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Chapter 10

War of the Prank

Terry was furious as he stormed around the castle later that next week as he sat at the Gryffindor table. "I very much dislike the nice young Mr. Joker. He has somehow gotten me again, and it took me a while to realise why I was getting laughed at," he said with a polite nod to Hermione.

She raised her eyebrow and found it hard not to laugh. "He jinked you with being polite?"

"I believe so, yes Miss. Hermione," he agreed sadly. "It should wear off very soon."

"Well as pranks go this isn't too bad," she replied giving him a reassuring smile.

He just hung his head whimpering. "I was bleeding…" he began, unsure. "Well, I went to the nurse, and she told me… I was having my… a… a you know… girl problem, but-."

Hermione's eyes first widened as she realised what he was too polite to continue saying. Though, that might be embarrassment. Then she laughed, and laughed, and laughed. She just couldn't stop; she was holding her gut in pain she was laughing so hard. There was a huge part of her that was a bit gleeful that Terry was getting put in his place and shown some humility, but she knew it wouldn't last, so she was going to enjoy it while it lasted and do some hidden teasing, and hope that someday his eyes would open and he would stop being such a prick because she knew he was better deep down.

"Joker!" she laughed out through her pain. "Made you start a menstrual cycle!" she laughed out loud and he had to duck his head too embarrassed when all of the nearby girls burst out laughing with those boys clued in before telling the rest of the boys, and the whole hall was in a laughing fit. It didn't cross his mind that he might have hit or struck out at anyone else who would spread that, accident or not. However, none of the other boys thought they could be next until the next morning when amused girls reminded them that Terry Potter wasn't Joker's only target and that the whole school was fair game, which made them silently decide not to speak of it again and hope for the best.

"To make matters worse," Terry hissed out a little while later after the hall quietened and got back to not making fun of him. "The nurse wouldn't let me skip off for the next week, and she said it would last that long."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "We girls manage just fine," she told him with a light blush to her cheeks as she mildly wondered which end it expelled before she realised, she didn't want to know. "Just think yourself lucky he didn't turn you into a girl!"

Terry quivered and glared at her. "Shut up! Don't give him any ideas. He could be anyone. You heard. He's a student. What the hell can I do? I'm losing this Prank War…"

"War of the Prank," she corrected getting a confused look from him she shrugged. "He named it that remember…?"

"I don't care what it's called," he said startled. "Well, at least the politeness hex has worn off like the nurse said it would," he said, pleased. "But I need help, and you, Ron, and dad just aren't brutal enough to match him. Even Dumbledore's ideas aren't as good – in fact, Dumbledore is really bad at this!"

Hermione shrugged thoughtfully. "Maybe you should seek help from someone who knows how to be more – imaginative?" she suggested in thought. "I hate to admit this, but it has to be someone not really smarter than me – school smarts I mean, but someone who knows how to use magic differently from me as well as being smart. Someone who doesn't just think outside the box, but someone who also mocks the box and takes its lunch money."

"Lunch money?" he asked, confused.

"It's a muggle world thing," she said shrugging. "Kids will take some money or get stamps or whatever for school dinners at non-boarding schools, and – augh; that doesn't matter. You need someone who has the box bowing to them and quivering."

"Enough with the box reference, Hermione!" he demanded desperately while shaking her. "Who the heck are you talking about?"

She shrugged. "Your brother, Harry," she said simply.

"Never," he hissed out in reply, but from her look, he was going to fold – he didn't know how she had such control of him; it was strange, but he internally shrugged, he enjoyed her company, and she didn't whine like a baby like Ron did so it was always refreshing just the two of them.

It was a short while later that Harry had been enjoying a conversation. Sure he was only wearing some swimming shorts with warming charms, and sat legs crossed in the Dark Lake up to his solid looking chest screeching to a cute and slender young mergirl (wearing a merperson made bikini-ish top over her small breasts) in mermish. Her tail was a metallic rainbow of greens and her arms were tinted slightly with long webbed fingers. She was curled up in his arms seemingly in his lap as he stroked her green hair and ran his fingers along her fin-like ears with little rounded spiked tips in five places where they patterned scales along her cheeks when they were disturbed by gasps.

Looking round they saw Terry Potter and Hermione Granger on shore, but Harry shrugged and told his friend that they were just a couple of pawns about to play some games with him, which caused her to giggle as she detected the intent. Then they continued talking as if the other two weren't there, which bothered Hermione and Terry as mermish out of the water to those who didn't understand it sounded terrible, but Hermione was secretly impressed as she knew mermish was an exceptionally difficult language to learn and Harry seemed fluent.

"Harry!" Terry suddenly called in annoyance as he had taken his shoes off, rolled up his trousers and wadded in to him. Harry looked up at him while the mergirl hissed angrily at him making him nervous looking at her teeth, even though they were almost human, but he spoke anyway. "I-I don't like this but… I… I need your help fighting this joker guy!" he blurted out quickly before he chickened out.

Harry's emerald eyes stared at Terry coolly for a moment before smirking. "Hmm… and if I assist you in this matter Terry, or should I say Terry-boy?" he asked causing Terry (as others that didn't obey Dumbledore had started using that nickname) to flinch, but Harry shrugged and continued. "What do I get out of it? After all I am evil… what with enjoying the company of mergirls and human-girls, I must want something…"

"W-whatever you want…" he said quickly in a rush.

"I want to watch Hermione kick you in the nuts ten times as hard as she can," he replied amused at how pale his brother got before laughing, especially as Hermione obviously heard and went scarlet in seconds. "You should never throw around anything as a bargain. It could get you a kick to the nuts or ten," he said before turning to the mergirl as she giggle when he translated as he had been teaching her English, she was getting pretty good, but she had issues when it came to humour, but she was eager to learn.

"Okay-okay, I'll leave you alone. I… I just need one major prank. That's it. I'll even get dad to lay off, deal?" Terry asked desperately.

"Well," Harry replied in thought as a smile came to his lips. "Okay, but… something that big has to be school wide," he said in thought while Terry eagerly nodded. "However, such a prank needs time. It can't be done spare of the moment. Something simple will need at least two weeks, but something spectacular would need, perhaps between six or eight weeks. Eight, or maybe longer if you want it to be… S-class…"

"S…? I want it to be A," Terry interrupted, confused.

"S is the highest class," Hermione suddenly called out surprising Terry as he hadn't realised. "Well, technically people do use SSS, but for this, S wouldn't kill everyone."

"Oh," Terry muttered thoughtfully before nodding readily. "Then I want an S class prank," he said to his brother quickly.

Harry smiled as he spoke to the mergirl for a moment, which caused her to pout but she was only too eager to except his kiss to her lips. This caused embarrassment in both Hermione and Terry as they quickly looked away, neither of them really having realised that Harry really did find mergirls attractive, but Hermione looked back and let her eyes look over the mergirl and forget about her being part fish she surprised herself as she realised that the mergirl was gorgeous.

Moments later Harry and his mergirl pulled apart, said their good byes, surprisingly in English, and she dived under the water and swam away. Harry's chuckle was what caused Terry to look back after Harry had given Hermione a cheeky wink, causing her blush to brighten to see the mergirl gone as Harry stood quite a bit more impressive compared to his shorter and skinny brother, Terry. Hermione tried not to notice how good Harry's body looked and gulped as she chided herself to not let her hormones give way to fantasy until she was alone in bed where that sort of thing belonged.

"This prank calls for some… sneaking," Harry spoke as he grabbed Terry's arm and dragged him back to shore. Terry had thought Harry didn't bring his wand, but it was in a holster around his right calf or he might have tried hexing him for it. "Let's just say what I'm thinking of, and any S rank prank for that matter is something even Dumbledore would disprove of his precious Boy-Who-Lived doing! Are you still in?"

"I'll get Joker good?" Terry asked while Hermione sighed rolling her eyes as they reached her on shore.

"The Ultimate prank," Harry agreed smirking smugly. "It may take a while to set up, but when it's ready to blow… well, Joker…"

"Will bow down before me as Hogwarts' greatest prankster," Terry said giggling. "They'll call me a pranking legend. They'll be stories about my pranking for hundreds of years! No one will ever remember the Weasley twins ever went to Hogwarts."

"Yea… sure, and you're not crazy," Harry replied uncertainly.

Terry glared at him for that while Hermione snorted. "He just doesn't like to lose at this," she half defended him. "So what is your plan for getting back at Joker anyway?"

Harry smirked smugly. "An illusion of some kind, as Joker is the master of illusion, it seems fitting that we beat him with one."

"But that sort of magic is easy isn't it Hermione?" Terry asked looking confused.

She nodded but her words burst his bubble. "Using your wand and creating a localised illusion isn't too hard, like a hologram – I mean living shadows sort of thing, but it does take a lot of mental power to hold the enchantment. However, he's talking more along the idea of seals and runes to make a school wide illusion."

"Oh," Terry said hanging his head. "But couldn't you do that Hermione?" he asked his friend.

She just shook her head sadly. "Sorry, Terry, but I may be able to create the runes, but I'm afraid I'm nowhere near as gifted as him at seals, which annoys me to admit, but I'm also afraid I don't have the imagination, and it will take a great imagination to create an S class illusion stick."

"What's the highest-class Joker's created?" Terry asked in worry.

"High B to low A… which in normal ranking we would probably address as A class… possibly BBB if you want to be a little more precise," Harry answered shrugging but Terry turned a questioning look to Hermione.

"He's right," she agreed nodding. "It was the thing with the fake TV news report and the fog the first day you met."

"But that wasn't a real prank," Terry said smugly.

Harry laughed. "No, but it shows you he has the talent to reach A class pranks, maybe higher," he said in amusement. "Our prank has to be bigger and better than his. But you'll also have to continue with lower level pranks, or he'll beat you before this prank is even ready!"

Terry chewed on his lower lip worriedly. "B-but my side is running low on practical ideas," he said. "Plus, with this Prank War so public it's getting harder each day to not get caught as the other students find ways to protect themselves."

"Then you find new ways to prank them," Harry retorted shrugging. "I always thought you were more stubborn than that."

Terry glared at his 'brother'. "I… it's not that easy you know… the kitchens are guarded by Prefects and the Head Boy and Girl so I can't recruit the House Elves to help me spike food and drink anymore, and Snape has made sure we can't make much in the way of potions because of a couple little errors. What the hell can I do to get some good pranks in?"

"Start pranking those who won't expect it from you," Harry replied with an amused shrug.

Terry looked at him in confusion. "But everyone expects me to prank them."

"Everyone but Gryffindor," Harry replied smugly causing Terry's eyes to widen in surprise. "Just think. You could hit them all in one go at dinner anytime you want; you could potentially hit them all – maybe even get the whole school at once. Remember, for it to count it has to be public domain."

"B-but I-I can't prank Gryffindor," he said shakily. "If-if I do… I have to live with them. I may be the Boy-Who-Lived, but they'll lynch me."

"If they can't take a joke…" Harry said while looking unconcerned. "Well… it'll just show how petty your house is. I don't think you're giving them enough credit. They're mostly followers, and in their twisted minds you're like the second coming of Christ. To most of Gryffindor you can do NO wrong! To the rest… who cares? They're only a very small minority."

"A minority that sides with you," Hermione spoke suspiciously. "How do we know you're not trying to manipulate Terry into alienating them further?"

Harry laughed as they both waited for an answer. "You don't," he said shrugging. "But if you don't want to alienate them then Terry should ditch Ron, and stop being a prick!"

"Told you others think like that too," Hermione cut in smugly smiling at Terry. "You said it's just my imagination that Ron's a bad influence," she said ignoring the prick comment and hoping Terry forgot about it. "That's why we don't hang out as much as we used too. He's holding you back. And that crap you and he pulled with Rose. What were you thinking?"

"But he's my best mate," Terry defended.

Harry snorted. "He'll be your dead best mate if he touches Rosie again!" he sneered causing both Gryffindor's to flinch at the red hue in his emerald eyes before it faded away. "Well, anyway, you two need to prank your house and whatever, and leave your calling card, so get planning how to pull it off. I'll go and draw up some plans for the seal array. Oh, and Terry, keep your pet Ronald on a leash around me or I may change my mind."

Terry sighed and nodded his head. "I still don't get why I can't change my 'calling cards' to kings," he grumbled as Harry, still bare foot and only wearing shorts left for the castle. "And what's the deal with him and that mergirl. Is he really dating a mergirl?"

Hermione just shrugged. "I don't know, and honestly I don't much care."

"But… isn't that wrong?" he asked in confusion.

Hermione sighed and shook her head. "My honest opinion on the matter is no. After all, Hagrid's not human and he's our friend. Well… not Ron's anymore after the whole thing with insulting Fleur and other, 'sub-humans'," she said rolling her eyes.

Terry sighed tiredly shaking his head. "Well, I'll admit I sometimes wonder whether Ron knows how to sensor his thoughts."

To Be Continued…