In this twentieth non-canon review, Ruby and Yang review the sequel to Disney-Pixar's Cars, which now takes on a secret spy turn in the franchise. Will the two think this movie falters different from the first or do they think it takes on a whole different level?
Original Story and Entirely Written by Myself
BEACON
"Hello, I'm Ruby..."
"...and I'm Yang."
"We remember it so you don't have to.", both said.
Ruby takes a moment to say, "You do guys remember that we reviewed the first Cars, right?", explaining, "The first Cars came out in 2006 before Pixar's acquisition by Disney, and it became so big of a hit that Pixar decided to make a full-on animated franchise. There were sequels, short films, and even two spinoff films by Disneytoon Studios focusing on Planes! Hell, a third was supposed to be released but it was cancelled due to Disneytoon closing down back in 2015! Thank the gods that didn't happen."
"The first Cars eventually went to get 462 million dollars in the box trolls, and even obtained 10 billion dollars in 5 years for merchandise alone. Seriously, that amount of money was enough for Disney to make two new Cars movies, can you imagine that?", Yang unbelievably stated.
Ruby and Yang's Commentary of Cars 2 (Part 1)
The leader of team RWBY stated, "Once again directed by former Pixar chief John Lasseter who also directed the first one, not only this time it focuses solely on a racing genre, but would you like to know what they also incorporated? Secret spies! And we thought it's enough that the Penguins of Madagascar movie would later on do that eventually!", resuming, "Despite making about 100 million dollars more than its predecessor with a successful box office toll of over 562 million, it has the lowest critical rating for a Pixar film ranging at 39%. My gods is that deep? We never seen a Pixar film have that rating before!"
"It reminds me of Thor: The Dark World! It's rating was the lowest for any MCU film!", Yang mentions, with the other film having a 66% critical rating on Rotten Tomatoes, "But to be fair, although all the spy elements in this movie doesn't look to be promising, I do believe there will still be some racing to an extent that the first one had, and nevertheless it may even be as good and high-octane as the first.", before introducing, "Let's rev up and start our engines, this is Cars 2."
Cars 2
Ruby starts off, "The film opens with a British Secret Agent named Finn McMissile, who is on a secret mission to rescue a fellow spy named Leland Turbo. Who is he voiced by?", watching a snippet where Finn tells his crab boat friend Crabby that he's looking for a car in which she said in surprise, "Michael Caine is in this movie? Michael Caine!?", apologizing, "I'm sorry, guys. I know that Michael Caine is an amazing talented actor being in movies such as Kingsman and many Christopher Nolan films, but I think the main reason was because he was in another action movie Harry Brown. Yet honestly, his character in Cars 2 sounds like James Bond's take of Old Man Logan. Or better yet, he sounds like Alfred Pennyworth if he was a spy! I'm not even kidding, they go down that route!", describing, "He infiltrates an oil rig where the Dr. Blofeld car arrives at the scene of their crime., but Finn finds out that Turbo was killed, before his cover is blown.", as the next part shows Finn being pursued by many lemon cars, using explosives to blow up the lemon cars in a circular ramp.
"Wow, it's starting to feel like a completely different movie and MY GODS THAT WAS AWESOME!", Yang summarizes, "Finn does escape though and manages to fake his death. Meanwhile in Radiator Springs, we cut to Mater helping out a stranded car in need of help.", as they watch the part where Mater reunites with McQueen as he sends the towed car into Ramone's paint shop, where the towed car says he couldn't believe he went halfway to the county line, "'Uh, but would it be fine if I chose Neon colors for a paint job?'", as Yang then says, "Later that evening, they watch a news report by Mel Dorado showcasing an electric car named Miles Axelrod, played by Eddie Izzard, who is the creator of the super fuel Allinol and the new cross-country racing competition known as the World Grand Prix, as well as one of the Grand Prix competitors known as Francesco Bernoulli.", figuratively noting, "He's pretty much like the Ferrari type. Even this movie has some Ford v Ferrari feels!"
The leader of team RWBY synopsizes, "Mater however gives a call out to Bernoulli and proves that Lightning would beat him, but his friend manages to talk to him.", observing the moment where Lightning talks to Bernoulli and roasts him verbally with Ruby mocking, "'Hey! Maybe I should call you Fast and Furious! No one's used that name yet!'", who then says, "Lightning accepts his involvement in the World Grand Prix, as he, Mater and a few of his other friends travel to Tokyo where a lavish party was being held.", as she and Yang see the moment where Lightning tells Mater to be on his best behavior, with Ruby saying, "'Oh and just in case, don't run into any strippers, okay? We don't need another scandal.'", mocking again when Mater asks his friend Lightning for drinks, which the latter answers it's free with Mater surprised, "'Okay, I'm definitely gonna need to get wasted tonight!'"
"But it looks like Finn McMissile is at the party, who meets a fellow spy named Holley Shiftwell, played by Emily Mortimer. They learn about an American spy is at the party as they both plan to intercept him. As you can see, Mater in the meantime has consumed too much wasabi.", the blonde huntress said, as the two see the part where Mater interrupts McQueen's chat with Axelrod, drinking water from the waterfall display to quench the spiciness from his mouth before telling everyone to not eat the free 'pistachio ice cream'; "'And especially do not eat the blue mints!'", saying this as a reference to Home before Yang sees that Mater may have leaked oil as urination, "Oh, gods. Do we seriously...SERIOUSLY need a pissing scene for a Pixar film? We never seen any Pixar film where one character urinates embarassingly. But thank goodness, we're glad that it's oil instead of urine."
Ruby abstracts, "Mater goes to the washroom where he tests out a Japanese-style bathroom system while the real American spy named Rod Redline, surprisingly played by Ash himself, Bruce Campbell, confronts two lemon cars and commences a fight.", the next snippet showing Holley finding out where the spy is and Finn telling her to go to the site, in which she replies she couldn't go tp the men's loo, "'I don't wanna be called a trap like those animes do nowadays. Talk about trans masculinity.'", before continuing, "While that's going on, Mater comes face to face with the American spy during the latter's quarrel.", witnessing Mater telling the two lemon car henchmen about using the bathroom stall, "Goodness gracious, could you just shut using your potty mouth? Not as a profanite term by the way, just stop talking about bathrooms!"
"Mater also meets Holley, who believes that he must be the American spy they're looking for, also setting up a date for the both of them. Elsewhere, Professor Zundapp and his minions seem to capture Redline as they test an EMP emitter on him which only works on cars using Allinol fuel, causing them to...", says Yang, before the movie shows Redline's off-screen death as he blew up while the camera focuses on the footage with him and Mater, causing her to exasperately shake a bit and presume, "...explode! Man, this movie just got darker. That death's even worse than the one Hicks had in McQueen's nightmare scene in the last film. You could say this was much darker than that.", before resuming, "The first race of the World Grand Prix goes underway in Tokyo as Lightning once again recites the first lines from the first film.", the movie showing Lightning closing his eyes and saying, 'Speed. I am speed...', "'Remember, I still eat losers for breakfast.'"
The red-black-haired huntress told, "Unfortunately during the race, the lemon cars manage to stop one of the racers but not before they recognize Mater at the pit stop as they pursue him. However, Finn and Holley manage to stop the lemon cars while Mater follows blindly to his alleged date, accidentally causing McQueen to lose the Tokyo race, ending up with Francesco as the winner. As you can see, McQueen is so upset by it.", before she and Yang see the moment where Lightning argues angrily with Mater and saying that he doesn't need or want his help, "It would be much sadder if he added, 'Now go sit in the corner and think about what you did!'", saying, "Guiltridden for the previous night, Mater plans to go back to Radiator Springs and prepares to leave. But apparently, he meets Finn and in turn we then see an airport chase scene. As if the airport battle from Civil War wasn't great enough.", while the film shows a lemon car henchman shooting a rocket while Finn shoots another rocket, causing both of the rockets to explode while Mater asks if everything was okay back there.
"'It sounds like two rockets exploding- Are we in a spy movie right now?!'", jokes Ruby's sister, "But Holley and a spy plane voiced by Jason Issacs comes in and rescues them. Nice to see how Issacs took on animation before his role in Scoob!, kinda sounds familiar actually.", adding, "Back with Lightning and the others, they find out about Mater's departure and felt awful about it.", as Lightning sadly said that Mater would be safe when he comes back home, "'Yeah, and when this Grand Prix is almost done, I may need some help. Not to abolish, but to apologize for what I said to him.'", summarizing after, "Mater, Finn and Holley soon arrive in Paris where they interrogate McMissile's informant for clues about the mysterious photo of the lemon cars' leader. They eventually then travel to Italy, where Lightning and his friends arrive around the same time."
Ruby then says when the movie shows Lightning talking to an Italian car civilian as the latter tells him about Luigi and Guido's friendship about how they fought over a Ferrari, "Yeah, that's definitely how this universe's Ford v Ferrari is going, isn't it?", ending the first part of their Cars 2 review.
To be continued...
