This fifth non-canon review storyline focuses on RWBY reviewing on a special, yet actually horrible, cheap, problematic and nightmarish, sci-fi ripoff movie that Ruby and Yang had bought with several other movies they'll review later, which may bring team RWBY to their breaking point to this awful movie. Meanwhile, Salem and Cinder is looking for the same movie (with the last copy already sold to RWBY which they don't know), but will they find it?

Warning: For those who don't know about the special ripoff movie, I recommend you DON'T watch it, because it's one of the WORST movies I have ever seen.

Original Story and Entirely Written by Myself

HMV

At HMV in Vale, Salem and Cinder come over to the cashier as the latter asks, "Hello, how may I help you today?"

"I'm looking for a specific 1980's sci-fi horror ripoff movie that we find to be interesting.", Salem politely says.

Cinder asked, "Do you have any in stock?"

"Oh, that bad movie? Gee, sorry about that. They only have about 10 copies around Remnant, and we just sold our last one just 30 minutes ago. Is there anything else I'd like to help you with? We have a Buy 6, Get 5 Free deal for one day only which is today.", apologized the HMV cashier.

Salem sighs angrily by breathing out, "...Arthur."

"They don't have it here. Let's just get another bad movie then. I don't want to wait around all day.", impatiently says Cinder.

The goddess grabs Cinder by the hand saying, "Let's go! I wanna find out who stole that movie I want...", beratingly before the two rush out of the store.

"Okay...bye now.", the cashier only says during this.

But what they didn't know, Ruby and Yang were just there 30 minutes ago.


BEACON ACADEMY

In RWBY's dorm room, Blake and Weiss were both taking a nap romantically before Ruby and Yang suddenly come in, waking the two up.

"Girls! Wake up!", Ruby and Yang surprised.

Blake and Weiss answer, "Ruby, Yang, we just finished having sex fifteen minutes ago. Where have you been?"

"The HMV store at town had a Buy 6, Get 5 Free deal! And we've got over a dozen movies for reviewing later on!", Ruby first said.

Yang mentions, "Some good, some bad too. These movies cost over $30, while five of the rest were free."

"What are the movies? And what are we watching and reviewing for today?", Blake and Weiss both said, interested.

Ruby pulls out the movies and goes through them, "Here we here Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice, Cool World, Monkeybone, Spawn, Catwoman, the 2016 Ghostbusters, The King and I, The Swan Princess, Jem and the Holograms, Cat in the Hat, and last but not least-"

That was when the four girls look surprisingly shocked to see the final movie they got from HMV was the last copy of the 1980's sci-fi horror ripoff movie Salem and Cinder were searching for.

Alien 2: On Earth.

Looking at the caseart for a couple moments of fear and suspense, the girls have a matter of time whether to not watch it or-

"Ah, heck with it. We saw the first two alien movies, Alien and Aliens. Let's review on it and see what the movie is.", Ruby ignores this, the team RWBY then agreeing to review on the ripoff.

A Special Episode of RWBY's Commentary - Alien 2: On Earth (Part 1)

"Hello, I'm Ruby, and these are our friends Yang, Blake and Weiss. We remember it, so you don't have to. First off, this movie we're about to review is a ripoff to the classic, memorable and extraordinary sci-fi horrors Alien and Aliens, directed by Ridley Scott and James Cameron, respectively. However one year after the first Alien was released, Italian director-writer Ciro Ippolito, also known as knockoff Sam Cromwell, wanted to make an unauthorized imitation of the sequel before Aliens was made six years later after Alien."

Yang also told, "And like Foodfight's $65,000,000 budget, this ripoff only has 400,000,000 Italian Lira converting to only a budget of $240,000 in US currency! We mean, it's cheaper than the $9-10 million dollar budget the first Alien has! Are-are these creators of this movie cheap!"

"Even this movie doesn't even have the same creation like the Alien series or doesn't even have Sigourney Weaver that we know and love, and puts everything about the first two actual films in the actual series into garbage! So, let's start off this review, shall we?", asks Blake and Weiss, starting their review.

Alien 2: On Earth (Sulla Terra)

Ruby chuckles, "Sulla Terra. It's italian for On Earth.", before starting, "So the movie starts off with the world waiting for the astronauts in the first movie to return, but even though the first Alien took place in 2154, this takes place in 1980! So anyway, we are also introduced to a woman named Thelma Joyce and her husband Roy, and the woman appeared on a television interview discussing about caves.", the scenes showing the opening and the woman having the interview, but she suddenly felt a headache of some sort.

"Oh, is there something wrong there? Do you like Tylenol? Get back to normal whatever your normal is? Or Advil? Advil and go?", Yang asks, holding the two medicines, the scene showing Thelma talking to Roy and another that it wasn't a headache but something else. "Hallucinative headache...?"

Blake then says, "So after the interview, Thelma and Roy decide to go to the beach and meet a few friends of theirs. Then they decide that they should go to the caves and investigate there. Because there was something up or something bad was about to happen...?"

"The two even go to the bowling alley where they meet their friends there, and they agree to go with them to the caves. The black guy there too was the only funny part in the entire movie, to be honest. No offence.", Weiss spoke the next part, the scene showing the bowling alley and the black guy.

Ruby then says, "However meanwhile, a young girl finds a strange blue and pulsating rock at the beach. But when her mother finds her and asks if she was okay, the unthinkable first jumpscare happens...", the next part of the movie showing the mother finding her child, turning her head around as she then screams, revealing that the girl's face was horribly ripped off! The four team members jumped, saying, "What the fuck's that!?"

"This is one of the worst first jumpscares in a sci-fi horror! Seriously? The makeup in that scene looks like her face was covered with a few pounds of salami and meat together, and covered with shimmering tomato and spaghetti sauces! Those Italian moviemakers! But we don't hate you for that, your delicacies and sights though, Italy, no offence too though. Only this movie.", Yang criticized.

Blake then continues the story, "So the group goes on a road trip to the caves and stopped by a roadside cafe, buying food and putting on their caving gear. But unfortunately, one of Thelma's friends Burt finds another strange rock outside the cafe. If I was in the movie, I'd be like, Warning, do not bring rock. If so, bring it to the incinerator or nearest volcano and burn it to ashes and smithereens! Warning, do not bring rock! But he decides to bring it with the gang anyway, which was a WRONG choice that he should take back."

"So Thelma, Roy and their friends continue on their road trip to the caves, which they did, and they went in. They also seem to find a bottomless-like pit below, which looks like the gateway of terror to us, and then they rappeled down deep within the cave, with some of the most unfitting rock music ever in the film. Trust us, if either AC/DC, Jon Bovi or Metallica worked on the music instead of the cheesy-sounding Oliver Onions rock band music that's in this fucking movie.", Weiss considered.

Ruby then says the next part of the story, "The group then decide to camp in the deep caves for the night. Because it's...what campers do during underground field trips... Basically?", this scene then showing Thelma telling Roy that something horrible is about to happen. "Ah, that's bullshit, Thelma, it won't happen...unless if it has to do with the strange rock Burt found earlier."

"However one of Thelma's friends Jill decides to look around the cave, but unfortunately discovers the strange rock that Burt WRONGFULLY chooses to bring, now blue and pulsating like the one earlier with the girl at the beach.", Yang synopsizes, showing the scene with Jill seeing the strange blue rock pulsating. "Uh oh...when the rock's blue and pulsating, that means...", she then said, before the scene shows the small alien inside of the rock coming out towards the screen, attacking Jill in the movie, and also scaring the four girls watching this as they jump, "What's that!?"

Blake nonetheless continues, "Sooner or later, Thelma strangely discovers the scene of the attack and then lets out cries for help toward the darkness.", the next scene with Thelma panicking and saying "Answer me!", which the Faunus girl then says, "Oh, I'm sorry, we can't take your call right now with that kind of sentence. Please leave a message after the beep and we'll get right back to you.", with Weiss, Ruby and Yang giggling in agreement.

"It was then the group finds Jill's body and they all decided to help get her out of the caves with the help of one of Thelma's friends Phil. But what they didn't know, the unthinkable scariness was about to happen...", Weiss then said, the next scenes showing the group finding Jill unconscious and Phil helping bring her up the caves.

Then a few moments of the next scary scene were shown, the camera shot scrolling to the left as it shows Jill's lying body, and all of a sudden, something slowly comes out of Jill's face in a bloodied fashion, it's silhouette opening it's mouth like a horrible creature and makes a sound.

This startles the four girls watching this scene, team RWBY asking, "What in the...?", the movie scene showing Phil turning around and his eyes widen to the sight, before the small alien lunges towards the screen and attacks Phil's neck as he screams!

The four girls jumped in fright and hid behind their commentary chairs in fear as they peek to see this scene, Phil screaming as the alien was somehow slicing his neck whilst attached to it and moving horribly, with the worst blood and gore effects in the movie shown! Phil falls backwards during this scene and hanged upside-down as Thelma, Roy and their friends watch in horror, Phil screaming a bit more upside-down with the alien slicing his neck, before he dies!

As when team RWBY thought that the scene was over and stood up from hiding, the four had the urge to cover their eyes from the sight as the dead Phil's head, now covered in blood and the small alien gone, suddenly and slowly falls off from his body, onto the ground near Thelma, Roy and their friends are!

Ruby pauses the movie successfully whilst covering her eyes, before the four girls open them and saw the paused part with Phil's decapitated head lying on the ground in the movie, as the leader of the team says, "Okay...that...", before she, Yang, Blake and Weiss felt both nauseous and dizzy, "...was...too scary...", the four girls suddenly fainting from the horrible scene, unconscious.


SALEM'S CASTLE

Salem and Cinder arrive back at the former's castle to see Arthur, who was at the table reading a book while putting his feet on the table.

"Oh hello, girls. So how was your day going?", smirked Arthur.

Salem then grabs Arthur by the collar and asks seriously, "Arthur, did you buy the last copy of the ripoff movie I'm looking for? Tell me the truth."

"We-well, I haven't bought a single movie since a few days ago. Why would I steal the last copy? What movie was it?", Arthur gulps and asks unfazed.

Cinder tells him, "Alien 2: On Earth! The cashier said there were only 10 copies around Remnant. Now tell me, do you have it...?", threateningly.

"Uh...no. I'm sorry you didn't find that movie of yours that you want to find. Why don't you just watch Alien, Aliens or Predator?", suggests Arthur, holding out three Blu-rays of those movies.

The goddess Salem then threats Arthur supportingly, "WHERE. Is it?", the latter dropping the three movies.

"I honestly haven't seen it. Now, I suggest you should check the HMV at Remnant again. A new shipment of movies have come just an hour ago since you left. Maybe they may have one more copy.", Arthur told her.

Salem thought to herself out loud supposedly, "There again? We believe it's Ruby and her friends. They must've got the last copy... Wait. No. Them watching that movie is a nightmare for them. They wouldn't watch that. If you're right, Arthur, no thanks. And if you're wrong..."

"...you're gonna get it.", Cinder threats angrily with a fist motion, before she and Salem then left the room leaving Arthur alone again.

Arthur sighs, "Well, that was intense. Now, to continue reading my book...", resuming reading.

To be continued...