In this twenty-eighth non-canon review, on the same day as RWBY's Sorcerer's Apprentice review with fellow Fire Force characters Maki, Tamaki and Iris, Yang collaborates with Psycho Pass character Akane Tsunemori on a movie review after breakfast, on an animated spy movie that also revolves around pigeons and secret agents. Will this a Blue Sky masterpiece by its animated standards?

Original Story and Entirely Written by Myself

BEACON

"Hello, I'm Yang..."

"...and this is Akane Tsunemori. A proud investigating representative of the Public Safety Bureau's Criminal Investigation Division."

Yang chuckles nervously, "Okay... We remember it so you don't have to."

"Today, we'll be looking at an animated movie that would be one of the most underwhelming animated movies of 2019, as well as one of its most awesome Blue Sky Studios movies...which revolves around two things. One...secret agents. Two...pigeons.", Akane said.

The blonde huntress smiled, "But not just any ordinary pigeon, it's one that takes the same formula as Disney! Hey, we wouldn't be sold if it wasn't!"

Yang Xiao Long and Akane Tsunemori's Commentary of Spies in Disguise (Part 1)

"Based on the underrated animated short film Pigeon:Impossible, this film not only borrows loose elements from the short film, but since it became the first Blue Sky Studios film to be released by Disney under the 20th Century Fox banner..." Yang states, "...not until the name 20th Century Studios came along...", before resuming, "...this spy flick takes on an all-new twist...the same thing that Disney thrice did in their films. As if Blue Sky hasn't gotten to Disney's standards yet."

Akane supported, "The film took up over 170 million above a $100,000,000 budget, the critics gave it positive reviews not just for its satire style for spy flicks, but also...basically like any other good animated flick."

"Let's see what this all-new spy film has to offer besides a risk of the film being a heap of bird poo, this is Spies in Disguise.", the huntress introduced.

Spies in Disguise

Yang starts off, "The film opens up in Japan, where we're introduced to a cool secret agent named Lance Sterling, played by Will Smith.", as the two of them see Lance call the birds 'rats with wings'.

"Sorry, but Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs already done that.", Akane apologized, "Sterling appears to be on a secret mission to intercept the arms deal of a stolen deadly attack dronenamed the Assassin by Kimura, played by Heroes actor Masi Oka."

The elder sister of Ruby summarizes, "But as he was about to given by support by the H.T.U.V...", as she and Akane watch Sterling tell the H.T.U.V director Joy Jenkins that he flies solo, "He's like, 'Now if you'll excuse me, it's James Bond's Mission:Impossible time!'", before describing, "So he spies on Kimura as the buyer arrives, who appears to be a cybernetic villain with a robot claw...Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget, take note...named Killian, played by Ben Mendelsohn."

"For someone to voice a bad guy like Ben Mendelsohn, he was pretty good in films like Rogue One, Ready Player One or Captain Marvel.", the investigator said.

The blonde huntress nods, "Those first two films are a foreshadow, just so you know."

"But it looks like Sterling's cover has been blown, but he takes down Kimura with a Vulcan nerve pinch and confronts Killian.", Akane says as it showed Killian grabbing Lance by his face and saying he'll show him pain like he never imagined, the girl mimicking him, "And soon after, you will join the Empire under the rule of Darth Vader!", who then said, "Lance fights him off quite for a moment before henchmen to take him down, and he distracts the enemies with a burst of...kitty glitter?"

Yang shrugs, "Yeah, the LEGO movies did those before, which is kinda neat and cute by the way, we'd take it for granted.", continuing, "After Sterling escapes Kimura's henchmen and takes the suitcase from Killian that contains the attack drone, one opening sequence then BOOM! Opening spy movie credits incoming!", as they watch the opening credits of the film whilst the song Freak of Nature plays.

"This movie's awesome, baby! Looking good so far, baby! If you wanna watch it, anywhere you want it...", the female investigator sung to the tune of Freak of Nature during the opening credits of the movie as she and Yang dance to the beat, "And there's no denying it, this is the best animated opening credits sequence we ever seen since Monsters Inc. Plus, it looks like a James Bond movie with a dash of shadow, neon and adrenaline. Take everything you know and love about spy movies and turn it upside down in its own unique animated way. That is pure animated magic."

The elder sister of RWBY admits, "It's a lot better opening credits sequence than those overly cliched spy film openings besides Bond or Mission:Impossible. 10 minutes in and it's already starting to turn out good.", abstracting, "After the opening credits, Lance arrives back at the H.T.U.V under the Washington monument, 'cause you know it's so secretive.", watching the part where Lance fistbumps a guy as his friend tells the latter to never wash his hand again because of the strength he embedded from it, "That is if you don't want to get sick.", before continuing, "He goes to see the inventor of the kitty glitter, who appears to be a teen named Walter Beckett, played by Tom Holland. You know, for some reason, I don't really think I enjoy this character much often."

"Why's that?", the brown-haired girl questioned.

The blonde huntress told, "Well, since he's voiced by Tom Holland, he actually a great job voicing him. But a part of me has me thinking that I don't like his character very much. He looks like Linguini from Ratatouille if he merged with the MCU Peter Parker. And I know people are saying, 'Hey! He must be the new Tony Stark!', and which I do respect he's kinda like that. In the movie, his character's a bit of a science person, he's an inventor, and of course he's socially inept, but the humor or awkwardness they built for this character just really gets to me, you know? But at least he's into South Korean culture since he's listening to Knock Knock by Twice and watching K-dramas!"

"Really? People really must've gotten a lot into K-dramas these days.", Akane sighed before she says, "After having a talk with Walter, Lance fires him, but not before he tells him of a secret developing experiment that would make him...disappear...", mystifying, "The suspense is killing me with that one word. Well, as long as it doesn't turn into Invisible Man on us."

Yang outlined, "He takes the suitcase to Joy Jenkins, played by Reba McEntire, but finds out that the attack drone was indeed missing. We're also introduced to Marcy Kappel, played by Rashida Jones, who has her agents and her associates Eyes, played by Karen Gillian, and Ears, played by DJ Khaled, come sweep the place.", as the two see Lance watching the security footage of the supposed Lance taking down two men as he steals the drone, supposedly to be Killian, "Oh my god, we have a frame going on in here!", before seeing Lance tell them about Killian and how he scanned his face to conceal his identity to make it seem like him, as Ears said it was a bit Scooby-Doo, "Thanks for foreshadowing the Scooby-Doo movie that came out only half a year after this film.", referencing the Scoob! film.

"Sterling makes an escape as he goes off to track down Walter about his mysterious biodynamic concealment invention.", the investigator said as they see Sterling meet Beckett again, the former in need of the latter's invention; the two see Lance suddenly take the beaker liquid as a drink when he was impatient, as Walter confirms he drank the invention, "Oh boy, we're going in for a ride aren't we? I do hope there's isn't an anatomy sequence where the invention shows to be flowing through the bloodstream or whatever."

The elder sister of Ruby said, "There won't be."

"Oh, gee. I guess it's a lot better that way.", the brown-haired girl smiled before they see Walter say that by drinking the beaker, he'll transform into a pigeon in 45 seconds as silence ensues between the two of them for more than 10 seconds, "Uh-uh! Make that 120 seconds, as in 2 minutes."

The blonde said, "My, I wonder what this transformation sequence is gonna include. Slow, gradual or sudden?"

"Not even close. First he has stomachaches, then goosebumps, then other symptoms including pigeon silhouettes, dislocated eyes, baby hands and peaceful hallucinations.", Akane rolled her eyes.

Yang reacted, "That sounds very uncommon for a transformation.", before synopsizing, "After an intense transformation sequence, we finally see Lance turn into...a pigeon.", as she and Akane saw Lance's pigeon form with Lance's spy clothes lying on the floor, "Okay, I do hope that he doesn't speak in this form. If so, then that would be nice. It would actually build a strong, flowing connection between Lance and Walter with an immerse use of the pigeon's non-verbal communication-", just before they react to Lance screaming in his pigeon form as the camera shot circles around him in the perspective he's now in, causing Yang to jolt, "...or that!"

"Yeah, we're really doing this now? Really? Look, this isn't the first time Disney has ever done or tried this before.", the investigator said before mentioning, "Like other films such as The Emperor's New Groove, Brother Bear and The Princess and the Frog, they all have human characters transforming into animal forms, and sometimes they're able to speak their human language as well as to others. The directors of Spies in Disguise must've thought, 'Hey, since we're planning to make more original films at Blue Sky Studios after a few years of sequels, why don't we just steal from Disney's talking animal concept? That'll bring audiences in for it!'"

Ruby's elder sister respected, "But this is their first film as directors, so let's not be too hard on them. I also have to say that Lance's pigeon form looks, in fact, very good. The blue part of his body represents the invention he drank, and the black lower part as well as the bow tie symbol on his body represents his secret agent apparel and also representing Lance himself, while the animation style for his bird form is very similar to other Blue Sky films. We have to get it credit at least."

"Yeah, I have to admit the animation was good.", said the brunette, "Lance finds out Walter called the agency as the former tries to flee the scene.", as they see the bird form of Lance berating at Walter as he double-fired the latter, as Akane assumed, "Yeah, that kind of firing must be collateral damage level.", before saying, "But it looks like he needs help from Beckett in order to change Sterling back as they speed up in the spy car, thus ensuing a chase scene."

The blonde reacts when Walter's pet bird named Lovey was with its owner and the bird form of Sterling were in the car on route to his private jet hangar, "Yeah, life-support animal. I hope she doesn't act like a life preserver or something. Maybe very much like a dog's loyalty to its owner.", before saying, "I'd have to say this part was pretty cool, because it was high-octane, hilarious and action-packed, all at the same time. I mean, a pigeon driving a car as it careens all over the place? That was what Disney hasn't before although Stitch did drive a gas tanker into a volcano once."

"But this chase scene wouldn't be any better when...", Akane told as they saw the spy car use the oil slick, which ignited when the car was driving backwards, careening around before crashing off the constructed bridge, as a slow-motion sequence starts with the song Close to You by The Carpenters playing, "Now this scene was indeed funny. It would've been much funnier if Space Oddity played instead, but seeing how the song Close to You relates far more faithful to the plot, it suites much better."

Yang adds, "Yeah, why not play the song Muskrat Love while they're at it? The RV crash from Anchorman 2 was more similar to this scene, but less adult and more fun for kids. Even the spy car happens to land perfectly on top of a mobile cargo truck. Every stunt in this movie is like a domino effect, as if everything lands perfectly as expected.", before summarizing, "They manage to flee as they fly on their way to Kimura's location at Playa del Carmen via plane."

"We also see some chemistry between the bird Lance and the geek Walter.", the investigator said.

The two of them see the part where Walter started talking to Lance, droning on about the facts and advantages about being a pigeon, as Yang groans as she lied her face down, slamming and stomping in annoyance when hearing Beckett continue telling pigeon facts (ex. pigeons can see in slow-motion), "Well, we already know the facts! Pigeons can have superhuman abilities, they can fly, they can poop- Enough said! Well, I could say there's one other fact! They can straight-up murder people!"

That was when Yang and Akane suddenly saw Lance imagining himself ejecting Walter out of the airplane with a press of a button via ejector plane seat, as other things but him and getting sucked out of the airplane while the former whoops and laughs evilly to this straight-up imaginary murder as a red light shined on him in the airplane.

Yang and Akane were shocked by this part.

"Now I regret everything I just said this past moment after seeing this part!", the elder sister of Ruby apologized whilst shocked with Akane, before continuing, "They eventually make it to Mexico where not only Sterling was befriended by two other birds named Jeff and Crazy Eyes, but he also goes to interrogate Kimura."

The investigator reacts when the bird Lance tells Kimura to put his hands up as the towel he was using falls as it shows his buttcrack as it took the antagonist a moment to put it back on, "Why didn't Sterling just censored it with his wing just a second earlier? Deadpool kinda handles censorship better than this is.", preferring to this, as Lance interrogated Kimura more as the birds Lovey, Jeff and Crazy Eyes gather around him, as the Japanese arms dealer looks behind a bit whilst conversating with him.

"'Even if I did- I don't see you anywhere when I'm looking back this way. What can I expect? You lurking in the darkness while there's only a few birds in sight? Well played, Sterling!'", mocks the blonde huntress as she imitated Kimura's hands-up-and-looking-behind pose.

The brunette girl then indicated, "Unfortunately, Sterling's cover is blown yet again as he then fights Kimura once again...though his Vulcan nerve pinch was too soft this time as he gets his cloaca handed to him.", just before witnessing Sterling on the ground as Kimura prepares to crush him with a stone chess table while Sterling doubts his death as a pigeon and his fate of being buried in a shoebox, mimicking, "'Now I'll never get to make more Men in Black or Bad Boys sequels...'"

"But Walter comes to save him from Kimura as they both interrogated him for the villain's location...with the help of Beckett's truth serum.", spectated Yang, with her and Akane observing the snippet where Walter sprays Kimura with the truth serum, "Oh, boy. This truth serum has to work. Maybe he could tell the truth in a matter of seconds! Let's see what this has to offer!", until onlooking Walter asking the Japanese antagonist what his biggest secret is, in which he answers that he peed in the pool, as both Beckett and Sterling comment it was a lot of honesty, "I don't know. I can only say that the Lasso of Truth is a better truth item than the Truth Serum is. More like the Stupor Serum, if you ask us.", before going on with the plot, "But Marcy and her agents arrive as Lance and Walter try to escape."

Akane mocked as Walter as she and Yang watch Lance say to the teen about jumping to the resort balcony to escape from the agency as he said quick names like 'cat pass, tic-tac, jelly roll' and the kid answering frantically 'desk lamp, flimflam, bottle cap', claiming he doesn't know what they mean; "I apologize, I haven't been to military school, so you might wanna rephrase that in English, please?", resuming, "After a Super Mario reference, a backfired jump, and Lance dropping a censored F-bomb, we partake in another chase scene, and this time they go all over the place, involving gadgets, cartoonish injuries, crotch shots, damages to the resort, and Crazy Eyes spraying tons of silly string at the pursuing agents."

"This movie has a way of going top-notch, isn't it?", Ruby's sister questioned, "While the two heroes and the birds escape from Marcy, Eyes and Ears, we cut to a...incredibly dark scene focusing on Killian.", as the two of them see Killian using the Assassin drone to carry the scientist out of Killian's lair and above the sharp rocks at the edge of the ocean, letting him go to fall to his death; "Okay...that was some serious shit they just did. He literally kidnapped a scientist and then kills him afterwards. He even promised to let him go after he did what he asked! What is he on?", imitating as the scientist says he would let him go as he asked and reminded he were to let him go, "And when I mean let you go, I mean I'd let you go...to your death!"

The investigator said, "Back on the boat where Lance and Walter are in, the latter attempts to make the antidote for the pigeon.", interested, "Wow, this transformation plot is going near the end, don't you think? We haven't past an hour yet, and we're already at the antidote part? I mean, this is like a gamechanger in Disney stories like this. Right, Yang?"

"It's going to fail because we're still in the middle of the story. I just know it.", prescenced the huntress.

The brunette reminded, "Oh...well... It's worth a try."

"Walter seems like he almost made the antidote work, but it turns into a sulfur experiment. That's pretty much how original ideas are starting to decrease in the next century or so.", described Yang as they watch the part where Lance impatiently told Walter that people will die if he doesn't do something, with Yang imitating Walter when he argued with him and noting the amount of motion-sickness medication he had been using and that he hardly felt his legs, "That must be the over-exertion I took from jogging, running and such. I've done too hard on those Spider-Man films."

To be continued...