Chapter 40
Blame Game
Charlie felt absolutely frazzled as she searched the halls after checking everywhere else. Angel had promised her that he would stay at the hotel hours ago, but he was nowhere to be seen. When she got back from buying a few last-minute decorations with Vaggie, she decided to let him rest because he just had to be exhausted from all the work Valentino made him do. But when she knocked on his door, she was left hanging. She checked everywhere: the grounds, the lobby, the stage-room, the dining room, the kitchen… He was nowhere.
Walking on the mezzanine, she saw her girlfriend down in the lobby and leaned over the rail to talk. "Hey Vaggie, have you seen Angel?"
"Uh… no?" she answered, feeling a little hesitant as she met Charlie's worried gaze with her tired one. "Why? I thought he was in his room."
"He was before we left," Charlie mused. "But when I knocked on his door, he wasn't there."
"Have you tried texting him?"
"He didn't answer," Charlie pouted, her eyebrows furrowed in worry. "He told me he'd stay around the hotel, but I can't find him anywhere!"
Vaggie's bow shifted into the shape of horns as her temper flared. "¡No manches!"
"I just hope he's OK… He was really tense all the way here and I'm worried he might do something rash."
Vaggie calmed herself as she realized Charlie really was worried, and her getting worked up now was not going to help. As soon as they found him though, she was going to string him up with the rest of the Love Day decorations. It's not like his soulform isn't colored to match. "Don't worry hun, we'll find him. Let's ask Fizz and Niffty; maybe they saw him while cleaning or something."
When Charlie joined her in the lobby, she sighed deeply and leaned into her lover's shoulder. "I was hoping he'd be helping out; I thought it would make him feel better, you know?"
"No amount of work would make that lazy ass-clown feel better," Vaggie grumbled, earning a chuckle.
Walking into the stage-room first, they saw Niffty was helping pull out and hang up streamers while Husk lifted the heavy stuff and handed her things from time to time. "Hey guys!" Charlie greeted. "Have either of you seen Angel?"
"Deja-fuckin'-vu," Husk grumbled, rolling his eyes and continuing to look through boxes without any further acknowledgment.
Charlie just gave him a flat stare, but was quickly diverted by Niffty bounding up to her. "Angel left, like, four hours ago!"
Vaggie just face-palmed. "Great, so the guy bails yet again. Didn't stay long, did he?"
"Do you know where he went?" Charlie asked.
"He mentioned shopping, and he and Fizz carried Eliza off with them!"
Vaggie nearly screamed as she shouted "Are you fucking kidding me?! Those two asshats can't be up to anything good on their own, but together they're- UGH!"
"Hey, hey, calm down Vaggie!" Charlie soothed, putting her hands up to calm the raging moth. "She said Eliza's with them! She'll keep them out of trouble, I'm sure!"
"Those two," Vaggie growled, grinding her teeth, "are an absolute handful at the best of times! Do you actually think she'll even bother keeping them under control? She believes in doing what you want no matter what someone else says!"
Charlie's face fell as she realized her girlfriend was right. "Shit, I actually forgot about that. But Angel's a client, right? As long as he's serious about getting better, isn't she obligated to keep him out of trouble?"
"Well, they did drag her out to have fun," Niffty mentioned. "Maybe they went to buy party dresses! Angel always wears slutty dresses, but maybe he'll pick something more modest this time. I wonder what Eliza looks like in a dress! She looks so pretty in a skirt, although she definitely needs more than one. Do you think she'll pick something colorful? Ooo, I bet she'd look gorgeous in red!"
As the tiny cyclops went on and on about what kind of dresses she hoped they'd pick, Vaggie decided to check and see if Angel posted anything on Voxtagram that might give them an idea of what he's doing. Sure enough, there was a picture of all four of them in a store strutting around in their new clothes.
Specifically, their new underwear.
"Oh…" she muttered, turning dark purple. "They're clothes shopping alright, but um… not for dresses."
Vaggie refused to admit that she was gawking slightly at both Eliza in her lace and Cherri in her torn lingerie as she showed the picture to Charlie, who turned red but giggled. "Well, that's… that's not bad, I guess! I mean, it's just shopping!"
"Let me see!" Niffty demanded, zipping around and trying to find a vantage point over Vaggie's shoulder.
"It's on Voxtagram, Nifft," the moth stated, flatly. "Just check Angel's page."
"Oh, OK!" Niffty then whipped out her phone to take a look.
Then Vaggie squinted her eye as she noticed something. "Wait… this says that the picture was posted hours ago. Why aren't they back yet?"
"Well," Charlie thought out loud, "if they're walking, it might be kind of far away, so it would take a while, right?"
"It doesn't look like it took them long to get there," Vaggie argued, checking the post time again. "If that's the case, they should be back by now!"
"You sound quite down, my dear!" Called a chipper, filtered voice. "Whatever could be the matter? Trouble with the guests again, perhaps?"
They all turned to acknowledge Alastor as he entered the stage room, his arms wide as he greeted them all. Charlie and Niffty both became very excited to see him, and Vaggie just groaned. She's been enjoying his absence, and she had been looking forward to having a party without their resident overlord present. Considering the party is tomorrow, it was likely that he would be there if he was willing to show up today with nothing going on. That realization left the already irritable moth feeling even more testy. Her fuse was getting shorter and shorter by the second.
"Not exactly," Charlie answered, nervously. "Angel and Fizz took Eliza shopping, apparently!"
"Oh?" he inquired, curiously. "What for? WAIT! Don't tell me, let me guess; dresses for the party!"
Niffty giggled as he guessed the same as she had. Then Angel's page finally loaded, and she got a good look at the picture with her huge eye. "Oh, goodness!" she squeaked indignantly. "Someone should talk to Angel about common decency! One should never post a picture of themselves and others in their underwear on the media!"
A sickening crack echoed through the room as Alastor's head tilted too far to one side, a signal line traveling through his eyes. After a moment, he straightened up completely with a static-filled laugh. "Ha! Angel and common decency don't even belong in the same sentence, my dear."
"Still," Niffty huffed, puffing out her cheeks, "it's terribly inappropriate! And poor Eliza's trying to cover up a bit, too! I bet she'll be mad that he posted this. The nerve!"
Alastor's smile twitched as he became nervous. He just knew he was going to see something inappropriate if he left his tower early. Curse his loneliness for driving him out! But then he snapped out of it as he realized something. "She's… embarrassed about being seen in her underwear?"
"Of course she is!" Vaggie growled. "Who wouldn't be? You don't just show the goods to anyone walking by!" Then, clutching her left arm, she thought to herself, 'Not if you have a choice, anyway.'
"You do if you're Angel…" Husk cackled to himself across the room.
Alastor just felt deeply confused. She hadn't even batted an eye when he caught her naked, but showing her underwear is too far? What..? How did..? That doesn't… His eyes began to swirl as logic failed him. "That would make sense for most people, I suppose."
Vaggie cocked an eyebrow at his expression. The guy looked utterly confused. Then she remembered walking into the room and finding her sitting nude and blushed. The therapist hadn't been the slightest bit shy. "Oh, that's right, she's a little… odd… on that."
When the overlord shared a look of understanding with the moth, both looked away feeling a little disturbed. Apparently young Vagatha has also had a run-in with Eliza's complacent attitude on nudity. Of all the times to share common ground, this had to be the least comfortable one he's ever experienced.
The awkward moment was broken by a gasp, and everyone turned to Niffty. She started giggling madly, her eye wide and practically glowing. "Angel just put up a new video! I think you'll like this one, Al!"
"Oh?" he asked, nervous given the previous topic. "And why is that?"
"Because a big black dragon is eating people!"
Everyone went silent for a moment. Everyone except Husk, who meandered over to look over Niffty's shoulder. After a brief, dark chuckle, he shook his head with a grin. "Of all the places… Did he post any pics, kid?"
"Not yet," she answered giddily. "This video just came in!"
"Heheh… That succu-bitch didn't stand a fuckin' chance. Been a while since some crazy monster went ape-shit around here."
"You did say a black dragon, correct?" Alastor asked, his eyes glowing with excitement.
"Tearin' up the place like a goddamn kid on crack," Husk confirmed. "Looks a little tipsy, too. Whatever dumbass got a dragon drunk's my new fuckin' hero."
Alastor glided over to them and bent down to watch just over Niffty's head. In a low tone, he purred, "Show me."
He watched, not even trying to hide his excitement whenever he saw the dragon snap a body part out of the air and swallow it whole. It was true though; she was staggering often, and whenever she jumped it always seemed as though she had no concept of distance, because she kept losing her footing and sliding across the floor. Then there was the difficult task of getting back on her feet, which was amusing to watch.
To most, it would be a chaotic scene of carnage and destruction. To Alastor, it was positively adorable. Like watching a toddler playing with her toys.
"She got DRUNK?!" Vaggie screamed, nearly throwing her phone as she reached the end of the video. "Are you fucking KIDDING ME?!"
"Apparently not," Alastor smiled, wickedly. "If you would be so kind, Niffty dear, could you play that again?"
"Sure thing, Al!" she agreed, pressing play once more.
"Wait, who got drunk?" Husk asked, looking up at Vaggie with his oversized eyebrow raised in confusion.
Before anyone could answer, a ding sounded on both phones, signifying an update on the page and ending Niffty's video replay, much to Alastor's annoyance. Everyone looked down to see a series of pictures. The first was a picture of Cherri flipping off the camera while the dragon played with the bomb in the background like a cat with a ball of string. Another was of Fizz with a flamethrower next to the beast as it went after some poor sod in the background, followed by a picture of the creature turning and biting down on Fizz's arm, causing the flamethrower to explode. The next was of Angel blowing away some pissed-off demon with his tommy guns. The fifth and final one is a picture of Alucard standing on the floor, about to swallow someone's eyeball. Written next to the pictures was, "Angie's passed the fuck out, lol. Coming down off pills, figured I'd post his shit. Had a fucking blast!"
Still thoroughly confused from his unanswered question, Husk gave up on it and asked, "How come there ain't a picture of the shrink in here?"
"Yea," Niffty concurred, "Where's Eliza? Did she get eaten?"
"I assure you both," Alastor answered in a mischievous tone, "that she has most assuredly not been eaten." Then, just for kicks, he added, "Though I doubt she'll have much of an appetite for the rest of the day."
"Wait a god-damned second," Husk growled, squinting down hard at the screen. "That ain't Eliza tearin' down the joint, is it?"
Letting out a dark chuckle that even made his shoulders bounce, Alastor answered, "It most certainly is, and my goodness what a lovely time she's having!" As Vaggie and Charlie started arguing about what to do, he silently added "Destructive" and "Cannibalistic" to her list of favorable traits.
"Well fuck," Husk laughed, "next time she goes out drinkin', I'm goin' too!"
"Me too, me too!" Niffty shrieked excitedly.
"If she lives long enough," Vaggie growled, stomping out with the flustered princess in tow.
"Hm…" Alastor hummed, thoughtfully. It may be the day before his most dreaded holiday, but perhaps it would be best if he found her first. If she happened to still be in her dragon form, then perhaps he would witness some of her destructive power for himself before his fellow managers arrived to ruin the fun. She's always been so frustratingly calm and patient before; he couldn't help but wonder what triggered such a massive change of behavior. Could it really just be the alcohol?
That would be rather disappointingly simple.
Ding.
"Oh, another new picture?" Alastor asked.
"Yup!" Niffty cheered.
This time, the picture was of everyone resting in a dark, unknown location. Eliza was in her normal soulform once more covered by a ragged blanket, Fizz was sitting next to her propped up against the wall with a few sparks escaping the holes in his arm, and Angel Dust was cuddled up to an exhausted looking Cherri Bomb, who was clearly taking a selfie. The text read, "Using Angie's phone, mine's dead. Crashing at my place. Everyone's fucking dead. Awesome party. Keep it real, bitches!"
"A pity," Alastor sighed, standing straight up once more.
"What is?" Niffty asked, looking up at him with that curious, adorable eye of hers.
"That there is no longer a dragon left to find, but a miserable young woman about to experience one excruciating headache!"
"Don't tell me you're gonna go out and-" Husk began.
"-Wouldn't dream of it!" Alastor interrupted, cheerfully. "She's a grown woman, after all! She got herself into this mess, she can get herself out. It's not like she fell into damnation yesterday!"
"That's true!" Niffty giggled. "Gotta learn sometime!"
When Niffty zoomed back to her decorating, Husk just huffed. "Lady must not have a fuckin' social life."
"Pardon?" Alastor asked, turning slightly towards the cat.
"Angel takes her out once," he laughed, "and she goes fuckin' nuts! All prim and proper, then you load her up and she loses her shit like some god-damned PK. Fuckin' nuts."
Cocking an eyebrow, Husk now had the overlord's full attention. "And what is this 'PK' you speak of?"
"'Pastor's Kid'," he explained. "You know, grow up all 'God says it's a sin', then go off on their own for the first time and find out sinnin's actually fun. They lose their fuckin' heads faster than anyone else, I swear."
"A pity she isn't religious, or your comparison might carry some weight!"
Husk just scoffed. "Don't mean nothin' if they were a shit pastor."
Alastor paused, his grin broadening. "...A fair point." Then he turned to Husk with a mischievous smile. "Did you know my mother recommended that I try my hand at religious leadership?"
Husk turned and stared back at him with wide eyes. "You're fuckin' with me."
"Nope!"
The two of them just stared each other down for a moment before they erupted into hysterical laughter.
Cold.
Eliza usually hated sleeping with blankets on; she always overheated, even in life. This time though, she pulled the torn thing around her as tightly as she could, shivering violently. Saying she felt like shit would be a massive understatement as she lay there, plagued with nausea, chills and a pounding in her head that made her want to take a hammer to her temples. Who knows, breaking her skull might be the only way to fix it.
"Ow…" she moaned, and the sound of her own voice made her ears ring. Oh, that's just not fair. And worse yet…
BOOM!
A loud explosion sounded nearby, and the sudden blast sent her reeling in pain. Next to her came another, miserable groan, and Angel's pink head slowly lifted off the ground.
"Tell'em ta fuck off," he groaned, putting his head back down and squeazing his eyes shut against the pain.
BOOM!
"Ah, fuck, I'm up!" he yelled, gripping his hair as though ready to pull it out. "Jesus fuckin' Christ!"
Eliza was holding her head, and Fizz booted up next to her. She didn't remember his mechanical functions being so damn loud! His voice, however, must have volume control, because despite sounding as lively as ever, someone definitely lowered the settings. "W-w-wakey wakey, boss!"
She blinked as she slowly registered the glitchy speech she hadn't heard since she first activated him. "Fizz? Are you OK?"
"B-b-been better, admit-tedly," he answered, his tone fluctuating up and down far more than usual. "W-w-we had a wild n-night."
When she looked over at him, she saw sparks shooting out of his arm. Bright blue sparks that made her wince, but she reached out anyways. "What happened?"
"D-do you rem-m-member much after the w-whiskey?" he asked, cheekily.
There was a pause. "I drank whiskey? Mercy me…"
Even with the volume turned down, his sudden laugh made her flinch. "Y-y-you n-nearly tore my a-a-arm off, boss!"
"Those…" she took a closer look at his arm, squinting in the dim light. "Those are teeth marks."
"Y-yea," he said in a dreamy tone. "You're one s-s-sexy dragon." Her head snapped up to meet his twitching gaze, and suddenly she lost her balance as the room took a nasty spin. She fell on his lap, and he patted her shoulder with his good hand. "Normally I'd b-b-be all for a little h-head, boss, b-but I d-d-don't think this is a g-g-good time."
Then she nearly panicked as she realized something was missing. "Wait, where's Alucard?!"
Fizz chuckled and pointed next to him, where her nasty clothes were piled up. A large, black, fluffed-up bird was quietly snoring. "He's g-good, b-boss. Don't worry, you d-d-didn't eat him. N-not that you'd w-w-want to with him sleeping on those n-nasty things."
She relaxed with a tired groan. "You just had to get me drunk."
"Oh, d-don't give me that," he teased. "Y-y-you had f-f-fun and you know it!"
"I don't remember it," she argued, weakly.
"We have v-video evid-d-dence," he informed her, grinning victoriously. "And b-beautiful pictures! Th-they're on V-V-Voxtagram already; Cherri p-posted them a w-w-while ago!"
Oh, great! Now she was going to get another 'disappointed parent' talk from Charlie. With this headache, she might not bother holding back from lashing out this time around. Maybe it would get the point across that she doesn't like it. Still, she could try brushing up on her blame-game tactics before the inevitable. She could probably escape a more severe punishment, at any rate. "Why didn't you stop her?"
"I w-w-was busy ordering a n-new arm," he answered.
"...Oh."
BOOM!
She curled up on impulse, cradling her head as another wave of pain took hold.
"Aw, fuck me sideways," Angel sighed. "This is Cherri's place, which means that's probably-"
BOOM!
"...I'm gonna kill that snake!" he hissed, getting shakily up onto his feet and summoning two of his tommyguns. "Turf-warrin' ass-snatch has no idea he's got more than Cherri ta worry 'bout!"
When he disappeared outside, Fizz just pulled the blanket over his boss as she started shivering again. "I don't remember chills being a symptom of hangovers, oddly enough."
"They are f-f-for s-some," he informed her, slowly. "Th-though you w-were venting heat l-l-like crazy."
"Did anything melt?" she asked, honestly curious.
He chuckled. "O-only the people you a-a-ate, and I d-don't mean in the g-g-good way."
"What?!" she squeaked, wincing as someone seemed to shove an invisible ice-pick into her eye. "Oh, ow…"
"M-m-might want to k-keep it down," he recommended, teasingly patting her head like a child. "S-save the loud n-n-noises for the bedr-r-room."
"Keep up the attitude," she warned, "and I'll break more of you."
"S-s-so long as I k-keep all my important p-p-parts," he taunted. "D-don't need everything e-else when you can b-b-bounce up top by yourself, a-after all!"
She just groaned. "You're falling apart and glitching and still offering to have sex with me?"
"I'm a n-n-nex-gen model, boss," he reminded her, grinning suggestively. "This ride never s-stops!"
"Sweet mercy," she sighed, giving up and trying to sit up instead. The blasts were still sounding outside, and resting was a lost cause. Even if the sound stopped, she likely couldn't get any sleep with her head pounding like this. Resigned to a miserable fate, she pulled out her phone and looked up her boss' number. She wasn't any less likely to get a talking to from Vaggie than Charlie, so no matter whose number she dialed, someone was going to be yelling at her. With her head pounding. And the explosions outside.
Actually, she should probably help with that somehow, too. Phone call first, though.
She wasn't even two rings in before the call was answered, and she held the phone away from her ear in preparation. Good thing, too. "WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" Vaggie yelled.
It was only then that Eliza realized she didn't have a clue. "Um… Angel said this was Cherri's place. That's the extent of my knowledge."
"How did you get there?" the moth demanded.
Eliza rubbed her forehead with a groan. "I have no idea. I'm sorry, I was passed out at the time."
When another explosion sounded outside and made her wince, there was a pause. "What's going on? Was that an explosion?"
And here comes the misery. "...Yes? I think Cherri's under attack by… someone. Angel called him a snake, I think."
Vaggie swore on the other end of the line. "Well, at least that tells us where you are. Don't move; we're on our way."
When the tell-tale beep told her the call ended, her brows furrowed in confusion. Why would their attacker be a clue to their location? Deciding that sitting and waiting was probably not the best plan, she got up and made her way to the door, looking outside. Not far away, bombarding a small fortified area away from the shelter, was a large ship hovering in the sky.
"Oh, that's why."
'Probably should remember how to talk our way out of trouble while we wait,' Id grumbled as Eliza went back inside to see to Fizz, in case there was something she could do to help him. 'What did we do when we were young, again?'
'Tell the truth,' Superego reminded her, matter-of-factly. 'And bury them with it!'
"Aw, come on, Vags!" Angel shouted, holding an ice pack to his aching head as he laid across the long limousine bench, "It was self-defense, an' last I checked, that ain't a fuckin' sin!"
"But going out, getting drunk and killing people certainly is!" she spat, Charlie almost literally holding the angry woman back.
"You guys could have ended up on TV again," Charlie reminded him. "You're lucky this turf-war didn't end up on the news!"
"What the fuck were you three thinking?!" Vaggie demanded, glaring at the three of them.
"That w-we wanted to have f-f-fun," Fizz stated, cheekily.
"That I didn't want to go in the first place," Eliza muttered to herself, petting a fat and sassy Alucard who was apparently sleeping off a feast of meat and organs from the club they trashed. He rested on the blanket, which was the only covering Eliza had as she was still very unwilling to put on her filthy, vile-smelling clothes.
"Don't gimme that shit," Angel barked. "You had fun too, dammit!"
Oh, Eliza certainly enjoyed herself (at least what little she remembered, anyway), but considering her bosses were in the car listening, she wasn't going to admit a damn thing. "You dragged me out and ignored me when I said I didn't want to go to a club!"
"You agreed to go!" Angel pointed out, accusingly. "We didn't 'drag ya out' ta that one, toots! Ya did that all on yer own!"
"Fizz promised people-watching, not trying to get me drunk!"
"You c-c-could have stopped," Fizz reminded her.
"Yes, you could have," Charlie agreed, folding her arms and giving her that aggravating look of disappointment. "Why didn't you?"
She looked off to the side, making sure to hide her anger behind a façade of embarrassment, though it wasn't entirely forced. Getting drunk at her first real party was rather humiliating. "They tasted really good. It was always easy to say no in life because alcohol tastes so bad, so I never really drank it."
Eliza hid her smile as she felt Vaggie circling the bait. The moth's face fell slightly as she asked, "Wait, you've never really had alcohol before?"
Eliza pressed her index fingers together, shamelessly playing up the guilt. "Or been to a club… Aside from the one Vox took me to." To twist the knife, she hung her head and murmured, "I don't even remember it, but apparently I got talked into whiskey, too."
"H-hey!" Fizz interjected. "Th-that was t-t-to get you out of st-staying and p-p-paying for the drinks."
Eliza's head shot up in surprise, and it took everything she had not to laugh as Fizz gave her the final nail for the coffin. "You offered to pay for the drinks?"
"No, I did," Angel huffed, indignantly. "Ya down a shot o' whiskey, ya get free drinks an' carried back to the hotel."
"No wonder I drank it," she groaned, hiding her face in her hands.
"Why?" Vaggie asked, glaring at Fizz as the pieces started falling into place.
"I always lived on a budget in life," she confessed, sadly. "If I drank as much as I think I did, I wouldn't have been able to resist getting someone else to pay for it all. I'm such an idiot…"
'Don't look to check,' Id hissed as Eliza fought the urge to peek through her fingers. 'Just keep hiding. Make her believe you're ashamed and the rest should fall into place. Charlie might be suspicious, but if there's one thing we can count on with Vaggie…'
"YOU!" the moth snarled, turning on Angel and Fizz in an instant.
'…It's that she'll always blame the men for taking advantage of a woman.'
"Wait, what-" Angel started, but she wasn't done yelling yet.
"You two have more experience with parties!" Vaggie shouted. "You didn't think that maybe she didn't know her limit?! And then to get her whiskey when she was already wasted…"
Angel rolled his eyes. "Bitch, if ya think we're gonna play nice just 'cause it's 'er first time, you're fuckin' nuts! Pullin' out half-way's so unsatisfying!" He gave the moth a suggestive wink.
When Fizz gave a nasty, glitchy snort, Vagatha lost her shit and unloaded all Hell on the two of them. Eliza made a show of trying to sink into her seat, as if wanting to disappear from humiliation. It was too easy to play Vaggie; if Eliza had been a man, this could never have worked. Just for effect, she pulled Alucard up to her chest and nuzzled him, as if hiding her face further. In reality she just wanted to pet him; he looked so cute all fluffed up.
Charlie was too busy trying to keep Vaggie from committing murder to notice, so Eliza relaxed the act a little and watched the chaos for a bit. Then she looked towards the front of the limo and made a mental note of the slightly open glass separator, as well as the music playing over the radio. It was a nice jazzy tune, and it left her feeling more relaxed. Still, she couldn't fight the suspicion that a certain overlord was listening to everything that was happening.
Somehow, that thought made her feel actually embarrassed. Surely he doesn't know about any of this, right? He doesn't use modern technology, so he had no way to check Angel's Voxtagram page, and he should still be hiding away in his tower. But even so, if he doesn't know about it now, he will as soon as he gets back. Someone will blab, she was certain of it.
Oh, he is going to haunt her about this.
Author's Notes:
Man hate, such a reliable and manipulable thing.
Huh, Fanfic says manipulable is misspelled. I'm guessing manipulatable is the correct word, but Google says both are real words. Oh, Grandma, my favorite grammar guru, I wish you were alive to help me. I think technology is lying to me again.
