a/n: You can thank this particular guest who left a review that has alarmed me considerably – NO I'M NOT YET PLANNING TO DROP ANY OF MY ONGOING STORIES. I'm tempted to do so, given my current circumstances, but I can't find it in myself to betray anyone just yet. I'm just thinking about a lot of things right now and it's hard to move. But I'm still hoping for rosier days.
So yes, I prepared this chapter just to let you know that I'm still alive and thankfully, writing. I just REALLY need to find some point of stability for now and fix myself there. I can't be a withering bamboo all the time.
Also, thank you so much for all the support!
Newsflash
"No, Ino. I just can't do this," Sakura threw her hands up, dropping another dress onto a growing pile of colored and glittery fabrics and stalked off the room to get herself a glass of water, pacifying her jittery nerves.
"But Sak! You haven't tried on all of them yet," Ino answered hastily, following her out.
Sakura turned to her, clearly disinclined, but Ino flourished her hand as if waving off her best friend's expression.
"No matter, we've got a large fashion arsenal here. You've yet to try that red bubble dress, that sexy slip one, or that black maxi – I'm pretty sure you'll look effortlessly beautiful in it – or do you want to go all lacy?" Ino went on, checking off every item on her fingers.
Still, Sakura didn't look convinced.
"Come on, Sak! We didn't shop for nothing!" Ino pouted.
"You did the shopping," Sakura deadpanned.
"Oh, but you couldn't pass this up, you know. It's time to show your long hidden glam to the folks and your date -
"I don't have a date," the pinkette drawled.
" – that red-haired guy is surely itching to see you! He's got the hots for you. I'm just sure of it!"
Sakura just shook her head.
"Okay, cool down, Sak. I'm sure one of these is a perfect match for you. There're like ten more you still haven't tried on."
Ino went back to the dressing room as Sakura got herself a plump ball of tomato.
Honestly, she didn't know which was worse – living with Sasuke or living with her best friend. Things were actually a flurry of confusion. That night when Sasuke left for his business trip, she already found her best friend making herself comfortable in their house, cooking up things for her.
"Ino? Wha—Why are you here?"
"Is it illegal for me now to pay you a visit?"
"No. I mean, you could've called me and I would've gone to your shop or anywhere else?"
"Whatever. I'm taking care of you."
"But-"
"Clearly, he's not here."
Sakura cocked her head in bewilderment.
"How did you know?"
"Best friend's instinct. Besides, I just saw him dropping you off without even so much a wave of goodbye, I assume?"
Sakura quieted at this.
"Bah. Of course I'm kidding, Forehead. Cheer up and help me whip up this recipe. We used to do this you know."
Sakura just smiled, remembering their college days when they were sharing an apartment, and they always had this hangout day which they would devote to shopping together, buying groceries, and trying out different recipes. It wasn't decided who was the better cook, but they were able to eat all their dishes just fine so they left it at that.
Over dinner, Sakura told Ino about Sasuke's business trip overseas, and Ino immediately volunteered to stay with her while he was gone. It was rather quick, almost premeditated, she thought, but she guessed it was really Ino's instinct that would always inform her best friend about her plight.
That night, she stayed in Sasuke's room, memories of her last confrontation with him taking on a cadence until she realized with a blinding clarity that her foolish feelings for him were never letting up. She had an uneven sleep, too spent to prepare for another long day ahead, when she heard a knock and through the door came Ino's voice telling her that breakfast was ready. Ino was not an early riser, and it showed when Sakura opened the door to see her eyes still weak with sleep. Ino also drove her to work, and she couldn't be more thankful to her lifesaver.
That day would've been fine if not for Gaara mentioning about the invitation again right at the exact moment that Ino emerged from out of nowhere, reasoning she was to pick her up from work. Of course, her ever so sharp best friend picked up on their conversation, and Sakura swore she could've pushed Ino to be her substitute with those sparkling baby blue eyes she had when she heard about the party. It was needless for Ino to ask if Gaara would be there, but she did anyway and of course, he gave a positive answer, which was now the source of Ino's fantasizing about his "thing" for her.
Ino then made it a point to drive her to and from the hospital, and every other day, she would drag Sakura along to every shop they passed by, looking for and buying random dresses – "It's on me," Ino would insist – despite Sakura's ceaseless qualms about her condition.
While Sakura was reluctant to go shopping, she recognized her friend's efforts to put her into humor and take her mind off things, off Sasuke. When he told her to forget about whatever it was that almost happened, she decided it was the final nail – she had to seal it off. She wouldn't forget their happy days, their "friendship," and she wouldn't run away because her dream for her child to have a complete family unlike her outweighed her pain (and she thought her mother must have felt this way for her father), but she would forget about the possibilities.
"Have you calmed down yet?" Sakura was pulled out of her reverie.
"Ino . . . you know that I would really go if I could, right?"
"But why couldn't you?"
Sakura's eyes shifted down to her stomach.
"Because of your bump? Sakura! You're ashamed of your bump?"
"Of course not! But it's just that . . ."
Ino looked at her crossly, her arms propped on her hips. "You should be damn proud, Sakura. Hell, you were proudly carrying your baby for four notoriously hard months singlehandedly and – "
"Exactly, Ino," she whispered, her voice shaking.
"Exactly, what?"
Sakura then burst into sobs. "I'm proud! Oh god, I want to show them that I have this beautiful thing growing inside of me, that I'll be a mother soon. But just . . . I don't want to take questions, I don't want them to know, I can't – "
"Questions like what, Sak? Know what?"
Sakura tried to stabilize her emotions, hastily wiping off the streaming tears. "Well, I'm not really in a normal arrangement. Even Gaara-kun doesn't know. What do I say if they ask who is . . . who's the father. I just, I just want to be able to say that – "
"You're with someone . . ."
"That it wasn't an accident. It was never an accident for me. I want this. Have always. But – "
Ino then put her arms around her, shushing her. "You're overthinking, Forehead. It's not like you're in a peculiar situation. A lot of women go through that and it's not your fault, not their fault, at least not entirely, but you see Sak, women like you are epitome of courage, you know that? You choose to live. You choose to keep your baby even when the circumstances are against you. You should be proud. You're a strong, independent woman with a baby, and not having a man in your life doesn't make you any less."
Sakura chuckled tearfully.
"So, you're ditching that mystery boy then?"
Ino gasped, feigning a shocked expression.
" 'Course not! Don't change the topic, you sly woman."
"Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much, Pig."
Ino touched away the remaining tears on her friend's face.
"Now, shall we resume the fitting session? You still need to have your beauty rest."
"Yes. I still have to drop by my shift tomorrow."
"You're not taking a day off? I'm closing my shop for you!"
Sakura plopped a hand on her hair, a ghost of a smile passing her face when she remembered the kids waiting for her. "No. I'll have to check in on my patients. I promise it'll be quick. Pick me up at lunch and let's go grab some salads."
"Fine. I'll pick you up after I tend to my flowers."
"You're such a mother to your flowers."
"Oh please. They're my babies!"
"Have you introduced them to their soon-to-be father yet?"
"I will. Soon." Ino winked before whipping out her vibrating phone and furiously typing on it.
Sakura couldn't decipher the mixture of expressions flitting across Ino's face. Her friend seemed to be deciding on whether to be angry or amused.
She decided to tease by trying to sneak a peek into the screen, but Ino's reaction was immediate, flipping her phone shut in a snap.
Sakura smiled at her knowingly. "Wow, pretty intense conversation you have there!"
Ino laughed rather awkwardly. "Oh you wouldn't know, Sak!"
"Fine. I shall leave you to your private world then," Sakura whistled before ambling off into the room.
...
Her shift in the hospital was pretty quick. There were no new admitted patients, so she only did a few rounds on some children. She would have loved to stay longer with them and have some chit-chat, but there was a night event to prepare for. She also met a mom who recently had given birth to a wonderful, healthy girl, and Sakura prescribed her vitamins for the baby. She was preparing to go when a knock and a creak alerted her of the presence of Dr. Kazuo.
"Sakura . . ." he greeted amicably.
He might look like a typical aged man with his black hair receding into white, the convolutions on his skin, and his wizened face, but he was a man of medical virtuoso, and he would always be Sakura's superior and mentor.
"Sensei," she greeted back politely.
"Can I expect to see you there later?"
She paused for a bit before answering brightly. "Of course, I'll be there!"
"I'm glad. Gaara was talking about how you were hesitant at first. Any problem? We haven't talked in a while."
"No. Everything's fine, Sensei."
He nodded sagely. "Sakura, you've been my student and you're almost like a daughter to me. You know you can always talk to me."
"Am I really that readable? Even Gaara was telling me the same thing!" she answered jokingly.
Dr. Kazuo frowned. "It's not healthy for you to be always stressed. I let you take some time off surgical work so that you can have ample amount of rest for your baby."
She swiped her hand in the air, as if waving off her mentor's worry. "I know, Sensei. I guess . . . I'm just adjusting. I'm on my fourth month, anyway."
She saw him hesitate. "Are you going alone to the party?"
She anticipated the question yet she still couldn't bring herself to give a proper answer. While her mentor knew about her condition, he didn't know anything about the context, and she'd rather have it stay that way.
"Why don't you ask Gaara to accompany you—"
She shook her head briskly. By the way he suggested it, she figured that her superior might've sharply read her situation. However, she didn't want to further complicate things and be misunderstood. She couldn't drag Gaara into this. "No need. My best friend will be driving me there and picking me up."
"Okay, Sakura. If you need anything, you can always come and see me. If you need some pregnancy advice, my wife is just as friendly. She'd be pleased to talk to you."
She broke out into an appreciative smile. "Thank you so much, Sensei."
She was beyond thankful that Dr. Kazuo didn't choose to put her on a hot seat and ask further into her life. As she headed to walk out of the hospital, an incredible sense of peace settled within her. She now felt at peace and even started to look forward to the party. From a distance, she could see Ino from her car, waving enthusiastically at her. She then heard footsteps beside her.
"Shall I pick you up later?"
She gave Gaara a careful, friendly smile. "No. I'll be fine. I have my chaperone," she said, pointing towards Ino who also waved eagerly at him. She then quickly dropped a few lines of thanks before moving along.
Once inside the car, Ino started teasing her about it.
"Did he ask you to be his muse?"
Sakura mocked a dejected sigh. "Yes, but sadly I had to turn him down. I said I'm having you as my escort."
They were sharing bouts of laughter when Ino's phone rang loudly. Sakura had seen her look at the screen before she tossed it over to the backseat.
Sakura looked at her with wide eyes. "Not gonna pick that up?"
"Nope. Let him suffer," she replied, with a determined, triumphant look.
Sakura pursed her lips. "Hmmm. Just your kind of war."
Ino just grinned at her. "Oh honey, I assure you it's one bloody war."
...
"Ino, I really don't think I can do this," she said before turning away from her hand mirror, sighing heavily for the umpteenth time.
"That is such an ancient line, Forehead! Look at yourself. Here you are gorgeously fitted into that fabulous dress!"
"Just that . . ."
"Sak, it's okay. You're okay. I'm proud of you. Just remember that, alright?"
"Okay, Ma'am. Though I think," she gestured towards Ino's phone, "you should really answer that one. It's been ringing for hours!"
"Nah. Don't worry about me. Come on. Stop hiding and sashay your way into that red hottie's heart! "
Sakura just rolled her eyes at this. They then kissed each other on the cheek before she finally stepped out of the car, expelling one last nervous sigh.
She entered the hall donned in a pine green silk tulle frock with chiffon off-the-shoulder sleeves and a deep v-neckline, accessorized with a black velvet belt that emphasized her growing bump. Ino did her makeup, accentuating her eyes by making it what she called 'smokey.' Her eyeshadow was of the red-brown tone which complemented her rose-colored lips. Her hair was styled up in a regal bun, and while she didn't enjoy wearing jewelry, Ino insisted that she wear a pair of teardrop jade earrings and a silver beaded bracelet.
She sought to find familiar faces as she continued to move through the space. Somehow, she started to feel less anxious. She could sense amused glances being sent her way, but it wasn't like she was being judged from head to toe as what she had feared.
"Sakura."
Gaara came into view. Not having been prepared for his sudden appearance, she instinctively placed her hand on her bump and looked away.
"I have noticed. You don't have to hide it. I just don't want you to feel pressured to say anything."
He smiled, and Sakura thanked him copiously. He was smartly dressed in a black wool suit, and Sakura must admit that he looked different from usual.
"So, what sort of cravings do you have? I'll find them for you," he offered, his eyes never leaving her face.
She chuckled in response. "No, it's okay. I don't wanna show you my huge appetite!"
What she really wanted was nothing but a bowl of salad. It started triggering afflictive memories, and she wondered why she could hardly keep her thoughts about a certain person when she was supposed to be here to relax.
"I'm just gonna get a drink then. Since wine is not an option, what juice would you like?"
"Hmm. Strawberry juice is a fave."
He nodded. "Got it."
But before Gaara could even move away, they were suddenly cornered by a circle of colleagues. Some faces were familiar to her even though she had only shared minimal conversations with them, mostly about their work.
"Sakura-san! Oh my, we didn't know! Congratulations!" Sakura blinked before absentmindedly letting the other female take her hand and shake it.
"Gaara-san, you never told us!
"We never noticed anything!"
"When are you due?"
Sakura could only titter, words crowding behind her lips as she tried to parry their relentless questions. "No, I'm – we're not . . ."
"Sorry, I'm late."
Her head snapped in the direction of that voice she was well acquainted with, only to see him emerging, taking confident strides towards her. But before she could react, Sasuke had already slid a kiss on the side of her head, purposefully securing his arm around her waist.
"Good evening, I'm Uchiha Sasuke," he said grandly, bowing to the guests crowding around them.
Someone squealed. "Uchiha! As in the famous . . ."
He just nodded.
"Sorry, Sakura-san, I thought you and Gaara-san . . ."
Gaara then dutifully interrupted. "No. We're good friends."
Sakura didn't know what to say as she stayed rooted in her place. She wanted to jerk out of his embrace, but in his proximity, she realized that she had missed him quite dreadfully.
Another woman addressed Sakura. "You're lucky, Sakura. You should've told us! How long have – "
"We've been together for a year," Sasuke supplied, startling Sakura.
"Any plans on marriage yet?"
Sakura finally found her voice to speak. "Oh, that's really not – "
"Yes, probably next year."
In her confusion, she could only feel nothing but his grip tightening, pressing her further to him.
...
Tbc.
(If you want to see Sakura's dress for real, you can look up what Kate Middleton wore during a public appearance in New York. They call the dress a Jenny Packham gown. I'm not a fashion person so I had to rely on the given description; I just changed the color of the dress. I've also looked up the suitable makeup for green eyes.
There'll be more SasuSaku action in the next chapter!)
