To say Robbie Valentino got unlucky would be an understatement, he was now experiencing the excruciating cycle of puberty thanks to the Time Storm making him younger. He felt more angsty than ever and that's an achievement since he is emo, hormones are going haywire in his body and he feels very awkward. His now only salvation was to experience another Time Storm and hope it would revert him to his original age, granted weather is not anexactscience and a temporal one even more so, yet he rather takes his chance than re-experiencing puberty all over again, so he stole a bike and start cycling toward another Time Storm'Why it had to be some pre-teen girl's bicycle!?'he internally whined as he rode a small pink bike which clearly was owned by a small pre-teen girl, it was the only vehicle that wasn't either locked or was nonexistent thanks to everyone evacuating the town.
Soon, he reached another Time Storm and got closer and closer on its way to reaching him to his luck, just not close enough he would get swallowed or launched to the sky by it,'Please be working, please be working…'he inwardly repeated as he got off the two-wheeler, throw it away and ran fastly toward the Storm and hold onto a street lamp, he used his arm to lock into it when the storm passed near him so that he doesn't get devoured by the hungry Tornado. When the Tornado in question left he unlocked himself from the street lamp, no longer feeling the painful puberty experience again "YES! SUCK IT STORM! I'm no longer some awkward sweaty and angsty(Well I'm still angsty) MESS! Eat it and-" He stopped when he started coughing and realized something, his clothes now didn't fit him well, not because he was smaller but because he was now bigger, he felt his body was tired and didn't feel as energetic as he used to be, so he kept touching himself until he got a look at his hand which resulted in him to stand still like a statue, his hand was now wrinkled anddefinitely did not looked like the hand of a teenager.
He slowly walked toward the glass of some abandoned grocery store, while he shook in fear, needless to say, what he saw.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO-*cough Cough cough*! Damn my throat hurts!" he was now an old man with wrinkles all around his face, gray hair, and a long beard, his clothes were now ripped in some parts thanks to the sudden growth in his height and mass. Maybe becoming younger and experiencing puberty again wasn't so bad after all.
"Ughhh, that stinks…" Dipper slowly opened his eyes, and what he sees is Wendy trapped on a wall with cuffs
"Wendy! You're here?"
"Yeah dude, and so do you and the sleeping beauty."
Indeed, the trio was stuck to the wall in a similar state to Wendy with Morty still in a sleeping mood with drools coming from his mouth.
"HEY! WAKE UP!" Wendy shouted.
"B-wh-hu, I swear I'm not a furry Rick!" Morty woke up, only to realize he just said that in front of Mason and the lanky teen whom he met before to his embarrassment as they looked at him questioningly.
"Hehe, I may have once had a crush on an anthropomorphic cat…" if it weren't for the cuffs, he would scratch his back head, and all he could do was smile nervously.
"As far as I am concerned, that's normal compared to my sister's conquests." The Pines boy commented.
Just then, a door got slid with the same bug humanoid Wendy met, who she assumes is the captain of this ship, and Morty recognized him as a gromflomite and came with a smug face with the 3 eyed alien who was one of the guys who chased him and Dipper.
The Captain clapped his hands "Ah, are you all conscious? Good! Are any of you now willing to talk, or should I-?"
"Wait, if you are an alien, then how can I understand you?" Mason inquired.
"Obviously, because we have translators duh." The 3 eyed one replied, the gromflomite again tried to speak before he lost his chance again.
"Would yo-"
"If so, then why couldn't I understand whatever that starfish said?" the questioner's eyebrow came out.
"Tile? Oh, her translator was broken."
"In the-"
"I didn't see her having any mouths, is the translator produce sounds or-"
"*smacked sound on a wall*THANK YOU JEREMY for enlightening a species that pollutes their only planet and wages wars over religion! Now can I interrogate them in peace!?"
"Fine, pompous jackass…" the alien called Jeremy left as he muttered.
Stan and Ford's great nephew couldn't help but irritate him further "Why does he have a human name?"
"ENOUGH! Will any of you be willing to cooperate or NOT?" The humanoid alien gave an ultimatum.
Before Morty could reply, Wendy uttered in defiance "Fat chance bug-face! We faced WAY worse than some fly-head guy with a terrible sense of fashion! I mean…" she made a look around the captain's uniform as he also looked at it, "Yikes dude." The redhead stated with squinted eyes.
"Is that so? Then prepare to witness TRUE HORRORS of your own making as you will get fed by your own pollution which has plagued your galaxy!"
"Galaxy? Dude, We barely even walk on the moon, much less invent FTL." The red-haired girl informed.
"Oh I'm not talking about that kind of pollution, I meant THIS TYPE OF FILTH!" The insectoid brought a controller from his pocket and punched a few buttons, suddenly a monitor showed up in front of the captive, instinctively, the captive shut their eyes "Don't worry, it doesn't matter if you can't see it, just hearing it is enough to decrease your intelligence into mere drooling animals! BWAHAHAHAHA!" The alien laughed in his alien-like laughter.
The bug humanoid pushes another button on his remote control, then a flash of light fills the room, and the big screen starts playing.
"Oh gee, this is it!" Morty vocalized as the trio looked at each other.
"I'm still young! There are still too many mysteries to uncover!" Mason responded.
"I don't want to die a virgin!" Morty confessed.
"Dipper, if you were older I would definitely date you! Suzan's cat wasn't lost, I ate it during Weirdmaggedon!" Wendy confessed and looked down in shame.
The trio shut their eyes while Morty kept chanting 'Lalala I can't hear anything!' As they readied, expecting the worst, maybe videos of untold horrors as they shut their eyes hard; however, instead she heard something familiar.
"What do we do, Chadley? I thought they were dead!"
"Far worse, Trixandra! They're... Nearly Almost Dead But Not Quite!"
scream sounds*
The Corduroy girl slowly opened her eyes as she found out those voices were familiar, when her eyes adapted what she saw was one of those bad low-budget movies she and Dipper watch in their movie marathons, Dipper soon followed and Morty stopped his chanting as he looked confused.
"For centuries you humans broadcast your foul weaponized inanity across space, now have a taste of your own trash!" The alien laughed sadistically.
The pale skin teen realized that the alien is utterly clueless so she decided to play along "Oh no! The sheer cheesiness! It's so cheesy that my skin is becoming tanned!"
"Oh, the inanity! I feel dumber than ever! My IQ is dropping by every moment!" Mabel's twin expressed in fake horror, Morty was still confused before Mason nods at him.
"Oh-ugh-ahm! I'm throwing my intelligence up right now!" He made a gaged expression as if he was throwing up.
"Yes! Yes! Feel the- wait, you can't throw up your intelligence, that's not-"
Before he could finish, the cuffs of the Lumberjane got opened free, before the alien Captain could make any sound and reach his gun, Wendy jumped and kicked him on his face with her knee, and the bug fell unconscious with alien blood oozing from his appendages near what the attacker presumed to be his mouth.
Quickly, she took his futuristic gun and came to the amazed still captured boys. "Wow! How did you free yourself?" Morty asked in amazement while Wendy used the gun to free Dipper from his cuffs by shooting a control panel near him, it was written in an alien language and used biosignature so she had to destroy it to free him. "I saw enough spy movies to know how to free myself from cuffs." shots the other panel next to Morty hence he flinched.
"Stan taught you, didn't he?" The brown-haired boy smirked befitting of a Pines.
"You know it dude." the pale skin girl smirked in return.
The trio quickly ran to the door; Nevertheless, the guy with a camera head came "Huey boss, do you want- WHAT THE-!"
"Git Em!" Dipper barked as he and Morty roared and jumped on him and start punching him as he struggled. As they beat him, the captain crawled onto the floor and hit the emergency button, leading to the sounds and color of alarm spreading around the ship.
"Come on guys!" Wendy shouted to the two boys, they left the beaten camera-headed guy with Morty grabbing one blaster from him as they ran.
"THERE THEY ARE!" the centipede cried out as the rest of them chased the trio and fired at him, quickly Dipper took Morty's blaster to his protest and shot at a control panel, thus a door appeared which separated both sides, finally giving his blaster back.
Somewhere in the ship, a Green Portal opened. "Okay, so maybe that marketplace it was located was just a glitch"- The Green Portal disappeared behind the two travelers -"doesn't mean I'm bad at navigatio-" Summer got cut short of her complaint to her mother by a massive explosion and the sight of Morty running with two other people.
"OPEN THE PORTAL SUMMER!" Summer's brother shrieked.
Morty's sister blinked at this anticlimatic development "Well that was quicker than I thou-" a blast shooting at the Portal Gun's fluid container, hence it spilled all over the ground "Ah fuck-"
"Get down!" Beth shoved herself and her daughter into near a metallic box to use it as a shield from the continuous attacks, so as the others near a corner with a panel with Wendy shooting with her stolen firearm and Morty keep shooting unfocused, or in an apt description with lack of focus because he only brought the blaster up with his hand and shot with no direction.
"Seriously dude??" Wendy uttered in ill humor.
"I just don't want to get shot!" he answered.
Summer rolled his eyes and brought some advanced rifle from her backpack and shot plasma at the bounty hunters with one shot burning the crooked insectoid to crips, causing them to retreat a bit and the trio to have enough opening with the yellow-shirt boy hugging his mother.
"Well, you're here now, the rescue mission is almost done, I'm sure there is a whole story about you friends but let's focus on leaving, good thing grandpa also brought a spared container with Portal fluids in case-" just then a missile fly over and took her backpack "OH COME ON!" the missile with the backpack collided to a wall and exploded with the hole sucking everything around it to the void of space.
Everyone locked themselves to whatever there was, and the humanoid with a camera for a head got thrown away by the force of the sudden pressure of air "YOU FOOOOLS!" He cried out at his foolish colleges, he managed to get hold of Beth's leg to not fall into the space, after which the blonde woman gave him a kick in the head, consequently, he fell into the liminal abyss "AHHHHHH!" he screamed, next a force field stopped from further loss of air and sealed the hole.
In that moment of disorientation since they fell into the floor. The gang kept running from their assaulters, thanks to the backpack now gone they only had 2 blasters and a plasma rifle to defend.
Finally, in this case, the Smiths and The Pines(Honorary Pines in Wendy's case) reached what looked like a reactor room with a giant pulsing generator with purple electricity, Summer shot her rifle to a control panel, therefore a door shut the assailants away from them, although they were now trapped in the reactor room of the ship.
"Really Summer!? You lost the Portal fluids twice!" Summer's brother bellowed.
"You're welcome." the ginger head retorted sarcastically before looking at the guests "Oh, by the way, Hi I'm Summer, I'm my little brother's sister!" She greeted and shook hands.
"I'm not going to always be smaller than you, you know!" Summer's younger sibling remarked, The Pines had a deja vu from that banter.
"Sup, Wendy."
"Ehhh, Dipper."
"As in like the constellation?" the pink-shirt teen questioned.
"Yes?"
"Rad! Wish I had a much more creative name than being named after a season."
Dipper flushed at that, it was the first time someone complimented his nickname and did not give them the impression that his parents hated him or something.
"Not that I'm not happy that my son and daughter are making friends, but can we focus on getting out of here first?" Summer's mother advised and pointed at the sparkling door, signaling them that the aggressors would soon enter, unknown to everyone that something from up was slithering and being ready to attack.
"Don't worry mom, I-WOAH!" the starfish creature attacked and throw her plasma weapon when she shot in instinct which resulted in a misfire, the others quickly got thrown away by its multiple limbs like dolls with Morty and Wendy's handguns thrown away "screech" Wendy thanks to the training she got from her Apocalypse training quickly stand up which followed by Dipper thanks to his training by Manotaurs. The duo jumped at the entity with Dipper holding the upper body of the struggling 6-limbed creature and Wendy throwing a punch to its one eye "*SHRIEKED*" with one powerful arm attack it throwing Mason and Wendy away with the latter unintentionally near the plasma gun, the Smiths got up and attacked with a roar only for them to get yeeted away by the one eye starfish's powerful attacks, after which it turned it's gaze around and saw Corduroy crawling to the Plasma Rifle. The 6-angled starfish growled and like a wheel, used its 6 members to cycle fast toward her.
"Eat plasma 6 legged freak!" Just when it got closer, she shot multiple rounds at the one-eye monstrosity, the ramification of the such close range was a shower of Gorey green mess and with Wendy as the victim as blood and gore spread all over her.
"EWWW! IT'S IN MY MOUTH! IT'S IN MY MOUTH!" The pale skin teen frantically stepped up, walked fast, and then threw up in some corner in the engine room, with others wincing at her predicament.
" *Shudder*I hope that never happens to me." Little did Beth's daughter know, she just jinxed it.
Dipper came to comfort Wendy with one hand on her shoulder since she was still busy throwing up. All of the sudden, alarms came off and everything went red with the Reactor violently discharging, as the group looked, it dawned on them that Summer's misfire hit on the reactor and made a hole in it.
"SUMMER!" the Smith boy squawked.
"You can't blame me for that!" the Pink-shirt girl protested.
"I'm THIS"- the dirty and bloodsoaked honorary Pine gestured with two of her fingers -" THIS close to drop the bomb!" she hissed with gritted teeth at this continuous lead of misfortune.
"Funny you mentioned bomb my fellow auburn-haired…" Morty's older sister was almost sheepish.
The gang quickly ran toward the door, fortunately, the door was already weakened by the mercs before they left because of the alarm, so they just pushed the door until it dropped and sprinted around the ship, looking for some drop pod or a ship or something to get out of the soon-to-be exploded ship.
They reached what looked like a hanger bay "OVER THERE!" Ford's nephew pointed at a big cruiser with two star-like wings, unfortunately, the ship was currently occupied by the fleeting bounty hunters as it flew away, leaving them with some small ugly ship that looked barely functional and looked like the love-child of a van and a saucer "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" the boy with a trapper hat couldn't help but fuss at this. No time to find a much more pleasant-looking alternative so they enter it barely with Summer as the pilot and got out of the starship, from outside the spaceship looked more like a cargo ship with multiple cargos attached to it and in a cuboid form, or at least was before it explodes and reduced into millions of pieces with the shockwave sending them away like a tide pushing a boat. Still, they managed to survive intact.
Somewhere in the deep void of space…
"I should be scared, yet I feel so calm…" The camera-headed being pondered at this strangle tranquility he just achieved, due to him being a robot he didn't suffocate, froze, and blew up into tiny pieces, in front of him was the majestic look of cosmos with stars and what looked like a giant fuchsia colored galaxy or at least he thinks it is a galaxy gleaming.
"It's so beautiful…" if he had any tear glands, he would cry in happiness. "I feel so content, never had I felt so…what the fuck?" A giant space-faring fish the size of an elephant that was illuminated with natural luminous lights ate him whole. In space, no one can hear you yapping.
"Hey! Get your feet off me!" Summer shouted.
"Not my fault this ship has so little space with the amount of space she is filling!" Morty said.
"Did you just call me fat!?" Wendy uttered in outrage.
"Your ass IS fat!" Summer mockingly informed her.
"I knew I should have called Space Beth for this, at least her ship was bigger," Beth stated deadpan.
Turns out, the cruiser which they inhabit only has sits for two people not five, they barely managed to fit themselves in it with Morty up in the ceiling, Summer barely in the pilot sits, Wendy's face fixed to the glass, Beth at the end of the corner of the vehicle and Dipper being sandwiched between Summer and Wendy hence why he is furiously blushing and his mind currently freezing with the rest of his body like a hanged computer.
"-I'm not the one whose leg is dangling all over uh-ho!" The ginger-haired exclaimed about what she saw from the glass.
"Don't tell me, we are being sucked into a wormhole and doing an outdated meme thing." The blonde spoke in a bland tone.
"Yep."
"And trapped in its gravitation field with no hope of avoiding it."
"Most certainly."
"...bring it on."
They got sucked into a wormhole to who knows where with everyone shrieking about whatever fate they are going to face. Wendy and Dipper were wondering what kind of people are they who aren't even flinched by the prospect of being sucked into a wormhole to nowhere, or is it something messed up about their dimension?
