"Who raised you? Wolves? Do not wear your boots on my bed."
"You, Galion and Ferdan did. I would be better mannered if wolves had raised me."
"Perhaps, but you would not be near as much fun."
"Perhaps not, but maybe I wouldn't forget to take my boots off."
"You probably wouldn't wear boots, wolves have no purpose for them."
"I would not actually be a physical wolf, Ada, that's not how it works."
"Yes, but who would make your boots? Who would even know you needed then? Do you think hedgehogs would volunteer their quills and the spiders their finest webs so that the wolves can sew your footwear?"
"What is wrong with you?"
"They don't have thumbs, Legolas. I don't think they could even hold a needle even if they had managed to gather all of the knowledge and tools for the task."
"What if they stole them from a village for me?"
"You think they would deem it important enough to try and enter a house knowing full well how many of them are killed a year by the mortals? How would they even enter the house?"
"Suppose they drug somebody out of a field while they were at work and then took his boots."
"But how would they take the boots off?"
"I don't know, bite the bottom of it and shake it off."
"Boots are far too tight for such a thing, they would have a better chance of just tearing it to shreds in their mouths."
"Why are you putting so much thought into this?"
"There would be a better chance of them accidentally biting the enter limb off trying to get the boots to begin with."
"That is incredibly morbid and unnecessary."
"You were the one who wanted boots so badly."
"You were the one that let me get raised by wolves!"
"You were the one who didn't want to be fun."
"Hard to be fun when the ones who raised me brought boots with the old owners feet still inside of them."
"Some Elves are just never satisfied with whatever well meaning, but truly harrowing, actions their Wolfpack commits for them."
"Forgive me, I'm still recovering from the disembodied feet incident."
"Should have stayed at home and let me raise you, then."
"Should have let me have my boots on the bed."
"Never. Next time it happens I'll be scaring some poor wolf pup for life by throwing footwear still occupied into the far reaches of the forest."
"At least the wolves gnawed off somebody else's feet in order to help me, not my own to permanently disfigure me."
"Maybe they would have once you had your own boots, and did it to them. You really never know."
"I'm done with this conversation."
"I'm ashamed at you, those are the well groomed manners the wolves raised you to have! What would your other father say?"
" 'Awuuuoooooo,' probably."
"But in a more scolding tone, I assume."
"Obviously, what kind of father do you think he is?"
"A hairy one."
