Chapter 3

Professional Help

Alastor grabbed Eliza by the waist. "Why don't you go over to the bar and introduce yourself to the rest of our lovely staff. I'm sure they'll be very happy to meet you!" He whisked her away to the front desk, motioning for the tall demon to follow. He looked put out because he didn't get to be grabbed and dragged around. "You've already spoken with Angel Dust."

"The one and only," he said, running one of his hands through his hair as he sat in front of the bar.

"This is Husk, my good friend and trusted colleague. The little darling sitting here is Niffty, a reliable little helper and our hard-working housekeeper. Please, take your time! Become acquainted! I'll return shortly." He turned sharply and strolled back to the princess and her pet moth.

"This is NOT a good candidate," Vaggie said immediately. "She doesn't even feel remorse for what happened!"

"But I can't help but feel like she's right," Charlie argued meekly. "If our guests are just here for redemption to get to Heaven, then…"

"Why don't we hire her?" Alastor interjected. Charlie and Vaggie looked speechless for a moment.

"WHAT?!" Vaggie erupted. "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"

"Why do you say that?" Charlie asked, putting a hand on Vaggie's shoulder to calm her down. "We don't even know if she'd be willing to help."

"She would be! Absolutely!" Alastor sounded downright jubilant about the idea, which just added to Vaggie's growing collection of red flags. "She said herself that she helped inmates, meaning she worked in a prison or other such asylum! Such experience could only benefit our hopeless guests."

"She turned a man into a murderer!" Vaggie was practically pulling out her hair. How could anyone, even Alastor, suggest something like this? 'Because he wants them to FAIL!' she screamed internally.

"She guided him to make a choice, she didn't tell him to kill anyone. Big difference." Alastor's switch from dangerous banter with the woman to defending her career was so sudden that Vaggie couldn't keep up.

"But she's OK with the decision he made!"

"Who are we to judge the decisions of others?"

"Oh, like I'm not supposed to judge YOU for what YOU'VE done?"

"Exactly!"

"Guys, calm down," Charlie interjected, placing herself between the arguing demons. "She said she wants to guide people to who they want to be. If a person wants to become good, she has the experience to guide them down a better path."

"But hon, she has no problems suggesting going the other way," Vaggie countered, calming her voice so as not to yell at her beloved. "What if she turns an average demon into someone like Al?"

"No one will ever be quite like me, my dear. Most lack the wit and will to ever reach my level."

"I mean a cannibalistic CREEP who broadcasts carnage and fear across-"

"Cannibal?" Charlie piped up in surprise. She looked at Al and raised an eyebrow.

"She is correct, my dear," he confessed, his smile never wavering. "Don't worry your little head, princess. I have no intention of eating our guests… Unless they step out of line-"

"No!" Charlie shrieked. "No eating! If a guest becomes too much trouble to handle, we can give them warnings, or kick them out if they don't stop. There will be no eating of ANYONE inside this hotel!"

"As you command, your majesty," he agreed, though his smile did shrink slightly. "I still suggest hiring the woman, however. Someone like her will be difficult to find in this wasteland of guilt and pain, I promise you that."

"What do you mean?"

"Someone who doesn't wield guilt like a knife!" he exclaimed. "Someone who doesn't purposefully guide everyone who comes to them to madness and decay. We're in Hell, my dear. Any who go into her profession and end up down here usually take perverse pleasure in corrupting the innocent and exploiting the weak-minded."

"Like you," Vaggie spat.

Alastor looked at her for a moment, tilting his head before narrowing his eyes, his face dripping with malice. "Yes." The sudden drop in radio static sent cold shivers up her spine. The nerve of this bastard.


"So, you gonna turn us all into bloodthirsty savages?" Angel asked, half-joking. "Because I gotta thirst, but it ain't for blood." He winked at Husk, who flipped him off before returning to his drink.

"Only if that's what you want to be," she answered, her face the picture of seriousness. "But you are nowhere near that desire, so if you're hoping to bust me trying to break you into a drooling monster, you'll be sadly disappointed."

"Aw, shucks, busted before I got ta try." He snapped his finger in mock disappointment. Eliza giggled. His defense mechanism of choice was one of her favorites to work with. Sarcasm and wit always hide a softness inside that's been beaten deep down. Well, almost always. She wasn't sure about Alastor. He didn't seem to have a warm fuzzy side, but some people were also just hard to read.

She turned to Husker. "Military, yes?"

He stopped chugging his cheap booze and glared at her. "However the fuck you know that, stop. No gettin' into my head or nothin'."

"It's obvious," she responded. "I meant no offense. My mom was military, and she retired after 21 years. I'm just used to being around them, that's all."

Husk felt a slight twinge of guilt, but like hell he was going to show it. "Whatever." He went back to his bottle.

"Guess about me, toots," Angel challenged, flexing his body out as if to say 'You ain't gonna guess'.

"The homosexuality is too obvious to count," she mumbled, causing Niffty to look confused.

"You like women?" she asked, looking a little worried.

"I'm a guy, short stuff," he finally told her.

"Really?"

"Yea, whaddya think I seriously was a lady? How many ladies you know have a voice this smooth?"

"I know ladies with way better voices than yours," she stated matter-of-factly. Her friend Mimzy came to mind.

"Shuddup," he snapped. "None of them have a flawless body like this, I promise ya that."

"Mafia."

They all turned to look at Eliza. Angel's eyes were wide with surprise.

"The accent, acting tough, defensive… I guess mafia ties, though I doubt you're particularly active in one. Makes sex jokes, arrogant about your body, relentless flirting even though it's unwanted… Prostitution. Or porn. Both, maybe. Prostitution can suggest mafia lifestyle because of human trafficking-"

"Ya know, toots, you're awfully blunt for a shrink," Angel said.

"Are we in therapy right now?"

"Um… no?"

"Then tact is not required. I'm not currently actively trying to help you achieve any particular goal, I'm accepting you goading me into making guesses as to your past or even current lifestyle."

"At least I ain't gotta guess what you're thinkin'" he chuckled. "You'll say it straight. Though I gotta say that, when you ain't talkin' shop, you're almost too polite."

"My personal preference," she smiled. "I could be crass, but I don't like to be."

"And whadda 'bout me?" he asked. "Gotta problem with me swearin' an' shit?"

"Not at all," she answered sincerely. "I have no problem with others swearing like sailors. I simply choose not to." She looked ahead, and noticed that Charlie looked like she was playing referee.

"Before ya ask, no, we shouldn't get involved with that," Angel droned. "Trust me, this place is a mess, and that was BEFORE Smiles showed up." At the mention of a mess, Niffty suddenly decided to jump up and whip out her duster. Break time was apparently over for her. Eliza watched her for a bit, her OCD out there for everyone to see, then looked back at 'managers' of the hotel. She watched them and could not believe just how different all three of them were. Charlie was almost too optimistic for her own good, Vaggie was about ready to stab something, and Alastor was loudly goading them both. She watched as his expressions shifted, but the smile never disappeared. Angel could not have picked a more fitting nickname, it seemed.

Husk had listened to a bit of the conversation to see if he needed to duck in cover, so he knew the basics of the argument between the three demons across the lobby. He wasn't going to share though. No need to piss off that tall red bastard. The moth girl was already doing a bang-up job of that. No fanning the flames for this drunk. Fuck that.

"Does he ever not smile?" Eliza asked, genuinely curious. Even when pulling his lip up in a snarl he seemed to be smiling.

"Nope," Husk answered. "It's a power thing. First to frown is the weak one."

She hadn't realized just HOW right she was in guessing his boisterous nature was a sign of power. For him, smiling, laughing and invading others' space is like marking his turf.

"Betcha he'd be inta power-play," Angel said playfully, fluffing up his chest. "That big-dick bravado can't be just for show."

"He's frigid," Husk answered before going back to his drink.

"Ya serious?!" Angel moped. "Aw, dammit! I was hopin' I could win him over if I tried."

"Aesexual, interesting." She was a tad surprised. She would have guessed power-play too if Husk hadn't dropped that knowledge bomb on her. "Aromantic, too?"

"Aro-wha?"

"Aromantic. No romantic interest."

"Ah. No clue, toots." He turned to Husk. "Any clue, kitten?"

"Never. Call me that. Again," Husk warned. He was starting to get tipsy, his eyes going in and out of focus.

"Sure you're not drunk enough?" Eliza teased.

"I'm still standing, so… No."

"I can carry you to my room," Angel offered, his tone sickeningly sweet.

"Touch me and I fuckin' kill you." Husk pointed a finger, but it wasn't quite directionally accurate, and he stumbled slightly.

"If you do need help, let me know," Eliza offered. She figured he wouldn't take it, but she wanted to leave the offer out just in case. He just grunted.

When Eliza turned away from the bar once again, she was inches away from a shadowy face. Inwardly she recoiled, but she didn't move a muscle. Angel, on the other hand…

"What the FUCK?!" he jumped back away from the bizarre staredown happening before him.

"Can I help you?" Eliza's tone was flat and annoyed. The shadow's smile broadened before disappearing entirely. Alastor was staring at her, as were the two women that were previously arguing with him.

"See? Didn't even flinch!" Applause sounded loudly around him. "She's perfect for the position of talking down the stumbling fools we'll be working with!"

"Excuse me?" Eliza asked, still annoyed at the jump-scare he just pulled on her.

"I'm saying we would like to use your experience and expertise!" He replied excitedly. "We'd like you to aid us on helping the rejected scum of the Earth claw their way up the steep cliffs of self-improvement in their pointless endeavor to enter nirvana!"

"We'd like you to work as a counsellor here," Vaggie droned, clearly not entirely on board with this decision. "You can work for room and board at first, then if we have the funds, we can talk about payment."

Eliza was honestly surprised. From their reaction to her admission, she wasn't sure what to expect. This, however, certainly wasn't it.

"Give me a moment." Eliza turned to Husk, who was falling off the desk entirely in a drunken stupor. She sighed, turning to Vaggie. "May I go behind the desk? I think Husk is-" A thump behind her preempted her statement. "Gone. He's gone."

"Why?" Vaggie asked, suspicion written all over her face. "What are you looking for?"

"Pen and paper. With your feelings of distrust towards me, I think a fair contract is in order. All three of you are free to read it, however…" She looked directly at Alastor. "They will be the ones to sign it. Not you."

Alastor looked genuinely offended by this statement. Before he could utter a word against it, she raised her hand.

"Once you read it, you'll understand why."