While Beth and Summer were out of the house, Jerry finally, thanks to Soos's help, managed to get the Pig contained somewhere else, although it did quite a lot on the chair.
"Damn it!"- he kicks it -" And this is why farm animals are only good for food!" The green-shirt man complained, the chair indeed was ruined.
"Don't worry bro, I can fix it, I just need some tools," Soos assured.
"I know some." Jerry goes and after five minutes comes back with a toolbox, to his Surprise after thirty minutes the guest managed to fix the chair like before it got chewed out, a surprise but a welcome one.
"Sweet mother of the Mexican club! it looks good as before! Where did you learn to do that?" Beth's husband was amazed at the work.
"I used to be a handyman for Mr. Pines before running the Shack, the pay wasn't much but I liked my job."
"Well, you should have demanded a raise from your boss because it looks good as new!" He checks it around, indeed it looks like it wasn't chewed before.
"Nah dawg, truth be told my dad wasn't exactly very "apparent" in my life, don't tell anyone but Mr. Pines as a father figure, even though he can be…"- tries to gesture his hands in motion -"a bit scruffy and greedy, he was more a dad to me than my biological one."
" *sigh*wish I could say that about myself, I keep trying to be in my kid's life even when I had a temporary divorce"- that got Soos's attention, Jerry didn't know why he was going open with him, but this Ramirez had this aura about him thanks to his genuine willingness and openness, the type that keeps you at ease which signs you that a person doesn't have any ulterior motive and won't judge you, he continued -"but either I keep messing up or they don't want me, not that it's much of a competition between a dimensional-traveling scientist with cool sci-fi stuff and an unemployed boring loser like me." He sighs in defeat.
"Not that it's my place or anything dude, but what's important is to be with your fam, sometimes it's important to give them what they needed instead of what they wanted, Mr. Pines wasn't perfect either, yet I wouldn't reach high in life if it weren't for him, so as long as you're there when they need you, that would be enough."
Jerry was touched by that, rarely anyone gave him any credit or compliment, his eyes got teary from this.
"Eh, are you alright, Hambro?"
He was answered by a hug by him, it startled him at first before embracing that.
"It's the most beautiful thing anyone ever said to me!" Now he was crying, good thing Soos is good at emotional support and his father-in-law wasn't here or he would ruin the moment and mock him just like his friendship with that bowl-cut Rick, who was the only Rick he met that didn't belittle him.
It had been hours since Stan, Ford, and Rick followed, jumping from one rock to another or just swimming around in this bizarre dimension in space. Not that it isn't fun though, but considering they and their families are lost and had to survive so many equally bizarre threats, it was getting frustrating and all they could have done was annoy each other like any responsible and mature adults.
"Are we there yet?" Stanley asked.
"No," Ford answered.
"Are we there yet?
"We get there when we get there." Rick with annoyance responded.
"Are we there-"
"Cease and Desist from making a meme reference or I would have your ass for dinner."
That sharp retort from Rick was enough to shut him up, not before he mumbles and mimics Sanchez's words childishly.
"WE ARE THERE THERE!" Liam announced cheerfully in the shape of a star. They indeed reached their destination.
On a small floating land, there was a giant circle of sort of alien and ancient machinery made by a long-forgotten civilization with a blue portal inside of it, this portal looked like a drowning vortex rather than the one Stan saw when he activated Ford's Portal last summer.
"Eh, is it safe?"
"Yeah, Don't worry mates, it is a shimillion years old yet it works like a charm! Though I warn ya, it only works one way and leads to some very dull universe where ya meaty milk suckers are actually cows with human heads!" he turned into a mimic of a cow.
"Not something I can't handle." The Blue-haired criminal shrugged in indifference.
"Oh Well, Don't need my help anymore, I'm going!"
"Wait! What is your relation with Bill?"
"Auf Wiedersehen!" Cooper becomes an arrow and then shot away into the distance with fire coming from his down as a way to mimic a rocket.
"...I thought he was British." Ley couldn't help but ask as Ford sighed in defeat in getting any answers.
"He is a Tangram, Dummkopf." Morty's grandfather moved past him after he insulted him in German with Stanley shrugging.
They moved toward the Portal machinery, but then someone intervene.
"Well, Well, look who's here!'
That prompted the trio to look back at the source of the sound, what they saw was a three-eyed humanoid in pink with fires around her body and a hungry gaze with other bizarre entities such as some dwarfish-like keyhole, a one-eye black Rhombus, and other such, all looking at them maliciously. Stan and Ford immediately recognize them as the henchmaniacs, Bill's henchmen.
"Friends of yours?" The nihilist asked as he readied his weapons so as his ex-partner, the conman was the only one who didn't have a weapon.
"We haven't been able to thank you meaties for getting rid of the boss!" Kryptos.
"He was a meanie." Eight Ball added.
"*groan*not another villain chit-chat." Summer's grandfather massaged his eyes in exasperation.
"Someone will be in my mouth!" A giant head with a hand fist is his only hand.
Pyronica continued with a playful malevolent grin "BUT you are also the reason why we are stuck here, we can't even use that Portal due to its security measures, so we are-"
*BEAM*
Everyone froze at the big bright beam being unleashed from Rick's bazooka-like cannon, the beam hit on one of the henchmaniacs who is a giant head with a hand on his head, there was a big scorching hole on his left eye, if it weren't for the intense heat brain matter would have been leaking out of him by now, The Horrifying Sweaty One-Armed Monstrosity looked very surprised and just stand there before he died, fell and float into the colorful abyss, after that everyone stared at the interdimensional criminal with incredible looks.
"What? Do you think just because it's your monologue time, means you're safe? Also, that guy gave me the wrong signals with the "I want you in my mouth" thing, so it was guilt-free." The white-coated scientist shakes his head.
"...GET THEM!" The pyro cyclopes commanded as she and her gang attacked the three old men.
Stanford brings his signature pistol and starts shooting, Rick throws his Bazooka and a couple of robotic arms armed with blasters, and two of them with missiles shoots, the henchmaniac had to dodge the shots, unfortunately, the missiles had a guiding system so upon dodge they would simply return to them, it didn't kill them but it did hurt them. The con artist felt powerless to doing any contribution, he can con people by giving him money for free but fighting head-on with Interdimensional criminals. Well, that was of course if he was rational, no rational man would fist fight with a Pterodactyl. Stan boldly jumps from a cliff on Kryptos's head.
"WHA- GET OFF ME!"
"MAKE ME NERD!"
"AWO! NOT THE EYE! WHY ALWAYS THE EYE!?"
Like a leech, Stanley latched into him and started punching his one eye.
"Stanley! Get out there!" Stan's brother warned.
"Don't worry, I got this creep!" While he was punching, a hand grabbed him which belonged to Pyronica.
"Give up! Or fatty dinner!" She opens her mouth, ready to swallow him.
"I'm not fat! I'm muscular, A MILLION PERCENT MUSCULAR!" Ford's twin protested.
The Author of journals throws his weapons away, The self-proclaimed smartest man sighs in annoyance, and his extra-limbs de-attaches from him, the henchmaniacs cackle and surrounded the duo.
"You know, it's not very smart of you to threaten us."
"What? Because we made the mistake of treating your friends?" She mocked.
"He is no friend of mine, by all means, eat that washed-up jock, he is the reason why we are in this mess, he reeks and can't even pronounce eleemosynary right."
"Rick!"
"Oh screw you!"
"No, the mistake was threatening a dangerous dimensional traveler who once ruined two major galactic and interdimensional powers in a day, a guy named Rick Sanchez who is ME!" The criminal scientist punches on his hand watch, after which the Portal artifact becomes unstable and explodes with energy, it physically hurt the henchmaniacs as some of their screams in pain and Pyronica's hands-on Ley slips as he fell to the ground, yet it was not over. The energy reverts back and turns into a Vortex that starts sucking everything up, The Pines hold to the ground and the Smith holds with a grappling hook gun, the used-to-be Bill's lakies fleed, though some were unfortunate enough to get swallowed and die by the Portal, like a multi-eyed blob entity which got disintegrated by the energy as it screamed.
"What have you done??" Stanley's twin asked.
"I messed with the Machine and made it go haywire by hacking it through my cybernetic implants, cyberpunk style."
"When?"
"While fighting Dido, I'm basically Inspector Gadget if he is competent."
"GAAH! MY HEAD IS EXPLODING! *blows up*" that was one of the falling maniacs.
"But I tell ya, the guys who made that Portal had a sick sense of humor."
Stanley's grip gets loose and with a yelp, he nearly falls before Ford grabs him.
"STANLEY! HOLD MY HANDS!"
"WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING??"
But fate is a cruel mistress, a floating rock flies on their jointed hands, resulting in Stanley's hold on Stanford getting loosed, for a moment everything slowed, there was only the horrified looks of the older Pines Twins as one falls into the Vortex with the other gazing helplessly, it was a cruel irony reminiscent of when Stan saw Ford floating into the unknown, this time with roles being reversed.
"STANLEEEEEEEY-!"
Stanley fell straight to the eye of the storm and with it, the Storm ceased. Rocks fell to the ground, and so as Rick and Ford, the latter ran toward the broken machine before he fell on his knees, still in disbelief of what just happened, grabbing the dirt from the ground, looking at it while it washed away between his fingers, despair threatens to overcome him.
"Tough luck buddy…" the interdimensional scientist patted his ex-partner's shoulder, before stepping toward the broken Portal "oh well, there is always the option of cloning." the indifferent tone hit Rick's ex-associate like cold water which got him out the trance.
"Or snatching an alternate version of him after I fixed this crap to work." The six-fingered man fist his hands, the sheer apathy he was hearing was sickening to him, a reminder of why they parted ways a long time ago.
"Preferably, not a useless ignoramus of a clown whose only useful quality is to fool around and being a waste of oxygen." It was like the ghost of his father coming back and talking trash about his brother again, he never forgave that deadbeat excuse of a father for throwing Stanley away, yet to his shame, he didn't even try to fight for him much less send a mail to him until a decade later; however, he wasn't the man who he used to be, that coward died when the machination of his own ego swallowed him away to a multiverse of infinite wonders and horrors. Rage took him away and in a flash, he threw a punch toward the unexpected Rick Sanchez to his face, his target fell to the ground, with one hand on the soil and the other on his punched cheek.
"Is there any shred of human decency in you!?" The used-to-be dimension-hopping traveler shouted in anger.
"Why do you even care?" Rick ignored his question as he wipes the blood from his lips, he used one leg to unbalance his attacker, and when he wants down he quickly came up and grabs his collar "There are infinite universes with infinite versions of your loved ones, of yourself and every action and inaction you could possibly comprehend!" Then he smacked him to a big rock with his hands still on his clothe's collar "Why? do. you. FUCKING. still, CARE!?" In a quick move, Rick's ex-college with brute force smacks his head on Sanchez's with a sickening crack, the force and the metal in his skull were powerful enough that the blue-haired man lost track with blood oozing from his head.
"That's the difference between you and me Sanchez." Poindexter didn't even give him the time to change his cybernetic limb into a weapon before he broke that hand from behind with a loud crunch as the interdimensional criminal shouted in pain "Where you see nihilism in infinity I see existentialism"- an uppercut to the stomach with a knee -"Where you see nothing matters I see everything matters-" Rick tried to get his hand on his blaster before Ford grabbed the gun and throw it to a rock, resulting in it to break with shimmering electricity "Because guess what? Being hopeful is not being naive or ignoring the bad side"- he throws his opponent to the ground "It's being pragmatic!"- Started a series of punches to his face, his hands got dirty with blood -"And apathy is an excuse to wallow in self-pity, it takes FAR more courage to care than being indifferent. your son-in-law is not the most pitiful member of your family, you are!" Before his next punch reached Rick's ruined and bloody face, he got shocked by an electrified conductor from the blue-haired scientist's right hand under the cuff, after which his body erratically wobbled until he fell unconscious next to him.
For minutes they stayed that way, Stanford was unconscious, whereas Rick conscious still sat down from his back to the ground, moaning in pain with the sound of heavy breathing, his face was bruised, his left eye was purple and he was sure his skull was fractured thanks to his ex-partner's head to head attack, he would have used his healing viral if it wasn't broken and spilled during the fight. "*bloody coughs*shit…I guess this is how the lights will go down huh?... stranded in some funky-disco-Esque dimension with one of my friends who just beat the shit out of me, not that I blame him *cough*…guess…karma is a thing, and boy she is the biggest bitch in the multiverse…." he uttered as he felt the weight of his eyelids before his eyes are shut he could swear he saw a lady with multiple eyes looking at him before darkness took his vision, even in that state his mind couldn't help but usher one last sarcastic comment in his head'Geez, I've heard of almost dying people seeing Virgin Fucking Mary, but now Spider Virgin Mary? I really am fucked up.'he would laugh if his body wasn't busy shutting down.
Lights came back slowly, and Mabel's eyelids got up, "Phew! What a dream! for a moment I thought I saw some loony version of me-" Her relief stopped when he realized she is in a cage, a bird cage to be exact inside of some dark cathedral with shimmering light from an eerily clerestory, it looked like details of Weirdmaggedon with its monsters attacking people, a black pyramid up and down of an X shaped rift which had hands lighted with blue fires, parts of the body as if they are in a moving notion and a singular eye on it, down further at the center was a violent pink colored sphere with the sign of a shooting star on it, while Mabel was busy looking at this work of art in morbid fascination, she heard footsteps with sounds of staff going up and down on the ground from darkness, becoming more clear with each step.
"I can assure you"- the tone sounded condescending, with two glowing pink colores looking at her like a predator during the night -"You weren't dreaming, it was looking at a mirror…"- the figure came into the light -"or a cracked mirror more like it." And behold it was the queen of madness with an unhinged look, dirty clothes, and her broken scepter, the glow in her eyes faded, Mabel knew even then that this version of her ain't Anti-Mabel, but somethingworse, it was a nightmare incarnated.
Notes:I got the idea of Mad Mabel from this.
