Ferdan looked at Avaleina as she sat in the chair across the desk from him, looking apprehensive. After sinking comfortably into the chair, she sat cross-legged and folded her arms in her lap then looked to him expectantly. Had he not called her here to have such a serious discussion, he probably would have made a joke about her looking like an elfling that was in trouble.
Thankfully, Ferdan did not often have the pleasure of having this conversation.
He would never forget when Oropher had had it with him, as they strolled aimlessly down a path. It was one of the first and only times that Ferdan had not felt like the conversation was rushed with the King and that for once he really was equal in the conversation.
Avaleina broke the absolute silence, "Please say something, there is only this kind of silence when I have done something wrong. Have I done something wrong?"
"No, child." He responded with a soft tone, a tone to convey that she was talking to the Ferdan that helped to raise her and not her supposedly 'terrifying' weapons master.
This did not seem to settle her in the least, "Alright."
"I called you here to discuss if you are aware of the path you have started walking yourself down."
Oropher had probably said something just as vague, Ferdan was trying it to see if she would immediately understand what he was talking about and give a reaction. But he should have known better than that, because he had trained her to be better than that.
"I don't see a path anywhere."
"But you feel it, don't you? You feel yourself walking towards some sort of realization." This time her non-reaction was enough to confirm his suspicions, otherwise, she would have already given some sarcastic answer. "Do you know what that realization is? "
Avaleina shook her head, her green eyes nearly glued to his face with the somewhat secret and hushed atmosphere that sounded their conversation.
"It's the realization that sometimes the world doesn't need another hero, sometimes, what it needs is a monster under the right cause."
She didn't so much as blink when he answered, and all it did was lead him to suspect she had been sensing the direction she was going for some time now. Ferdan was almost certain neither Legolas or Thranduil had really noticed, but then, they were the heroes the world needed.
They didn't need to know all the things the monster did behind the heroes back but under their names and in their best interest. They didn't need to know about all the other awful things the monsters found lurking in the underbrush.
Because that was the monster's job, to make it easier for them to be the hero.
Ferdan had made the conscious and willing choice to be Thranduil's monster, had practically welcomed it with open arms in fact. The facade had fit over him well, cloaking all of his softer pieces under scales and horns.
He was just worried that it would not fit over Avaleina that well. That it would rub back and forth until it left vicious blisters, and then keep aggravating it because Ferdan knew that Avaleina would not take off the facade.
Not if she had put it on to help Legolas.
She would wear the mask, suffer the tasks, and do what nobody else would do. Do the things nobody else could possibly do, because they weren't monsters. Because monsters did what needed to be done in quiet of the shadows, while their beloved heroes lived loudly in the light.
Ferdan knew that she would live in the darkest cave imaginable if only to keep Legolas in the sun.
"A monster, hmm?" She asked, rolling it around in her mouth like she was bound to be doing in her brain too. The upwards inflection and casual almost sing-song tone could mean nothing other than that she was already well acquainted with the thought of what these dedicated tasks and decisions would mean for her. Would do for her.
She examined her nails, impeccably clean as always, with curiosity as if she had never seen them before, "I suppose if I grew them long enough and filed them to a point that they could be considered claws."
With a laugh, Ferdan lifted up the upper lip on the left side of his mouth to reveal a row of chipped teeth. Each pointed at an angular but obviously downward trajectory, given to him through a lifetime of battles and several bad decisions, "They'll match my fangs nicely, I think."
"Fantastic!" She said, giving him a smile, "Every monster needs a friend."
"True," He agreed, but no longer had the heart to return her smile, "I just wish the duty had not been taken up by you. I just wish at least one of my elfling would not keep searching for horrible responsibilities like its candy."
Her natrual bright smile slipped into a smirk that sometimes seemed even more natural to her, "Just sounds to me like you should have given us more candy as elflings and then we would not even have time to wonder about such tasks. For we will be happily eating our candy."
"I don't think that's how it works."
"How would you know?" She asked with a lighthearted air and a shrug, "It could be! Maybe I would have become obsessed with baking and eating pies instead. There really is no way to tell."
Ferdan rolled his eyes, "At least your mouth would be closed more with all that chewing. Less annoying."
She brushed it off, "I'm sure I would have found other ways to be just as annoying as I am now. Fear not."
