A/N: I'm back. My apologies for time constraints that has put upon the fanfic so far.
In this eighth non-canon review, RWBY reviews the Stephen King-directed-and-written 1986 film he made, Maximum Overdrive. But during the Halloween season, a familiar Huntress makes a visit.
Team RWBY had came back to their dorm for the day, and on that day it was October 31st, Halloween day. They had also bought Maximum Overdrive to watch and review for the special holiday occasion, with their room decorated with Halloween-colored decor.
Once they got to their commentary chairs and sat, Ruby says, "Hello, I'm Ruby!"
"I'm Yang!"
"I'm Blake!"
"And I'm Weiss!"
"We remember it so you don't have to. It's the month of Halloween, and you know what that means? It's time to celebrate a great writer with his worst work; IT'S STEPHEN KING TIME!", Ruby said while she, Yang, Blake and Weiss said the last sentence altogether.
Stephen King Time!
Yang introduced, "There's no dount that Stephen King is spectacular when he's good, but for some strange reason, he's more spectacular when he's bad. At least, when it comes to his film adaptations."
"And what better way to start off that the film he had 100% control of, Maximum Overdrive!", Blake and Weiss announce.
Maximum Overdrive
Ruby states, "This is the only Stephen King story that Stephen King himself directed. Hell, he glories the fact that he directed it! Look at the trailer for example.", mentioning the trailer with Stephen King's original statement during the movie trailer.
"That's right, there's no arguing someone interpreted it wrong. No claiming that filmmakers just don't understand King. No saying that Stephen King's work should be transferred to the cinematic world. Or that Stephen King himself wouldn't like it. This time around, there's no excuse.", Yang considers.
Blake considers, "This is the only time we'll ever see Stephen King on Stephen King. That is, until Tumblr was born."
"So let's sit back and see Stephen King done right and scare the hell out of us, this is Maximum Overdrive.", Weiss started off this time.
RWBY's Commentary of Maximum Overdrive (Part 1)
The leader of team RWBY began, "Of course, it's only fitting than an author starts off this visual medium with a butt-ton of reading. Let's see...comet...tail...eight days... Does it give us a reason why the Earth is emitting a broccoli fart at the same time?"
"And fittingly, again, King starts off his adaptation by doing what most Stephen King adaptations do, saying FUCK YOU to the audience!", Yang clarifies, "Wow, he just cuts to the chase, doesn't he? Even King himself gets his customary cameo out of the way."
The Faunus and the Schnee both said as the four saw a scene with King's cameo noticing the ATM he was using was programming the word 'asshole' numerous times, "Obviously, it watched Under the Dome!", before continuing, "As the credits roll, we see all sorts of chaos go on as tons of machines come to life and cause gigantic destruction after gigantic destruction. The only thing that could possibly be more awesome than that? The greatest credit ever put on any film anywhere.", as RWBY then saw the credit 'Music by AC/DC' during the opening.
"My god, we had no idea what they had to do with Stephen King, but we are 100% behind that credit! It also makes up for this one.", said Ruby in amazement, mentioning the Emilio Estevez's name in the opening credits; "Though, if somewhere in this movie, AC/DC decides to coach a hockey team like The Mighty Ducks, we wouldn't be against it."
Yang resumes the story, "We then see a gas station where by far the strangest fucking toy truck you've ever seen in your life pulls in.", the next part showing the truck driver arriving to the gas station with a toy truck with a head of the Green Goblin on the front of it, asking the mechanic there if he likes it, "Well, if the point of your toy company was to scare the apple juice piss of Little Monsters out of your clientele, then, yeah, we'd say you got a winner! Though, to be fair, it is scarier than anything in the Spider-Man Sam Raimi movies."
"While filling up on his...nine dollars for fifteen gallons of gas? Fuck you, 1987! One of the truck stop attendants, played by Emilio Estevez, talks to his boss, played by Pat Hingle.", Blake mentioned, the scene where Emilio's character Billy was assigned by his boss Bubba to work for nine hours and the boss saying Billy's position either belongs to him or North Carolina, "Really? A gold star means you're on parole? What do convicted pedophiles get? A Dora the Explorer sticker?"
Weiss says as the same scene has Bubba chuckling and laughing hysterically, "I bet that asshole would be like, 'I just realized I'm in a Stephen King film, so I can act however I want, and it'll fly!', and then he'll laugh his ass off!", as this joke causing the other three to laugh as the white-haired huntress continued, "But within the truck stop, a young Debra Wilson in drag notices the machines are acting up.", the next part with a patron playing a video game called Star Castle.
"Ah, the 80's. When wearing a Twinkie in your hat would raise no questions whatsoever. Apart from 'Why the fuck do you have a Twinkie in your hat?'", Ruby fantasized before saying, "Sure enough, other machines start acting up, too. An electric knife cuts someone, vending machines spill all over the place, and yes, there is even death by soda.", the following snippet showing a baseball coach getting killed by a vending machine which fatally hit him with soda cans, as Ruby commented, "I think the coach should say, 'At least I'm leaving behind a hilarious obituary'."
Yang summarizes, "A little boy tries to get away from Stephen King's second killer cola machine he's ever written.", referencing one of Stephen King's other adaptations The Tommyknockers with it using another killer cola machine, "Seriously, was it so good the first time, it had to be repeated? And we see another boy get run over by a steamroller.", the four girls seeing the part where the boy was killed by the steamroller.
"Now there is a controversial cut here where it said in the original, the boy's head actually explodes, but it was too much for an R rating.", Blake informs, "Well, in honor of some people's sick obsession with violence we should probably question more... Fuck it. We're gonna show you the one frame that made it into the film!", as the same scene with an extra gory shot not clearly seen when the boy was killed by the steamroller.
Weiss disgusted, "I think we can see his eyeballs shoot through his brain!", gagging once politely as she said, "If I had Emma, I would read it without seeing the gory parts.", synopsizing after, "We then see a hitchhiker, played by the dollar store version of Molly Ringwald, Laura Harrington, pull into the truck stop as the radio says everyone should get off the road. Why? Well, judging by this couple, it's because Haley Joel Osment is inbreeding. That's the only way you can explain why he somehow became two people."
"And that's Yeardley Smith, by the way, the voice of Lisa Simpson. And if you think her character on that show can be annoying, take a listen to some of this.", adds the leader of team RWBY, seeing this scene with Yeardley's character Connie, as the four watch through several parts of this scene with the character's annoying lines and screams; creeped out, Ruby said, "You know, suddenly the idea of slitting my throat with her spiky hair doesn't sound that bad. But I don't wanna go all suicidal on that. Stephen King just wanted to do Stephen King right."
Ruby's sister confides, "Don't think about suicide, sis. We have pain for this scene too.", as she resumes, "They end up driving towards the truck stop where our heroes are at, who are checking out to see if the trucks themselves have apparently come alive.", the four seeing an intense scene with Emilio's character about to check the curtain behind the driver's seat, "Be careful! That jack-in-the-box they forgot to crop out might ruin the scare.", as Billy in the movie checks behind the curtain, revealing to be a Green Goblin-like Jack-in-the-Box; "Up, no. It would've been ruined even without it.", while the following scene shows the toy truck viewing two of the characters by turning its rear view window.
"So, the truck has to adjust its rear view mirror in order to see them? Umm... We wouldn't mind so much the idea that trucks have eyes and are somehow in the driver's seat area, but...do you have to do it on the only truck in the goddamn movie that literally has eyes? Isn't that kind of throwing the truck anatomy off a bit?", confused the Faunus, "But the little boy version of Kim Griest rides around the neighborhood, realizing that technology has officially come alive and is killing people. Even a toy car somehow apparently killed a dog...you explain that one."
The Schnee reacts when the four see the boy outrunning a lawnmower chasing him, but not before it cuts to the next scene as she scoffed; "Well, that ended abruptly. It's almost like Stephen King looked this scene over and said, 'O-kay, an ice cream truck and a lawnmower are the villains in this scene and...eh, this is stupid.' But I guess that can't be as silly as Christine and friends starting to run over people at the truck stop.", the following scene showing one character at the truck stop getting run over by a truck.
"You know, it's one thing if machines just, out of the blue, came to life. But how the hell is something as random as a comet supposed to give a soul to modern-day appliances?!", Ruby and Yang discussed the problem, "We mean it's like if we took something extremely treasury or ate something edible like a rainbow cake for example, something bad might happen!"
When she said this, the four heard a sound and turned to their left at the near big coffee table in the dorm room, where a rainbow-like icing-decorated cake was on the table.
"...which is...suddenly right next to us.", Blake and Weiss noticed.
Ruby hesitates, "Which is probably cool now, so we'll eat it another day after Halloween."
The four turn to the table again to see a mysterious feline-like orange tail was seen from the edge of the table, pushing the cake forward for an attempt of interest.
"Or...maybe we'll eat it later today.", Yang shrugs.
The tail taps the table eagerly by the cake, seemingly disagreeing with Yang's guess.
Blake puzzled, "After the review...?"
The tail twirled as a 'go on' gesture.
"While talking about the cinematic version of Stephen King playing with his Hot Wheels?", queries Weiss.
The tail wagged back and forth by this correct answer before it disappears beneath the table.
Ruby smiled, "Hey! Thanks, disembodied tail to which your origin we know not!", the four girls grabbing the cake, cutting it into four pieces, were about to eat the rainbow cake with plates and forks-
BLAM!
The cake suddenly burst into confetti!
Yang was now holding Ruby in her arms as well as Blake holding Weiss after the cake slices exploded.
"WHAT THE HELL?", team RWBY exclaims.
Someone then drops down in front of them in the dorm room revealing to be a member of Atlas' team FNKI, Neon Katt, as she is the one with the feline tail moments earlier.
Neon says, "Never miss a beat and never fear, Neon Katt is here! Happy Halloween!"
"Hey, we remember you! You were one of the huntresses who attended in the Vytal Festival Tournament in team FNKI from Atlas!", Ruby and Yang both said.
The Atlas Faunus says, "Correct. Sorry about the prank I did with the cake, and my intrusion and all, but I was hoping if I could count myself in with the review you guys are doing. I'm heard that you having been reviewing good and/or bad movies in your spare time, and I was hoping if I make an appearance."
"Well...okay, then. But once in a while.", Blake and Weiss allows, "We're reviewing Maximum Overdrive by Stephen King."
Neon nods, "Oh, yes. Stephen King. You learn to love the tropes after the first 20 books, as you guys will learn to love them, RWBY."
"But we don't want to love his tropes, we want to make fun of them.", the leader of team RWBY said.
Neon smirks a cat smile, "Oh, really? But you must. Behold Stephen King trope #127, the religious nut."
"Oh, jeez. You wanna bet he's runs into all the red-necked characters, right?", Ruby's big sister groans.
The feline Faunus asked, "How did you four know about trope #1627?"
"Because that's all his characters are either a country bumpkin or a blood-sucking Christian!", the black-haired Faunus answered.
Neon continues, "Well, surely you four don't know trope #36498-"
"The religious nut dies?", guesses the Schnee.
The Atlas Faunus nods, "Yes, that's the one.", as a scene from the movie plays the trope.
"Well, of course he does it happens to him in all his movies!", Ruby says.
Neon includes, "But are you aware of trope #385-"
"The obvious symbolism of hypocritical faith?", answers Yang.
"Maybe."
"Yes?"
"Yes."
Blake said, "Look, just because people accept a trope over and over and over that doesn't make it good if anything, it makes it worse."
"You four may say that now, RWBY. But just like a Will Ferrell performance, you will learn to love it, hate it, love it, and then forget you ever saw it in the first place.", grins Neon.
Weiss bets, "Well, we look forward to that part."
"Your defenses will lower, RWBY. I'll be there when they do. And I'll never...miss...a beat.", the Atlas Faunus smirks, "But first, I need to use your restroom for a minute.", as the four saw her move towards to the right door.
Ruby resumed, "Hmph. So like we said-"
The four turn to their right again to see Neon enter the room again due to the door she entered was the exit of their dorm room, and she walks over to the other door where the bathroom is, saying, "Sorry. Wrong door. Never miss a beat!", chuckling as the four members of team RWBY groaned in irritation.
"So like we said before, the religious nut is run over by the toy truck, which, despite being an over-the-top drawing of a clown, it still somehow gets a more subtle performance than Tim Curry from It.", continued Ruby.
Yang describes the next part, "Everyone tries to figure out what to do...while, I think, this guy went into a coma on screen, as the trucks actually start to circle the gas station."
"Nothing more frightening than delivery trucks playing Ring Around the Rosies.", commented Blake when they watched the trucks in the movie circle around the gas station, "They'd be singing, Here we go 'round the idiot stop, It's loaded with fops, whose IQ's have dropped, I think you'll need some peppermint Schnapps, to get through this damn movie!"
Weiss synopsized, "Meanwhile, our newly-deads aren't having much luck, as they're being chased down by other evil Herbies from The Love Bug.", considering afterwards, "I would be way funny if they added, 'Zuul, mothertrucker! ZUUL!'", and saying when Curtis in the movie told his girlfriend Connie to hang on as he tries escaping the truck chasing them on the highway, "Yeah, hang on while I veer comfortably to the right. That'll lose 'em.", before the truck chasing them in the movie goes off-road and explodes.
"Huh. I guess that comment made them extra sensitive to blow up over grassy hills.", Ruby commented at this part, before adding when Curtis in the movie told Connie they will be able to get help at the truck stop, "Well, it is a truck stop, and we do need to stop trucks.", before an audience booing sound effect was heard as she, Yang, Blake and Weiss all explain, "You're just jealous because you didn't think of it first!", while she also synopsized, "Unfortunately, the sinister six-wheelers aren't letting up, so our heroes go out to help Squint and Squintier get inside.", the next movie scene showing Bubba suddenly holding a rocket launcher.
Yang reacted, "WHAT THE FUCK?", as Bubba in this scene fires the rocket blowing the truck up; "Good thing I had that missile on cloak so nobody would see it hit the truck!", as the scene shows Bubba firing another rocket at another truck, exploding with toilet paper rolls flying out, all while the girls react except for Weiss, who was reading a book for a moment.
"I bet one of the trucks would be like, 'Just keep circling; don't let them know it bothers us', if you know what I mean?", Blake joked as they watched another part of the scene with the trucks circling still, "So it's revealed that under the truck stop, there's a shit ton of firearms that they never knew about."
"Good...thing those machines weren't somehow affected. I mean, seriously, there's a gun that starts shooting off later, and yet, somehow none of these devices are affected by the comet? What sense does that make?", Weiss questioned.
All of a sudden, Neon Katt springs into the room once again, surprising the girls.
"Hey-o!", the Atlas Faunus said, shocking the girls, "In case you're wondering, there is a reason that guns aren't alive in this one. Some machines are affected more slowly, and those with simpler parts and mechanics-"
Ruby halts, "Wait a minute, wait a minute. Is this like justifying the clown and the spider in It with this complicated backstory when really, Stephen King just wanted a reason to use a clown and a spider in It?"
"No, the spider in It is really plain and simple to understand.", answered Neon.
Yang suspiciously asked, "Oh, yeah? What is it?"
"There is a void surrounding the universe known as the Macroverse.", explained the FNKI member about the Stephen King lore.
Blake and Weiss said, "Your first sentence isn't even over and already we can't follow it."
"No, really. It's super easy to follow, because I'm surprised they left it out of the movie. It's natural enemy is the turtle- Well, not just any turtle. The Turtle that created the universe, as well as others. But that's another really easy story to follow.", droned Neon Katt.
Ruby sighs, "Ah, for Oum's sake, we'll be right back after this common sense explanation takes place."
Neon droned on off-topic as the four members of team RWBY listened uninterestingly, "And the next thing we knew, Master Splinter raised them, and they developed a machine by, of course, Donatello, because he's the smartest one. Everyone knows that..."
To be continued...
