Chapter 19:

Sauron's eyes opened slowly. He had slept deeply for once, and he was about as loathe to wake up as he was to walk outside in a blizzard.

And he wasn't the only one, the Dark Lord realized as he looked down at his slave.

Irideth's breathing was steady and deep, body completely relaxed. The same could be said for her expression; there was no furrow in her brow, no frown, no tenseness of any sort.

Sauron pushed himself slightly upright and leaned against the back of the couch, moving slowly so as not to wake the girl. Irideth barely moved when he brought her close; Sauron felt a smile tugging at his mouth when she sighed, curling into his chest and burying her face in his shoulder before going still again.

A foreign feeling of amusement drew Sauron's attention to Murazor, who was working at the desk just behind his head.

'I am pleased she was able to find restful sleep,' Sauron said through the connection provided by Murazor's ring. 'I am concerned I frightened her earlier.'

'I wouldn't say frightened,'Murazor responded, not looking up from the document he was studying. 'You certainly startled her quite badly, but considering how quickly she fell asleep I do not believe she was genuinely scared.'

Murazor did look up from his work then, turning his hooded gaze to his Master. 'You do not want her to be frightened of you?'

That gave Sauron pause; he slowly turned his gaze back to the child he held. 'I do not wish for her fear to be overbearing. I know that she is still wary of me, but it is pleasing that she no longer seems ready to flee at the slightest notice when she and I are in the same room.'

He could almost hear the wraith cocking his head. 'I had not thought that was the case for quite some time,' Murazor said.

'She is very guarded, still,' Sauron answered. 'She has no Song that I can hear and it is… difficult, for me to gauge just how much her fear has lessened.' The last part was said with no small part of irritation and a hint of bitterness.

'So, no further luck with your research?' Murazor ventured. Sauron shot him a what do you think look. He then returned his attention to Irideth, idly stroking the side of her face.

'There are a few rituals that may provide answers, but I am loathe to attempt them with her being such an… unknown variable,' Sauron said, running a strand of Irideth's hair through his fingers. 'I have a few more experiments in mind, but I will need some more of her blood.'


Irideth woke slowly, with a leisurely stretch and a large yawn.

Wait.

The girl's eyes flew open and she looked around, bewildered.

How did I get back to my room? The last thing she remembered was falling asleep in the Nazgûl's office… in Sauron's arms. Again. Well, not that he'd really given her any choice in the matter; Irideth still didn't know what to make of that.

Irideth heaved herself upright with a large sigh; her body was feeling too heavy again. It took her several seconds to gather herself and slide to the floor. She took a minute to brush the tangles out of her hair, then turned to the door.

When she'd mustered up the courage to open it, Irideth was a bit surprised to be met with the sight of Asha standing in front of Sauron's desk arguing quietly with him about something; the orc was gesturing harshly for emphasis while the Dark Lord's expression was slightly baffled. Halla was there too, her back turned to the other two and looking like she was trying her best not to laugh as she set a dinner tray down on the side of Sauron's desk.

When the woman raised her eyes and saw Irideth, she glanced quickly at Sauron and Asha, who had yet to notice anything, before making her way quickly over to the girl.

"Irideth," Halla said softly, to Irideth's surprise holding out her hands. Irideth placed her own hands in them as Halla knelt before her, studying the girl's face closely. Irideth was even more surprised when the woman gripped both of her hands in one of hers, holding them close to her chest while her other hand moved to cup Irideth's face. The child blinked when she noticed that Halla's eyes were shining suspiciously.

"Are you well, little one?" the woman asked, voice quiet and strained.

Irideth managed a thin smile in response. She moved her hands and gently gripped the one that held hers in both her own.

"I'm fine, Halla," she answered, just as quiet. Halla smiled back, shaky though it was. She abandoned the effort after a moment or two.

"I'm sorry, Irideth. I'm so sorry," she whispered, stroking the girl's cheek with her thumb as a few tears slipped free.

Swallowing thickly, Irideth closed her eyes for a moment, leaning into the hand pressed against her left cheek, before opening them again and meeting Halla's gaze. Irideth's smile widened.

"It wasn't your fault, Halla," Irideth said softly. "None of it was your fault. Not you or Inga or any of you."

A choked sound left Halla's throat, and before Irideth realized what was happening Halla had pulled her into an almost crushing hug. Irideth found she didn't really mind it, wrapping her arms around the woman and returning the gesture. She buried her face in the crook of Halla's neck, breathing in the scent of nutmeg and vanilla that clung to the woman like a second skin. Irideth closed her eyes, the leather of Halla's collar digging into her cheek as her own tears slid down her face.

Irideth wasn't certain how long they stayed that way, but her eyes were (mostly) dry when Halla released her. The woman was looking a bit better, Irideth noted gladly; the smile on her face wasn't forced this time.

"Make sure you eat something this evening, all right, Irideth? Asha has been adamant about that," Halla said, brushing a strand of hair from Irideth's face.

Irideth's stomach roiled at the thought, but she nodded nonetheless. Halla smiled in response, squeezing Irideth's hands one more time as she stood.

Irideth turned her attention to Asha and Sauron as Halla walked back to the desk. They appeared to be wrapping up their conversation (or Asha her lecture, more accurately, considering Sauron's expression).

The girl followed Halla over to the desk. She began organizing the documents the woman moved out of the way, placing them in their respective files and putting them in the bookshelves beside the desk in the order she knew Sauron kept them.

When Irideth turned around after placing the last file, she almost jumped when her gaze met Sauron's. The Dark Lord gestured for her to go to him and Irideth complied before she could think about it, taking a firming breath as she walked.

When she reached him, Sauron lifted her into his lap, holding her against his chest with one arm while the other hand began carding gently through her hair. Irideth allowed herself to relax against him, closing her eyes as she let her head rest on Sauron's chest, breathing in the now-familiar scent of frankincense and sage.

'What were you and Halla speaking about earlier?'

Irideth tensed before she could stop herself, eyes opening in her surprise. She listened to the low murmur of Halla and Asha's voices at the other side of the room to keep herself calm. 'We… it was about… about what happened.' Irideth did not want to go into detail but judging by the way Sauron stopped his carding for a moment and tensed, she didn't need to. 'Halla felt like it was her fault. The others probably do, too. I told her it wasn't.'

Irideth released a quite breath when Sauron didn't respond beyond a small hum, picking up his carding again as he leaned further back in his chair. She glanced over her shoulder when she heard someone – Asha, it turned out – approaching the front of the desk.

"I must take my leave now, my lord," Asha said. "I don't dare leave Borza alone with the apprentices any longer than I absolutely must; the last thing I want to spend my time doing is brewing replacement potions and poultices because someone's temper flared enough for things to start flying."

What the…? Irideth didn't remember Raska mentioning any brawls in the healing wing, which, given the young orc's love of gossip, she highly doubted Raska would have forgotten.

A warm… tickling feeling at the front of her head, Irideth supposed she'd describe it as, alerted her to Sauron's amusement.

'Her concern is well warranted,' Sauron said. 'She tries to keep fights to a minimum, understandably, but when something does occur it is rather spectacular.'

"Far be it from me to keep you," the Dark Lord said out loud; Irideth almost jumped in surprise. "Thank you for your assistance, Asha."

Asha bowed briefly before turning smartly on her heel and heading for the door.

"Thank you, Halla; that will be all for tonight," Sauron called over his shoulder. Irideth craned her neck to see behind him, just in time to see Halla close the wardrobe door and curtsy before making her own quiet way toward the door.

Irideth tensed when she felt Sauron's attention return to her once Halla had left. She barely kept from flinching when the Maia placed two fingers beneath her chin, tilting her head back and making her eyes meet his. She did tense when she felt him pressing at the bond. The girl was so nervous she almost didn't notice the initial brush of his mind against hers, it was so light.

That didn't last long; once Sauron discovered that whatever had been impeding the bond before was apparently gone, he immediately pressed deeper. Irideth's eyes slid shut before she could stop them. She winced at the pain as Sauron… it almost felt like he was trying to immerse himself in her mind, embed himself in her consciousness, but to what end Irideth couldn't fathom…

Her memories.

No! Oh, no! Irideth's heart almost stopped; she felt like her stomach had just dropped to her feet. He couldn't she couldn't let him see…!

The pain suddenly increased tenfold. Irideth couldn't stop the small cry that escaped her, flinching as though struck as Sauron was essentially flung out of her mind. The Dark Lord blinked in surprise, barely managing to catch her when she nearly toppled over backward.

Irideth was barely aware of anything at that point; her ears were ringing, vision hazy, throat burning, mind swimming. She might have been crying, but she couldn't tell. She was shaking, she was pretty sure, minute tremors running through what seemed like every inch of her body. Her blood felt like it was burning.

A sudden increase in vertigo had the girl blinking slowly. Her numb mind registered a few blurred shapes, realizing slowly that Sauron was pulling her closer to him. Irideth felt her heart jump again, but she could barely even move; her limbs were completely without feeling.

Dimly the girl was aware of a hand cupping the right side of her jaw, tilting her head back. She could barely make out Sauron's face. She could see that his mouth was moving, he might have been speaking, but the roaring in her ears was so loud there was no hope of her deciphering his meaning.

Irideth tried to shake her head. She managed, to a degree, blinking a few times to ensure that the Dark Lord would understand her lack of a response.

He must have gotten the gist, for he closed his mouth and leaned back, drawing Irideth closer. Irideth curled into him as best she could, closing her eyes and burying her face in his chest as she did her best to stop shaking.


Irideth didn't know how long she stayed that way. She wasn't truly aware of anything beyond her spinning head and the noise ringing in her ears. When she'd regained some semblance of equilibrium, she swallowed thickly, inhaling a few times before taking stock of things.

She'd apparently regained control of her limbs at some point; she'd curled into a tiny ball, and her left hand was clutching the fabric of Sauron's shirt in a veritable death grip. Her cheeks felt damp… she had been crying at some point, then. She was aching absolutely everywhere, and her body and her eyelids were so heavy.

Irideth tensed when she became aware of a hand brushing through her hair, gently tugging errant strands back from her face. She promptly decided against opening her eyes, screwing them shut even more tightly and burying her face in Sauron's chest again. The girl felt the Dark Lord tense slightly, and then his chest fell as he exhaled, picking up his carding again while his other arm, which was currently wound about her waist, held her a bit more firmly.

"Are you alright, little one?" she heard him say, just loud enough for her to hear.

No. Irideth nodded, inhaling as she forced her grip on Sauron's shirt to slacken. The rest of her muscles, however, refused to follow suit.

"Do you need me to send for Asha?"

Apparently she hadn't been convincing. Taking another deep breath, Irideth shook her head, uncurling herself as best she could as she opened her eyes.

"I'll be fine." Her voice certainly didn't sound fine; thin and scratchy, like the sawdust that always covered the floor of her father's shop.

Irideth's throat closed up immediately following that thought, chest going tight, a burning sensation beginning behind her eyes. Valar, what is wrong with me? She usually had much better control than this!

The girl's eyes fell shut again as she allowed herself to fall against Sauron, who promptly tensed again, so minutely she almost didn't notice. His relaxation a few moments later felt just as forced as her earlier attempt, though the Maia was far more successful than she had been. He began stroking her hair again. A minute or so later he started to hum.

It was quiet, so quiet Irideth more felt than heard it. The melody was easy and slow, putting Irideth in mind of… she wasn't exactly sure. The notes did not quite sound like something a human throat could produce, but then, Irideth supposed, what would you expect of a Maia?

The girl had relaxed before she'd even realized it; she only noticed when her legs slipped to dangle off the arm of Sauron's chair. Sauron didn't appear to pay this any mind, continuing with both his stroking of her hair and his humming.

After some indeterminate amount of time, Irideth began to feel… lighter. Not the light-headedness of her earlier vertigo; this was a far more pleasant sensation. She sighed quietly, body going almost completely limp. She was aware of a rush in her ears, unlike the one that had assailed her earlier. This was…

Water?

Yes, it was; Irideth didn't know how, but she was hearing… actually hearing… waves crashing against a shore. Is this the ocean? She'd never been anywhere near the sea, so she wasn't certain, but it certainly wasn't a river or a lake she was hearing. She was… Irideth could swear she was tasting salt on her lips, feel the water drying on her face. There was sand beneath her feet, warm and fine. The breeze lifted her hair off her shoulders…

Irideth jerked involuntarily, trying to push herself away from Sauron on what she could only call instinct. A feeling of hollowness grew in the girl's stomach when Sauron's arm tightened around her waist, the hand that had been stroking her hair falling to her right shoulder. His grip was gentle, barely even there, but to Irideth in that moment it felt as restrictive as steel-wrought chains.

'Let go!' Irideth cried before she could stop herself. 'Let go!'

Funny, her mental voice didn't sound anywhere near as hysterical as she'd have thought, Irideth noted distantly as she kept trying to get away from Sauron. The Dark Lord's grip on her shoulder tightened, as did the arm around her waist. Irideth's heart, already beating rapidly, began feeling like it was about to crawl up her burning throat and into her mouth.

The girl could have sworn that was exactly what it did when Sauron pulled her to his chest, wrapping both arms around her as he started to sing softly.

Irideth opened her mouth, whether to scream, shout at him, plead with him to release her, she wasn't entirely certain. No sound, save a small gasp, made it over her lips.

'Let me go!' Irideth cried once more when she felt Sauron pressing at the bond, gentle but so insidiously insistent. 'Please let me go! Please!'

Sauron did nothing of the sort; on the contrary, his grip tightened further. Irideth was peripherally aware she was still squirming, trying in vain to free an arm, kick him, do something, but his voice, his song was echoing not just in her ears but in her head and she didn't understand it there were no words but the notes meant something he was doing something to her she couldn't…

'Do not Fear.

Breathe.'

Well, she was, she was almost gasping like a landed fish…

'Do not Fear

Breathe.

Breathe easy

You are Safe.

Breathe.

Do not Fear.

Breathe easy.'

And she was breathing easy, without any conscious effort at all. Because this wasn't her effort, was it, it was Sauron, it was his song, the notes weren't just a song they meant things, he was casting some sort of spell on her…

'Do not Fear

Breathe easy

You are Safe

Sleep.'

Irideth felt her body go all but completely limp in Sauron's arms, head falling to rest against his chest, directly above his heart. Her eyes started to droop, vision beginning to swim and darken…

'Do not Fear.

Sleep.'

Irideth's eyes slid closed, breath deepening still further…

'Sleep.

Sleep.'

Her throat began to burn, pressure building in her chest.

Irideth's body spasmed, her head jerking up as her eyes flew open, the hands that had been clutching the fabric of Sauron's shirt curling into claws as the girl's lips drew back in a snarl, blood blazing.

'NO!'

Sauron reeled back as though she'd struck him, eyes so wide it might have been comical in another setting, grip loosening in his shock, song faltering.

That lasted less than a second; Sauron recovered himself so quickly he'd dragged Irideth back against his chest before she had a chance to even turn away from him. He began singing again, louder than before, voice more lilting and melodic, taking on the same otherworldly quality his humming had had before. Irideth gave a strangled, wordless cry, half fear, half rage.

'Release me!'

'SLEEP.'

Irideth went limp, strength vanishing from her limbs as quickly as wind snuffing out a candle. Her head spun, exhaustion overwhelming her in an instant. Her eyes slid shut of their own accord, and she was only dimly aware of a hand coming to rest in her hair.

'Sleep.

Sleep, and Forget.'

Everything faded away.


Sauron could only stare at the listless body in his arms for several minutes.

What in the name of all the Valar had that been?

NEVER had a human resisted his Song like that. If the girl were an Elf, it wouldn't have been so startling, but even then a creature so young, so inexperienced and lacking much knowledge of the world should not have been able to resist him like that.

The Dark Lord barely resisted the exasperated sigh wanting to escape him. No answers and yet more questions regarding you, my little one, he thought, looking down at Irideth. He adjusted his hold on the girl so her head rested on his shoulder as he stood, moving toward the bed.

He would have preferred writing down his observations right then; things tended to be more vivid the sooner he completed notes on any of his experiments, but he needed to complete the memory spell immediately to make certain Irideth remembered nothing he didn't want her to. Sauron had no doubt that if she recalled anything of the past ten minutes when she woke, there would be… problems.

Sauron walked to the left side of his bed and drew back the covers, setting Irideth down with her head resting on the pillows. Placing his hands on either side of her temple, Sauron began his Song again.

The Dark Lord was not surprised that the spell took longer to perform than it should have, nor that it took a good bit of concentration on his part despite his psychic link with the child. Her strange resistance to his power had grown significantly in just the past day, and he was willing to bet this latest incident had made it even stronger.

At least I can be certain it is not something she controls consciously, Sauron thought as he straightened, studying Irideth's vaguely troubled face. Not entirely consciously, at least.

Her shield had strengthened remarkably quickly; even if Sauron had been training her, he would not have expected such rapid progress. Though Irideth had proven herself adept at shielding, given how quickly she had learned to block the link during his latest… episode.

But she had never once tried denying him access, Sauron mused as he ran a hand through the girl's hair. He'd never had to force anything before yesterday; all it took was a nudge from him, and Irideth would allow the link to open without resistance. He did not believe she had knowingly fought him at any point; she knew full well he could force her compliance should she try.

Whether or not he would, though…

Sauron did allow himself a quiet sigh as he sat next to the child, idly stroking her cheek with his thumb. Forcing his way through, while it would likely satisfy his immediate curiosity, would have disastrous consequences. It would almost certainly cause some sort of psychological damage, not to mention it would be agonizingly painful for Irideth. It would undoubtedly destroy whatever fragile trust the girl had developed in him.

Shaking himself from his thoughts, Sauron stood and made his way back over to his desk. Opening one of the drawers, he withdrew a small leather case before going to the table by the mirror and retrieving the small bowl of water and the washcloth he'd told Halla to deliver.

Going back to the bedside, Sauron placed the case and the bowl on the small table there. He opened the case and withdrew a strip of leather and a length of gauze. He took Irideth's right wrist and pushed the sleeve of her dress up almost to her shoulder. When the girl didn't stir, he rubbed the damp washcloth at the crook of her elbow before tying the leather into a tourniquet a couple of inches above the joint.

Making certain to keep some of his attention on the bond in case Irideth began to wake, Sauron took a needle from the case and slid it into the vein just beneath the girl's elbow. Thankfully there was no indication from either the bond or any movement from Irideth that she felt anything.

As before Sauron drew two vials of blood before binding a strip of gauze over the insertion point and removing the tourniquet. He would have preferred taking more, at the very least three, but given that the girl had barely eaten anything more substantial than soup for the past several days...

Sauron smiled. He'd be in for an earful from Asha if she ever found out, something she had an uncannily frightening ability to do. She'd advised against him taking any of the girl's blood for another week to give her body more time to recover from her illness, but there were a few time-sensitive experiments he wanted to attempt. Asha had eventually conceded, but two vials at most or you get to deal with it when the poor girl is too weak to stand. And you'd better make DAMN sure she eats tomorrow morning, or it'll be BOTH your heads.

Though he might get it anyway, given that Irideth hadn't eaten anything tonight

Sighing again Sauron stood, placing everything neatly in the case before turning back to the girl, drawing the covers up over her shoulders.

Why did I put her in MY bed? He could just as easily have done this in her room, what in Arda had he been thinking, honestly…

Sauron shook his head at himself. Doesn't really matter, I suppose.

One final check of the bond told him Irideth was still deeply asleep. Satisfied, Sauron gathered the vials of blood he'd drawn and everything else into the case, closing it and heading toward the door. Once in the hall, Sauron began walking toward his personal lab. It was practically on the other side of the fortress, but it was just one floor down; he should be able to complete at least one experiment before dawn. Possibly he'd have time to set up another, but… well, he would see how quickly things moved.

Once Sauron reached the lab, he walked over to the main worktable and set the case down, throwing his outer robe over the back of a chair. As he bound his hair back in a braid, Sauron returned his focus to the desk, eyes scanning the notes he'd laid out earlier.

'No indication of Elven or Maiarin ancestry… signs of power bound to the blood, no confirmation whether the blood is the source of her magic…'

Rolling up his sleeves, Sauron moved to the shelves at the back of the room where he kept most of his herbal ingredients. He wrinkled his nose slightly when opening the leftmost shelf sent a cloud of dust flying; he rarely used this section of the lab, he really needed to dust back here.

Belladonna… ah, bittersweet, the Maia recited to himself, taking a sprig of dried red berries from the topmost shelf and closing the door. Looking out the window, he checked the position of the moon. Sauron smiled to himself, humming quietly in satisfaction as he went back to the table. Setting the berries down, he opened the case and withdrew one of the blood vials while he drew a small mortar and pestle closer with his free hand.

He needed to time the casting of this spell with the position of the waxing crescent moon for the best result. Of course, it meant he'd have to delay writing down his earlier observations even further; not ideal, but there really wasn't much he could do about that. Thankfully he'd at least thought to purify the quicksilver last night; he was right on schedule.

If I can't determine your lineage, let's see if I can at least find out where you come from, my little one. Now, where did Murazor leave those falcons' feathers?


Irideth woke with a racing heart, a sore right arm and an absolutely searing headache.

She bolted upright, almost gasping for breath as she tore the covers off. She more fell than climbed off the bed, vision swimming as it was; the blankets tangled around her legs and sent her tumbling to the floor.

Irideth gasped, kicking like a trapped animal to free herself, clawing at the silken covers and the bandage on her arm like a wild thing.

Valar please, I have to get out of here, I have to run, I…

I can't.

A hitching sob stuck in Irideth's throat as she closed her eyes. She allowed herself to fall face-first into the carpet; her heart was still racing, she was shaking, she felt so horribly sick and why in the name of all the Valar did she feel so afraid?

I… Halla and Asha were here, Sauron asked me about what Halla said, then… he asked me about… sending for Asha? Why did… he tried… did he try to see my memories again?

Irideth swallowed thickly against the onslaught of tears, fisting the carpet in her right hand as her jaw tightened. Her head was pounding something awful and try as she might she could not remember how on earth she'd ended up in Sauron's bed, alone.

I can't remember.

Irideth swallowed bile as her heart jumped again, breath quickening, muscles tensing, eyes opening as she turned her head to the side. She cast her eyes about, unconsciously seeking the threat every inch of her was screaming was somewhere, she had to run, had to get away from it…

I can't. I can't run.

Irideth stilled, turning the thought over in her mind for what could have either been a minute or an hour.

Then she screwed her eyes shut again, a quiet sob leaving her mouth as her tears began anew.

I can't get out of here… even if I leave I can't get away from him… I'm…

I'm trapped.

Irideth didn't know how she was able to stand; she was barely aware of pushing the blankets from her legs, pulling the bandage off (why the hell was that even there?), of pushing herself to her feet and walking toward the door to her room like one in a trance. She had no conscious thought as she entered, closing the door behind her and going to the bed. Climbing onto it, she pulled the covers over herself, curling into the tiniest ball she could manage and burying her face in the pillow as she cried silently.

Mama, papa, Adina… Cevin… I miss you so much.

I love you.


A/N: So… yeah, weight of Irideth's position just hit her like a ton of bricks. Mairon, you're a dear (sometimes) but you're also a fucking idiot and I don't care how dandy you think things might be getting, ya fucked this one up big time.

Also; apologies for the long wait. Life's been in the way for the past several months. And for those of you who have asked, yes, I am still working on my Rise of the Guardians story, but my muse for that one left me for another artist about six months ago. I've written I don't know how many versions of the next couple chapters, but I finally think I've got a workable draft going. I'll update that as soon as I can, hopefully by the end of the month. Thank you all for sticking with me!