A/N: Just a friendly reminder, we're already at the halfway point through the first part of the second season, which this season will comprise of three parts, but the story will nevertheless continue onward after the end of the second season with a ton of more surprises as it goes.
In this twenty-ninth non-canon review and taking place during the Sociality Arc, Team RWBY teams up with Athena Cykes once again, along with a new fellow reactor friend named Harley Quinn (from the DC Universe show of the same name), as the six of them look at the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie with a promise that was supposed to please every TMNT fans...
BEACON
During their second day of their social event, Team RWBY and Athena Cykes came back from eating lunch together with the others, coming back to the former four's dorm room once again as they plan to play a bit of video games together.
"Man, this social event is becoming more and more fun by the hour. Just earlier today, I reviewed Spies in Disguise with good friend Akane Tsunemori. She seems like a good girl, you know?", Yang mentions her previous movie review.
Ruby said, "And we're still glad that our old crossover friends like Maka, Natalia, and especially you, Athena. Thanks for joining us here and there...", thanking Athena, "So, what game are you thinking of playing?"
"Well, I've been playing some awfully bad video games recently, but some time ago, remember that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie we watched and reviewed in our shared dream?", Athena said to Team RWBY.
The four RWBY girls reply, "Yeah?"
"There's a new TMNT game that's called Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows, with the game coming out many years ago different from that seq. Heard some pretty bad reviews of it, but we'll see how it turned out.", reported Athena.
Ruby guesses, "That reminds us. There's a movie after that."
"Yes, I remember that movie with the same title. Looks promising.", the orange-haired girl questioned.
The leader of team RWBY confirmed, "It's the sequel to that 2014 TMNT film we did. Did you read the reviews?"
"Let me guess. I presume that movie's gonna suck like the last one, isn't it?", the attorney asked, disappointed of how the first film turned out .
The red-black-haired huntress corrects, "Actually, no. It says on the Rotten Tomatoes website that it has a better rating than the previous film..."
"Well then. If so, then let's just put that game aside for now and watch the TMNT sequel with the same subtitle together? I do hope it isn't as bad as the last one is."
Blake and Weiss hoped, "Who knows, it wouldn't even hurt to look it over and review how it's like. The trailer seems to be bringing back some nostalgic elements from the cartoons."
"C'mon, girls! I'll go get the review ready lickety-split!", excites Ruby and Yang as they prepare to start the review...
...before the five were startled when they heard RWBY's dorm room kick open.
"What's up, bitches!", a voice called to them from behind.
The five turn to see none other than the fellow guest from Gotham City back on Earth, Harley Quinn (from the DC Universe animated show).
Ruby casually said, "Oh. Hey, Harley. How's the social event going with you and your friends?"
"Oh, not so bad. In fact, your friend Ty Lee seems to have a hilarious interest in watching YTPs. Even I, Noelle, Maki, Tamaki, Iris, Church and Sarge enjoyed it so far.", Harley smiled, "So what seems to be happening, ladies?"
Athena told, "We were about to watch a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie together before we play a Ninja Turtles game."
"Well, I'll be blown out of my ass. Wouldn't hurt to join you guys for the review. After all, you did invite me and the others, RWBY. Would it be fine if I join you for the first time?", the anti-hero requested.
Yang verdicted, "Well...though for one, you are an anti-hero who has a couple girlfriends and does bad business back in Gotham City while reviewing and reacting in your spare time...and another seeing how you're getting along with us and the others... Yeah, sure. We don't see why not."
"This is great! What TMNT movie are you talking about in particular? Original? Animated? Or the new one?", the Maid of Mischief questioned.
Blake told her, "New. Done the first one already with Athena here, but our review that we'll be doing will be focusing on the sequel to the last one less than two years between both films."
"Which the sequel happens to be named Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows.", Weiss finished for her dear Faunus girlfriend.
Athena adds, "Oh, and it's named after the game that came out three years ago! They must've used this game title for the movie as a clear coincidence, like when people think Endgame would be the perfect title for Avengers 4, but they end up being correct conclusively. Huh...we might do that movie with Infinity War if there's time."
"Yeah, later on this week, we'll do it.", Ruby pondered before happily telling, "But more importantly, Harley, welcome to the club. Maki, Tamaki and Iris already did a review with us first thing this morning before breakfast, the showcasing movie being The Sorcerer's Apprentice."
Quinn nodded, "Yes, yes, I know. I'll be obliged to join. Hopefully this sequel won't be as bad as the first."
"Gladly it's not like the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III.", mentions Cykes.
Rose ensures the two, "Oh, trust us. It isn't...but it's not perfect either."
Team RWBY, Athena Cykes and Harley Quinn's Commentary of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (Part 1)
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows, the follow-up to the Michael Bay produced hit from 2014.", Ruby and Yang reminiscenced.
Athena slated, "Everyone got excited for this movie because it was finally giving everyone everything the fans always wanted. I mean, everything."
"Bebop and Rocksteady, Baxter Stockman, the Technodrome, the Turtle van, and most notably, Krang, one of the biggest villains! How did everyone react to it?", Harley said.
The seven discussed this shortly as they concluded that the movie sucked, with Athena saying this, Team RWBY ensuring it sucked a little, and with Harley agreeing.
Blake and Weiss continued, "Some things are amazing and a ton of fun to watch, but other things are...kinda bad."
"So what did this movie get right and what did this movie get wrong? Well, strap on your giant mechanical nunchuk arms...", the DC girl promptly said, "...This is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows."
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows
Ruby starts off the movie's opening scene, "It opens with New York looking unhealthily green..."
"They've been infected by a nuclear shamrock shake?", Athena observed the aerial shot of NYC's green-tinted look, during Ruby's opening sentence.
The leader of team RWBY continued, "...as the Turtles are jumping off the Chrysler Building to...pick up a pizza.", as it shows the Turtles picking up a pizza from a delivery boy without him noticing due to looking at his phone before walking off once the pizza was taken.
"We'll find out more ways to destroy your creation!", mocked Harley, before the six see the Turtles' names and titles being shown.
Cykes asked, "The movie then literally spells out their names. Yeah, thanks, we would have forgotten if you hadn't reminded us."
"We're not watching Game of Thrones. We can remember who these four are.", Yang told.
Quinn says, "...while also being nice enough to list their marketable stereotype.", as she and the other five girls rested their arms, all smirked and nodded casually; the anti-hero summarized, "They go to a Knicks game, because if you like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, you obviously also love basketball, where it's revealed that Vern, played again by Will Arnett, is given credit for defeating the Shredder. How the hell is anyone supposed to believe that? We all know that the Turtles and April defeated him in the first film, so does that mean they praised the person that's involved the most closest?"
"Yeah, it's like saying team JNPR single-handedly took down some violent gang-bangers that we technically took care of and that they took credit for it.", the blonde huntress mentioned.
Pyrrha said from outside the room, "Thanks for the honorable mention!"
"The Turtles then shoot spitballs at him, because it's clearly more important than stopping crime, and they seem to get a direct hit.", Blake continued nevertheless before seeing the Turtles cheering after successfully pulling off the spitball prank on Vern, caw-cawing at him.
Athena questions, "I think they're all having simultaneous strokes.", as the six girls imitated the Turtles caw-cawing from the same scene.
"They get a call from April, played again by Megan Fox, who's following a scientist named Baxter Stockman, played by Tyler Perry, who she thinks is working for the Shredder.", the Faunus describes the next part.
Harley shrugged, "Either that or Madea is undercover as Neil deGrasse Tyson."
"Neil deGrasse Tyson? Really?", wonders the attorney.
The Maid of Mischief tells her, "Yeah. Neil deGrasse Tyson."
"You sure that Tyler Perry as Baxter Stockman doesn't look like anyone else you can think of?", Weiss said, raising an eyebrow before saying, "She starts downloading information off of his iPad, but he's taken away before she can get all of it.", before she and the girls watch a snippet where the disguised April meets with Baxter, "Huh. It's how most women get out of a conversation with Michael Bay."
The DC anti-hero adds, "Speaking of which, insert our gratuitous sexy shot as April finds an emergency schoolgirl uniform stand to disguise herself.", as said scene was shown with April switching her disguise.
"Maybelline. For your random spotlight-appearing, pantyhose-vanishing kleptomaniac tendencies. That'll be $94.25, bitch.", the heiress says before she and her friends laughed, just when they saw another excerpt of April sneaking in a photoshoot with other models whilst downloading Baxter's information.
Athena commented, "Wow. I didn't know such a lame excuse could get someone into skimpy clothing."
"Yeah. We'd tell that to Nora.", Ruby said.
Nora said outside the dorm room, "Thanks again!"
"We then see the Shredder being hauled to jail and...wait a minute...", the orange-haired girl abstracts before reacting to the now-revealed Shredder, different from the first film.
The six of them then think over the appearance of Shredder between the first and second films.
Athena says for all six of theirselves, "Who is this guy?!", before ranting, "We know we didn't really see the Shredder's face in the first film, but even from that shadowy outline, we know this isn't the same guy. Even his reveal is nothing. Last time, it was big mystery what he looked like, and now, it's just, 'Oh, hey. I'm Shredder. No biggie.' He's unmasked the majority of the movie! That'd be like if Michael Myers was walking around without a mask."
"Yeah, it's like saying this Chris O'Donnell lookalike is Casey Jones.", demonstrated Ruby, before they saw Casey in the movie, who looked little-to-nothing like the character in the comics and cartoons.
The six of them thought over the appearance of Casey Jones between the movie and the comics, all exclaiming, "What the hell?!"
"Casey Jones is a pissed-off vigilante. He hates the justice system because he thinks it's broken, resulting in short-fused badass who doesn't play by the rules. Think Rambo meets Jason. What's this guy's story? Becoming a detective like Jimmy fuckin' Olsen?", swore Harley.
Ruby continued, "Close. Just take the exact opposite of everything he was, and that's him."
"Look, the guy playing him, Stephen Amell, is a good actor. He's proven that time and time again. But in this movie, they're just not giving us who Casey Jones is. He's like, 'Ready to forget how awesome I was in Arrow?'", Yang explains.
Cykes reacts when Casey talked to Shredder about his crimes and anger management issues, "Oooh, that must mean he's a badass. He has anger management issues."
"This movie's over-compensation is like that kid that says 'My mommy thinks I'm tough!'", mimicks the blonde huntress.
Quinn then says, "So Baxter Stockman and the Foot Clan ambush the truck to break him out.", asking when seeing the following action sequence of the film with the Foot Clan blowing up police vehicles guarding the van containing Shredder and trying to break the leader out, "Actually, why do they even need the Shredder? It looks like they are doing pretty damn good without him. Pretty much like that 2007 TMNT film."
"Yeah, I think it's like losing Ted Healy from the Three Stooges. It's not a big loss.", casually says Blake, before seeing the Ninja Turtles in their battle van as it brings up giant nunchucks, "Okay, that was awesome.", just as the six saw the giant nunchucks being destroyed.
The anti-hero disappointed, "And they're gone."
"And the coolest thing only lasts a few seconds.", Athena groans.
Team RWBY saddened, "They're making us get used to it.", as Blake imitates when Casey sees the Shredder escaping and the former guy says the latter's name, "If that is your real name!"
"But Baxter uses a teleportation device to beam Shredder away, resulting in him somehow meeting up with everybody's favorite alien brain, Krang!", mocks Harley.
Weiss says, "And now it's time to play Why is this awesome but not as awesome as we thought it'd be?"
"Krang looks pretty good even with the modern-day updates, but for some reason, they give his body this cluttered mechanical head instead of the traditional bald head from the cartoons? I wouldn't mind so much, except in the trailers, they clearly did give him the bald head, so why change it?", issued Athena.
Harley cuts in, "No, no, that's not the reason. The real reason is because Krang barely gets an introduction before immediately throwing a ton of plot at us. Like, a ton.", as the six look over the scene with Krang giving away the exposition of his evil plan, "We barely have a chance to take in how awesome it is to see Krang on the big screen, because everything in this movie is so quickly rushed."
"No, that's not the reason, either. The big issue is his voice. That's Brad Garrett, who's usually a pretty good choice, but he comes across as really...random in this.", the girls witnessing the movie watching Krang speak one of his dialogue lines, "The inflections, the pitch, the attitude, none of it seems to have any direction."
Ruby nodded, "Anyone with a weird, distinct voice can do it.", as a moment of silence happened as they thought about someone, "I said anyone with a weird, distinct voice can do it.", yet nothing happened before she sighed, "...I'll be right back."
"Where are you going?", Yang, Blake, Weiss, Athena and Harley question Ruby.
Rose says, "To the auditorium. A guest speaking is there.", as she left the room.
"So, how were you able to voice a ton of Disney-Pixar characters, anyway? Does anyone see you as the next Mel Blanc?", one of the Beacon students ask in the crowd.
The guest there was none other than voice-impressionist Brian Hull.
Brian says, "Well, I've been doing a lot of voices for a while now, and I've done over hundreds and hundreds of character impersonations. Went to Disney World many times and I even made the Disney characters surprised by my impressions-", before Ruby comes in as he saw her, "Hey. Are you one of the girls of team RWBY?"
"Why, yes I am, Mr. Brian Hull. If it's not a bother, we need your help with something.", the leader of team RWBY respected.
Hull asked, "How long is this thing?"
"Only a couple minutes. I promise you'll continue straight back, okay?", Ruby sweetened.
Brian shrugs, "Okay.", apologizing to the audience, "Sorry, guys. I'll be right back in just a few minutes.", as he went with Ruby.
Back to RWBY's dorm room, Ruby brings Brian to their room where she, her teammates, Athena and Harley were still there.
"Oh my god, it's Brian Hull! Your voice impressions were amazing by the way!", Harley and Athena excited.
Brian smiled, "So, what do you want me to do?"
"I'm trying to show that the voice of Krang is very random and anyone with a distinct voice can do it. So do some distinct voices! Anything! You're good at this! Come up with any distinct voice you can think of.", confidently told Ruby, "Maybe the Krang 1980's voice is a bit too obvious, but maybe some celebrity impressions for Krang will do."
Brian sighs, "How about a bit of Walken?", impersonating, "Shredder. Shame on you. I see you're more than just an expensive barber. I wanna give you more power. Woopie-doo... I wanna be like you-hoo-hoo.", switching his impersonation to Sam Elliott, "But Sam Elliott has different plans. I wanna use the Technodrome made by Dodge Ram to steal all the good sarsaparilla. I'm talking about the Krang here.", and lastly switching to Michael J. Fox's impression, "With the help of Doc Baxter Stockman, that's heavy. Using the plutonium gotten from the Libyans, we're gonna make this town disappear faster than the Back to the Future animated series."
The girls cheered, "Nicely done! That's about it."
"Wait, that's it? Is there anything else?", confused Brian, "Wow...that was shorter than I thought."
Ruby kindly says, "Well, we can't really think of anything else to do with your talents. You're one of the best voice impersonators we ever heard of!"
"Wait a second. What if we turned him into a mutation of all the nostalgic Saturday morning cartoons as a medley by his voice?", said Harley, an idea popping in her head.
Brian smiled, "Really?"
"Ooh, like the comedy of the Ninja Turtles.", Athena delighted.
Hull does his Michaelangelo impersonation, "Cowabunga, dudes!"
"And the strength of Lion-O.", the DC girl snickered.
The celebrity impersonator says his Lion-O impression, "Thundercats! HO!"
"The brilliance of Batman!", the attorney came up with another suggestion.
Brian smiles whilst saying his Batman impersonation, "I am the night!"
"My God, this could be amazing. But now, go, Hull! May your voice live long and prosper!", team RWBY inspired.
Hull giggled, "Oh, my God! I'm so excited! I'm off to go back to the guest speaking then!"
"Bye!", the girls said as he left the room, sighing happily.
Yang resumes, "What makes things even stranger is how willing Shredder is just to go along with this weird brain's domination plan. Literally in seconds, he agrees with it.", reacting to said scene, "No, no, no. The correct answer is...WHO ARE YOU?!"
"WHAT ARE YOU!?", Athena imitated.
Harley screams in imitation, "WHERE THE HELL IS THIS?!"
"WHAT?! WHAT!?", Blake and Weiss exaggerated.
The DC Maid of Mischief synopsizes, "We then cut to Laura Linney as the police chief Vincent, because a woman in a pantsuit will balance out a woman in a short skirt."
"Hey, it worked for black people in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.", Blake and Weiss told.
Athena complained, "Her only job is to roll her eyes and say, 'nope, wrong, uh-uh'."
"When will people learn that the doubting police chief in movies is always right?", the Faunus and the heiress sighs.
The attorney says, "She throws Jones off the case because, big surprise, they don't believe his story about giant turtles."
"But it's okay, because he decides to solve the case himself. And you better watch out, because when he goes rogue, he roughs up...people's glasses...", Ruby followed, the girls watching Casey destroy glasses in the bar.
The orange-haired girl impressed, "Ooh. He's really off the rails. In the original film, he's beating the shit out of bad guys, but here, he's throwing CDs. CD's nuts!", as the bartender asks Casey if he was out of his mind while the latter is drinking.
"Does this fall more under interrogating or temper tantrums?", ponders Harley, joking, "But, hey, it was a Vanilla Ice CD that he threw, so that's a reference. That's a point!", thinking of Vanilla Ice saying 'Word to your mother, brotherfucker!' from That's My Boy.
Yang outlines, "So Shredder finds the two inmates who helped him escape called Bebop and Rocksteady, and uses them as test subjects for one of Krang's weapons.", the film showing Bebop and Rocksteady transforming from the mutagen they took.
"Now, in most incarnations, they mutated by combining people with animals, using the same ooze that made the Turtles. Simple. Makes a lot of sense. So what's the complicated reasoning here?", reasoned Quinn, before they listen to Baxter explaining that a gene in humans would turn them into animals by the purple mutagen.
This confuses the six girls, as Athena went on to ask, "What the hell are you talking about?!", ranting, "Animal ancest... What?.. What was wrong with just put the ooze on them and combine them with other animals?"
"Does this mean other people have animal ancestors, like Snoop Dogg was actually a dog?", asked the anti-heroine from Gotham.
Yang suggests, "Taylor Lautner was actually a llama?"
"Wallace Shawn was actually a seal?", added Athena.
Harley told, "And let's not forget Dennis Hopper as King Koopa, the tyrannosaurus rex lizard king."
"The TMNT story behind the rock band is making more sense than you!", preferred Blake, "I bet the warthog Bebop mutant's like, 'Hey, Timon! Time to make our obligatory cock joke!'"
Quinn joked as the two mutants look at their crotches, "Pumbaa! Not in front of the kids.", scoffing, "Yeah, have fun sending dick pics to the cast of The Jungle Book."
"Well, it goes along great with their fart jokes.", shrugs Athena, "April sees what happened and tries to escape, but Casey's there to save her, wearing his trademark hockey mask. And this is the only time you'll see him wearing it. Did we enjoy it?"
Team RWBY say in unison, "No."
"Too bad.", grins Harley.
Blake then says, "Casey's introduced to the Turtles, and they're trying to figure out the best way to track Bebop and Rocksteady, but he doesn't want anything to do with it."
"But Donatello makes an amazing, if not totally nonsensical discovery. If Krang's ooze can turn people into animals, perhaps it can turn the Turtles into humans.", the DC girl examined.
Cykes thought, "Maybe if they combine it with that Super Nintendo controller on Donatello's arm, we can get a really good Turtles game."
"But Leo says no without consulting the others, which eventually makes its way to Raph and Mikey.", said Weiss as they watch Leo and Raph argue in the next scene.
Quinn notified, "Well, at least they keep the most important of Turtle traditions."
"Leo is always the worst leader.", the heiress nods righteously.
The anti-heroine wondered, "Is there an ooze that just transforms you into less of an asshat?"
"Raph and Mikey want to break into police headquarters to get more of the ooze, so they call on Vern to help them sneak in.", Athena summarizes.
Weiss mocked as Vern when the movie shows the next scene showing April and Casey talking to him, "I will erase years of Bojack in one single performance!"
"Michael Bay gets tired of making the military look like idiots, so he turns to making the police look like idiots, as our heroes easily sneak past them. With Megan Fox saying Cowabunga. And NOT the Turtles.", Harley continued as they examine over the scene, "Win."
The orange-haired attorney reacts when April showed little-to-no sign of alarm when the Foot Clan infiltrates into the police station, "Wow, gotta love that incredible look of shock and horror on April's face. Did she find out they're in trouble, or tried to hold back a fart?"
"In fact, a lot of Megan Fox's performance is underplayed. Where in the first film, she was at least passable and clearly trying, since most of the movie's about her, here, she sounds more like a lifeless computer generation than the actual lifeless computer generations!", the blonde Gotham villain points out.
Ruby mocks, "April-bot, not amused. April-bot only trying when in schoolgirl fetish mode.", synopsizing, "But the Turtles are stopped by the police.", as the girls see the officers witnessing the Ninja Turtles as they called them monsters.
"Hey, green lives matter.", imitates Harley as one of the Ninja Turtles, as Casey and April tell the Turtles to go as they distract the officers.
Athena also mimicks as one of the officers, "Um, we could still shoot you. Uh, okay, whatever. Have a good day."
"The Turtles are, of course, bummed out at how people looked at them.", Quinn continues the film as it showed Michaelangelo telling Splinter of what happened.
Ruby then said, "Mikey's like, 'It's like when they released our images online.'"
"But enough of that emotional stuff, because this movie can't take two seconds without moving somehow!", the DC girl scoffed.
Cykes excused, "It seems Donnie can track Bebop and Rocksteady's DNA, because, of course he can."
To be continued...
