Author's Note: Hey Y'all! It's been a while and I am incredibly sorry for that... life happened, my writer's block has also been just awful lately.

As always, I just want to say Thank You so much to everyone who has taken the time to read this story, especially to those who have left Reviews! I try to get around to replying to everyone who inbox's me, but I'm sorry if I have missed anyone!

Now, here's Chapter 12...


Saturday Night...

After managing to give her statement, Hailey had slipped off while Jay was speaking to Voight and the Team. The trauma of the past couple weeks was just too much for her to take, she needed to be alone for a while. Despite knowing it was wrong, that her actions would worry Jay... she turned off her phone as she left the 21st District.

Hailey caught an Uber back to Jay's place, picked up her car... and she drove. She drove for hours... until she finally found herself back at her apartment. She sat outside, staring at the building for what seemed like an eternity, before finally exiting the car and making her way inside.

The door was taped, due to it being an active crime scene... but Hailey entered anyway, cutting the tape before stepping inside. Her apartment, the apartment she had shared with her friend... was so quiet. Normally, when Hailey arrived... she would be greeted by Vanessa. The two would talk about their crazy day, joke about their love lives or lack of... just have a good time. Even though it seemed that Hailey was doing Vanessa a huge favor when she invited her to move in as a roommate... Hailey felt as though it was almost the opposite. Hailey had never really had any close friends in her adult life... or even in during her childhood, really.

Hailey also wasn't extremely close to her real family, so... having Vanessa there, it made her apartment feel more like a "home" than Hailey had ever really had. Vanessa was more than just a friend... she was like family. And now, Vanessa was gone... and in Hailey's mind, it was all her fault.

Slowly, Hailey made her way inside, stopping at the couch and flopping down onto it. Hailey buried her face in her hands and started sob uncontrollably. She didn't even try to stop the wave of emotions from escaping, instead, she just let go.

Suddenly, there was a soft knock on the door... Hailey jumped up immediately, her heart racing instantly.

The door opened slowly, Hailey raised her gun which had been seated in it's holster... That's when, even through her blurry tear filled eyes, she recognized the figure entering the apartment as Jay. Hailey let the gun fall from her hands, once again burying her face in them.

As soon as Jay saw Hailey sitting on the couch, he wasted no time practically running across the room to her... totally disregarding the fact that her gun was drawn just moments before.

"Hailey..." Jay said, softly... as he sat down beside her, pulling her into his embrace. "Thank God you're alright... I was so worried."

"I'm sorry..." Hailey cried, now resting her head against his chest. "I just... I needed to be alone for a while... I needed..."

"It's okay..." Jay breathed. "It's okay... I'm just glad you're alright."

"I just can't believe she's gone..." Hailey sobbed. "It's all my fault... it should have been me, not her."

"None of this is on you." Jay said, trying to ground her.

"It is... he was after me." Hailey cried.

"I offered her to come stay with me, it was her choice to come back to the apartment..." Jay said.

Hailey pulled back, quickly lifting her head, so that she could look at Jay. At that moment, she didn't care that there were tears running down her face.

"So what, you're saying this is her fault?" Hailey snapped, anger clearly dripping from her voice.

"No... not at all." Jay explained, softly. "What I'm saying is... this isn't on you."

"He was after me, Jay... he killed her because of me." Hailey cried. "Even he said it this morning... it's my fault."

"Hailey, listen to me... don't you dare let that bastard get into your head! He's just trying to break you. He wants you to blame yourself, but this is not your fault."

Hailey shook her head. "I loved her like a sister, you know... she was like the family I never had."

Jay swallowed hard. "I know..."

"Now, she's dead because of me..." Hailey cried.

"No, this is not your fault... you've got to listen to me." Jay pleaded.

"I can't do this... I can't... I can't live with this..." Hailey sobbed.

"Hey, hey... yes you can, we're going to get this guy. You're going to get through this." Jay said.

"Maybe I don't want to..." Hailey whispered, with a bitter laugh.

"Hailey..."

"Maybe I don't want to live anymore... it should have been me, not her. She didn't deserve to die... I did." Hailey cried.

"Don't talk like that..." Jay pleaded, his heart was breaking seeing his partner and best friend like this.

"It's true... it should have been me." Hailey cried. "She was so young, so full of life... she had her whole life ahead of her. What do I have to live for? I don't have anyone in life who'll miss me when I'm gone. Not close with any of my family. It should have been me... I don't know if I can live with this."

Without thinking, Jay quickly grabbed Hailey by the shoulders, once again pulling her into his embrace. He held her, tightly, tighter than anyone else ever had. He buried his face into her hair, breathing her in.

"Hailey... please don't do that, don't talk like that..." Jay begged, trying to keep the tears that were pricking his eyes from falling.

"It's true..." Hailey whispered.

"Hailey, I know you've been through hell and back. I know there's a lot you haven't told me, but just the little bit you have... I don't know how you do it. I don't know how you deal with everything you've been through... but you do. You're strong Hailey, I'm not going to let some sick bastard take you down after everything you've overcome." Jay said.

"I'm just so tired, Jay... tired of everything." Hailey whispered.

"I know, but you're going to get through this." Jay said, softly. "I'm going to be right here, to help you through it in any way I can. We're partners..."

"You shouldn't have to..." Hailey whispered.

Jay pulled back, so as to face Hailey. Their eyes met, once more... both tear filled at this point.

"You said there's no one who'll miss you..." Jay whispered, his voice cracking. "Hailey... I don't know what I'd do if something ever happened to you. I don't think you know how much you mean to me. I'd be lost without you..."

"Jay... you don't have to say things to try making me feel better." Hailey said, looking down, breaking their gaze.

Jay placed his finger under Hailey's chin, gently pushing it up so she would look at him. He lifted his other hand, gently running it down her wet, tear stained cheek. "I'm not just saying things... you mean the world to me. Hailey, you're more than just my partner... you're my best friend. Hailey, I... I know this isn't the time, but... I Love You."

Hailey gasped. "You... what?" she whispered.

"I Love You... I have, for a long time." Jay said, his eyes never leaving hers. "You don't have to say it back, you don't have to say anything... I just want you to know. I meant it when I said I'm not going anywhere. Good or bad, right or wrong... I'm here. I promise."

Hailey didn't say anything, at that moment, she just couldn't find the words. Instead, she threw herself back into Jay's embrace, clinging to him tightly. Jay planted on soft kiss on the top of her head, holding her close to him.

"I've got you..." Jay whispered, as she completely lost it in his arms.

In a world of uncertainty, Jay knew they still had a lot to face... but he felt, deep down, that things would be alright.


TBC...

I'm sorry that it's short, I felt that's where I had to leave this for now... until next time!