"It's not that you can't handle yourself. For Christ sakes Hailey, of course you can handle yourself. We just got this. We just don't have enough information yet. We don't know if Jackson has partners."
"Both girls said they only saw him." The girls weren't sure if he was the person who raped them but he was the last person they saw and talked to in the backroom of his bar. If Jackson is what they believe, the girls are lucky they were able to escape before he killed them.
"But we don't know that for sure. None of us will be close enough to you."
"So you don't think I can handle myself."
He just stares at her. The rest of the Unit looks back and forth between them. They had been arguing about this for an hour. Hailey wanting to go in, Jay thinking it was too dangerous. Both were right. They did need to go in. Jay just didn't like the half ass plan they threw together, totally based on there just being one perp, Jackson. They all agreed that they wanted Hailey to be more protected, but no matter what they did, she was as protected as they were going to get.
"Having someone on your six doesn't mean you can't handle yourself. It means you have backup if something goes sideways. I just want more information so we can make sure you're safe if there are others."
She shakes her head at him. Hurt that he doesn't think she is capable. Deep down she knows he isn't saying that but she's pissed he's fighting her on this. She doesn't want to wait. She wants to nail this guy.
"Sarge?" she asks.
He looks at the two partners, has listened to their arguments and now needs to put a stop to it before one of them, more than likely Hailey, since she was already walking that line, said something that they couldn't come back from.
"We're gunna go. Gear up. Kevin and Adam in the van. I want those cameras. Kim, you and Vanessa in the bar. When Jackson takes Hailey in the backroom, I want you two as close to the door as you can get without breaking your cover. Jay, stay at the table. When things go down move to the door after Kim and Rojas go in incase Jackson slips by us. Kevin you come around the back then, I'll be there with two Uni's. Adam stay in the van; and Adam, make sure we get everything, camera and audio."
"Are we really going to do this?" He couldn't believe they were going to do it. Once Hailey entered that huge backroom, there would be doors and a ton of people between her and us. They had no idea if someone else would already be back there and they had no blueprints that showed the configuration of the backroom. They didn't even have updated blueprints on the bar.
"What part of 'We're gunna go' aren't you understanding Halstead?"
Jay throws his hands up, mumbling obscenities and all but storms out of the room to go get changed and wired. Hailey ignores him but can't hide a smirk that she is getting her way, while at the same time feeling bad about her argument with Jay. She would apologize to him later, when they had Jackson in cuffs. She had to get this guy.
Before Hailey or the others can leave the room, Voight stops her. "Upton…"
The adrenaline was trickling in, she's ready to go. "Ya Sarge."
"As right as you are, he's right too." She scowls at that but doesn't voice her disagreement with his statement. "Go careful."
She nods her head but the scowl doesn't leave her face as she goes down to get wired up.
XXXXXXX
They've been sitting in the parking lot of a fast food restaurant for about a half hour, waiting for everyone to get in place. When they get the go, they'll drive the rest of the way to the bar. In the mean time, they sit in their own personal bubbles of quiet avoidance, watching patrons of Taco Bell come and go with their burritos and 2 for 1 tacos. Fast food had never been so interesting.
Twenty five minutes later they're at the bar, both feeling an uptick of adrenaline as they walk to the door. Right before they're about to walk in, Jay grabs her hand, "Hailey…"
She jerks her hand away. "What?!"
He looks her in the eyes. He can see her determination but he also sees that recklessness that he often sees when he looks in the mirror.
He wants to touch her, assure her that he has her back, that he knows she's got this. That he understands where she's coming from, even if he doesn't like it. That he trusts her and that now that they're here, he is all in. But another look at her face shows him that it will just set her off again.
"Please be careful." It's something they've said to each other many times but it has never felt like a prayer before.
He sees the anger flash in her eyes but then it's gone as quickly as it came. She gives him a stiff nod, grabs his hand and walks into the bar with a fake smile on her face.
"We're a go people look sharp."
Everyone has an ear piece but Hailey. She is wearing a camera and a wire but they can't risk an ear piece, so Jay squeezes her hand to let her know that everyone is in position.
They start with the plan as soon as they walk through the door. They find an empty booth in the corner and Hailey excuses herself to the restroom, a ploy to get noticed. Kim is already in the restroom as back up and Vanessa waits at the bar. When Hailey leaves the restroom, she'll go to the bar and order drinks to increase her visibility, while Kim joins Vanessa at the bar.
When Hailey gets back to the table they wait until there are more people in the bar so Jackson feels comfortable to move in unnoticed. 45 minutes of pretending to have a good time later, they implement part two. Jay checks out 'another woman,' a.k.a., Kim, as she walks by. This will give him a reason to watch her and Vanessa's position throughout the rest of the op. Hailey takes her cue and goes off on him as the jealous girlfriend. But because it was loud and no one was noticing their argument, she slaps Jay across the face. Everything stops.
Atwater and Ruzek are in the van and are stunned by the improvisation on Hailey's part.
"Damn. That looked a little bit too real."
"Shit. Look at his face."
Hailey doesn't notice the pain that crosses Jay's face. She is too focused on the mission. Hopefully that will be enough for Jackson to want to come in and "rescue" her when she sits down at the bar.
Jay is so stunned he forgot what he was supposed to do next. He watches Hailey go to the bar and sit. He sits back down himself and looks at her one more time before looking into his beer.
"I don't think Jay is that good of an actor. That hurt."
Ten minutes later, Jackson bites. Twenty minutes after that, Jackson leads a laughing Hailey to the backroom.
Jay clears his throat and says in a somewhat demoralized voice. "She's in. You guys got eyes on?"
"Camera and audio are both clear. We got her Jay."
Jay's part is over for now. He watches as Vanessa and Kim move and continue their 'drunken' conversation next to the door of the backroom. Both pretending to be a little drunk and having a good time.
Atwater comments, "Now that's good acting."
Voight and the two uni's are in the alley, waiting at the backdoor that leads right into the backroom. The lock on the door is already picked and just needs to be pulled open.
From the van they watch and listen to the feed on Hailey's button camera and mic until Hailey gives the 'panic' signal, not the 'we have enough to bust him' signal. Jay can hear Voight crashing through the door. Then all Jay hears is chaos. Adam stays in the van while Kevin runs around the building to the back. Kim and Vanessa go in, then out of nowhere, two gun shots rent the air to his left and he is trapped near the table by a rush of terrified people trying to get to the door.
Panic takes hold when he hears that there is someone else in the backroom working with Jackson and he can't get there to help. A moment later, Jay sighs in relief when he hears both are in custody and Hailey's breathless voice comes in loud and clear through his ear piece as she talks to Voight. He's frustrated though, that he has no idea what went on inside and if Hailey has been hurt at all. All he wants to do is get to Hailey and make sure she's okay.
He takes one step and feels a hand land hard on his shoulder. Jay looks to his left and sees a big guy looming over him that had been sitting at one of the other tables as a 'customer.' The guy is wearing an ear piece. Jay realizes too late that the guy was wired into Jackson and heard the bust. Shit.
Before he can warn the team, the big guy shoots into the air again, causing more chaos in the bar as everyone who didn't get out after the first shots, scatters and try's to get out the door to the backroom and the front door. The big guy slams Jay against the booth, rips out Jay's ear piece, leans in and says 'you messed with the wrong family.'
Then he lays into Jay, hitting him in the face twice, knocking him back into the table, stunning him with the force of the blows. Jay feels blood trickle down his chin from the split lip he received when the second punch landed. Before Jay can get his regain his balance and fight back, he's yanked off the table by the collar and punched hard in the middle of the chest taking his breath away.
Once the big guy has him subdued enough, he starts to walk a dazed, out of breath Jay to the front door, unnoticed by the throng of people still rushing for an escape. To ensure Jay's compliance, he twists his arm painfully behind his back, causing Jay to yelp at the sudden pain in his shoulder.
"If you move or try to get away, I will start shooting people."
Jay gives a stiff nod and groans when his arm it wrenched further up his back. Not that he could do anything, by the way the world is spinning and the fact that he can barely draw breath, he wouldn't have been able to do anything anyway.
Adam, still in the van, sees everything on the bar's cameras. "Jay's in trouble! Jay's in trouble!" He yells at the team as he exits the van sprints towards the bar.
The rest of the team scramble to the front, while the uni's take Jackson and his partner into custody, Voight calling for more back-up as he runs to the front of the building.
Surrounded by a panicked crowd, the big guy gets Jay to the back of a silver Audie, and when he feels Jay's body tense and take a step back, he elbows Jay in the gut before he can try to fight back. For good measure, he slams Jay's head into the car, lets him collapse to the ground and pops the trunk. He gets in a few kicks and is about to pick Jay up and throw him into the trunk, when Ruzek comes in with a flying tackle, knocking the big guy out.
Adam is yelling at Jay, while cuffing the unconscious mystery asshole, desperate to find out if he's okay.
"Jay! Halstead! You okay man? HALSTEAD!"
He's laying on his side barely conscious, blood dripping down his face, when Kevin drops to his knees next to him, "Hey stay still man." Jay doesn't listen and rolls over onto his back with a groan, blinking his eyes in slow motion trying to figure out what the hell happened.
He rolls back to his side, holding his sore arm close to his body and tries in vain to sit up, then he hears Voight bark at him.
"Stay down Halstead."
Jay flops back the two inches up he had accomplished, resigned to be mother henned for the foreseeable future. He forgoes holding his sore shoulder and opts to hold his exploding head together, not caring about the blood running down his face, just blinking at Kevin and trying to make the two of him back into one.
A second later, everything catches up with him and he gets a panicked look on his pain filled face and grabs Kevin's arm, trying to sit up again, "Hailey. Where's Hailey?"
Kevin looks around and sees Hailey standing with Kim and Vanessa, wearing a hoody from Jay's truck to cover her ripped shirt.
"She's here. She's good. Not a scratch on her." He decides not to tell Jay about the red mark on Hailey's cheek from where Jackson slapped her. His main goal now is to keep his friend calm.
Jay looks around and not seeing her, just nods. Kevin mistakes the countenance landing on Jay's face as physical pain. It takes Kevin a second to realize there is probably some emotional pain there also and even though he hates to admit it, he's a little pissed that even though they know Jay isn't seriously injured, Hailey hasn't come over to check on Jay.
Jay groans out loud, not able to mute it, "Hey just relax bro. Help's coming. We got ya."
Ten minutes later Jay's sitting sideways on a gurney refusing to lay down. If he lays down, they'll want to transport him to Med, even though he really wants, more than anything to lay down. He's either going to pass out or puke if the world doesn't stop spinning and tilting but he needs to prove he's okay so he can be cleared. He can't let Will see him hurt again. He doesn't want to do that to his brother.
So he tries not to be too much of a nuisance as Sylvie checks him over but he's not very good at not being a nuisance when he's trying to get out of going to the hospital.
"I'm fine. I don't need to go to med."
"Sure…Your fine." And to prove how fine he is, she rattles off a laundry list of his injuries:
"Probable concussion, busted ear drum, black eye, bloody nose, split lip, lacerated chin, lacerated eyebrow,…" she lifts his shirt which he tries to stop but Voight walks up and gives him a death glare so he let her have her way. He flinches when she presses gently against his ribs. Then speaks to Voight.
"Doesn't feel like any are broken. Definitely bruised. Couple possibly cracked."
She palpated the bruise forming just above his belly button.
"Hurt?"
He looks at Voight and is forced to tell the truth, "A little. It's fine, just a bruise."
She lifts his shirt further, then just gently removes it, even though Jay wants to stop it from coming off. But since Voight is standing there, he gives in.
"Jesus, Halstead!"
"What?" He follows Voight's line of sight and looks at his chest. "Oh…"
"Ya, oh."
Sylvie goes to palpate the red and black bruise forming right in the middle of his chest. As soon as she touches it, Jay is leaning over puking on the ground. Voight and Sylvie barely catch him before he falls off the gurney head first.
Jay leans back when he is done, "Shit."
"You don't say."
Jay tries not to die when Sylvie stabs him in the head with the laser beam of her pen light as she checks his pupils.
"Definitely a concussion."
"Shit," he whispers and decides to avoid Voight's wrath by putting a lid on his stubbornness and instead looks for Hailey through squinting eyes.
"Sarge, Hailey all right?"
Voight can see the pain in the kid's eyes and he knows damn well it's not just physical.
"She's fine Jay. Kim took her back to the station to get changed, then they'll meet us at the hospital."
"Sarge I'm fine. Really..."
"Don't think I didn't hear Sylvie say you have a concussion and a punctured ear drum.
"We're ready to go Sarge. Lay back Jay." He does so through clenched teeth, refusing to groan out loud again.
"Ok, we'll meet you there. I'll give Will a call so he's not surprised."
Voight laughs as he hears Jay mumble, "Great. Just fucking great."
Kim, Hailey and Vanessa watch as Jay's loaded into the ambulance. "Let's go change so we can get to the hospital."
Vanessa walks over to catch a ride with Kevin and Adam and Kim heads for her car. Hailey doesn't move a muscle, just watches the tail lights of the ambulance until they disappear down the street.
"I didn't go see him. I knew he was okay but I should have gone to check on him…I didn't want to hear an 'I told you so,' even though I deserve it."
Kim turns around and walks back to where Hailey is standing. "What?"
"I know I deserve it, but I didn't want to hear Jay say, 'I told you so.'"
"You think Jay would say that? Even think that?"
Hailey sighs, "No. That's not who he is. I just can't see the disappointment on his face right now."
Kim shakes her head, "And you actually think that he is disappointed in you? Come on Hailey. You know him better than that."
Hailey blows out a frustrated breath. "Can we please just go back to the station , Kim, so we can change?"
Kim looks at her friend and tries not to let her anger show through and instead tries to be supportive in the midst of a screwed up situation.
XXXXXXX
Will watches his barely conscious brother being wheeled into a bay…again. How many times will he have to do this…and which time will be the last time…ever…the thought scares him.
Ethan doesn't say anything when Will sticks around. It's an argument he won't win, so he no longer wastes his breath.
"Hey bud…Jay, can you wake up for me?"
Will puts his hand on Jay's shoulder as his eyes flutter and then close again.
"Shit."
Ethan checks his eyes, then his ears. "He definitely has a concussion. His ear drum's ruptured. April, once the line is in, let's get an antiemetic going and hopefully head off the nausea."
Will has been cleaning Jay's face of blood in-between staring at the bruises blooming on his chest and abdomen.
"Someone really did a number on him. Do we know what happened?"
"Not yet. Voight didn't say. Just said he was on his way in but that it didn't look bad. Voight's version of 'doesn't look bad' and mine differ significantly."
"Okay, I'm going to send him for a CT and some x-rays. He's got at least one broken finger and we'll take a look at his ribs. We'll stitch him up when we get back."
XXXXXXX
Hailey hadn't said a word the whole way back.
"What's on your mind."
Hailey sits on the bench and sighs. She is so pissed at herself. And a little freaked out the second guy got the jump on her. If Voight would have been slower…
"I fucked up."
"Mm"
"I was just so fucking pissed and I didn't listen and I knew he wasn't questioning my abilities but I had to fight him anyway."
"Hank okay'd the op. It still would've happened."
"I know and I knew that but I didn't have to be an ass to him and I didn't even go over and see him while Sylvie was checking him out."
Kim sits on the bench beside Hailey. "You slapped him really hard."
Hailey puts her head down. Ashamed of her action. She didn't purposely hit him that hard. She would have never done that but she was already angry. She was pissed at him, yes, but she was more angry that 6 women had been raped. Four of them murdered. All of that anger over everything came out in that slap and she hurt the person that means the most to her.
"I know."
"Why?"
"I wasn't going to hit him at all, but no one was noticing the argument. So I panicked and slapped him. I was angry. A little bit at for Jay for being so…'Jay.' At Jackson…that 4 women were dead…the rapes…It's not an excuse but all that anger came out in that slap."
"Look Hailey, I understand and Jay will too. This case had us all on edge. He'll understand and he'll forgive you. That's who Jay is."
"Not sure I deserve it."
Kim's phone dings "Adam…"she reads the text "Will said everything looks good but they want to do some x-rays and a CT just to be sure."
Hailey pauses. Not sure if she is ready to face him.
"Come on. Let's go see him."
"Kim…" She looks at her, pleading with Kim to understand, even though she's not sure she would in the same situation.
"I think I'm just going to go home. I don't think I can face him yet…"
Kim looks at her like she's an alien.
"Are you kidding me right now? Do you know what he's going to think if you're not there?"
Hailey doesn't speak or she's going to start bawling. When she finally finds her voice, she basically pukes out her excuses, "I'll just screw it up more…He'll be fine. I'll text him later. Tell him I'm glad he's okay and I'll talk to him tomorrow."
Kim shakes her head and leaves; disappointed in Hailey. Her not being there is going to kill Jay.
XXXXXXX
When Kim gets there Adam comes over to meet her.
"Any word?"
"Nothing new"
He hands her a coffee. "Where's Hailey?"
She just looks at him and that look says it all.
"God dammit, Hailey."
"Ya…She feels bad. Knows she screwed up. Can't face him yet."
He can't help his sarcasm, "Well, that's going to make Jay feel better."
XXXXXXX
Will sits beside a semi-conscious, drugged out Jay as Ethan puts the stitches in his eyebrow.
"Ouch! shit…I'm sorry Will."
Ethan cringes, "Sorry Jay. Just a few more."
Will is taken aback by Jay's apology. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. Why are you sorry?"
Jay makes a sweeping gesture with the arm not in a sling, that's meant to encompass the entire ER.
"Being here again. Making you worry."
Will puts his head down and sighs, then shakes his head as he looks at his brother.
"Jay you have nothing to apologize for. You have a dangerous job. I know that. Do I worry? Do I freak out occasionally…"
Jay has to smirk at that one a little. Even Ethan gives a huff of a laugh at that one.
Will pins both of them with a look then focuses on Jay, "Okay okay, do I freak out a lot? Yes. But that's not your fault. You work hard, you protect this city. You do the best you can to keep you and your unit safe. I know there's risk in that. So don't apologize. Just do whatever you can to not visit me at work."
Jay appreciates that his brother isn't mad or disappointed in him. That's what he fears the most when he ends up in the ER. But there's nothing he can do about the pain he causes his brother by ending up here. That he'll just have to lock away with all of the other hurt he has caused the people he loves, Will and Hailey at the top of the list.
XXXXXXX
About ten minutes later Will plops down on a chair next to them. Everyone is there but Hailey.
"Is Hailey okay? Jay was asking for her when they did the CT."
"Ya, she's fine. Rough case"
"Okay, I'll let him know. So, he's gunna be fine. He's got a concussion and a busted ear drum, so he's really nauseous. We gave him some anti-emetics and we'll send him home with some along with the pain meds. Contusions. 18 stitches between his cheek, eyebrow and chin. No internal bleeding. 2 cracked ribs, 4 bruised. Strained shoulder. Two broken fingers - he won't be shooting his gun for a while."
"He's gunna love that."
"He'd be riding his desk anyway so he's not going to be happy regardless."
"True. So he'll be fine. Miserable and cranky for a week or so and then we should all be able to tolerate him again."
"Riding a desk will probably cause him more pain than his injuries."
"Probably." Will stands up, "Okay guys, he's getting dressed now. Can someone stay with him for a couple of hours until I get there?"
"Sure. I'll hang out with him."
"Thanks Kev."
"I'll go too"
"Great. Thanks you guys."
A few minutes later Jay comes out. Will holding his elbow looks like the only thing keeping him from taking a header. He is definitely looking worse for wear holding his ribs with his injured hand.
"Jesus Jay. You look like you got hit by a truck."
He absolutely looks like shit. Black eye, split lip, cuts with angry stitches to his eyebrow, cheek and chin, shiny with antibiotic ointment. He's got a smaller cut across the bridge of his nose that didn't need stitches. And he's got his trigger finger and middle finger splinted together. At least his shoulder injury and broken fingers are both on the right side.
"We find out who the big guy is?"
Jay is all business as he all but slurs out the question, but no one missed the quick scan of the waiting room looking for Hailey.
"He's Jackson's brother Trevor, there's no record of him anywhere. We have no idea who the guy in the backroom is. Platt's working on it."
"Hailey's okay?" It's half question half statement. Until he sees her for himself, he's not going to believe it. "Anyone else hurt?"
Kim speaks up, " Ya, Jay she's good. Adrenaline crash..." they all know this is a lie or at least not the only reason she isn't here. "She said she'd check in with you tomorrow."
As good as he is at locking down that stoic mask, when it comes to Hailey he fails miserably. You can tell he's hurt and trying to keep it together as he sees her absence exactly how we thought he would. That she's still pissed at him for 'doubting' her and him getting hurt changes nothing.
"Great."
"Come on. Kev and I are gunna take you home and hang out with you til Will gets there."
He blows out a breath and gives everyone a nod. Voight puts a hand on his shoulder.
"If Will clears you we'll see you in a week for desk duty. If your concussion symptoms are gone in a couple of days, I'll let you get off your couch to come in and write your report so you don't go stir crazy"
Great. Equal of two evils. Riding my couch or riding my desk to do paperwork when I'm down two fingers."
They all go there separate ways then but as soon as they're in the car Jay clams up and doesn't say a word. Just sighs every once in a while as he tries not to get sick all over Adam's car.
When they get to Jay's, he almost takes a header getting out of the car.
"You sure you're okay"
He huffs out a breath, "I'm fine."
"Oh and there's cranky Jay. Right on time."
They all walk up to his apartment building and see Hailey sitting on the steps. She stands up instantly, "Oh my God Jay!"
Adam and Kevin roll their eyes at her reaction but better late than never. Hailey doesn't miss the hope, sadness, resignation and then again hope flit across Jay's face.
She's looking at Jay but addresses all of us. "Hey guys, I got it from here."
The angry look on Kevin and Adam's faces is priceless and she deserves them. It would be almost comical how protective they are of Jay if you weren't the reason they were protective.
They all head into the apartment at a snails pace while Adam gives a rundown of his injuries and the med situation. He's got a concussion and a busted ear drum so he's probably going to be puking all over the place…"
"Really bro…"
"What it's true…he can take the anti-emetic in an hour. He's got bruised ribs and a couple of busted fingers and the rest are just owies."
"I'm not six, you know."
"Sorry…it's true though…the owies part not the six year old part. He's gunna feel like crap for awhile. He won't need pain meds until Will gets here."
"I'm right here."
Adam ignores him, "The pills are for tomorrow. Will wants to give him a shot tonight. He's going to be pretty miserable."
"WHAT?" He cringes at his own volume and sways on his feet before Adam and Kevin deposit him on the couch.
"I don't think I was supposed to release that information."
Hailey smiles, "Anything else?"
"Nope. Call us if you need anything."
"Thanks guys. See ya tomorrow."
Hailey sees the guys to the door then heads to the kitchen to get them each a water, while Jay leans back on the couch with his eyes closed.
"I'm sorry Hailey. I…"
"Stop." She sits down next to him and puts her hand on his knee, giving it a light squeeze.
"You have no need to apologize. You did nothing wrong, Jay. Nothing. You were being a good partner and friend. Trying to protect me from myself and when that didn't work, had my six and protected me in the club.
She puts her elbow on her knees and runs her hands through her hair then sits back up and looks at him.
"I was so angry about those girls and when you were worried about not having enough intel and the risks, it pissed me off because I was desperate to stop him. I'm sorry I slapped you so hard. I didn't mean too. My anger at the whole situation came out in that slap. Please believe me Jay, it wasn't because of you, I wasn't thinking of you when I hit you. I was thinking about the plan and no one was noticing us. I wish more than anything I could take it back."
He listened to her apology come out in a rush and doesn't interrupt. When she's done. He gives her a little smile that turns into a smirk and gathers her into his arms in a hug. When she wraps her arms around him and again repeats how sorry she is, he closes his eyes and lets out a breath in relief.
"It's okay Hailey. No need to apologize. I know. If anyone knows it's me."
She leans back and looks in his eyes. She doesn't see forgiveness there because of course, this is Jay, nothing to forgive in his book. She just sees kindness and understanding…and something else…
"Jay?"
He clears his throat. His smile is sweet and she can only smile back.
"Hailey, I…" and then she figures out the something else… "Hailey, I'm gunna puke…"
XXXXXXX
Did you think he was going to say I love you?
Maybe 'I'm gunna puke' means I love you in Concussionese.
Hope you liked it. I'll get back to working on TOTDC and Jay now. I promise.
