Series: Snapshots of the Past
Story: Crossroads
Chapter 13
Disclaimer: The characters depicted in this story belong to NBC, WB, Aaron Sorkin, and John Wells. We're just borrowing them for some fun :)
Previously: Abbey woke up and met her new granddaughter
Summary: Abbey makes an important decision about her career; Abbey returns home to a family celebration; Liz struggles
Abbey rolled to her side, but it was no use. Hospital beds were never comfortable. She couldn't count the number of times she'd examined patients in this hospital, even this very room, and yet she never quite understood the discomfort as days turned into weeks in a hospital bed. She'd been there now a solid 12 days and she'd been told she'd be discharged today. But she'd have to wait until late-morning rounds to get the confirmation.
In the meantime, she stared out the window at the first streaks of sunrise over downtown Manchester. It looked like clouds rolling in. She didn't know the temperature outside; it looked cold. Spring was inconsistent in New Hampshire. Snowy weather often extended beyond the winter months. It wasn't unusual to have an April snowstorm. Some years, though it was rare, even May had a snow shower or two. She wondered if that might happen today and if the girls were preparing for a frolic in the snow after school. Were they even back in school? She knew they'd taken a few days off, but were they returning today? How were Lizzie and Annie?
She was lost in her thoughts as she heard a knock at the door and looked up with anticipation. "Jed?"
Enthusiasm quickly gave way to disappointment.
"How'd I know you'd be up?" Rob smiled at her.
"Hello," Abbey replied coolly.
"I came by to see how you were doing."
She opened her mouth, but paused before the words came out. She may have been injured and on pain medication, but she wasn't disinhibited. A blessing and a curse at the same time, she thought. "I can't wait to leave."
"Hopefully soon," he said. "I want you to take as long as you need."
"As long as I need?"
"To come back to work."
"Rob..." Abbey shook her head and sat up in bed.
"There's no rush," he interrupted. "You can come back whenever you feel ready."
Rob was a friend, a mentor. But she knew that wasn't the only his only role. He was also her boss and he was working his way up ladder of hospital leadership. So when Alex made accusations of their affair and said Abbey had been inappropriate toward male residents, he had to take it seriously. He'd sat there and questioned her and he relieved her of her teaching duties, all based on a lie that he should have been able to see through, she told herself. She felt betrayed by him and wondered if she'd ever trust him again or want to continue any kind of friendship.
It took her several minutes to build up her courage and when she did, she finally said, "I don't know if I am coming back, Rob."
"What?" He knew this would be hard. He realized the toll the accusations took on Abbey. She hadn't yet processed it, he reasoned.
"I'm not sure I'm ever coming back to Manchester Memorial Hospital."
He couldn't accept that, not from Abbey. She was too smart, too gifted. The patients needed her. What's more, he needed her. "What are you talking about? Of course you're coming back."
"I have a lot to think about."
"Abbey, I understand why you'd be concerned, but if there are any deficits, rehab can..."
"Deficits?" After all she'd been through, he thought her concern was deficits in her mental or physical ability to do her job. "You think I'm worried I'm not up to the task?"
"I don't know where this is coming from."
"And that's part of the problem."
"Ok," he said, unsure where she was going with that. "Alex resigned."
"I know."
"And if he hadn't, I would have terminated him. He admitted everything." Abbey bowed her head as he spoke. "I filed a formal complaint with the New Hampshire medical board for what he did, the assault, the lies to me, to HR, to leadership. He's gone. He's not coming back. You have nothing to worry about."
"I'm not worried about Alex."
"Then what?"
"You want to know?"
"I do."
"Fine." She didn't want to have this confrontation now, but he pushed and she wasn't going to back down or sugar coat it. In that moment, all the frustrations of the last few months came out. "I give my all to this hospital, day in and day out. I work in excess of 70 hours a week most weeks. I take call more than anyone else in the department except the residents. That's time I could have been spending with my family. I've missed cheerleading competitions, soccer games, science fairs, school plays. I was on call for three straight Christmas Eves when my girls were little to the point that on that fourth Christmas Eve, Ellie whispered to her sister that she was so excited to teach Mom about Midnight Mass."
"Abbey..."
"I cover for colleagues, I cover for residents, I've even covered for you now and then."
"You're an incredible asset."
"Yes, I am." She'd never said that out loud before. In the course of learning to be humble throughout her medical training, she'd also learned to never remind her boss of her value. It wouldn't go over well, she'd been told.
"Yes, you are," he agreed.
"I give everything I have and when I was the one who needed help, this hospital, and you, turned your back."
"I didn't turn my back and neither did the hospital. You know how much I value you, as a doctor and as a friend. But I couldn't let our friendship get in the way of doing my job, Abbey." Abbey shook her head. "And my job was to investigate the claims. Alex made some very serious accusations. If I'd just swept it under the rug and let it go, it wouldn't have played out well for either one of us. You know that."
"You did what you had to do."
"Exactly."
"And now I'm doing what I have to do."
"Which is what? Leaving medicine? That's crazy!"
"Who said anything about leaving medicine? This isn't the only hospital in town, Rob."
Rob paced to the other side of the room as he waited for that to sink in. He continued in a softer tone, "You signed a noncompete, Abbey. You can't work for another hospital in town."
"Are you going to sue me? Because I am prepared if you do."
"I don't make those kinds of decisions, you know that. But I don't know what the hospital leadership will say or do."
"Let them do whatever they want. I'm not going to cower to an arbitrary restriction that will likely be thrown out of court. And more importantly, I'm not going to continue to sacrifice my own wants and needs and those of my family's for a job. That's what this is. It's a job, for an institution that doesn't give a damn who does the work or how much they suffer for doing it, as long as it gets done and the big wigs reap the rewards."
"Abbey, come on, this doesn't even sound like you."
"It is me, Rob."
"Have you told Jed?" he asked, knowing that the only person who could reason with her now was her husband.
"My husband doesn't tell me what to do."
"I know that. That's not what I meant."
Abbey didn't answer. She just glared at him. "I'm finished talking about it. Please leave."
Rob was stunned by the coldness in her eyes and in her voice. He'd known Abbey Bartlet a long time and he'd never seen that look before. He took a few steps back, his stare still on his friend, until he approached the door. He turned then and just as he disappeared out of the room, he saw Jed carrying a bouquet of flowers. The two men acknowledged one another, but neither said a word as Rob wandered away.
Jed took a breath and entered Abbey's room. "Hey."
"Hey."
He shrugged. "Looks like my timing was off."
"You heard that?"
"Just the end."
"I don't want to talk about it."
She didn't want to talk about it? She just quit her job and she didn't want to discuss it with him? He wanted desperately to talk about it, to talk her out of it and convince her that while she had reason to be upset with the hospital - and with Rob - she needed time to recover from both her physical and emotional wounds before making any life-altering decisions.
But he was on shaky footing. Everything she said to Rob applied to him too and he wasn't oblivious to that. He also reacted badly when he found out about Alex. He loved her and tried to support her, but his words and actions were colored by his own insecurities and the doubt that gnawed at him that maybe somehow, some way, Abbey had led Alex on. He knew now what an idiot he'd been, but he was in no position to question her on this topic. At least not without getting the same treatment as Rob.
"Ok," he said as he handed her the flowers. "How are you feeling? How's the pain?"
"Better." She smelled the beautiful roses he gave her. "Especially now that you're here, hopefully to take me home. I'm starting to feel more claustrophobic every day that goes by."
"Sure," he said with a pause just long enough for her to sit up and start to swing her legs over the edge of the bed. "Just as soon as your doctor gives the green light."
"I'm a doctor. I'm giving the green light."
He may have ignored the battle a second before, but he was prepared to fight her on this one. "Not now you're not. Right now, you're a patient. And you're also my wife and I'm not risking your health just because you want to go home."
"I'm an adult. I'm allowed to check myself out of the hospital."
She dropped her feet to the floor in an effort to stand. Her movement restricted by discomfort in her ribs. She tried to hide it and even curled her lip to prevent from moaning or screaming out in pain, but she didn't fool him. Jed put his hand on her shoulder.
"Hey, hey, hey, no kidding, Abbey. You're going to hurt yourself. Please just wait for the doctor."
"He's not going to tell me anything I don't already know. I'm ready for discharge, Jed. Whether we do it now or later, that isn't going to change."
"Well then, I prefer later, ok?" he said. "Please? Stay for me?"
With a defeated sigh, Abbey leaned back into bed as Jed helped her. "Fine."
"Thank you." He pulled the sheet over her legs and helped her get comfortable before giving her a kiss.
"How's Lizzie?"
"She's fine. Annie is so beautiful, Abbey. She can't wait to see her Grandma."
She furrowed her brows. "What did I tell you about that word?"
Jed chuckled. "I'm just pissing you off all over the place, aren't I?"
"As a matter of fact, you are."
"I'm okay with that."
"Jackass," Abbey muttered just loud enough for him to hear.
"Yes, I am." He fluffed her pillow. "Comfortable?"
"As comfortable as I'm going to be."
He sat on the edge of her bed then and took her hand. "I love you."
"And yet, you won't take me home," she teased.
"No, I'm serious. I really love you."
"Jed, what's wrong?"
"Abbey, I owe you a huge apology. I was going to talk to you about this once we were back home, but your conversation with Rob just...well, it convinced me it can't wait."
"My conversation with Rob had nothing to do with you."
"I don't know if that's true," he said.
"It is."
"I am so sorry for all the flak I gave you about Alex and what he did."
"Jed, I'm going to say it again: my feelings about Rob have nothing to do with you."
"I get that. I do. But I reacted no better than he did. And my behavior was worse because I'm your husband. I'm the one who should have supported you, no matter what."
"You did support me. You were right there telling me to fight this. You believed me." She took a beat and asked a question that scared her. "Didn't you?"
"Yes, yes, of course I believed you."
"Ok, then stop. I made some mistakes too."
"I just want you to know if I'm in the doghouse for a while, I know I deserve it."
"Can I get that in writing?"
He laughed as he leaned in for another kiss. "Anything you want."
"Hmm, I could get used to this."
"I mean it. Now's the time to ask for whatever you want. Seeing you in that bed, I was so afraid I'd never get to tell you these things. I was so afraid I'd lose you."
She squeezed his hand. "You didn't. I'm here and I'm going to be here for a very long time. You want to know what I really want right now?"
"I do."
"For us to go home, forget this whole nightmare and move on with our lives. How about that?"
"You got it."
"And also..." She paused to pique his interest and then, "I love you too, Jethro."
"Don't call me that."
"What happened to embracing the doghouse?"
They stared at each other, leaned in with hands entwined, eyes glued to one another in a silent connection strengthened by 20 years of love.
It lasted only minutes before Detective Johnson knocked and entered the room.
"Congressman. Dr. Bartlet. Sorry to interrupt."
"Derek, it's Jed and Abbey," Jed corrected him. "What do you know?"
"Not as much as I'd like, but we are making progress. We haven't identified the driver yet, but we've managed to rule out a lot of people."
"Who?"
"Well, anyone who's sent you death threats or highly critical letters, your political adversaries, Dr. Bartlet's - Abbey's - colleague, and any patient who ever filed a complaint or malpractice suit against her. We even looked into the families of the patients she's lost, wondering if any of them were harboring a grudge. All clean."
"So it really was random?"
"Most likely yes..."
"Most likely?"
"We've started looking at your daughter's associates."
Jed and Abbey exchanged a glance at that news.
"Elizabeth?"
"Yes, sir."
"That's crazy." Jed's objection was more inquisitive than angry. "She's 19 years old. She doesn't have any enemies. Anyway, it was my car that was hit, driven by my wife. How would anyone know our daughter was a passenger?"
"I'm not saying they did. We don't know. Most likely, this was just a random drunk driver or someone who sped through a stop sign and panicked after the collision so they left."
"Then why are you investigating Elizabeth?"
"It's not Elizabeth we're investigating. But in order to rule out a targeted accident, we have to look at her associates."
"She's doesn't have 'associates' for crying out loud. She's a child." His frustration was starting to show and he looked over at his wife, concerned that she had been silent thus far.
"Poor choice of words. But with all due respect, Jed, she's a married woman. We have to look at her husband, her friends, and yes, any enemies she may have."
"Okay look, her husband's a dolt, no question about that. But he'd never do something like this. For one, he was with me all night. And second, he's never hurt my daughter like that. I never would have allowed him to marry her if there was any violence in that relationship."
"Well, that's exactly what I was going to ask you. He's never been abusive toward her? Hit her? Humiliated her on purpose?"
"NO! Did she say he has done those things?"
"No, she vehemently denied it."
"Well then it's not true." Jed looked at Abbey. "Abbey? Do you want to say something?"
Abbey curled her lip, then softly said, "I haven't seen him do anything like that."
"Ok," the Detective replied. "That helps."
That wasn't good enough for Jed. "Why is Doug Westin on your radar? Has he been in trouble before? Why did you suspect he was abusive? What don't we know?"
"Nothing. It was just something I picked up when I spoke with your daughter."
"Like what?"
"Well, she just seemed very nervous and distracted. I thought maybe she was covering something up, maybe for him."
"If she seemed nervous and distracted, maybe it has something to do with the significant trauma she just experienced."
"Yes, that's probably it, but I had to be sure. Don't read anything into what I'm asking. These are standard questions, the same ones we asked you by the way."
"I remember."
"Ordinarily, we'd assume the driver was someone who hit the car and fled to avoid arrest. But we couldn't make that assumption in this case because of what you do, Jed."
"But there's no connection?"
"None we can find. We had to do our due diligence to rule out anything more sinister, however unlikely it was. At this point, I think it's safe to say I'm almost certain this was a random accident with a hit and run driver and nothing more."
"Ok. I'm sorry if I overreacted. It's just when it comes to my children..."
"I understand. One other thing I wanted to mention is the paper had a blurb about the hit and run that came from the police blotter."
Abbey felt her muscles tense immediately. She hated that the media was always in their lives. "They did?"
"They didn't have names," Jed quickly told her before he turned his attention back to the Detective. "They still don't, right?"
"No, they don't, but I'm not sure how long I can guarantee that. The reason they didn't have a name is because we didn't have a positive ID at the time of the collision and we weren't exactly quick to update our records. Usually, within a day or two, the media moves on to another big story."
"But?"
"There's a reporter circling back to this one. They're going to find out who the occupants of the car were. If you'd like me to go ahead and release it..."
"No!" Just the thought of it made Abbey's stomach turn. No one had a right to know the private hell she and her family had been through.
"It might help get the story out so that if anyone knows anything or saw anything...it could help identify the driver."
She curled her toes under the covers and didn't allow him to finish. "I said no."
The adamant refusal got Jed's attention. He wouldn't want her to do it either, but his protest would have likely been more reflexive than anything else. Abbey was more levelheaded. For her to answer before him, so sharp and strong, wasn't like her. His face softened and he touched her arm.
As Detective Johnson said goodbye and walked out, Abbey didn't even make eye contact with him.
Abbey was discharged from the hospital later that afternoon, but not before Jed took meticulous notes on her after-care instructions, including follow-up for her rib fractures and screenings of her newly diagnosed aneurysm. He worried that the car ride home might trigger memories of the accident. They loaded her car and he watched closely as she fastened her seat belt in the passenger's seat without a hint of discomfort.
She was a pro at this. Throughout her medical training, she'd learned to recognize and acknowledge her emotions, often hiding them until she was out of the hospital. And those times when a patient really tugged at her heart and she couldn't escape the inevitable rush of emotion, she was able to temper it until she was alone, usually in the hospital chapel. But she never had to hide it with Jed and somewhere deep down, she knew she didn't have to hide it now either. So was her stoic demeanor real? Was she less affected by the accident than he thought, he wondered.
Abbey glanced at him as he drove out of the hospital parking lot. "What do you think about inviting Doug and Liz over tonight?"
"I love it," he said. He never tired of bonding with his new granddaughter. "You sure you're up to it though?"
"I am. It feels good to be going home." She gazed out the window dreamily. "I'm looking forward to a hot bath, spending a quiet evening with you and the girls, and then sleeping in my own bed." She turned her gaze back to him "...with you."
"Hmm."
"What?"
"Nothing...it's umm..."
"Jed, what?"
"Well, I hope it's okay if we have some people over."
"Of course. We just said Liz and Doug..."
"Yeah, they'll be there, but also, your parents, Millie, Jack..."
"Oh no, don't tell me you planned a party?"
"Not me so much as the girls." He heard her let out a soft sigh. "You know what, I'll cancel it. I'll tell everyone we want some quiet time tonight."
"No, no, it's okay."
"I don't want you taking on more than you can handle, Abbey."
"I can handle it. I don't want to disappoint the girls. They've been through so much already. I just need a moment to get used to the idea, that's all. Besides, we have tomorrow, right?"
"Yes, I promise. Tomorrow, the whole day, just us and the girls."
Jed made the turn toward the farm and started up the gravel drive that wound around the pasture and toward the side of the old white colonial. He never tired of this view. So many hills. As far as the eye could see. The grass peeked through the last hint of melting snow and would soon transition, with the final days of mud season, to a beautiful shade of emerald green. He parked the car and exited, inhaling the fresh, crisp May air. He walked over to the passenger's side door which he opened for Abbey and held her hand to help her out. His arm around her, they climbed the steps of the porch and opened the door.
"SURPRISE!"
Abbey stood in awe at the sight of her family and friends all gathered around under a gigantic banner welcoming her home.
"MOMMY!" True to her exuberant and energetic personality, Zoey sprinted toward her mother.
Jed predicted the inevitable crash and thinking quickly, he jumped in front of Abbey to shield her and in one fluid motion, he bent down to scoop his youngest daughter up into the air and into his arms. "Hold up, hot shot. You don't pounce on someone who just left a hospital bed."
"But I'm excited," she said.
"You can be excited, but in an orderly fashion. Okay?"
Jed lowered their little fireball to the ground and Abbey chuckled as she took Zoey's hand and made her way to the sofa. She sat down with a noticeable wince from the pain of her ribs.
"Were you surprised?"
Abbey wasn't about to tell them that Jed had warned her. "I couldn't have been more surprised!"
On her other side was Ellie, much more subdued but every bit as excited as her baby sister. She also wrapped her arms around Abbey. "Does it hurt a lot?"
"Not too bad." Abbey reassured her.
One by one, she embraced her two younger girls, her parents, her sister Kate, Millie, and Jack. But looking around the room, there was one person missing and she felt a pit in her stomach. Lizzie wasn't there. They'd barely seen each other since the accident. Liz hadn't been back to visit since she brought Annie to meet her grandmother. It had been an emotional visit that drained both women and Abbey assumed that as a new mother, Liz had too much on her plate to repeat the gesture. But she wasn't here now and Abbey was worried.
Mary sensed her daughter's concern and squeezed in close to Abbey to whisper, "Lizzie's going to call later."
Abbey nodded with a half smile, revealing to Mary exactly what she was thinking - was Lizzie really ok?
The celebration was a success. They showered Abbey with hugs and kisses, laughed hard enough that she often grabbed her side from the pain, ate cake, and Zoey even put on an impromptu karaoke duet she had somehow recruited Ellie to do with her. The pair serenaded their mother with their rendition of My Favorite Things, a song from one of Abbey's favorite movies and a lullaby she sometimes sang to them as babies.
After well a couple of hours, the guest of honor was exhausted, and it showed. Everyone began to filter out. Jed thanked them all for coming as he saw them off before he returned inside to help Abbey up to their bedroom. Once she was settled, he headed back downstairs to tidy up in the living room and kitchen. Ellie saw him pass by her bedroom and took advantage of the opportunity to catch her mom alone. She trekked softly across the hall and spied through crack in the door her father had left ajar to see her mom moving slowly around the room to prepare for bed.
Abbey caught a glimpse of her. "Ellie?"
Ellie pushed the door open. "Hi."
"You can come in, sweetheart." Abbey sat on her side of the bed. "What's up?"
Ellie froze. She felt a deep wave of regret for their argument before the accident. She wanted to thank Abbey for coming home, for not dying and leaving her to live with the guilt for the rest of her life. But that was awkward and melodramatic. She was too emotional to say anything else, so she just shook her head as her eyes turned red. "Nothing."
Abbey held out her arms. "Come here."
Ellie practically ran into her mother's embrace. Tears fell before she could even think to stop them. She felt Abbey's hands on the back of her head, lovingly stroking her hair, then her back. "I'm sorry I'm a brat sometimes."
Abbey put her hands Ellie's shoulders, pulled back, and grabbed a tissue to dab at her daughter's eyes. She then swept the side of the young girl's hair and affectionately wrapped a finger around one of her golden curls. "When I woke up in that hospital bed, all I kept thinking was the worst thing that could have happened is if I had died without getting to tell you what an amazing person you are and how proud I am to be your mom."
Jed stood just outside the door. Having heard the interaction, he looked up and mouthed a quiet 'thank you' to God for looking over his family and not robbing him and his girls of their mother. His eyes shined with a few tears of his own as he retreated downstairs to give Abbey and Ellie a few minutes of privacy.
With Ellie off to sleep and Abbey still awake, propped up on some pillows and reading, Jed walked back in to the master suite. "I thought you were tired."
"I hate sleeping without you."
"Give me 5 minutes," he said as he dashed into the bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for bed.
Abbey closed her book and returned it to the night stand. She had the covers pulled up to her waist and she instinctively pulled at the top hem as she scanned the room. It was quiet. No beeping monitors or machines. No nurses to wake her up in the middle of the night to take her blood pressure or give her medication. She didn't have a decent night's sleep throughout her hospital stay. She thought all that would be over once she was discharged, but for the first time, she found the quiet of home wildly uncomfortable. Now that the girls were in bed, it was practically silent. Not even the familiar sounds of nocturnal animals in the wood or the noises she was used to hearing at night on the farm. Tonight, the ticktock of the bedside clock was the only thing she heard and it was unsettling.
She looked over at that clock and at the bottle of medicine in front of it. The doctor had given her a short supply of Xanax which had helped with her anxiety in the hospital. She knew the risks of this medication - tolerance, misuse, rebound anxiety, withdrawal, all of which could eventually lead to addiction. But she also knew it worked...well. She'd been warned that with her rib fractures, she should use it cautiously since it lowered her respiratory drive, that she shouldn't use it unless she really needed it, and that no refills would be provided. She also knew that mixing it with her pain medications would be even more dangerous and it was the pain meds that really brought her relief. She made the choice to avoid Xanax unless she was desperate.
The problem was that right now, she was desperate.
She reached for the bottle and after a brief hesitation to evaluate her level of anxiety, she twisted the cap and poured one pill into the palm of her hand. She threw it into her mouth, washing it down with the glass of water she'd left on the night stand earlier in the evening.
Just as quickly, Jed emerged from the bathroom. "Told you."
She felt a twinge of defensiveness, as if she'd been caught and he was about to lecture her on taking a dose of Xanax. "Told me what?"
Why did she feel like she was doing something wrong, she wondered.
"That it would only take 5 minutes." He glanced at his watch. "Brushed my teeth, changed into my PJs, and I still have 20 seconds left."
Relieved that's all he meant, Abbey chuckled. "Get into bed."
"Yes, Ma'am." He cozyed up beside her and propped himself up on his elbow. "Did you take your pain meds?"
"Yeah."
"Good."
"I hate pills, you know that."
"I know, sweetheart, but if it brings you some relief, what's the harm?"
"I don't like relying on them."
"It's temporary."
She gave a nod. "Liz never called. She said she was going to."
"Well, she's a new mom. She's probably as exhausted as you are."
"I wanted to talk to her about what Derek said, about how she was nervous and distracted. Do you think there's anything to that?"
"I think it's exactly what I told him. You were both put through a terrifying experience. Being nervous when recounting it to police is only natural. I'm sure she's fine."
"Still, I wish she'd call," Abbey said. "Do you think it's too late to call her?"
"Probably. I've been seeing her every day since she was discharged, if that makes you feel any better. I even checked in this morning before I came to the hospital."
"And she's really ok?"
"Yes," he said with a smile.
"I hope you're right."
"I'm always right, sweet knees." He placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Now close your eyes."
Abbey smiled back at him, then fell onto her back and with a deep breath, closed her eyes. Ordinarily, an early evening would mean a night of sex, but that was the furthest thing from Jed's mind right now. He didn't want sex; he didn't want sleep either. After coming so close to losing his wife, all he wanted was to lie next to her, watch her fall asleep, listen to her breathe, and feel the warmth of her body next to his.
Sensing his eyes on her, Abbey called his name. "Jed?"
"Yeah?"
"A watched pot analogy comes to mind."
He laughed and rolled onto his back. "Sorry."
She turned her head and stared at him. "I love you."
He returned her stare, all the love - and fear - shining through. "I love you too."
She saw that fear. She moved closer to wrap her arms around him. "Hey."
Jed held her tight, his face buried in her shoulder. "I'm all right."
"Yeah?"
He took a breath and whispered to her, "I didn't know if I'd ever get to hold you again or sleep next to you in bed. I didn't know..."
She touched his cheek with her hand and lifted her head to kiss him. One kiss and then another and another until she was nestled deep in his embrace. She lay cradled in his arms that night, so close she could hear his heart beat. And he could feel hers. They fell asleep intimately wrapped around one another.
It was getting late at the Westin house. Doug sat at the kitchen table having just finished three slices of pizza. The box contained seven more slices, none of them even touched. He grabbed the empty place setting directly across from him, piled two slices onto the plate, and headed to the nursery to find his wife.
Annie's room was small, not at all what Liz wanted for her daughter, but all they could afford without their parents footing the bill. There was a light fixture hanging from the ceiling, a touch lamp in the shape of a star on the bookcase, and a regular lamp on a table by the crib. But Liz had turned them all off. The room was dark, except for the dim glow of a night light and a sliver of moonlight that peeked through the gauzy pink and white curtains.
Doug walked in to see Liz sitting in a rocking chair next to Annie's crib. She rocked back and forth in a rhythm with her eyes fixated on her newborn daughter. He stepped up beside her with the plate of pizza and a napkin. "I brought you some dinner."
"No thanks."
"Liz, you skipped lunch too. You haven't been eating very much at all."
"I'm just not hungry," she told him.
Doug began to leave, but he stopped for a moment and turned to her again. "Look, I don't want to get in the middle of...whatever...but why are you avoiding your mom?"
"I'm not."
"Why didn't we go to her welcome home party? And why didn't you call like you said you would?"
"I forgot."
"Liz."
"Doug, it's been a really long day and I've barely slept since Annie was born. Can we table this for now?"
"Okay." Rejected, he slumped his shoulders and left the room with the plate of pizza.
The door closed behind him and Liz didn't even acknowledge it. She was tired, but it was more than just that. She reached through the vertical rails of the crib to touch her sleeping daughter as a few tears soaked her lashes and fell down her face.
TBC
