The storm winds blew violently as my hair slapped my face. I faced the colossal bastion in front of me with Roderika by my side. So this was it; the lion's den. Godrick had the homeland advantage because I knew nothing about Stormveil. The blondie next to me was rubbing her arms soothingly with great sorrow in her downcast eyes. I felt a pang within me to see such an innocent person this solemn. Her face was one of those that was designed to smile with wholesome joy which is why it was so jarring to see her like this. It only made my anger towards Godrick spike.
"I never thought I would confront Stromveil's gates," she said. "It feels unreal; like I'm in a waking nightmare."
"I understand," I said.
"But I'll be strong," she stated, "for the sake of my friends."
"Are you sure about this?" I asked. Truthfully, I was a little reluctant to enter the castle myself. From what I've heard from Kenneth, Godrick is no one to worry about. However, the descriptions of Godrick contradict that idea with images of an old man who's grafted grotesque and disturbing body parts to himself.
"No." I sympathized with her uncertainty because I felt the same. But we can't let Godrick have control over our minds. We can't let him instill fear into us. He has enough power in Limgrave, we cannot let him have power in our hearts.
"The gate is shut," I said. "We'll have to find another way in."
Roderika pointed out that there was a small entranceway right next to the gate and she followed me in. It was a dilapidated room that had a large hole in the side of a wall. There was a man who stood against the wall hunched over. He had gray hair and a sagging face; he was also unusually lanky and tall.
"You two there," he said, "come over here, would you?" His voice was gravely raspy as if he was dehydrated for days. The man looked lamentable with his frail arms to his side like a servant.
I drew my blade but he said, "Stop, stop. I bid neither of you ill-will. You're Tarnished, aren't you?" Roderika hesitantly nodded.
"I would advise against taking the main gate into the castle," he said. "It's tightly guarded by hardened old hands. Try the opening right there." He gestured to the gaping hole in the wall to my left. "The guards don't know about it. You'll breach the castle undetected."
I whispered into Roderika's ear, "Should we trust this guy? He seems a bit sketchy."
"I am not the best judge of character, but I'll trust your decision, Nathaniel." The main gate would be difficult to go through with all the guards… well… guarding it. If this man was telling the truth, it would be a lot easier to infiltrate Stormveil. But I could die; Roderika could not without having to return to the Erdtree. So I had to be prudent in my choice. After thinking about it for a while, I decided that we would be taking the side entrance.
"Yes, that's the spirit," he uttered. "You're just the kind of Tarnished that I like." Okay, he didn't have to be so creepy about it. I felt a shiver rush up my spine after hearing his gruff, hoarse voice.
"Let's go, Roderika," I muttered, pulling her along by the arm. "We should leave." That gatekeeper was beginning to scare me as his eyes got progressively more intense as he stared at us like a crazy coot.
We walked out to find a narrow mountain pathway that led up the side of the fortress. Roderika and I made sure to step carefully as we went up.
"These walls have been battered," Roderika said.
"Well, an eternal storm and wind surround it so I expect nothing less," I told her.
We encountered a few hawks on our way and we both had trouble swiping at them. They were agile and ferocious and terrifyingly coordinated. They also had razors attached to their feet. Well that's just dandy.
I whacked a bird away before it pecked my eyes out as Roderika stayed back. I turned to look at her and said, "Are you okay?"
"Yes, just go on." We encountered a Grace Site and wooden stairs that trailed along up the side of the castle. On lookout was a guard with a red cloth wrapped around his head leaving a little slit to see out of. I gestured to Roderika that I was going to try and sneak up the stairs but it was a terrible idea. I got spotted instantly. The soldier took out a horn and a clarion sound rippled through the area. Roderika gasped and I genuinely felt fear for her.
"What do we do?" I asked as a small group of soldiers were rushing down the stairs towards us.
"I-I-I do-don't know," she said. Her voice made me wince; once sweet and kind to fearful and afraid. Roderika's hands visibly quivered as she tightly gripped her blade.
"Ah!" The hearty and ambitious swing of a sword almost struck me. I used the expansive fall next to us and threw the soldier's off the side of the stairs. There were a few close calls; I almost tripped when my foot got caught between the steps.
"Tarnished warriors," one soldier addressed. "Flee while ye still can. Nothing awaits you here. Only the fate of those who become one. Especially the woman; her arms look ripe for grafting—"
"Screw off." I grappled his shoulders and heaved him off the side; I watched him as he fell. But looking back at Roderika, I lost my combat high and I immediately went to her. "Roderika, what's wrong."
"My… legs wouldn't move. My arms were useless. My heart could not beat. I froze. I'm so sorry." No, please, don't do this to me. Honestly, it would've been more pleasant to have Roderika be terrible to me than to see her on the verge of crying like this.
"Hey, hey, it's no big deal. They were easy to deal with thanks to the precarious way these stairs are positioned. You don't have to apologize."
"But what if it happens again? What if I leave you to fend for yourself just because of my weakness?"
"That won't happen," I assured her. "Just… let's just… go."
She nodded and followed me into a chamber that was connected to the castle's ramparts. Weirdly, commoners were spread out across the room and they looked to be asleep. We could either go up or go to what seemed to be a storage area with boxes and crates haphazardly stacked and a man with a large axe protecting it.
Yeah, that's not happening. So I crept up the flight of steps only to be dragged backwards by Roderika. Before I could ask what was wrong, a massive fireball erupted right in front of me. Then I saw it: explosive red barrels. Some commoners were throwing firebombs at us! I guess Godrick forced the people of Limgrave to work for him.
"Thanks," I said before hesitantly trying to bait the men to throw bombs at us. When they did, I shielded my face from the explosion and charged through the smoke. Quickly, I cut them down and they turned to ash.
"It seems that Stormveil won't be lacking any challenges," I muttered, snatching a few firebombs for myself.
"It does bring a foreboding sense of despair," Roderika said, "with all its glowering walls made out of ashen stone and complete absence of any peace and serenity."
"Well that's one way to put it," I said. Seeing a door, I went to open it but I was frustrated to find that it was locked. "Locked?! Guess we'll have to find another way."
Stormveil had to have had the most arbitrary and disorderly layout I have ever seen; it was like navigating a maze in here. It didn't take long, though, to find a door that wasn't locked. The problem was that it was pitch black inside the room that it led to.
"What do you think is in there?" I asked, rubbing the back of my neck.
"I am not sure," Roderika whispered back. One thing for sure is that there's nothing good in there. However, it was the only place left to go.
Roderika then said, "I shall go in first." As much as I appreciated that and as much as I dreaded going in, the fear of seeing Roderika get hurt was much more potent. So I gently grabbed her shoulder and shifted her behind me.
When I say that the room was dark, I mean that it was comparable to the vacuum of space and there was a faint, fetid smell. I snuck in with Roderika close behind me. What was this room? It was filled with nondescript furniture which were in poor condition. The room didn't look to have any particular purpose.
A loud clang came from behind me as I heard the distinct chuckle of a person; it was a dark and sinister laugh. Then the sound of a click of a lock signalled to me that we were trapped inside.
"Someone locked us in!" I banged on the door. "We need to get out of here." There had to be something in here that could help us open the door. I don't know if I could break down that reinforced door if I wanted to. However, when I looked at Roderika, all she did was give a resigned expression.
Then, in the darkness, I could hear the distinct clank of armor chinking against itself. Heavy footsteps were approaching us and I jumped every time I heard it getting closer. A light scrape was barely audible but just enough to sound ghostly. Roderika seemed to be in the same terrified boat as me. In front of us was a tall, looming knight.
"So it seems Tarnished-folk are foolish enough to enter Stormveil," he said. "Your kind will do anything to earn grace, even go after demigods. I respect that in a way but your imprudence carries you to your grave."
"Who are you?" I asked.
"You need not ask."
What ensued was a blind and wild conflict of swords. I couldn't see, Roderika couldn't see, and he couldn't see. All there was was pure instinct. Even with the two of us, he had an impenetrable defense. His armor was thick and durable while his shield was as robust as a boulder. The sword he carried was no toothpick either. It was a sharp-edged, hefty piece of metal that could cleave me into two.
Roderika mostly dodged throughout the fight. She was quick and light but made no move against him. I was having a hard time deflecting his weighty attacks.
"You think you can come into the castle where the storm rages? Stormveil will eradicate Tarnished all. I'll drag your lifeless corpse to my master and I'll watch as he assimilates you into his glory."
"Agh!" He bashed me with his shield.
"Just give up. Perhaps Godrick would allow you to leave if you begged for it. You will have to leave a few limbs here but you could keep your lives." I inched my fingers into my bag and wrapped my hands around a firebomb. Then I chucked it.
A brilliant flower of light ignited in his face. He clawed at his helmet with his hands as the fire went through the eyeholes and burnt his eyes. I felt horrible so I stabbed him in the back and watched him fall.
That was it. A few seconds, maybe minutes, of combat and then it ended. I then looked at Roderika and I could tell that she was shook on the inside. I couldn't be there for her. I don't know how to comfort her. How could I ever help her in this? This castle was horrifying to her like a perfectly crafted fear chamber specifically tailored to her personal horrors. This is where her friends live on which was probably more appalling than having them buried here because they live on as part of Godrick. They no longer have possession of their own body parts but instead, they're used by a despot in some taboo ritual and practice. My heart yearned to do something and my brain was trying to convince me that I had the exact words that will break her out of her misery and compel her to go on. But something in my mind told me that I was not wise enough to handle this.
It was insufferable knowing that I was not good enough to help her through what she was going through. I had too much experience messing up trying to console someone; I couldn't do that to Roderika. So I remained silent as I waited for her to speak up or move or do anything. Please, Roderika, talk to me. I have zero emotional intelligence so I'm not sure how to start a conversation without it being awkward.
Instead of saying anything, Roderika searched around the room until she came upon an old, rickety chest. She unlocked it and found inside of it a key. Wordlessly, she exited the chamber and I followed.
"Roderika," I said. Nothing. "Roderika." We returned to the previous door that was locked and the key fit right into it. On the other side was a long ladder up. Roderika was first onto it and she scaled it with ease. "Roderika."
"Quiet, Nathaniel," she said, "there is nothing but repose within me. It's okay. This lair of that grafted monster may make me feel ill but it is no hindrance to me. Let us be on our way swiftly."
All right, I guess she shut me down. While we climbed the ladder, I couldn't help but dwell on the painful silence her last comment had created. Should I talk? I don't think that would be the smartest move. But I really wanted to say something cool, something inspirational. However, I knew that sort of thing was not for someone like me. I knew I would just mess it up.
We continued on through the labyrinth known as Stormveil and encountered a few more of what Roderika told me were Banished Knights. They were difficult to deal with but with some luck, we managed to get through them.
Eventually, we made it to a walkway outside and I finally got my first good look at the inside of Stormveil. Its gray, gothic architecture was overwhelming and heightened the sense that I was not safe. Hawks were posted atop wooden beams with explosive barrels attached to their feet.
"Godrick really loves his hawks, I guess," I said.
"That monster loves nothing but himself," Roderika replied. "He forced his grafting art upon those poor creatures."
"I'd rather not deal with hawks that have explosives attached to them. Let's just go." So me and Roderika ran past the hawks but not without a few close calls. The hawks chucked barrels at us which ignited all the other barrels in the area. In the process, the hawks killed themselves in the fireball of the explosion. Were the hawks trained to do that?
We ran down stairs that were attached to the inside of the rampart onto the roof of some sort of chapel building. Then we both climbed down a ladder onto the ground. Instead of progressing forward, I actually went to go check out the chapel. Inside was a small library with large shelves stacked with ancient manuscripts and leather-bound books. There was a room next to it with pews and an altar and there stood a man with a large wizard hat wearing dusty yellow and cyan clothes.
"Stormveil is no stranger to secrets. This man does not seem to have ill-will towards us. Shall we speak to him?" Roderika asked.
"The more allies we can get in this place, the better." She nodded.
So I walked up to him and said, "Uh, hello, we come in peace. My name's Nathaniel and next to me is Roderika."
He smiled and said, "Ah, nice to meet you. The pleasure's mine. Rogier's the name. A sorcerer as you might've guessed. I'm looking for a little something here in the castle. When I'm not hotfooting it from the troops, that is."
"Yeah, it's not exactly the most welcoming place," I said.
"What are you doing here?" he asked. "This place is bristling with Tarnished hunters, you know. They sacrifice our kind for grafting. Not exactly a place I'd stroll without a purpose in mind."
"We're here to defeat Godrick," Roderika said. "It is no easy task but it must be done."
"I see," he said. "Here to challenge Godrick, and lay your hands upon a Great Rune, are you? You can see it then, I take it? The guidance of grace."
"Only he can." Roderika pointed to me. I always wondered why I was the only one who could see the golden light rays. Furthermore, I always wondered why I was dragged here to the Lands Between in the first place. It seems the guidance of grace is something special around here.
"Well, enjoy it while you can. I'm Tarnished, like you. But unlike you, I've seen neither hide nor hair of this guidance for the longest time. Still, I won't forget how it felt when I first came here, to the Lands Between."
"Why do you think I can see it?" I asked. "I'm no one special."
"Whoever you are, you must be pretty important if grace still lies within your sight. Where do you come from?" I sucked in a breath. I don't think I told Roderika that I come from a different dimension entirely. Should I tell her? I trust her. But I don't really trust this Rogier guy; I just met him.
"I come from some place far." It wasn't exactly a lie. "I can hardly remember it anymore."
"The Lands Between do have the tendency to make you forget that there's any good in this world," he said. "Godrick and his horrors await you here. Take caution and forsake not vigilance."
"Can it be done?" Roderika asked. "Can he be killed?"
"Whatever Godrick is, he is not immortal. Death stands at his doorstep and Godrick is doing all that he can to stall his inevitable confrontation. It is most certainly possible and I wish you the best of luck when facing him."
"Thank you," she said.
"I can see the Greater Will has given you special attention," he said, pointing to me. "I'm intrigued as to who you are but I will not pry further."
"The Greater Will must really like to mess with me if he brought me here."
"Maybe, maybe not. Just don't neglect to look for a purpose. The Greater Will rarely acts unless it has a plan in mind." Why did the Greater Will go through the trouble of bringing me here? Why not someone more qualified? Someone stronger and smarter. I just didn't see the reason to bring me of all people.
"I don't know what the Greater Will is planning but I have a bad feeling about it," I said.
"Not a bad instinct. Be on the watch. No one ever really knows what the Greater Will's scheme is. But for now, Godrick lies deeper in Stormveil."
"Yeah, I think it's about time we go."
"Goodbye, Nathaniel and Roderika. I hope to see you both at the Roundtable Hold and hear of your victory."
"See ya," I said.
Roderika and I crept through Stormveil like rats trying to avoid being dinner for a feline. It was difficult to avoid being spotted by a random guard wandering the castle. My mind was getting tired and it made the disturbing sights more potent. I found a room where limbs were hung up from the ceiling by rope. The rotting flesh of the appendages were pale in color, dripping with blood that was such a deep shade of red that it almost looked black.
Barbaric torture devices were haphazardly placed in rooms like they were going to be used for later. As I looked down from the second floor to a dining area, sweat started pooling on my forehead as I saw a grafted scion. It was the very first thing that killed me. I almost wanted to vomit looking at its shape and figure. In the dining hall was a large painting of a tall man with a battle axe wearing golden armor and a large lion on his back.
It seemed that the more time I spent in Stormveil, the more it made me go insane. The constant sound of wind and the ever-present smell of decaying meat was infecting my judgement. The dimly lit rooms with only small torches for lighting felt like they were trapping us in. Small critters that scuttered around our feet annoyed us to no end. My dusty hands were calloused and blistered. Who would ever want to live here? It was more like an abandoned asylum than a royal castle.
"Roderika," I said, "make sure that I tell Melina how much I hate this place."
"Um, sure."
"I mean, honestly, this is the most twisted place I have ever seen. It's a wonder that anyone would want to work for Godrick."
Banished Knights and exiled warriors filled Stormveil. Why were they here to work for some tyrant? What did they gain?
"Evil always attracts more evil. Godrick finds people like him to help carry out his machinations," Roderika said. "That grafted fool killed my friends and disgraces their death by attaching them to himself. I feel sick for letting that happen."
"It's not your fault—"
"It is though," she said. "I ran when they were captured. I was a coward. And their lives were the price for my cowardice." I could tell that she was getting heated again. Whenever the topic of her friends came up, it didn't end well.
"Just calm down."
"How can I ever be expected to be calm? I don't deserve to have tranquility. No matter how hard I try, I can never truly be fearless."
My heart went out to her. I felt so bad for her. I felt the most crushing weight on my soul because I couldn't comfort her. There was a gap between us that I just couldn't bridge.
"Hey," I said, putting a light hand on her arm, "it's not about being fearless. It's about doing it—"
"In spite of fear," she finished, "I know. I've heard it before. But I don't know how. It's not as if I can just turn off the feeling. I can't shut away all the guilt, the fear, the loneliness. How am I supposed to defeat Godrick like this? He's a man with no shame, no guilt for what he's done. He's a monster. He'll kill me."
I didn't know what I was supposed to say to that. I knew of these feelings that she had. I knew of the guilt that she had. Was it a mistake bringing her here? Was it still too soon?
Before I could think of a good response, Roderika's head perked up like she heard something.
"What is it?" I asked. She didn't say anything. Instead, she walked in a random direction and I just followed her. Roderika stopped at a large pit with body bags at the bottom and a large troll carcass hanging over it.
"Why are we here?"
"I don't know," she admitted. "I heard… something. A voice from down there." Two rabid dogs were down there, feasting upon the mountain of bodies that were probably used for grafting. The walls were crusted with dry blood and the dogs were now barking at us.
"I don't think anything good lies down there."
"But I heard something… something familiar." I took another look at what lied below. The dogs bared their bloody teeth at us but then they returned to eating the corpses down there.
I know Roderika was distraught but was she really suggesting we go down there?
"I'm not sure that's the best course of action," I said. "Maybe we should just keep going forward, you know."
"But there's really something down there."
"In the bodies?" I asked with an eyebrow raised. "Look, Stormveil is just getting to our heads. How about we find some place secluded and we take a small break? We can chat, catch up, and rest our brains."
"I know there's something down there. It's calling to me. I know I sound crazy, Nathaniel, but please trust me."
Of course I trust Roderika. But I don't know if she's in the right state of mind at this point. However, I could see that she was adamant about this.
"Well, I guess there's no hurt," I said. "We can deal with two dogs, right?"
She smiled at me. The first one I've seen since coming into Stormveil. It was a small one that had none of the usual light behind it but it was something welcome to my eyes nonetheless.
We jumped down into the shallow pit and the dogs proved to be no problem for the two of us.
"Ugh! Goodness, it smells awful!" I said. Around me laid hundreds of cadavers put into body bags. The bags were all damp with blood and I could feel the distinct shape of a human body in the sacks.
"What are we looking for?" I asked. Roderika told me that there was a voice she heard here. She was digging around but I was hesitant to put my hands anywhere near the pile of bodies. I saw her pick up something wrapped in a soft, red cloth. She stared at it awhile.
Then she said, "Nathaniel…"
"Yeah?"
"I found… what I was looking for…" Her eyes revealed a shattered mind. It actually scared me. They were wide, desperate and pleading for help. Her fingers twitched around the little object she had in her hand. The curl of her lips switched back and forth between a broken smile and mournful expression. She held it out to me, not really as an offering but more of a plea for me to take it away from her.
I quickly snatched it and looked at the cloth and the object in it. At first, I was confused as to what it was. It was a brooch wrapped in red velvet with visible traces of blood on it. What was this?
Then I heard it speak.
"We are now a part of the grafted lord. Our limbs are his to use as he pleases. Now, prithee, tell us why you let this happen, Roderika."
"The hell?" I muttered.
"Our bodies forever remain in oblivion never to be reunited with our spirits. We can feel the way the spider hobbles around his throne room. The mass of flesh we're now a part of continues to writhe in agony. Why couldn't you have saved some of us, Roderika? Instead, when we needed you most, you were like a fleeting dream."
The brooch seemed to hold spirits inside of it, spirits of victims that were used for grafting. A chrysalid. And the spirits called out for Roderika. So the spirits… are her fallen comrades.
The voices were blaming her.
"I knew I shouldn't have come here," she said. "I knew deep down that I was not meant for this kind of life. I was so arrogant to think that I could've helped. Look where all of that delusion got me. My friends are dead and now you're stuck here with an incompetent partner who can't assist you in your journey to become Elden Lord. I'm so, so sorry." She was way past crestfallen at this point. Its like the last bit of hope that she had to get through this place was now gone. Her friends' spirits are not at rest. She stood there amidst the bodies of those who have been discarded, those who were grafted. Her eyes grew dark and they had a look of resignation.
She sat against the wall with her knees huddles up against her chest. Her red cloak was now a dirty maroon from soot and filth instead of its vibrant red. I felt a fear oddly enough. The thought of Roderika giving up was more terrifying to me than facing Margit or even Godrick. It was the same look she had back in that shack on Stormhill.
"I don't know what to do anymore," she said. "Those who I have fought for have confirmed my worst nightmare. That it all was my fault. Perhaps, it is time for me to go back home. Around every corner in this blasphemous castle is something that is perfectly crafted to cut me down. I don't belong here and maybe I shouldn't drag you down."
"Don't talk like that. We're here to kill Godrick, aren't we?"
"I'm not so sure. I wanted to avenge my friends but now I know that their spirits hate me. I can't do right by them. They'll never forgive me and I don't think I'll ever earn their forgiveness."
A pregnant pause passed between us until I finally had the guts to speak up. I said, "Hey, Roderika." She looked up at me. "What are you gonna do now?"
"I don't know. I think this is the end for me. I'm sorry for coming along with you. It was intrusive of me."
"Please don't say that," I said.
"What?"
"Don't say that."
"There's not much else I can say. My friends are right. I was at fault. If I hadn't been so weak, maybe they would still be here."
"You can't know that for sure," I told her. She sullenly shook her head. "Look, I don't know why things turned out this way for you but I do know that it's not the end. It must be horrible, having to deal with the hatred of your beloved friends. But remember, we're doing this for them, not for their forgiveness. I think it's good to do this even though your friends might never forgive you."
"Is that so? They all meant so much to me." The chrysalid in my hand vibrated. "I ruined it all."
"You lived to fight another day," I said. "Your friends are angry but even they must be happy if Godrick is taken down."
"That is true."
I look down at the chrysalid in my hand and it spoke. "Our limbs have been given up to sacrifice. If you send her to the grafted, she might be torn apart by our hands. We've waited a long time for our vengeance. We will not hold back against her just because she calls us friends. We are not her friends. We are the grafted and our lord calls for her arms and legs."
"Hmm, perhaps they're not in the right mind," I said.
"Don't bother," she said. "I can see where they're coming from. Their resentment for me is justified."
"I don't think you can know that you could've prevented them from being grafted. And if you didn't flee, you, too, would've been grafted. Look, I don't think it was right to abandon your friends like that. But you have the chance to kill Godrick and stop this from ever happening again."
"'Tis not enough for recompense. My friends are stuck in a chrysalid. Their spirits are restless by the reality that the spider has taken them."
Roderika had small tears in the corner of her eyes. Stormveil was beautiful on the outside with strong and ornate architecture. But its master has turned all its beauty to ugliness. A hard wrench was felt in my stomach as I saw Roderika's soft eyes silently weep.
"Shhhh," I said, reaching down to wipe the flowing tears away. It would've been nice if I had a handkerchief. "I'm a bumbling idiot when it comes to things like this. But I want you to know this: it's a thought that I've meditated on ever since I came here to the Lands Between. Melina was the first to teach me it. It's not the end. Do you understand?"
"It feels like it is."
"It may feel like it is the end. But until you're buried six feet under with the whole world against you, nothing is over yet. You still have work to do." I felt my sleeves get more wet from Roderika's tears. It was not much but I wanted to give Roderika everything that I had because she felt as if she had nothing. I wanted her to know that that's what friends do. They forgive and give their all to each other. Roderika made a big mistake but it doesn't mean that she should stop trying. A past mistake should not lead to idleness. It should lead to action.
"Here, take this." I gave her the chrysalid. "They're your friends. You should keep them."
"They all believed in me once and thought I would make something of myself even though I can't do anything."
"Then I will believe in you."
I could see her eyes widen at those words.
As I extended my hand down to her, I said, "How about we get out of here?"
She took my hand.
