RWBY's Commentary of The Last Airbender (Part 2 - Final)
"So they're given some bending scrolls by Master Mickey Mouse, but Aang explains that he can't bend all four elements.", Ruby starts the second part of the review, watching the next scene where they left off, before team RWBY were all surprised by Aang's sudden close-up in the movie, "Aah!", as Ruby reacted, "Lay off the close-ups, guy! He looks like he's transforming into Paul Giamatti! Gods, you can practically see their breath on the lens, they're so close!", continuing, "They decide now to finally go to the North Pole to have the great masters teach him waterbending. Meanwhile, Commander Zhao, we guess, is talking to this other guy who puckers his lips so much, who we swear he's waiting to be kissed by him."
Yang reacts as well when the four members of team RWBY see the Fire Lord in the movie (who wasn't concealed like in the show until the final season), "Wait a minute. That's the Fire Lord? That's the great badass villain in all this? That's the Fi-?!", before she threw a fit, raging angrily as her liac eyes turned red again; "The show does its thing better!", explaining, "The Fire Lord was built up big time, always kept in shadow until the final season. He was like the Doctor Claw of this show. And when he finally was revealed, he wasn't a monster or anything, but he was still intimidating. Even the picture Zuko stares at in the film looks like the original Fire Lord. But this? THIS? This is the most common, non-threatening person you could put in this role!"
"It's like they grabbed a guy at the grocery store and dressed him up as Biggus Dickus!", Blake complains, "Hell, Biggus Dickus is more intimidating than him! He at least is played by an actor we know is dead! Which kind of has the ghost value... It's more intimidating than this!", summarizing, "So Aang goes on his own to the Northern Air Temple to see if he can find any monks. He finds a villager who shows him a room filled with all his past lives. And in our opinion, the majority of the problems with this movie can be summed up right here. See if you can spot why."
When playing the scene where Aang is in a temple as he reflected with his past lives, yet he gives way too much exposition in the scene about his past, Weiss promptly told, "Don't see it? Allow us to explain. They have a great setup for an emotional moment. Aang is seeing all his past lives. The power and weight of who he is should hit him at this very point. But instead, what do they do? Try to explain more exposition. And that is the problem. Whether you're aware of the show or you're not aware of the show, the movie is all explanation with no humanity."
"Why do you think they waited twenty minutes of the film to ask him his name? Because that's not what was most important to Shyamalan. The identity? Who gives a shit? It can't be nearly as important as explaining...and explaining...and explaining...and explaining.", reflected the leader of team RWBY, "Well, WE DON'T FUCKING CARE! And you know why? Because we never once heard anyone in this movie say I feel this or I like this or I wonder this. There are no emotions being addressed. Traditional storytelling is setting up a character, sending them on their journey, and learning more about them through their journey. The Last Airbender movie is just chess piece storytelling. Character goes here, character goes there, character says this, pawn to king four."
Ruby's sister Yang elucidated furthermore, "So in this scene that should've been the emotional pinnacle of our main star, it's just more explaining about what happened rather than why it happened. So you pardon us if, rather than be concerned when the villager betrays him to the Fire Nation, I ask that you remind me what you revealed about him that's worth giving any investment whatsoever. This isn't us being angry that it's different from the show, this is us being angry that it's missing the most essential element of telling any story. If the character can never express any emotion, why should the audience ever express any emotion?"
"But yes, while we're on the subject, that does make this possibly one of the worst adaptations of all time! A show that created such memorable characters, characters you almost believe were real, you wanted to be real, you wished they were real, being portrayed as the most stock, boring, empty vessels of just explaining more plot is about as insulting to an adaptation as you can get.", the Faunus described the problem with the film.
The heiress finished her girlfriend's opinion, "By God, it's one of the few times I'm glad the characters we love so much are real here and are with us today, but not the characters from the actual movie. Could you imagine the animated Avatar characters actually seeing how they would be represented in movie form, like per say, if they've ever seen the live-action version? We fucking cringe, but we do believe it'll be hilarious by how they react to it."
"Thus, we continue with our Season 1 recap, as a character called the Blue Spirit breaks him free, and they fight their way out. We smell a Shyamalan over-long, overused tracking shot coming up!", signified Ruby as they watched the fighting scene oner next, "Okay, guy, tracking shots are fine, but when you use them for every other fight scene, it not only gets old, but it slows the action down. It's obvious the actors have to wait for the camera to get into place, thus taking a fight sequence that could be really quick and impressive and instead have half of it be them just standing around doing nothing. That's why we have editing, you dumbass jerk!"
Yang included, "If part of the shot didn't work or was hard to see, you edit it out! But here, screw it! He's like, 'I just wanna show off that I can do this in one shot!' Okay, great! You can do it! It looks cluttered, slow, and incredibly awkward, but FUCK! You could do it! Give that man a tediously obnoxious directing award! I think it's the same one that went to Spike Lee just a few years earlier before The Last Airbender released!", resuming, "So the Blue Spirit gets him out, and it's revealed to be Zuko."
"There's two reasons this curious scene was left in the movie rather than just having it cut out. One is that Zhao and Zuko are in a race to bring the Avatar to the Fire Lord, meaning one of them can cement their position forever. And the other reason, of course, being just so Shyamalan can shout 'What a twist!'", clarified Blake, "Actually, to the film's very little credit, Zhao, Zuko, and Iroh are probably the only decent actors in this film. They perform their parts well and probably have the closest thing to emotional moments this film could muster. That is, before it's cut off needlessly for more exposition."
Weiss nodded, "I bet Iroh at one part of the film would be saying to his relative Zuko, 'By the way, nephew, as your uncle, I care for you very- Oh, more story, more story, sorry, sorry, more story!'", synopsizing after, "So Aang and the team finally make their way to the North Pole, and...oh, God. Is this it? This has gotta be it. Please tell us this is it-", as they then notice Princess Yue in the movie's next snippet, "Oh, my God, it's even more phallic than I imagined! The stories were true! Gaze into the holy grail of comedic possibilities! Oh, my God, there's too many jokes to choose from!"
"Which one should we go with? Which one should we go with?!", delightfully asked the leader of team RWBY, as she suggested, "How about, 'What does she use for a headband, a censor bar?'", playing an air rimshot as she and her three friends all said in unison, "Magnificent!", while Ruby said, "Thank you for your unintentional hilarity!"
Aang suddenly says from outside their dorm room during their review, "Girls? Sorry to interrupt, but we think your friend has just arrived. She's here with us right now, and she was wondering if you four were doing okay with the review."
"It's true, team RWBY.", Robyn sincerely said.
Ruby answered, "That's nice. Now we-", before jolting in startlement, "GAH! Robyn?!"
"She just came here just a minute ago.", Zuko said.
Yang nervously said, "I think you may have to wait for a bit. We're in the middle of a stressful Last Airbender review right now-"
"I understand, girls. Take your time. I don't want to cause any trouble.", Robyn stated to the four outside the dorm.
Blake and Weiss both said, "We're trying to restore balance to the franchise!"
"That's the spirit.", Katara and Toph proudly said outside RWBY's dorm room.
Aang and Sokka reply, "We'll leave you guys to it."
"I'll talk to you guys about how you think the movie performed.", planned the Atlas graduate outside their room.
Ruby nodded, "Oh, uh...okay! Just give us more time to finish this, then.", answering as the four of them decides to continue with the red-black-haired huntress saying, "So in the show, Sokka and the princess of the Northern Water Tribe form a very powerful friendship, eventually resulting in a romance that would ultimately end in tragedy. Let's see if the movie does, too.", as the four of them watch the part where Katara narrated that Sokka and the princess became friends immediately, "And that's all you need! Yes, all the emotions and character developed can just be summed up in that one sentence! Shyamalan's bad writing knows how to cut the fat of all that pesky caring! By gods, why do we listen to all that pesky talk in Hamlet when it could've been summed up by saying the prince didn't like his uncle! Lion King connections there too, don't you think?"
"Indeed, sis.", agreed Ruby's elder sister before supporting her younger sister's opinion, "But we take it back. They do have one conversation. But thankfully, it's not used to develop character or form a strong bond. It's for, you guessed it, more explaining! Gods, Amelia from The Tick would get tired from hearing so much exposition in this movie!", summarizing, "So both Aang and Katara master their waterbending from Bill Connolly-Theoden, and as you can see...there's no stopping their incredible abilities now... Yet, look at all that water fly. Nobody dare cross the phenomenal power that these two- Okay, here's another problem with the movie: the bending takes forever! The original keeps the action quick and exciting, as... well, action should be!"
"Maybe two moves could do something impressive. But here, we could heat up some Hot Pockets before these guys do anything exciting! If the opening was being honest, it should really go with just Water, that's it.", improvised the Faunus as she, her Schnee girlfriend, and her other two teammates to giggle and laugh happily to this joke, "But, with the Fire Nation getting ready to attack and the Water Tribe getting ready to defend themselves with a call that lures them into a false sense of hilarity, Aang tries to figure out a way to fight them off without killing anybody as it's not the monks' way.", describing after watching a short snippet of the next excerpt of the movie, "So he comes across the Moon Spirit who's disguised as a fish...yeah, that wasn't the best explained in the show either, but...Aang meditates to figure out an answer."
The heiress reacts when Katara in the next part says to Sokka that she'll stay with Aang as he meditates, while Sokka and Yue go take care of the Water Nation during the battle, "Um, Katara doesn't seem like the best person to look after him. I mean, don't get me wrong. In the other version, it made sense. She had a kind, mature heart, but also the focus and strength to kick some ass in several awesome scenes. Nobody in their right mind would dare cross her. But in the movie...she pushed a guy. Well, maybe she'll finally be allowed to show her real strength when Prince Zuko comes and tries to take Aang away. And seeing how she made it very clear how Aang is her responsibility, she's gonna do everything in her power to make sure nothing happens to him-", before the team sees Zuko overpowering Katara in the next fight scene, "And you suuuuuuck! Katara and Sokka. They're just as useful as No Smoking signs in college."
"But Aang wakes up and escapes Zuko through the most masterful approach possible...reenacting a Tom and Jerry routine!", Ruby summarized as they watch the part where Zuko and Aang do this reference as the former was searching for the Avatar, "Yet things go awry when Zhao finds the Moon Spirit and kills it, destroying not only the Moon, but the Tribe's barely impressive waterbending!", climaxing, "But since the princess was given part of the Spirit to save her, she sacrifices her own life in order to put the Moon Spirit back in its place. (as Aasif Mandvi) I can hardly explain what I'm seeing, Jon, but the Moon just came back! (in normal voice) This results in Zhao getting axed, Slumdog Millionaire returning to his uncle, and Aang raising the waves to scare the rest of the army off. To be fair, even though the rest of this movie is extremely bad, the cinematography, music and effects in this scene was downright spectacular, despite how the anime treats this as a water-style mecha-like form instead of a giant wave. By the way, for someone who can't kill, I don't think some of the Fire Nation guys made it out okay. And we end this crap-sterpiece with a To Be Continued that, thank gods, will never be continued.", reacting to the end of the film as the movie teases Azula, "Yes, I'm sure she'll join the Super Mario Bros., Skeletor from the Masters of the Universe, Buckaroo Banzai, The Golden Compass, and M. Bison's hand in Street Fighter in that incredible, sure-to-happen sequel! What a piece of shit!"
Team RWBY were about to finish, "So that was The Last Airbender-"
"Girls? Are you done yet?", Robyn asked from outside their room.
Ruby then said, "On second thought, why don't you give us a few more minutes? We just need some not-literal breathing space. We're so close to bringing justice to the Avatar: The Last Airbender franchise!"
"I'm sorry, but I would like to talk to you girls at this moment because I heard you just finished the movie.", the Mantle politician refused.
Yang tensed, "Not now, Robyn. We need to think for a couple minutes and then you'll talk to us!"
"Robyn's hoping to talk you. She and us are worried about you four-", Aang tried talking some sense to team RWBY.
Blake and Weiss both reply, "NOT NOW! Give us some time because the movie's taking a whole lot out of us!"
"Please, RWBY! I just need to talk!", pleaded the Atlas graduate.
Ultimately, Ruby, Yang, Blake and Weiss all scream in tension intensifyingly, overwhelmed by the horrendous outlook of The Last Airbender, losing their consciousness.
Then, there was darkness.
Moments after, team RWBY find themselves regaining consciousness as they found themselves in a white bright void.
"Hello...?", Ruby nervously said, astounded by the predicament they're in.
Yang walked around in the void with her three friends, "Anyone?"
"Where are we?", Blake and Weiss said in surprise.
Then, a pair of voices were heard;
"You four...are in the afterlife."
Team RWBY turned around to face the two Gods of Remnant themselves, the golden God of Light and the purple God of Darkness.
Ruby answered back, "The...afterlife? Are you saying that...we died?!"
"No. In fact, the four of you are still unconscious, but we understand that you four were reviewing The Last Airbender.", the God of Darkness said first.
The God of Light next said, "And we've seen that you have attained inner peace and you were finally able to restore balance to the franchise. But most of all, you four have been doing extraordinary well together."
"Wait...so that means...", figured out Ruby.
Yang guessed, "Are you two like...our spirit guides? That's bull-"
"No need to swear, Yang. Doesn't even sound convoluted. Sorry if we showed any signs of disrespect, yet the four of us do respect you always.", calmed Blake.
Weiss stated, "You see, we were being overwhelmed by how terrible the movie performed, and yet somehow we ended up here."
"It's safe to assume that this is like a subconscious epiphany, like movies such as A Million Ways to Die in the West and The Simpsons Movie.", adds Ruby.
Yang included, "So the point is, I believe the anime-styled cartoon is better than the movie itself. We're all glad The Legend of Korra live-action movie adaptation didn't happen."
"And it will never happen.", both Gods said, "The lesson that you all must learn, you have already achieved it. The show's spirit still remains, the movie is truly to blame, Avatar and Korra did what they retain, treat them both as one and the same.", as we saw a splitscreen of the Gods of Light and Darkness' faces (left and right sides respectively), before a four-way split-screen with Ruby, Yang, Blake and Weiss' different sides of their faces (Ruby with top left, Yang with top right, Blake with bottom left, Weiss with bottom right).
Team RWBY then learnt, "So...we now already done what's needed to restore balance to the franchise..."
"Yes. So as you believe in the legend of Aang, you shall hold onto the true legacy that you know and love in your hearts.", the two Gods taught them, before they started to fade away after this lesson.
Ruby questioned, "Gods? Wait! Don't go! Gods!", as they notice everything turning bright again.
The four of them decided to meditate the same way they did earlier and thus...
...Ruby, Yang, Blake and Weiss opened their eyes, regaining consciousness as they were laying on the floor together, as they had fallen off their commentary chairs after the end of The Last Airbender.
Robyn had busted the door open whilst they were unconscious, who was now worried and caring for the four girls, while the five Avatar characters looked at them worryingly.
"Are you girls okay? When I came in here, I...saw you four unconscious. What happened?", Robyn said to the four girls.
Ruby and Yang jolted back up, realizing, "Guys, I think we've restored balance to the franchise!"
Robyn, Aang, Sokka, Katara, Zuko and Toph tilted their heads in question, "How?"
"To be honest, guys, the franchise was never out of balance to begin with.", Blake and Weiss stated furthermore.
Ruby says their overall review of the movie;
"The movie is awful, the acting is awkward, the writing beyond lazy, and it fails both trying to be a faithful adaptation and a standalone movie. But it could never be a standalone movie because there's only one Avatar: the series. It was perfectly paced, perfectly performed, perfectly animated. It was that rare anomaly that, chances are, can never be recreated. And there's no reason to change it. It's like trying to make an opera by Mozart better, you can't do it. Every note is where it needs to be. We're sure there'll be different adaptations in the future the same way people did with Looney Tunes and other timeless characters, but the point is the original characters are still timeless characters. And nothing anyone can do can change that. If anything, the bad adaptation makes us appreciate the original material even more. So you can do whatever you want to the franchise."
Yang supported, "Because no matter what, nothing can take away or make any better what's already perfect."
"Congratulations, girls... That is exactly what I wanted to hear. I understand how atrocious that movie is to most people, but we do know for a fact that the Netflix series will be much more faithful to the show. The movie had done it all wrong in the first place. And now, I'm proud of you girls of how you thought of the movie. Even I felt the same way too.", Robyn discussed.
Aang clapped, "You done it, girls. Now our franchise can live in peace and harmony."
"And it's all thanks to you four.", proudly said Katara.
The Avatar said, "You all kicked the movie's butt and learned the true value of the show."
"You've done a great job.", Toph nodded simply.
Sokka included, "We all owe ya one."
"Maybe we can treat you girls to dinner? Maybe have a sleepover together or something? Our other friends were just hanging out with your fellow team JNPR and Penny.", Zuko suggested, smiling whilst keeping a stoic, proud behavior.
Blake said, "You mean your girlfriend Mai, and the others including Suki and Ty Lee?"
"Yes.", Zuko said, "They were watching some funny stuff there, so we were wondering if-"
Weiss insists, "We'd love to see what they're doing.", as she, Ruby, Yang and Blake go off to meet up with JNPR and the others.
Ruby said, "Pyrrha, Nora, Penny, Jaune, Ren, Mai, Suki, Ty Lee, how are you guys doing-", as the four team members of RWBY came over and went into JNPR's dorm room, before the four girls' jaws drop to see what was up.
Pyrrha, Nora, Mai, Ty Lee and the others were laughing happily to Youtube Poops by Ty Lee's request while team RWBY were busy reviewing The Last Airbender movie. The videos they've watched together included such YTPs like Spingeblab Gets a Horrible New Job and Squishward the Irrespondible's Day of Dirty Deeds. They were in the middle of watching the second one, laughing their heads off.
"What are you guys doing?", Yang said.
Mai and Suki apologized, "Our sincerest apologies. Ty Lee had requested to show a few funny videos for us to watch while you were doing your movie review."
"And we have to admit, it is extremely hilarious!", Pyrrha, Nora and Penny giggled as another funny part of the Squishward YTP was shown, causing them to laugh happily again.
Ruby, as well as Yang, Blake and Weiss couldn't help but join in with the others by giggling after seeing an excerpt.
Ty Lee turned to team RWBY and responded, "There's a lot more where these came from. Wonder if me, Mai, Suki, my sisters and my Kyoshi Warrior friends could do this more often..."
"Sounds like a spinoff to me if this Critique Universe.", says Blake with a smirk, breaking the fourth wall.
Weiss continued the fourth wall break, "I definitely bet it'll be funny.", giggling with her girlfriend, before Aang playfully bloodbends Weiss, causing her to hit herself, "WHAT IS YOUR DEAL?!", this outburst causing team RWBY, Robyn and the others to laugh.
"Overall, the cartoon of Avatar is definitely the most fun between the cartoon and the movie.", proclaims Ruby, before laughing with her friends again whilst JNPR and the other supporting Avatar characters were laughing to the YTP they're watching.
End of RWBY's Commentary of The Last Airbender
Up Next: Ruby and Yang's Commentary of Bio-Dome
