In honor of Shantae and the Seven Sirens' release.
RWBY's Commentary of The Happening (Part 2 - Final)
"Meanwhile, Leguizamo's gang is not doing very well as they come across a bunch of people who saw early screenings of the movie.", Ruby began the second half of the Happening review as Julian in the movie comforts a girl by doing a math riddle, "It's quirky and weird! Which, to some writers, equals brilliant and mind-blowing!", as Julian tells the girl a math problem Oh, I know this one! It's 'Screw you! Everybody hates math! We're all gonna DIE!'", describing, "But he notices a hole, which he could easily plug up, but...doesn't...as it causes them all to naturally go insane."
Yang then sees the part where Julian gets affected and slowly commits suicide by using a glass shard after he crashes his vehicle, "He would be thinking to himself, 'My name's Luigi Mario. I'm a Puerto Rican-Italian raised by a British-Italian who's both my father and my brother. I'm fighting a germaphobe dinosaur who's turned Lance Henriksen into a mushroom and thinks ordering a pizza is funny.'", causing her, Ruby, Blake and Weiss to laugh again, "Wahlberg's gang runs across a guy from the military who also is unsure of what direction to go.", before they see the moment where the nursery man asks a military private about the dead bodies on the road into town, in which the private says 'Cheese and crackers'.
"Were you just hungry when you wrote this? Cheese and crackers, hot dogs, honeybees? Was this sponsored by the Food Network?", inqueried Blake, "But our weird Shyamalan one-shot reveals that other people are confused where to go as well. So they travel in one large group, but one woman gets a call from her daughter in Princeton.", mocking as the nursery guy during the snippet where Elliot tries calling her daughter in Princeton, "'Ask her if she likes hot dogs!'", with the woman in that scene asking him what's wrong, "How can you tell? Nobody's acted normal in this movie since it was greenlit.", continuing, "So everybody tries to figure out where to go next."
Weiss mentions when a man in the man says if they go west they would end up in Arundell, "They'll sing a song so much, you'll want to stab your ears out with an ice pick, but aside from that, they're cool.", commentarying, "But something else in this movie is starting to blow.", as the movie shows the military private yelling that his firearm is his friend, "He should've included, 'Toaster strudel and syrup! Oh, ketchup and hash browns! Rat feces and Denny's!'", as they watch an intense part where the private kills himself and Elliot scrambles to figure out what to do and makes a realization, causing Weiss to sigh, "Why do you say things like you're on a kid's show where the kids are supposed to answer back?", while the film has Alma and another woman asking Elliot what they should do as gunshots were heard.
"WHO TALKS LIKE THAT?! This isn't how we act! This is how a computer thinks we act!", the leader of team RWBY angrily argued, "They're like, 'We're uninvolved observers.' 'Probability is very low.' 'How shall we react to dead people? A MATH PROBLEM!' We think this was a joint writing team between HAL 9000 and GLaDOS!", before the team sees the part where Elliot tries to figure out as a wide angle lens focuses on him closely, "Okay, back away from the camera, guy. You're gonna blow snot on the lens.", as Elliot in the movie tells everyone about what if the plants were the main cause, "Oh, you mean that thing we already said it was?", snickering, "Yeah, to quote Wahlberg from earlier in the movie, 'Duh!' with a capital 'Uh'!"
Ruby's blonde sister says as the movie's next part showed the wind catching up with Elliot and the others, "I bet there'd be a twister with M. Night Shyamalan's Robot Chicken head in it saying, "'Auntie Em, what a twister! What a twister!'", abstracting, "They find their way into a model house where everything seems to be fake, so, naturally, considering their acting, they mistake props for human beings.", sighing when they watch Elliot talk to an inanimate plant, "Yeah, this is happening, people.", saying this while rubbing her temples, "He's like, 'Until then, I hope you don't mind if we put these folks on our Most Wanted list. Nothing against your kind, but if there's anything we Americans like, it's racial profiling.'"
"But another group of people are coming, so they run past this obvious metaphor, fearing that the group will become too big and they'll get infected. Though...again, the way they're talking, how can you tell they're not affected?", the Faunus girl resumes as they see a scene with one of the boys talking to Elliot, "So, the kids are talking about a meaningful relationship, while the adult is whining to be given his toy ring back? Is Shyamalan dyslexic with age numbers? Does he constantly get them backwards?", overviewing, "So after Zooey admits she had tiramisu with a guy late one night, and, of course, she mentions it was tiramisu because...we just assumed this was all written at a buffet somewhere...Wahlberg decides he wants to confess something, too."
The Schnee girl noticed when Elliot tells Alma that if they're going to die then he wants to tell her about his trip to the pharmacy, "Uh, didn't you just say you should keep going? This...doesn't seem like the time for...pharmacy store confessions.", focusing on the movie, "So they decide to drop by a house.", while they see a part where Elliot asks the owner of the house if they could get food but is rejected, "'Come on, we're talking hot dogs, tiramisu and cough syrup! We need some real conversations out here!'", with Elliot telling him that it wasn't poison gas the owner of the house is worrying about, "Even if there was, all your windows are open. Duh."
The next snippet from this scene has Elliot then proving he and the others with him were perfectly fine and unaffected, even singing Black Water by the Doobie Brothers. This makes team RWBY sigh and facepalm, burying their faces into their hands in embarassment.
"You are the laundry list of not normal! Everything you're doing is being written down on a book called How Not to Be Normal! There is literally a chapter called Seriously, I Can't Make This Shit Up!", Ruby gave an honest opinion, furthermore summarizing, "So to stop the evil crazy gas from getting in, they do the same thing of shooting two little boys off their porch.", seeing the short snippet where the two boys with Elliot, Alma and Jess were shot dead, "This was brought to you by...in the grand scheme of things, really no reason whatsoever. Even the gory unrated version of this scene has no reason too. But there's a little less awkward dialogue to listen to, huh?"
Yang outlines, "Oh, don't worry. That void is filled by this crazy broad who lives in the next house they come across.", and also says when Mrs. Jones in the following scene kindly said to Elliot about asking a favor for her to offer suffeer, "She could even add, 'Well, yeah, that's what I'd do if a random stranger dropped by my place.'", who then carries on, "Well, this place obviously seems safe, as they spend the night, but slowly realize she may not be all there herself.", confessing; "I'm not even gonna critique this scene. It's brought...so much joy and laughter from how famous it is, that it'd be a sin to critique this scene."
"So the lady seems to be acting nuttier and nuttier as, well, even the nutty acting seems a little bit off.", Blake commented, explaining when Mrs. Jones angrily demands Elliot to leave while giving anguished hand gestures, "This isn't a crazy gesture, this is... a Barbra Streisand singing performance! Actually, it may have a bigger connection than we thought.", indicating the next moment of the film, "But the tree mojo seems to affect her, too, and for an old lady, her head's really got some weight to it.", as they watch Mrs. Jones commit suicide by smashing windows with her head, "Man, you could smash a melon with that melon."
Weiss describes, "Wahlberg and Deschanel stay in separate buildings, but are able to communicate via very convenient pipe that allows them to hear each other.", as they see the next example of the movie where Alma asks Elliot if it wasn't safe anymore and if it was the end, "Man, you're fast to give up. It hasn't even been two minutes yet, and already you're like, 'This is the end! This is the end!'. You know, movies can go past an hour and half; though, we're begging you not to!", as the movie has Elliot and Alma talking about the mood ring he got her, "Always good to teach the kid new vocabulary words! Next, talk about how you are putting together your bondage swing!"
"And, I swear, I'm not kidding, I actually timed this; they wait literally just three minutes, before they decide they can't take it anymore, and they go outside to die! Yeah, three minutes! They drag the kid out there, too! Man, Leguizamo should have been more specific with that demand. It shouldn't have been, 'Don't take my daughter's hand unless you mean it', What it should have been was, 'Don't wait the length of microwaving a burrito to sacrifice my daughter to tree demons', you'd think that'd go without saying!", ranted the leader of team RWBY, making them laugh as she added, "It should have been the length of microwaving a hot pocket."
Ruby's blonde sister also pointed out the film's climax, "But, get this, it stops just at the point when they walk outside...I think. The actual surprise of this ending is kind of hard to follow. The name of the location pops up when it shows they're okay, in Arendull County at 9:58 AM. Well, does that mean they were in a safe place the whole time? If so, why did that woman kill herself? I mean, sure, she was crazy, but what are the chances she'd have the exact same craziness that makes you walk backwards and off yourself after doing so? Kind of a long shot."
"But then, just to make things more confusing, they say this.", the Faunus girl supports as Elliot in the movie says that it might've ended once they went out, with her watching over the scene and assuming, Well, wait. Why show us the location at that exact time, then? What did it matter? What was the real answer of what happened here!? Is this like Clue, and we're supposed to guess our twist ending?!"
The Schnee girl covers up the ending of the movie, "And yes, by the way, that is the ending. It cuts to three months later, nobody has any idea as to why or how this all happened, but...Deschanel is pregnant. Because...that's what this was all about?", presuming this.
"How does that make any sense?! How does any of this make any sense?! It's like trying to figure out how Robyn needs to come back in our review even though the Happy Huntresses are in trouble! Right?", Ruby exclaims, as she, Yang, Blake and Weiss look to their right.
Robyn Hill coincidentally appears to be on their right, crossing her arms and leaning by the wall near the window, agreeing with them; "Right."
"Right.", team RWBY said, "CRAP! What are you doing here, Robyn? How'd you get in here?"
Robyn told them, "I climbed a floor below and entered through the window."
"Your friends have been acting strange! What's up with them?", Ruby situated.
She said, "You mean Fiona, May and Joanna?"
"Yes, they're right outside our room, please help. It has something to do with The Happening...", Yang told everything.
Hill sighs, "To be honest, that movie sounds good but I understand the dilemma.", coming over to the door and opening it, letting her Happy Huntresses come in and saying to her fellow friends, "So I presume you made some new developments?"
"Yes. As you know, Joanna, May and I have solved our problems using symbolism.", Fiona says.
Joanna anticipates, "Looks like my strange quirk is saving the day!"
"And we all did this in one shot!", May accomplished.
The Mantle politician sighs once again, saying; "So I believe this could mean only one twist..."
"Yeah, they already said. It's walls.", Blake predicated.
Robyn nodded refusingly, "No, I think it's something completely different."
"All right. What is it, then?", sarcastically says Weiss for the inevitable.
Hill answers, "I believe it's...", raising her hand a bit.
The four wait to hear her answer.
"...the walls.", she said, pointing to the girls and smiling.
Team RWBY then look at her in confusement, dumbfounded.
"Are you serious right now?", they said.
Suddenly, Robyn, Joanna, Fiona and May all laughed their heads off. Yet, team RWBY didn't know what was going on that moment.
Ruby and Yang said frantically, "What's going on?!"
"Why are you all laughing?", Blake and Weiss question.
Robyn says, "It was all a prank, girls! Of course there is no Happening going around!"
"Are you kidding me?", Ruby said, shocked by this, "What's with the double twist?"
Joanna snickers, "That's what you just said it wasn't!"
"Yeah, it's a triple twist. You see, they said it was the walls, then I said it wasn't, only to reveal it was again. That's why Shyamalan is like the King of Twists.", explains Hill, before bursting into laughter happily with her Happy Huntresses, high-fiving and saying, "Best prank ever!"
Yang firmly responded, "Tell me this is the first prank you did, because that was just...confusing...!"
"It was. Totally worth a try, even if you ask me.", Robyn tells the four.
Fiona jokes, "As you know, that twist was so lame, it snapped us out of it!", trying to hold in her laughter.
"Trust me, I've been to better Huntsman classes that would have better twists than that.", May proved, smiling.
Robyn cuts to the chase, "But for the most part, I've seen the movie The Happening and it wasn't good or bad, but it had a pretty lame twist. You think it was a masterpiece or something?"
"Actually... No, it's the dumbest thing we've seen in years, but it's very entertaining.", Blake and Weiss tells her.
Ruby says their overall review of the movie; "From the acting, to the writing, to the directing, everything is completely wrong in this movie. But it's so creatively wrong, it's impossible not to get a laugh out of it. The choices made are so strange and so unnatural that it's one of the funniest unintentional comedies you could watch. So yes, we highly recommend it, not as an awful drama, but as a hilarious comedy. It's guaranteed to get several laughs out of you."
"Well, since that's taken care of, we'll best be on our way. I'm sorry for the prank me and my Happy Huntresses may have done, but rest assured, we won't do much of these things in the future.", settles the Atlas graduate.
Ruby and Yang accepted, "That's alright. But hey, the movie was so bad it's funny."
"It would've been hilarious if this Happening from your prank was actually caused by the oranges. That would make more sense!", giggled Blake and Weiss, as everyone laughed to this joke happily.
After this strange movie review, this prank, as well as the movie review, turns out to be a good laugh.
End of RWBY's Commentary of The Happening
Up Next: Ruby and Yang's Commentary of Cars 2
