Chapter 39

Drunk Dragon Disorder

No matter what Angel said, Eliza felt very strange. It had been comfortable, being able to forgo underwear, and now she had the strangest set she's ever worn in her existence under her work shirt and pants. Considering everything else right now, she was thrilled that she had to change out of her skirt earlier, as it is currently stained from Fizz's oily tears. If she hadn't, she would have felt so exposed. That, and she hoped she wouldn't get anything on her current outfit that doesn't wash out. If the skirt hadn't been that beautiful black, she'd be worried about the oil leaving a dark stain. Now that she thought of it, she needed to buy actual clothes for outings, not just underwear. Maybe after her next payday.

Club Nox. Such a simple and cliché name, but the outside made her feel a little off. Unlike the clubs closer to Porn Studios, which tended to be rather bright, vibrant and blatant, this was more subdued. The building was worn and broken down, with shutters falling off in some places and a slanted roof, one that was clearly not by design. Everything was boarded shut, and the doors looked heavy and unmoving. Graffiti decorated every surface in the area, seemingly random but with strange little markings scattered around, almost like a code. Eliza could almost stay outside and study the building itself and be entertained for the evening.

Probably the freakiest part, however, was that there wasn't a single, solitary sound coming from the building or anything near it. Her ears were ringing in the silence, and it made her very tense.

"Hey, don't worry babe," Angel reassured her, leaning on her shoulder with a smirk. "Place is bangin' inside; promise. However, I'd leave the bird out 'ere."

Alucard ruffled his feathers with a hiss, and Eliza scratched his beak. "He'll be a good boy. Right?" The threat display turned into a puddle of feathers as the bird melted into her hand.

Angel scrunched his nose. "Ugh, whatever. Gimme a sec." Strutting up to the door, he gave four knocks.

"What's the order?" a gruff voice asked from a small speaker to the side.

"Two tequilas, a beer and a water with a pet."

"A water, eh? This oughta be good."

When Eliza heard a chuckle, she felt strangely irritated. "A water?"

"Y'ain't even a gin yet," he teased as the door opened.

"And the tequilas and beer?" She looked over at Fizz, who smiled proudly. "I'm going out on a limb here, but he's the beer, right?"

"Rude, crude and loud as hell," Fizz confirmed, as if that should explain everything.

As soon as they were inside, the door shut behind them and Eliza felt rather unsure. The space was small and nearly too dark to see, and the bouncer was the only other soul in the room with them. It took no prompting for her wings to stretch out and drape around her shoulders for a little extra security. Alucard just jumped onto one of the hands, his talons wrapping around a finger to keep steady.

"Rules for the water," the guy grunted from the front, causing Eliza to turn in surprise. "Ya make mistakes, we ain't savin' ya. Pay fer yer drinks and drugs and watch yer own back. We don't do fuckin' Angel Shots 'ere. Shit date? Yer on yer own. Long as the buildin' don't fall, no one gives a shit. Got it?"

"Understood," she confirmed with a grin. He just grumbled and went back to smoking and scratching his ass.

Then another set of doors opened, and the sudden exposure to loud music and flashing lights made Eliza's head snap forward in surprise. The beat was obnoxiously loud, and the venue was packed full of sinners having a good time.

Fizz gave an approving whistle. "I think I'm the first model to come in here!"

"How would you know that?" Eliza shouted over the music.

"There's a FizzLink forum we're all connected to," he informed her, taking pictures with his eyes and posting them all over the database. "Not a lot of other people can see it; mainly the original Fizzarolli and Asmodeus."

"Asmodeus?" she asked, turning to him in surprise. "As in the Prince of Lust?"

"The one and only!" he confirmed with a wicked grin. "Best. Parties. Ever. If sinners were allowed out of the Pride Ring, I'd totally take you to Ozzie's!"

"Ozzies… So Asmodeus is Ozzie? The same as the Ozzie in your manufacturer's name?"

"Yup! You're my boss, but he's our boss." He tapped himself on the head to indicate the link. "No offense boss, but his orders trump all."

"Would you two stop talkin' already?" Cherri laughed, grabbing Fizz's arm while Angel grabbed Eliza. "Come on, let's dance!"

"In a minute," Fizz said, removing Cherri's hand with a hoity-toity upwards head-tilt. "First, I entertain my boss as I promised." He swatted Angel's hand off of Eliza's arm and grabbed it for himself, locking arms with her and guiding her to a table.

"What the fuck's he talkin' 'bout?" Angel inquired in a suspicious tone. "Looks like they're goin' on some date or somethin'."

"She into 'im?" Cherri asked.

Angel shook his head. "Not in the least. Oh well; let's shake a leg!"

As the two friends joined in with the crowd bouncing in front of the stage where a band of imps was playing hard metal 'mood music', Fizz pulled out the chair for his boss and she sat down with a gracious nod, calling her wings back inside to relax. Alucard fluttered down onto the table and laid down where Eliza could pet him easily.

"I know you said you'd humor me," she told Fizz as he flipped a chair and sat backwards next to her, resting his head on his metal arms with an endearing head-tilt, "but since when are you a gentleman?"

"Since I know you'll leave if I piss you off," he snarked.

She giggled. "Fair enough. So, who should we start with?"

"That dude," Fizz decided, pointing at a tan-skinned demon with two horns turned inward like an angular heart. "Totally banging two different chicks in this room. The one he's with, obviously, but can you guess the second?"

Eliza scanned the crowd and spotted a rather small cyclops that reminded her of Niffty, but with slightly darker skin, long green hair and a red eye with a golden iris. She was glaring at the couple and positively seething. "Not her; I think she's a jilted girlfriend stalking one of them. Not sure which one she has her eye on, though."

Fizz looked around the general direction until he spotted the woman. "Oh shit, didn't even see her! Good find!"

"As for his other date… One of those two." She gestured at a girl who kept looking around the dance floor, and another sitting at a table looking at her watch. "They both seem to be missing someone, but if I had to pick, I'd say the one sitting at the table. The one walking around seems to be rather clingy and he would risk getting caught."

Fizz's matrix made a 'ding ding ding' to signal her victory. "Good call! Yup, he got up a couple minutes ago to go see the other chick. Ah-ha! Look at the dance-floor chick; she found her partner!"

Eliza's eyes flashed back to the other woman, and sure enough her arms were wrapped around a slightly taller demoness, who was trying to pry her off. "Poor girl."

"Eh, love's a bitch," Fizz shrugged. "Alright, my turn! Pick someone for me to-"

"Heya sweetie," a pink-skinned demoness with horns, wings and very little clothing walked up to them, swaying her hips that were barely covered by a tiny leather skirt. She gave Eliza a look that suggested many activities were going through her mind. "Lookin' for a good time?"

Eliza opened her mouth to dismiss her, but she was beaten to the punch. "Having one; spread 'em somewhere else."

Pouting, the woman turned with a huff, walking away to find someone else to proposition. The therapist turned to her servant with raised eyebrows. "That was strange for you. Are you alright?"

"Doing great!" Fizz beamed. "Besides, I promised to entertain you! Even if you weren't my boss, that makes you my priority for the night."

"...Ah."

Fizz cocked his head to the side at the awkward response. "Something wrong, boss?"

Eliza opened her mouth to speak, but promptly closed it when she realized she didn't have the words to explain the strange feeling she had. The last thing she wanted to do was talk about it when she still wasn't sure. But every now and then, especially today, the jester would do something that made her question whether or not he was just a mechanical servant. "It's nothing, don't worry about it." She returned her attention to the crowd until she singled out a tall man in the back with tentacles who was feeling up a man pinned up against the wall. "Them. Is it a one-time fling or a kinky couple?"

And like that, the two spent twenty minutes or so examining the crowd and often laughing at the ridiculously slutty outfits some people clearly thought were sexy. Then… "Hey boss, let's get a drink!"

"Wait, Fizz-" she called, but the clown was gone before she could refuse. She had never been much for alcohol in life; it tasted absolutely terrible. Still, she could give it another try. They were in Hell now, after all; what's the worst that could happen? It's not like it would ruin her career anymore.

When the jester returned, he put down a pinky-orange drink in front of her, clanging the glass against the metal table and making Alucard fluff up indignantly. "Here you go, boss!"

Looking down at the beverage, she couldn't deny that it at least looked promising. Half-full of ice, orange bleeding into pink at the bottom and a cherry resting on top, it certainly seemed drinkable, so she lifted the glass to take a sip. She tasted orange, but also coconut! After a moment, she stated in surprise, "That's… actually pretty good!"

He just smiled mischievously. Once again, he got it right; fruity drinks, freshly mixed. Store-bought never got the mix right, and she didn't look like the type to enjoy strong alcoholic flavors. Maybe now he could get her to drink at the hotel; alcohol could loosen her up a bit. Although when she started taking large gulps at a time, he was a bit surprised. "Glad you like it! Want another?"

"Hmm?" She asked, looking down at the glass. It was already half gone. "Oh, mercy! Um… Just how expensive are these?"

"Boss, you can get hard drugs from vending machines," he teased, wickedly. "How expensive do you honestly think alcohol is down here, hm?"

"...Oh." Taking another large gulp without thinking about it, she answered, "Then yes, I'd love another!"

"Sweet, get a Long Island for me," Angel ordered, sitting at the table while fanning himself. "Whew, so many hotties I almost ain't got enough hands!"

"Where's Cherri?" Eliza asked, looking around the dance floor. Then she saw a tuft of pink and blond hair sticking out near the stage, and when the crowd moved a bit she caught glimpses of the anarchist tonguing some pink-skinned girl with black hair tipped with yellow. "Nevermind, I found her. I'm surprised you're tired first. Don't you perform?"

"It ain't that," he said, looking over at his friend. "They're spreadin' some pill around an' I'm kinda avoidin' 'em. Don't tell Vags; I like 'er thinkin' I'm fucked up. Keeps 'er nice an' pissed."

Eliza blinked at him with a smile. "Even though we're here to party? Such resolve!"

"You mockin' me?" he teased.

"Not in the slightest," she answered in a giddy tone. "Success is always satisfying!"

"We talkin' my success or yours?"

"Yes."

"I'm back!" Fizz announced, setting down the drinks. "Enjoy!"

Angel and Eliza talked for several minutes, and over that time, the therapist started loosing count of her drinks. Occasionally Fizz would bring a new one by for her to try, and if she didn't like it he took it back and had it replaced with something new.

"Hehe…" Angel chuckled, holding himself up with his top set of arms to keep his chin from hitting the table when he tilted too far. "Yer lookin' a lil' plastered there, tootsie~"

"I…" Eliza held her head as the room started to spin. "I don' feel so good…"

If Angel had been sober, he might have teased her for the mild southern accent that slipped out for a moment. "Try walkin'," he suggested, pulling out his phone and squinting at the buttons as they swayed from side to side. "I gotta see this shit!"

The moment Eliza went to get up from her chair, the room took another spin and she lost her balance. Luckily, Fizz was right there to catch her. "Nice going there, grace!" he teased.

"Looks like ya'll're havin' a goo' time…" Cherri slurred, coming up to the table with hands down the craziest colors in her large eye.

"Check it," Angel wheezed, pointing at Eliza. "The shink's gon' tipsy!"

"Pfft, like yer any better," Cherri snickered. "Haha, wanna dance, 'shink'?"

"Do I look like I'm gonna dance to you?" she sassed, trying to focus on the cyclops' eyes. Wait, shouldn't she only have one eye? It was at that moment her inner red flag finally decided to do its damn job and alert her that maybe it was time to stop. "...I think I gotta go."

"Aw, come ooooon," Angel droned, staggering over and leaning hard on Fizz, who was now stuck in the middle of two clumsy drunks. "Don' be all shyyyy… Finda partn'r and go nuts!"

"I'll take ya for a spin," Cherri offered, strutting over to her other side and pulling on her arm. "Let's go!"

"W-wait!" Eliza argued, pulling herself out of her grasp only to fall backwards onto her rear. "I said I'm not gonna dance, dammit!"

"Hang on, guys," Fizz interjected, lifting his boss and placing her back in her chair, though she didn't immediately let go because she freaked out a bit. "I have an idea! Be right back."

Cherri slapped a hand on the table next to Eliza, making Alucard take off with a shriek. The therapist then noticed how very close she was to the high cyclop's cleavage. Id, who was slowly taking more and more control, was staring with no shame whatsoever. 'Daaayum… They look nice… Can I touchy..?'

"No!" Eliza hissed, looking away. It wasn't until Cherri turned her chair and got in her face that she realized she said it out loud.

"What, too good for 'em?" she asked.

"That's not what I meant!"

"Ya like 'em?" Angel teased, somewhat surprised. "Hey, don' get all huffy sugar tits; she *hic* only got eyes fer deer dad, but she was staaaariiiiing~!"

Eliza held her head in her hands, her face shifting darker and darker. 'Get me out of here, get me out of here, get me out of-'

"I'm baaaaack~!" Fizz sing-songed, flouncing back to their table and dropping something that made Eliza physically recoil. It was a larger shot-glass, half-filled with ominous gold liquid.

"No…" she drawled, pushing the glass of whiskey away and almost tipping it over. "Th-that's too strong for me, Fizz."

"Exactly!" he agreed, cheerfully. "Hey, Angel, how about a bet?"

"A'ight," he slurred with a sloppy smile. "Layit on meh!"

Fizz's metal body stretched until his chest, head and right arm were directly over the drink, pointing down at it with an excited expression. "She downs this in one go, you foot the bill and she gets to go back to the hotel. Hell, I'll carry her there! If she can't, then we stay and she buys all of your drinks. Deal?"

"I am not agreeing to-"

"Deal!" Angel and Fizz looked down at her expectantly, and she looked about ready to murder both of them.

'We won't have to pay!' Id cheered. 'Just down the poison, throw it back up later and we get away with free booze!'

Eliza stared down at the glass like it was a massive life decision. Damn it, why did they have to say that? She drinks that, deals with the third degree burns she'll be feeling in her throat for days, and the bill gets passed on to someone else. And Superego was no help at all when she added, 'think of it as saving garden money!'

When she reached out and grabbed the glass with a resigned sigh, Angel and Cherri high-fived and Fizz bounced up and down excitedly. After a moment of just sitting there she added, "Drinkin' after this doesn' count, got it?"

"Eh, sure," Angel shrugged. "Now chuggit, bitch!"

'You spit this out, we're broke,' Id reminded her, cheekily. 'No pressure!'

"No pressure my ass," she murmured to herself. Mentally preparing for the worst, she made a face as she lifted the glass. How did she see people down bad drinks in movies again? Oh, that's right…

She held her nose, threw her head back and fought every instinct that told her to spit it out in Angel's face.


Five Minutes Later, Outside the Bathroom:

Angel was laughing his ass off as Fizz stood just outside the bathroom listening to Eliza puking her guts up. She held the drink down for long enough to win the bet, but as soon as she was declared the winner by a proud, puffed-up Fizzarolli, she got up and stumbled her way to the bathroom, barely making it inside before keeling over the nearest sink. Strangely enough, the porn star didn't feel like he lost a damn thing. Seeing her three sheets to the wind was absolutely priceless.

Cherri, who was starting to come down a bit from the pill or two that she took earlier, rolled her head on the table while giggling. "A few more parties and she'll be a pro at this."

"Yea," Angel chuckled, "If da hangova don't scare 'er off drinkin'."

"She'll be fiiiiiine," Cherri droned. "She can survive a massive headache, yea?"

"Dunno, neva seen 'er do shit like dis."

"How's a prude like 'er in Hell?" Cherri laughed. "The fuck'd she do, anyway?"

"Turned a guy inta a murderer," he told her, flatly.

Cherri actually stopped rubbing her face on the table to look up with a crooked smile. "Damn. Don't look the type, does she? She doesn't try that shit with you, yea?"

"Nah, 'cause I wanna get betta, she'll help me get betta."

"So if ya wanted to be some uptight overlord piece o' shit like Val? What'd she do then?"

Angel felt like someone splashed a bucket of sobriety on his face as the thought gave him a spike of panic. "I… I don't know, but…"

"...I think she'd do it."


Inside the Bathroom:

Hot.

Eliza originally came in to barf out her lungs; her poor, burning lungs. She was surprised smoke wasn't coming out of her mouth. Once she started expelling her guts into the sink, she lost control of her bladder at the same time and smelled like piss. The other drinks would have been fine; she could have made it to a toilet at least, but the whiskey ruined any chance of that. How did she ever let Fizz talk her into this again?

Oh, right, free drinks. Damn years of budgeted living.

Despite being sure there wasn't a drop of alcohol left in her stomach, she kept wretching and overheating. Vapors were pouring off her scales, and even taking off her clothes didn't help. It wasn't a good idea to get naked in a public bathroom, but given that she was drunk and her clothes were soaked and nasty, she no longer cared. She just needed to peel off more layers, but there was nothing left to take off. Now pitch black, her entire body just looked like a shaking shadow bent over a sink.

Too hot…

"Hey boss," Fizz called from outside, stuck in exile by her embarrassed command, "I'll be right back, OK?"

She didn't bother responding as a dry-heave took over.

Unfortunately, when Fizz removed himself to go make sure Angel paid before his master attempted to leave, the snubbed succubus from before decided to make a move. Sure, the metal ass-hat dismissed her earlier, but surely without her bodyguard (especially in her plastered state) she'd be more agreeable. If not, what did it matter? A succubus' powers could win over the most stubborn of sinners.

Sure enough, when she walked in, the young woman was miserably hunched over, though she hadn't expected her to be nude. She licked her lips as she took in the sinner's profile; oh, she was going to be nice. Even the disgusting state of her didn't turn her off; she grew nose-blind to the smell of vomit and piss decades ago.

"Heya, honey," she crooned, sauntering over to her. Eliza just gave her a flat, side-long glare, too weak to get up at that moment.

"What do you wa-" At that moment, another dry-heave started, and she coughed up bile and mucus. "Oh, fuck this…"

When a single digit seemed to materialize under her chin, she was too shocked to fight as it turned her head to face the interloper directly as she sized her up. "I can do that for ya, sweetie."

Drunk far past her inner voices being able to give any sort of coherent advice, she just stared blankly up at the succubus as she carressed her own breasts. Without missing a beat, she blurted out, "Cherri's're better."

Growling, the woman took Eliza's chin in a tight hold and yanked her forward with far more strength than she should have possessed. "Think it's funny, dissmissin' me? Your servant bein' a dick wasn't enough for ya?"

The drunk woman giggled. "Noooooo~pe!" The extra pop she gave the 'p' made her giggle harder.

The sinner then found herself shoved backwards, landing hard on her spine and inhaling sharply as the room started spinning. The demoness straddled her hips with a snarl. When she pulled out a strap-on from… Well, Eliza could only assume it came out of her ass at this point, that earned a slighly more sober look. The demoness on top gave her a nasty grin. "Not so smart now, huh?"

As the woman started to suit up, a process that the therapist couldn't help but watch curiously, Eliza found herself bizarrely unafraid. Given the implications, she should be fighting right now. Her parts were exposed; that happened four drinks in and she was too buzzed to care, but that really should be a problem right now. Instead, she felt like she wanted to play.

Though maybe not the same way the succubus did.

When Eliza's smile returned as a wide, almost manic grin, the pink-skinned woman chuckled. "That's it; ya know ya wannit, dontcha sweetie?"

There was a tingling in the back of her skull that made her feel rather excited, but also sobered her up enough to think for a moment. Vapors were still rising off of her as she continued overheating, her wings were becoming anxious, and she felt like she was vibrating. It'd been years since she felt like this; and the last time she acted on it, she left a gas station in burning tatters.

That sounded amazing right now.

The other woman barely had time to register the wing before it grabbed hold of her face and tossed her into- no, through- the bathroom door. Several nearby sinners, succubi and incubi moved away from the woman as she lay there in a daze. By the time she was able to push herself up onto her elbows to glare at the woman she had nearly raped, her face fell. Inside the bathroom, making her way slowly to the door, was a stumbling, drunk black dragon.

When Eliza came at the door off-center, she just tore part of the wall down with her wing rather than correct herself. As far as she was concerned, the doorframe wasn't big enough to fit her in her new form, and that needed to be fixed right now. Because reasons.

Quickly rising to her feet, the succubus grew in size, showing her fangs and claws and sporting some monster wings of her own. "Bring it, bitch!"

Angel and Cherri looked over at the chaos just as the waiter ran back to the bar with the money for the bill. "What the fuck?" They shouted in unison.

Everyone nearby scattered as the dragon charged the demoness. Cherri gave a whistle as she pulled a small bomb out of thin air. "Now it's a fuckin' party! We pickin' a side or just bringin' the house down?"

"Bringin' it down!" Angel answered, pulling out two of his guns to play. Then he took note of the crumbling wall that was a bathroom doorway a moment ago and cocked an eyebrow. "Wait, ain't da shrink in dere?"

When the fight started, Fizz inched his way around the dragon and into the bathroom to get his master out of dodge. As the porn star watched him, the jester slowly made his way back out while carrying the shrink's clothes, looking out at the dragon in absolute wonder. And as if they needed another clue, they heard a loud CAW from the rafters before a black arrow darted through the air, raking the succubus' wings with long, sharp talons.

"Uh," Cherri droned as the pieces fell into place. "I think that is the shrink."

When the dragon finally got the upper hand, chomping down on the succubus' right arm and eating it, he gulped. "Oh shit!" Picking his phone back up off the table that was still on video mode, he clicked 'record'. "Oh, dis is fuckin' gold!"


Author's Notes:

You know, last time I posted two chapters on the same Saturday I called myself Santa Clause, but given this is a Hazbin Hotel fanfic, I totally should have said Krampus. Oh well. Another double-post because I actually got this chapter done quickly! WOOHOO! My husband talked me into finishing the chapter here because it's funnier, so it's short but hopefully good for everyone!