Author's Notes:

Fair warning, the third part of this chapter has a character named Chains that might make more sexually sensitive readers a little uncomfortable. If so, then I'm patting myself on the back because that's kind of the point, lol. When I thought of a character to be in the lingerie store in Hell, he was the first thing that came to mind and, frankly, none of the others were as funny and awkward to me. That's including a store owner of a lingerie store called "Bitchin' Boss" who was in the back digging her heel into the back of one of her employees in an old-fashioned dominatrix outfit.


Chapter 38

When You're Bored

Bored and lonely. Those are the only two words adequate enough to describe Alastor at the moment.

During this time of year, the loneliness usually hit a bit hard. It was a typical thing; become a hermit for a week or two, then reintegrate into society by going on a hunt to escape the plateau of boredom he willingly sat on until the holiday ended. A lot of people told him that the show following Lust Day was something to look forward to every year, as he tended to take out all his frustrations on whatever poor sinner managed to stir his appetite.

But this year, he had spent eight months in that hotel before the holiday hit, and it made the tower feel emptier than usual. The hotel was a safer place than most to spend time in as far as his comfort levels were concerned, but he simply dreaded the idea that he could walk into a situation like that blasted game Fizz had the guests playing. He could never unsee what that mongoose and bird were doing. He felt parts of himself turn inwards just remembering that it even happened. And someone put that in a board game.

Heathens.

He tried to focus on other thoughts. Angel Dust's pranks were an obnoxious and juvenile disturbance to his peace, but at the very least he thankfully only suffered the one, personally. He forced the pink pervert to return the articles that fell on his head; he was far too embarrassed to do it himself, and it seemed a fitting punishment. Charlie agreed, at any rate, and seeing Vagatha nearly claw the spider's eyes out while reclaiming her share of the pile was wonderful to watch.

As an opportunistic man, he often didn't plan his acts of vengeance out now that, in death, he didn't require the secrecy that he did in life. Even so, in his boredom he did find himself contemplating Harve's punishment. In truth it was a small offense, but the thought of throwing him in the fireplace for his attitude alone sounded rather delightful. Too bad it would be such a wretched mess for poor Niffty to clean. The screaming might be worth it, though. If he hadn't promised otherwise, he might have even thrown Curio in for good measure. They are friends, after all, and misery loves company.

When he wasn't lost in thought, he was writing a very special contract. Normally he had no problem collecting souls with a shake, but this soul was a bit too particular for such a sloppy approach, and he couldn't afford to make a mistake. After all, Eliza had a tendency to backpedal hard if made to feel uncomfortable. The only trouble was that, for the first time since he died, he was having some… difficulty.

Nothing sounded right once it was on paper. Sometimes he worried he was giving her too much autonomy, but other times he knew that keeping a tight grip would likely breed animosity. He wanted to make use of her skills; deception, diplomacy and observation. While he enjoyed his other contracted souls and the many skills they had on offer, they did not often possess diplomatic dispositions, at least not at her level. That would evaporate in an instant if he took too much of her freedom away. In some ways, this felt like too much work for one soul; he wasn't a man to walk on eggshells for just anyone, and usually it was in pursuit of a dark soul that he wished to snuff out. And yet, the thought of leaving her unclaimed made him anxious.

His mother would beat him senseless if she ever knew that he considered Eliza's death as a more convenient alternative, albeit an unfortunate one that left him feeling confused and a bit off his game. Was his paranoia getting the better of him? She did see his rival without telling him; perhaps it broke a bit of trust? Was it dangerous to admit that he trusted her enough in the first place to feel that way?

He scrapped another page, crumpling it in his hand before throwing it in the air, not bothering to turn as it caught fire and spread ash across his floor to join the other failed attempts. Why is this so hard? It's not like this is his first contract, for pity's sake! His home desk was a mess as he looked at previous contracts for inspiration, but none of them were for a small-time deal like collecting a new, technically rather low-tier soul.

The thought occurred to him that he might simply be overthinking this. After all, he remembered the terms for loose contracts like what he had with Husk and Niffty. If they betray him, he'll sense it. Nothing they do can result in his permanent death, and if he calls on them to help him, they must obey. In short, serve him faithfully, and he remains a very fair master; tight grip, loose reins. Simple.

So why didn't it feel like that was enough?

He was too wrapped up in the game; he must be. She denied him answers so often that, when he finally got one, it felt exciting. Breaking down her walls, having her willingly spend time with him, was an absolute treat. Even an honest loss in a simple game of cards had been quite entertaining. But if he owned her soul, would the game be over? Maybe that's it! All she needs is the right to refuse him in trivial events such as conversations, games and day-to-day affairs. That would fix everything; he was certain of it! As long as she was at his beck and call for important things, the rest didn't matter as much, right? Problem solved!

Unless she stopped wanting to give him those things entirely.

Frustratingly returning to square one, he realized that the contract alone might make her put distance between them, which would be no fun at all. No matter how he looked at it, this was very likely to backfire. That thought had never bothered him so much as it did now.

He was done with this for now. The current contract was the best one yet, but it still felt insufficient, and constantly dwelling on it made his head hurt. Tomorrow was the dreaded holiday, and after that he could return to this with fresh eyes. He might even get a little sleep between now and then, just to be sure. A couple hours would probably do him some good.

Originally, when Charlie told him of the party she wanted to have at the hotel, he felt no desire to join in the festivities. Now, however, the loneliness won him over. Maybe he'll show up after all, and if someone misbehaved, he'd just pull them aside and shred them just to maintain his peace of mind. He'd get in trouble, but it was likely he could sweet-talk Charlie into letting him keep his position as an active business partner, rather than forcing him to work in the shadows. Normally that could be quite fun, but in this case that sounded like such an unnecessary pain. Working directly with the princess was much easier than going behind her back, and much more entertaining.

After all, it's not like they could fully get rid of him no matter what he decided to do.


Bored and lonely. That's how Angel felt as he locked himself in his room for a while to rest and decompress. Normally it felt nice to come back to the hotel and sleep before shit hit the fan all over again, but today he just felt too antsy to sleep no matter how much his body hurt. It was the day before Lust Day for crying out loud! He should be out there doing something!

"Eh, fuck it." He told Charlie he'd stay at the hotel, but frankly he missed Cherri and wanted to have some fun. The only problem was he wasn't even sure what he wanted to do! Blow something up? Too tired for that shit. Club-hopping? Not in the mood for dancing, and Lord help him if he ran into someone who knew him and wanted him to perform. But the more mild options like going to a cafe or just walking around sounded so dull. Maybe he should walk around the hotel to find some inspiration.

Unfortunately Vaggie started getting pissy about his drinking with Husk, so at Charlie's request he's been laying off that particular activity more and more. Even after that game of Truth or Dare he only had three shots, though Heaven knows he wanted more. Getting drunk with that sexy cat is a massive stress-relief. Now there's talk of a drinking limit that Vaggie thinks should have been implemented shortly after the bar was added. No idea what delayed it, really; his only guess was that Alastor was somehow involved. Matiu is going to be pissed when he can't order martinis whenever he wants anymore.

When he reached the ground floor, he waved at Husk as he carried decorations into the stage-room. "Heya, Husky-"

SCRRRREEEEEEEEE!

Husk looked about ready to pass out as both he and the spider were assaulted by the metallic ear-rape of Fizz wailing and gnashing his teeth on the Mezzanine. Unsure what was happening, Angel just decided fuck it and felt the muscles in his legs coiling before taking off like a spring, clinging to the rail just behind the sobbing jester. Climbing over and standing tall over him, he saw the clown was on his knees absolutely sobbing oily tears. He didn't want to know what liquid or sludgy substance was in him that he could sniff like that, but it sounded downright nasty.

"OK, what the fuck, Fizz!" he demanded, yanking the metal servant back by his shoulder. "There betta be a damn good reason why ya just tried ta bust our eardrums!"

He sniffed again, and Angel's nose scrunched as he considered releasing him for sanitary purposes. "She… My boss, she… she doesn't… SCREEEE-!"

"Don't. Do that. Again," Angel warned, covering his own ears while using his other four arms to restrain and silence the robot before he could let loose again. "Now, what's up with the shrink?"

Speak of the devil, Eliza burst out of her room looking extremely frazzled. "Fizz! Stop- Oh, thank you for catching him! He burst in while I was meditating, then ran off shrieking!"

"I'M SO SORRYYYYYY!" the jester cried, easily breaking free of Angel and wrapping his arms around his master's waist, clinging to her like a crying child and making her blush. "I didn't know, I SWEAR!"

Angel just stared at him, feeling more than a little disturbed at the metal servant's wailing. "The guy's a fuckin' wreck! What happened?"

"Nothing," Eliza answered with a confused shrug. "Like I said, I was meditating! I didn't even get a chance to say anything to him!"

After another awkward moment of listening to Fizz apologize into her skirt and mutter strange things like "This is not fair" and "Hell is so cruel," Angel made note of her appearance; lightly disheveled, and there were oddball wrinkles in her usually pristine appearance. His face morphed from one of confusion into one of smugness, like someone who just picked up on the secret.

Eliza cocked an eyebrow at his expression. "What?"

"'Meditating,' huh?" Angel's voice was drenched in disbelief as he went, "Mmm-hmm. Ya sure that's the story you're gonna stick to?"

After a moment, Eliza's expression just flattened. "Do you honestly think Fizz would be distraught by walking in on me masterbating?!"

"Then why do ya look like ya got busted wit' the milkman?" he inquired, looking her up and down.

Following his gaze, she realized that her typically well-kept appearance was a little disorderly. "Oh, because I meditate naked. I was worried about him, but I'm not about to run through the halls nude! Give me some credit! I only walk around my room that… way…" Trailing off as a thought came to her, she looked down at Fizz and realized something; he'd be thrilled if he caught her masterbating, or at worst a little peeved that she wasn't just making use of him, but instead he walked in on her while she was sitting naked on the couch, where her body was in clear view.

When Eliza burst out laughing, Angel looked at her like she was crazy, and Fizz looked extremely confused. Knocking his head back to look her in the face, he asked, "B-boss? Y-you're not mad? I just thought you were playing hard to get, I didn't think-"

"Fizz," she cooed down at him, patting him on the head with an almost insulting level of pity, "they're hidden, not non-existent."

For one hilarious moment, Fizz's eyes seemed to glitch as he processed the vague answer she gave him, clearly settling the issue while confusing the hell out of Angel Dust. "The fuck ya talkin' about?"

"Y-you mean that you actually do have..?" he asked, hopefully. When she nodded, he practically head-butted her chin on his way up to grab her and twirl her around happily. "OH THANK SATAN!"

"What's hidden?!" Angel demanded, raising his voice as he went utterly ignored.

"Fizz," Eliza choked out as the jester held her tightly to his chest in happiness, "let go of me; I can't breathe!"

"Oh, sorry boss," he apologized with a chuckle, immediately setting her back down on her feet.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"

They both turned sharply to stare at the porn star, who looked about ready to tear his hair out. "Oh, I can hide my private parts whenever I wish."

Processing the truth of the situation, Angel started waving his arm around. "Wait, wait, wait. You're tellin' me that Fizz freaked an' went banshee on our asses because he thought you didn't have a vagina?!"

"She didn't have anything!" Fizz bellowed. "No meat curtains, no schlong, and no tits! I'm not even sure I saw a back-door!"

After sharing a brief look, both Angel and Eliza lost their shit. Fizz just watched as the two laughed so hard that he might need to grab a mop for the tears and drool puddles under them. After a couple minutes of calming themselves, Angel suddenly looked like he had something of an epiphany. "Hold up; that why you ain't got underwear?"

"Well, it's certainly a waste of money at this point," the therapist stated thoughtfully.

"A waste?!" Angel barked, rising to his feet at last. "Are ya fuckin' kiddin' me? Underwear is the most important part of any outfit!"

"It's true," Fizz nodded, sagely.

"Why? The whole point of underwear is to not be seen. It doesn't mean anything!"

"It ain't about what people see," Angel informed her, "it's about how it feels. Yea, you've got yer style that everyone sees, but you can feel badass as a leather-thong bitch underneath, and no one's gotta know! It's all about confidence."

"...I don't get it. If people see your underwear, they think you're trashy!"

"Bitch, we're in Hell now," Angel reminded her with a cocky grin. "And thanks to this, I officially know what I want to do! Fizz, help me out here!"

"With pleasure." Giving a wild bow, he followed the spider's lead and the two of them each took an arm and started guiding her towards the stairs.

They only paused when a pair of large black wings popped out to party. "And just what are you planning to do?"

"Calm your tits," Angel sassed. "We're goin' shoppin'! And I'm callin' my friend Cherri ta meet us there!"


When Cherri looked at a picture Angel sent her, she nearly lost it. He had that broad grin, but it was wide, toothy and genuinely both happy and mischievous. In the back of the picture was a Robo-Fizz, and though she knew there was one at the hotel, it was funny to actually see him in Angel's selfie. The funniest part, however, was the demoness stuck in the middle, who looked ready to murder them with two enormous wings. Apparently that was the psyche chick working at the hotel, and he was abducting her for the rest of the day. Cherri was invited too, so she gave the affirmative and started her long trek to their favorite underwear store.

Dirt cheap and with everything from granny panties to straps that don't cover a damn thing, they always went there to see what they had in stock. And of course it was good to finally meet the person her friend saw every other week for therapy. Sure she heard some things from Angel, but if she caught a whiff of bullshit, she was going to blow the bitch sky-high. Charlie seemed rather chill, but her girlfriend was a bitch and made it clear that Cherri wasn't welcome after the turf-war incident. As for the Radio Demon, despite being a twisted fucker for sure, he didn't seem all that interested in hurting Angel, but she didn't trust him. Honestly, she didn't trust anyone with that much power, and he's such a pompous asshole. Eliza, however, had yet to go through her bullshit detector, but that was about to change.

First to arrive, Cherri leaned on the wall of the store called Underparty and checked Voxtagram. There was an update from moonlight_howling_666; a picture of her in her favorite dress. Cherri had to admit that, for a hellhound, this chick was really hot. Then there was gothchk17, who posted about some new book she found and liked. She does that sometimes, but other times she enjoyed taking shots at her dad. Apparently he's some big-shot demon prince, and she just loves embarrassing the fuck out of him. One time she took a picture of him giving a blowjob, and he freaked out trying to delete it and ended up making it worse. Some people on Voxtagram were an absolute riot.

Then she checked out a post from Radvelvetcakes and laughed. It was a selfie of Velvet sitting under a table with a finger pressed to her lips, and behind her was the bottom of Valentino's robe. Next to the picture, the little overlord posted, Mommy's pissed! Need to hide or he'll kick my ass. As always, people were asking what she did to make him mad, but she didn't bother responding. Cherri would just hear about it in person some other time; it must be a fun story. And finally there was Angel's sister, Prettypoppinmolls, also known as Molly, who posted a picture of herself in a kick-ass suit. Fuck, that girl could pull off any look, and Cherri was never ashamed to stare.

Unfortunately she got so wrapped up in staring that she missed the moment a pesky metal jester spotted her and decided that personal space was for chumps. Suddenly a metal arm snaked around her neck, and when she looked up with a bomb ready in hand, she was face to face with Fizz. "Well he-llo~ AH!" Cherri didn't even have a chance to shove the bomb down his throat before a large black hand palmed the top of his head and picked him up, forcefully removing him from her bubble. It took a moment for her to recognize it as one of the wings from Angel's selfie.

"I'm very sorry, he doesn't leave the hotel much. For good reason…" When Eliza glared at him, he just shrugged sheepishly. "Anyways, wonderful to meet you." She bowed in greeting. "My name is Eliza." After a beat, the crow shifting around on her shoulder made a small sound, and she chuckled. "And this is Alucard. The rude clown is Fizz."

"Oh, sure, introduce the bird first!" he huffed.

"As if most people don't know who ya are," Angel teased, pushing the hanging metal captive to the side like a bead curtain. "'Sup!"

"Hey, mate!" she greeted, punching his shoulder. "'Bout time you showed up!"

"Always worth the wait, babe," he shot back. "Anyways, this is the shrink, her obnoxious pet, and her trained bird."

"HEY!" Fizz shouted, glaring daggers at the smug porn-star.

"You boys go in first," Cherri suggested, giving Eliza a look that made her head tilt curiously. "I wanna have a chat with her, first."

"Hold off on the intimidation," Angel warned, glancing at the crow warily. "The crow bites first and asks questions neva." As if to emphasize his words, the bird tilted its head down and fluffed up with a growl, causing Eliza to give him a cautionary tap on the beak.

"I can handle him," she said, confidently. "Go find something sexy; once I'm in there, you'll both get your asses handed to ya!"

"Bring it on, Sugar Tits!" Angel challenged, sauntering inside while Fizz was put down to follow. He glanced back at the cyclops chick before disappearing inside. He didn't care what she said, he was going to be watching everything.

As she stared down the therapist, she was surprised to see that the wings actually disappear when they aren't being used. That was definitely something to be wary of. "Alright, I hear you're a 'cut to the chase' type, that right?"

"I prefer to be if possible," she answered. "Particularly if the situation is unpleasant."

"Sweet, then I'll just say it; ya fuckin' wit' Angel's head?"

"Angel mentioned you were a bit paranoid," Eliza chuckled. "But if you mean to ask if I guilting him into change, recommending him to drug himself into submission or torturing him until he believe's he's something disgusting or wrong? No, I am not."

"Then what are ya trying to do to him?"

"That is confidential, I'm afraid."

"Yea, yea, confidential shit. Alright, let's try this: Are you trying to make him a model citizen to get into Heaven?"

"That is Charlie's goal, yes," Eliza answered, carefully. "Unfortunately, we aren't actually sure what's needed to get into Heaven, but we don't ask anyone to change in… unnecessary ways. We stick to the basics: finding ways to curb violent tendencies and dealing with other obvious sins that Heaven likely would not permit, such as promiscuity and stealing."

For a moment the cyclops looked the woman over, taking in her somewhat posh appearance and calm, disconnected expression. In some ways she made Cherri think of the shit-heads she liked to blow up for looking down their noses at people. At least she didn't seem like a total pompous ass, and Angel is vouching for her. "Fine, that's fair," she conceded, "just don't go trying to make him something he's not. As long as he's happy, we're cool. But the moment he's not I'm gonna fuck up your shit, got it?"

"Understood," Eliza agreed, feeling a little tense. Angel had mentioned before that she's an anarchist, and Eliza was not particularly fond of falling back into old habits, but at the same time Id was setting off fireworks in the back of her head. Why did it have to leave her feeling so uncomfortably excited? "Should we go in now? Fizz is going to melt the glass if he stares any harder."

When Cherri's head whipped around to look, the jester quickly disappeared behind a rack of clothes. "Yea, you're clown's a little freaky."

"Funny," Eliza murmured teasingly, "I've heard Valentino shares that opinion, too."

Cherri smirked. "Think we should send him a nasty surprise?"

"Like a naked Fizzarolli stretched over his desk in a suggestive pose?" the therapist suggested. "I've considered it, but I do want Fizz to survive the encounter. If you figure that out, I'm sure he'd be up for it."

"Least you ain't a total stiff," Cherri snickered. "Come on; let's get in there and give those boys a run for their money!"

Before entering, Eliza gave Alucard a gentle scratch on the beak before sending him off to stretch his wings while they shopped. When they walked inside, a man came up to greet them, and Eliza stared. Covered in light gray fur with tan stripes, his long fluffy tail had chains holding together metal bands, binding the tail and doubtlessly pulling the hairs constantly. Then there was the metal jock-strap, not even bothering to use cloth or leather in any way but leaving room for a sizable member. God help him if it ever tried to rise though. Or maybe that was the point. The chain link binds around his torso could clearly be used as a sex harness. Those were the only things the guy was wearing, and suddenly Eliza understood exactly what she was dealing with. Strangely enough, this realization made her feel a lot better.

"Good ta see ya, Cherri!" he greeted fondly.

"Hey there, Chains!" Cherri gave the guy a little wave before walking past as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Eliza, however, could not look away, in awe at what Hell's indifference makes people numb to. If she hadn't been in the hotel all her afterlife, would this not even phase her anymore?

Fortunately, Chains didn't seem to mind at all, taking a moment to look her over as well. Every time something pinched, she saw him twitch, and he was clearly enjoying it. "Mmm, ya white all 'round, honey? Dark metal'd work nicely on ya. Black-iron's heavy but would hold those tits up nice. The contrast'd be… oh!" His tail twitched, and he blushed with hazed eyes. "Pardon me."

Eliza smiled as she thought of how fun it would be to see this guy go through withdrawals if he was forced out of his pleasure chains for any length of time. Would he beg people to pinch him all the time just to keep him sane? Would he itch constantly from the lack of stimulation? Would he sink into a depression? Maybe he'd snap and go on a psychotic break. A little extreme, perhaps, but in Hell anything is possible.

Needing to shake those thoughts out of her head, she replied calmly, "Black iron sounds rather unpleasant, as does metal as a whole. I assume you have more available than just that?"

"Don't knock it till you've tried it," he answered with a wink. "But we've gotta lil' of everythin', dollface." With that, he turned on his heel and started walking her around, showing her all the options they had on hand. One section was full of corsets, girdles and garter belts in matching sets, some with stockings, some without. Then there was a section full of slip-on lingerie in various styles from all time-periods. Leg garters were everywhere, different styles of panties and bras… There's something for everyone here! In all honesty, she felt extremely overwhelmed by the sheer volume of options.

"Tighten your assholes," Angel called out, drawing her attention away from the chainlink kink-fest guiding her around, "and get ready to drop for the sexiest bitches in Hell!"

The porn-star proudly strutted through in a tight hot-pink and red two-piece with a heart-shaped open chest and another heart-shaped hole just above his junk on a pair of control briefs. Then there was Fizz, who has taken off his trademark jester suit for the occasion to show off a black and yellow halter bra with "Mammon" written in yellow letters across the front, black boyshorts and a black and yellow leg garter.

Cherri laughed in the background as the two modeled their choices, but Eliza felt a little strange. Honestly, she never considered Fizz to be particularly attractive. Visually appealing, sure, but not attractive. Maybe some appeal was lost with the jester suit that he came with. But the way he was strutting around showing off didn't feel like a robot serving a function. It seemed so… real, somehow. And she couldn't help but watch Angel move as he practically danced for his private audience, clearly feeling better than when he arrived at the hotel with Charlie. It was surprisingly graceful, and she studied him closely.

Shortly after they started, Cherri swaggered her way out and model-walked right in the middle of the two. "Back up, boys! Hot shit comin' through!" Rocking an asymmetrical single strap black bra that fully covered her left breast (the same side as the strap) but only half-covered her right, the words "Red Hot" were written across her chest in red letters, and she also wore a pair of black and red slip panties. Over that was a torn black garter belt with only one stocking clip, so she only wore one black stocking on her right side that had holes in it. Angel whistled while Fizz gave her a 'WOOP WOOP!'

"Come on, boss!" Fizz invited, sliding his hand over to the small of her back and guiding her forward. "Let's find something sexy for you, too!"

When she saw that the clown was guiding her to a rack of straps, she pushed him away with a sigh. "Not those."

From that point on, Fizz would dash away only to bring her something to approve. The first was a black thong and string-bra, to which she just gave a look of crippling disappointment. Taking a hint, he went for more modest options, though not by much. Eventually she just went to wander on her own, taking a second to tell Fizz "No" whenever he came back with something new. At first she just felt annoyed; she really didn't feel like she could pull any of these off. In life, she just went for cheap and comfortable; usually granny panties and sports bras. Granted they had those here, too, but everything was affordable here, so she had no excuse aside from her belief that being able to hide her parts rendered underwear completely irrelevant. All she hoped was that they wouldn't tell her to strut around like they were; no matter what they said, she still believed that underwear was not supposed to be seen.

When Fizz came back with a baby-doll piece covered in sequins, she made a face and just pushed it off. Granted the baby-doll style was an improvement, but while sequins look nice and shiny from a distance, up close she always found them so ugly, and she's always up close because she's the one that has to wear it. Then she found the lace section, and finally she felt like she might find something here. Granted the more revealing ones still weren't one her radar, but then she found a rather lovely black-lace body piece. The breasts were completely covered, as was the crotch, so already it was a tier above most. The lace traveled down the midriff and thinned out until it just barely went around the belly button before widening back out once more, exposing the sides, while the back had a deep V that connected at the small of her back. The pattern of the lace was made up of skulls and wisps of smoke, which looked rather impressive for a cheap, off-the-rack piece. Grabbing it, she went back to look at garter belts and stockings until she found a set she liked; the belt was all lace and followed the skull theme, and there was a pair of black stockings topped with wispy lace while the rest was a classic fishnet look.

After finding what she wanted, she took a look around and noticed something was missing. "Um, Chains? Where is your changing room?"

"We ain't got one, dollface," he droned, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. "No one's judgin'; strip down an' give us a show. Your friends are sure havin' fun!"

Eliza felt a bit self-conscious. It was one thing to walk around naked in her own space, but to do so out in the open just felt like a little much. That, and his suggestive tone made her wonder if the hotel had bolt-cutters in the maintenance closet, and if she had time to run back to the hotel and grab them. That would give Chains an indication of how she felt about this. "Do you have a more isolated corner I could change in?"

Chains pointed to a space in the back, and she immediately retreated. It took her a minute to figure out how to get into the strange thing; she never wore anything like this in life. Honestly, fancy underwear was more expensive than the most practical of clothes, and she always found that weird.

"Hey, ya done back there?" Angel called, impatiently. "We're waitin', toots!"

Reminding herself that she's on a friendly outing and should probably wave the no-nickname rule (a train of thought that felt utterly wrong), she finally got herself into the ensemble and looked down. Well, it certainly seemed to fit well, at least, though it seemed a bit tight. Given the nature of the holiday, however, that was probably appropriate.

Taking a deep breath and repeating 'This is Hell, no one cares,' in her head, she stepped out and joined her friends in the open space, though she was not inclined to strut around like they had. Still, it was hard not to try and hide herself with her arms.

"Pfft, such a virgin," Angel teased. "Open up, hot stuff! Rock that lace!" When she just stood there awkwardly, Angel sighed. "Alright, watch us, K? Alright bitches, strike a pose!"

Angel threw his head back, his top right hand behind his head with the elbow in the air and the top left hand had the fingers pressed into his chest fur. The bottom set were holding his hips, and his left leg was in front of the other for balance. Cherri dropped onto her knees, which were spread as wide as they could in front of her. Her left hand was in the front part of her hair, while her right was sporting the rock-on gesture with her tongue in the middle of her fingers. Finally there was Fizz, who was on his elbows with his head tilted and his legs spread-eagle on the ground.

Eliza studied each one of them for a few seconds. She wasn't sure she could pull off something like what Fizz was doing, but Angel and Cherri picked much more reasonable positions. Slowly and very experimentally, she moved until she found something simple but comfortable; her right hand wove its fingers into her hair while the left sat comfortably on the side of her chest, and her legs were still together but the right was somewhat bent and balanced on the ball of the foot.

"Eh, we'll work on it later," Angel shrugged, "but hey, not a bad start! Not surprised ya went fer lace, but why're ya so shy? Y'always love perverted shit."

"It's one thing to find it funny or interesting," she stated, "but it's another to actually do this sort of thing. It doesn't feel natural to me."

"Maybe we'll try usin' the stage sometime!" he suggested. "It only gets used one day a week; whaddya say?"

"That could be fun!" she agreed with a smile. "Perhaps you could show me how to pole dance as well?"

He pointed at Alucard, who was now waiting and cleaning himself on a rack just outside the door. "You get him ta watch the door so Bitch-Face doesn't catch us, an' I'll show ya how ta knock 'em dead!"

"Only if I can watch!" Fizz added, popping up from the floor and hugging Eliza, nuzzling her shoulder expectantly.

She just sighed in exasperation. "Fine, you can watch."

"Yes!" he cheered happily.

Cherri pulled Fizz off of Eliza and put an elbow on her shoulder. "Hey, if we're gonna getcha to open up, you know what we gotta do?"

Angel appeared on her other side and threw an arm around her neck, making her bristle slightly. "We gotta go clubbin'!"

Shit.

"Angel," Eliza growled, "you dragged me out to shop for lingerie and I played along, but I am not going to a club tonight."

"Which one ya thinkin', babe?" he asked, looking over Eliza's head at Cherri and ignoring the pale demoness' protests. "As long as it ain't one o' Val's, I'm game!"

Cherri scoffed. "I only go to those when you're there; his shit ain't good enough for us, anyway."

The two friends didn't even notice that the jester had entered a reclined position on the floor, his hands behind his head as Eliza's scales began to darken. Granted he wanted to take his boss to a club, too, but he wasn't dumb enough to think that ignoring her was a good idea. And as two large, black hands reached down and shoved the two of them off of her, he silently hoped for violence. Not likely to happen, but a guy could dream.

"You two," she hissed, glaring sidelong between them as she spoke, "can go if you want. So can Fizz. I have no interest in going to a club. This excursion has been awkward enough for one day."

"Aw, come on!" Angel insisted. "It'll be fun, with sexy dancers an' bangin' music an'-"

"I SAID NO!" she boomed, making him flinch. Immediately calming into that scary-sweet smile, she stated firmly, "I'm not in the mood to try that now."

"Hey boss," Fizz began, finally rising as an idea came to mind. "It really could be fun for you."

She glared at him with inverted eyes. "Fizz…"

The clown suddenly bounced forward and leaned into her ear, speaking only loud enough for her to hear. After a moment, the wings vanished as did all visual indicators of impending doom. "Hmm, that does sound kind of fun!"

"What does?" Angel asked.

"See, I told you!" Fizz smirked. "Come on; let's have a fun night!"

"Wait a sec," Cherri interrupted, "what the fuck are you two talkin' about?"

"You two can pick the place," Eliza told them. "Let me know when you decide, OK? I'm going to buy this and go get changed!"

As she walked away, the two friends stared after her before turning on Fizz. Angel was the first to start. "What the fuck did ya say ta change 'er mind?!"

"I thought we'd have to drag her!" Cherri added.

"How did you get 'er ta come?"

"Yea, spill already!"

Fizz just smiled and motioned with a hand that his lips were sealed, smugly following his master as the two friends went into a frenzy trying to figure out what changed her mind. Honestly, the jester was surprised Angel hadn't figured it out. After all, he's been in the sex industry for how long now? Seventy-something years?

He should know when he's dealing with a people-watcher.


Author's Notes:

Originally it was going to be a strip-mall of several lingerie stores and with more characters shopping, but it felt like the bit was taking too long and I wanted to focus more on specific dialogue than slogging through every different store and who went there, so it got condensed into "Underparty", which originally was something of a dom/sub store. Fun fact: The two who went to that store were Vaggie and Charlie, and Vaggie was definitely the dom. Just for kicks, here's the names of the other stores in the original order: Pimpin', Chain Banger (Which was supposed to be Chains' store), Straps of Pain, Bitchin' Boss, Ride 'Em Raw, Underparty, Clips and Lips, and Loveless Lace.

And of course, what's Eliza's first thought when meeting Chains? How to make the guy miserable, lol. Gotta love a closet sadist. Though as of the next chapter, it's not gonna be so 'closet...' Not in a sexual way, you pervs.

Also, I had so many scenarios of Fizz learning that Eliza can hide her private parts that it was ridiculous. Sometimes, the simplest ones are the best. No matter what though, each one involved a freak-out because the poor guy can't handle the thought that he can't have sex with his own master. I'm amazed his programming didn't short-circuit.