In this twenty-seventh non-canon review, team RWBY's next movie review after the start of their second season is joined by Maki Oze, Tamaki Kotatsu and Iris from Fire Force, as the seven of them make their first collaboration together to review the 2010 Disney/Nicolas Cage-led adaptation of the Mickey Mouse Fantasia segment, The Sorcerer's Apprentice. And as the girls review it, they eventually will see why Nicolas Cage as Mickey Mouse surprisingly doesn't work.

BEACON
7:30 AM

The morning after the Grimm attack and the start of their social event, Ruby wakes up before her other teammates do, hours after doing two reviews with Cameron late last night showcasing Child's Play 2 and 3.

She looks at the time as it read 7:55 AM.

"Great. Slept for only six hours...", Ruby said, who then looks over to her three teammates as she then, "Wake up, girls. Rise and shine."

Yang, Blake and Weiss then slowly get up from their slumber as they all yawned.

"What time is it?", Yang exhausts.

Ruby says, "Almost 8 in the morning. We had a great start last night. Even me and Cammie catched up with the second and third Child's Play movies."

"Oh my goodness, weren't they scary.", Blake and Weiss said, awestruck.

The red-black-haired girl rustles her hair, "Yeah. But that's the last of Chucky we'll be reviewing."

"That's good. So, what's happening? I'm thinking we should do another movie review before we go down and meet the others for breakfast.", Yang suggested, "Won't even take long."

Ruby decides, "Well...that sounds good, but just as long as breakfast is still available by the time it ends. Maybe we could do a Nicolas Cage one?"

"Which is it?", Blake and Weiss ask her.

She decides, "Maybe the Disney one... The Sorcerer's Apprentice."

"That sounds magical, but...okay.", Yang, Blake and Weiss said to Ruby as the four started to get ready for their review.

Once they settle in, Ruby then began, "Hello, I'm Ruby..."

"...I'm Yang..."

"...I'm Blake..."

"...and I'm Weiss."

"We remember it so you don't have to.", team RWBY introduced, before Ruby went on to say, "Why do we fall for Nicolas Cage movies?", before explaining, "There used to be a time where when he was good, he was amazing, and when he was bad, he was still amazing. He was one of the most entertaining people to watch."

Yang refers, "But then he got into making so many of them that the Cage magic was spread too thin. Like butter scraped over too much bread."

"It wasn't as much fun anymore. Nevertheless, we look forward to them. Why? Because we review them.", Blake reasoned.

Weiss supported her girlfriend, "But no joke; if anyone ever involves a celebrity in something I like, I always fall for it."

Knock, knock, knock.

The four turn to the dorm room door as it opened to see Maki, Tamaki and Iris (from Fire Force) peeking their heads in and saying simultaneously, "Surprise!"

"Wow! Nice to see you guys! I've seen you last night with the others arriving in Remnant after the Grimm fiasco with Cameron and the others.", Ruby smiled, "No wonder!"

Maki Oze smiled, "That's right, we've heard the news. I seen that Cameron MacCloud was the savior last night from the attack. Glad she and her friends made it out okay."

"And it was amazing! Everyone else was there, so not only did one of Cammie's friends Faye sent the message but it was also to spread the invitation to the social event she and the others are participating in.", Tamaki Kotatsu mentioned.

Iris blessed, "And we're happy to join. Our friends at the Special Fire Force Company 8 don't seem to mind. But they want us to return when this thing is over."

"We've heard about your reviews so far, so...", Maki said before asking, "What movie are you doing this time?"

Ruby simply told, "The Sorcerer's Apprentice?"

"Ooh! The Sorcerer's Apprentice! You know, RWBY, in the course of reviewing some Disneyland and other theme park rides in our spare time together, we three also sometimes review their movies and other projects.", Maki said.

Ruby and Yang smiles again, "Good."

"Really?", interested Blake and Weiss.

Maki scratches the back of her head, "...And, uh, we also react to hilarious videos as well."

Silence ensues between the seven of them.

All of a sudden, Ruby and Yang started pushing Maki, Tamaki and Iris out of the dorm room, up until they are outside in the hallway.

"I'm very sorry, girls. We were thinking of reviewing this by only the four of us, and we really appreciate you reviewing with us. So would it be okay if you hung out a bit with Ty Lee for a bit while we review and get ready for breakfast afterwards? We could do something later afterwards.", Ruby apologized.

Maki, Tamaki and Iris felt saddened, "Oh... Okay. Sorry to disturb the four of you."

Ruby then shuts the door before she said, "Okay... Thus, in 2010, Nicolas Cage gave us another dull-saster with The Sorcerer's Appre-", before stopping mid-sentence as she felt regretful for the previous moment; she goes back to the door, opens it and says to Maki, Tamaki and Iris who were gloomily walking away, "Girls? I take that back, we need you for this review, now please get over here."

The three girls from the Special Fire Force Company 8 smiled happily as they all ran back and into RWBY's dorm room, cheering, "YES! Thank you, RWBY! This is The Sorcerer's Apprentice!"

"In 1940, Walt Disney released perhaps his most audacious experiment in a career of audacious experiments. Fantasia, heralded by some as Walt's masterpiece, combined classical music with classic Disney animation in ways no one had seen before.", Maki told.

Tamaki explains, "And its most famous sequence is The Sorcerer's Apprentice starring Mickey Mouse. It became so good that sixty years after Fantasia's release, it was featured in the film's sequel, Fantasia 2000, as a reprising classic segment along with seven other all-new segments."

"A simple story about a janitor who almost destroys the world, it featured the mouse who started it all in his red robe and blue hat magically controlling the cosmos, becoming one of the most iconic images in Disney's illustrious history.", Ruby recounted.

Iris then went on to say, "Then, seven decades later after the first Fantasia and a decade after the second, this presumably happened."

Team RWBY, Maki Oze, Tamaki Kotatsu and Iris' Commentary of The Sorcerer's Apprentice (Part 1)

"Thus, we got a movie that has little to nothing to do with The Sorcerer's Apprentice called The Sorcerer's Apprentice.", Yang starts off.

Maki says, "Directed by Jon Turtletaub."

"Wait, you mean the guy who directed National Treasure and its sequel Book of Secrets, While You Were Sleeping, Phenomenon, Cool Runnings, The Kid, and-", team RWBY asked eagerly.

Maki, Tamaki and Iris added, "And, oh, yes... 3 Ninjas!"

"SCORE!", team RWBY cheers.

The three Fire Force gloomily said, "Oh, and also The Meg."

"Score?", supposed the four RWBY girls.

Maki and Tamaki continued, "The film was trying to cash-in on hugely successful cinematic updates of Disney properties at the time, like Pirates of the Caribbean, Herbie Fully Loaded, The 2006 Shaggy Dog, The Haunted Mansion, Tron: Legacy, and of course...Pirates of the Caribbean. But where that movie at least had some connection to the original source material, this..."

"...had a dancing broom for a minute.", revealed Blake and Weiss.

Iris put her hands together, "Authentic."

"Let's take a look at why the magic is gone with The Sorcerer's Apprentice.", Ruby introduced once again.

The Sorcerer's Apprentice

Iris starts the movie off, "It opens with a prologue so complicated, you'd swear they were trying to squeeze in five other movies into this movie.", as the opening narration was heard in the movie's opening scene which sounded a bit like Ian McShane.

"I bet the narrator's like, 'This is Ian McShane, by the way. I figured I'd introduce myself because I have no idea what character I'm supposed to be in this. Nevertheless, I'll still leave a bigger impact in Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides.'", Ruby mocks.

Maki says when the narrator reveals Merlin is fighting his enemy Morgana, "Well, that and Transformers 5: The Last Knight.", as the film shows Merlin's apprentices Horvath betraying the wizard.

"Yeah. Nice read there, Spirit Halloween Storebeard.", Yang sarcastically said, "This is why the Borg Queen Morgana is assimilating you.", just before the seven see Morgana kill Merlin as two more of his apprentices fight her, while one of the two (Veronica) absorbs Morgana's soul into her body.

Tamaki says, "This movie's in such a hurry, they dissolve from one shot to the exact same shot."

"Now, we hate it when movies do this. This was clearly a full scene at one point, but it didn't work, so they cut it down in editing and tried to make it faster.", Iris exampled.

Blake agrees, "We see what you girls mean.", as the movie shows the narrator explaining how Merlin's apprentice Balthazar placed the possessed Veronica (with Morgana's soul) into the Grimhold, which was an inescapable prison in the form of a nesting doll, "That you can buy at your grandma's antique store.", before describing, "So Balthazar, played by Cage, searches the world for Merlin's successor, the Prime...Merlinean that will one day defeat the trapped Morgana."

"But he'll in no way use his powers to stop the atrocities of history.", the second-generation pyrokinetic says, as the film's narrator told that mankind would never be safe until Morgana is destroyed.

Weiss suggests, "Maybe you can use those powers to stop two World Wars on Earth, if you have the time?! yeah, it'll be more like Transformers 5!"

"Slavery, genocide? Those'll sort themselves out. He's gotta keep the world safe!", remarked the third-generation pyro girl, with the others nodding in agreement.

The pyrokinetic nun abstracts, "Flash forward to our young protagonist being awoken by his corporate masters, heading to school in the year 2000...!"

"This is David, a boy who's so new to dating that he asks a girl out the same way a girl would ask a girl out.", Ruby prefaced as the film shows David giving his future love interest Becky a note in the form of a questionnaire asking if he would be her friend or girlfriend, "Yeah, where's the box for I Would Like to Be David's Restraining Order?"

Yang also summarizes, "But the note blows away, and David chases after it.", as David in the film was trying to get the note until a woman wearing headphones finds it and throws it away in the alleyway as David continues to go after it.

"David's like, 'I guess I could just ask her, since she clearly already knows I wrote it, but I need the receipt for my taxes!'", imitates Maki.

Blake synopsizes, "But he comes across Merlin's magical shop of Gremlins reading The Neverending Story as he looks at all the mysterious wonders. Like, look. A decapitated little girl's head!", as this disgusts the girls fearfully.

"He literally bumps into Cage, who, as you would expect, is a little quirky.", Tamaki continues as it showed a scene with Cage's character Balthazar interacting with the young David in the store.

Weiss reasons, "Okay, movie. Nicolas Cage is one of those people you do not need to overscore."

"Yeah, he's already his own strange music.", Iris said.

Maki then says, "A magic ring clings to his hand, meaning he's the chosen one. Because God knows why your actions should make you special. He's just chosen!"

"But an evil villain is released as well.", Ruby says as David accidentally breaks a Grimhold doll as the kid says 'No way...', "Is that all this twerp says?! This kid really knows his vocabulary from A to A!", as the broken Grimhold doll had cockroaches crawling out as it forms to reveal Horvath, as Balthazar sends him to the ceiling just when he was about to talk to David and asks the kid what happened to the doll, "He's like, 'Oh, apologies. I guess I could have just looked down.'"

Tamaki playfully added, "Question two: How'd it get burned?! HOW'D IT GET BURNED?!", causing herself and the others to laugh, "The evil Horvath, played by Alfred Molina, manages to fight Cage back.", as the girls watch Balthazar and Horvath have a swordfight in the film's next fight sequence.

"Ta-da-da-ta, ta-da-da-ta, he's Nicolas Cage Sparrow!", Yang sang in the tune to He's a Pirate from Pirates of the Caribbean.

Iris outlines, "Molina throws fire at him, only to find out fire doesn't hurt him. So...why did he throw fire at him?", just when the two wizards are then imprisoned in a Chinese urn with a ten-year lock curse.

"They both get sucked into the magic urn, and David leaves the store and...coincidentally, comes across his field trip.", Blake evokes as the movie had the kids harrassing David because of believing he peed his pants but it was a jar of water that broke, while the kids laughed at him.

Weiss reacts, "Oh, my God! That kid's laugh is terrifying! Is she eating somebody's soul while laughing that hard?"

"We don't know, maybe.", Maki, Tamaki and Iris insist.

Ruby says the next scene of the movie, "Cut to 10 years later, where David has grown up into man seeking plot, Jay Baruchel."

"A shame his voice didn't grow up with him, as it constantly sounds like two geese fighting over rye bread.", Maki disappointly says, "He lives with the unsuccessful prototype of Ned in Spider-Man: Homecoming and comes across an old familiar face."

When hearing Becky's last name in the movie as Barnes, Ruby excites, "Bucky Barnes?!"

"Hang on, I've always wanted to do this.", Maki said before pulling out a paper and starts writing, "Longing, rusted, seventeen, daybr-", before Yang suddenly snatches it from it and rips the paper into a million pieces, "Hey!"

Yang reveals, "Yeah, in a bizarre twist, this is actually the scary girl that was laughing at him all those years ago."

"Are you sure?", Tamaki rose an eyebrow.

"Maybe, or the one to the left is the right one.", Yang replies.

Blake carried on, "He helps her fix the college radio station she works at, while Cage and Molina have a vase...off.", as the movie has the now-freed Horvath tossing the Chinese urn out the window with Balthazar escaping the urn at the last second.

"You'll take me to a lawyer to stop a Dresden Files lawsuit.", imitates Weiss when Balthazar in the movie goes to the Chrysler building and touched the gargoyle.

Tamaki then said, "Molina finds David and tries to force him to give him the Russian doll, known as the Grimhold."

"And at that very moment, the word nerp was created.", spoke the red-black-haired huntress when David in the film tries to escape from Horvath but bumps into the metal door, not realizing it didn't open by pushing it.

Iris condensed, "He finally figures out the sorcery of opening a door, and Molina sends wolves after him, though, honestly, there's about a billion ways he could have just kept him in that room. But it's cool, Cage turns them into puppies!"

"If he could turn the wolves into puppies, how come he couldn't turn Molina into a baby?", Ruby's blonde sister asked her.

The pyrokinetic nun wisely answers, "Because then he'd have to raise him with Holly Hunter. And the Coens already have enough repeating."

"Cage files in, though, on a pretty badass metal eagle.", the black-haired Faunus abridges when it shows Balthazar flying in as he asks David about the doll which was the same question he asked him ten years prior.

The white-haired heiress commented, "That's exactly what we want Nicolas Cage riding a badass metal eagle to say."

"They escape, and Dave tries to take in the situation.", Maki said as another scene with Balthazar and David was shown, telling their predicament of their hard times revolving an urn, the latter claiming he was stuck in a figurative urn of ridicule, "That line of dialogue guest directed by Judd Apatow.", with the girls seeing this being unimpressed.

"I chose.", nodded Ruby as she resumes, "Hey, here's a fun game. Try to spot the moment where Nicolas Cage actually seems invested in what he's saying."

Maki suddenly blurts out, "Trick question! There are NO moments when he's invested in this!"

"It's so weird. He just looks and sounds so bored. The whole movie is stunningly devoid of Nicolas Cage freakouts or any energy to speak of.", Tamaki venomously rated with a cat-like hiss.

Iris argues, "You know how he likes to alternate between screaming and soft muttering? Here, it's just soft muttering for the whole movie! It's Nicolas Cage as a sorcerer! How is this dull?!"

"You see? This is what I'm talking about. There's no more Nicolas Cage freakout movies anymore. I always think it's gonna be one, and it never is! Well, you know what? I'm not gonna be that gullible again!", Yang agrees with their opinion.

Blake continues for her friends, "So Cage gives Dave a crash course in...", sighing, "...the science of magic. Actually, they do that surprisingly a lot in this movie. It sounds more like a science-fantasy-fiction hybrid.", before the film had David asking the wizard Balthazar if sorcery and science are both magic in which the latter answered yes to both.

"No and no. When you try to shoehorn science into magic, all you do is make it less fun for the fantasy lovers, and even more infuriating for the science nerds!", refused Maki.

Weiss said, "We don't need to know the science of the flux capacitor. We don't need the engineering manual for the Ring of Power. And definitely we don't need method for midi-chlorians!"

"They go to Chinatown to see if they have any of that Mulan Szechuan dipping sauce. Bad news, they don't. But they decide to look for the doll, which they trace back to an acupuncturist. This leads to a lot of comedic antics.", Ruby epitomized as David sees two Chinese women seeing him in the next snippet as he said hi to them, "All right, that's all he could come up with. Let's see how Cage is doing."

Tamaki observes when Balthazar meets another Chinese woman inside the building he's searching in as he compliments her hair in Cantonese, "Okay, his piss-poor Cantonese is all the comedy we need."

"But Goro's less-impressive two-armed brother tries to attack, even conjuring up a Chinese dragon from a parade dragon dance costume.", Yang said, as this said scene was shown with the dragon pursuing David, "I bet he's like 'Oh, my God! I have no idea how to train these!'"

In the same scene, Balthazar fights Hovarth as the former uses beads to tie him up, the seven girls hesistantly yelled, "NOT THE BEADS! NOT THE BEADS!", as the CGI dragon in the movie continues chasing David up the building.

"Oh, Jesus. Susan Sarandon's dragon from Enchanted looked more real!", Blake and Weiss said, summarizing when David defeats the dragon and causes it to fall on the Chinese villain, "The dragon is defeated, just as the cops show up on the scene."

Iris imagined, "I bet one of the cops is like, 'We had reports of a Nicolas Cage movie on the loose.'", as they see Balthazar and David impersonating as NYC cops as Cage's character spoke in a New York accent.

"Glad to know his New York is as good as his Cantonese.", comments Ruby.

Maki asks, "Does he think New York is Boston?", before summarizing the movie's next part, "Cage takes Nerpface to a safe place to train him, as he opens up the book to open up the book.", just when the movie shows Balthazar opening and showing David a magical book, making it bigger and heavier as he says through the book's sections.

"Okay, that was pretty cool.", team RWBY said.

Maki, Tamaki and Iris agree, "Yeah, give them a point.", as they wrote one point on their Goddamnit We Actually Liked Something poll as they see another part with Balthazar and David in the same scene discussing the Merlin Circle.

"Cage would be thinking, 'You know, the first time I did a Bruckheimer production, I was teamed up with Sean Connery. What life choices brought me here?'", Ruby said, ending the first part of their review.

To be continued...