Author's Notes:
Warning, this chapter gets a little textbook-ish. Lecture from Eliza incoming.
Chapter 41
Types of Attraction
There was no getting out of the holiday now.
Eliza was told to be present the entire day and partake, including the party at the end that she was hoping to avoid. The cooking in the morning wasn't so bad, as the kitchen wasn't decorated much, and honestly the idea of heart-shaped cookies isn't so terrible. After all, it is a holiday. But when everyone was called into the stage-room to listen to Charlie talk about what love is, Eliza could have just face-palmed herself into the void.
Although, maybe she was being a bit harsh. After all, love is a rather deep concept with many layers and facets, not just frilly nonsense that some play it up to be. Friendships, partnerships, romance-
"I want everyone to think of their family for a moment."
Oh right, and that. God damn it!
"Everyone likely has someone in their family they were close to."
Nope.
Eliza tuned out immediately with a deep breath. She may not be able to physically remove herself from the lecture, but she couldn't handle yet another discussion about family. Everyone talking about which parent taught them how to cook, Alastor pushing her to find something positive she learned, and now whether or not there was a positive familial presence in her life. Why was this topic haunting her this week? She couldn't add anything positive to this discussion; she didn't have a positive influence to talk about.
Well, there was one, but he certainly wasn't related to her, and old age caught up to him after a few years. Maybe she'll just think of him; it was the only way she could stay in her seat. Or keep from freezing the table and Angel's left elbow, right forearm and chest fur to it as the spider held his head up with a bored expression.
"For some of us," Charlie continued, oblivious to the therapist's darkening eyes and closed-off rose, "it's one of our parents, but I know that's not true for everyone. I want all of you to focus on that person, and when I call on you, just give a quick answer or, if you feel comfortable enough, give a short description of the person."
When Eliza heard a soft crackle, she could almost curse Alastor for showing up and drawing her out of her distant thoughts; she did not want to be mentally present for this. Still, she looked over at him in surprise, as she hadn't expected him to be here today. Dressed in a much nicer suit than his usual worn red-pinstripe favorite, his suit coat was bright red with a black shirt underneath, black pants, red and black dress shoes and a red top-hat with a black band. He flared out his coat-tail as he took a seat next to Vaggie, his eyes squinting gleefully as the young woman huffed in annoyance. Turning to meet Eliza's gaze, he tilted his hat in greeting.
He was a bit miffed when he received nothing more than a curt nod in return before she returned her narrowed eyes to the stage.
"Hey Al!" Charlie greeted, and he gave her a sweet smile. "Why don't you start things off? Tell us what family member you were closest to! You can talk about them a little too, but only if you're comfortable."
Well, at least he now knew why Eliza was in a foul mood.
"My mother," he stated, simply.
When Charlie realized he wasn't going to talk further on the subject, she moved on to Vaggie.
"My mother," the moth replied, confidently. "She had a temper, but she cared about us. She gave up a lot to make sure we had what we needed to grow up healthy, and I… did what I had to to help."
When Lakavi was called, she looked off to the side with a glare. "My brother, stuffy little shit that he was…"
"My Pa," Matiu shouted next, not bothering to wait to be called out.
From there, Charlie just called everyone out. Harve talked about his hopelessly naïve sister he took care of, Curio mentioned his uncle, Paressu only had his dad growing up, and Erpa grew up with her grandparents because her actual parents were constantly thrown back in rehab. Husk, who was seated with Niffty at the table next to Eliza's, answered his mother and plugged his mouth with a bottle, and Niffty said she was close to her older sister.
Finally they reached Eliza's table, and Angel was called out first. "My ma an' my sis. The ladies in my family were the only ones worth a damn."
"Alright, Eliza-" Charlie froze as she met a wall of inky black in Eliza's eyes. The therapist was glaring at her, as if daring her to continue. "Heh, it's, um, your turn now!"
"No."
Charlie actually recoiled slightly, surprised at such an adamant refusal. After a moment of silence she added, "OK, well… if you can't think of a member of your family, it can be someone else! Someone who was like family! How about that?"
Eliza looked pensive for a moment, and Alastor's gaze was trained on her every movement. Whenever they discussed family, she always closed off to him, but he never thought to ask if there was someone else of equal importance. Finally, after a very awkward span of silence, she gave her answer.
"Mr. Hayashida."
Husk paused his drinking to turn and look. While not someone he knew, he did know a Japanese name when he heard it, and it was more than a little unexpected.
"And he was..?" Charlie asked hesitantly, motioning with her hands for the pale demoness to finish the statement.
"My caretaker for four years."
"OK!" Charlie cheered, continuing past the awkward moment with all the willpower she possessed. "So, as we can see, not everyone is close to their family…"
Eliza could have laughed at that statement if she weren't utterly pissed right now. She was about ready to tell her bosses to go to… Well, they're in Hell, so maybe she'll go the South Park route and tell them to visit Detroit.
It is technically south of Hell, Michigan. Maybe that's more than just a coincidence.
"Hey, ya good, Eliza?" Angel asked, glancing over at her and cocking an eyebrow. "Got a lil' chilly there, ya know. What's all that about, anyway?"
At first, Eliza didn't answer as she still felt a bit raw. Honestly, she didn't want to unload on Angel; they only just became friends, and there was still that professional wall. Still, she felt the need to say something, if only to get him to shift his focus back to Charlie's uncomfortable lecture. "I only knew my parents, and neither of them is worth knowing. Just… leave it at that, OK?"
"Yea, makes me think o' Pops," Angel said with a grimace. "Ma deserved way better than that old coot. But seriously; both o' yours were bad? That fuckin' sucks."
Thankfully, the spider dropped the subject, leaning back in his chair with his legs propped up on the table and looking like he was about to fall asleep. Eliza gave a small smile; it felt nice to have someone who cared but didn't pry.
As for Alastor, he was busy glaring at the porn star, thankful that the tables were metal so that he couldn't dig grooves into them with his claws. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but he could tell that the perverted arachnid got her to say something important. Months he spent with their sessions, talking about anything (though in the end, most of it was nothing truly deep, important or secretive about himself), and the guy only just became friends with her and got her to open up about something.
Her unwillingness to share details of her life has always been frustrating, but it wasn't until that moment that he realized how frustrated he truly was. Why must she be so difficult?
Still, she had shared something, albeit with the entire group. Mr. Hayashida… It certainly didn't sound American. Perhaps he'd ask Husk if it was a language he knew. But who was this man, and why was he the only person she could say was even close to family?
It left Alastor thinking of his own little makeshift family. Niffty, his adorable little maid, who sometimes felt less like a servant and more like an orphan he adopted off the streets. He often gave them food and shelter during the Depression if they found their way to his door, but he never attached to them the way he did her. That adorable eye of hers lets her get away with far more than most. Husk, despite having a drinking problem that put his father's to shame, was like an older brother that he could manipulate into doing whatever he wished, only complaining if Alastor pulled him away from a gambling table or a really good drink. Mimzy could be considered a younger sister if she would just give up her flirtatious advances. He did feel rather protective of the little performer, which was a trait every older brother should have. Finally there was Rosie, who often made him wonder what it would have really been like to have an older sister. Despite their initial meeting nearly resulting in his early demise, she took him under her wing and taught him the ways of his new afterlife. Eventually, after claiming a higher position in Hell through death and destruction, he became the primary financial patron of the Cannibal Colony, which was a shadow of its current glory. It was the only 'turf' he cared to own, and he made sure his fellow cannibals were taken care of.
He wondered where Eliza would fit in his little circle, if he could convince her to join it.
When Charlie finally moved on from the subject of family, Eliza started to relax again. Friendship was the next topic of choice, and while she could think of a few reasons why she should feel uncomfortable here as well, it certainly wasn't enough for her to lose her temper again. If anything, Charlie seemed to be doing rather well with this shift, talking about how a friend is supposed to be supportive and accepting, but they don't need to agree with everything you say, and as their friend, you should listen in return. It was a good, healthy take on friendships, and for a brief moment she actually had most everyone's attention.
Before she quickly lost it once again.
"Then there's romance," Charlie said, dreamily. "That feeling of butterflies in your stomach whenever you're with that special someone!"
And she was taking the 'frilly nonsense' approach. Eliza fought the urge to laugh as she watched the crowd quickly grow bored. A few pulled out their phones, a couple daydreamed, Angel closed his eyes, and someone on the other side of the room started to snore.
Charlie just gave an annoyed stare as everyone's attention was lost. Vaggie was glaring around the room, Alastor was holding his head up with his right hand as he waited to see what she would do, and everyone else ignored the fact that the lecture went into a lull.
Eliza quietly made her way to the side of the room with no announcement, walking up the stairs and onto the stage. She may not be very happy with her boss, but leaving her hanging was starting to get painful. Things went from promising to pathetic in an instant.
"I know not everyone has met that someone yet," Charlie continued, trying to work past the fact that everyone seemed to disconnect all at once, "but just because you died and fell down here doesn't mean the search has to stop!"
Alastor grimaced. He wasn't sure what Eliza was up to as she searched through the options on the summoning pad, but he didn't like where Charlie was going with this. He had heard it so many times in life; that he just never found the right woman. No one could just accept his disinterest, and he always found himself being propositioned to marry someone's daughter, only to be accused of being a queer or, his personal favorite, impotent when he refused. In some ways he wished he was impotent; then it would act on its own and aggravate him at odd times. It wasn't until he overheard his mother say that she wanted grandchildren that he actually attempted courtship, but even then he found himself unable to give her that. Perhaps he could have learned to stomach the act of sex over time, but he never felt that he could share his full self with any of the women he dated, not to mention the fact that they were all so incredibly dull. Even after she died he tried a couple more times, thinking that maybe it would help her soul be at peace if he started a family. But now that he's in Hell, where sinners can't have children at all, any interest he had in the subject was abandoned.
Suddenly, a loud smack pulled him out of his thoughts, and everyone looked up at the stage to see Eliza holding an extended metal rod in her hands, having just smacked it into her palm. She looked just as surprised as everyone else for a moment, as she hadn't expected her scales to sound so loud against metal. Something to remember.
"Perhaps," she began, walking up next to Charlie with her professional aura back and at full power, "we should take a more grounded approach to romance?"
Phones were put away, and while not everyone looked entirely engaged, she quickly noticed the smirk spreading across Angel's face. "Hey, ain't that rod from the-"
"Not all things," she interrupted, pointing the rod at him, "need to have an exclusively perverted use."
"Ya looked at the otha options, didn't ya?"
"Angel…" she drawled in annoyance.
He put his hands up with a snicker. "Whateva ya say, toots."
"Eliza," she corrected, though there was no anger or frustration in her tone. "You may consider this an official therapy lecture, thank you very much."
"Yes ma'am," Lakavi purred, and Matiu bristled slightly.
Eliza watched the beginnings of jealousy curiously and wondered when the mongoose started taking their relationship seriously. It irritated her that she missed such a crucial change, and she made a mental note to monitor them more closely. Then her attention returned to the task at hand. "With your permission, perhaps I could add to this lesson on relationships?"
"Um… sure!" Charlie agreed after a moment, giving her the stage and sitting next to her girlfriend excitedly, though the moth raised an eyebrow.
"What are you going to talk about?" Vaggie asked, her tone suspicious.
"While I know that my boss has rebranded the holiday for wholesome reasons," she answered, "I do believe we could have a discussion that bridges the new holiday with the original."
Alastor made a small sound of discomfort in the back of his throat; that statement did not bode well for him.
"As the original holiday is solely about lust, I would like to discuss the concept of attractions, and how they affect both romantic and platonic relationships. I assume that everyone here is familiar with the concept of sexual attraction, barring the disinterested parties."
Hoots and hollers sounded off, and Angel Dust screamed "Fuck yea!" This earned him a glare from Vaggie, but he didn't pay any attention to her at all.
"While I would agree that sexual attraction is necessary for most romantic relationships," she continued, "I would also like to stress that sexless romance, which includes relationships with highly infrequent sexual interraction, is entirely possible."
"Bullshit!" Matiu shouted.
"Yea!" Lakavi agreed.
"I should also like to stress that, if a romantic relationship is solely based on sexual attraction, it has a tendency to quickly crumble."
"K, so… what? We gotta be all lovey-dovey an' shit?" Angel asked.
"No," Eliza replied, calmly. "It is also possible for a romantic relationship to thrive in spite of limited romantic interaction. While there are many studies on how to make a relationship work, such as Gottman's seven principles, secure vs. anxious/avoidant relationships, love languages and more, I would like to discuss the base reason for why all relationships, even platonic ones, tend to start; whatever form of attraction caused you to look at that person and decide that they were someone you want to get to know."
"Now, romantic and sexual attraction are needed to start an exclusive relationship, but as the more recently deceased probably know, there are open marriages to take care of differences in libido, and the term 'friends with benefits' takes the romance out of a sexual relationship. Both have drawbacks if clear communication isn't present, of course, as an open marriage can lead to jealousy if the less active partner discovers they don't enjoy sharing their spouse, and platonic sex can lead to romantic feelings in one partner but not the other. However, there are actually four other forms of attraction that should be addressed. First: Physical attraction."
"Yea, it's called wantin' ta fuck it!" Matiu interrupted, making everyone laugh.
"Also known as sensual attraction," Eliza informed them, "this is a form of platonic attraction to non-sexual physical interraction."
"Where's the fun in that?" Paressu chuckled.
"Some desire to be touched with no desire to move forward with anything sexual. This can include cuddling, having someone run their fingers through your hair, massage and so on. It is a form of comfort; a desire to be physically cared for. Then there is aesthetic attraction, or finding someone physically appealing."
"OK, now I know you're makin' this shit up," Matiu grunted.
"Angel," Eliza called out, making the spider jump as he was put on the spot, "are you familiar with the name Helen Forrest? Major female singer in the thirties and forties, known by some as the best female vocalist in the swing era?"
"Yea, she was awesome!" Angel confirmed. "What about 'er?"
"Would you say she was physically appealing?"
"Yea; bitch was rockin' it!"
"Would you sleep with her?"
Angel tsked. "I charge extra for chicks for a reason, ya know. Ain't really my thing."
Then Alastor nearly flinched as she pointed that metal rod in his direction. "Alastor, would you say Rosie is a beautiful woman?"
"The picture of elegance," he agreed, cheerfully.
"Any sexual inclinations?"
"None whatsoever."
"I would also like to mention," Eliza continued, giving Alastor a knowing look that made him nervous, "that while Alastor is known for being more respectful of women than men, he is particularly polite to more well-mannered, properly dressed women that remind him of his time, rather than the more inappropriate, modern appearance of women. This is a form of aesthetic attraction, and has nothing to do with any sexual interest."
Alastor let out the breath he had been holding. He really thought that was going to go left field in an instant. Still, he never thought of it as a form of attraction, but after that explanation he couldn't deny it made sense.
Eliza looked down at Matiu with slightly narrowed eyes. "Will there continue to be interruptions?"
He just grumbled, "No," under his breath.
"Excellent!" she said, cheerfully returning to her on-the-spot lecture. "Now, where was I… Physical, aesthetic… Oh yes! Emotional attraction. This is where you experience a feeling of emotional openness with another person. With this comes a connection that allows you to feel comfortable discussing your feelings, listening to their feelings, and have open social intercourse about thoughts and experiences." She knew what she said, and the immature snickering in the crowd came as no surprise. If anything, she made a mental note of it. As long as they reacted to innuendos, intentional or not, that meant they were listening.
Alastor, however, was too distracted to note the double meaning as he glanced side-long at Angel, who was far more engaged now than he had been previously. Emotional connections… Is that why this obnoxious arachnid was able to get her to talk about something so uncomfortable? Did they possess a connection he hadn't been aware of? Their friendship has only just begun! Unless their professional relationship had somehow jumpstarted that process.
He looked down at his claws thoughtfully. He knew he didn't feel emotions the same way those around him did; it was obvious even as a child. Did that put him at a disadvantage? His mother was the closest to understanding him in life, and no one else has come as close since. Except maybe Rosie, but with her aura-reading capabilities, it felt more like cheating than actual understanding. Still, it made her one of the two people in his existence he could discuss things with more easily than most, and she was privy to details he kept from everyone else. But even with her he had his secrets, and neither of them cared to pry, only sharing with each other when in need of an outside perspective. There was always an understanding there; that there were things the other would never know, and they were content with it.
Would that have to be different with Eliza? That made for a very distressing thought. What was more distressing was the idea that sharing his secrets to learn hers felt strangely exciting.
Eliza was reaching the end of her lecture. "Finally, there's intellectual attraction. Are any of the more recently deceased familiar with a show called 'The Big Bang Theory?'" After a couple sounds of acknowledgment, she continued. "Sheldon and Amy are the greatest example of intellectual attraction I have ever seen. Everything started with the two of them gravitating to each other due to them being two of the most intelligent young adults on the show; geniuses in their own rites. Sheldon was more emotionally disconnected than most, having a very difficult time understanding deeper thoughts and meanings, and couldn't read the room to save his life. Amy possessed a better understanding than he did, and was very patient with his slow ability to connect with her on a deeper level, never giving up despite how oblivious the man was. In the end, they got married, which resulted in the show's conclusion."
"But, obviously, not all intellectual attraction bears such results. This is being drawn to someone who can discuss different topics with you, admiration for the way they think, and the challenge that person presents to your beliefs. Some believe that intelligence is top priority in a potential partner, while others simply crave intellectual stimulation." More snickering in the crowd validated her choice of words once again.
"These are the six forms of attraction. Let's recap; sexual, romantic, physical, aesthetic, emotional and intellectual. All forms of relationships outside of the familial category usually start with one of these, and there are many things necessary to keep a relationship healthy. If we're talking exclusive relationships, I would say that both romantic and sexual attractions are required, using intimacy to fill in the gaps should one crave romance or sex more than their partner. However, if you actually want to keep the relationship open and healthy long-term, I would recommend having an intimate relationship that features two of the four platonic attractions as a base."
"What's the fuckin' point?" Matiu asked.
"Aside from the possibility of being erased, we're around for eternity past this point," Eliza explained. "Unless you and you're partner are highly romantically and/or sexually active all the time, these feelings are likely to either fade or start to feel repetitive and mundane. Romantic and sexual intensity are both based on passion, and passion dulls over time. The other four have little to do with passion and more with a desire for comfort, understanding and connection. Therefore, they are more substantial in the long-run."
Alastor then had a strange thought that had never occurred to him before. What possessed him to voice it, however, he could not say. "Could an exclusive relationship exist with the four platonic attractions alone?"
Everyone scoffed or snickered, and the only other person in the room who truly took that question completely seriously tapped her chin with the rod, thoughtfully. "Only under three conditions could that possibly work."
Well, he already started, he may as well see it through. "And those would be?" he pressed, curiously.
"The first is that both parties would have to be equally disinterested in romance and sex, or else one is likely to stray to make up for what the relationship lacks. Second, both would have to feel all four attractions and be satisfied with the connection they provide. Three, both would have to benefit somehow from an exclusive relationship, or else they could pursue something more like a queerplatonic relationship, where a deep connection exists between two people that extends beyond a typical friendship, but never breaches into something romantic or sexual."
"So it's difficult, but not impossible?"
Eliza shook her head after a moment of thoughtful silence. "I would not recommend trying."
The overlord tilted his head. "Why?"
"Because if feelings develop in one partner but not the other, it is likely to ruin the most meaningful relationship either party has ever experienced and leave both individuals deeply scarred in regards to all relationships, not just exclusive ones. In short, the risk is greater than the reward could ever be. Sometimes it's best to hold on to a deep platonic relationship than risk destroying it with romantic inclinations."
As she continued to answer questions from the crowd before eventually giving the stage back to Charlie, Alastor considered her reasoning. He agreed that risking an already enjoyable friendship was not desirable, but her words implied something else in his mind. Was the whole reason she never voiced any attraction to him because she didn't want to lose what they had? Were the feelings Rosie claimed Eliza had simply buried to keep him around? If they remained friends long enough, would she eventually act on them?
This could become very problematic very quickly. He already enjoyed the friendship they had, but what if it got deeper? He couldn't deny the possibility. What if he leaks secrets to her in the hopes of learning more of hers? Then there was a risk that, if she decided to pursue him and he rejected her, she would turn against him. Was this all some form of manipulation, or was it genuine?
Despite his smile, he knew his nerves would show if he remained, so he made a show of looking bored and made his way to the door. In truth, he had no idea what Charlie was talking about anymore, and he felt no inclination to figure it out. He needed to retreat immediately to his study to think. Once outside the room he teleported to his office. There was still time before the party, and so he took a seat and mulled over his options.
He used to take risks during his early afterlife, but decades have taught him patience, and he knew to be wary of any potential threats. As much as he liked to project otherwise, he knows he's not invincible. Before he acted on anything, he needed to evaluate the situation.
The soul contract was the optimal outcome, but even if she refused, the friendship could continue, and it would keep her under his watchful eye. He wanted to say he could keep his distance; that he could maintain what they had without risking any deeper involvement. But as he thought about her lecture, he became anxious.
He lacked the romantic and sexual attraction, and had no craving for sensual. But what of the other three? Was wanting to know and understand her emotional attraction? He had approached her easily, and her disposition and mannerisms made it a simple matter to be polite and respectful, as well as making her approachable for him. By her definition, that was aesthetic attraction. Finally there was the intellectual, and he could not deny that he found her thoughts and ideas helpful, fascinating and compelling, even when they troubled him. No matter what, there was a risk that something would draw him back to her. Something that drew him to her the day she arrived, and made him want her to remain at the hotel.
No, he was already invested in her, there was no denying that. If he wasn't, it wouldn't have pained him to nearly lose her to his rival. There are very few in existence whose loss would affect him that way, and in less than a year, she had become one of them. This connection was either a seedling worth cultivating, or a festering wound in need of immediate action. She entertained him, excited him, made him curious and left him contemplating strange things that he never would on his own. But most of all, she felt… comfortable. A presence he not only enjoyed, but wanted to be around.
That was dangerous, and that thought left him wondering if it was worth risking letting this continue to see what it would become, or if he should burn out the infection before it was too late.
Author's Notes:
I think I'm going to abandon my Saturday schedule and just post a chapter once I believe it's done. It's not like I can reliably keep a weekly schedule anymore, anyways.
Oh, and before anyone says it: Yes, I purposefully left out the idea that an Ace can be in an exclusive relationship. Aside from the obvious limitations due to being in Hell, Eliza's viewpoint will come into play later. No one said she's perfect, lol.
