Author's Note: Hey, I just want to thank everyone who's been taking the time to read this. What did y'all think about last night's episode 9x3? I thought it was pretty good overall, but the promo for 9x4... just wow! Sure looks like things are about to get interesting... just hope Hailey and Jay can make it through all this!
Anyhow, here's the next chapter! This one is a bit angsty. I hope y'all enjoy!
Hailey knew that she had to pull herself together, because what happened at work that day... simply could not happen again. She couldn't let it happen again. Her mind drifted to Jay, to the scared look on his face while she was coming back from her panic attack. Hailey knew, without a doubt, that Jay wasn't just going to let it go... even though he didn't push her that afternoon. She knew Jay, she knew that he always knew when something was wrong.
Just then, Hailey heard a loud knock on the door... she didn't even have to look, for she already knew who it was...
Hailey snapped back to reality after a few beats, realizing that she had zoned out for a moment. The knocking from the door got louder and louder. Hailey inhaled sharply, she wasn't ready for this... wasn't ready to face Jay. However, she knew that he wasn't going to just go away... if the roles were reversed, she wouldn't either. They cared about each other too much for that.
Slowly, Hailey pulled herself up from the bed and made her way to the door.
"Hailey! It's Jay, open up!" Jay's voice boomed through the door. He sounded upset, almost frantic. "Hailey... come on, I know you're in there!"
Hailey pulled the door open quickly, before defeatedly turning away and walking back into the apartment. She slumped down on the couch. Jay followed, sporting the same concerned look he'd had on his face earlier that day. In his hand, he held a box of Deep Dish. Jay sat down beside Hailey, who was still looking away.
"I uh, I brought some Deep Dish. I thought after the day you've had, you might be hungry..." Jay said, trying to make conversation. Still, Hailey looked away. This was not like his partner, not at all. Something was very wrong, he just didn't know what.
"Hailey..." Jay said, softly. When he didn't get a response, he reached over and placed his hand on her shoulder.
Again, Hailey flinched and pulled away immediately. "Don't..." she said, weakly.
Jay sighed. "Look Hailey, whatever is going on... whatever's got you spinning out, I want you to know I'm here for you. So... talk to me, so I can help you..."
Hailey shook her head, still looking away.
"Hailey please..." Jay pleaded.
A few beats passed silently with Hailey still refusing to look at Jay. Finally, Jay got up from the couch. Slowly stepping in front of Hailey, he knelt down on the floor. Placing one hand on her knee, taking her hand with the other. Hailey trembled at his touch, but this time she didn't pull away.
"Hailey..." Jay whispered, gently rubbing circles on the top of her hand with his thumb. "Look at me, please?"
Hailey knew she shouldn't follow Jay's request, she knew if she did and saw the look in his eyes, she might just lose it, right there. All of the emotions she had been fighting so hard to hold back, were right there on brim, ready to spill over. However, something about Jay's voice, pleading with her... it was as though it held some sort of power over her. After a moment, Hailey slowly looked at Jay and their eyes met. Her eyes were Red and puffy, clearly she had been crying. Fresh tears twinkled in her eyes and Jay could tell she was fighting hard to keep them at bay. It killed Jay, seeing his partner like this. Even more so because he had no idea why, no idea what was going on, what chain of events had triggered this.
Without evening thinking about it, Jay lifted his hand off of Hailey's knee, raising it to her face... gently running it down her cheek. His intention was to comfort her somehow, to let her know that he was there and that she wasn't alone. However, it had the opposite effect...
"Don't worry sweetheart, do exactly as I say and I'll play nice." James said, running his hand across Hailey's cheek, wiping away a few tears. Hailey's whole body trembled at his touch, she felt as though she was going to throw up.
Hailey pulled back immediately, ripping her hand from Jay's grasp, pushing her body as far back into the couch cushion as she possibly could, her eyes wide. She was staring straight ahead. "Please don't do this..." she whispered.
Jay realized quickly what was happening... Hailey was having another panic attack. "Hey Hailey... it's okay, it's just me. It's Jay..." he pleaded with her, hoping that his words would ground her and bring her back to the present.
"A Cop, reduced to begging?" James said, with a sick laugh. "Damn, that really must make you feel tough, huh?"
Hailey started sobbing uncontrollably, her entire body trembled. Her breathing was becoming more fast and labored.
James climbed into the bed on top of Hailey, he knelt down started kissing her. Hailey tried to pull away, but she was unable. James kissed her lips, his tough assaulting her mouth. Then, he moved to her neck. His hands traveling under her shirt. Suddenly, he ripped it open.
"Please don't..." Hailey cried. "Don't... not again..."
"Hailey, listen to me... listen to my voice. It's Jay, I'm right here. No one is going to hurt you." Jay pleaded. His heart was breaking, seeing her like this, he felt so helpless.
"That's it, beg for me sweetheart. I know you want this." James said, as he roughly tore her bra from her body. Immediately, his mouth was on her breasts, sucking roughly. His hands her in her pants, his fingers on the outside of her underwear, toying with her.
Suddenly, without warning... Hailey jumped up, pushing Jay to the floor as she did so. She retreated to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
Jay was dazed for a moment, but quickly pulled himself up and followed Hailey to the bathroom. The door was locked. He could hear the shower turn on.
"Hailey!" Jay called. "Hailey, open the door!" There was no response, all Jay heard was the sound of the shower running.
"Hailey!" Jay called again, louder this time. "Come on, Hailey... open the door! I just need to know that you're okay! Hailey!"
After a few moments, Jay was becoming more and more concerned. He needed to make sure that his partner was alright. Deciding just to act, Jay kicked the door open.
When Jay stepped inside the bathroom, the room was filled with steam from the hot water that was pouring down from the shower. His gaze quickly found Hailey. She was sitting in the bathtub, shower curtain open, shower running, fully dressed with her knees pulled to her chest, her arms hugging them tightly to her body. Her eyes were fixed straight ahead, even through the hot water from the shower streaming down... Jay could see that she was crying.
Jay reached in quickly to turn the water off, wincing as the extremely hot water made contact with his skin.
"Hailey..." Jay whispered, once the water was off.
Hailey shook her head, looking down, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Leave me alone, Jay." she cried.
"Not until you talk to me, tell me what the hell is going on." Jay said, his voice sounding a little more harsh than he had intended.
"I... I just want to be alone. Please?" Hailey pleaded, her voice sounded so small, so scared.
"Hailey... I'm your partner." Jay said. "I'm your friend. I... I just want to help, but I can't if you don't talk to me."
Hailey just shook her head again, a sob escaped her body.
"Hailey please..." Jay pleaded. "Talk to me, let me in..."
"I can't..." Hailey cried. "I... I messed up... I can't."
"Hey, look... no matter what it is, no matter what happened, you can always talk to me." Jay said. "I meant it when I said we're good and we're always going to be good. I'm here for you, Hailey."
"I messed up... There... there's nothing you can do, I messed up." Hailey cried. Her body began to shiver.
Jay looked around the bathroom, quickly finding a dry towel. "Come on, let's get you out of there..." he said, softly, extending a hand to help Hailey up. He was somewhat surprised when she accepted his help.
Jay gently pulled Hailey up, she hadn't realized how dizzy she still was until her legs almost gave out on her. Noticing this, Jay helped Hailey out of the tub, wrapping the towel around her soaking frame. He pulled her into a sideways hug, helping to steady her as they walked down the hallway towards Hailey's bedroom. Jay guided Hailey to the bed, helping her sit down.
"Let's get you into some dry clothes." Jay said, looking around until his eyes settled on the dresser. Jay reached in and pulled out a Hoody and some Sweat Pants, handing them to Hailey. "Do you, uh, do you need any help?" he asked.
Hailey just shook her head in response.
"Okay... I'll be right outside." Jay said, walking to the door and closing it behind him.
Once Jay had left the room, Hailey carefully slipped out of her wet clothes, wincing as they pulled at her wounds. Knowing Jay wouldn't wait outside the room for long, Hailey quickly slipped the dry clothes on before sitting back down on the bed. She was still very dizzy and didn't trust her legs not to give out at that moment.
"You good?" Jay called from outside the bedroom door.
"Yeah..." Hailey replied, softly.
Jay wasted no time getting back into the bedroom. He walked over and slowly sat down on the bed beside Hailey. He looked at her with concern still written all over his face, her eyes were still puffy. As Jay took in the sight of his partner now, he realized how pale and fragile she looked. Jay had never seen Hailey like this. Not even during the case she worked under cover with Ron Booth.
"Hailey... what's going on?" Jay asked.
"I haven't been sleeping lately, that's all... I'm fine, Jay, really." Hailey said, trying to sound as convincing as possible.
However, Jay could see right through it. "Look, whatever just happened... what happened earlier today during the bust, that's not fine. You're not fine." he said, reaching for her hand again.
Hailey closed her eyes, already feeling her resolve starting to crumble.
"Come on, talk to me..." Jay said, still holding Hailey's hand, gently running his thumb back and fourth on her palm. That's when his thumb brushed across her wrist, which had been covered with her long sleeve shirt. Hailey flinched, a surge of pain shot up her arm. She was hoping that he didn't notice, but realized right away that he had.
Slowly, Jay lifted Hailey's hand, pulling back the sleeve of her shirt and exposing the deep, dark, raw marks that were dug into her wrist. Jay swallowed hard, now he was the one trying to maintain his composure as he looked up from Hailey's wrist, their eyes meeting. They both were teary eyed now.
"Hailey... what the hell happened?" Jay whispered.
This time, the dam broke. Hailey collapsed, throwing her body into Jay's. He wasn't expecting it, but after a moment to recover, he wrapped both arms around her trembling frame and held her to his chest as tightly as he possibly could. Hailey buried her face into Jay's neck, holding onto him for dear life. She trembled as the sobs wracked her body. Jay felt hot, wet tears spilling into his neck and onto his shirt.
"Hailey, you're alright..." Jay whispered. "I've got you, I've got you."
As the two partners sat there together on Hailey's bed, wrapped up in each other's arms for comfort... for the first time since the attack, Hailey felt somewhat safe.
TBC...
