EVoNet Forward

Chapter 9

March to War

March came and went was what Harry would have said if he was just messing with your head. The fact was March came, and so did the extravagant prank fest: a prank fest that almost eclipsed the events that would happen shortly this year. It all started so subtly with a flatulence potion in his drink here, or a colour changing potion in her drink there. Nothing too big or dangerous, and potion remnants were tested and even Snape complimented that they were made by someone who knew what they were doing, since once open and free of the preservation charms the potions had a very short 'use-life' of just a few hours so they would become inert rather than fermenting and potentially becoming dangerous poisons, which he had seen before from amateur pranksters – who were discovered and got a few hours' worth of lecturing from whichever teacher got to them first, but whoever made these knew how to hide any trace of their magic.

However, proof or not, the finger for such silly little pranks would always be aimed at the New Marauders, (since the talented Weasley twins had left school), such as Ronald Weasley the instigator and wannabee strategist for those slightly more elaborate pranks, Hermione Granger, the brains, (who actually strategized because she didn't want to get into trouble, even though she knew she wouldn't as long as she was with Terry Potter), and Terry Potter, the one who somehow pulled off performing the prank, but still, Snape knew they were nothing compared to the twins, and he had to unfortunately get these ones out of trouble when using potions, which was why even Dumbledore tried to make them stay clear, as even the smarty-pants Granger forgot to cap a Use-Life – or just didn't know how on certain things.

Though, giving Hermione Granger credit she didn't really want to go around pulling pranks when she could be studying for NEWTS, and it was bad enough trying her hardest to stop Terry from his bullying, and she couldn't be with him twenty-four-seven. She already felt like her heart was going to fall out of her bum when she heard about the incident with Rose and what Harry might have done had they hurt her.

However, the fact was that the Marauder's weren't actually pulling the pranks, but Ronald and Terry just shrugged their shoulders and took credit anyway because they were quite funny, and no-one else took credit for them, so no harm done. It didn't cross their minds that the actual pranker or pranksters might not see things that way. However, they knew with Terry's hero status that they wouldn't get into any trouble so lavished in the attention.

Some of the pranks after the first week were getting bigger though, and better, such as the one pulled on James Potter their latest Defence against the Dark Arts teacher, as he was the only one available since the last twenty or so teachers failed, even though James preferred to use his quidditch 'coach' shed for his office. The prank made him fart, but that wasn't what made it funny. It was the squeaky little insane giggling that happened with his farts along with rude joking comments about such farts.

Terry was starting to worry because someone was pulling pranks that were better than any he had pulled lately. The one on his dad was simply the best he had seen in a long time, maybe even better than some of the Weasley twins pranks, which was saying something. His dad had of course, being a veteran pranker himself congratulated his son for the prank.

Terry: 'The Boy-Who-Lived' Potter was a little on edge as all four houses were under attack from an unknown pranker and his dad wanted him to lay off pranking Gryffindor, and he agreed. However, the prankster made NO such agreement, so the pranking continued.

That was when Terry felt his dad was growing suspicious of him. If his dad found out someone was secretly out-pranking him he wasn't going to be very happy. Well, he would be unhappy that Terry and his friends weren't trying to outdo this secret prankster.

It was half way through March when Terry knew he wasn't going to have a good dinner when after he did a quick check for magic (just in case of a prank), he sat down at his usual seat and an explosive fart made his checks explode red, even Ron laughed. However, it was the small red thing that he pulled from under his butt that made the laughing in the hall louder.

"Potter sat on a whoopee cushion!" he heard Draco Malfoy holler from his table. "That's not even magic - CLASSIC!"

Terry grit his teeth in embarrassment and anger as he threw the thing away cussing himself for not thinking of non-magic pranks when he made it so obvious to everyone he always scanned for magic around his food and place at the Gryffindor table. He had always felt so smug to show off that he knew such advanced spells, but that only came back to bite him.

"I can't believe you were got with that," Ron hissed in disgust as the hall went back to what they were doing, and Ron conveniently ignored that he laughed with everyone else, as he always did.

However, moments later everything stopped again as several cream pies exploded at the Hufflepuff table and the hall burst out laughing again. Terry took great satisfaction that Harry had gotten caught by most of the explosion and was covered in custard and cream pie. Though, he was furious because Harry was laughing along with everyone else, which was so annoying that Harry – well, he could take a joke.

Terry then watched Harry using magic to clean off a few more fortunate students around him, being the 'helpful' friend he was before saying something about getting changed as he is covered in too much for simple cleaning spells to be very effective, and he didn't want to stay sticky before he left with a wink to a few girls which caused them to giggle and give him little waves, but Terry didn't have a clue what that was about.

The Boy-Who-Lived always hated pranking Harry as he just laughed it off. However, trying to prank Harry was like trying to prank a Saint. He performed the absolute miracle of avoiding them like it was child's play, and it was infuriating. The few times Terry had pranked Harry it was almost like he let him out of pity. So this new pranker was really good to get Harry unaware, or Harry might not have noticed in time, or – he realised he didn't care.

It was a few minutes into finally settling down and eating, and Terry's thoughts were running rampant through his mind with both annoyance and worry, annoyance at his brother, and worry about the prank pulled on him cluing people in to him having not pulled all the pranks this month when he noticed the pure white foggy smoke pouring into the hall.

Terry frowned as it was only settled around waist level while the students were sitting, but it was very ominous. He looked around to see the hall had stopped and quietened and darkened. Students were whispering hushed to each other, some looking and sounding worried about what kind of prank this might be.

Then it happened, music like from a TV report, (he had taken muggle studies because his mum wanted him to learn a little about muggles and it looked easy). Then in the air a huge floating window with grey, black and white fuzzy static appeared cackling softly with 'no' signal written in red dead centre.

Then the screen flashed and flickered and became static white with a banner of words in black appearing at the bottom with a news reporter voice that muggle-born's would later say sounded like it should be from the late fifties to early sixties. The words looked as if they should have had colour to them and read: 'Nowhere to Hide News', with some kind of logo as the words scrolled from right to left and repeated.

"We apologise for the lack of picture; we are experiencing some technical difficulties!" the 'news' reporter said crisply. Terry looked to Dumbledore to see him just staring in as much awe as all of the students. Someone was replicating a huge TV using magic, and he knew Dumbledore well enough to know he wouldn't like that sort of thing.

"We bring you this special report!" the unseen news reporter continued, the hall now almost completely lit by the screen now captivating everyone's attention as the light had dulled to the screen and fog. "A Mass Pranker has escaped Fairytale Pranking Asylum and is currently on the loose! The last reported pranking was in a school known as Hogwarts! If you see him… be afraid, run, run far away. I cannot stress this enough. He will give you wedgies. They'll be whoopee cushions on every seat; you will not be safe…"

"I'll get you!" laughed a voice in Terry's ear as the screen went quiet. Terry gulped as the hall gasped and turned slowly to see him… the prankster crouched down on his table the fog was now hiding.

He had a wicked grin stretched over his black painted lips outlined red. His hair was the colour of blue flames, long down his back, wild and un-kept. He wore a mask over his pink eyes, bridging over his nose, blue with a bunny-skull look to it, and black shadows of smoke to his eyelids. His coat was hanging to his ankles was white down the centre with purple on the left and pink on the right with a high collar.

He was wearing baggie purple trousers that clashed brilliantly with his coat and an orange shirt under his coat of the same colour with a cartoon rabbit skull with the caption: "err… what's killing you, bub?" and a purple tie tied loosely around his neck.

The - clowns grin stretched wider as Terry in shock threw himself from his seat with a girlish squeal and crashed to the floor causing this stranger to giggle like a small girl might as the fog was falling away from where Terry landed so everyone could see him.

"W-who are you?" Terry near whimpered out as though he could see this thing – this young man; it was obvious magic was afoot, obscuring recognition and warping his voice, making him sound quite intimidating.

"Who me?" he asked in a mocking posh voice as he stood to full height placing his right hand on his chest showing it to be gloved in tight orange leather while the other was purple. "I thought you knew me or something… after all, for the past two weeks you have been taking credit for my beautiful little titbits of fun!"

"Your what?" Ron blurted out, asking dumbly.

The stranger bent over, grinning in his face. "My pranks!" he answered making Ron flinch before standing up again. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am… an adorable prankster, I know, and this may seem like a rip off… but… I am a bit of a Joker!" he laughed at a joke only he seemed to understand before he continued. "No applause necessary, I am but an amazing, prankster extraordinaire!" he said giving a mock bow to all of the nervous students and teachers. "The honour is all yours of course!" he added smugly as he casually side stepped a spell from the teachers table chuckling as he looked over.

"Professor Dumbledore," he said wiggling a finger with a mock disappointed expression. "Now now… what would the Board of Governors think if they discovered you of all people were attacking a student!" he said causing gasps to run through the hall. "Though really… they probably wouldn't do a thing!" he awaited no answer while laughing cheerfully.

"W-what d-do you want?" Hermione Granger stuttered out.

This joker laughed as he looked down at her before stepping off the table and everyone gasped as he didn't fall to the floor but hovered before rising out of the fog on some kind of elongated flat platform in the shape of a playing card with the full colour Joker picture underneath as he floated round, hovering over the Slytherin's for a moment.

"I just wanted to stop…" he said slowly with a satisfied expression. "To stop Terry-boy," he continued adding boy, and making Terry flinch as this joker guy stood up to his full impressive height. "From taking credit where credit is most certainly not due," he laughed as if he told the funniest joke on Earth before stopping abruptly. "If you want a War of the Prank, Mr. Terry-boy… then I accept your challenge Mr. Terry-boy!

"Your calling cards!" Joker finished throwing Terry a pack of cards, and they slammed down near his crutch causing him to gulp, but Terry opened them to find all queens. "My card is… quite obvious. And it took me little time to realise. You act so much more like the diva than the king. So queen it is," he said laughingly, his grin just widening as Terry's face burnt red.

"T-the rules…?" Terry hissed out at the nutter.

"Don't kill anyone!" was all he said as the fog started obscuring the hall and Dumbledore having enough blast a spell through the hall clearing the fog, but the joker guy and the screen was gone.

To Be Continued…