Update: I was originally gonna have Scarlet (from Star Darlings) to have a major appearance in this review episode, but I've decided to switch her with Maka Albarn (from Soul Eater) as a character change, due to developments on other stories focusing on other characters set in the same universe, The Critique Universe. Sorry for the news.
In this sixth non-canon (crossover) story, Ruby and Yang, as well as a certain guest character from Soul Eater and a new friend, Maka Albarn, discuss arguably with Vernal (from Volume 5), about the crossover everybody wanted but no one returned to see again, Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice, in the best mashup crossover of Rooster Teeth's RWBY and Soul Eater together.
My final episode before I take a break to make my Christmas crossover sequel, resuming in January 2018.
Ruby, Yang and Maka Albarn's Commentary of Batman V Superman (Part 1)
MISTRAL
At the bar, a short-brown-haired woman, Vernal, was having a drink at the counter, before the two heard a door open and they were surprised to see the visitors.
It was team RWBY, Ruby, Yang, Blake and Weiss, as well as two particularly special guest characters from Soul Eater, Maka Albarn and Tsubaki Nakatsukasa (who will both appear with other Soul Eater characters in another rage-fueled review spinoff story in The Critique Universe focusing on gaming), all six glaring angrily at Vernal.
"Hey, girls. What's up?", greeted Vernal un-appalled.
Maka Albarn cracks her knuckles as Ruby and Yang told Blake, Weiss and Maka's girlfriend Tsubaki Nakatsukasa, "Wait outside. This might take a while.", before the two sisters as well as the two-star meister, take three seats on the other side of the counter, who all look angrily with glares towards Vernal.
"So, you want to talk to me about a certain movie that seems like a prequel to DC Avengers Part 1, which accomplishes what Marvel did with several movies with just one movie with the same results?", Vernal presumed.
Ruby and Yang gritted, "We'd rather we saw a good Batman Superman movie..."
"What? I thought you girls liked it?", the maiden grinned.
The leader of RWBY answered firmly, "NO."
"Kinda.", rated Maka so-so.
Vernal says, "Well then, you three didn't like it?"
"No.", Ruby and Yang answer again.
Maka said, "KINDA!"
"Well, what's the problem anyway?", the maiden asks.
The two-star meister proves her point, "People have been waiting years to see this team up."
"And the choices that they made were so...so...", both Ruby and Yang pointed out.
The taupe-haired meister finished for the two sisters, "...DC."
"This is arguably the most anticipated comic-book movie of all time, in that people have been waiting to see it before it was even announced. There have been several comics where Batman and Superman are together, as well as cartoons. But, despite there being tons of Batman and Superman movie there had never been one with them together. However, with the Marvel crossovers proving to be exceptionally successful, DC felt it was time to throw their hat into the ring and use this as a means to start their own DC cinematic universe. Despite it's very strong opening, it's box office dropped a shocking 68% the following weekend. How bad is that? Batman and Robin's second weekend had a 63% drop. Wow. That means more people went back to see that film rather than Batman vs Superman. What the hell have you done, Zack?", said Ruby and Yang together.
Vernal noted, "Alright, why don't you start off the beginning of the film please?"
"Alright. We can go with that.", agreed Maka, as Ruby and Yang pull out the Blu-Ray DVD of Batman V Superman, putting the disc in the bar TV's DVD player.
She told the three, "Did you know the opening was a few minutes from Batman Begins."
"EXACTLY!", Ruby, Maka and Yang said altogether.
Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice
SPOILERS AHEAD (I don't own anything)
Ruby and Yang start off, "After seeing a flashback we've seen done so much we're surprised there's not even action figures of it, we cut to another flashback of Bruce Wayne driving through Metropolis when it was being destroyed by Zod in the events of Man of Steel, as a friend of Bruce's was killed during that battle, and Bruce plans to avenge his friend and as well as all the lives that acknowledge that it may be Superman's fault!"
"Flash forward a year later as thank god, Lois Lane finds out Clark Kent is Superman, and they discussed their future together after the hero saved her from terrorists in the desert. What's that about with Zack, Vernal?", continued the meister Maka and asks her.
Vernal replied, "Well, if you can't see how they would mistake Superman shooting people to death..."
"Yeah, who did you think he is, Batman?", Ruby and Yang sarcastically questioned.
The girl answers back, "I don't think I should have to explain the obvious. Besides, this leads to a very deep conversation, with a love-making bathtub session...", tenderly and intimately for the last part of her sentence, which disgusts Ruby, Maka and Yang.
"But it looks like one of the people intimidated by Superman is Lex Luthor, played remarkably without an apology by Jesse Eisenberg. Lex wants to have access to Zod's ship after he had discovered Kryptonite.", Ruby and Yang both continue.
The brown-haired girl sighs, "Okay, so what's the problem? Come on.", in disappointment. "Plain mediocre..."
"...I'm gonna!", Maka threatens to Vernal, before Ruby and Yang help calm her and sit back down.
The red-black leader Ruby mutters to the taupe-haired meister Maka, "Let me and my sis handle this.", before she says to Vernal, "First, Jesse Eisenberg. Second, if Superman took down military satellites trying to track him, why the hell didn't he take Zod's ship a weapon from Krypton away from them?"
"Third, Jesse Eisenberg," adds Maka, "Fourth, there's no reason for Luthor to hate Superman here. In the comics and movies Superman foils his evil plans constantly so it makes sense to try and kill him. But in this movie, if anything Lex Luthor benefits Superman as he said he has contracts to rebuild everything that was destroyed. His motivations are completely backward!"
Vernal tells them, "Well like everyone else, he's afraid of Superman's massive power and ability to destroy.", which Ruby, Yang and Maka's jaws drop in arguable confusion.
"He makes Doomsday later! That's like five Supermans with a fist for a brain!", argued Ruby and Yang.
Maka asks Ruby and Yang, "And what was that other thing, girls?"
"Oh, yeah, Maka!", Ruby and Yang replied.
All three girls then told Vernal, "JESSE EISENBERG!", pointing this out.
"Whether you want to call him Lex Luthor Jr, or whatever this is a beyond awkward performance.", Ruby spoke.
Maka includes, "Even at his corniest, Lex is a powerful charming diabolical mastermind. He always had a cool attitude, a business type mindset and a suave calculating demeanor."
"But in this movie, again, this guy is more like Roger Rabbit if he was a super villain.", afterwards commented Yang.
Vernal says, "But at least he introduced Clark Kent to Bruce Wayne. That will really get them hating each other."
"Yeah, but why?", Ruby questions. "We have a vague understanding on why Batman hates Superman but there is no reason Superman should hate Batman."
Yang also mentions, "This also follows a dream sequence which involves subplots, future characters, things you don't understand yet so it must be clearer, and the motivations of the next film are being figured out before the motivations of this film."
"It gets even weirder when Batman is chasing down who have the kryptonite and Superman stops him right in his tracks for pretty much no reason.", discusses Maka.
Ruby nods, "Yeah! Batman would be like, Tell me, do you bleed? Then Superman would fly off as he would say, You didn't answer my question, do you bleed? You will. Funny, huh?"
"Mm-hmm! Superman would ask, What did you say? and Batman would be like Nothing. Nothing. and the other would fly off, but not before he wrecks Batman's Batmobile!", the two-star meister Maka joked, before she, Ruby and Yang died with laughter.
Yang giggles during this, "Oh, real mature, he would say!"
"Okay, I'm gonna go to the restroom for a bit. I don't wanna listen to your joke any longer. I'll be back in a minute.", disagreed Vernal, going to the bar's restroom for a bit, while the third girls were continuing to happily giggle to their joke.
To be continued...
