a/n: I deeply apologize for the late update. Tbh, the past few months had been cruel to me and I just decided to give up writing. It's killing me, you know. It's my primary trigger but I realized (after three months of inactivity) that I wouldn't live without it as well so here. I also thank naruto gaiden for helping me get back on track.
P.S. I don't care about that DNA test. Sakura is Sarada's mom.
Step by step
Sakura almost flinched away from the feel of his palm against her cheek. It had been months since she had felt the feel of his skin against hers – mechanical, metal cold. She wanted to take advantage of this rare moment, wanted to lean into his touch, to close her eyes and relish the moment, but she had worked so hard to put up her walls around him, a last-ditch effort for self-preservation, so she decided to break off the contact before it could muddle her up again.
"Why...why with me?" she asked, turning away. "You could always start anew, Sasuke...with or without me."
Her words pierced the still air around them, and Sasuke felt the sharpness of the implication of what she was saying. Words rested heavy on his tongue, but he couldn't summon them – not now, not when her back was turned on him – so he said the only thing he was sure of.
"I don't know."
Sakura then breathed out a slow sigh. She knew they were both uncertain of things, and she would understand if Sasuke would like to try playing the hit-and-miss game. She'd join him. After all, there was nothing much to lose now – the damage had long been done.
She was wearing a thin smile when she faced him again. "Okay."
Suddenly, she felt her vision sway, the bile in her throat pushing its way up, as she carelessly fumbled around her for something to lean against. Before Sasuke could even ask what was wrong, she had already raced across the room, blasting open the bathroom door, and seconds later, Sasuke could hear a muffled, gagging noise.
Sasuke hastily followed her into the bathroom, and he saw her kneeling over the bowl, heaving as she reached for the flush.
Sakura felt cold beads of sweat trickling down her skin. Her stomach was knotting itself into twists, and she just wanted to slump against the wall. She felt another wave of nausea as she tried to flush and clean up the contents of her stomach now littered over the inside of the bowl.
But she heard the sound of the water being drained, and she struggled to look up to see Sasuke's figure looming above her. She instinctively wiped the back of her hand across her mouth and chin, removing any trace of bile. She then felt Sasuke kneel beside her, and she bit her quivering lip, hiding her wretched face away from his.
"I'm so sorry you had to see this," she croaked.
Sasuke surprised her by tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. She felt the light brush of his knuckles, and she just felt more embarrassed of the state he found her in.
"I'll help you stand," he said in a swift monotone as he started to encircle his arm around her waist while draping her arm over his shoulder. But Sakura shook her head firmly.
"No, it's okay. Go ahead and get some sleep."
She drew her figure away from him and heaved herself up. She really didn't want to think too much about his gestures.
Sasuke stood up as well, putting his hands inside his pockets. He wasn't blind to Sakura's resistance, but he thought she couldn't be blind to his friendly advances as well.
"You can clean up. I'll be waiting for you outside."
Sakura shook her head again. "I'm fine, Sasuke."
He cluck his tongue. "Sleep in my room, Sakura."
She wheeled around to face him, her brows shot up in confusion.
"Why? What for?"
"So I can attend to you," he shrugged.
Despite herself, Sakura found herself laughing, throwing her head back in amusement.
"You really don't need to. I've been dealing with this by myself for almost a month now," she said as she proceeded to wash her hands before splashing water over her face.
Sasuke frowned at her answer because to be honest, he knew what he had done and had not, and she didn't have to rub it in.
When Sakura was finally done washing up her face, she looked in the mirror only to see Sasuke leaning against the doorway, his arms folded against his chest.
"Nothing will happen – if that's what you're worrying about. Besides," his eyes bore into hers, "We're starting anew, Sakura." The last words were a mere whisper, but there was no mistaking about the edge in his tone, and she just knew she was fighting a losing battle.
She then crinkled a small smile at him and gave him a nod.
"I'll be following soon."
...
Already clad in her sleepwear – a lace trim maternity robe – she opened the door to his room. The room was dimly lit with the curtains pulled tartly across the window as if the moonlight had not graced the room with its presence ever since they transferred into this new house. With the bedside lamp being the only source of incandescent light, she could only make out the outline of what seemed to be a bookcase, (which really seemed to be an ornament more than anything) propped against the wall, his closet (probably made of sophisticated wood), and a glass-topped coffee table on which his laptop was resting.
She was half-expecting him to stay awake, waiting for her, but she was aware he wouldn't go that far. She found him turned on his side of the bed, facing away from her, and with the evenness of his breathing, she surmised he must have fallen asleep already. She also found a pillow placed at the center of his California king bed, seeming to serve as a tangible division between them. Again, she found herself smiling because he seemed to be hell-bent on proving to her that nothing else would happen. But when she finally edged beneath the covers, her limbs relaxed and sprawled across her space of the bed, she thought that the pillow lodged between them was unnecessary – even their shadows wouldn't even touch with this palpable distance stretching between them.
She placed her phone atop the bedside table and reached for the lamp beside her to turn it off. But just before turning on her side, she pressed herself up and slightly angled her body towards his direction, muttering a soft good night.
Sasuke caught this, making a mental note that he'd greet her first thing in the morning.
...
She heard a faint, unyielding buzz before she realized that it was her phone vibrating against the table. She immediately took hold of it – not wanting to bother the figure beside her – and answered the call.
"Yes. Yes, I'll be there," she whispered before hanging up.
The clock on her phone read 4:43 AM and although her eyes were still shaded with sleep, she carefully sat up and slipped out of the bed to get ready. She shuffled silently across the room and slowly opened the door. She hurriedly proceeded to her room to arrange her medical tools before taking a quick shower.
Her shifts in the hospital were irregular but that had never been a problem before because she had her own car to bring. Everything changed when Sasuke insisted on taking her to and picking her up from the hospital, disallowing her to drive.
Sasuke usually would leave at eight in the morning to get to work or to wherever he wanted to (she had stopped making a fuss about this) so she had made it a point to also leave for work as early as that even though her clinic hours wouldn't be until ten in the morning. Sasuke had actually consulted her about this the first time he found her in the passenger seat beside him.
"Aren't your shifts irregular?"
"I'll be fine going there at an earlier time."
"You can leave at any time you want. I'll pick you up."
"But that'll mean you leaving your work."
"It's nothing."
Of course, she would have none of that because even though Sasuke was the CEO of their corporation, she knew he was still a busy man, and she couldn't have him abusing his position just because of her, or rather, her baby.
But she couldn't just wake him up this early. She started to think of how to go about this predicament while brushing her teeth and combing the tangles out of her hair. She thought of calling Ino, but she knew how much of a heavy sleeper her best friend was.
There was no one else to call since her friend who dropped her off at Ino's shop the day before didn't know where she was living, and it would be too much of a bother to him. She could only think of resorting to driving her own car which was parked in their garage. It hadn't been used recently, but Sasuke, as compensation for what she forced Sakura to give up, made sure that it would be maintained in good condition. True enough, she'd seen mechanics working on her car just last week.
She slipped into a cap sleeve pleated dress and put on her white coat before grabbing her bag and keys and yanking the door open. She descended the stairs as silently as possible, the heels of her shoes making a faint thud against the wood, when she saw Sasuke already standing at the doorway, dressed up in his slim-fit office suit.
Her eyes widened instantly, and Sasuke wanted to smirk at her reaction.
"Good morning," he said coolly.
She gave him a confused nod. "But why are you awake?"
"Because you are," he said flatly.
"It's an emergency. You don't need to drive me right now, Sasuke. I'll be fine driving on my own. You can just pick me up later."
"Let's go, Sakura," he motioned, already heading outside.
"But Sasuke –"
He stopped before glancing over his shoulder. "I can always sleep later. Nothing to worry about."
Before she could add another retort, he was already out, starting the car.
It was still dark when they made it to the main road leading to the hospital. The road signs were made visible by the borrowed light from the lampposts lining the road, and there were only a few cars emerging out of every street corner. Even though the sun would break through the horizon any minute soon, everything was still night-stilled, and Sakura wished she could do something to break the stillness between them. She was forming words in her head when she heard him speak.
"Do you always have to do this?"
She cocked her head to the side. "Do what, Sasuke?"
He spared her a look. "Always rushing to the hospital."
"Of course. It's my duty," she replied softly.
"Can't you," Sasuke shifted his gear, "skip out sometimes, have a break?"
Sakura then caught on his meaning. Of course, they had had a fight just a few days ago because of this. She knew he was especially worried about his child, but she'd always maintain that as much as she could, she would continue to fulfill her duties as a doctor.
"I do have breaks in the hospital, Sasuke," she chuckled, and Sasuke just had to stop and look at her. Good thing that they were now at the intersection, and the red light was on despite the measly number of cars present on the road.
Sakura was oblivious to his eyes trained on her as she started to reminisce about her proud moments as a pediatrician.
"But I can't take a permanent break. At least not yet. I love my patients too much to do that. The kids are waiting for me and I'm always overjoyed by the fact that their parents entrust them to me. Oh, Sasuke, you should hear how they'd call me Auntie Sakura or Mama Sakura sometimes, it's really – " she finally turned to him and a blush immediately crept up her face when she saw him watching her in a steady gaze.
She was glowing and smiling so radiantly, and for a brief moment, Sasuke had forgotten about the sight of her tear-streaked face months ago when she was still in love with him and he had thrown it all away. That scene was always replaying inside his head, and just for this instant, he felt forgiven for what he had done.
Sakura then looked away, facing forward.
"Sasuke, it's a go."
He pressed down on the gas pedal, trying to keep himself from turning to look at her again.
"Don't worry. I won't let the baby suffer of course."
"Take care of yourself, too," he replied without looking at her. He meant it, but Sakura wouldn't know about that of course because to her, the child she was carrying was the only thing keeping them together.
Sakura pressed back a smile. The changes in Sasuke's attitude were too overwhelming, and she couldn't afford to be carried so easily away again.
Minutes shaved away without them passing a word to each other, and they soon found themselves in front of Konoha Hospital. Sakura thought of something to say before stepping out but decided that it wasn't really important so she let out a sigh before opening the car door.
"I'll wait here," he muttered.
With hesitation, she slowly looked back at him.
Sasuke answered her questioning gaze with a serious, resolute look.
"This might take long."
"Aa."
"Thanks," she whispered pell-mell, wrenching her gaze away, before shifting her bag on her shoulder and finally closing the door.
...
Sakura was called by Shizune, one of the senior nurses in the hospital and someone she would consider as more than an acquaintance. Apparently, one of her patients who was very fond of her was having an asthma attack and the 7-year-old girl wanted her to be there. While the mother of the child was present, Sakura needed to be there to pacify the crying girl, instructing her gently to take deep breaths as she asked Shizune to adjust the dose of the medicine they'd inject into her dextrose.
It took her about an hour to calm the girl down, and the child soon regained her regular breathing and had been lulled to sleep by the mother. Sakura, as requested by the little girl, stayed until her eyes finally fluttered close.
Knowing that Sasuke was waiting outside, she had hurriedly gathered her things and told Shizune that she'd be back in a while before rushing to the hospital's front door.
"Sakura-san!"
She stopped, looked over her shoulder and saw her colleague, speeding towards her, greeting her with a casual smile.
"Gaara-san," she nodded at him in acknowledgement, "Good morning."
"Same to you. Hmm..." he took a quick glance at his watch, "Emergency?"
"Ah...yes," she briefly massaged the side of her neck, "one of the kids had an asthma attack. I had to calm her down."
"Maintaining your reputation as the most friendly and caring doctor in this hospital, I see," he said, his eyes alight with amusement.
Sakura chuckled softly. "It's not about reputation. I just love my job and my patients."
"And I'm sure they love you back," he smiled once more. "By the way, a guy was looking for you yesterday..."
"Oh?"
"I thought he's your boyfriend," he joked.
She grinned back. "I don't have one! But thank you so much for yesterday, Gaara-san."
"No problem. Anytime."
Sakura could only smile. She met Gaara only two months ago as he was transferred into Konoha from Suna. He was a surgeon, and it was such a great relief to her that she always had someone to talk to when it came to her qualms about performing surgeries. She was always so afraid that she'd witness a patient die on the operating table by her own hands. But Gaara was always there to lighten up the mood. Since he, being a surgeon for six years now, had a longer experience in the field, he had shared with her stories of success and tragedies and how he had coped with them. He had never failed to make her feel at ease.
She then hurled a glance outside.
"I'm sorry but I have to go. See you!"
She waved him goodbye before finally walking out of the hospital and towards the Rolls Royce waiting for her.
"Thank you for waiting, Sasuke," she said as she got in, offering him a wholehearted smile.
Sasuke just gave a meek nod at her, still looking past through her window, straining to see the person Sakura was talking to just minutes ago, the same guy that he met yesterday.
He then faced Sakura who had just finished strapping her seat belt around her.
"Who is he?"
"Who –"
Sakura followed his gaze and saw Gaara still at the entrance, talking to someone in a wheelchair.
"A friend. He's also a surgeon like me," she shrugged, "By the way, were you the one who asked for me yesterday?"
Sasuke regarded her for a moment before revving up the engine.
"Aa. I had no idea where you were," he answered, avoiding her look.
"Of course," she said almost mockingly.
Sasuke then offered his upturned palm. "Give me your phone."
For the first time that day, Sakura didn't argue with him and willfully obeyed his demand.
He nonchalantly pressed the keys on her phone before swiftly handing it back while maneuvering the car to swing out of the parking space. "I've put in my number."
Sakura felt an uprush of unexpected joy for this sudden development. But she wasn't about to show him that. Besides, she herself didn't want to dwell on it.
Sasuke, on the other hand, expected a reaction of any kind from her and was shocked to hear nothing. Not wanting to drive in silence yet again, he tossed a question.
"What are your plans?"
"I'll have to go back later. But it's only 7 so I think I'll be taking a nap. It'd be okay if you could drop me off – "
"I'll drive you home later."
"Then where are we going?"
Sasuke looked at her, almost smiling.
"Breakfast."
...
Tbc
[I'll do longer (and better-written) chapters next time. I just need to know if I still have readers for this, I guess. The whole draft of the story is in-progress so yes I'm continuing this no matter how long it takes me to. I can't assure you that I won't lose my motivation but I promise to TRY to regain it no matter what. Please leave reviews and throw me ideas!]
