants to remind him now that he is speaking to another intellectual. She will remind him, once again, that she is his equal lest he look down on her.

"Ah," Gaara muses, tilting the bowl some before offering to hand it over to Sakura. "Would care for some? Simple cakes."

Sakura eyes the bowl but declines with a small shake of her head.

"I'm alright with crackers, thank you."

"I can bake you something else if you'd like. I'm experienced in baking," Gaara says.

That information makes Sakura's eyes nearly bulge and it suddenly becomes a little harder to swallow her dry cracker. She whips her head towards Gaara in surprise.

"You can bake?!" she cries in surprise.

She watches as Gaara gives her the smallest of nods, never breaking their gaze on one another. Yet, for Sakura, she is again in her mind filled with wonder.

'Does Gaara in my world bake, or know how? He never seemed like that sort of person. Then again, neither does this Gaara. He must have picked it up from...'

Her mouth drops some and her eyes suddenly twinkle in wonder. She knows there is a name she wants to throw out that may be taboo to him, so instead she asks with vague words.

"From when you were younger?" she asks. "You continued to learn?"

To her assumptions he merely shrugs before digging in the bowl and pulling out a sweet bun.

"Perhaps," he tells her. "In all honesty, who is to say where my interest first garnered. It may have come from a time I've long forgotten."

Sakura can't help the small smile as she watches Gaara begin to eat the bun.

"It looks as though your appetite for sweets has gone unchanged."

She hopes for him to look at her with recognition; to recall the child he once was. Yet, he looks away from her as he chews. His face shows no interest in what she says and instead he stares out to the side of him, as if he is waiting for something, or someone, to suddenly appear. Perhaps, these are stories he has heard before, Sakura wonders. Maybe her words now just paint her as the fake he has seen, and heard, times over and over again. The thought makes her smile sadly and eyes fall. The memories they share are personal, and it's disappointing for her that people were able to learn their secrets just to get close to Gaara.

The longer she stays silent, Gaara too only continues to munch on the contents in his bowl. It makes the rosette wonder if he relies on her to speak now to carry out the conversation. Even if he was the one who had promised their would be a talk between them. She pouts lightly as her eyes drift to Gaara's bowl of sweets. She tries to convince herself then that maybe, just maybe, Gaara says nothing and shows no interest merely because the sweet treat has captivated him much like in his younger years.

'Just like with kakigori,' she thinks, her soft smile returning as she recalls those warm nights eating the sweet ice.

Even if it hasn't been years for her like it has for everyone around her, the first night she convinced Gaara to follow to the kakigori stand seems so long ago now for even her. She smiles at the thought of that night before looking back towards Gaara. Her next sentence finally brings his eyes back to her.

"Tsutomu-san. Is he…?"

Sakura's chew on her bottom lip then and casts her eyes away. She may have spoken too soon as the math in her head tells her Tsutomu has possibly passed by now. If not through his age, war is another possibility that has taken him. Perhaps, he may be like Chiyo or Baki, joining against Gaara. Hopefully her words now…

"That is a name I have not heard in some time."

Gaara finally speaks and it's enough to get Sakura to look back up at him. She watches as Gaara tilts the bun in his hand as if he is examining it and narrows his eyes in time.

"The last I saw of that man was before..." Gaara stops his words then and Sakura is surprised to see him turn a hard gaze towards her.

'He won't say when?' she wonders, trying to understand his stare now.

She draws back into her mind, wondering what he could be expecting of her now. He waits on her, she is aware of this, and she falls back to the thoughts of the old man.

'The last he saw him…Ah!'

She understands him now, that he wishes for share no secrets of his past. It is, her, perhaps, who tells him something others who have taken her face as a mask have never been able to share before.

"The last time you saw him was with me," she states more as a fact than a question. "Before we traveled to Konoha."

There is a sudden twinkle in Gaara's eye, and Sakura let's out a heavy breath as if she has just answered a trivia question to a small game. His answer to her is a nod but Sakura frowns once more. Gaara catches the sight of her sudden grief, and lifts his chin before addressing her.

"It is possible the old man still lives," Gaara informs her.

Yet, the idea of Tsutomu dead isn't what weighs Sakura's heart in that moment, she is more burdened to learn Gaara has not met the only man who showed him great kindness in his youth for over fifteen years. He was suppose to be one of the few Sakura was sure would help Gaara continue down his path of righteousness in her absence. The thought lingers, but Sakura quickly tries to dismiss it lest the disappointing scenario of Gaara's outcome drives her to anger.

"Nn," she hums while shaking her head. "Tsutomu-san was a good man. He opened his heart to you in a way I tried to convince others to do. I think, wherever he is now, he knew this as well."

Sakura offers Gaara a soft smile.

"I would thank him, if the chance ever comes."

She keeps her eyes steady as Gaara does the same to her and he studies her for a moment before replying.

"That man is someone I would...like to speak with as well. Someday."

The faintest hint of kindness shows in this Gaara again, and Sakura feels rejuvenated at hearing him. She feels she is slowly drawing out the little boy she remembers.

'There is good in Gaara,' she reminds herself.

Silence follows, and it's a drawn out one as both continue to pick at their food. Though bursting with questions, Sakura had wanted the conversation to be led by Gaara first, but as she steals glances at him, she finally comes to the conclusion that he has put little to no trust in her.

"Gaara," she finally calls to him, nabbing back his eyes. "You have to tell me what more I can say to make you believe I really am Sakura."

Her words make the redhead sigh heavily before he places the bowl he holds back onto the table. When his eyes return to Sakura, she is met with hostility, but his words do also let her know that there may still be a chance he can be persuaded.

"I try to think of an instance, a moment, that we shared. Yet, everything..."

"We were constantly alone at times," she tells him. "I can start in the beginning if you like, I can tell you of the time I found you outside of Suna. I can tell you of stories you may have forgotten about. I can-!"

She desperately rambles, but does stop once Gaara casts his eyes away and holds a hand up to usher her to silence. Her heart sinks once he grimaces and shakes his head.

"All those moments...growing up I treasured them all, but at the same time it felt like poison to my soul. I infatuated myself with the childhood I once had. The deepest kindness anyone has ever shown me came from you."

Sakura is at a lost for her words, hearing Gaara suddenly spill his mixed emotions and watches when he suddenly shuts his eyes as if he is in physical pain. His fingers lace together and he grips his hands tightly together.

"I learned what love was again because of you. It took me years to understand, but I learned what sort of second chance I was given because of you. With you by my side, I knew I could find a purpose in my life that was more than the monster people saw in me."

His eyes flash open, and there is fire in his gaze. He narrows that look straight at Sakura and she feel her soul burn while his grip trembles.

"Sakura," he begins, like a loathsome hiss. "You hurt me in the worst way. They may not be visible, but my deepest scars are the ones on my heart that you placed. Why did you leave me…?"

It's like a blow, Sakura suddenly feels, and she also feels the tension in the air thicken. She is quiet upon hearing Gaara's words, but feels his burning eyes set entirely on her, waiting for her reaction.

Judging by the way he has laced his fingers tightly together, with them threatening to break from his shaking, she begins to think that perhaps the bruises he placed upon her body were more from Gaara thinking her to be the real one than a fake one. Perhaps, he had hurt her because of years of frustration from her sudden departure, not because he thought her fake.

Maybe, it could be a little of both. Maybe it stems from his confusion of her and not being able to place her in a specific category. What is he to do now with the woman in front of him who has brought him both kindness and sorrow?

She jumps lightly when his hands finally give way and his fist hits the couch hard. She can only manage a second, but a few brief thoughts come to mind. He has been waiting for her this whole time, he isn't nearly as patient as he once was. He doesn't seem to like not being in the known; for the fire in his eyes burn more with accusation as she loses herself in her thoughts. She is fairly certain he will place that fist on her body next if she doesn't say something soon.

"I'm..." she begins, eyes glancing back and forth from his eyes to his fist. "Sorry. That is something I can't answer you right now."

She knows it is an apology that Gaara doesn't garner as much as he claims. It isn't her fault he lost his own way, it isn't her fault that she was thrown into the future without a choice.

Yet, she knows it's what Gaara wants to hear, and immediately his brow bone lifts back up. Anger dissipates from him and with it the thick tension. He even brings his hands calmly back to his lap. His gaze turns away from her and he brings a hand up to his mouth. His fingers tap lightly against his lips as if it's his turn to lose himself to his thoughts.

"I had no control over leaving you," Sakura continues. "It's not at all how I wanted our goodbye to be."

Her voice lowers and, along with it, his eyes.

"Especially if I knew it was going to pain you all these years later."

Gaara gives a breathy sigh to Sakura's words and his finger tap a little more feverishly against his mouth.

"Yet...You say there was to be a goodbye. From the very beginning, you planned to leave me behind," Gaara murmurs with accusation.

Sakura narrows her eyes this time; a wrinkle in her nose hearing Gaara twist her words.

"I never planned to hold your hand forever, Gaara," Sakura says.

It is the best she can say for now despite the true reason behind her never being able to stay with him.

"I knew you would one day become the man I envisioned, and I certainly didn't think you needed me to tell you this throughout your life."

Her words must manage something within the redhead, for instead of anger, she is met with calm eyes as Gaara sighs and turns to face her.

"As I said, you left me with words of encouragement that not even my uncle feigned for my part. Yet, your abandonment speaks loudly as well. When it came to you, Sakura, my heart was torn so easily by you. You built me up so high from a broken heart just to tear me back down."

Her eyes narrow once more and her mouth opens to rebuttal once again, yet Gaara's stern gaze, and deep voice, cuts through to her.

"If this is a trick…" he let's his voice trail just enough to earn back her look. "Raise your weapon," he murmurs with almost a need, and he even scoots himself closer towards Sakura. "Raise whatever means they sent with you to use against me. Raise your weapon now, so that I may end this. Because, despite the damage you've done to me, I will not fall apart again because of you."

Sakura blinks, and instantly wonders how many have been sent with her face to hunt down her little friend.

"Otherwise," he continues, placing his hand on top of hers. "I'll indulge in the idea of you being my Sakura."

Her eyes instantly widen and the hand under his grips within itself, making her knuckles white.

'How desperate he must be,' she thinks as his eyes strain for her reaction. 'To trust me so easily, so quickly, how desperate he must have been to meet again.'

Her eyes shake while staring at Gaara, and for a moment, she wonders just how desperate he was as a little boy for her.

"There's a story of a little boy who traveled the world, searching everywhere he could for his best friend."

Kankuro's words ring in her head and she feels the heat in her eyes returning. Even Gaara, whose gaze she still locks with, widens his eyes at her emotional display. For the first time, Sakura wonders,

'What damage have I done showing Gaara kindness?'

Perhaps, though the idea seems cruel, Gaara would have flourished better without her. Iruka words even begin to echo,

"It's because you love him. Worrying for his sake, and wishing him the best is just one of the many things that come with love."

'He searched for me, because he loves me. I'm here now because I lovethe child he once was. No matter what, even if our views our different, there's a bond between us that is still strong,' Sakura thinks.

For her, the feeling is almost familiar. For there was a deeper love she had in her for a man the world called evil, and now…

"Can I hug you?" she asks with a voice that cracks.

Gaara's eyes widen once again and his hand retracts instantly from hers. Perhaps it's because Sakura's face is obvious to him that she is holding back tears, or because he did not expect her to be this forward. Maybe, through these years, he has pushed those away who tried to get close to him. Perhaps, it has been many, many years since he was embraced with a heartfelt hug. Whatever reason, he is silent as he looks at Sakura in surprise.

The young woman is much too impatient; Gaara's cautious, teal eyes simply remind her more of his child self. She never receives an answer and instead she scoots towards Gaara before lacing her free arm around his neck. As much as she wishes he was small once more so that she could pull him in to be smothered, she instead rests her chin on top of his hard shoulder. Nevertheless, despite his size, Sakura squeezes him just as much as she did his younger self.

There is so much she disapproves of the man she holds, so much pain he may have cause onto others, but she is also aware how reform can come when you least expect it. As much of a lost cause others have told Sakura that Gaara has become, she still knows there is light within in his soul..

"I'm happy you're still alive, Gaara," she settles on saying, for a beating heart still has an opportunity to be swayed.

Gaara, meanwhile, tenses at her touch. His hands remain at his side and he instead lets Sakura lean and nudge her way into his form. She doesn't expect him to return the embrace since she is certain that she garners just a little mistrust in him despite his claims. He may even think this closeness now is some sort of trickery on her part and just patiently waits for her to make her move and attack him. Yet, even if he is stiff to her touch, he doesn't push her away, and the scenario just reminds Sakura more of the child he once was.

"I'm sorry," she whispers into his ear. "You had to wait this long for me. It must have been so hard not knowing what happened to me..."

This time, Gaara does move, and it comes in the form of his hands gently cradling Sakura's waist before he moves his forehead to rest on her shoulder as the weight of her words settle in.

"Sakura," he speaks this time, a pause in between before he says more. "You have no idea how much I wanted you to hold me like this again."

His head hangs low, but he is close enough that his red locks tickle Sakura's shoulder. His embrace isn't as tight as hers, but his deep, quiet voice emphasizes just as much heartfelt emotions as her hug does.

"So long," he says with a quiver in his voice. "You don't know how much I've wanted to talk to you again."

He is quiet after that, but he keeps his hands firm on Sakura's form and his head continues to hang low as minutes pass in silence. Sakura, meanwhile, stares past the redhead and looks towards the dark window while listening to Gaara's breathing and patter of drops against the window glass. Every so often the sky lights up, but the sound of thunder is far off.

It isn't until she feels cool fingers brushing against her thigh is her thoughts broken. She jumps lightly to his touch, and even stares down to where the back of his two fingers had ghosted. From her movement does Gaara clear his throat and bring his head back up. The arms that were against one another slide back to their owners.

"Apologies," he mumbles as his eyes immediately return to Sakura.

"It's alright," Sakura comments, staring at the bruise on her leg Gaara had touched.

Silence returns, and Gaara stares at Sakura while the rosette lets her eyes travel down the many bruises and scars on her body.

"Sakura."

The rosette's eyes return to Gaara's and she is surprised to see the faintest remorse in him. He swallows hard before speaking.

"What I did, I-"

Sakura silence him with a shake of her head.

"Let's not speak of it now," she offers, and smiles towards him.

"Another time then," Gaara tells her. "When it comes, I shall make it up to you. When I can afford to pull a medic away from the battles, I will. I can have them heal you in no time."

Sakura just shakes her head. The irony of his words hit her hard and the mark on her back pops into her mind.

'Maybe, I can ask him for someone who is an expert in seals soon.'

Yet, she keeps that thought to herself.

"Thank you," she says instead. "I'd like to be able to use my arm again soon."

Her playfulness pops out then and Sakura smirks at Gaara much like she had during his childhood.

"I think I owe you a black eye or two."

A tease, a joke of old, and she hopes he recognizes it.

When she first began to tease him at his young age, Gaara had met her jokes with hostilities and a threat. It wouldn't be until much later that Sakura would be able to get a smile out of him and perhaps a tease of his own.

Now, as she looks upon the man in hopes he has retain that joking side of him, she is disheartened to see his lips curl back and a brow bone lift in confusion to her words. Yet, she is more surprised to see him actually contemplate her words.

"You will do no physical harm to me," he says with a stern voice.

Sakura isn't quite sure if he says this because he knows she is aware of his ultimate defense, or he thinks her fighting spirit weak. Yet, before she can figure it out, Gaara shares the faintest of amusement on his face before replying.

"Though, it would be compelling to see your attempts."

Sakura shares a smile even if it is the smallest of humors; she is glad to see it still there.

"The stronger one between us..." he continues, eyeing Sakura once again before he snickers. "Well, as we both witnessed, is clearly I."

Sakura sucks on her cheek then and her eyes narrow as Gaara's grin grows. It seems he finds enjoyment the most making Sakura visibly riled up. His snickers are growing all the louder before she even speaks a word on her defense.

"Fighting is not what I came here for," she speaks over his held back laughter. "I came here to speak with you like we are now."

Despite the gruesome outcome that could have been, Gaara speaks out about their prior incident with a grin still on his face.

"What?" he almost drawls with amusement. "You did not even raise a single fist up even when I threatened you with death."

This, Sakura ultimately has to agree in her mind, is true, and the reason behind it is just as Gaara suggests; that by that point Shukaku's form had withered her down. Yet, Sakura holds it close to her heart that, at that moment, she did not want to harm the boy she still saw in Gaara.

"I'm an expert in taijutsu, and other areas you know nothing about," she mumbles. "You are not."

Gaara's snickers end, and it is only when he gives a long hum does Sakura turn towards him. She realizes she has made a mistake revealing to know more about him than he has told her, all because she knows of his own self in her world, and Gaara lifts a brown bone in wonder. Still, there is only amusement in him.

"Is that so?" he asks. "When you're healed, we shall spar...if you wish."

'Wait a minute-!' Sakura's eyes widen to what Gaara may be possibly suggesting to her.

"You've trained yourself in taijutsu?" she asks.

His eyes fall and he stares at his palms for a moment while flexing his fingers back and forth.

"Long ago," he whispers, almost in a trance. "It was once suggested that I train my body and not rely solely on my defense."

He looks up at Sakura, a stern gaze set on her and waiting for her reaction. Meanwhile, the rosette recounts that advice with ease. After all, years for him have literally been just a week for her.

"Aa," she murmurs with a soft smile. "I just wanted to be sure you would be able to defend yourself against anybody."

She keeps her eyes away, lost in her thoughts as Gaara's smile turns into a grin with her reaction. She cannot see it, nor would she give it any mind, but it is just enough answer for this young man taking one more step closer in trusting the Sakura in front of him.

'With this army though...' Sakura can't help but to think in her mind. 'I guess my advice wasn't necessarily needed.'

Though, the idea of Gaara being able to fight with hits from his body is a fascinating idea and she can't help but feel eager to see his moves, and even more, spar with the man.

"Ah!" Sakura suddenly chimes, remembering an incident from before.

Gaara's eyes follow Sakura as she shuffles in her seat, and she even clears her throat before leaning in closer towards Gaara. He leans to catch her words from a breathy whisper, and thinks her discreetness means an important message.

"Who was that woman you were with earlier? Are you married now? A girlfriend?"

Gaara's eyes widen briefly before he pulls himself quickly away to look down at Sakura in surprise.

Sakura, meanwhile, offers another gentle smile as she wonders if this is a person she may know. Yet, to Gaara's quietness, and even when he swallows a lump in his throat, Sakura's mind slowly recalls the young men and women who layered his at side when she first spotted Gaara in that small town.

'Maybe...it's just for show,' she thinks. 'I would imagine Gaara to be loyal to his lover.'

"She..." Gaara begins. "Is…a lady for this evening."

Sakura face flushes and she is disheartened once again by Gaara.

"A harlot?" Sakura repeats and hangs her head when Gaara nods.

Though the idea is typically glanced at with disgust and judgment, Sakura keeps her heart open and recalls that maybe the Gaara of her world is just the same. After all, she's heard nothing of him taking a relationship. Still, there's some disappointment in the idea that the companionship he seeks is one that is just a lustful night. Kankuro had told her Gaara was not close to him, or any other, so then the only time he becomes close with another is simply when the night is too long and too hot to bear.

'It's his life,' she tries to tell herself.

Still, she feels like a disappointed parent hearing this. She had wished Gaara would meet someone who was kind to him and loved him despite his dark heart and troubling past.

'If that were the case, if he had found someone, he probably wouldn't be the evil man people call him,' Sakura thinks.

Meanwhile, Gaara's eyes narrow towards Sakura, and he gestures slightly with his hand before asking.

"Sakura, were you sneaking glances in my bedchamber?" Gaara asks with a raised brow bone.

From a flushed face do her cheeks redden. She should have known asking this question would reveal her curiosity from earlier to Gaara, yet she had hoped the conversation would have taken a different direction with him revealing to her that he indeed had a wife, and where they would have met, etc. etc.

Her face is all the answer Gaara needs, and instead of reprimand or disgust, he instead smirks and leans himself more into the couch.

"In my mind," Gaara begins, "I treasured you through thoughts from my childhood. As I grew, I basically morphed you into a saint. Yet, now..."

He trails off while craning his chin higher and he looks down at Sakura as she sinks into herself like a caught puppy.

"I'm not some pervert if that's what you're assuming!"

Though Sai and Naruto would argue that she once got caught up in Naruto's reverse-harem jutsu, Sakura roars her words with confidence even with her body shifting in embarrassment. Gaara simply hums and rests his elbows on the couch arm, again he cranes his neck up and eyes Sakura skeptically.

"You say that..." Gaara speaks before humming again. "Still, I do recall a moment when I was young where you led me into the kitchen-"

Before he can say anymore, Sakura points a finger at him and puts the blame on Gaara instead.

"I didn't go in there to peep! The only reason we did was because you were hungry!"

Gaara chuckles before humming to himself again. It seems he has forsake teasing for the moment.

"Is that right?" he asks with wonder. "Perhaps..."

Sakura blinks while thinking on that thought. It's true Sakura's mind is much more fresh recalling those moment, and she wonders of Gaara even believes her or just humors her again.

"It was Baki and Annaisha we walked in on," Sakura continues, trying to refresh his memory.

It happens in a blink of the eye, but Sakura catches sight of Gaara as he clenches his right hand into a tight fist before releasing it. He may try to hide it now as he relaxes the back of his left hand against his mouth, but his eyes dance to the side of him as he recollects a memory.

For Sakura, tension and anger may be building in him she thinks. She is pretty sure his and Baki's relationship have soured since the older man lies his duty against Gaara. As for Annaisha...

"Gaara?" Sakura is quick to ask. "Are you alright?"

It's not a mystery to the redhead why Sakura asks this, both of them know at least one of these people had made an attempt at Gaara's life. Yet, the rosette wonders if the person responsible had really impacted Gaara so much. After all, she is sure there have been many more attempts at it since then; Ones where he even questioned if the woman attacking him then was Sakura herself probably.

"Quite," Gaara responds.

Yet, his deep tone also sends a silent message to Sakura.

"Say no more of her or that incident."

Sakura is willing to give him that. Their discussion of Annaisha happened so long ago in his childhood anyway, yet she is curious of the other.

"I'm curious," Sakura begins, fixing on her choice words. "Do you mind if I ask you a complicated question?"

She is surprised to see Gaara's eyes light up, and his craned neck lowers as he rests his wrist in the air. He is silent, which is just as well as Sakura tries to read his new expression. She immediately falls back to what Kankuro had warned her about to not let Gaara see past her own expressions and pressure her into revealing secrets.

Her thoughts vanish once Gaara holds a finger at her.

"A complicated question I will answer," he whispers in almost a purr. "But-"

And he emphasizes that but with round eyes.

"-you will allow me one as well, and an answer."

His request is fair, Sakura knows, but the way he looks at her now, the want in his voice, it all seems ominous. Still, there is an answer he offers, and Sakura is desperate in the agreement.

"Alright," Sakura says with a nod of her head, and watches as a grin spreads once again across Gaara's face.

Sakura clears her throat and rests her free arm on her lap as her eyes find the floor.

"I met with Baki and Chiyo-baasama before being brought here," Sakura begins.

There is a flash of malice within Gaara's look but it quickly diminishes with no one noting it.

"And I also heard there are many from Suna who go against you."

Sakura turns her eyes back towards Gaara; her face as stern as her question.

"I always imagined Baki, and Chiyo-baasama, people who you may become close to one day. What happened?"

Gaara seems almost surprised by Sakura's question, as if he expected something much more bewildering than what she is saying now. Yet, as he ponders at Sakura's words, his eyes turn away as he speaks.

"I can't imagine why you think I would become close to those two. They both were two people who, like so many in my younger years, hoped for my death."

He looks back towards Sakura after that as if it is almost answer enough.

"One was my father's right hand man. If ordered, Baki would have made an attempt at my life like he does today. As for the old woman..."

Gaara's eyes cast to the side of him while he thinks before continuing.

"I suppose I'm grateful for her existence as she was the biggest help placing this great power within me. Instead of taking pride in the powerful being she helped to make, she lets regret cloak her."

There is a moment of silence before Gaara's eyes shift towards Sakura.

"Their choice is their own," Gaara almost spits. "I don't have time to ponder on the idiocy of those who go against me. I would not beg for them to join me now, or ever. Their existence harbors nothing for me."

Sakura watches as Gaara's eyes narrow.

"It never did."

The answer is simple, Gaara does not know and he does not care. For Sakura, the thought is still disappointing.

"I recall a time you went with Baki to get kakigori. Though I wasn't there, I always imagined that moment stuck with you, since he was another man not afraid to walk by your side," Sakura speaks, smiling at her lap. "And I remember the way you cried in Chiyo's arms, and asking her about your mother."

"Mother..." Gaara's whispers like a hiss.

His voice makes Sakura's eyes widen in surprise and she turns to look up at the man whose eyes now dance looking past her. She has no idea what sort of emotion she has invoked, but Sakura is certain she shakes something deep within the man now through his eyes and voice.

"What?" Sakura asks, her voicing bringing Gaara's shaking eyes back towards her.

"Mother talks to me now. Since you left me, her voice keeps trying to reach me."

Outwardly, Sakura keeps her focus straight on Gaara, but inside her mind is now rattled with questions.

'What is he talking about?' she wonders.

He tries to explain to her by tapping the side of his head, yet his action only makes him look the more mad in Sakura's in eyes.

"Right here. Her voice echoes at times, but I have yet to understand what it is she is telling me."

Sakura chews on her lip while studying the man in front of her. She recalls the moments in his childhood where he spoke to his gourd like it was a figure, but to claim to hear these voices in his head is a scary thought.

"No doubt, she is proud of what I've accomplished," Gaara continues. "She claimed to do so anyway."

Sakura, meanwhile, can no longer hide her concern. She could perhaps dismiss it in his childhood, thinking him to outgrow such a claim that something inanimate represented his mother. Now, that he is older, a thought comes to her mind.

'Early signs of schizophrenia?...No. Maybe manic depression.'

She berates her medical side some and pushes the thoughts away. It's way too early to be putting a diagnosis on Gaara like that. For all she knows, it could just be some type of trauma he gained throughout the years.

"Gaara," she gently calls to him while shaking her head. "Does that not concern you to be hearing voices in your head? You know it's not nor-"

With narrow eyes and teeth that grind, Gaara cuts her off before she can even finish.

"Don't you dare try to educate me on what is considered the uniformity in our human lives!"

His voice begins to grow, and before Sakura can calm him, he stands himself tall before her and continues.

"Do you know who I am?!" he asks. "Do you not remember what it is I harbor?!"

He leans his face close towards Sakura, and for a moment, the rosette swears she can feel a dark aura begin to manifest in the room.

"Do I have to remind you, Sakura?" he asks with a sneer. "Do you want me to show you?"

Sakura, once again, tries to speak, but stops as Gaara continues.

"Nothing about me is normal. My father made that apparent that moment I was conceived."

Rage lights up his eyes and they stare Sakura down with a scowl. Yet, despite his quick swing of emotion, despite the threat he has given her, she remains calm for the both of them.

"Never, not even once, did I ever think something about the way you were born was wrong. As aware as I am of the tailed beast inside you, never did I look to that creature to define the boy I took care of."

Her words seem to douse the fire in his eyes but his stare is still long on her.

"I didn't mean to upset you. I won't speak of it anytime soon unless you want," she continues, her stare just as hard on him.

He seems to be calm for a moment, but he is only back to his normal self once she finishes with a nod and more words.

"Thank you for answering my complicated question."

His face still looks down at her and he is still closer than acceptable. He nods as well.

"You are welcome," he says before swallowing hard.

There's amusement once again in his eyes, and Sakura know exactly why; his questions time to shine is now. Instead of tearing her gaze away, she keeps her eyes steady on him. It's a long silence that follows, not an awkward one but instead one they both know is to come frequent the more they talk.

There are boundaries they wish to cross like good friends can. Yet, unfamiliarity has come back since Sakura's departure. There is a rush within their hearts to understand the person they look at now, but they still tread lightly so as not to chase the other away. There is a need to be good friends once more. "Best friends!" They once call one another, yet they are strangers now.

For one, the composure is much easier to keep. She is aware this process to take time. For the other, his next question just shows how desperate he is for her like his child self was.

"Do you still love me, Sakura?"

Her eyes widen, surprised. She had granted him a complicated question, but had thought it to concern where she had been these past years, or what information he could garner knowing she had ties now with Kakashi. What surprises her most, is the almost sad look he gives her as she holds back her tongue.

'I love what you once were. This you, now, I do not know,' she thinks.

Yet, her heart disagrees. It reminds her that Gaara's eyes are still the same as they were when he was child. Only an appearance of him has changed over the years, it isn't fair for her to retract her love now. Her thoughts put her in a light daze, but she quickly comes out of it once Gaara brushes the back of his hand against her cheek, placing a lose strand behind her ear. His gaze on her still never breaks, and he looks down on her longingly. The last time he placed a finger on her, after asking her this question, his hand was not so kind.

"Even if I hate you for everything you put me through, I still love you for all that you gave me."

She gasps lightly and her eyes widen while staring up at Gaara. He just looks down at her; face still focused entirely at her expression.

"What?" he whispers with a small drawl.

It is then his finger gently slide down and cradle her chin. It's as if he is examining her for the first time.

"Is what I say really that surprising?" he asks.

Sakura isn't sure how to answer his question, and in a way, his quickness to confess such a feeling versus her struggle makes her doubt both her conflicting feelings more. A little boy who loves his friend after all these years; if Sakura just thinks of the situation like that, then she can justify Gaara's claim now.

She takes a breath once Gaara's hand begins to slip away.

"No doubt, there is a close bond I feel with you," Sakura begins.

It must be all Gaara needs to hear, for he actually smiles lightly, and begins to move around the room in a rush as Sakura continues to speak while her eyes follow him.

"I do not know if I would call it love, but it may be," she says while watching him pace around the room.

"Great," he whispers under his breath.

The redhead seems to mumble more and more as his steps go back and forth.

"This is great," he continues. "Sakura is here now. I'm so close...I could end this at any moment I wish."

His emphasizes on that last word while clenching his fists and bringing them up against his chest. It's a grin he shows off to no one as his mumbles continues in his mind.

"What?" Sakura asks, trying for his attention. "What is so great?"

His look to her first is one that is almost confused, as if she should know why this situation is a good one.

"Every little piece is coming to place," is all he says with a grin still.

Sakura can only grimace, she still has no clue to what he speaks of.

"I will make you proud, Sakura," Gaara says, now rushing towards Sakura's side.

She almost jumps to the unsightly display as Gaara kneels to the floor and rests his head against her leg.

"Gaara!" she even cries about to point out his closeness.

Yet, she goes unheard. He is like loyal pup, showing affection towards the body that feeds it, and he continues to grin and laugh lightly as he rolls his head, and red locks, against Sakura's lap.

"I always imagined that wherever you were, even if you were long dead, that you would be proud to see me bring the world together like I envision."

Sakura's eyes widen for a moment, and the hand that was going to gently push him off is now frozen. Her ears even tingle to hearing Gaara finally spill what it is he is planning in this war.

"Now, I don't have to imagine," he says with grin Sakura can feel pull up his cheeks against her lap. "You'll be there to see. You'll be there to congratulate me. You'll be there to praise me like old times. You'll be there...right by my side."

His final words seem to come out slower than the others, as if a realization dawns upon him. She can even feel his grin fall, but he keeps his head in place, resting on her lap while his eyes are distant. For the moment, there is silence from Gaara; the reason behind it is a mystery. For Sakura, she can only keep her peace for so long before opening up.

"What is it exactly you're planning, Gaara?"

Sakura swallows hard as Gaara continues to stare at her, lost in his own world. Eventually, his lips purse back tight before he whispers to her.

"A utopia."

Sakura's heart drops then. It is a vision she has heard attempted by another mad man. Kankuro had warned her this was Gaara's endgame, and even clues of the redhead's words had led her towards this path Gaara now claims he is taking. There is nothing wrong wanting peace and harmony in the world. There is nothing wrong wanting your fellow man to look at you in equal light. There is nothing wrong voicing your opinion for others to hear.

There is something dreadfully wrong forcibly taking what you believe is yours. It is a frightening thought that you will be cut down if you do not agree to a man's view of how the world should be. The idea that a man, with dark voices in his mind, has a vision for a better world, would make anyone fight back.

'This is wrong!' Sakura thinks as her eyes widen in front of her.

Her friends flash across her mind. Everyone she knows in Konoha are simply struggling now while this man in her lap laughs at their future demise, and there is a heavy guilt in her heart that this path is possibly the worst outcome Sakura could have sent him on. Her mind scrambles then; trying to find a deeper meaning behind all this.

'He was a spoiled, angry child,' she recalls. 'He just wanted recognition, he just wanted someone to look at him with admiration than disdain. Is this his way of thinking he can achieve this? Does he find this all his purpose in life?!'

Minutes have passed, both quiet in their thoughts, but it is a light humming that draws Sakura back to reality. Her body grows stiff as she listens to Gaara hum lightly, it is a tune that is familiar one.

'Mother's song,' she thinks.

The irony of those lyrics Gaara's mother had written suddenly strike her. If Karura could see her children now, especially Gaara, would his dream, this whole outcome, be something she would be proud of? What had turned Gaara in this direction? What other influences led him to this war? Did he meet someone else while she was gone, did someone else channel this idea into him? How did a child decide he was going to take over the world, especially one with so much kindness in him?

Sakura's eyes shakes as these question pour into her mind. It isn't until she takes a moment to breath, listening to Gaara's humming still, does she realize the man in her lap is brushing his fingers again against the bare skin of her thigh. His unsettling tranquility contradicts Sakura's rattling chaotic mind. Yet, that small touch of his, that gentle rubbing-she is well aware that he touches no bruise on her right now.

He is a man who claims awful things, yet shows her some kindness still. Kankuro claimed Gaara grows close to no one, yet for a man to boldly touch her and lay on her speaks to her in her mind. His closeness is suddenly too much

'Something is not right in his mind,' Sakura thinks.

She is certain disarray will come next, but she can no longer harbor the feelings Gaara has brought out. Gently, she stands herself, not even looking down at Gaara as his head slides away from her and he looks up at her in question. She breaks away from his body, and touch, and twists her mouth while trying to stifle her many emotions.

"Despite the bond we share, I can't follow you like you wish," Sakura whispers. "I do not agree at all with what you're doing. I will not stand by your side."

Despite her determined speech, she can't bring herself to look down at the man at her feet and her knuckles turn pale as she digs her nails within her palms. Silence follows, and if she to simply glance, she would see Gaara's wide eyes stare up at her in shock. She is upset for letting her emotions bring her to this point, but feels she will garner no more answers from him tonight if she were to ask. She is almost certain at what will come next, but that alone doesn't stop her from continuing.

"I will stop you. I will stop this senseless fighting. Unless you can prove to me otherwise that your cause is a greater purpose than simply taking lives, I will be a means of stopping you, Gaara."

She barely finishes speaking his name before she feels the man lift up to his feet and suddenly sweep around her frame like wind. In the blink of an eye, he is behind her and he snakes his cold fingers and sharp nails against her neck. He taps at her skin ever so lightly, but his touch now feels like a burn as he strums his nails. His breath, opposite of his touch, is cold like ice, but it still stings as he brings his lips against her ear.

"You amuse me profoundly more now than when I was younger, Sakura," he whispers with fingers tightening around her neck.

There is another element to Gaara's fighting. One that is able to catch his opponent much more by surprise than his sand. His older self, in her world, had done well to hide or forsake it. As a child, Sakura had tried her best to swat away that growing aspect within Gaara. His words now, even his touch, tells Sakura that he has embraced this means of attack to come on top as the winner.

Darkness is an element he very much brings with him into every battle, and he uses it now against Sakura.

'This is the evil in Gaara people have been claiming him to have,' Sakura thinks with narrowing eyes.

His means now may even stem from the Ichibi, Sakura thinks. It's a sad thought, but one that Sakura may have to come to terms with. After all, how can you ignore a constant, corrupt voice that eggs and mocks you in your mind for years, and years, and years.

Despite his words and hold on her, Sakura keeps her place and simply narrows her eyes. A reaction that Gaara is surprised by, but also amused with. She knows it, he knows her to know it, but it is clear he is excited now by her motives, and possibly her next actions. It also like a game they both play now. The encounter is brief, and there is much to learn of the other person. What angers them now, what frightens them now, what makes them happy now? Through Sakura's declaration, it becomes clear to both of them that their end game differs in mind. For Sakura, the idea is more troubling than it is for Gaara. For the redheaded man, Sakura simply becomes his biggest opponent yet, and that idea makes his blood electric.

They both wish to sway the others mind and heart. To accept the others vision is what they will struggle to play with now. For Gaara, the premise of it all is exhilarating, and he thinks him to have the upper hand in convincing Sakura to see his way. For Sakura, the ground she needs to break now, the reasoning she needs to pour into Gaara's mind now will be a complex struggle. She doesn't nearly have the time Gaara obviously has, and her power is withered compared to his. Despite that, she refuses to throw in the towel.

'I changed him once,' she thinks. 'I'll do it again.'

Within the silent room, as they consume themselves with these thoughts, there is also an understanding between them that they each know what the other is thinking. They've each made their first move, what will their next be, they both wonder.

Sakura cranes her neck slightly and Gaara keeps his fingers firm still against her. The rosette stares out towards the window and narrows her eyes while listening to the thunder and rain, along with Gaara's breathing in her ear.

'If I can,' she thinks. 'I need to let someone know where I am. I need to tell someone Gaara is here. Even if I have to get off this island completely.'

After all, Gaara would probably be easier to sway in chains, and his threats stopped now as time continues to tick.

Despite all that has transpired, her words from before still hold truth. She is certain for Gaara it is the same. The words they spoke to one another held nothing false within them. There is still the bond Sakura spoke of between them, a strong one that helps make her decision in saving this man rather than destroying him. Gaara, too, means what he says when he vouches his love for Sakura, for despite his threatening hold on her, his touch is somewhat gentle, and it is decided that Sakura lives.

And they both know that the other knows this.

Gaara's eyes follow Sakura's line of vision towards the window, and he grins a little before tightening his fingers around Sakura's neck.

"I lost you once, Sakura. Ready yourself, for I will never let you go again. Never."

It's like he knows her thoughts then, knows that she has a mindset of getting out of here and she is sure that is why he tells her this now. To his words, Sakura sighs, but takes a bold step forward. It comes to no surprise for her that Gaara's hold is an easy one to break, and she takes a few steps more away from his body before turning to face him.

She is tired, she is torn and bruised. She is thrown into a world not her own with time that threatens to not only take her, but the peace within this world. She is alone, and now in a home with a constant threat looming over her that takes the form of friends.

But she is also Sakura, and she knows now that not stopping this man in front of her is not option. Her means of doing so go against what everyone else wishes, but she wants to also save Gaara.

"Of course," she tells him.

There is a flash of surprise across his features. Clearly her agreement wasn't the reaction he thought he would receive. Yet, underneath that shock is excitement, and as long as Sakura continues to astonish and confuse him, she is sure that elation she has sparked will only grow and grow in time and possibly keep her alive in his darkest of moments.

"After all," she continues. "You've held on to your love for me all these years, how could you possibly decide to let it go now?"