Chapter 2
What a Juicy Coincidence!
"Here it is, at long last!" Alastor called as he waltzed out of the kitchen, his inner radio sounding off with applause. He held two plates while his shadow carried four. The sound changed to smooth Jazz as the Jambalaya was passed around. He took it upon himself to serve Charlie, whom he would soon help run this pipe-dream of a business. The shadow served the others.
Because there were still no large tables in the main lobby, they sat wherever there was room. Charlie and Vaggie took the couch, sharing a small table, while Angel and Niffty sat at the bar that also acted as their front desk, behind which sat Husk. Much to Vaggie's dismay, the Radio Demon was undaunted by the lack of chair near the pair as he merely summoned his own, setting it down across from the couch. "Here you go, my dear." He placed Charlie's plate on the table before his own, while his shadow put down a plate for the moth demon.
"Wow, this smells so good!" Charlie praised.
"It… really does," Vaggie agreed flatly, honestly surprised.
"Then dig in, everyone!" Alastor commanded light-heartedly before taking his seat. "Eat your fill, and then we'll start discussing where to go from here. This hotel won't run itself!"
"Damn, Smiles," Angel said happily. "Didn't know you had it in ya."
"You should see him on special days!" Niffty squeaked. "He will cook everything in the kitchen if you let him."
"I do love kitchen clear-out meals," he agreed with a nod. "All the food is gone in a single, exquisite party! Makes for a great excuse to go out… shopping." Vaggie caught the pause in his words and glared at him.
Angel swallowed a shrimp whole in a very suggestive fashion, wiggling his eyebrows at Husk who bristled in response. "Speakin' o' shoppin'," he began after clearing his throat. "Where'd you get all this anyway? I just got done tellin' Bubbles over here we need to actually get some food up in here."
"Brought it from home," he answered, as if it were obvious. "Don't worry, there are no… unsavory meats." He smiled wickedly at Angel, who returned his stare unimpressed.
"If ya say so," was all he said as he stuffed his face with a spicy sausage. Vaggie ate slowly, poking the food as if testing if it was going to eat her. Husk just sat and ate, avoiding the pink and white spider's gaze as much as he possibly could.
There was a sound outside, one that most didn't hear, but Husk's ears perked up. "Someone just fuckin' dropped."
"Dropped?" Charlie asked, looking at the cat demon with a confused expression.
"Another pitiful sinner to join the rank and file of Hell," Alastor exclaimed. "And to be placed right outside our humble abode!"
"Do you think they might be interested in-" Charlie began, before Vaggie placed a finger on her girlfriend's lips.
"Let's see what kind of person we're dealing with first, hon," she interrupted. "Besides, we don't want to scare them off if they do want to join."
"The state of this establishment would probably do so long before our lovely princess' enthusiasm ever graces them," Alastor said, shaking his head. "Still, I will go and greet this sinner while you enjoy your meal!"
"Wait!" Vaggie called, chasing after him. She didn't need him scaring off a new prospect already. Unfortunately his long legs carried him to the door faster than she could catch him. He opened it and stepped outside, Vaggie following behind. A woman about Charlie's height stood there, looking up at the name of the hotel. She wore black slacks and a blue button-up blouse, and over her heart was a large, blood-red rose. Her skin was pale, and her hair was a dark shade of brown. If it weren't for her eyes, which were black slitted pupils with no iris to be seen, she would have looked almost normal. While not unheard of, retaining a mostly human appearance was unusual. Vaggie frowned slightly. Who was this woman, and why was she dropped at their doorstep?
"Hazbin Hotel," Eliza said aloud before looking down at the pair and smiling slightly. "Oh, hello! I hope I'm not interrupting anything? My name is Elizabeth." She bowed slightly to them in greeting.
"Not at all!" Alastor greeted. She was slightly surprised by his voice, which sounded similar to an old-fashioned radio broadcaster. "Alastor! Pleasure to meet you, my dear." He strolled up to her and offered his hand. She took it, and he placed a kiss on her knuckles. Vaggie gagged in the background at what she could only assume was a false act of chivalry (this was the ruthless Radio Demon, after all), but Eliza was completely unfazed. Although his appearance was certainly… unusual. She noticed two tiny antlers sticking out of his head, and his hair, though a bob-cut, looked as though he had two animal ears, similar to a deer. His red eyes and sharp yellow teeth were the only other unusual things about him, however, other than his unusually thin form. "May I ask how you got here?"
Eliza thought for a moment before shrugging. "I died." Alastor gave a loud, single laugh at the straight-forward answer, and she heard stock laughter emanate from him.
"I see. Well, come on in, my dear! Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!"
Vaggie looked horrified. "The WHAT?!" She ran to the front and looked at the sign on top of the building. Sure enough, "Happy" had been replaced with "Hazbin." "How-? When did-?!" She glared accusingly at Alastor. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"
"Don't you like it, my dear?"
"NO! And neither will Charlie!" She stormed inside to tell her princess the news.
Eliza chuckled. "I fear I may have caused you some trouble." Alastor appraised the woman for a moment, narrowing his eyes slightly. She didn't speak like someone from recent times, which made him suspicious. But he would have plenty of time to verify that she is, indeed, newly arrived.
"She would have found out eventually," he waved his hand as if to dismiss the problem entirely. "Come on in! I'd tell you what we're all about, but I fear I'd steal the thunder from my excitable co-manager. Perish the thought!" He put the back of his hand up to his forehead dramatically before motioning for her to follow. Eliza did so, but kept an eye on him. Anyone as boisterous as him in Hell probably had no reason to be afraid, which meant he could be a threat. Still, the chivalry was a pleasant surprise, even though she made sure not to show it.
When she walked inside, however, she couldn't help but stop and stare. The girl with the pale, almost purple skin and flared-out white hair was talking with a young lady with white skin, red cheeks and long, blonde hair. On the other side of the lobby sat three characters that simply defied expectation. One was a tall, lanky individual with white and pink fur and 4 arms. Another was a very short cyclops, a girl judging from her outfit, with hair as red as the man who greeted her, though with a yellow stripe instead of black ends. Finally there was a brown and white cat, though that was a gross oversimplification of his colors. Large red eyebrows that extended past his face, and beautiful red wings decorated in the 4 suits in a deck of cards. She presumed he had a tail, though it was hidden behind the desk he manned. His rough appearance and sparse clothing indicated that he was a man. The lanky white one, however, she wasn't sure about. It had a larger chest, but something didn't seem quite right.
"Wonderful to meet you all," she said cheerily, recovering her composure.
"You might not think so once blondie gets ahold of ya," the lanky one called with a sarcastic tone. Male. He was definitely male. And his manner of speech gave away his clear sexual preference, and if he was the feminine partner, that would explain why she had a hard time identifying him.
"Nonsense!" Alastor rebuked. "Our charming princess would, however, most certainly wish to speak with you." He gestured to the female pair, who seemed to be having a strange conversation that was half argument, half excitement.
Eliza walked over to them while Alastor stood in place, watching her closely. She was very polite, a quality he appreciated, though knowing nothing else about her made him terribly suspicious. This was Hell, and one does not end up here by accident. His smile widened. Let the entertainment begin!
"Hello," Eliza greeted with a bow, though this time lower than the one she offered Alastor and Vaggie outside. "My name is Elizabeth." If four years of her childhood in Japan taught her anything, it's how to give a respectful greeting to those of rank. Adjusting the depth of one's bow when greeting someone is a bit of culture that she simply adored. It made moving back to the United States almost traumatic to someone with high expectations of respectful treatment.
"Welcome to the Happy Hotel!" Charlie said, bouncing on the balls of her feet. Co-manager. Alastor had called her his co-manager.
"Not. Anymore." Vaggie was fuming, glaring daggers at Alastor, who returned her stare with a taunting demeanor.
"Yeah," Charlie said awkwardly. "We'll have to talk about that." She shot an unsure glance towards Alastor, which he returned with an innocent head-tilt. She didn't buy it for a second, but returned her attention to Eliza. "Anyway, I'm Charlie!" She reached out her hand and Eliza took it, enduring a very energetic shake with a patient smile. Charlie reminded Eliza of a child, but she dressed as an adult. It made her realize that recognizing age would probably be impossible in Hell, especially since the idea is an eternity of damnation. "This is Vaggie!"
"Hi," the other girl greeted, also shaking her hand. Her grip wasn't as tight, but it was a single shake, and very unsure. She was not the trusting type, that much was obvious. She had only her right eye, which had a pink sclera and a yellow iris. The left eye was a glowing pink X, which Eliza found curious. She was also very thin, and dressed in a pastel gothic style. The shape of her legs, large eye and fanned out hair made her think of a moth. Vaggie's anger towards Alastor suggested that, perhaps, he was recently appointed co-manager of this hotel, if he was ever officially appointed at all.
"Nice to meet you," she said simply. "So… which is the actual name of the hotel?" This caused both girls to shoot looks over at the tall, red demon. She also looked in his direction, as if waiting for an answer.
"A matter of debate!" was the answer he settled on. "I personally think that 'Happy Hotel' is a name that will be overwhelming to future guests, and we don't need them running away before a chance at treatment!"
"Treatment?" Eliza cocked her head to the side before looking back at the two young women.
"This is a hotel for rehabilitation!" Charlie said excitedly. Vaggie cleared her throat, and Charlie took the cue to calm down. "We want to rehabilitate sinners so that they can be sent to Heaven!"
"That's possible?" Eliza's blunt question caused Charlie to pause, but Alastor's laughter caught their attention.
"Our dear Charlie has yet to prove its effectiveness," he stated openly. "Personally, I don't believe it possible, but strive on we shall for the betterment of sinners!" Eliza realized very quickly that he wasn't there to support the cause. Vaggie's mistrust towards him and Charlie's uncertainty made it clear that he didn't really fit into their original plan. He must be able to offer something for them to make him a co-manager despite this.
"What do you gain by being here?" she asked. Vaggie stared hard at Alastor, her bow forming into horn-like shapes above her head in warning. The deer demon ignored her, but had no intention of scaring their guest away. Where's the fun in chasing off the hopefuls before he could feed off their failure and ruin?
"Why, entertainment! I was so moved by Charlie's passionate interview on the news that I simply had to be a part of it!" She looked at the blonde demoness and saw her look down awkwardly. When Vaggie reached out to comfort her and shot yet another nasty look his way, she knew that meant whatever happened didn't end well. "She truly believes that these hopeless sinners can receive salvation, and who am I to deny the possibility?"
"You're here to see them fail." Eliza's calm smile didn't waver in the slightest as she called him out.
He faltered a bit, his mouth slightly open and his eyes wide. "Whatever gave you that idea? I could just be a charitable soul to the silly dreamers of the afterlife."
"If you were known for being so generous, you wouldn't be so mistrusted."
"We are in Hell, my dear! Who is truly trustworthy down here? Such presumption!" The sound of radio static radiated from him as he mocked being offended, his face smug and condescending.
"Charlie seems dangerously sincere, and Vaggie is overprotective of her and her dream. You're the only one in charge who doesn't fit. You don't believe in the cause, yet you assist for no greater reason than to enjoy it." She held up her hands, and using her fingers, mimed putting two puzzle pieces together. "Which means you gain something directly. Plus, you changed the name from 'Happy' to 'Hazbin.' The cynical intent, if nothing else, is clear as day. You are here only to watch the struggle."
Alastor fought back the urge to snarl, bouncing between irritated and amused. To be called out so openly…
"You're a sharp one." He decided instead to go the complimentary route, stock applause playing for her shrewd deduction, though its mocking intent was obvious. "May I ask: What is- or was- your profession?"
Her smile widened slightly. "I was a psychiatrist." Seeing as her license had been revoked right before her death, it felt dishonest to say she still was one. Charlie and Vaggie stared at her, jaws dropped.
"Truly?" Alastor was excited, now, his radio static briefly disappearing to reveal his normal voice. A psychiatrist down in Hell, dropping from the sky in front of a hotel for rehabilitation? He decided to quote Katie Killjoy from Charlie's trainwreck of an interview: "What a juicy coincidence!"
"So, you helped people?" Charlie asked, her excitement growing. "You listened to them and gave advice to make them better?"
"I helped them make the changes they needed to be confident in themselves," Eliza specified.
"Then what are you doing down here?" Vaggie asked, honestly confused and not sure she wanted to know.
Eliza thought hard. She knew exactly why she was down here, but she wasn't sure how to put it to words…
"Did you break your clients?" Alastor suggested. "Turn them into rabid monsters hell-bent on destruction just to feel some sense of belonging in the world? Send them down a rabbit-hole of self-destruction so deep that they had no hope of returning to a normal, happy existence?"
"No," she said slowly. "That's not it at all. Such behavior does not inspire confidence in the client, but subservience. Such results were never my goal."
"Then perhaps it was unrelated to your work?" He was dying to know. "Murder? Theft? Ruining the lives of your peers to gain access to more... interesting patients?" He wanted to know what kind of patient she would be. Maybe he could make a deal with her, or guide her towards a destructive path…
"Alastor," Charlie reprimanded. His head swiveled her direction, his excited and antagonizing smile never faltering. "I'm beginning to see that we won't be able to let you anywhere near any future guests." Alastor calmed down slightly.
"You're right, my excitement is getting the better of me!" He stepped away from the thinking woman, but returned his gaze to her. He wanted to hear her answer.
"I guess…" she started, "the best way I can put it would be…"
'Yes,' Alastor thought, enjoying the suspense.
"Moral indifference."
There was a moment of silence, followed by a sharp, sarcastic laugh from the bar. Alastor sent a side-long glare to the white and pink demon before staring at her once more. "Care to elaborate?" Alastor probed. Charlie and Vaggie shared uncertain glances before returning their attention to her.
"I would guide my patients towards becoming the people they wished to be," she explained. "I would advise them only to change if it was for their own benefit. If they cared too deeply about the opinions of others, or felt pressure from an outside source to betray what they wished to be, I advised against it."
"That doesn't sound so bad," Charlie said, hopefully.
"I see!" Alastor chimed in, realization setting his eyes aglow. "Outside pressure and opinion could certainly apply to peers encouraging drugs, sex and other disgusting sins. But…" he said, his tone darkening slightly. "It also includes pressure from close family, friends and wholesome institutions, does it not?"
"Exactly!" Eliza's happy response drove home how on the nose Alastor's summarization was. "Changing for the sake of others only leads to the pain and suffering of the soul. Besides, if the fear of rejection is the only driving force guiding an individual to the church and its doctrine, then how can they be truly loyal to it? No, a change must be made because it helps the person grow individually, not because of the oppressive force of outside influence!"
Vaggie felt red flags go up all over the place, but Charlie looked as if she was seriously thinking about it. Something about how she put it actually made some twisted sense.
"So, if a sinner decides to turn their life around just because they want to get into Heaven..." she said slowly, thinking carefully.
"Then why would God trust their intention to be genuine?" Eliza's excitability was starting to show. She took a calming breath before continuing; an action that did not go below Alastor's radar. "It is simply impossible to feel confident with a crisis of self. If someone truly wishes to become a better person, then I will guide them along the way as best as I can. But how can I, in good conscience, force a will to change on a person? No, they must want it to move forward. They must need it, not because there's a reward at the end of the road, but because it will enrich their lives even if the expected reward never comes. Would one expect God, a being believed capable of knowing your every true intention, to welcome an individual whose prayers and charity were driven by the selfish desire for a reward and not a true desire to help others? The church teaches that one must love and fear the Lord, but how genuine is that love if it's given in pursuit of paradise?"
"So…" The white and pink demon sauntered over and leaned in very close to her face. "Whaddya do?"
"I counselled inmates," she answered. "One felt pulled two different directions. One: he wanted to go home to his family. He shot his father, but claimed it was because of years of abuse and he reacted out of fear. Because of his good behavior, he was heading toward early release."
"So what pull yanked him down?"
"There were fellow inmates who were abusers, just like his father." The tall demon stared at her for a moment, then started to laugh.
"Lemme guess: he wanted to bump 'em off like he did his old man!" Eliza gave a single nod. "So, what? Ya told him to kill so he'd feel betta?"
"No. I asked him if he wanted freedom or revenge more. He wanted to return to his family, but couldn't stand the thought of those inmates going free to hunt down their previous victims and ruin their lives. He left without answering, but he clearly made his decision."
"And you were OK with that?" Vaggie asked, incredulously.
Eliza blinked at her and cocked her head to the side, as if the answer should have been obvious. "Yes."
Hey there everyone! Just a heads up for anyone who's wondering in future episodes: In the future I might say something like "The West side of the building" or "A door to the West of the Lobby." This means that, when you walk into the building from the front entrance, that is the equivalent of "North". So even if someone is coming from a room, meaning they're facing the other direction, West is still "Through the entrance and to the left". It's the best way I could do it and keep it simple, OK? I'm not sure what direction the hotel is facing in canon or if Hell even has a North and South. Just know that "North" in this instance is the direction you're facing when you walk in the front door. The layout of the entire hotel is not specified in the pilot or on the wiki, as all we've seen of the hotel is the outside and the lobby, so everything else is completely made up by yours truly. Thank you for your understanding!
