Blake Belladonna, Weiss Schnee and Yume's Commentary of Simon Sez (Part 2 - Final)

"The hot chick and Curly Howard Lee try to stop Rodman from taking the girl away, despite the fact that she's not very happy to have the help.", Yume starts off the second half of her, Blake and Weiss' Simon Sez review.

Blake reacted when seeing The Dancer in the film fight Xin Xin as she says 'Job this!', "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Snappy comeback there, lady! Snappy comeback! Job this. Gah, I haven't been that blown away by a comeback since...ever.", just as more snippets of the movie had The Dancer defeating Xin Xin while Nick finds the boss's daughter Claire as Michael in the movie came in, but not before Nick pulls out a gun at him.

"Ah, yes, the always classic scary assault by crazy person form of rescue.", Weiss presumed.

The archer girl states, "It's a dying art.", as the movie shows Michael kicked the gun off Nick's hand as he makes his move by taking Claire away as Nick chases after them; Simon comes in to throw Michael off and onto a car before running off while Nick struggles to keep Claire from escaping as she has a potato gagged on her mouth/

"Really? Nobody's doing a double-take at a teenage girl gagged with a potato in her mouth?", the white-haired girl questioned.

Yume disappointed, "Yeah, we can't even defend that one, Dane Cook. You are on your own.", as they watch the part where Simon, Nick and Claire were about to go off a cliff in the car as the top flew off, with Simon staying calm and Nick screaming in fear as they went off the cliff, but not before the parachute opens and they casually fly through the air; the three girls viewing this imagine the song Chitty Chitty Bang Bang playing over this scene just before the car lands safely on the beach, with Nick puking out the side window after the flight experience with Simon commenting 'Caucasians'; "Way to be both politically and un-politically correct."

"Yeah, 'cause we people know all about how to land our flying cars.", presumes the black-haired huntress, "So the daughter, in the flowing idiot motif that this movie has going, thinks this is all just a ploy for her dad to keep her away from her new boyfriend."

The red-haired girl then says after they watch the snippet of Claire talking to her father William in the movie, "Ah, the humble beginnings of Bella Swan.", just as the movie shows the Cybermonks again in the following scene.

"God, it's like everywhere we turn, there's an annoying comic relief waiting for us! We go over here, annoying monks! We go over here, Dane Cook! We go over here, a stupid dumb broad! Why couldn't this movie just be about Rodman and that kung fu chick? They're the only cool characters.", Weiss asked, hopefully.

Yume smiled, "Fortunately enough, Rodman goes to visit The Dancer at her home when…", before the three girls see the two fight again.

"Good Gods! They'll fight over anything!", Blake and Weiss commented, "Add a fight from The Venture Bros. while they're at it!", as the fight sequence had strobe lighs happening during it, "Okay, where are we? 'Cause this clearly isn't happening on planet Earth! Especially Remnant!"

The archer cutely questioned and tilted her head, "She has strobe lights on the bed. Why would she go to the expense of having strobe lights on the bed? Is there a seizure fetish I don't know about?"

"Even if there was, would you want to know about it?", the monochrome huntresses both questioned.

The redhead replied, "Not really.", continuing therefore, "So after this subtlety, we see Cook and the monks playing cards while supposedly looking after the daughter.", as the film had Nick searching for Claire as he dimwittingly checks the bathroom for her, causing Blake, Weiss and Yume to groan in disappointment and frustration.

"Well, gee, what do you think she's doing?", sarcastically says Blake and Weiss.

Yume shrugs, "Maybe she's so, I don't know…", before she, Blake and Weiss say, "ESCAPING?!", angrily as the archer-like girl continued, "When will guys learn that womanly problems doesn't always mean womanly problems?"

"I bet Nick is like in this scene, 'Do you have something for me to overreact to down there?'", the Faunus and the heiress mocked, causing a snicker from the both of them, "So her boyfriend comes to save her just as she's captured by the bad guys again. It's like they're playing ping pong with a college student."

The red-haired beautiful girl synopsizes, "But Rodman gets a message from Ashton saying he wants to meet up and come to an agreement.", as the movie had Simon arriving at the villain Ashton's lair just as the latter's henchmen appear in mime-like makeup.

"What's with the Clockwork Orange mimes?", giggled Blake.

Yume guessed, "Were the flying monkeys unavailable?"

"But don't worry, guys. This only gets sillier.", Weiss proved, just as the following excerpt showed the part where Ashton asks Simon for the disk, who answers that he doesn't have it, just before shooting the colonel as Simon catches the grenade he was holding onto.

The black-haired huntress resumed, "So the colonel is killed, the henchmen try to shoot him down, all while the hideout is being broken into. Hey, they can't all be nothing but net. Hey, if this movie won't make the basketball puns, nobody will!"

The archer outlined, "So the comic relief escape but get caught in a quicksand pit they set up, because..."

"Simon says so?", Blake referenced.

Yume snapped her fingers, "I'll go with that one.", going on to say, "But Rodman comes in just in time to save them. By the way, why is there fog in a quicksand pit?", before she and the monochrome huntresses thought, "Again, Simon says so."

"Meanwhile, we see more of Ashton and the tied-up daughter, and I swear his acting gets so over-the-top, you can practically edit your own library of cartoon sound effects.", the white-haired huntress described, "And good gods! Does it ever get more over-the-top than this?"

The redhead girl giggles cutely and says, "The daughter's boyfriend goes to join the team, because apparently, friendships are born within the space of a cut...and they get the disk back to her father so he can make the handoff.", with Ashton meeting Claire's father William who asks him where his daughter is, to which Ashton spilt the beans about the daughter's whereabouts, "I bet Ashton's thinking 'It took me three hours to come up with that one. Stop me, I'm on a roll!'"

"So Ashton gets the disk, but one of the monks gets a herd of sheep to stop them on the bridge.", the Faunus and the heiress told as the cybermonks were seen in the next scene, being annoying as ever; "So just to clarify here, the biggest plan that these CYBERMONKS HAVE IS QUICKSAND AND SHEEP! YOU'RE A DISGRACE TO SUCH A RIDICULOUSLY COOL TITLE!", before they watch the next fight scene with the cybermonks assisting Simon during the fight against the henchmen with a staff against those with guns, "It'd be funny if the henchmen's like, 'Look out! He has a staff, and all we have are mere guns!'"

Yume considers, "Alright, if you're getting defeated by the overweight Cybermonk in battle with a shepherd's staff, you seriously flunked henchman school.", while the movie's chase sequence showed one of the cybermonks being played as a stunt double in a couple edits during one part of it.

"Wow, that monk sure did lose a lot of weight after being flipped over that bridge, didn't he?", Blake queried.

The archer suggests, "The fact that it was an editing stunt double error, or it must be all the dancing he was doing."

"So Rodman chases Ashton down while partaking in some thrilling action scenes.", impressed Weiss.

Yume happily said, "It's great that Rodman has his helmet on so he doesn't actually have to show up on set.", as they watch through the intense sequence with Simon guiding his motorcycle around the tunnel and avoids the car as a ball of fire explodes behind him, "And that...is awesome."

"They finally reach Ashton's Super Weapon of Death- No, really, that's what he calls it. As he decides to start blowing up national monuments.", the black-haired Faunus abstracted, with Ashton in the film explaining to Simon whilst the latter was battling his henchmen about his plan to destroy the Eiffel Tower, "Wow, even the movie couldn't come up with a good reason for why this guy should be a villain."

The red-haired girl confused, "Yeah, isn't this sort of like when Marvin the Martian says he's going to blow up the Earth because it blocks his view of Venus? And do you ever wonder who did the colorful animations for his DEATH LASER?"

"That's a good point. That's pretty impressive animation for back then. I still wonder where he got the creative team to do that? It's a great mystery...", the white-haired heiress pondered.

Yume climaxes, "But the Cybermonks bring their spy fly back and use it to stop the enemy.", as another snippet shows Ashton about to destroy the Eiffel Tower before the honeybee-like spy fly lands on his face, with the girls imagining the Honey Nut Cheerios' Buzz Bee being heard in the background over it, "So while Ashton is surprisingly more occupied with swatting a bee than destroying the world, Rodman gets in and delivers the finishing blow.", the film having Simon defeat Ashton as the latter was electrocuted, with the computer showing a cartoon version of him getting struck by lightning.

"Uh, he used the electricity going through his body to shock the button so the building would self-destruct?", Blake and Weiss ask in unison.

The archer sighs and refused, "There...there are no words. But...there's one more explosion for the road.", as Simon in the film escapes with a cliched gigantic explosion that happens behind him which destroys the whole place; it then shows off the start of the film's ending with Nick and the Dancer telling Claire what had happened 'That's our Simon.', just as Yume says, "But, hey, to its credit, this is a pretty solid ending for this film. It had some badass explosions, some over-the-top one-liners, some awesome action scenes, and this is actually a pretty stylish ending."

The three were then disappointed as they saw another annoying scene featuring Nick during the film's ending, mistaking the audiences as Simon with a new look, with both Blake and Weiss saying, "We hate you, Dane Cook!"

"You've worn out your welcome!", warned Yume.

Blake and Weiss then ended, "So, what's their final line we're gonna go out on? Another animal sound effect along with a Free Willy joke! Wow! We actually ended on another animal sound effect. And not just an animal sound effect, an animal sound effect we already used! Was that…really the strongest joke in the movie that you just had to use it again? You know what? It probably was, because this movie SUCKS!"

The three of them make their overall opinion;

Yume says, "Anyone going into this movie is gonna know it's stupid, but as stupid movies go, Simon Sez is awesomely lame. Some of it is beyond obnoxious, but other parts will definitely make you laugh. If you know what you're getting into, turn off your brain, sit back and enjoy it."

"Well, we guess we will say that the action is surprisingly good, Rodman as usual isn't that bad, and even the relationship between him and the martial arts chick, while bizarre, is actually kind of enjoyable. But we still can't take Dane Cook or those pain-in-the-ass monks. They're just too freakin' annoying for me to get any joy out of it!", Blake criticized.

Weiss concludes, "So, between the two of us, you can probably figure out whether or not you'd like this movie."

Knock, knock, knock.

"Yes?", Blake and Weiss ask.

"It's Ruby, Yang and Cameron. You done yet?", the three said outside.

Blake says, "Almost! Anyways, I'm Blake Belladonna..."

"...I'm Weiss Schnee..."

"...and I'm Yume."

"And now, we're so happy to get it over with!", the three said before they left the room.

They opened the door to see the three other girls, with Ruby and Yang saying, "How was Simon Sez?"

"Dane Cook was the worst part of the movie besides those cybermonks. Plus, we haven't done Double Team yet, so it's a first.", Blake and Weiss sighs.

Yume asks her girlfriend Cameron MacCloud, "So what's happening?"

"I just found out that Kasuga happened to have won a raffle recently, which means you, me and our friends will be able to go to Niagara Falls for a three-night stay.", Cammie announced, the blonde Scottish gen:LOCK recruit hacker excited.

Team RWBY surprised, "Niagara? That's where we and some of the others here went to before! What kind of raffle was it anyway?"

"I didnae know, it was one of those contests that you participate in. So, I'm afraid that we are going to have to leave tonight, if that's okay with you all.", MacCloud said.

Ruby smiled, "We don't have a problem with it. Who's going?"

"Me, my friends from the Anvil, Caliban, Yume, Shihoru, Merry, Kasuga, her friends, Emi, Suzuno, Eureka and Anemone.", confirms the hacker.

The scythe wielder thumbs-upped, "Alrighty then. If that's best for you guys. I'll remind the others later about it. Just stay safe, make sure to come back here because it's only been only one day since the social event started. I'm sure we'll all have fun in the meantime."

"And we have to admit, Niagara Falls is one of the best places you'll ever go to. Think of it as Las Vegas, but with minimal gambling and all sorts of entertainment.", rated Yang.

Blake and Weiss sweetened, "Trust us. You'll have as much fun as we are."

"Sup!", someone called for Cammie and the others.

Cameron turned and said, "Kasuga! Emi! Eureka!"

"I see that your friends are very nice lately.", the ninja Kasuga smiled.

Emi and Eureka said, "It'll be dinnertime soon and we need to go. The shuttle will arrive in less than an hour."

"Okay, Yume. Let's go get ready.", Cameron told her girlfriend as she escorted her back to their temporary dorm to get their stuff ready, with Kasuga, Emi and Eureka following.

Team RWBY looked on as the girls left.

"I bet they're gonna do just fine together.", Blake and Weiss said.

Ruby and Yang reasoned happily, "I see that Simon Sez was a flop?"

"Indeed it is, girls.", Blake and Weiss replied as they went back to their dorm.

End of Blake Belladonna, Weiss Schnee and Yume's Commentary of Simon Sez

Up Next: Ruby Rose, Yang Xiao Long and Maka Albarn's Commentary of Man of Steel