a/n: I thought I'd never be able to write again. As stated on my profile, I lost my mom barely a month ago, and everything inside me just withered away. I especially had a hard time contemplating whether to continue this fic because I'd usually ask her about pregnancy and motherhood so I could realistically portray Sakura here. Every small thing that I do reminds me of my mom and how I'd never be able to hold her again. I seriously don't know if I could ever cope with this loss and emptiness but I'm trying to write once more to escape. I feel so disconnected so apologies in advance for this lackluster chapter. My priority right now is to finish this fic and then probably I can just be gone forever.


Wounds

Band-aids don't fix bullet holes. She had heard those lyrics before and thought it had never been this fitting with the way she was currently feeling. If she was to admit it to herself, Sasuke had said too many sweet words last night, and she would've gladly felt over the moon had she convinced herself they were all true. But the painful reality was that he'd also hurt her way too much, probably with more counts than the loving words he'd tossed to her last night.

That and the fact that he was asking her to marry him as if to underscore how much of an obligation she was to him.

It was only half past five in the morning, way too early to be driving herself to the hospital, but she had no choice but to play another game of hide-and-hide from the very man whom her heart was traitorously seeking.

But then she should've anticipated that he was also someone who wouldn't go back on his word. True enough, he was already awake awfully early, and it seemed like he did fry some eggs for them. She saw a plate filled with lumps of what looked like yellow and brown scrambled eggs, with some bits charred to a certain extent.

"They're . . . far from perfect," he intoned, sharply looking away.

Sakura would've laughed at the sight of him, but she noticed both of his arms peppered with red blotches, and she crossed the distance between them in an instant, unthinkingly cradling both of his arms, biting her lip at the thought of what he must have been through. She gently ran her thumb over a particular affected area, and he winced.

She looked up at him. "I'll get you plasters."

Sasuke couldn't have been more embarrassed of himself. He should've researched first how to perfectly fry eggs, but he was too excited to do it for her that he just resorted to the dictates of his common sense. Frying didn't automatically mean strong heat, however, and he'd take note of that for future references.

Sakura went back with a medical kit. She carefully cleaned the raw wounds before securing band-aids over them. In the end, each of his arms had sported two band-aids which thankfully could be covered later on by the sleeves of his suit.

Throughout the process, Sasuke was only looking at her, but she seemed to be so intent on paying attention only to the task at hand. Too clinical. And he felt dread washing over him at the prospect of too vast a distance that could now be settling between them.

When she was already packing away her medical paraphernalia, he reached out to hold her hand.

"Thank you."

She pulled back her hand and simply nodded before setting aside the medical box.

"Let's eat then."

"Just leave out the burnt parts," he said weakly.

Sakura, in response, forked one piece into her mouth and chewed on it thoughtfully.

"They're not bad," she remarked simply as she continued eating.

Her tongue wasn't actually registering the burnt taste, and it was probably because she appreciated his gesture too much to care. She hated how small things like this would always affect her so immensely. After a while, she chanced him a look and almost recoiled at the intensity of his gaze. They were sitting beside each other, only a few inches apart, and it didn't occur to her that he wasn't actually eating until she looked at him.

"Why, why are you . . . not eating?" she sputtered awkwardly.

"Because I cooked it for you. Although it isn't much."

He wanted to say he'd be fine watching her all day, but he reminded himself never to surprise her again with careless words and actions.

She unconsciously pushed back some of her hair, and she'd never know its effect on him. He had missed holding her, and he'd never stopped regretting that he had taken all those moments for granted.

"Thank you still, Sasuke," she offered before standing. She couldn't make herself linger. She wouldn't. Not when she was still vulnerable to falling. Hard.

She made a move to clean up the table, but Sasuke stopped her with a hand on her wrist.

"I'll do it."

She just nodded before stepping out of his way and grabbing her car key on the table.

"I can drop by the hospital for lunch," he said quickly but firmly.

She just gave a shake of her head, avoiding his gaze once more.

"No need. Anyway, thanks for the key. You can expect me to drive safely so don't worry about . . . us," she finished as she gently pressed her hand on her bump.

Sasuke looked at her a bit more, and he got the message. She wasn't ready to spend as much time with him, and he couldn't even fathom how he must have put her through the same intensity of pain months before.

He watched her retreating figure and wondered whether he could ever get used to watching her walk away.

...

It must have been because of the emotional duress she had gone through over the past few days, but she felt like her shift in the hospital was nothing but banal. She wanted to explain things to Gaara but reflected that she herself wasn't prepared yet to do the explaining so she was thankful that he wasn't the one who sought her out instead.

She hated that she didn't have the usual energy to meet with her patients. She did her customary rounds and was readying to head home or probably to Ino's shop when Tsunade passed by and reminded her about her upcoming checkup in two days. Her heart soared at this, and so when she was asked about the party the night before, she could only beam with every radiance she had, saying she definitely had a wonderful night to which her Shishou just reacted with a wink, something she actually couldn't decipher.

Elated by this timely reminder – she hated that she actually forgot about such an important thing – she decided to sprint off to Ino to share the good news.

She was instantly pounced on by the said best friend the moment she entered.

"Sak!" Ino exclaimed.

Her best friend was unusually zealous when it was only last night that they last saw each other. Suddenly, her mind gave a full-blown recapitulation of the events last night, and she just knew that Ino had a hand in everything.

She looked at Ino disapprovingly, her arms crossed.

"Okay, Pig. I know what you did and let's just leave it at that because I love you too much to get mad at you. I'll forgive you but please no more questions."

She then went straight to the counter, her nostrils enjoying the delectable smell of carnations.

Ino only flurried after her, her mouth wide open.

"You mean to say, it didn't go well?"

Sakura simply shook her head. "That's a question, Ino."

Ino furiously swept her stylish bangs away in disbelief and paced the room in an agitated manner.

"God. And to think I was rooting for him! I hated him to the bones, Sak! But he said he'd take care of you!"

Sakura just sighed. "Well, I can take care of myself just fine."

Ino just stared at her with her lips conspicuously pulled downwards.

"Forget about that, Pig. I have a checkup with my OB this Tuesday so I need you to come with me!" Sakura delightfully shared.

The blonde gave a theatric gasp. "But I'm not the father!"

Sakura only rolled her eyes. "And who was so eager to shop for baby clothes?"

Ino clapped her hands. "Sure thing, honey! What time?"

"2 PM. Just call me when you get there – but if you're busy, it's – "

"I can always close my shop for you, Sak. That's how much I'm spoiling my future godchild."

"You have my million thanks, Ino."

Then someone came in, and the first thing Sakura heard was her best friend's squeal. She was then baffled by the sight of Ino practically jumping the mysterious guy.

Sakura could only blink rapidly when the guy whose facade was eerily familiar yet foreign turned to her with a big smile plastered on his face. He shines too bright, she thought. So much like Ino.

"Good day, Ms. Pinkette," the guy greeted rather formally except that his choice of description was anything but.

Sakura inwardly cringed and hesitantly smiled back. Ino then walked back to her, smiling widely. Sakura pulled her a bit and whispered, "He looks like Sasuke."

Ino grinned, raising her voice. "But I'm pretty sure my Sai is sweeter and definitely not a jerk!"

Sakura wasn't sure if that was meant as a joke but she took it lightly and laughed with her.

"Anyway, are you supposed to have plans?"

Sai responded in return, his smile never fading. "Yes, we're going out on a date, Ms. Forehead."

Sakura's brows almost met in protest but decided to keep her cool.

"Uhm, Sakura. You can call me Sakura."

He nodded. "I'm Sai."

"Please excuse us for a bit." She then pulled Ino into the small storage room just beside the counter.

"You should've told me that you had plans. Is this the guy you're talking about?"

"I'm sorry, Sak. I was hoping you could meet him on a double date. You can tag along though. I'm sure he wouldn't mind," Ino pouted.

Sakura's brows quirked upwards because that guy was obviously going to abhor the idea of her tagging along as a third wheel. But it's probably true that love is blind, and she herself could attest to that.

"Never mind. I'll just go home."

But Ino wouldn't let her go and while they were debating about the topic, another man entered the shop and coincidentally chanced upon his almost-twin.

Sasuke could only eye the other guy in the room as he mentally imagined himself in front of the mirror. They shared too many similarities. But before his mind could go wander into less important matters, he bowed at the stranger who only smiled at him.

"Have you seen a woman – "

"With pink hair?"

Sasuke paused as the other man grinned. "Don't worry. I have no interest in women with large foreheads."

Sasuke instinctively narrowed his eyes at him, bewildered and annoyed by the man's unflinching smile.

"Oh, speak of the devil!"

His attention was caught by the familiar voice, and as he turned to that direction, he saw Sakura with her ever so loud best friend emerging from a room. He ignored the pun intended in Ino's statement as he focused on Sakura who again pointedly looked away.

"You came at the right moment! We were just talking about her pregnancy checkup this Tuesday!"

It was too late for Sakura to stop Ino from running her beautiful mouth. God. She didn't plan on letting him know.

"Congratulations, Sakura-san!" Sai quipped unceremoniously but to which Sakura gave her thanks.

"You didn't tell me about it," Sasuke began, the heaviness in his tone suddenly matching the now taut atmosphere enveloping them.

Sakura felt affronted. "Because you don't need t – "

"I'll be there."

"You don't need to, Sasuke. Ino has agreed to come with me," she stated defiantly.

"I'm the father," he said, his voice dropping a few more notches.

Sasuke felt like he deserved the right to be mad about this. He could understand Sakura's growing distaste towards him, but he had hoped it wouldn't come to this extent. They might not be together, but he would always be the father of the child she was carrying, and it would always be a need for him to know anything about the welfare of his child.

Ino then decided to step in.

"Well, look, you two. It shouldn't be an issue. The three of us can just – "

"Then, please accompany your wife so Ino and I can go on a date that day," Sai interjected, turning to Sasuke.

"Sai!"

"We're not married," Sakura offhandedly remarked.

Sai nodded, still facing Sasuke. "Then please accompany the mother of your child so Ino and I can go – "

"Sai!"

"I will," Sasuke replied curtly.

Ino could only bestow Sakura an apologetic look, but the latter dismissed it with a smile. There was a moment of cold silence before Sai cracked it.

"Now that this issue has been settled, it's time for us to go on our date. The museum will close in an hour, Ino," he said calmly although a hint of disappointment could be gleaned from his face if one looked close enough.

Sakura gasped. "You should've told me Ino!"

Her best friend just smiled sheepishly. "I can't just leave you behind, Forehead."

"Then move along. I don't want to spoil your precious date!"

Ino pulled her in for a brief hug and patted her shoulder before they all shuffled along.

She didn't want to share another moment of tension with Sasuke so as soon as Sai's car sped off, she also made a move to get inside her own. As usual though, he always had a way of stalling her.

"Kakashi's wife has given birth – "

The news startled her so much she forgot about their supposed situation. "Really? When? Just now?"

"No. That day I left for New York. I had to stand in. I wasn't able to tell you."

He then walked a few steps towards her.

She took a step back. "It's ok."

She somehow felt relieved by this piece of information. All along, she thought he had left because he wanted to avoid her after her unnecessary crossing of the boundary between them. Regardless of his reason though, she still crossed the boundary and that precisely what got her to this situation.

"I'm headed there to visit. Would you like to come?"

Sasuke was well aware of her intention to put as much distance off him as she could, but he also knew her little weakness. Sakura would always love kids, and he was pretty sure she wouldn't pass up this opportunity to have a glance at his advisor's newborn child.

"Okay. In which hospital? I'll follow."

He was hoping they could use his car instead, but Sakura going there would still mean more chances for him to talk to her.

"Ame."

"Okay."

"Sakura, about last night . . ."

She knew this line. They were going to have the same conversation from a week ago, and she thought that fate was really ruthless. She was quick to react, however.

"Yes, I'll forget about it," she said as dismissively as she could.

"No. Don't. I meant everything I said and did."

He took more steps towards her, ready to hold her just in case she finally decided to meet his gaze. But she could only open the door of her car and gave a vague 'okay' before hopping inside.

Sakura could feel the beads of perspiration on her skin despite the coolness of the air-con as she mused on the implications of what he had just said.

Could she read a meaning into what seemed to be a spur-of-the-moment kiss he had initiated? Would she be crossing the boundary again if she did that? Would he allow her to?

...

Tbc.