Here's chapter four of 'We Will Live For Them'. I had planned for Komaru appearing in this chapter, but then decided she can appear in a later chapter. This chapter is about Kokichi's ongoing guilt of what happened to Miu, Gonta and Kaito. So, it being ongoing it'll obviously come up again at some point, but this is just the first mentions of his guilt of their deaths affecting him. At first I was making this entirely Kokichi-centric, but I'm thinking I have to have chapters centre on the other characters otherwise it won't be fair and I need to develope them too😅.

Also, I am terribly sorry if any characters are OOC in any chapters, but I'll try my hardest to make them as close to canon as possible. I said as close. I haven't played the games in a while, only read fanfictions so I only really have fanfiction versions along with what I remember the characters to be like from my play-through as well as when I watch clips on youtube. So, hopefully that kind of gives me insight of what the characters are like😅. But you can't really get to know a character that you've never written until you actually tried writing it, I guess.

Anyways, enjoy!

Also, Reviews are appreciated😋


Chapter IV: Regretful Actions

Future Foundation Headquarters - Medbay - Kokichi's Room - 5:50pm

Kyoko headed back to the Medbay to give one final checkup on her brother especially after the day he had.

The day they all had.

From being found with an injury so severe he had to have surgery...

To the way the other survivors had treated him...

They had all had a long day and probably just needed rest.

Those kids had just been in a killling game after all.

She had been in one a few years back and she wasn't surprised to see such reactions.

Aoi had been the same after Sakura died after all, but she learned to look forward.

That's what these kids needed...

A reason to look toward the future...

She opened the door to her brother's room and saw him staring at the ceiling, rubbing his leg with a look of annoyance plastered across his face.

"Are you starting to feel phantom pains?" her sudden appearance and voice causing Kokichi to get caught off guard and look over to her with wide eyes.

"Huh? Oh ... umm ... yea, I think so." He stopped rubbing his leg and lay his hand on the bedspread, biting his bottom lip while closing his eyes. "It's so weird. It feels like its still there, but I know its not..."

Kyoko gave her brother a sympathetic look as she approached his bedside and helped him sit up. "I know." Her response was short and concise as her expression changed to a serious frown. "But that's not why I'm here, 'Kichi."

He turned his head to face her, eyes wide in confusion. "Huh?"

"I want to talk to you about your behaviour in the killing game." Her frown deepened as her eyes narrowed at her brother as he shrunk under her cold gaze. "What exactly was that?"

"I don't know..." He mumbled out, looking away from her.

If he didn't see her face he wouldn't feel weak.

If he didn't feel weak he wouldn't feel scared.

But he felt so much more vulnerable without the ability to run away straight away.

He would usually run away if he feels he's in danger.

He's a weakling now.

Then again he always was.

A weak little boy hiding behind a mask of lies.

"Kokichi, don't lie to me," Kyoko spoke sternly to her brother and it sent a shiver down his spine.

He can't remember the last time someone actually was stern with him who was family.

He can't remember his Mother that well...

Should he remember?

"I'm not lying..." He replied, meekly.

The small voice from her brother, surprising Kyoko as she blinked and calmed her self down a bit before letting out a sigh. She sat down next to Kokichi and brought him in for a hug.

"I just want to know why you did all that, okay?" Her eyes landed on his head as he kept his eyes away from her. "I want to know why you lied and did such terrible things..."

She sounded upset.

Disappointed even.

And it hurt Kokichi to hear that tone in his sister's voice.

He stayed silent, head turned away from her and staring at the wall opposite him.

"Kokichi..."

"I was scared..." He mumbled out, finally letting something out. "I hid behind that mask because I was scared. I didn't want to die, Kyoko..." He lowered his head in shame. "I know it's selfish, but..." There was a hint of water in his eyes. "...I also wanted to help. I wanted everyone to escape."

He started to shake in Kyoko's embrace.

She realised it was because he had started quietly sobbing.

She patted his head, soothing his sobs.

His head lifted up to look at her and she finally saw the tears at the edge of his eyes that he refuses to let fall.

"And I did something horrible! I..I had the only person that ever put up with me ... kill someone! And then the person who was meant to kill me didn't even go through with it! How am I meant to live with that, Kyoko!" His tears fell down his cheeks as he stared up at his sister with wide eyes. "I KILLED THREE PEOPLE!"

She leaned down and held him close to her, rubbing small circles in his back.

"It's hard at first, but you just have to look to the future. Don't think about what could've been, but what will be..."

Her words sunk into the boys skin.

He understood their deep meaning.

He knew she was trying ro make him feel better.

But that still didn't mean that they would work straight away...

He caused the deaths of three people and he wasn't going to get over that in one day...

Hell, maybe never...

Future Foundation Headquarters - Medbay - Kokichi's Room - 9:45am

Two days passed by and the only visitors that Kokichi had received was his sister and Himiko. He no longer received visits from the assassin and detective after their little spat about the astronaut. The magician believed the leader's words even if he had lied a lot during the game.

The continuous visits he got from the mage made him wonder what was up with the redhead.

Whenever his sister came in during the time that Himiko was there she would just smile as the two talked.

Kokichi had noticed this more than once and frowned.

It was as if she knew something that he didn't and it annoyed him.

Was it a detective thing.

Or a woman thing?

He really didn't know...

The door to his room opened allowing Himiko entrance as she wandered in and sat down in the chair beside his bed.

It was nice he got visitors, but sometimes he wanted to be left alone.

Just left to his thoughts...

He wanted to take the words that Kyoko spoke to him seriously, but how can he?

He had caused three deaths...

You don't just get over that...

Even though he was still thinking of her words two days later it still hurt to think about...

She gave him a bit of a worried look. "Nyeh, how are you feeling?"

"Well, I can't leave this bed so I feel fucking great..." He replied, sarcastically.

Himiko looked down at the bed, fiddling with her fingers.

"Sorry..." she muttered out, biting her bottom lip.

The leader turned his head with a slight frown on his face as he watched her fiddle with her fingers. He groaned and rubbed a hand over his face. "I'm ... sorry for ... saying that to you, Himiko..."

It was almost as if apologising physically pained him to do.

The mage lifted her gaze to the boy; whose violet gaze was across the room, away from her.

"It's just ... everything has been pissing me off lately..." He told her, letting his mask off for a split second.

She opened her mouth, eyes wide in surprise at the how geniune he sounded.

Was this what Kaito saw before the fifth trial?

Did Kaito see this side of Kokichi too?

"It's not just the fact I can't walk anymore, but..." Kokichi's voice seemed to waver a bit at the end of his sentence. "...Kaito was too chicken to kill me!" He curled his hand into a fist and slammed said fist into his bedside.

Himiko watched, sympathising with the boy lying on the medical bed a little too much.

Yumeno hesitated; her hands still entangled together before they break a part and she extends her left and lays it on Kokichi's.

He turns his gaze to her, blinking in surprise at her small gesture of sympathy.

She seems to be thinking her words over carefully, afraid to trigger the boy into getting angry before finally deciding on what to say. "I ... may not be the best person to talk to..." She pauses, thinking once more of how to continue. "...but we all saw our fair share of bad things there. We all lost people we cared for."

The short leader kept a surprised stare on the short mage before turning his head with an annoyed scoff. "You didn't indirectly kill people..."

The girl seemed taken aback by the words the boy spoke, but she didn't back down.

A slight frown crossing her features as her brows furrowed. "You didn't know Kaito was going to do that!"

He turned his head back around to face her, a fierce expression on his face in place of a scowl. "Maybe not, but I did indirectly kill Miu and Gonta. I can't change that."

The two kept a level stare on one another.

It was silent in the room.

Himiko swallowed the saliva that had built up in her mouth.

She opened her mouth, trying to think of something.

Anything to reassure Ouma that he wasn't to blame for their deaths.

But that wasn't true...

Because he technically was...

He manipulated Gonta to kill Miu which got Gonta executed.

Even if Gonta went along with his plan in the game-world ... it was still Kokichi's fault...

And there was no way Himiko could tell him it wasn't.

Because it was.

And even he knew that.

She took a deep breath, taking her hand back from his and closed her eyes, thinking over her words once more.

"I know that." She swallowed, knowing that he was probably glaring at her right now. "But ... it doesn't mean you can't..." She lifted her hands up and pulled her hat down and hid her face from him, hiding her blush from him. "...move forward, nyeh..."

He stared at her, blinking before snorting, "You sounded like Kyoko for a second there..."

She let go of her that and blinked. "Nyeh...?"

"She said almost the exact same thing to me two days ago..."

"Then why don't you listen to her?" She asked, sounding confused.

A sigh left Kokichi's lips as he shook his head at the girl. "It's not as simple as that, Himiko..."

The girl looked down with a frown on her face, upset, but felt hopeful that Kokichi would move forward in the future.

It would just take him time to realise he had to do it.

He helped her move on from Tenko and Angie's deaths.

Now she has to help him with this.

Though grief and guilt is a lot more different.

It'll be hard, but she wanted to help him.

"Thank you..." He turned back to face her, a confused frown on his face as she gave him a small smile. "...for showing me a little of who you really are."

He froze.

He didn't realise he'd been that incriminating during their talk.

He must've if Himiko of all people could tell he wasn't lying.

"I...I ... umm ..." He sputtered, unsure of how to respond to what she had said, a little flustered. "Those were all lies!"

He tried to put his mask back on, but the damage was already done.

Her smile fell and became sad as she looked at him. "I hope that you can actually learn to trust us now that we're no longer in that killing game." She gave one last smile before walking towards the door and leaving Kokichi in the room alone.

He stared after her before her words finally hit him and he scowled, turning away. "It wasn't just the killing game ... I've never been good at trusting people..."