I'm dying. I've never died before, but I'm certain this is how it feels. The pain is blinding and yet I hardly notice it, maybe that's how I know I'm dying. Because I should be screaming or crying or at the very least trying to stop the blood from pouring out of me.
But I see no reason to scream or cry or try and keep my blood on the inside. And only an elf who knows the halls are coming would not see a reason to scream or to cry.
Somebody's trying to do it all for me, especially the 'keeping the blood inside of me part'. He is desperate, terrified, but determined.
I can hear the screaming from those of my patrol left alive, or perhaps from the dying like me who have yet to accept it. I force a numb hand to grab the front of Legolas shirt, jerking him away from my wound with more strength than I thought I had left, "Go!"
They need to leave. Before they are all laying in the leaves beside me, watering our forest with their own lifeblood. They need to leave, and he needs to lead them.
"No, no I can't. I'm not leaving you here."
His hands shake like earthquakes, he is scared for me. He is scared for himself, but he still manages to fire off a few arrows with the accuracy I could never achieve to save the lives of his friends.
"It's okay, Greenleaf." His eyes well at the use of his nickname, the one only those who helped to raise him use. The ones who have known his father long before he was born. The ones who love him as much as their hearts would allow.
"No, please. No."
It hurts my heart more than you know, son of my dearest friend to leave you. You who has already lost so much, you who is going to blame yourself for this. I hope your father is able to talk sense into you about that, sooner rather than later.
I promised your father that I would protect you, and I have done my best. I have tried to teach you right from wrong, courage from stupidity, and optimism from delusions. I have tried to help teach you the skills, wisdom and knowledge that you need to lead our people. I have tried to teach you that love is not something to be feared, but now I think I might be teaching the opposite.
The hand that tried to shove you away comes to rest on the side of your face, wiping away a few tears, "It's okay."
I don't know how many times I've promised you that. I know you'll hear it again in a few hours when your father finds wherever you are going to hide away.
"You have to lead them home. There are others injured that have a chance. But only if you can get them to a healer."
You looks around yourself, hand gripping mine tightly. Those still standing have managed to kill the bulk of the attacking force that has done this to us. But more will come. You know they will, your only hope is to outrun them to safer ground.
"Legolas you have to go."
"I can't."
"You can and you will." I never wanted to break your heart like this, I'm sorry. "Our Lady is here, she will protect me. She will take me to the halls before more arrive, I'll be okay. I'll see you again soon."
"I don't want to do this without you."
"Go," I bring the hand that holds mine to my lips and press a kiss, "I will tell your Nana what an amazing elf you have grown to be, she'll be glowing with pride brighter than any star."
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
"I love you." and then I shove you away again, "Go!"
And this time, you listen to me. This time you leave me.
"Good luck, Greenleaf."
And this time I die.
…..
I tried to write this on the bus on the way to work today and let me tell you that was NOT a good idea.
Thanks for reading, love to hear from you!
